#// one - I am NOT homesick; and two - RUDE!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

joy2paris · 1 year ago

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Second Week in Paris!

19/9/23

Still so surreal mannn. It feels so crazy to feel the way i am feeling - I cannot express how nervous I was before coming. I am so thankful to my past self for pushing past the fear and doing this. So so proud of myself. It's so funny as well as I was beginning to really feel regret about doing it. The nerves have completely gone and on top of that, I feel super calm, happy (I have been grinning teeth all day) and so much self-compassion. Sounds cheesy but it is the honest truth.

The day after writing this I felt a bit differently haha. Things were getting to me a bit and was feeling quite homesick and down. But, it has only been two weeks, so underneath it all I know it’s normal - so there is a sense of calmness beneath it.

On Tuesday, I decided to pluck up the courage and ask one of the girls I really clicked with at one of the picnics if she wanted to go on a walking tour to Montmartre with me. I was very happy to know she reciprocated my energy and felt the same way and wanted to meet.

Wednesday - tried to go to the welcome picnic but ended up at the wrong building :( the French security guard was so sweet though- he even offered to have ridden me on his motorbike had he had a spare helmet. My French friend I had made (with our limited convo because of my bad French vocab) was going and was hoping I could make it but I had missed it ugh.

Thursday - went for Italian w my midlands uni lot! Was a nice atmosphere and they are all really sweet, chill and funny. we then went to this shit student boat party with these other two from my home uni. One of them I had not met before but she is one of the funniest people I have met LOOL. Giving Year 6 disco vibes again and then we had to cycle to a restaurant and be jobless in Paris till the metro opened up again. The funny girl was hungry so we cycled to this 24 hour restaurant with all the rats mingling about haha. It was on that bike ride that it really sunk in for me I was here and a wave of sadness kind of came over me. I just felt unsettled and missed the comfort of my beautiful, amazing uni life (this sounds like I am seeing it through rose-tinted glasses but I can testify in the moment I felt this way too). However, that build up to that feeling was after feeling times of being unsettled in the beginning. As my second mum Cleo Sol says, good things take time. The restaurant we got to was kind of rude and we suspected potential racist vibes (we were all people of colour). all we wanted was some water and some fries but they just essentially refused to give us that and said we needed to order a big meal? It was way too pricey. Besides me and another girl, they can all speak French so it is not like the issue was us being unaccommodating English people or anything like that. Went back to two of the girls place and got some food and then I headed back at the crack of dawn to my place - I even had to crawl under the door of the metro because my ticket didn't work.

Friday - randomly went to this meeting that was not meant for English taught course students - only the French as other people from our uni were going. However it kind of worked out as we got stuff semi sorted (writing back on this retrospectively, there are still major issues). but then we got bubble tea, and climbed arc de triomphe! it was a cute vibe and nice to get to know them more. although I of course want to make friends outside of my home uni, it is nice to have them as people to connect with and for us to all look out for each other. I was too tired to go to the student party that was on later that day.

saturday - went out with the lovely german girls to bar and got crepes after :) we went to this amazing square which was buzzing with energy and I loved the atmosphere so much. they were super lovely and reciprocating of energy and they have lived in many other places. both 23 as well, so it was nice to have that almost older sister energy, connect and chat. really cheered me up! they were going to flea markets the sunday after but I couldn't go :( another time and I am excited to be closer to everything when I move to my studio.

sunday - montmartre tour and picnic. went for coffee with this other german girl that I really connected with at one of the picnics before we went on the tour. she is so genuine and I really enjoyed our chat :) the coffee was super bougie and I did have a bit of a headache after from lack of food and general exhaustion. I am excited to properly cook at my studio too. the tour was cute and met a lovely italian girl and it was cool to see the area, though quite hard to hear everything the tour guide was saying.

second long convo with my flatmate: we talked all about films and he wanted to bring me back some food from this restaurant he loved but the queue was so long. but he got me a nutella crepe instead, so sweet! so we planned to go to the cinema the following week. just so heartwarming to be looked after so well by the host family :) so grateful for them taking out the time to speak to me etc. Morals and heart all in the right place

monday 18th - finally (ish) got credits sorted. was fun just laughing about it all with the girl from my uni who is in the same boat as me. even though it is disorganised, the french staff themselves are sweet and are so chilled and laid back haha. we got stopped on bus by ticket inspectors with home uni lot on our way to urban outfitters LOL.

Tuesday - went to english lecture with a home uni girl, felt a bit sad as it was a great big hall and difficult to mingle. she is not too interested in socialising which is perfectly okay but I personally would really like to, and a big part of the reason I decided to opt into this optional year of living abroad

wednesday - was half an hour late to lecture as had not received timetable update as i am not properly on the system yet as admin is rubbish. was ready to give up but finally made it. had to sit on the ground of the hall with these two other girls because there was so many people. one girl was native French and super sweet. she let me see the notes from the part of the lecture I missed and the other girl was also lovely; Canadian studying Hong Kong raised. we grabbed lunch at the Crous canteen right after and sat on the grass, chatting about the differences between our cultures. I learned that French people who are not from Paris do not really like Parisians - they even have a special name, something like "Parisienne Chien" like Parisian dogs haha! People here are so shocked by the fact I have had to get a visa and just the difficulties that have ensued from Brexit alone.

In the evening I went to one of my German friend's apartments which is in a super nice area. I dropped off my stuff as I was staying the night at hers, then we headed to my future road for when I move to my studio - another girl we met at the picnic had a little pres before we went to this student night. It has been so fascinating just observing the differences between how cultures interact, but also with language/native barriers. Like, the way a lot of British young people chat and what they chat about. But it is also about character too, i.e. the kind of personality you have and how you act in social situations to make other people feel welcome and all of that kind of stuff. It is also to do with age too. A lot of this is self-explanatory but I am just becoming more aware of it now I am in this setting.

The event was kind of dry but I didn't have high expectations so I was not disappointed. These types of places love to play such Year 6 disco music. Back when I was 11 years old I would be eating it up but it just feels weird singing along to Kesha and Pitbull. They did play a bit of Parado no Bailão, but I am sure for the Brazilians that is their equivalent of us hearing a Stormzy song or something. It was so nice to leave at 2am and get the night bus back and be home at a decent time as I was staying with a friend. We snaffled some biscuits and had such a hilarious moment. Laughter is actually the best thing and it was just so nice to proper laugh. Writing it out it won't seem as funny, but she is the same age as me and we both did "gap" years, two years of university and are now here for a year before completing our final one. In her year out, she worked at an elderly care home in the Northeast of France. Her English is immaculate, but of course there are some words that get lost in translation, or a better word would have fit the meaning intended better. She was talking about how she had to move the elderly in their wheelchairs from one location to the other. Instead of saying "wheeled", she said they "rolled" them, and it just conjured up search a funny image and we were in stitches of laughter.

The next morning we went to her local boulangerie for a pastry and had a lush baguette. The quality of food is truly way better here. London is such a rip off. Growing up as a child there you don't really notice the price of stuff like that, and as a young adult I have been in the Midlands most of the time which is way cheaper. Events and some food spots can be pricey here, as well rent... but galleries are free for students, transport is so much cheaper and day to day eating is less (besides Mcdonalds lol). We had another funny moment where we were speaking about guys. I was sharing with her the woes of having to interact with London boys. I cannot speak for all of them, but most I have come across are just childish, arrogant, unromantic, aggressive, scarily persistent, disrespectful, unnecessary amounts of pride, worship their boys, weed addicts and actually quite misogynistic (the list goes on; single ladies we are in the trenches. Hard to not feel like all the good ones are already taken). She asked about my opinion on speaking to older guys, as she feels often their maturity is at a level we can actually take on. I said how even the older ones I had come across also fit this typical London boy trope, and that ultimately I never want to feel inferior to a guy and at a similar stage in life to them. Additionally, that I feel like older guys interested in younger girls often like doing that because they feel like they can take advantage of them a bit more. I finished this long spiel to find out that she had a boyfriend who was 25 hahaha. Though we laughed, as the day before she had mentioned that she was a bit scared/would not feel to comfortable living on the street that she did not realise was the street I was going to be moving into next week.

I had a class later that evening and had travelled all the way there to find no one in the class, even after triple checking with any staff member I could see that it was the right place. None of them knew what the issue was; I only discovered the day after about the timetable change but as stated, I did not receive this due to all the admin issues meaning I cannot access my emails yet. I met a Greek girl who seemed nice - quite straightforward seeming haha. More people know about the area I go to in the Midlands for university more than I realise. Anyways, the lack of class upset me, especially as I was going through PMS. Due to the lack of campus, missing out on some welcome events in the initial week and the international community not being so apparent to me, these lectures feel like a lifeline for actually interacting with people from my university. So I had a cry when I got back. Felt nice to release some pent up feelings. I just have to get used to the fact Paris universities are ridiculously organised and not think about the fact that this could have been avoided if I did what I usually did and researched heavily before doing this. Also, my host for where I am staying in was super reassuring. I am so grateful for her and her son for making me feel so welcome. Even though it is an hour away, I would not have changed this being my initial experience into Paris. So thankful!

Friday I really enjoyed myself :) I had a french language lesson in the morning. Although it's complete beginner class I have to be in (learning the alphabet and our names), the teacher is super lovely and funny. It really made me feel super nostalgic because it was a classroom set up, we had to take it in turns doing different activities and embarrassingly over exaggerate our mouths when we did the phonetics. Also, she had this erratic, funny energy which heavily reminded me of my French GCSE teacher. Though she seems super sweet and understanding. The classroom environment also meant we could connect as a class and laughed over funny moments. Like, we had to ask each other "Comment ça s'écrit?" when doing this name game, and one girl accidentally repeated it when it should have been everyone else repeating it. So the teacher joked that it came across like she was saying, "how you spell me?".

I sat next to another super sweet German girl (I need to visit there again, literally not come across a German I did not rate since being here) and would be really lovely to meet up with her - I said once I move into my studio but maybe I can see her in the day next week. It was also really nice because I actually got to speak to other Erasmus students in the same boat as me: the few lectures I was able to attend, you have no idea who anyone is and the layout is not catered to speaking to people. I had to hurry to my next lecture which was in our other building that was a twenty-five minutes away. There were two girls I saw ahead of me rushing in the same direction, so I decided to ask them if they were heading there. They were so sweet and we got to chatting. They are from Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, how cool! It is also really nice chatting to people with such an age range. A few years ago I had this thing about thinking I could only become good friends with people my age but it is actually really nice to have the range. In the same vein, I used to think I would only truly get along with Londoners. Although there is a shared experience and that can translate over to bond and personality, I really enjoyed getting to know sweet Northerners and non-Londoners at my Midlands uni and now here - from people all over the world!

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canirove · 2 years ago

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Bluebell | Chapter 7

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Masterlist

“Thank you so much for coming, Rúben. I know you probably are busy with everything that has been going on lately.”

“Nah, don’t worry. I actually needed some fresh air, a change of scenery” he says.

“How are things with my cousin?” I dare to ask.

“Well… The being angry days are over, and now she is on the crying ones, constantly texting me and sending me photos of how horrible she looks with her swollen eyes and her mascara all over her face.”

“Yikes.”

Rúben and Victoria had broken up a couple of weeks after Mrs. Smart told me there were problems between them. When it happened, she apparently went nuts, throwing things out the window. My uncle had been going around saying it had only been a fight, that they were still together. But this week, Rúben started moving his things out, going back to his old flat. And the whole town saw him. There was no coming back.

“So, when are you planning on reopening?”

“I’m not sure… First I have to deal with all the paperwork, then call the people my father used to hire and work with to see if they are available, then I’ll probably have to wash and clean everything, start using the website again and do something on social media… The list is long.”

I had finally decided to stay. Mainly because I couldn’t let my uncle ruin this place and everything my father had worked for, destroy it just because he was stupid and needed money. But also because I had fallen in love with this town and the life here. It was slower than in the city, and it was just what I needed. And yes, maybe the people I had met also had something to do with it.

Mason and I were still seeing each other, though just as friends. On Champions League nights I would go to the pub and help him if he needed it, which usually led to me staying there until the next morning. Or afternoon. But just as friends. With really good benefits, but just friends.

“Step by step” Rúben says with a smile. Rúben. He may also be one of the reasons I decided to stay. Besides making my days feel instantly better just by seeing him walking around being stupidly hot and handsome, there was something about him that reminded me of home, of my old life, but not in a bad way. And that feeling was definitely helping me not to feel so homesick.

“But are you sure you can be here? That you don’t have things to do as the Mayor?” I say, air quoting those two last words.

“The Mayor” he says, doing the same gesture I just did and making fun of me, “is there to help the people in his town. You are one of them now, and I am helping you, so” he shrugs.

“Ok, then. Where should we start?”

“Let’s make sure all the licences are up to date. We don’t want surprises.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Tea?” I ask. Rúben and I have been going through all the paperwork for what feels like hours, and my eyes are starting to hurt.

“Please. But let me help you with it. I can’t feel my bum anymore.”

“Ok” I laugh.

“Wow” he says as he walks into the kitchen.

“I know, it is chaos. But yesterday I was in the mood for baking and…”

“And it didn’t go as planned” he chuckles.

“It did not. Dixie ended up eating it all.”

“Poor Dixie.”

“Rude” I say, sticking out my tongue and making him laugh. God, his laugh. I bet that’s how angels sound. “Anyway, do you want anything with your tea? A toast with marmalade, perhaps?”

“Not a big fan of that.”

“You don’t like it?” I say, raising both my eyebrows. “Of course you don’t. Too much sugar and you need to keep… that.”

“Keep what?” he asks with a smirk.

“That” I say, moving my hand up and down in front of him. “I have fruit, tho. From the market, no surprises inside it. That probably is more your jam.”

“Oh, God” he says, laughing again. “My jam?”

“I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t mean to” I say, also laughing.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You sure you don’t want a bite?” I say, putting some marmalade on my toast.

“I’m happy with my apple. But thank you.”

“Your loss” I say, giving it a big bite. “It is so good, tho. Homemade.”

“And now it is all over your face” Rúben laughs.

“No way.”

“Here, let me help you” he says, putting down his apple and moving to where I am. He is holding my face with one hand, the thumb from the other moving over the corner of my mouth. And meanwhile, I’m praying for my knees to stop shaking and not give up. “Done” he says, showing me his thumb. “Now what?”

“Now you lick it.”

“I don’t like marmalade. And I can’t eat it if I want to stay like this, remember?” he smirks. “You lick it. Open your mouth.”

“I’m sorry?” I say, my voice sounding all shaky.

“Open your mouth. Lick it” Rúben says.

“I…”

“I’m waiting.”

“Ok” I finally say, opening my mouth and licking his thumb just as he asked me to, his eyes fixed on mine.

“Good girl” he says, smirking again. “Very… very good girl” he continues, his thumb now caressing my lower lip and making me gasp. And before I have time to do anything else, he is kissing me. Or to be more precise, he is devouring me. I had never been kissed like that, with that hunger and passion. I am barely able to breath, to kiss him back.

And he doesn’t stop as his hands move from my face to my butt, grabbing it before lifting me in the air and sitting me on the kitchen’s counter, putting my legs around him, making us be even closer.

“Rúben” I whisper when he finally lets go of my mouth and moves to my neck, his hands everywhere under my clothes.

“I need you… I want you” he says, coming back to my lips, to kissing them with the same intensity as before while lifting me from the counter and carrying me upstairs. He walks into the first room he finds, laying on the bed with me while still kissing me, touching me, my body burning. “Do you want me stop?” he asks, resting his forehead on mine, finally stopping to catch his breath.

I’m just able to shake my head, my body pinned under his.

“I need to hear you say it.”

“No. I don’t want you to stop.”

“Good. Because I don’t know what I would have done if you had said yes” he smiles.

“Use your hand, I guess.”

“I guess” he says, his thumb going back to my lower lip. “I must warn you about something tho… I don’t like doing it… gently. So talk to me, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Good girl” he says, going back to devouring me.

#mason mount #ruben dias #mason mount fanfic #ruben dias fanfic #mason mount x reader #ruben dias x reader #mason mount imagine #ruben dias imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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jazz-miester · 3 years ago

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Veni, vidi, cecidi ad vos

Pairing: Ravage x Reader

Reader type: Gender Neutral human

Song: Light My Love- Greta Van Fleet

Warnings: none lol

An: Had a thought. Wrote for Ravage. This came out. Let me know what you think!

Tags: @rawmeknockout I hope it's ok that I tagged you in this!

There is not a whole lot of bots Ravage cared about. He could, as the saying goes, count on one hand the amount of bots he allowed into his life. Soundwave chief among them. So it was quite world turning when you came into his life. Or rather, the Lost Lights.

He didn't think much of you a first. Just another organic that he could lump in with the rest.

Absolutely average in everything you did.

At least. That's what he thought. His opinion began to sway and change the more he watched you interact with the other bots aboard the ship.

He expected you to be like the last liaison they had. Only talking with those you had to. Being rude and irritable to the others who tries to be their friend. To learn more about humans.

So when that grudge carried over he expected you so bend and break over the hostility the bots had to offer. And instead you surprised him by rising up. To showing the better side of humanity to them. To not standing for the way they had treated you in the beginning.

He began caring for you more deeply than he meant to. It began with your first meeting. Megatron introducing the two of you. You had looked so small in his large servo. Both of your legs together barely averaging the size of one digit.

He felt a spark of protectiveness shoot through him when you came to great him. He was taller than you. Your little furry head reaching just below his chin.

And you.

You treated him as an equal. As being with sentience and thought. Not like an animal. And with such soft kindness he had yet to see from your kind or his.

It grew further when you stood up to a stubborn bot who wouldn't take a hint. Asking him all sorts of questions that, if he were still with the Deceptions, he would have torn their neck cabling without a second thought. Yet here you were. Hands on hips. Face flushed with anger. Voice high and steady as you told the mech off.

"How dare you make insinuations of any kind about Ravage! He is more than just an animal you absolute ass of a mech! Would you care to be called brutish and animalistic without thought or reason! How about I take that high and mighty head of yours as shove it up you-" Ravage had quickly cut you off. Gathering you up by the fabric of your shirt and carrying you not to unlike the kittens on earth.

"You don't need to do that for me." He told you when he had reached your habsuit. "I could handle it myself." You shook your head. Face still flushed. Whether it was from anger yet to leave or you were embarrassed to be carried like that he didn't know.

"Ravage you shouldn't have to. There are people who care about you. Megatron." You had hesitated. "I care." Your fingers bunched up the hem of your shirt. "I care about you quite a bit."

He stared at you. Didn't speak as he mulled over your words. Perhaps a bit to long as he watched your face fall. Cheeks flush. You hands shake.

"Out of all the mechs and femmes. All the species I have met in my lifetime. You. You didn't treat me like I was an animal. Why?" Your face scrunched. He always that it sweet that. That little look on your face when you were confused or thinking.

"I. What? Ravage. Why would I treat you any differently?" You places your servo on the side of his muzzle. Your warmth seeped into him. "You speak like me. You think. You feel. I've seen you grieve and be homesick for Soundwave. Ravage you have kept me safe and made me happy. Why would I treat you like you were some. Some."

"Animal?" He finished. His nosed at the top of your head. Breathing I the scent of the soaps you used. Sweet and fruity. "Because I am. In body. In instinct." You laughed and he pulled back.

"Technically speaking. So am I." Slowly. Carefully you placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. Standing on tip toe to reach him.

"I came here. I saw all of them. And I fell for you, Ravage. Only you." His spark thundered at that confession.

He wrapped himself around you.

"Maybe I have to." He couldn't admit it. No yet. It would make it to real. To tangible. To easy to touch and break. Let him feel for a while.

He thought you look satisfied with that answer. Choosing to curl up with him on the carpet of your habsuit. Pulling a heavy blanket over the two of you.

Let him pretend. Let him pretend that in this moment there is no chance of loosing you. Of him being. Him.

#maccadam #transformers #mtmte ravage #ravage x reader #i tried lol

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inexplicifics · 4 years ago

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on progress, geralt will certainly find talented, loyal, and fearless members for his court. but upon living at KM, there must be growing pains: the cold, the stairs, the lack of privacy, the need to make new friends, homesickness. all things one CAN moves past, but rarely without crying SOMETIMES. how do witchers react?

Oooh. Hm.

Bianka sits down on the hard stone steps and buries her face in her hands, trying hard to muffle her sobs. It's so cold and she doesn't know anyone and she's lost and she's going to disgrace herself and be sent home -

"Hey," someone says, and she looks up to find that her terrible day has just gotten worse: there's a Witcher crouched in front of her, two steps down, and he'll surely tell the Wolf she's not strong enough, not capable enough to be here, and - and -

"Hey now," the Witcher says, eyes going wide. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"N-no," Bianka sniffles.

"Right, good, not hurt is good," the Witcher says. "Uh. D'you - can I - can I help at all?"

Bianka swipes at her wet cheeks and shivers as someone opens a door somewhere and a chilly gust sweeps up the stairway. The Witcher frowns and tugs off his own jacket, draping it around her shoulders. It's much too large and very warm, and Bianka huddles into it with a little gasp of relief.

"That's better," the Witcher says, and sits down next to her on the steps. "Right, so, really, what's the matter? If someone said something mean to you I'll punch 'em for you. Oh - I'm Byrtel."

"Bianka of Mirthe," Bianka says, offering a hand. Byrtel takes it rather awkwardly, like he's not sure what the polite response is, and gives it a little shake. "And no, no one has been rude to me; everyone has been very polite, really."

"Well, that's good," Byrtel says, grinning. He's a tall man, and lanky, with messy brown hair and a lopsided smile, and Witcher-gold eyes with laugh-wrinkles at their corners. His medallion shows a crane's head and wings. He looks maybe five or six years older than Bianka is, which probably means he's at least that many decades her senior. "So what is troubling you, Bianka of Mirthe?"

Bianka flushes. One of the points most heavily emphasized in the pamphlet Consort Jaskier and Lady Oliwia gave the new inhabitants of Kaer Morhen was the absolute necessity of never lying to a Witcher. But her troubles seem so small, so petty. "I - I'm lost," she says at last in a very small voice. "And I'm lonely."

Byrtel's eyebrows go up. "Well," he says, "Those're pretty fair problems. I cried for days when I got brought to the Cranes' keep, years ago, and I sure as hell didn't leave as much behind as you did."

"I don't regret it!" Bianka says hastily. "I don't want to be sent back!"

"Nah, 'course not," Byrtel says calmly. "It's just a lot, coming here. Was for us too, you know. So many other Schools, so many humans - hells, just adjusting to Jaskier was a hell of a thing. Cry yourself out, no point holding it in."

Bianka sniffles again, and fishes a handkerchief out of her sleeve to blow her nose and dry her eyes. "I think I may be done for now, but thank you."

"Alright," Byrtel says, nudging his shoulder gently against hers. "Let's problem-solve, then. Where were you trying to go?"

"My rooms, to change for supper."

"Right, then, we've got you all in the same wing, I bet I can get you pretty close," he says, rising and offering her a hand up. "And - aren't you one of the lasses our lovely Livi is going to have organizing the Schools' records?"

"I am," Bianka says, taking his hand and letting him pull her effortlessly to her feet.

"Well then, come and have supper with the Cranes," Byrtel offers. "And if you like us, you can work on our records. We've got a lot. Mostly of what sort of explosions we've caused, admittedly, but still."

Bianka's always been more fascinated by how things work than is really appropriate for a noble lady. What she's seen thus far of the Cranes' contraptions has been utterly intriguing. And now she's being offered the chance to see their records?

"I would like that very much," she says.

"Great!" Byrtel says, and leads the way down the stairs, hand still clasped around hers. "And we should come up with some way to keep you warm, too - I bet it's a lot warmer down in Temeria, no wonder you're freezing - some sort of personal heating device, maybe? Though we'd have to figure out how to keep it from burning you, or keep you from having to lug around a pot of coals all day - maybe something with barghest bile, that burns for a long time -"

Bianka giggles, thoroughly distracted from her tears, and makes a mental note to find a folding slate like the one Consort Jaskier carries. She'll be needing one, if the rest of the Cranes are anything like Byrtel.

#questions answered #accidental warlord au

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anxiousstark · 4 years ago

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The Aura Painter | DOB

Painter! Dylan x Princess!Reader

Word Count: 12K (12.057)

Warnings: Mentions of sexism, masturbation (mutual or solo), unprotected sex (this is a fic, be safe), cum play, breeding kink, filthy tbh, some cliché romance scenes. This is my second time writing ‘smut’. But this is the first time writing something so long and so filthy, bear with me.

A/N: This is an idea that I’ve had in mind for so long. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed imagining it. And of course, writing it. If you do, please give it some love and share it. The biggest solo piece I’ve ever written!

BIG MASTERLIST | KO-FI

Words you must know for the fic:

Onism (n.) the awarness of how little of the world you will experience.

Heriaeth (n.) a homesickness for a home to which you canot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning. the grief of lost places of your past.

Elysian (adj.) beautiful or creative; divinely inspired; peaceful and perfect.

The droplets of rain fell against the glass, leaving a trail which I followed with my gaze. The glistening tear of water disappeared before I could place my finger against the window and imitate that I could command its movement.

The sky seemed to cry, turning a darker shade. Perhaps the sky had lost a lover or perhaps, the one they loved was far from its reach. I could not tell as I never experienced one of those stories.

The books I had to read as a child were those who would teach me how to act and think. But those I read on the confines of my room when everyone was sleeping were different. Those told the story of a beautiful lady who wished to be rescued by a gentleman. I would try not to squeal under my blanket, as that was something, a lady of a high position should not do.

I glanced at the sky again as it screamed, lightly swaying the trees outside while his droplets of tears wetted everything under itself.

"M'lady," I corrected my form, trying to look as straight as possible. Turning around, I glimpsed directly into a pair of green eyes that seemed to lose their brightness as the seasons passed. Those eyes used to be the brightest ones in this palace, but now they were almost colourless, decorated by a couple of wrinkles. "Your mother is asking for your presence at her table."

That was unusual. My mother was a sophisticated distant woman who liked to spend time on her own. Hence, she tried to escape from her responsibilities as a Queen while having breakfast by herself. She would relax outside in the gardens. A small white table filled with her preferred meals, and even if she sought to convince herself, and lie to me about her drink being just a mere juice, everyone knew it wasn't.

"Tell me, Harold," While walking through the corridors of the palace, I noticed once again the monotony. The clicking of my heels appeared to be the only sound, except the melody of the rain falling against hard surfaces. "Did the Queen seem mad?"

Harold tried not to chuckle, knowing that if my parents or any of my siblings were near, he would end up getting struck by executing such a natural gesture. "I must say that the Queen did not ask for the cello man to accompany her this morning with some music."

I gasped, glancing at him to discern if he was teasing me. Harold had been in our family for so many years. I dare to say that he was in this palace before anyone else.

"She must be quite mad, then." I bit my lower lip, trying to think what of the things I have done could have gotten her mad, and how she had discovered them. "Perhaps she found the romance novels hidden in my room?" I muttered to myself.

"M'lady," Harold opened the door to the great hall. "She preferred to eat her breakfast in here as it is raining cats and dogs outside." He whispered, letting me walk in first. I silently nodded my head, wandering closer to my mother, who was sitting on the farthest place even though she was on her own. "My Queen. The young Lady has arrived. If my services are required, I will be waiting outside to escort the young Lady back to her room."

I shivered as soon as Harold left the room, wishing he could have stayed with me. But of course, he did not deserve the wrath of my mother. While walking closer to her, my clicking heels seemed to resemble the countdown of a bomb that would explode shortly.

"Take a seat, my darling," She demanded as soon as I was close to her. I swallowed, swiftly grabbing the skirts of my dress. I sat down on the white chair in front of her. She coughed. "Someone quite similar to the young Lady of the palace has been seen on the street market." A newspaper was placed on top of the table, facing me.

I swallowed one more time. "Must be someone who resembles me." I attempted to sound confident. "I am afraid that happened on Friday, and I take piano, courtesy and manner classes that day."

"Tell me, darling," She faked a smile. Her dark brown eyes, studying my position and expressions. "May I ask how you knew this happened on Friday as the article does not say something like that?"

"I-." Her stare became even more intimidating. "Guessed?" I squinted my eyes, perceiving that she would raise her voice to inhuman levels.

"Nor did you only skip your classes, you also lied and went outside on your own." Her tone was sharp. "Hideous things could have happened to you. Do you know what this could mean to your brother's throne?" Of course, this was about my dear brother. "The sister of the future King of Onism does not follow the rules of the palace. Then, what should they expect from their new King?"

"I did not do anything inappropriate, mother." I sighed, shifting my gaze to look at her directly. "I did not get in trouble, and as you can perceive, I am all right."

She rolled her eyes, which surprised me as she always claimed for that gesture not being refined. "And books," She pointed to one of the chairs, where I noticed all my favourite romance novels resting upon it. She had found them.

"May at least have some privacy in the confines of my bedroom?" I was mad, but raising my voice to her would get me in even more trouble. "Those," I referred to the pile of books that were my most precious property. "Those are mine."

"Not anymore," She got up, grabbing one of them and examining the title. "Romance novels? When will you understand that nothing like this happens in real life?"

I felt a little strength going through my body. "That book, in particular, describes the love story of the author! It is a romance that happened to her in real life. It is not fiction."

"But that woman was not a princess, was she?" I shook my head as she waited for my answer. "However, you are one. Even if you do not have anything to do with the future throne of Onism, your brother does, and you must behave like a princess." She walked closer to the fireplace. My eyes widened, and I gasped loudly. "You are a woman and a princess. The only thing you must worry about is making your future husband happy while following his rules, even if you do not love him." She opened the book, her skinny finger ripping some of the pages, and in the process, shattering my heart. "You will get married to someone you do not love, just to unite two countries." She let the book slip from her fingers. Falling to the fire, and burning as much as my eyes were burning due to the tears. "Stop filling your head with stories that will never happen to you. You are dismissed."

I got up from the chair, slightly glancing at the pile of books. I knew they would end up in the fireplace, slowly burning. I bowed my head. "I apologize, mother." She made a gesture with her hand, instructing me to leave the great hall.

My head was down as I walked to the door, wishing to exit the room and rant to Harold. "Wait," The voice of my mother interrupted my walk. "Get prepared as in two hours a man will come to paint a portrait of you. We will send the portraits to different future Kings of other countries that have shown interest in courting you."

"Yes, mother." I could not argue.

As I came out of the room, I noticed Harold's gaze fixed on me. I shook my head, letting him accompany me to my chambers. While walking through the long corridors, I glanced outside the windows. I reminded myself that I would never dance under the rain with someone while we laugh and kiss. I will never be caressed with love. I will only be touched with the purpose of bringing an heir to someone. An heir that would have to live the same dull life as me.

Going inside my bedroom, Harold bowed his head while he walked away. However, three ladies that worked in the palace entered my room, ready to assist me. I could not even take a bath on my own, nor could I dress by myself as the three of them did it for me.

"The painter will be here soon, ma'am," Rosetta informed, deciding to stay in the room as a lady should not be alone in a room with a man who is not her beloved husband. "He is a painter from town, said to have a gift."

"Is he quite known?" I asked to continue the conversation as I did not want to be rude. Nonetheless, the image of my books burning was the only thing in my mind.

"He is known in town for doing amazing portraits in exchange for food and a place to live." My curiosity peaked at the comment. "Royals are quite interested in getting their portraits done by him. Though, he had denied their offers." I looked at her with confusion. "He does not want to be related to any royalty member." I nodded my head, understanding why he did not want that.

There were two knocks on the door, indicating that the painter was here. I was quite surprised as my mother wanted the portrait to be painted in my private chambers. "Please, come inside."

When the door opened, a tall man came inside. He was probably around 5' 10". Wide shoulders that were covered by dark brown clothes. It seemed to be his best attire. Even though you could see the cheap fabric, and how he had tried to cover some holes and get rid of some stains. He had tried to gel his hair back. At first, I thought his hair was black until a streak of light fell on him, and I discerned it was a little lighter than that.

His light brown eyes fell on me, and studying them in-depth, I noticed that they resembled to be hazel. He bowed his head. "Uhm, it is a pleasure to meet you, Princess. I am here to-."

I offered him a smile. "Welcome to the palace," I bowed my head a little, which seemed to surprise him. "Please, do not call me Princess. It is fine to call me Lady." I gestured to one of the chairs in my room. "Please take a seat. It must have been a bumpy ride to the palace."

While sitting down, he nodded his head. There was a big black binder between his hands. Noticing my gaze on it, he quickly opened it, showing different canvas. "I can make different types of portraits. I thought I should bring some examples for the Pri-, Lady to choose the one she fancies the most." He stretched his arm, providing his drawings for me to look at them.

"May I ask for your name, sir?" My eyes focused on his drawings, understanding why everyone wanted to get their portrait done by the young man.

"My family name is O'Brien, while my name is Dylan, my Lady."

I nodded my head while still focused on his magnificent paintings. However, one in particular seemed to grab my full attention. It was the portrait of an elder, who appeared to be looking deep into me. He was skinny, and by his clothes, I could tell he was poor. He was sitting on a chair, and I almost gasped when I discerned that he had a missing leg. His expression was warm, a gorgeous smile decorating his face. Though, you could see that he had missing teeth.

"Did you find any equivalent style to what you desire?" His soft voice snapped me from my thoughts.

"May I ask?" I turned the portrait around, giving it back. His eyes examined the elder he had drawn. "Why is he smiling, but there are shadows around him?" I had noticed that the elder was smiling. However, black and grey adumbrations were around his figure. Some resembled horrible monsters. Especially a grey shadow that resembled a demon, resting upon his head.

He chuckled. "Those are the ones people in town ask the most." He glanced at me. "I draw their exterior as they want other people to see them. But then, around them, I draw what I can perceive or what I learnt about them." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sadly, this man passed away a couple of weeks ago due to a cold." He licked his bottom lip. "He had offered me a home for a couple of days, and of course, he had proposed food in exchange for a portrait. Those days, I learnt many things while listening to his stories. I noticed that the man was attempting to look happy for his sick wife, whom he loved with his entire soul."

I fidgeted on my seat. "What happened, then?" I curiously asked, making him grin.

"He was not happy. He was afraid of losing the love of his life because death had knocked a couple of times on their door." He glanced at the painting. "Their children had married to people in higher positions, ignoring the elderly couple and not helping them with medicines. He was 87 years old, working in the town market. He was selling vegetables that he was cultivating by himself." He decided to continue as he saw that I was expectant of knowing more. "He never lost the smile for anyone, even if people did not treat him right. And of course, when arriving at his house, he would maintain the smile for his wife."

"Then," I tried to hide my teary eyes. "Those dark shadows..."

"Those are the monsters he tried to hide, but that I got to meet. The fear of losing his wife, the frightening feeling of wanting to end his own life, the fear of not having money to pay for his wife medicines, and so much more."

"And what happened to them?" Rosetta coughed, indicating me to fix my posture, and I quickly did, which made him furrow his eyebrows.

"As I said, one of his biggest fears was that they did not have enough money to pay for his wife's medicines." He peeped at the ground for mere seconds. "She died in her sleep. Her body could not hold the pain anymore, and she faded away."

"What about the old man?"

He nodded his head, his gaze shifting to the portrait. "He passed away in his sleep too. There was a smile in his face."

I blinked, affected by the grievous story of those who had to fight to survive. "I want one of those!" Both Rosetta and Dylan looked at me with surprised expressions decorating their faces. "I would like one of those portraits."

"My Lady, I'm sorry to intervene on matters that I should not. But I do not think the Queen will like such a portrait to be sent to those who are interested in courting you." She was right.

"She will not look at the portrait. Harold will be the one sending them." I affirmed, knowing that my mother would not dirty her hands for anything.

"It could get the young man in trouble, my Lady."

I glance at the man, who was looking at Rosetta until his eyes met mine. "Yes," I smiled, even though I was upset. "You are right. Then," I studied a portrait, a simple one. "I would like this one." Dylan nodded his head.

"It would take a couple of days to finish it. But I will be staying in the palace for the time being." He informed. "Is there any time of the day where you prefer to spend your time just standing in front of me?" He blushed a little. "Just for the portrait, of course."

"Tuesdays and Fridays I must spend receiving 'Lady classes'. The rest of the days and hours, I will be in here." I sighed, offering him another smile. "Did they give you directions for the room where you will stay?" Nodding his head, he showed me a piece of paper with some important directions to places of the palace that he could visit. "Your bedroom is at the end of this corridor. You are lucky as it is empty, except for me and Harold's room." Of course, he had met Harold already. "I must warn you not to leave your room after 11 pm as there are guards everywhere." I got up from my chair. "Rosetta," I pointed at her. "She will bring every meal to your room. Do not hesitate if you need to ask them something. There are a bathroom and a study in your chambers."

Before he could answer, the door of my chambers opened. A broad man stumbled in with decisive steps, and fury adorning his face. I gulped, stepping back before I could hold myself.

The man threw a newspaper at me, hitting my chest. Glancing at the floor, I witnessed the same newspaper my mother had been holding a couple of minutes ago. "Again?" His voice was sharp. "Did you escape again to buy those stupid books?" I shook my head. "Oh, yes, you did. Mother told me." His boots sounded like thunders as he walked closer. "I do not desire to hear any rumour of how my sister is not acting like a lady." My brother Evans glared at me. "If my future in the throne is affected by your stupid imagination and ambitions, I swear I will do whatever I must do for you to learn your lesson."

"I am s-."

"Do not you dare speak back to me!" He screamed. His gaze shifted to Dylan, who was standing too, eyes widened and what seemed anger decorating his face. "Are you the painter?" He nodded his head. "Try to make her attractive in the portrait. Hopefully, some rich soon-to-be King from another country will want to marry her." He peered at me. "Luckily, he will know when a woman needs a genuine beating to act like a lady or a wife." Those were his final words as he left the room. I finally could breathe.

"Uhm," My legs shook, and I attempted to hide it. "As I said before if you need anything, do not hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, my Lady." He got up from his chair, clutching his paintings. "Is it all right to start with the portrait tomorrow morning?" I nodded my head, wishing him goodnight as he left my bedroom.

"Rosetta," Her hands were behind her back, respectfully. "Tell Harold that I demanded not to be disturbed tonight. Not even for dinner." She nodded her head, bowing and leaving me on my own.

I sighed, wandering closer to a full-body mirror that decorated one of my walls. The moment I feared the most was getting closer. I would marry someone whom I do not love. I would marry someone whose eyes would not hold back from gawking at other women. And with those thoughts in mind, I went to sleep.

The following day, I decided to have breakfast and lunch in my chambers, not wanting to face my mother or my older brother. I had convinced Harold to stay outside my room, wanting to be on my own with Dylan. I thought that I would feel more comfortable if I didn't have someone constantly checking my posture or warning me of what should not say. Moreover, I also believed that a painter needed his privacy to reflect his art on a canvas.

I was stunned toward the bright day outside. Looking out of the window, I saw my little siblings running around the garden as some servants followed them. They were probably making their job even more complicated. Alexander and Victoria were quite the troublemakers. However, I was thrilled for them as they would not have to follow such strict indications, as to the ones I had to obey.

"Are those your siblings, my Lady?" Scared by the prompt presence, I turned around. Dylan was standing there, holding a big canvas and a briefcase, which I assumed held his painting materials. "I apologize if I alarmed you. Harold permitted me to come inside."

I nodded my head. "Yes, they are twins." I offered him a smile as he grabbed a chair, placing it in front of me. I discerned that my back was resting against the wall, and I quickly moved to stand straight. "Oh, please, no." He extended his arm. "Would it be okay for you to go back to that position? The light was caressing the right side of your face. There was a beautiful contrast." I swallowed, nodding my head while resting my back against the wall. I heard him chuckle. "Please, do not worry. It is okay for you to blink, breathe or swallow. It is also okay for you to do light movements."

"May I talk?"

"I am not great at holding conversations, but I will try my best, my Lady." He placed the blank canvas on the easel. His hands worked fast while taking out his painting material from the briefcase. "If it is not rude," He swallowed, probably questioning himself if it was okay to continue speaking. "I have noticed some books lying under the bed," I glance at my bed. Noticing that some books could be seen, which meant he was good at observing and that I did not hide my books correctly. "What books do you read?"

"Well," I gulped. "I read books about manners a lady should have in front of males and for the table. I study geography too as I must know the rest of countries for future alliances, and-."

"I apologize, my Lady." He wetted his brush. "Perhaps I formed the question wrongly. I wanted to know which books you enjoy."

My mouth opened as no one has ever asked me such a question. "You will think I am a typical young girl."

"Cannot think like that, my Lady." He mixed some colours. His painting brush, caressing the canvas delicately. "You are not a typical young girl. You are the Princess of Onism." Though those words shattered my heart, he was right. I would never be a 'normal' girl as my life was nothing like the one of an ordinary lady. "However," He continued. "When you paint someone, you get to comprehend them deeply. I believe I might discover that you are an ordinary human at heart. Something beautiful that would separate you from cold-hearted royalty." I was surprised by his words as people would not dare to talk of royalty like that.

I offered him a smile. "You might." He got distracted for a couple of seconds. His eyes navigated from the canvas to me, trying to retain my features and the folds of my clothes. "Romance." I was flustered. "I do truly enjoy romance."

"I presume something you will experience as soon as these portraits are sent."

I shook my head. "Something I presume I will never experience." His eyebrows furrowed once again. "Royalty men have the right to choose whom they will marry, even if they do not love them. Women will have to accept whomever their parents choose for her." My gaze shifted to the window for a couple of seconds. "It is my destiny."

He stopped painting for mere seconds, staring at me while slowly blinking. "Destiny can be changed." I shook my head. "It can," He nodded his head. "It might be scary or go against the rules. But destiny can be changed by the decisions you make. Only you are the sailor of the ship." He grinned. "That is something my father used to say."

"Used?"

"He passed away." He gritted his teeth. "He was a great painter too. Better than me." To my curious gaze, he decided to continue. "My mother left when I was a baby. She fell in love with a younger man, leaving my dad and me." He gulped. "Therefore, I would not dare to say that I have seen love as my mother left without looking back."

"H-Have you experience love, sir?"

"Please, call me Dylan, my Lady." There was a comfortable silence between us as he seemed to be concentrating on the portrait. "Not sure I did. Love is not what is shown in books. Nonetheless, I would like it to be like that."

"I cannot agree or disagree." I offered a sad smile, trying to hide my tears. "May we take a rest?"

He glanced at the clock hanging on my wall, nodding his head. "I apologize, time went by so fast." He cleaned and placed his paints inside his briefcase. "Good night, my Lady." I bowed back to him as he closed the door.

I waited for a couple of minutes, opening the door and seeing Rosetta waiting there. "Where is Harold?" I glance around, hoping to see the grey-haired man.

"He had to take care of some issues." She replied, looking nervous. "Do you need anything, my Lady?"

I quickly nodded my head. "I expect no dinner today, and I demand to be left alone." She furrowed her eyebrows, and before she could speak back, I stopped her. "I would like to take my nightly bath on my own, please." She nodded her head, walking away after wishing me a good night.

I closed the door of my chambers, quickly locking it as I rapidly walked into my bathroom, doing the same thing to the door. Walking closer to the bath, I turned on the faucet. I checked the temperature of the water until it was lukewarm.

I sighed as my hands went to my back, untying my dress. As the clothes fell to the ground in a surprisingly elegant manner, I appreciated not being forced to wear a corset. My legs shook as I placed one inside the water until I was sitting down.

I have read in books how a woman and a man would fall in love. A passion that they could not resist. An absolute passion that would make their hands wander through their bodies, wanting to feel each other as close as possible. I have read it so many times that I could lie to my head, making it think that I have experienced something like that.

I have read the way hands seem to burn on the skin, and how breathing becomes more arduous. And how after being pleasured, you need it over, and over again.

I sighed, feeling my nipples hardening, and I learnt they could do so even if the temperature was not cold. My left hand gripped the edge of the bathtub as the right hand rested on my chest. I decided it was time to move it, and closing my eyes, I left it to wander down while grazing my nipples.

When my fingers caressed my tummy, they seemed to become shy. Not used to the places they were descending. I have read books, but I have never experienced the feeling, which made me feel curious.

I tried to remember all the books. My fingers ended up placed on top of my bundle of nerves, and just the mere touch made me shiver from excitement. I slowly moved them in circles, adding more pressure, little by little. The temperature down there seemed to get warmer to the point where it burned. I could not avoid the need to move my fingers faster.

My left hand continued to grip the edge of the bathtub, but this time harder as my mouth opened and my vision became blurry. I felt this strange sensation. I felt like I was going to urinate inside the warm water, and even though I felt quite disgusted by the thought, I could not stop my fingers. They moved in circles, faster and adding much more pressure.

And it came. A rush of pleasure came over my body, and I could not hold back the moans escaping my mouth as I peeped down between my legs. My intimate parts turned red due to temperature and agitation. Then, I regarded the water near it, looking less transparent. So that was it. That is what a woman felt after pleasuring herself.

Curiosity invaded me even more, and I wanted to experience more further.

A couple of days had gone by, and the portrait was already looking amazingly good. I did not have any doubt of Dylan's talent as I have seen some of his works.

"Has anyone shown you around?" We had got a little closer as we spent many hours together for the portrait. He shook his head, taking off his dark green beret, and resting it on a nearer seat as he proceeded to mix some colours. "Would you like to see the gardens and the horses?"

His eyes widened. "Horses, my Lady?" I chuckled at his expression, nodding my head.

"Eight to be exact." His eyes widened even more. I remembered everything he had told me about himself, especially his love for horses. "We could take a rest. I feel dizzy from the smell of paint." He promptly nodded his head, halting and resting his brush on top of an antique plate stuffed with remains of paint.

Strolling through the gardens, I peered at him. He seemed content, having the chance to smell the fresh air mingled with the scent of the white roses that decorated our gardens. "White roses are your favourites." He had surprised me while retrieving such a simple, but a unique fact about me.

I nodded my head. "I prefer them over red roses. Those are overrated." He laughed, making my heart beat loudly. Dylan was an attractive man, and these past days I could not stop my body and my heart from reacting as soon as my gaze met his. "The stables are over there." I pointed to a couple of meters away from us. I extracted my arm as I felt something falling on it. "Oh, it seems like it will start drizzling." We walked faster to the stables, almost running as the rain appeared to fall swiftly upon our clothes. "You will adore Arden. He is my hor-." I was interrupted as I saw two bodies stirring frantically against each other. Their moans, invading the stables. "Wh-." A hand covered my mouth while another dragged me off the stables. Dylan and I ran under the rain, getting as far as possible from the horses' house.

Both of us gawked at each other in astonishment. "Maybe my eyes deceived me. However, I believe that was Harold?" He seemed as shocked as me.

"They did not trick you." I gulped. "May I add that woman was my mother?"

His eyes widened even more. "T-The Queen?" I nodded my head. "I am so sorry, my Lady."

"I am not angered by the fact she was committing adultery! I know my father is no saint." I gritted my teeth. "I am mad by the fact she lives a miserable life. In which she had to marry a man she does not love, and she wants to impose the same duty on me!" My hands reached my hair, fingers clutching it. "It is not fair for her to desire the same dull and cruel life for me!" Dylan kept quiet, allowing me to rant. "Why must not I experience falling in love with someone? I crave to be touched by adoring hands, not dirty ones that will not care about my desires and will expect for an heir to be conceived." I sighed. "I ache to live that romance until the day I die." I let my posture fall, whining. "Why cannot I be kissed by someone truly interested in me? Why cannot I be touched by someone who desi-."

My speech was interrupted as Dylan's hands rested on my cheeks. His lips were tightly pressed against mine. I have read how a kiss was mostly controlled by the fight of tongues, aspiring to be the dominant one. But this was just a simplistic kiss.

"Oh my-." His eyes widened as my mouth fell open. "I apologize for my behaviour. I do not know what came over my mind for me to-." My hands were now covering his cheeks as I bought him closer. My lips were awkwardly pressed against his. He separated from me, blinking dumbfoundedly. "Close your eyes." I did. "Open your mouth a little, my Lady." His thumb drew my lower lip downwards. As he got closer, I felt his tongue stroking my bottom lip.

My hands were pushed against his chest as I gripped his white shirt between my fingers. One of his hands had to wander to my lower back as my legs shook. His tongue was now grinding against mine, and not knowing what to do, I mimicked his actions. My mouth instinctively melted against his.

"You will be the death of me, my Lady." He held me closer. His right hand, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Literally."

The following day, I walked to the great hall, confident enough not to knock on the door before stepping inside. My mother seemed shocked to be interrupted by my presence, as she gripped the teacup tighter.

Harold wandered behind me, fear written all over his features as he had never seen me disrespecting my mother in such a way.

I gestured for the cello man to leave the room, which he quickly did, not even daring to glance at my mother. "How dare you to come inside in such a-."

"I will not get married." I interrupted her, something I have never done before. I had been informed by my brother that there was a powerful candidate for me to marry. A 52-year-old man. "I will not marry someone I do not love, and even less a 52-year-old King just for our countries to be at peace."

"You have no say on it."

"Mother, do you want me to live the same life as you?" I ventured to ask. "Do you want me to marry a man who will sleep with every servant or woman that crosses his way while my future children will have to suffer the consequences too? A boy that ought to follow the rules of a King until he becomes a tyrant. And a girl who ought to have to act as demanded. Merely for the young male of the family to be even more respected?"

"As I sai-."

"Will I be like you then, mother?" My lower lip trembled. "Will I be cold-hearted towards my children, towards my daughter? Will I have to submit her to the same shameful life as me?" I did not let Harold intervene. "Will I have to close my eyes to true love and consume my infatuation with the person I truly love in some dirty stable?" Both of them were shocked by my words. "You are preparing and forcing me to the life you both have. I do not want to hide from the public eye and keep the person I cherish a secret."

"If this is about that paint-."

"He has nothing to do with this." I did not appreciate the way she spoke about Dylan. "I have openly expressed my discomfort about marrying someone I do not love since I recollect. I understand romance books do not happen in real life. But love does, and marrying someone for my brother's throne is not love." I sighed. "It is not fair for us, women, to be treated like this while men are approached like that!"

She surprisingly glanced at me for a couple of seconds before her sober expression appeared once again. "Every King marries the women they choose. We cannot decide. Every King has bastard children." I had to remind myself that Alexander and Victoria were the children of one of our servants. "Even your brother is going to have a bastard child." I furrowed my eyebrows as it was the first time hearing that news. "Rosetta." A disgusted expression decorated my face.

"Well," I breathed deeply. "Destiny can be changed." I recited the same words Dylan had told me once. "It might be scary or go against the rules. But destiny can be changed by the decisions you make. Only you are the sailor of the ship." I glimpse at Harold. "I am tired of not being the sailor of my ship." I softened my voice. "Think about it, mother. I will do everything in my power to get out of here, even if it means dying in the process." For the first time in my life, my teary eyes were met with the glistening tears that invaded my mother's eyes. "I will be in my chambers. Please do not bother me at all."

When arriving to my bedroom, I did not expect to see Dylan waiting inside. I locked the door behind me as my eyes examined his entire body.

"Are you all right, my Lady?" He showed the briefcase he was squeezing between his fingers. "Rosetta told me to wait here for you. Since we could not continue with the portrait this morning, I assumed that perhaps, we could tonight."

"Let's escape together." My mouth seemed to move on its own. However, Dylan stared at me with complete confusion decorating his features.

"My Lady, I do not think I understand what you are trying to imply." He knew.

"I have told you before I do not plan on marrying someone whom I do not love." I walked to my bed, sitting down on the mattress. "It has been decided without letting me know that I will get married to the King of Hiraeth."

He glanced down at the floor for a couple of seconds to later shift his gaze on my direction. "Perhaps he is not only a noble because of his blood. Perhaps he is also noble at heart."

"It does not matter if he is noble at heart or not," I answered decisively. "He is a 52 year-old-man! And as I said before, someone I do not love!"

He sighed. "My Lady," Resting his briefcase on the floor, he pulled a chair to sit in front of me. Though, he maintained the distance. "If I am not wrong, you have never met this man before. You might end up fallin-."

"Do not dare to say that!" I got up from the bed, eyes flickering. "Please, do not be like the rest of those who live in this palace! The first time you came here, you told me I could change my fate." He swallowed, nodding his head. "That is what I am trying to do." My hands were squeezing the skirts of my dress. "Please."

"I cannot take you anywhere, my Lady. You are the Princess of Onism. Everyone in town knows the beauty you behold." He coughed while deeply looking into my eyes. "I do not know anyone that will keep the secret of you being in to-."

"You are not understanding me, Dylan." I tried to ignore the way his body shivered every time my tongue and lips worked together to create his name. "I know I told you that I have never experienced love." I bit my lower lip, taking a breath. "I only know what I have read in books." He nodded his head, waiting for me to continue. "But I understand my feelings. Even before the day we kissed under the rain, I was already attracted to you."

"Attraction is something that can be felt many-."

I stepped closer, making him glance up. "It was attraction, I admit." Both of my hands navigated towards my back. "But my heart beats madly, whenever you are near me, whenever I glance at you or when I think about you." He got up from his chair, slightly stepping back. "I am utterly sure that I am in love with a man who worries about me and my feelings. Someone who has been encouraging me and that has seen my fears."

"My Lady," He gulped. "I truly feel honoured to be inside your mind and heart. I will not lie as I do also feel the same towards you." When I moved closer, he prevented me. "But you are a Princess, and I am just a simple man who paints in exchange for food and a roof." He blinked fastly. "I cannot give you the life you might expect." He offered me a side-smile. "And of course, our relationship would not be approved by the King and Queen." His voice turned softer. "Neither by the soon-to-be King of Onism."

"I do not care!"

"But I do, my Lady." He breathed deeply. "I do not want you to live a life where people will insult and degrade you plainly because you married a penniless man, or because you did not obey the established rules of the members of the royalty."

"I already have that life, where I am discredited just because I am a woman." This time when I stepped closer, he did not back away. "I already have to follow settled rules for the sake of my brother." My hands were still behind my back, and I finally decided to let them untie. He did not notice yet. "But now I have found someone who makes me feel something I have never experienced before." I sighed. "What did you do to me, Dylan?" He opened his mouth. "My mind and heart are full of you, and they constantly demand my body to be filled by you too."

His neck and cheeks turned red as he seemed to have difficulties while swallowing his spit. His eyes shifted around the room, trying to decide what to do. "My Lady," He sighed in desperation. His hands travelling through his body while he clenched it and gritted his teeth. "I truly have been trying to hold back." His hands now grazed his face. "I have been trying to hide how in love I am with you as I am just someone who does not deserve you."

"You are the man who deserves me the most." The shoulders of my dress fell, displaying my bare skin. His eyes widened even more. "And you do not have to hold back anymore." Finally, the cloth fell onto the ground. "I have read so many things, but I have never thought of experiencing them." I felt embarrassed by revealing such a matter. "I could not hold my hands from exploring my body for the first time as your image was in my mind."

"You did?" I nodded my head. His eyes had never left mine, not even to peer at my underwear. A rush of confidence seemed to hasten through him as he walked to the door, securing it. "Show me." My expression must have confused him. "Show me how you did it."

It was my turn to gulp as I got on my mattress, lying down on my back. I was slightly sitting thanks to the pillow, which granted me to discern Dylan as he shuffled closer to the end of the bed.

My bralette was already off, but his eyes still fixed on mine. "You can look." As soon as those words came out of my mouth, his eyes glanced down at my chest. It seemed like he had complications breathing.

My hands gently travelled down, gripping the sides of my underwear and slowly bringing them down my legs. The chilly air was a contrast of temperature to my entire body. I shifted my legs to completely discard my panties, which ended up someplace on the ground.

I permitted my fingers to touch the bundle of nerves, suffering a chill through my body that reminded me of that time in the bathtub, or the following times where I could not restrain my needs. Rubbing on circles, my other hand went to my mouth, biting on it not to make any sound.

"That is how you did it?" I nodded my head. "Until you exploded?" Again, I acknowledged with my head. "My Lady. Has any man touch you in such a way?" Shaking my head, he offered me a smile. "May I be the first one to do so?" I nodded my head, which he did not seem to like. "Please, use your words."

"I do," I did not hesitate. "I do want to be touched by you, Dylan."

"I might die right now, my Lady." He wandered closer. His hands slowly discarded his dark blue beret. Then, his fingers rapidly unbuttoned his white shirt, which had some dark little stains due to his paintings. His body was fit, enough to make a woman drool. I must say, he seemed broader than what I have imagined. "Have you ever introduced your fingers inside?"

I shook my head.

I hear the sound of his shoes falling to the ground as he kneeled on the end of the bed. His right hand moved my left hand from my clit, leading it to his hair. "Hold on tight, my Lady." Not sure of his next actions, I shivered as his breath hit my heated core. His tongue peeked out from his mouth, gently grazing my centre.

I gripped his soft hair between my fingers, making his gaze shift to look deep into my eyes. His tongue lapped, adding pressure on my clit. I whined as his tender tongue left my core to slid down and up a couple of times, extending my wetness all over my intimate part.

I was utterly surprised when the tip of his tongue ended up inside me, and he seemed to noticed as he grounded it against my walls. His right hand slowly left my thigh, where his grip had been tough. "I will be gentle." His whispers were almost unnoticeable as my moans were louder, feeling one of his warm fingers getting coated by my juices as he introduced it, inside my vagina. "Does it feel good?" Without waiting for an answer, he started thrusting it. His lapping tongue and his thrusting finger, producing a drooling combination.

"Oh my god," The candles that were lit, and resting on the table next to my bed seemed to flatter by a scene hotter than their flames. "Faster, please." I must not lie. Introducing his second finger on me had provided a slight pain. But seconds later, it had been replaced by an unbelievable pleasure. "Please do not make me beg."

"I would like to see you beg, my Lady." His mouth had left my clit, chin dripping with my fluids. "I would love to see you beg under the light of the candles while no one else knows that you are getting the love and passion you deserve." His fingers made a wet sound when they left my insides. I could not help but whine as he got farther from my body but became expectant when his fingers played with his belt.

As soon as he slid his pants down his legs, I could not help but moan again. There was a bulge between his legs, and I could not help but get flustered thinking about having him inside me. However, I was quite worried about his size as he already seemed thick through his pants.

I remembered a scene from a book where this girl had her first experience with her childhood friend. They had become lovers and decided to consume their love on top of the counter of the protagonist's kitchen. Her description of the scene was incredibly detailed. And even though my body had become more heated while reading it, I could not help but be worried when she described the experience as feeling as if she was getting 'ripped', which was quite vulgar but exciting in an unusual way.

I had been distracted by my thoughts, as to when I realized my rounds, Dylan's member was finally free. It stood tall and thick against his stomach. He could not help but contain his grin as I gasped.

"I never-."

"I know, my Lady." His hands grabbed my ankles, calmly making their way to my thighs, which he squeezed while separating my legs even more. "I am utterly happy to be the first and only man to make love to you." Uh? "I will take care of you for the rest of my life." His eyes looked deep into mine, asking for permission for his next movements and actions. Of course, I nodded.

He grabbed his shaft, his hand circling it while he thrust into his clenched fist a couple of times. He left if free, spitting on his hand to later grab his member again, lubricating it.

"I am a little scared," I confessed, shifting my gaze to his face. "You are so thick and long. H-How is that supposed to fit inside-."

"We can stop if you want, my Lady." One of his thumbs caressed one of my thighs. "There is no rush and enough time to do this whenever you feel ready."

"I do want to do it! I am just a little scared." I gulped, glancing down at his member. "Could you maybe go slowly?"

He nodded his head, getting closer and placing a peck on my lips. "Whatever you wish for, my Lady." Asking for permission again, he waited until it was granted, for the tip of his member to graze the lips of my vagina. "Here I go." He started adding pressure. Until the entire tip was inside, making me gasp. "Sh, breathe." His right hand went to my tummy, caressing it. "We can go slower."

I nodded my head as I took deep breaths, ignoring the tears that were falling from the corner of my eyes. A couple of minutes went by when I decided that the pain had become a pleasure. I shifted my hips toward Dylan. I was right as there was only pleasure. "Dylan, please," I whined. "Please move."

His entire member was inside me, and Dylan's thrusts had become steady and swift. His mouth was travelling from my jaw to my lips, sometimes stopping to ask for my well-being.

One of his hands left my hips, going between our bodies as he started circling my clit, adding more pleasure. "Oh my gosh," I raised my voice, not being able to hold back the incredible feeling. "Lord, please go faster." I circled my legs around his hips, bringing him closer if it was possible. His member, hitting places that it could not reach before. Wails of satisfaction came out of my mouth. "Please, fuck me harder."

He seemed quite shocked by my choice of words as his eyes widened. But he had seemed to enjoy them too, as his thrusts became even faster and sloppier. "I will not last long." He groaned, not afraid of expressing his pleasure while his lips grazed my ear. "I have been dreaming of this for so long." His moans made my entire body shiver. His right hand, circling my clit even faster. "Please, my Lady. Tell me you are close. Please."

"I am!" I drowned my screams while biting his shoulder. "I am so close." His left hand travelled to my left nipple, toying with it. The different stimulations, getting me dizzy while my vision became blurry. And I came undone under Dylan's body.

Reading was nothing like experiencing it.

My breath was laborious. Dylan stayed inside, thrusting a couple of times more until he quickly came out, thrusting in his clenched fist. He was going to finish soon. His eyes, questioning where to explode. My hands went to my breasts, holding them together.

Dylan's eyes widened as he understood what I was implying. He moved, his hips getting closer as his dick ended up being embraced by my breasts. I held them in place while he thrust, moaning at the contact. His tip, hitting my chin and lower lip. He did not last much longer, exploding and cumming all over my chin and lower lip.

He gasped, our bodies full of sweat. "I made a mess. I am so sorry, my L-." My tongue peeked out of my mouth, licking some of the cum that was resting on my lower lip. "I-. Oh, gosh." His lips settled up against mine. His tongue, parting my lips so his tongue could slowly dance against mine. "Did it feel good?"

"It felt amazing." I was still trying to breathe at a regular pace.

He kissed my forehead, leaving the bed and wandering to the bathroom. His member was still lightly hard. But he quickly gave me the view of his butt.

When he came back, he was gripping a towel. Sitting on the side of the bed, he slowly cleaned his release from my chin and chest. Then, folding it, he cleaned between my legs. He was cautious, trying not to hurt me as my entire body was sensitive. Next, he discarded the towel.

His body fell on the bed next to mine. We both gazed into each other's eyes with foolish smiles decorating our faces. "I do not want to leave. But night curfew will be soon."

"I do not care." I wrapped my sore body against him, breathing in. "Stay here. Nobody will know. You can leave early in the morning." I did not notice I was pouting until his lips pecked mine. Then, the rest of the night was a cuddling blur as exhaustion took over our bodies.

Another couple of days had gone by, and it was nearly impossible to keep our hands for ourselves. Dylan had been sleeping in my chambers, which was difficult to hide. I had been ignoring my mother and Harold as much as possible. And thankfully, my brother was away in a political meeting with my father. We had also continued the portrait sessions, which sometimes ended with our bodies full of paint as we could not hold back for holding each other.

I must confess that there had been sexual escapes around the palace, which was a surprise, as we did not get caught yet. Momentarily, Dylan's boxers were around his ankles like his pants as I was grabbing the skirts of my dress.

My face and chest were pressed against the wall of a tiny room while he thrust in me from behind. "Ah, we will get caught." He whispered but did not stop his movements. "You are going to be the death of me, my Lady."

We had been walking around the castle until I could not hold back myself anymore. I took Dylan's hand, going inside a tiny room that, it is used, for cleaning materials. Therefore, we were fucking as fast as we could, aiming for a release. "Please, go deeper!"

"I believe I am as immersed as I can, my Lady." The sound of our skin slapping against each other turned both of us on even more.

We both were close to our release. But we were rudely interrupted by the door of the room opening, showing Rosetta and Harold, who stared at us with surprise written all over their faces.

Dylan quickly came out of me, pulling his boxers and pants up while I let the skirts of my dress fall.

"Harold," I started. "Please, do not say anything." My eyes begged. "Could you please give us five minutes and wait in my chambers?" Without saying anything, they closed the door. "Oh my god."

"It is okay, my Lady." Fear was visible in his face and voice.

I was baffled as when entering my chambers, my mother was there, next to Harold. He ignored my gaze, staring deep into Dylan's eyes.

"Mother-."

"I told you!" She did not hesitate to raise her voice. "I know you did not choose to be a princess, but this is what we have to deal with." I could not protest. "I am not trying to make you miserable. I was trying to avoid a situation like this where this young man," Surprisingly, she did not glare at the young man next to me, who was squeezing my hand. "And you will be in danger!" She sighed. "Imagine if it was your father or brother finding you two! They arrived early this morning!" I did not know about their arrival. "He would have killed him and make you watch." I gasped, getting teary. "I did not want you guys to end as I did."

"What?" I asked while being overwhelmed by confusion.

"Your mother," Harold decided to spoke as my mother had to seat on the end of my bed, trying to calm herself. "She fell in love with a servant of this palace, way before you were born." Dylan and I were pretty interested in the story. "You do not choose who you love, my Lady." He shifted his gaze between the two of us. "However, keeping such a secret was complicated. And eventually, someone found out." His hand rested on my mother's back. "Unfortunately, the one that discovered them passionately kissing in the gardens was your father." I gulped while swaying closer to Dylan, searching for his warmth. "He executed him right there, in front of your mother."

"Those white roses used to be red." My mother's voice shook while she referred to those planted in our garden. "It was so repulsive to see that his blood mattered nothing when for me mattered the world. He was my world." She offered us a sad smile. "No one mourned for his loss except me. His body was taken away by other servants in uncaring behaviour. His blood could not be seen, because it had splattered on the flowers that had the same tone." She wept, trying to breathe and calm herself to continue. "It was as if he had never existed. I thought I had gone crazy, and I had imagined the love and the man that I desired to have."

"Mother," My eyes were teary. "I am so sorry that happened to you, and now, I understand you tried to protect me." I glimpsed at Harold for a couple of seconds. "But this is just throwing me into a deeper hole. I will end up in a similar situation to yours, and my children will be doomed, to the same cruel fate." I was desperate. "Mother, destiny can be changed." Dylan was looking at me, a tiny smile on his face while he rubbed one of my freezing hands.

"I have seen you grow up," Harold intervened. "I have learnt every one of your moves, understanding when you wanted to cry or laugh." He grinned, crossing his arms. "Deep inside, I knew one day you would want to fight from the established and dull life you are supposed to live."

"He spoke to me." My mother continued. "Harold opened my eyes, and he taught me to perceive that you were falling in love with this young man." She bowed at Dylan, and he returned the same gesture. "And I perceived that this young man was falling in love with you too."

"Your father and brother lied of their whereabouts." Harold stepped closer. "They bought with them a visitor."

My mother shifted closer to us. "It is the King of Hiraeth." She gulped. "The 52 year-old-man that they expect to marry you with."

"No," I shook my head. "Please, mother." I could not stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. "Please, mother. Do not let them do that. Please. Please." Before I could fall to my knees, my mother held her hand up, offering me a brown bag.

"It is yours now." My mother replied, sliding the bag into my hands. "This will help both of you." Money, there was a lot of gold inside the bag. Dylan was looking inside the container with wide eyes as I did. "If I had stolen money from your father, he would have noticed. Therefore, I bargained my jewellery." Her hand unconsciously went to her neck, and I noticed her diamond necklace missing.

"Here," Harold extended his arm, offering us a piece of paper. Dylan clutched it. It was a map. "That black circle is your shared property. It is a near kingdom, not too far from here but enough for you two to be safe and not be recognized, as the Princess of Onism."

"What?" My mouth was agape.

"It is Elysian. It is a small town full of life, and it is secure." Harold explained with a smile. "It is your new home. The money will help you guys for a couple of years, but of course, my Lady, you will have to get used to a life without servants and luxuries. However, I do not have any doubt that you will be able to adapt to such a life."

"Then," I glanced at my mother. "You are helping me escape?"

"I am helping both of you leave." She cried. "I am helping you get out of the life you did not choose and the one you do not desire." I turned around to stare at Dylan, who had tears running down his cheeks while smiling at me. He shyly pecked my forehead. He wiped his tears while bowing again, staying in that position for a couple of seconds. "No, no, please stand up." He did. "We are family now. Please take care of my little girl."

"I will, your highness." His words sounded so confident that it made my heart beat violently.

"W-What about you two?" I glanced between them. "Are you coming with us?" I was expectant to hear their answer.

My mother shook her head. "We did change our destiny." She referred to the present situation. "Do not worry about us."

"But-."

"My Lady," Harold took me into his arms, embracing me. "Escaping is more complex for us. But do not worry, because we will end up getting away from here. One day, we will." He smiled at me. "For now, Arden is prepared to take you both far from Onism tonight."

I nodded my head. "Take care of my mother, and thank you for being like a father to me." After squeezing him, I quickly hugged my mother. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Before they left my room, my mum turned around. "Dylan is your name, right?" He nodded his head. "I viewed the portrait. It looks marvellous. Take it with you." He was perplexed. "The portrait was for the man that will marry her. That man is you, so that portrait belongs to you."

"I bought gifts!" I overheard two squeals, rolling my eyes with a foolish smile, adorning my features. Two tiny figures ran to the owner of the voice. "Perhaps you both only love me when I bring presents."

"Perhaps they do." I walked closer to the man, whose beautiful smile was aimed, at me. My right hand gripped his arm, a signal for him to lower his head so I could peck his lips. "Welcome home. I made your favourite dish." My lips had trapped his bottom one between mines for a couple of seconds, making him whine lowly.

He seemed to be dumbfounded while pecking my lips a couple of times until our children interrupted the moment with their excitement to know what their father had brought them. "Well," He chuckled. "I bought my little princess this!" He took a stuffed animal from his coffee-coloured bag. Charlotte squealed and giggled while running around the room with her new plaything. "And I bought my not-so-little prince," He remembered how our little boy did not want to be named as a child anymore. "This." He showed him a new brand book, which cover was of a dark blue with golden touches.

Thomas could not help but grin. "This book was printed a couple of days ago! Thank you so much, father!" He tightly hugged his dad. "Perhaps I could bring it with me to the Addington's home?" He could not help but jump around due to his excitement. "I believe Newt will love it too!"

Dylan nodded his head. "Take care fo your sister, please."

The Addington's were a young family of five that lived next door. We were constantly inviting each other over to our homes, wanting the kids to play together. We, the adults, were also mates. A couple of times, we babysit each other's kids to have privacy with our respective partners.

As soon as the kids were out of the door, Dylan's briefcase had fallen to the ground. He had been away for an entire week due to a commission of a portrait where he would earn a lot of money.

His hands were caressing my entire body as we both tried to make our way to our shared chamber, in hopes of continuing the passion there. "I have missed you so much, my Princess."

My fingers moved quickly, trying to untie the dress I was wearing. My hands were sweaty, and Dylan must have noticed as he ended up unlacing my attire. "I am not a Princess anymore."

He swallowed, eyes focused on my breasts as I was not wearing a bralette. Both of his warm hands slid up, cupping my bosom. His fingers grazed my nipples while his entire hands squeezed the rest. "You are right." His gaze shifted to my lips. "You are the queen of my heart now, my Lady." That name had stayed since the very beginning, and every time it came rolling gently out of his lips, my undergarments got drenched.

"I will explode right here, Dylan." I moaned as my hands were busy sliding down his pants while he worked on his jacket and shirt. "I have missed having you around. And being around you."

He groaned, slipping one of his hands behind my back as he squeezed my buttocks. I whined when he pinched it. "You seem to be so desperate for me."

"That smirk," I grinned while kissing his bottom lip. "Perhaps you are as desperate as me." I glanced down as I spotted his hard bulge against my front.

"I am not as needy as you are, my Lady." The last word was said sensually, making my legs shake.

"I am sure you are as needy as me, Sir." It was that word for him. I could feel the temperature of his body rising.

"What does my queen require from such a humble servant?" He acted while sprawling my body down on the bed. His hands, gripping the sides of my panties, bringing the down and discarding them. "Maybe she needs help down here?" One of his fingers ran up and down, collecting my fluids. He did not hesitate to bring that finger into his mouth, savouring it. "My Lady, perhaps I should confess that you taste like Heaven, itself."

His face leaned closer to my core, but I immediately stopped him. He glimpsed at me, confused. "I want to be the one giving you as much pleasure as possible." Sitting down on the bed, my hands pushed against his chest until he was the one lying on his back.

I questioned myself when he had taken his boxers off as his member sprang free, hitting his tummy. Pre-cum was decorating his pink tip while sometimes, you could see it palpitating as the veins were tightening.

My right hand started working immediately, grabbing his shaft while going up and down. I softly squeezed it as his arm rested on top of his forehead, blissfully. My thumb stayed on the tip, playing with the tiny drops of pre-cum.

"Gosh, are you an angel?" His words wavered as my left hand cupped his balls, lightly tugging on them. "My Lady, I need your mouth, please." I attended his demands, my left hand still playing with his balls.

However, my mouth was also sucking on the lowest part of his member. Licking my way up, my mouth embraced the tip of his dick. His hands went through my hair, settling on grasping it forcefully and guiding me down until his entire thick member was inside my mouth.

His moans got louder as his hips could not hold back, shifting upwards, choking me as his tip scraped the back of my throat. "My Lady." Glancing upwards, I could see the sweat falling down his forehead. His entire body was sweating, especially the part of his chest with a spot of hair.

I sucked harder, preventing my teeth from grazing his delicate member. "May I come inside your mouth, my Lady?" Humming against his dick, he seemed to understand my permission. A couple of hard thrusts that chocked me and he was cumming down my throat, spilling a big load. His breath was laborious as his hands caressed my hair back. "Please, ride me."

He whined when his member lost the warmth of my mouth as I shifted my body to position myself on top of him. My left hand was resting against his chest. My other hand, grabbing his still firm member. "May I?" He nodded his head. As soon as he was filling me up, both of us became a moaning mess. "Ah, I felt so empty without your dick inside me."

His hands instantly clutched my hips as he encouraged me to bounce on top him. "You look so ravishing while you bounce on my dick." I moaned, loving his dirty talk. "I could do this every day. I love how your breasts bounce while you are getting stretched by my dick." He gulped. "They have got even bigger after you had our beautiful children." His right hand slapped my ass. "Listen," I ceased my moans as I heard the slapping sounds of our skins. "You are so wet for me, my Lady. Your pussy demands to hold my dick."

Both of my hands were now resting against his chest. "I am going to explode." The hand that was on my ass moved to the front, flicking my clitoris. "You fill me up so good, Sir!"

"I will fill you even more soon." He groaned, sitting down so he could move me closer to my body. Our mouths, touching in an open kiss. "I am going to release my entire load inside you. I am going to impregnate you, my Lady." I moaned. "You want that, right?" His thrusts became sloppier and harder. "You want to get filled and carry another gorgeous baby." I nodded my head. "You are as irresistible while pregnant. The way you cannot keep your hands to yourself. The way your bosom gets even bigger."

"Please, fill me."

No more words needed to be said as our teeth clattered against each other, riding our highs together. My vision got blurry, and my moans louder as I felt all of his huge load filling me up. "Oh, fuck me, my Lady. You take my load so good." The rest was full of kisses and warm under the sheets. His member had softened inside me.

On one of the walls of our chambers, there was a portrait of my younger self. She resembled grave and upset. Her composture seemed forced, but around her body, there were flames. Sparks that represented the passion she badly wanted to share. The adventures she wanted to live. There was a yellow light, which seemed, to be connected to her heart.

Dylan had described a young lady who aspired to live a passionate life. A young woman whose heart and mind were full of hope.

There was a lovely detail on the portrait. On the wall behind the young girl, there was a mirror, where you could perceive a young Dylan, examining the woman before him with a peculiar shining light on his eyes. The identical light young Y/N had while looking at Dylan O'Brien, the humble painter who shared the 'fictional' love she always wanted to experience.The love they both found and fancied.

Yes, destiny could be changed.

Those who asked to be tagged. Thank you for showing interest:

@og-baby-ob14 - @sweetest-serpent01 - @tovvaa - @jazminebrightxx - @sonnydoesrandomshit - @badgyal-barbie - @trustfundparker - @blueraindrops

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smallrainclouds · 3 years ago

Text

Part five of marriage AU. Sorry for being gone for so long, I'm moving rn and my dog had to go the vet so I been busy. Hope you enjoy. Part six should out later this week.. net part will have more hypnos x reader.

🌙💤💤🌙

Time passed much quickly here. Almost too fast. Weeks had passed into a full month before You knew it.

Dusa came every other day to dust and You looked forward to your chats.

The library was coming together nicely. Even though You did have to read every scroll since no one, not even Nyx knew what they held.

Nyx had been surprised by how much there was. You thought you even saw the faintest of blush on her cheeks.

"I knew I had a big collection but I didn't realize how many I've picked over the years." Nyx murmured. "I was so busy raising several children along with Zagreus once he came later with Hypnos and his brother."

You also found out that Hypnos had way more siblings, way way more than you had sisters. But you haven't quite gotten the story about why he talked only about two of his brothers.

You peeked over the scroll you were reading in hopes that maybe somehow it had gotten smaller.

The pile still loomed threatenly the corner.

You tsk when you saw it was still the same as before.

Slowly, the gods and shades of the underworld were becoming friends of sorts.

Zagreus, much like Hypnos, had also become a regular to your library. Often with questions about your former home and any advice you may have.

You knew you weren't getting the full story of why he really wanted out but all in due time.

Charon, a god that Hermes often talked about, was nerve wracking to meet at first but he warmed up quickly to You when sharing stories of Hermes.

Nyx, even as your mother in law, had become someone who You looked forward to having the chats with. The both of you talked over the scrolls and you quite enjoyed the stories of her youth, the rare times she talked about it.

And there was Dusa, Achilles (even after that embarrassing day), even Cerberus would give you a small single wag in greeting.

And so many others. They felt more… honest. Your old home had rules and politics that you were never able to quite grasp.

You never felt right at home, with a different father than all of your sisters and a different power from all of them.

But they loved you and you loved them in return.

Homesick as you were, You were embarrassed to admit there was someone else on your mind.

Hypnos.

You haven't seen Hypnos since that night he slept in your bed. Not really anyway.

He came once a day for a few minutes, made a quick comment on the library or at Zagreus if the prince was going through the scrolls when he came in. But that's it. You felt almost like a pet that Hypnos just made sure was still alive before taking off to wherever.

You blinked at the scroll as you realized that you didn't read a single word. Your mind had drifted away from the scrolls and back to Hypnos.

Again.

🌙💤💤🌙

"Do you have anything on a thing called a Bone Hydra?" Zagreus had asked one day out of the blue, his desperation was clear in his voice.

You put down your tasks list to look at him. "I know what a hydra is but what do you mean by a bone hydra?"

Zagreus slumped, "It is this horrible thing that-"

"Didn't I already tell you what you needed to do?" Hypnos interrupted. "Just don't get hit or die!" He floated to the pile and plucked some scrolls from the top.

Zagreus sighed, "I know, I know. Don't die. It doesn't help as much as you think, Hypnos."

Hypnos dropped the scrolls on the table for you. Slowly but surely the piles had been going down. However, it was helpful to have someone who can easily get to the top.

"Maybe the issue is that you're not moving fast enough." Hypnos said.

"Yes, I am sure that is exactly why, Hypnos. Thank you, all my problems are now solved." Zagreus rolled his eyes.

"Fantastic! Glad to be of service!" Hypnos laughed.

You had to cover a smile before you looked back at Zagreus.

"Zagreus, if I find anything on this bone hydra you will be the first to know." You said.

"Y/N, you're being too kind to Zagreus. Like I said, just move faster."

You laughed at Zagreus' eye roll.

"So this is where you been hiding boy." Hades stepped in the room despite being almost too tall to do.

The energy in the room changed in a way you never felt before. The sheer anger that came from both father and son made the room feel so small.

All three of you stood but it was Hypnos who moved toward you. He blocked you from Hades' sight, his smile never leaving his face. But there was a tightness to his smile. You peeked around him, eyes focused on Zagreus and his father.

Zagreus scoffed, "Oh good Father you were able find the library, would you like some help reading or -"

"Watch your mouth, boy." Hades growled. Then he turned to look directly at you and Hypnos.

You tighten your hands, hoping your nervousness won't show.

"Y/N. Correct?" Hades asked but not in a way that was a question.

You pushed past Hypnos and You ignored his look, you did tell him you couldn't hide from Hades forever.

"Yes. It is a pleasure to meet you, Master Hades."

For a moment, no one said anything.

Then finally Hades spoke, "I heard from Nix about your work on the library."

"Yes, I have some experience with libraries and thank you for the opportunity." You replied, grateful that your voice stayed calm.

"Hmm." Hades looked around the library and You wanted to hide behind Hypnos but resisted the urge.

"Father, what is it that you want?" Zagreus sighed, "Can't you tell you are making everyone uncomfortable?"

Hades' eyes snapped back to Zagreus, "Silent! Your rudeness is what makes people uncomfortable."

Without taking his eyes off his son, Hades said to You. "Y/N, you may continue your work."

"Yes sir, t-thank you." You said, your heart racing, still not convinced father and son will start fighting in the library.

You felt Hypnos' hand on your back, warm and steady, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding in.

"Well!" Hypnos said cheerfully, "Y/N needs to get back to work and I know I certainly do."

Hades sighed, "Yes You do. In fact, Hypnos. I need to have a word with you. Alone."

Without waiting for Hypnos' agreement, Hades turned and walked off.

"I'm sorry about my Father." Zagreus' hands in

"No. It's fine. Went as well as it could have." You said, glad the whole event was over.

Zagreus murmured his excuses and quickly left the library.

A moment passed and you turned your head to look up at Hypnos, his hand still on your back.

"Thank you." You whispered, a blush on your cheeks.

"Oh, sure. Hades takes some getting used to." Hypnos grinned. "I've to go see what Hades wants from me."

"Are you okay with being alone with...him?" You asked. You would happily never share a room with Hades ever again, let alone a one on one meeting.

His hand moved away and you found yourself already missing the warmth.

"Of course, he loves my charming wit." Hypnos waved a hand in farewell.

You laughed and watched Hypnos floated off.

With a sigh, you fell into your chair. Not even the underworld gods were spared of politics and drama.

🌙💤💤🌙

"So- so could I ask you a question?" Dusa asked, her duster moved in quick, neat movements.

You pulled your eyes away from the new take list you made. Since the library was getting closer and closer to being done, you had thought about opening it up but there was still much to do. Also you weren't sure of the best to keep track of who borrowed what. And you still needed to ask Nix but you pushed the thoughts out.

"Of course, Dusa. Is there a scroll you're looking for?"

"Well, no. I wanted to ask… how did you and Hypnos meet? I wasn't aware he was seeing anyone let alone getting married." Dusa bit her lip, "But don't feel like you have to talk about it if you don't want to! I know it is not any of my business."

"No. No, it's fine. I didn't meet him until our wedding or at least I think so." You put down your quill. You couldn't help but feel like you met him before that but for the life of you, you couldn't remember. "It was an arranged marriage. I… I've been told he did a favor for my mother during a war, one she would have lost if not for him."

Dusa bobbed next to you, "I'm sorry. I don't know why people or gods act like their daughters are things to trade. It's like they don't even see their daughters as full people."

You blinked, surprised at Dusa's tone. But you smiled, liking the more fiery side of your friend.

"I don't know either. But at least he is kind to me. And he hasn't been pushy if you know what I mean or anything like that. It could have been worse."

"That's good!" Dusa sighed, "Hypnos and I don't exactly get along really but I'm glad to know he has been kind to you."

"You don't? Is there a reason?" You cupped your face in your hands, elbows eyes on Dusa.

Hypnos didn't talk about other people in the house, other than his mother and brother. You wanted to know more but couldn't get him to crack in the few minutes you saw him every day.

"Well I mean." Dusa paused as if trying to find the words. "He isn't mean but you can tell he doesn't care about his work. And he doesn't seem to understand why anyone else cares. He… I don't know. I'm making it sound worse than it is. I'm sorry, Y/N."

She bobbed again nervously. "He is a good guy! He and I just don't click at all."

You smiled even as a knot formed in your chest. Is that what Hades wanted with Hypnos a few weeks ago? Again you cursed yourself for not being able to get Hypnosis to talk to you.

"It's okay, Dusa. It is not a big deal."

After a few more minutes of chitchat, Dusa left, her duster still working madly.

You sat down and stared down at your list. The words might as well be scribbles for all of the sense it made to you.

With a sigh, you pushed away the papers. Why in the world do you care that Hypnos wouldn't talk to you? Or that you still didn't understand a bloody thing about the god.

Why do you care at all?

#hades hypnos #hypnos x reader #marriage au #tangled starlight

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

Text

Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Hi elliechan! I’ve already written friendship hcs for Venti but I never want to leave anyone hanging (unless the dupe request is incredible specific and I can’t add onto it anymore) so think of it as a part 2. But if you haven’t seen Part 1 yet, I added a link.

Also, I would like to credit fulltimeventisimp for helping me out with this fic. My monkey brain couldn’t think of anything for Venti but they gave me literally a fics worth of content. PLEASE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, MAKE IT AN ACTUAL FIC! I LOVED IT! I tried my best to not piggy back too hard off it but if it does seem that way, let me know and I’ll definitely change it.

But thank you 💕💕💕

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Part 1: Venti Frienship HCs

Xiao: Frienship HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten

Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Venti

The first time you met the bard, it was when you were visiting Mondstadt as a small pit stop. He was sat on top of some wooden boxes, next to an apple vendor, singing a short ballad. You’ve never encountered bards throughout your journey and he did have a lovely singing voice so you decided to stay a bit and listen in. It felt like the wind itself was carrying his voice throughout the streets but you couldn’t help but feel a bit...melancholy from his tune. Was it homesickness? You clapped with the crowd when the bard finished and on a whim, you decided to buy him a small bag of apples. He seemed to like them as he only asked the apple vendor to gift him two for his efforts. When you paid your purchase the bard seemed to be in a deep conversation with the same vendor that you didn’t want to disturb them, after all you weren’t going to be in Mondstadt for long. So you placed the small bag of apples beside the bard’s lyre with a quick thank you note, a couple extra coins, and continued on your journey.

You didn’t expect that small act of kindness would lead to anything but when you were preparing for bed, the same bard popped his head outside your window and almost gave you a heart attack. This bard was lucky he didn’t catch you while you were changing your clothes or else things might have turned ugly. He wanted to thank you for your generous donation which you simply waved off explaining that throughout your journey, you never met anyone that could sing quite like him. A small token of appreciation. Perhaps it was because you fed his ego too much or other reasons but that seemed to peak the bards interest and ask about what other fascinating places you’ve been too. You talked about the horrible mountain you needed to climb through to reach Mondstadt, the shining electro lamps of Inazuma that would spark if you got too close, to the clear pools and lotus heads in Liyue.

“You’ve been around all over the place! Perhaps you would allow me to write a ballad of your conquests?”

“Hm? Is that so? Why don’t you come with me? Go outside the walls of Mondstadt and explore. So you can write your own ballad instead of others.”

“Is this another acting whim of yours?”

“Haha, perhaps.”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t see the bard the next day. It was probably a lot to suddenly ask a stranger to drop everything and come with you to unknown places. But you decided to stay in Mondstadt for a short while and see what the City of Freedom had to offer. From meeting the supposed gliding champion and learning a few pointers, to the mysterious Calvary Captain who you were sure was probably the shadiest person you’ve ever met, to the aloof red headed tavern owner. You weren’t much of a drinker but everyone in Mondstadt, especially the knights, seemed to really enjoy their wine and were incredibly friendly to strangers. On the night you were planning to leave Mondstadt, the rowdy knights you’ve became friends with decided to celebrate and urge you to drink to your hearts content (please drink responsibly haha). You must have been a bit tipsy when you met the bard for a second time, introducing himself properly as Venti. You could blame it on the alcohol when you suddenly challenged him to a drinking contest but it was the most fun you had in a while. You were pretty sure everyone got kicked out but as you leaned against Venti absolutely hammered, laughing about the silliest things, it was the most freeing feeling you’ve ever felt.

From then on, even after you had left the City of Freedom, you could would randomly see Venti pop up sometimes. Should it be at Starsnatch Cliff or all the way in Wolvendom, you would see a few fluffy feathers appear as the bar- Venti announced his arrival. You were pretty sure Venti was bored whenever he visited you to see what you were up to but you didn’t mind. His liveliness nature was addicting and you were an easy going person. Though, some of the jokes he made, made you a bit suspicious of him. Whenever he would say that Andrius was secretly a grumpy mother hen or that Dvalin was actually a shy sweetheart.

“You sure do know a lot about Mondstadt. You sure you’re just a bard Venti?”

“Hmm, well it shouldn’t hurt to tell you. I am Barbatos. The Anemo Archon of Mondstadt. Pleasure to make your acquaintance..-again.”

“I see...and yet you still get ID checked?”

“Rude!”

Outside of Mondstadt, Venti is a whirlwind of emotions. Always wanting to see what’s changed or linking your hands and dragging you off to some far off chest he found. How did his small body have so much strength to nearly pop your arm out? He did come in handy during your Liyue expeditions since he can give you a small boost to just reach the top of that cliff. You thought violet grass was bad, it should be illegal for Qingxin flowers to grow on the very top of mountains. Venti thinks it’s really sweet that you put so much faith in his winds to let yourself fly when he uses his elemental skill. Though, it’s a bit of a double edged sword. When you finally reach the very top and you’re waiting for Venti to join you, he might pretend to loose control and throw himself off the cliff. You sometimes forget he’s literally the anemo archon and you’re ready to go gliding after him before he pops up in front of you to give you another scare. While he’s laughing, you’re already planning how to sneak slime condensate into his hat.

“You should have seen your face! I didn’t know you could scream like that! Liyue must think a banshee is haunting their mountains again!”

“Watch yourself gremlin, you might wake up without hands tomorrow.”

“Haha, you wouldn’t do that...right? How would you even do that? Why aren’t you saying anything?!”

“Isn’t there a saying in Liyue Venti? You can’t run from your debts? Prepare yourself.”

For as child-like Venti appears, you both end up getting into a bit of trouble when Venti get’s a bit too bold. While it’s incredibly refreshing to see someone speak their mind regardless of the consequences, you actually kind of admire him for that, usually the boldness comes from trying to bribe the bartender for free drinks. Your poor wallet is crying out every time Venti spots a new tavern. While he say’s he will pay you back or he’ll pay you back in a song, you can’t actually eat his words. But on other occasions you can’t help but join in when it happens to be one of the Fatui guards giving you both a hard time. You feel like you’re acting out a Shakespearian play with all the flowery nonsense and metaphors you’re both spitting out.

When you’re both in the thick of a forest or even on top of Liyue’s mountain, Venti will bring his lyre out and strum his strings softly as you both fall into a comfortable silence. Looking at the sunset or relaxing under the trees as the sun peaks through as you both live in the moment. It’s these times that you’re harshly reminded that Venti is an archon as he slips out of his persona and speaks as Barbatos. He tells you how fun your adventures have been, that he was glad to have made friends with you, speaking as if you’re about to die tomorrow. You’re not sure how to handle it, what kind of burden Venti is carrying, but you immediately drop everything and comfort him. Giving him a strong but warm hug that you’re still here and he’s not alone right now.

“Come on, I’m still waiting for the Ballad of Venti. You haven’t given up on that right?”

“Hmph, of course not. Every being deserves a name to be called upon, and woven into a song.”

Diluc

It was a peaceful day, one Diluc hadn’t felt in a long time in his hectic life. Though it was a bit too early to determine how the day would go since it was still noon. The tavern would soon get loud as it approached night but for now. Everything was peaceful. The sounds of Monstadt streets bustling. The peaceful atmosphere as the sun shone through the windows. Working on mundane tasks of wiping the counter down. No Kaeya in sight. A small moment of peace. All broken when his door was kicked nearly off its hinges as you announced your return from your shopping trip as if you had returned after a 3 year long journey. Diluc sighs under his breath, takes a moment to pray he doesn’t need to repair his door again, and helps you with your bags as you ramble about your day.

To others, it’s always seems a bit weird when they catch Diluc and you chatting since Diluc always gives off the lone wolf persona and yet you’re this ball of sunshine. Maybe it’s because you knew Diluc when he was a child, back when he was still bright-eyed, that you never treated him any differently when he came back. Diluc never really talks about it but he’s happy that you’re still the same and he can let himself relax with you. He still keeps his silent demeanor as he listens to you talk about anything and everything, it helps keeps his mind occupied, but he might add a few comments here and there. Just to let you know he’s still listening.

You know what sounds really hot? Sitting in the same room with someone while you both do your own respective thing. You both don’t feel forced to talk to each other just because you’re in the same room or you have to do everything together just because you’re together. It’s an easy atmosphere that settles as Diluc works on business papers and you’re planning your next expeditions. Until you end collapsing on his couch because your brain processing has suffered enough and it’s time to take a nap. You always end up dragging him out of his work to go outside and take a nice doze in the sun.

If you ever have a problem, he won’t necessarily coddle you unless it really bothers you or you’re in a situation where it could hurt you, but he’ll do everything to help you work through it. You’re his friend and if someone is giving you a hard time then he has no problem chasing them away, especially if its a Fatui member. If it happens to be Kaeya, well that’s an entirely different story. Likewise, if it appears to you that Diluc is going through a rough time you’ll try and comfort him. Do small little things to let him know that you care and while he doesn’t need to tell you what’s wrong, you’re here to support him.

Diluc enjoys playing chess against you, even if he wins most of the time, you’re always so determined that he can’t help but laugh along with your over reactions. Presenting him an entire 20 page paper on chess and yet getting checkmated in 10 turns. You’re 95% sure all the chess strategies he offered were all fake, if his smug grin is anything to go by. You both have agreed to never play darts together, well more specifically, you’re pretty sure you’re banned from playing darts when you almost hit Adelinde. That was the first time you ever genuinely feared for your life.

Whenever Diluc has to attend a gala or has to host a party to further his business, he’s always appreciative when you show up. You’re not exactly apart of royalty or even a business owner but it’s so refreshing to Diluc, after spending so much time keeping a polite attitude and trying to talk business, when he can come to you as you laugh about how one lady almost tripped because her dress was too long. Sometimes he’ll lean a bit on you or pretend to be in a conversation just so he can recharge.

More often then not, you’re mistaken to be Diluc partner even though the idea of holding Diluc’s hand makes you want to throw up. But when Diluc get’s random father’s trying to offer their daughter’s hands in marriage, he’ll pull the excuse he’s already with someone if they can’t no for an answer. It’s always funny to you, linking arms with Diluc and re-telling the grandiose story about how Diluc saved you from falling off a cliff when you were both younger and you were both star-crossed lovers that were destined to be together. Or something like that, you’re pretty sure you’ve changed the story enough times that you can’t keep track. But it seems to work and as soon as they are out of ear’s reach you make a quick gagging motion. He shoves you a bit to which you elbow him in the side. Old habits die hard.

---

I swear, I could probably recite character stories word for word at this point. Gripping my writing hand don’t make it angsty, don’t make it angsty, don’t fucking do it. But I still did, whoops.

I feel like my fics are really long so I’ll add a read more tag. Mmm writing styles are hard. I don’t know if I like this;; I ended up writing so much to try and combine my “hcs are just another word for fics just without the dialogue” and “actual headcanons” styles. Ahh, well whatever. I have to go speedrun my assignments since genshin is going to eat all my time this week.

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oswaldsleftbicep · 2 years ago

Note

Hello and a wonderful day,

I don't know why I am so cruel today but could you do a scenario where Mc breaks up with the brothers but just as a prank. I am just- curious and a rather good mood today🤷🏻‍♀️

the brothers + a gn!so who brings up ending their relationship

this is so mean,,,, i kinda love it >:) fr tho please don't do this to your real partners, it's cruel. i did end up changing this just a little bit cuz i personally think breaking up with someone as a joke is too much, so this is more like the reader brings up the idea of ending their relationship with the boys. so it's not really a prank, more like a very serious conversation that wasn't made to be taken all that serious? idk you'll see

genre: angst, hurt/comfort

cw: break up talks, arguments and confrontations, written portions, spoilers for levy's route, very long

Lucia

❧ you've been in nightmare for well over a year at this point and you're very happy with your decision to stay

❧ lucia got a little insecure the first few months after the red moon, worrying about if you were really ok with living in a completely foreign world, ok with him, but after reassurance from you he was able to see how happy you are

❧ and life was great with the two of you, you got along great and supported each other through everything

❧ however, there was one dinner party you and lucia attended that was hosted by a very close family friend, and she knew about your situation and what you gave up to stay with lucia

❧ she had asked you the rude question, "do you ever wonder what your life could have been if you just returned home? or have you ever wondered if lucia truly was the one and if you made a grave mistake? surely a month was too soon to decide these important things..."

❧ this made the two of you freeze up a bit; this was hardly a topic you discussed anymore, except maybe after a really bad dream or if you were incredibly homesick

❧ you were quick to laugh it off, although it was an uncomfortable laugh, explaining to the woman how you were quite sure about your decision and have no regrets whatsoever, reaffirming how lucia was the one and only person for you, in this world or your previous one

❧ something about your tone made her change subjects quickly, but that whole interaction was stuck on repeat in lucia's head for the next few days

❧ it was stuck in your head, too, but for different reasons

❧ lucia was starting to get that insecure and doubtful feeling he had when this all started; you on the other hand were just caught up in the what ifs

❧ so one night a few days after the dinner, you and lucia are getting ready for bed when you start the dreaded conversation

"hey, babe, can i talk to you about something?" you ask him

he hesitates for a half second before responding, "of course, anything."

you fiddle with the end of your night shirt for a bit, thinking about how to bring this up delicately. "well, i've been thinking about what that friend of yours was saying at the dinner a few days ago," you swallow before continuing, "what if i really did make a mistake?"

lucia feels his heart drop at that statement; you've finally voiced what he's been fearing deep down for all these months. his mind is racing, yet he can't seem to think of something, anything to say in response. he cautiously takes a seat on the bed next to where you're leaning up against a pile of pillows, "well, uhm... do you feel like you made a mistake?"

he holds his breath waiting for your response. your fingers have moved to picking at a loose thread on the duvet cover as you think deeply about what you feel.

"i don't think so? i mean, i do wonder what my life could have been if i went back, and," you take a quick breath and finish your sentence quietly, "sometimes i wonder if you were the right choice for me."

the room itself feels like it's holding its breath. everything is dead quiet while lucia processes what he's just heard come from the mouth of the love of his life.

"do you," he begins, but hesitates to continue, "do you think you made a mistake being with me?"

you whip your head toward him, looking at him shocked at what he's just asked. you try to tell him you don't think that in the slightest, but he just cuts you off.

"would you have rather chosen someone else? or have you just gotten tired of me by now?" his accusations hurt you, but nothing hurts more than seeing his state right now. you've never seen him look so insecure, tears beginning to pour down his face, he's hunched over, hands running through his hair leaving it a wild mess, his breathing is picking up and you're worried he's going to have a complete breakdown if you don't stop this soon.

"lucia, wait, that's not what i-" you begin, but he's quick to cut you off again.

"don't tell me it's one of the angels. you know what they're like, how could you fall for one of them?"

"lucia, listen!" you yell over him, finally getting him to stop talking as he looks at you with wide eyes. "enough of this, please! it's not like that, not in the slightest. why would you think these things?"

"you said you weren't sure about me, about us! how else was i supposed to take that?" he responds, raising his voice slightly. he's quiet for a few seconds as he catches his breath, then he asks in a quiet voice, "do you want to break up with me?"

you look at him shocked for a moment; you've never seen him like this. sure you've been there at some of his lowest points, but right now he appears more like a little kid than a future king. he's looking at you with wide, cautious eyes, head down slightly and shoulders up as if he's ready to duck and cover, face stained with tears and eyes red and puffy from his sobbing.

he takes your silence as a yes and it feels like the floor just came out from under him, like he could collapse at any second. all of his doubts in regards to your relationship were always about him and if he was the right choice for you. you are his whole world, nothing would be right without you, and to hear you turn his doubts into reality makes him want to give up on everything, right then and there.

"you dummy," you say to him in a soft tone, moving from your spot to wrap your arms around his sunken shoulders, holding him tight against you. "you are the most important person to me, why would i ever give that up? i didn't back then, and i wouldn't now. not for anything."

he lets your words sink in, and after a few seconds he turns to face you and hugs you back twice as hard. he buries his face into the crook of your neck and sobs, begging you not to leave him, to never do that to him again. you hold him close to you, running your hand through his hair and comforting him.

❧ so yeah his mind jumps to the idea that you would be having second thoughts about staying with him in nightmare, or even that you'd regret being with him in general

❧ when he gets insecure like that he jumps to conclusions, and when he bottles things up he's prone to breaking down, especially if it's an important matter

❧ you spend the rest of the night consoling him until he falls asleep; you'll save the rest of the conversation for the morning

Levy

❧ you already know how i'm gonna start this lmao

❧ so the two of you were reading next to each other, all comfy in your chairs and lost in a good story

❧ and it just so happens that in your book, two characters go through a pretty nasty break up with one another and it got you thinking a little bit

❧ your mind went back to any break ups you've previously gone through, whether it was with a partner or a close friend, whether it happened to you or you had to help someone get through one

❧ as someone who's been dumped two and a half times, it's not fun lol

❧ and naturally your mind started to drift toward the unthinkable: what would happen if you and levy ever ended things?

❧ the thought alone made you shudder; you and levy were practically soulmates, especially after all you went through to be with one another. would either one of you ever want it to be over?

❧ you've stopped paying attention to your book by now, and your eyes drift over to your loving boyfriend, admiring how engrossed he is in the book he chose for today

❧ you recognized the book, it's one he's read a few times before, so surely he wouldn't mind if you spoke your mind to him

❧ and man did you not waste a second getting to the point lmao

"hey, babe, do you think we'll ever break up?"

he flinches a bit, whether it's from the sudden noise or the question you aren't sure, and he whips his head toward you, eyes wide and a shocked expression on his face.

"um not if i can help it," he declares, sounding much like a proper victorian lady who was just asked something scandalous, "why the hell would you ask me something like that?"

you bite back a laugh at his reaction before continuing, "this book just got me thinking about break ups and, naturally, my mind drifted to us."

this didn't make him feel much better. "what do you mean 'naturally'? is there something wrong with us?" he asks, beginning to panic a bit.

"i mean think about it," you start, really not helping him calm down, "we've had a lot of rough patches in our relationship; any other couple would've broken things off by now."

"but we made it through all that," levy rushes to point out and defend your relationship. "besides, it's not like any of it was that bad, right?"

"babe, you committed treason against your own brother," you point out bluntly, "some may view that as pretty bad."

he sputters a bit, shocked by your audacity to bring that up. "i thought you said you had my back on that one! that all was forgiven and we could move on!" he sighs in exasperation. "where are you even going with this?"

"look, all i'm saying is that it's a miracle we've made it this far in our relationship," you state simply, lazily throwing your hands up in defense.

he pauses for a bit, taking in what you just said and praying that you weren't actually taking these thoughts seriously.

"have you ever, like, seriously thought about," he swallows and takes a deep breath before continuing, "breaking up with me?"

the way his voice cracks at the end of his question makes your heart drop and change your tone immediately.

"what? no, baby, of course not. i mean maybe things were a bit rough at the beginning but look at where we are now! i've never been happier."

"see, you say those things but keep bringing up the past and all my dumb mistakes. clearly they're still affecting your image of me, and maybe of our relationship?" he argues, becoming insecure of himself toward the end of his statement.

"levy, those things don't bother me anymore," you say trying to comfort him, "i know you've changed your ways and learned from your mistakes. none of that is who you are."

"i was only able to do those things because of you; you gave me a second chance," he goes quiet for a few seconds, "and i don't know where i'd be if you hadn't done that."

"in exile, probably," you joke, wincing lightly at the glare he sends you.

"exactly," he says with a harsh edge, "us breaking up would be very bad, so please, let's agree to never let that happen and move on with our day."

he turns back to his book, but you can tell he isn't paying attention to it anymore, your words circling his mind instead. you do feel bad now, his mistakes are a sensitive topic neither of you talk about much, and for you to bring them up out of nowhere on top of the idea of ending your relationship was too much for him to handle.

you set aside your own book and make your way closer to where levy is sitting. it's only when you gently touch his arm that he looks over at you, eyes filled with insecurity and conflicted thoughts.

"i didn't mean anything by that conversation, levy. the topic came up in my book and my mind couldn't help but wander," you drift off a little bit as you gauge his reaction so far. Once you see he's still listening you continue, "i don't hold your past against you, and i shouldn't have brought it up like that. i'm so grateful to be yours."

you notice his eyes start to tear up, but don't say anything as he quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

"it's alright," he says, trying to hide his voice beginning to get choked up, "just please don't do that again, you scared me."

you allow yourself to let out a small laugh at this. "sorry, hon, it won't happen again."

❧ this whole interaction does open the door for more serious conversations, mainly about insecurities and where you see your relationship going in the future

❧ but all of this can be had on a later day, for now you just focus on reassuring and loving your partner <3

Mefy

❧ ok so your situation was actually a joke

❧ mefy decided that he wanted to try and scare you, pull one of his pranks and give you a spook, nothing to harmful

❧ he had it all set up to happen at night, the atmosphere was super creepy, and he made things shift a little and made it seem like there were shadows moving around you

❧ he got the idea for all this from a couple scary movies you told him about

❧ and sure enough, you got pretty scared

❧ you tried to calm yourself down, brush it off as just your imagination, you even called out to him a couple times either to see if it was him or if he was available to help you, the latter made him feel a lil guilty ngl

❧ but he kept it going until he sneaks up behind you without a sound, grabs onto your shoulders and yells out

❧ this made you let out a little shriek and you dropped to the ground to get away from whatever scared you

❧ you look back up and see that it was your loving partner who scared the hell out of you, and he's currently laughing at your reaction <3

❧ after you get your heart back in your chest, you start to laugh along with him; you're used to his antics enough to no longer take them seriously

❧ but there was one thing about your reaction that was different, and he didn't like it at all

"geez, mefy," you say through a sigh of relief, smiling up at him, "you're lucky i don't break up with you for pulling that stuff."

mefy stopped laughing as soon as those words finished coming out of your mouth. you've never complained about the stunts he pulls on you, not even in the beginning. he knows you trust him not to do anything that'll harm you or make you actually upset, and he won't ever break that trust. but to hear you insinuate that you would break up with him over something like this? where did this come from?

you stare at mefy, confused as to why his demeanor completely changed. you've gotten better at reading him, but right now it seems all that progress has vanished. his eyes are completely blank and his expression is stoic; there's no way you're gonna be able to figure out what's on his mind unless you ask him.

"mefy?" you say in a quiet tone, not wanting to startle him.

he turns and walks away, not saying a word to you. your first thought is that this must be part of the prank, that it's not over yet and he just wants to freak you out some more. but his expression is still clear in your mind; his eyes didn't hold that usual spark of mischief. what had gone wrong?

by the time you snap out of your thoughts and decide to go after him, mefy seems to have vanished. you run in the direction he walked away, but you couldn't find a trace of him anywhere. he wasn't in any of the rooms down that hall, and he didn't somehow end up in his bedroom in the opposite direction from which he walked. mefy used to disappear like this a lot but hadn't done so since the two of you got close and became a couple, so what caused him to revert back to this behavior?

the only other place left to look was outside. it was late at night by now, cold and you weren't dressed appropriately to go outside, especially if you had to go into the woods, but you didn't care in this moment. mefy was gone and troubled about something, and you wanted nothing more than to be by his side.

you found a lantern and immediately ran outside to look for him, not caring that you were still wearing your slippers and robe. you checked around the courtyard and even the garden, but there was no sign of him.

"dammit, mefy," you mutter to yourself, "of course you'd go out there."

you walk over to the gates, noting how one of the doors is slightly ajar, and you cross over into the woods. you've gotten good at avoiding the creatures that lie within the wooded area, but you've always had someone with you. you're on your own now, and all you can do is hope mefy is close enough to rescue you if something happens.

you follow the familiar path and in record time reach the clearing the two of you so often visit. lo and behold, mefy is standing dead center, looking up at the sky as if it'll tell him the meaning of life.

you take a few steps forward before calling out to him, wanting to close the distance a bit in case he takes off again.

"there you are, i was looking everywhere for you," you say to him as you get closer. you take note of his thin clothes and your concern grows even more. "aren't you cold? why did you come all the way out here this late at night?"

he turns to you and almost looks startled for a second before his expression returns to the dead one he gave you earlier. he still hasn't said anything, he just stares at you as if he's trying to look into your head.

"mefy, come on, i followed you all the way out here," you start, beginning to lose your patience, "the least you can do is tell me why you decided to run here in the dead of night."

he stares for a few more seconds before finally speaking, "you want to break up with me."

"huh?" you exclaim, completely shocked at his blunt statement, "no i don't, where the heck did you get that one from?"

"you said it yourself earlier," he states plainly, his tone increasing in bitterness as he continues, "you told me i'm lucky that you haven't ended things yet. why don't you just get it over with if you really feel that way."

everything finally clicks in your head as you recall what you said to him. "oh, mefy," you reach out timidly to grab onto his hand, freezing when he takes a step back instead, "i didn't mean that. i don't want to break up with you; i don't even know why that was my response. i shouldn't have even joked about it."

you gauge his reaction, waiting to see if he'll accept this before continuing. his judgemental gaze is piercing through you stronger than ever.

"i know how you can feel... not special at times. and i know how you hate it when i bring that up," you hurriedly say, noting his glare at your first statement, "but you are so, so special to me. you're important, my whole world! i wouldn't give you up for anything, and i wouldn't even dream about breaking up with you."

his body language softens at your proclamation, allowing you to get closer to him and to finally grab his hand.

"i'm sorry, my love. i won't let anything like this happen again," you rub your thumb on the back of his hand, "will you forgive me?"

he scans your face one last time, sighing at your hopeful expression, "fine, i forgive you. just don't let me hear you say something like that again. i have my ways of knowing if you do."

his usual mischievous look returns and a devilish smirk grows on his face as he says that last bit, but all you can think about is that everything is okay between you two again, and the relief is enough to make your body slouch over.

"great, now can we go home? it's so cold out here, and you made me go through that forest all by myself! do you know how dangerous that is?" you chastise mindlessly, happy to have things back to how they were.

mefy chuckles at your antics, "i didn't make you do anything. following me out here was all your decision, darling."

❧ mefy leads you back through the forest safely, although he did choose to spook you a couple times just to see your reaction and get a laugh

❧ the two of you return to the bedroom and get ready for bed as you usually do

❧ as you get ready to finally drift off, you hear mefy say one last thing, "do not tell lucia about what happened tonight"

#my. hcs #this took so long to write lmao #i don't really like how mefy's turned out but i was running out of ideas aksbfjb #nightmare harem #nightmare harem lucia #nightmare harem levy #nightmare harem mefy #otome games

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ifmywishescametrue · 4 years ago

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and bc i have no self control. #41 kisses to shut them up for rhodeytony

So this one spiraled so quickly, because I also have no self control! And now it’s a 3.4k words of 5+1 for Rhodey and Tony’s first kisses together. Hope you like it :)

The first time is something of a joke. Tony is doing that rambling thing like always, hands moving around rapidly and coming dangerously close to smacking passersby in the face. He gets more than a few dirty looks for it, but he doesn’t seem to be noticing. Rhodey isn’t even sure what he’s ranting about anymore. Maybe one of his professors, or that annoying guy in his physics class. All he does know is that he wants to get to the cafeteria before they run out of pizza and Tony walks slow when he’s talking. So Rhodey grabs him by the wrist when his hand flies in front of him again, spinning him around and planting his lips firmly against Tony’s for just a moment. It does the job of stunning him into silence, but it also makes him freeze completely on the sidewalk. Rhodey keeps walking, and Tony has to run to catch back up.

“What was that for?” Tony asks, eyes wide.

Rhodey shrugs, “Had to shut you up somehow.”

Tony makes an offended squawking sound, hitting Rhodey with the too long sleeve of his sweatshirt. Rhodey’s sweatshirt, technically.

“That’s rude,” Tony says. “You’re getting me ice cream to make it up to me.”

Rhodey laughs, slinging his arm over Tony’s shoulders to pull him along. “Whatever you want, Tones.”

______________

If the first was a joke, the second is just the repeat performance. Between Rhodey’s basic training and Tony’s recent and sudden rise to CEO, it’s been almost three months since the last time they’ve seen each other. Basic has him questioning everything and feeling like a bit of failure. He should have been able to handle it better. The homesickness, the pressure, the constant grind of work. It’s been the dream for so long that he doesn’t know what to do with the feeling he has now.

“Maybe I should quit.”

Tony snorts inelegantly, “Pretty sure that’s called deserting and it’s a crime.”

“So I’ll go on the run,” Rhodey argues, like it’s a perfectly reasonable response. “I’ll move to Tahiti or Fiji or one of those other islands. Wait, you have a private island, right? I could go there, and if anyone comes for me, I’ll just take a rowboat out to sea, and they won’t have any jurisdiction on the water to arrest me. I’m pretty sure that’s a thing. Right? It’s -”

Tony’s lips are a little sticky from the beer he’s been drinking, and his hands are warm where they cup Rhodey’s cheeks. He doesn’t understand what’s happening or why, and at first he can’t think enough to react. When he can think again he can’t decide whether to push him off or kiss him back, and he still hasn’t reached a conclusion when Tony pulls away. He doesn’t know if it lasted two seconds or two minutes, and it’s confusing to realize that he isn’t sure which he would prefer.

“Wow, that is effective,” Tony grins. “Thought maybe it was just me it works on, but I should try that on board members sometime if it’s that good.”

Rhodey gapes at him when he connects the pieces. “Seriously, Tony? That happened two years ago, and I’m in the middle of a crisis right now.”

"No, you were spiralling and now you’re not," Tony says simply. "Situation resolved by not talking about it."

"That's not how that works."

"Of course it is. How do you think most fires get put out? By putting a lid on them until they die."

"Alright, ignoring that that's not even true, what the hell does it even mean?"

"It's very true, and what it means is that I have put a lid on this irrational fire, so it doesn't have the chance to spread and ignite the rest of your life. Containment, honeybear. It's about containment."

"That's a terrible analogy," Rhodey says, and Tony tosses his hands in the air.

"What do you want from me on the spot?"

They spend most of the night trying to come up with something better, laughing and drinking the rest of the beer in Tony's fridge, until Rhodey forgets that he was ever stressed in the first place.

______________

Their third kiss is an accident. It happens somewhere in between Rhodey deciding that he hates Tony's new boyfriend and him realizing exactly why that is.

He comes back from six months overseas, and it's a few days ahead of what he was expecting. He told Tony Thursday, but his plane touches down in California on Tuesday morning, and he gives the taxi driver Tony's address without a second thought. Tony likes surprises, and he has no reason to think this might be a bad one.

He uses his key to let himself in, fully knowing that Tony won't be awake yet to answer the door. The first traces of sun are just starting to filter in through the windows, and Rhodey sets his duffle bag down near the door before moving into the kitchen. Tony's refrigerator is nearly barren, but there are a few eggs and a green pepper that would be rotten by tomorrow that he can make due with. He finds an onion, too, and falls into a rhythm while dicing vegetables.

It's this kind of thing that he misses when he's away. He misses having a kitchen and making what he wants in it, even if this isn't his kitchen or his first choice of food. But he misses the simplicity of it all. Life on the base seems alternate between too fast and too slow, but this is all his own pace.

He hears footsteps on the stairs a little after the eggs hit the pan, and he glances over his shoulder to watch Tony shuffle into the room while rubbing his tired eyes. If he had stayed turned around a little longer, their third kiss wouldn't have happened at all. By the time Tony opens his eyes, Rhodey's back is to him again.

Instead of instantly reacting, Tony slowly wanders over and puts his hand on Rhodey's shoulder. The words are mumbled when he says, "You're up way too early," and Rhodey doesn't have time to process how strange the sentence is, because he's being kissed the second his head turns. Not the shut up kind of kiss or even that sort of friendly peck he's seen people do sometimes. It's the kind where Tony's tongue is slipping between his lips, and his hand is wandering lower. The kind that friends don't share, but lovers definitely do.

Rhodey falls into it without question.

The spatula clatters to the floor from his hand, and Tony laughs into the kiss before pulling back. There's a grin and a joke on his lips that's quickly replaced by dawning horror.

"Rhodey?" Tony squeaks out. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and through it Rhodey hears, "Oh, shit." He looks down at the complete lack of space between their bodies, dropping the hand to raise them both in front of himself like a defense as he backs away a couple of steps. "Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry. I thought - you weren't supposed to be here yet. Thursday. That's - you said Thursday. Didn't you?"

It's like ice water with how quickly the warmth of that kiss leaves his body.

Rhodey raises an eyebrow and plays at unaffected. "I did, yeah. Seems like you should attack an intruder instead of kissing them, though."

Tony's cheeks turn a vibrant shade of red, and he runs a still shaky hand through his hair.

"I thought you were someone else," he sheepishly admits. "It's just that from behind you, um, well you look a lot like Ryan, and he wasn't in bed still when I got up, so I came down here, and, uh, I guess you know the rest of that story."

Ryan, Rhodey's mind bitterly repeats. The guy Tony's spent the last three months talking about on the phone and in his letters. It's always about him in some way. He told me the funniest story yesterday, Rhodey or Isn't he so romantic, platypus? But Tony seems happy, so he fakes a laugh at a story that definitely isn't funny retold and agrees that string quartets are romantic instead of horribly cliché. He helps him plan dates when it's Tony's turn, because apparently that's yet another adorable thing they do together.

He just barely suppresses the sigh before saying, "Don't worry about it, Tones. It's all good."

Tony looks relieved, and after an awkward minute or two they fall back into their normal conversation like it never happened. They talk about the missions Rhodey has flown for and the designs Tony has been working on between bites of burned eggs and coffee.

Neither of them ever mention that Rhodey kissed him back.

______________

Tony and Rhodey are both drunk for the fourth. The music is loud at the club, and the air is a smoky haze. It's someone's birthday, he thinks, but he can't really remember anymore by the fifth shot of tequila.

He leans back against the bar on his elbows, watching in drunken amusement while Tony tries to put the moves on someone to hold up his end of the bet. The guy looks like he isn’t quite sure what’s happening, and Rhodey laughs into the rim of his glass. All he needs is one kiss, and Rhodey will be out the contents of his wallet. He isn't even sure what those contents are, and Tony wouldn't let him check before the handshake. It could be anywhere from a nickel to fifty bucks, he figures, which is worth it to watch this complete trainwreck.

It takes another ten minutes of flirting before Tony finally gives up and comes back over to the bar.

“Loser,” Rhodey teases. “What happened to having ‘game so good a straight man would fall to his knees?’”

Tony flips him off and steals the glass from his hand. “He has a girlfriend, which is the only reason it didn’t happen.”

“He didn’t even realize that you were flirting with him, did he?” Rhodey laughs, and Tony pouts pitifully.

“The no touching rule wasn’t fair.”

“A good bet doesn’t involve actual harassment,” Rhodey reasons, just like he did earlier in the night. “If you can’t get them to kiss you by flirting with just words, they wouldn’t want you touching them in the first place. It’s called consent.”

Tony rolls his eyes, “I do not need to be taught about consent. I am the king of consent. Enthusiastic, resounding consent, even.” He pauses, and there’s a dangerous look in his eyes when he narrows them at Rhodey. “Okay, I know that this about to go against everything I just said, but it’s you, and we don’t have rules, right?”

“What?”

“Just say yes.”

“Yes to what?”

Tony leans in with enough time that if Rhodey really wanted to, he could pull away. He could put his hand over Tony’s mouth or step to the side or simply tell him no and Tony wouldn’t do it.

But he doesn’t do any of those things.

He lets Tony cup the back of his neck to tilt his head to the right angle, and he threads his hand into Tony’s hair in return. His lips taste like the vodka and cranberry juice from the stolen glass, until Rhodey has kissed him so thoroughly that he can’t taste it anymore.

“There,” Tony says, grinning proudly like he’s just done something exceptionally smart. His breath is coming quickly, and Rhodey’s head is spinning with the thought that he’s the one that did that to him. “I got a straight man to kiss me. Pay up.”

Rhodey laughs, full-bodied with his head tilted back. “No, man. You definitely didn’t.”

Tony’s still a little too drunk to fully understand what he means by that, and he takes it as if Rhodey’s saying that he stole the kiss, rather than earned it. He spends most of the night after that trying to get him to kiss him again on his own accord, but Rhodey doesn’t want another one like that. He wants Tony’s soft-eyed gaze on him, and his body held tight in his arms. He wants to hear him say the same words he’s saying right now, but to have him actually mean it when he says the word please. Like he won’t be able to live for another second without Rhodey’s lips on his.

He doesn’t want the joke anymore, but he knows he won’t ever get to have the real thing.

______________

Rhodey is half asleep for kiss number five, and he isn’t even quite sure that it actually happens. He’s lying in a hospital bed somewhere in Germany, he thinks, and machines are beeping all around him. He can’t really remember what brought him here as he drifts in and out. There was some kind of fight - that much is obvious. He sees flashes of bullets in the sky, flames, and a rapidly plummeting altitude reading. Was it a mission gone wrong? An attack they weren’t expecting? One of the machines ticks a little faster when he tries to clear his head enough to think about it, and then darkness takes over again.

When he partially wakes the next time, there’s something warm and solid in his hand. It shifts a little, brushing lightly in circles over his skin, and it takes him a longer amount of time than it should to realize that it’s another hand. But when he does, he knows without a doubt who it belongs to, and the thought sends him back into sleep with a warm feeling in his chest.

He finds out later that he was unconscious for three days, and Tony hardly leaves his side for a minute of it. Rhodey doesn’t want to say how that makes him feel, so he falls back on what he does know how to say.

“You should really at least go back to the hotel to take a shower. You’re starting to smell, man,” he says after the doctor leaves the room.

Tony gives him a weak laugh, running his hand through his hair and grimacing at the oily texture. "Maybe in a little bit. You just woke up."

Rhodey shifts against the pillows, tilting his head to get a good look at him. His clothes might be the same ones he showed up here in, all wrinkled with a coffee stain on one of his sleeves. The circles under his eyes are darker than he's ever quite seen them before, and he looks too pale.

Tony isn't supposed to look like that.

He's supposed to be sunlight embodied, all tanned skin and bright eyes and fluid motion. But this Tony is slumped over in his chair, small and fragile looking like the wrong word could destroy him completely. This Tony offers him a brave face and a delicate smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and Rhodey can't stand it. Can't stand that it's his own fault he looks like that.

Stretching his arm out, he turns over his hand to open his palm. The movement tugs at his injured shoulder, but he grits his teeth to hide the pain and it's worth it to have Tony's hand back in his where it belongs. He squeezes gently, and Tony squeezes back.

"You almost died," Tony whispers. "You're not allowed to die."

"I won't do it again," Rhodey says, even though they both know he can't make that promise.

Tony nods, and for now that can be enough. He switches the topic to something else so they don't have to talk about it anymore. So Tony doesn't have to say what the last three days felt like, and Rhodey doesn't have to admit that his last thought before the plane went down was regret that he'd never get to have this again.

Tony makes him laugh until his battered ribs are aching with it, until they've talked about everything and nothing and sleep is pulling at Rhodey again. It's hard to keep his eyes open, and he fights it until he can't any longer.

A hand runs over his hair, and down the side of his face to linger on his cheek. Rhodey leans into the touch with closed eyes as Tony murmurs, "I'll come back tomorrow. Don't you dare do anything stupid like dying while I'm gone."

He feels the warmth of Tony's breath on his skin the moment before Tony kisses him. It's a barely there, wisp of a thing, right on the corner of his mouth. There one instant, then gone the next. It's the last thing he feels before slipping into sleep again.

______________

“I’m so old,” Tony groans, flopping down on the beach chair next to Rhodey’s. “Ancient. Decrepit. On death’s door.”

“You’re thirty,” Rhodey says, and he laughs at the pout on Tony’s face. “I’m a year older than you. What does that make me then?”

“A senior citizen, just like me.”

Rhodey lifts his beer from where the bottle was balancing in the sand and clinks it with the bottle in Tony’s hand. “Welcome to the club then. We’re happy to have you.”

Tony kicks off his shoes and tucks his feet under his thighs as he settles back in the chair. It’s quiet out here on the beach, away from the crowds and noise from the party. The crashing of the waves and the distant thrum of music are the only sounds, and they watch the water in the still of the night for a while.

“Don’t you want to get back to the party?” Rhodey asks softly, unwilling to break their bubble of peace. “It’s for you.”

Tony shakes his head. “I like it better out here.”

“Want me to kick everyone out for you?”

Tony looks over his shoulder at the house, filled to the brim and lights flashing from every window. He leans over the inch between their chairs and rests his head on Rhodey’s shoulder. “No, they can have their fun in there, and I can have mine here.”

Rhodey cards his hand through Tony’s hair, feeling warm despite the cool breeze. “This is fun for you, huh? Sitting in silence?”

“It’s always good with you,” Tony murmurs, so quiet that Rhodey almost loses it to the ocean. He’ll always be thankful that he didn’t.

He lets his hand go lower, slipping from his hair to run his thumb along Tony’s jaw, and it would be so easy, he thinks, to kiss him right now. To tilt Tony’s chin up and turn his head to the side just a little. To brush their lips together, slowly at first, then steadily growing more desperate as he gives in to everything he’s wanted for so long. He thinks of the way Tony would sound, if he would sigh or moan or whimper under his mouth. Tony would be sticky sweet from the buttercream on the cupcakes from earlier, and Rhodey would taste sugar on his tongue.

“Rhodey,” Tony whispers, looking up at him. The moon is reflected in the deep brown of his eyes, and Rhodey wants to keep this image of him in him in his mind forever. “Can I tell you what I wished for?”

“Won’t come true if you do,” Rhodey whispers back.

“I think it’s the only way it might,” Tony answers, and he seems even closer than he was before.

“What did you wish for?”

Tony’s cheeks are flushed, and Rhodey thinks for a moment that he’s going to lose his nerve to say whatever it is. He’s ready for the joke instead, but it never comes.

“For you to kiss me,” Tony says with an unsteady breath. “For it to mean something when you do.”

Rhodey slides his hand a little higher, and he strokes across Tony’s cheekbone. He doesn’t miss the way that Tony’s eyes flicker down to his lips. “And what do you want it to mean?”

“Everything.”

“Everything,” Rhodey repeats, and Tony smiles, soft and unsure. “I think I can manage that.”

______________

Years later, Tony still likes to tease Rhodey about their first kiss, except now it's become their thing. The interrupted sentences sometimes get finished after and sometimes don't because kissing Tony is more important than whatever it was that he had to say in the first place.

He loses count of what number they’re on. One thousand or one million, it could never be enough. They have all kinds of kisses now. Early morning, sleep-hazed kisses, and quick, little pecks on the way out the door. Good night kisses that turn passionate and desperate as often as they stay innocent and sweet. Reluctant ones when Tony is mad at him for something silly, lingering ones in apology.

Each one still means everything.

#rhodeytony #ironhusbands #my writing #my fic #prompt fill #warmachinesocks

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