#// im already behind and ive one single blog at the moment

[sonicanary]

soft blocking.

Sometimes people expect a follow back. Their blog is honestly everything you’d love, the aesthetic, the writing, the character development, the mun is adorable but I don’t follow back.

It might be about any reason. I just don’t think Dinah is the right character for your blog. The themes sometimes are what determined my choices. Villains are cool, but most of the times Dinah will just kick their asses and that’s it. & writing action is okay, but it’s my worst productive writing, I easily get bored after a few interactions. Again it’s not about your blog, your writing or your character… it’s a choice of writing for me and how I choose to spend my time on here. With another character our muses would match better probably. So it’s nothing personal. You’re all fabulous ! I just can’t see ourselves writing together sometimes.

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[timothy-chamlet]

the afterparty - t.c. fanfic

pair: timmy x female reader

warnings: unprotected sex, general smut

word count: 2.6k (2640)

a//n: ok er ive never written for timmy before so im nervous snsvsj but if you read it tell me what u think !! <3

°•○●○•°

people often thought the two of you were dating. paparazzi tended to make it look that way through press. despite all the candid photos of you and timothée plastered in magazine spreads and floating around on blogs, he would tell people you weren't together. interviewers would ask, and time again he would put an end to the rumor by saying you weren't dating, you were just friends. 

to be fair, you honestly couldn't even be mad at him. it was a good marketing tactic, at least. if all the girls knew he was single they'd still be invested in the persona of a young, attractive starlet that - despite his more than desirable qualities - is still single. genius. meanwhile you were being his best friend and his trophy for award shows. 

it was growing on you though. you enjoyed walking red carpet events and going to extravagant parties and meeting big names in the industry. it was really a win-win for both of you. 

another one of those win-win situations was tonight. the past three days had been crazy. hair appointments, nail appointments, dress fittings, photoshoots, brunches, and dinners. running each new day on an hour of sleep - maybe two if you were lucky. fueled by energy drinks and the promise of rest after the event. showing up to an awards ceremony on nothing more than a 20 minute nap and a double shot espresso. being timothée's showpiece was exhausting. but it was good for you. 

you had just finished your last consultation for dress fittings and were on your way to your styling appointment. the dress would arrive shortly after you so everything was ready to go. things were set for timothée to meet you there in an hour or so, after his own styling. 

currently you're getting your makeup done. a swarm of professionals all around you, handing products, giving directions, telling you how gorgeous you look, at least three hands on you at all times. after almost an hour all the disembodied hands move from your face to reveal the *almost* finished product. you still need your hair done, but your face was flawless. your skin was insanely smooth; not a pore in sight, your lids were a bronze shade, and your lips were a perfect nude. 

a hair stylist soon steps into view, also admiring your makeup before diving into your hair. it was simple. a slicked back ponytail is all, careful not to draw away from your face and your dress. 

the strong aroma of hairspray clouds you as you maneuver to step into your dress. stripped of your previous clothes, you step into your dress and a couple people help you pull it up. the woman attending to the supper in the back steps away for a moment, seeming to answer a question. 

"what's his name?" she asks into her ear piece. "uh yes. she's in here with me. send him in."  

she returns behind you and does up the zipper to your dress. to your surprise, you see timothée waltz in the room. dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a light lavender button up underneath. "y/n," he exhales, walking towards you. "you look breathtaking, ma chérie." 

"you don't look too bad yourself, timmy," you say, stepping down from your pedestal to be almost eye level with him.

"is she done here?" he asks everyone around without taking his eyes off you. 

one of the women there swoops in with a pair of shoes and says, "slip in to these and you're ready to go, darling." 

you step into your shoes and link arms with timothée. "carriage awaits," he says as the two of you get escorted to the limo. 

once inside you let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding. "you okay?" he asks from beside you. 

"yeah, just.. tired." 

he chuckles and drops his head. "absolutely exhausted." you two had similarly scheduled days so he knows exactly how you feel. "don't worry, mon amour, i'll have you home in about 8 hours." 

"i thought the awards show was only 4-" 

"there's always the afterparty.." 

you audibly groan and drop your head as timothée places a reassuring hand on your knee. 

"we're here," he says with fake enthusiasm as the limo pulls up to the event. the past 45 minutes felt like hours as your head began to pound from the lack of sleep. yet, lucky you, 45 minutes in l.a. traffic was a miracle. 

the two of you step out into the scene. flashing lights from camera flickers, the general buzz of the crowd, people you knew trying to get your attention, people timothée knew trying to get his attention. being the kind person he is, he doesn't shy away from fans calling his name. he walks over to give high fives, say hi, sign things, and really interact with the people that are so invested in his career. you look at him with a fond smile on your face as he greets  people.  

"timothéeeee," you both hear and turn around to match the loud booming voice to a face. 

"armieee!!" he yells in response, hurrying over to hug his co-star. 

you stand idly by as the two hug and catch up. fiddling with your ponytail and the skirt of your dress. until that same voice catches your attention. 

"bring it in hot stuff!" 

"hey, armie! how've you been, handsome?" you two had only met a handful of times, but it's like your souls clicked instantly. he had kept in touch since the first time you met and you guys had been pretty close ever since. 

"oh i’m doing great. really. just excited for this evening. can't wait to see how many awards lil' tim brings in," armie ends with a light laugh before timothée chimes in. 

"oh god no-" 

a cheery voice interrupts the conversation. 

"helloooo," armie's wife says in a sing-song voice and joins his side. "nice to see you again, y/n. and congrats timmy on your nominations." 

you and timothée nod in response and utter small, nervous 'thank you's' before armie excuses the two of them, promising to catch up later. 

"well, well, well- this is it, timmy." you say from your seat next to him. the host reads the nominees for best breakthrough of the year, and timothée's name is mixed in with so many other talented actors. he nervously puts his hand over yours. "you are absolutely amazing. everyone knows that. you're gonna get it." he looks at you and you pass him a reassuring smile. 

"and the award for best breakthrough goes to… timothée chalamet!" 

his head shoots up in shock. cameras pan around him and his baffled expression appears on huge screens behind the stage. he slowly stands from his seat and makes his way to the stage. making a beautiful speech, thanking almost everyone he's ever known. giving gratitude to everyone he's ever worked with, his parents, and his best friends. he comes off the stage and returns to his seat beside you. a year runs down his cheek, and you move to wipe it away, but he grabs your hand away from his cheek only to press his lips to your knuckles. "thank you for always believing in me." 

"you're an amazing actor and an even better friend. 

the night was nearing an end. people were saying their goodbyes and their 'see-you-soon's and going their separate ways. you and timothée walk out of the event, arms linked, with his hands tightly gripping his award. the smile never leaves his face. "i can't fucking believe that, y/n."

"you did it, timmy! all you and your hard work. lemme pick a nice spot on your shelf for it yeah?" 

"i was thinking about sitting it on my dresser right above the drawer full of your shit you keep leaving at my house," he says with a barely visible smirk. 

"oh, well if it's such a problem," you begin "i guess I'll just have to come get my 'shit' then?" you finish sarcastically. 

"oh! how dare you?" he begins to shout, going on a tirade similar to that of hamlet; overly dramatic and mostly nonsensical. "leave them be! small, small remnants; reminders of thee." he trails off softly, dropping his head to your shoulder and bringing his other hand up to trail his fingertips down the side of your face. 

you can't help but chuckle at this. "bravo timothée! amazing performance." 

he straightens up before taking a bow and returning to his previous position on your shoulder. "do you wanna skip the afterparty?" 

"and do what, tim? i thought you were gonna catch up with armie?" 

"i dunno- go to my place?" 

you nod your head, and timothée let's the driver know to just go to his house. 

you get out of the car in front of his apartment, quickly thank the driver, and dash inside; excited to remove the day. "can i shower?" you ask quickly already making your way upstairs.

"oui, mon trèsor, make yourself at home. ill be up in a while." it was almost as if he had it scripted. a routine more or less. you'd ask to shower - despite him telling you almost each time you never had to ask - and go up stairs to do so; him trailing along about an hour later behind you. 

you finish your shower earlier than planned so you decide to lay on his bed until he comes up. you let your freshly washed body relish in the textures of the cotton t-shirt and shorts you're wearing and the damp-cool feel of the comforter on his bed. 

you're not left alone for long before he darts up the stairs and into his room, catching your attention. you watch as he walks around, dropping various articles of his clothing haphazardly on his floor. left in only his boxers. 

"timmy?" you ask in a drawn out voice. 

"hm?" he asks lowly in response; his eyes trained on you. you don't respond to his muffled question and instead watch as he comes to lean over the foot of the bed, by your legs. "i've been thinking," he continues, "a lot recently. about us.." 

"us?-" 

"about what the media thinks we are. what the people say. the blog posts, the tweets. i read it all��� what do you think about it, y/n?" he ends with a light sigh, making drawing light swirls on your leg. 

"i dunno really. i've never thought much about it," you say sitting up. 

he moves up from his place in front of the bed, crawling up to sit to the right of your legs. knees drawn up to his chest, eyes meeting yours. he raises his hand so his fingertips ghost the curve of your cheek. "you never think about.. the possibility of us?" he pauses as his eyes drift from yours. hands falling to his lap as he scoots even closer to you. you sit stunned, not knowing how to answer as if it was some rhetoric instead of a simple question. filling the silence, he continues. "i think about how different things would be if we were together. what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and- can i kiss you?" 

his voice wavers as his eyes meet yours yet again. with quick movements, he moves to straddle your legs, both hands resting lightly on either side of your face. 

"can i kiss you?" he asks again, his face millimeters from yours. 

you shake your head yes as your eyes fluttering closed, your lips brushing against his as you move. 

he plants his lips firmly on yours. innocent at first, but the kiss quickly gets deeper. more desperate, his hands moving from the sides of your face to tangle in your hair, pulling your head back giving him access to your neck. his lips dance around the skin of your neck, being careful not to leave any marks. “is this okay?” he whispers, dragging his hands from your hair to the hem of your shirt. 

you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the floor with his clothes. you lean back and give timothee free reign of your chest and stomach. he makes his way from your neck down and across your chest. your hands rush to knot in his hair as he takes a nipple in his mouth, carefully flicking his tongue across the hardening bud before doing the same to the other. 

"timmy.." you breathe out as he leaves your chest and explores lower. his eyes meet yours as his teeth come into contact with the flimsy waistband of your sleep shorts. "please," you whisper. 

he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and pulls them down your legs; eyes going wide when he sees you have nothing underneath. 

"so pretty," he whispers almost to himself as he throws your shorts in his floor with the rest of your guys' clothes. he runs his finger along your slit, collecting some of your wetness, tasting it. laying back down with your legs over his shoulders, he hooks his arms around your thighs to keep you in place. he runs his tongue along your folds and you arch your back in response. he sucks on your clit making you squirm and tangle your fingers tighter in his hair, pushing against his face, eager for more. 

"tim-... timmy," you beg.

timothée kisses his way back up your body. "hm?" he hums softly beside your ear only for you to utter another weak 'please' in response. 

"please… please what, mon amour?" 

"baise moi.." you didn't know much french. you had picked up on a few of timothée's most used phrases, but this you hadn't learned from him, so it caught him off-guard. stuck in a moment of shock. hearing you say something so dirty in french felt so strangely intimate; you didn't have to ask him twice. 

he slips his boxers, finally accompanying you in nakedness, and slips into you, moaning at the feeling of you around him. 

"fuck.. timmy-" you groan as he picks up his pace. he coos sweet nothings into your ear while drilling into your core. 

his head drops to your chest and the soft, sweet praises slowly turn into obscenities. "merde," he groans, picking up his pace even more. holding himself at arms length above you, he throws his head back; lips parted in pure bliss. 

you lift one of your hands to trail down timothée's torso. you lazily drag your fingertips across his chest and down to his stomach. the pleasure building inside you, your hand finds its way to your clit. “timmy... fuck! ple- please don’t stop. fuuuuuck!” 

“défaire pour moi, y/n.” you didn’t think french could ever drive you to orgasm, but when it came from timothé anything was possible. you convulse around him as your wave of pleasure washes over you. timothée reaching his own peak soon after, pulling out and emptying on your stomach. he quickly finds something to clean you up with before plopping down on the bed beside you. many silent moments pass - nothing but heavy breaths leaving either of you - before he speaks up. “you know,” he begins in a soft whisper, “i felt bad- like i was using you. just to go to events with me. i know you don’t really like them but-” 

you cut him off and turn to face him. “i might hate going to those award shows, but they’re a little less bad with you around.” 

he breaks into a wide smile and pulls you closer, putting his head on your stomach. "mon amour, je t'ai toujours aimé." you reach down to play with his curls and begin to drift off on your way to sleep. 

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Toshizou Sakura Epilogue

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.... 

originally translated this on account of me wanting to ignore Kyoka-Roku, which will be pushed back yet another year. unfortunately (or fortunately? hahaha) i can’t discount the possibility of that happening again since im now shifting most of my focus onto yuugiroku because of the English patch... though im not sure what I’ll be translating next since im still in the middle of moving what ive already done onto the spreadsheet from my scheduled posts, and that is going to take quite a while im since editing them as i go. 

anyway, this is my translation of Toshizou’s sakura epilogue 『 恋染めし日』  from the 2nd yuugiroku game. the timing for these are all over the place given what I know of the games... and this one definitely happens after the last Tsukikage no Shou chapter for Hijikata since Chizuru’s name in that is “Yukimura Chizuru” while this has her with a change in surname... whereas the one for Kazama happens some time after Reimeiroku’s ending since it occurs while they’re still in Edo, while Saito’s is definitely before his last Ginsei no Shou chapter, and Harada’s is likely sometime before his last Edo Blossom chapter. Not sure about Souji’s aside from how it’s after they’re married (though im assuming it’s before his last tsukikage chapter given my vague recollection of it), and I have no idea about Heisuke’s since I don’t have tl for it.

images used in this post are my snips of my vita capture.

ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST VACCINE (i’m in a low priority age group, don’t live in a hot spot, and 2 of the appointments i made were cancelled by the pharmacies i booked them at so it took a while)!!!!!! 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Toshizou Epilogue

Translation by KumoriYami

Regardless if it was my responding to Toshizou-san. Or if it was Toshizou-san's voice responding to me. As our conversation unfolded, our voices gradually became quieter.

After a while, our words stopped as they became unnecessary/were no longer necessary.......

Without even realizing it, we were sitting against the sakura tree.

Hijikata:.......

Chizuru:......

A relaxing and serene silence.

As if to fill in the empty gap left by our conversation, a gentle wind blew the sakura.

We sat under the rain of sakura that was falling like snow, and the first to break the silence/open his mouth was Toshizou-san.

Hijikata: We were talking for a while/ We've talked for a while.

Chizuru: Yes, quite some time has passed......

Compared to when we started talking, I noticed that the shadow of the sakura tree had become longer and that the sun’s position had changed. 

Perhaps because the direction of the wind had changed, the smell of the sakura became more refreshing.

Chizuru: The wind's gotten colder, so should we be going home soon?

I brushed my sleeves and stood up. Then, I gently smiled as I extended my hand to Toshizou-san, who was still sitting against the tree.

A moment later, Toshizou-san grabbed my hand——

Hijikata:.......Don't go.

Chizuru: Eh? Kyaa!?

As if to show the depth of his feelings, he strongly pulled me, causing me to fall into Toshizou-san's embrace.

Toshizou-san caught me as I fell, and let out a small sigh.

Chizuru: To-Toshizou-san!?

Hijikata: Don't go yet...... Can you stay here for a bit longer?

Toshizou-san's sigh and his words in my ear were full of affection and a bit of loneliness.

Chizuru: Wh-What's wrong, Toshizou-san?

Hijikata: Nothing in particular. It's just when I saw this sakura tree....... I felt as if you'd be going far away.

Chizuru: I, I see.

In this sort of position, I wasn't able to remain calm.

Feeling the sturdy chest of the man behind me, I felt a bit restless, though Toshizou-san surprisingly began to speak into my ear.

Hijikata:......Last night. I had a dream.

Chizuru: Was it perhaps/Could it be, a dream about the Shinsengumi/that it was a dream about the Shinsengumi......?

Hijikata: Yeah. It was different that the usual one. This one.......didn’t have you in it, Chizuru. Ikedya, the Hamaguri Incident, and also Toba-Fushimi. A Shinsengumi where you didn't exist/without you...... It was that sort of dream.

Chizuru:.......

Hijikata: That's why I was thinking. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here today.

As if to say that he didn't want to lose anything, his arms grasp on me became tighter.

From how painful his embrace was, I could feel Hijikata-san’s anxiety.

Hijikata: It's quite embarrassing. To think that the Shinsengumi's Demon Vice-Commander would become this upset over a single dream.

Chizuru:......Toshizou-san is no longer that Demon Vice-Commander. Rather, he’s my most important person, and Hijikata Chizuru's beloved husband.

Although I didn't know if he could see my face, I still smiled to assure him, and waited for Toshizou-san to react/-san's reaction.

Eventuallly, Toshizou-san sighed deeply, and blankly stared at the sakura.

Hijikata: Although I really like sakura, whenever I see them, I always end up thinking about what I've lost.

Chizuru:......I do too/ I have the same/similar thoughts.

Hijikata: But, there were things I received in return. 

——Before coming to this place, we lost a lot/many things.

This included our comrades, our home, and everything else that we had before.

One by one, each item of importance was lost.

As if to confirm what we were all that we had left in our hands, we tightened our hold on the other’s arms.

I looked up and was greeted by the sight of sakura in full bloom and Toshizou-san smiling.

Out bodies that were touching each felt as warm as the current season, when the snow began to melt.

Perhaps by feeling each other's warmth, doing so would be able to bring/would bring our hearts closer.

Hijikata:......I'm sorry to have said something so selfish/wilful. Let's hurry back now/We should go back now..

When we finally separated from each other, Toshizou-san bitterly smiled as he muttered.

So I said——

Continue chatting Bring this to an end <-

Chizuru: Y-Yes. Let's go home.

Seeing how I didn’t resist his words, Toshizou-san showed a mischievous smile.

Hijikata: Are you not able to stand up? Or do you want me to carry you on my back?

Chizuru: It, it’s fine......!

Driven by my urge to take his outstretched hand, I leaned on the sakura tree to stand up.

——Suddenly, my hair was fluttering in the wind.

The strong wind swept through the tree branches, and their petals instantly enveloped Hijikata-san's back while he began walking.

It looked as if Hijikata-san was going to be taken away by the sakura, so I hurriedly followed Hijikata-san.

In order to not lose sight of his back in the blizzard-like sakura, I walked towards him——.

----End---

...it snowed last friday so i was pretty happy watching it as it fell.

also im planning on reuploading a diff version of saito’s version of this later.

[samwritesforyou]

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

.

.

.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

.

.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 

 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

.

.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

[pompadourpink]

hi mum, i recently passed a job interview but due to complications from the company theyre unable to hire me. so now im still jobless. i feel so terrible because my hopes were crushed and prior to them informing me of it i turned down another job offer because i've passed this one. im so lost and sad because ive been trying to find a job since march. plus both of my bestfriends are already working and i feel so left behind. i also feel guilty to my parents because im not earning anything :(

Hello darling,

You turned down an offer, and then the other company had to change their plans for external reasons. That means two different companies looked at you and said Yes, we like this one. You’ll be fine.

1. We are in the middle of an awful pandemic. Now is exactly the time to rest and think about what’s next; that’s what I did back in April when I was in the same situation, and now I’m about to become an entrepreneur. Don’t torture yourself; this isn’t your fault and getting a job now would mean taking risks regarding your health anyway.

2. We all take a different path. Career, house, marriage, kids: you won’t self-destruct if you don’t have certain things at a certain age. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Talk to your parents, make sure they know you’re not acting spoilt. If you feel like it, make a deal that you’ll pay bills for a while when you do get a job to show gratitude.

But don’t let pride make you miserable.

3. Exactly two years ago, I got mononucleosis. I was on sick leave for a month and a half, in agony; until then, I hadn’t taken more than half a day off in my entire life. I was so ashamed of myself I kept apologizing to my manager for not being at the office in the middle of summer.

And you know what? That was stupid. Not only because I had done nothing to get in that situation, but it was just a job. I stayed there for less than a year, was overworked because my coworkers kept delegating, had people talking about me behind my back and lying when I confronted them. I hated that job. We were about 150 people there, most of them said hello to me every single day, yet only two of them, my favourite coworker and my supervisor, called during my leave. That’s when I realised how dumb I had been.

What happened next? One, I got back to work at the end of August, took two weeks off for my birthday in September and flew to Rome. When I got back, I quit. Two, before I went to Italy, I had a discussion with my supervisor, an even more overworked old lady, who stayed late, skipped her breaks to help others, without getting any kind of recognition, while being paid like shit. She was saying how she was so anxious about numbers she couldn’t sleep. I told her that no one there would even consider visiting her in the hospital if she ever had a heart attack. When I got back from my vacation I found her desk empty: she had retired, and later texted me how happy she was, back home, with her garden and her dog.

You don’t have to be productive to be a worthy member of society. You’re on this blog because you’re trying to learn a language; you’re clearly sweet, smart, and willing to do good; surrounded by people who love you. You’re a good person and you deserve to feel good, regardless of the state of your professional life.

It’s a bad moment, not a bad life.

Love,

Mum

[spiderrrling]

Alright then, you asked for it. For the personal asks 4-73 😌

aight but you gotta read them all 

4: What do you think about most?

sadly, school

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

fab texted me “you should never trust teenagers” 

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

i sleep in a t-shirt and underwear 

7: What’s your strangest talent?

my hyperflexible joints

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are amazing, boys are amazing sometimes

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

no and i hope it will never happen

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

air drums is my preferred method of air instruments and just earlier today

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

needles, cant do them at all i will physically hurt you if you try

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i mean i did a covid test does that count? i shoved a perler bead up my nose when i was 4 

13: What’s your religion?

i am atheist 

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking or maybe camping i love me a good camping trip

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behindddd i am very awkward in photos

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

at the moment, all time low

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my mom i studied for this test that i havent studied for 

18: Do you believe in karma?

fairly yeah

19: What does your URL mean?

this one is nothing special, just the spiderrrling 

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i actually dont know, ive been told im very emotionally strong due to what would probably be my greatest weakness, my chronic pain

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

idk if you could guess but its tom holland

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no not really

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write or i text friends or i rant here on tumblrdotcom

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

books, i have a lot of books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

depends on the person im talking with

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yeah mostly

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hospital beeping sounds, cant stand them. i love the sound of rain

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

i didnt quit gymnastics

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i mean technically we are aliens, there is no way we are alone in the universe 

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my right, my wall

my left, nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

smells like rain bc my window is open and it just rained

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

idk maybe a place in denmark?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

never been to the us

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

alex garskath

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

42

36: Define Art.

art is anything if  you ask me 

37: Do you believe in luck?

sometimes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it just rained but its gonna rain more

39: What time is it?

10.27 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

no i dont drive

41: What was the last book you read?

i just finished volume 3 of heartstopper and currently reading northern lights 

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

honestly yeah

43: Do you have any nicknames?

i do! for those who dont know im fox, ive gone by fox for many years and i respond to it like its my name

44: What was the last film you saw?

i rewatched howls moving caslte

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

my knee is really bad from gymnastics

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yes!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes multiple, UCLA gymnastics, generally gymnastics, plague doctors, books, percy jackson

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

i am a raging bisexal

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

id like to not get into this just bc it happened very recently

50: Do you believe in magic?

yeah 

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

depends on what they did

52: What is your astrological sign?

i am a scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i save money but i also spend it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought 58 books on a discount book store

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

sadly i am very single

57: How many relationships have you had?

one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school then at home studying

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

probably but my room is dark rn

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

not wearing socks rn but i only own black socks anyway

62: What’s your favourite animal?

foxes or penguins or polar bears, i like most animals to be honest

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

just be nice and be able to deal with my ranting 

64: Where is your best friend?

way too far from me in norway

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@uglypastels @hey-its-grey @wvllywest @hauntedtom @anxieteandbiscuits

66: What is your heritage?

norwegain/swedish

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, i need my sleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

i think thats his first name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

who hasnt

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean i bake, cook and give great hugs

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i have too much anxiety to be late

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a. i tell those i care about 

b. live my life to the fullest

c. i already have what? 4 chronic conditions?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust is its own kind of love in my opinion

there u happy now z? now its your turn

[raw-real-anxiety-blog]

My Story

I thought maybe blogging even just for myself might help some of the feelings that I and I'm sure many other people have or are going threw.

Ive always been a happy outgoing kid. Actually I was that kid you could never get to shut up in class. I always remembered being super attached to my mom as a child and until now I never realized the reason behind it.

But Im getting ahead of myself. Let me introduce myself a bit. Lets just say my names K and I am blessed to have two amazing parents who are still very much in love, in their own weird way. I have an older brother who is 6 years older making him 29.. expect he has his own set is issues with addiction therefore his mind is more at about age 16.

Maybe my issues all stem deeply from growing up with my brothers issues since i was 10 but i still to this day have no clue as to why i am the way i am.

The actually anxiety i guess you could say didn't surface until i was about 14 just entering high school. Now many say thats a trigger in itself for someone whose already emotionally fragile but no doctor could actually pin point the reason. For the longest time id always complain to my mom how i never “felt good” and i always felt “gaggy” (mind you this was way before we even knew what anxiety was). Several doctors later and wha-la... Ive been finally diagnosed with severe anxiety, agoraphobia, oh and emetophobia(fear of throwing up) Now imagine telling a 14 year old girl all of this who already felt like she was loosing her mind. So after months of feeling sick and loosing a sick amount of weight and never leaving my couch, we finally had an answer! Which we soon found out wasn't as easy of a journey that we thought it'd be to get me better. Then enter the therapists and the psychiatrists and oh the drugs. Thats when i was introduced to a life long friend Zoloft.

So fast forward and once the medication and therapy starting helping i finally felt my life getting easy and i felt so alive and happy again. Sure there will always be bumps in the road and sad moments and anxious moments but I was FINALY in control...For 9 years that euphoria you could say latest. But then i did the one thing every single mentally ill person does.. i felt SO good and my life was so amazing in every aspect that i figured i didn't need my medicine any more. My dear friend Zoloft and i parted after a month of weaning myself off with my Dr super vision. Let me tell you... 11 months later and i wish i cold travel back in time and slap myself for even thinking that'd be a good idea.

So here I am present day, 23, should be thriving in life right now. I have my dream job as a hairstylist, the BEST family a person could hope for, a solid group of best friends who are more like sisters to me and I met my prince charming who I've been with for over 4 and 1/2 years now. Except I'm not thriving. Im slowing dying inside. Now this spiral was long coming and i should've stopped it in its track but i didn't i kept telling myself you're stronger than this, you've got this. But the truth is, my brain needed help. More help than any pep talks to myself could do. 

And here i am today, 10 days back on Zoloft 25mg, and take klonopin 3x daily for the time being so that i can stop the panic attacks. From trying to ignore my bodys cry for help for so long i not only have severe anxiety, agoraphobia,emetophobia but now i suffered from panic attacks daily and OCD.

But let me freaking tell you.. I will bet this. And i will be the person i once was again. NEVER GIVE UP 

[pinkykitten]

Standing Up

The Greatest Showman

Three - Legged Man x female! reader

Warning: the mob being buttholes, bullies, violence

Specifics: romance, fluff, man vs man, fall, pumpkin, race neutral reader

People:  Francesco “Frank” Lentini (three-legged man), you, the mob, P.T. Barnum (mentioned), P.T. Barnum family (mentioned)

Words: 1,732

Request: By anonymously Hi there! I've been reading through your blog (mainly tgs tag you have) and love your writing! 💕 I was wondering if I could maybe request a story for Frank, the three legged man? Maybe where the mob finds out about the two dating and start to target her and it gets to her, so Frank comforts her? Hope that's a good enough of a description 😄 Thanks!! ❤

Authors Note: hiya! thank u so much for liking my tgs writing. im so happy that i write for this fandom cuz honestly it deserves to much luv. thnx for requesting and i hope this was good enough. btw i luv this character like i would point him out every time i saw him he looks so cool! im sorry this took so long pls forgive me! i hope you enjoy and pls feedback is much appreciated. thnx!

You and Frank have been dating for a couple of months, loving every single moment you both shared with each other. 

Intertwining fingers, overwhelming hugs, countless of kisses, and so much more is the love you both posses. 

Meeting Frank was the best thing that has ever happened to you. You and Frank had greeted through a friend, and a very known friend at that. It was through Ralph Krooner aka the elephant - skinned man. Everything was history. 

You did not at all mind about Frank’s extra leg. You knew he was self conscious about it and just knowing that fact made your heart ache in sadness.

Unfortunately Frank wanted to keep your relationship a secret. Not wanting even a homeless cat to know. 

His reasoning? “I don’t want people to find out, love, because I don’t want you to get bullied or hurt because of me.”

You understood and respected his wishes. You didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t trust you. 

“Oh look at how big this one is Frank!” You called to him, waving your hand in the direction of the object you were wanting to show Frank. It was Fall, you were bundled up enough but not too much. You had wanted to go to the market so badly last Fall but Frank was not comfortable yet to go. This time he made the effort to attend the Fall market. All just to make you happy. 

Frank walked to you and as he walked people stared. Some children and some adults. Scoffing, whispering things to each other. 

You so badly wanted to tell them off, tell them how rude they were being and how they should teach their children manners. But again, you had to keep your relationship with Frank a secret. 

It was hard in public. You wanted to call him love, sweetheart, all these pet names but you couldn’t, you had to call him Frank. You couldn’t even hold his hand in public. It was a nightmare! 

“What is it y/n? Are you okay?” He asked concerned. 

You nodded your head, “yes silly I am alright, but look what I found!” You squeal in delight as you show him a huge pumpkin. 

With a struggle you picked up the orange fruit (if it got seeds then it a fruit, at least thats what ive heard) to show to Frank, closer up. Frank tried to help you the best he could.

He did help immensely. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be much of help,” he looked down ashamed of himself. 

You softly placed your foot by his and he looked up wide eyed, “Thank you good sir for helping me carry this. You are very strong.”

You bit your lip as you saw how his muscles flexed from the weight of the pumpkin. Frank saw you admiring his arms and he smiled with a little giggle. 

“You are very welcome, beautiful madam.” 

You grinned and asked him if he could carry it to the paying tent. 

As you and him walked there more people stared, more people whispered. Some even laughed. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the worst of these bullies. The mob. They tormented and treated people differently from them with evil acts. They spit, threw things at them, and called them names. You glared at the leader of the mob. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have done that. 

As you went to the paying tent, the mob came to his side. 

“Oh look another freak!”

Frank, still holding the pumpkin, pushed you behind him, setting and arm in front of you in case anything were to happen you would be protected. 

“Men, we don’t want any trouble. Please let us get on with our day with no confrontation.” Frank tried to avoid the situation. 

“No, I think we’re good here. You helping out this young woman?” They all started hooting and hollering at you, whistling for you to come over. “C’mon little darling, we can show you a good time.”

Frank placed the pumpkin on a nearby table with anger, “How dare you talk to a woman like that? You outta be ashamed of yourselves.”

The leader of the mob cackled, “All women are whores!”

At that Frank almost lunged at the man, but quickly you placed your hands on Frank’s shoulder. Stopping him. 

Frank took deep breathes and you saw his hands turned into fists. He was very irate!

The men laughed so hard, holding their bellies. “What kinda man are you? Can”t even protect your whore. I mean look at ya, god must’ve hated you when he created ya. I mean he gave you an extra leg.” They all laughed again. 

You could tell Frank was trying to hold back his tears. Feeling useless. 

You became furious! You, elegantly walked up to the men. They all hushed and the leader raised his brow, thinking you were coming for some alone time. 

Next thing you knew, you slapped the man hard on the face. His eyes went red and he looked so angry. 

“You don’t ever call me that again, you hear! I am not some toy that you get to play around with. I am a woman and I should, no I deserve respect. And you should go to hell for saying those mean comments to my love!”

Everyone seeing the scene and the mob gasped. 

“Thats right, I, a woman, love him,” you point to Frank who is standing there shocked at your words. “You do not have the right to bring people down and to hurt their feelings just because they look different. You have no right! He deserves the same respect as everyone else. He is so amazing and so kind, he shouldn’t be treated this way. So I think that is enough, and if you would like another slap, you know where to find me.”

You then took Frank’s hand in yours and walked to the pumpkin to buy it. As you almost picked it up the leader of the mob grabbed it first and with a snarl said, “I don’t like your little threats whore, you best be careful what you say now, or else.”  

He then raised the pumpkin high and threw it to the ground making the pumpkin splash everywhere. 

“I was gonna buy that you monster!”

You were so excited for this pumpkin because you had wanted to make so many dishes and desserts for Frank. But now it was ruined, you seeing the pumpkin patch was empty of pumpkins. 

“Too bad,” spit the leader, giving you a hard slap on your face as well. You fell to the ground, your cheek already swelling. Your dress ruined with dirt. And the people, the people laughing. 

Frank flung himself to the leader and started punching him with all his might. Lets just say Frank was winning. Not letting the leader out of his sight. 

Just then P.T. Barnum came out with his family in the back of him to break up the fight. He held back Frank and you can tell Frank was happy to see him.

Frank looked to you feeling like he wanted to comfort you but you just stood up and ran away. 

“My love, wait, please,” you heard Frank’s calls. But you didn’t want to, you couldn’t stay anymore. 

Tears streamed down your face, they were never ending. You felt this day and age people will never understand you. You felt lost. You felt weak. You were pretending to be this tough girl when on the inside you were fragile and scared. But you don’t regret any second of it. You got your point across, you showed the world that you do love Frank, and that you would take any slap for him. 

You went to your house and hurried with your keys to unlock the door. You sprinted inside. 

In your house you felt safe and protected. Nobody could see or hurt you. 

You sat on one of the kitchen chairs and just wept. They were uncontrollable. You felt humiliated. 

“Oh god, I’m so terrible. I even left Frank there. Well, at least Phineas is there.” You spoke aloud to yourself, sniffling in the middle. You grabbed a handkerchief and blew your nose. 

You then hear your doorbell ring. You try to regain your composure and make yourself look presentable.

You look through the blinds to see Frank standing there. His hair all disheveled, his clothes out in some places. He looked very worried. 

“My love are you okay?”

You stood there, leaning on the door frame. You smiled and the tears came back, you hugged Frank crying on his shoulder. 

“It hurt me what they said to you Frank.” 

Frank nodded and placed both hands on your cheeks, kissing the swelling of the slap. “Y/n, I didn’t want you to do that for me. You got hurt because of it. I knew this would happen.”

You looked up at him and shook your head. “I did what I was meant to do, protect you. Defend you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. And I don’t care who sees anymore, I want the whole world to know that you and me are together, in love.” You laced your fingers with his, and kissed his hand. 

Frank looked at you adoringly, “are you sure, beautiful? You may regret it.”

You brought his face to you and whispered, “never.”

You and him shared a deep, emotional kiss. Some people passing by looked at you two. You didn’t care anymore, you wanted to shout to the heavens how much you loved this man. 

After the kiss Frank leaned his forehead against yours, “I am so sorry they hurt that perfect face of yours. Thank you y/n, for standing up for me today. Nobody has ever done that except Mr. Barnum. I love you so much.”

You smiled, Frank brushed your tears away. “I love you, my sweetheart.” You kissed Frank again. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Frank chuckled grabbing something from behind him. 

“What is it?”

Frank then brought out a huge pumpkin, bigger than the one you had earlier. You jump up and down in delight. 

“Oh my god thank you so much Frank! I love it, its perfect!” You hop to him, giving him a big embrace. “Its perfect,” you whispered to him. “Just like you.”

[chocosvt]

||↠11 questions tag 🖋

tagged by: @mansaeboysbe and @sunnysidewrites! thnk u my lovs.

tagging: @whatsoodo , @bfwooz , @jishua , @teeyongs + anyone else who wants to answer the questions. ill leave my own 11 for u to answer at the bottom of the post.

it’s been awhile since ive last done a tag game. i know tht im still behind on quite a few erfhnerf but ill try my best to take more initiative w/ these things. also disclaimer; sorry if my answers are kilometers long, it should be fairly obvious at this point i never shut the fuck up.

anyways, here are the q’s im answering in case u wanna see a specific answer :^)

01: weirdest present you have recieved? 02: coloured pencils, markers, or crayons? 03: what colour would you dye your hair? 04: which concept would you pick for which group? 05: sweet or sour candy? 06: favourite quirk on an idol? 07: would you rename a fandom? 08: something you want to tell your bias? 09: kpop MV you would want and not want to get stuck in? 10: an AU you’ve always wanted to write? 11: use memes to describe 2017 and how you want 2018 to go.

[01]. weirdest present you’ve ever received?

my pals and i always exchange weird presents for one another’s birthdays! it’s pretty much a tradition at this point, tho im not sure when or how it began? im pretty sure my last birthday card had caillou on it or something lol, and at one point we got our pal a can of peaches, a container of straws, tissue packages n a remote control, all with lil puns on them.

but the weirdest gift ive ever recieved? uhh, it was probably this miniature cotton candy machine tht my friends spent way too much on, primarily bc we only used it the day i opened it. u took hard candies and put them in the machine and eventually they would be spun into the actual floss tht makes cotton candy. it was cool but my mom threw it out eventually lol.

[02]. coloured pencils, markers, or crayons?

definitely coloured pencils. markers and crayons don’t rly have an exact tip. well, unless ure using a fine-tip marker. and there’s something rly satiating abt having sharp, clean writing or outlining. i was the kid who outlined all my fucking drawings and shaded them in with coloured pencils. miss me w/ tht crayon, marker shit. also, the sound wood makes when its being sharpened? tht was my favourite part.

[03]. if you could dye your hair any colour, what would it be?

honestly ive never thought of dying my hair. i like the colour how it is, which is sort of a darker blonde/slightly goldish shade. im not sure what would fit my face? i can only see myself going beach blonde. i feel like any other colour would be a disaster on my hair and i already damage it enough bc i straighten it every few days.

[04]. which concept would you pick for which group?

i know clc just did a badass concept with their “crystyle” album (which is one of the best albums of 2017 so jot tht the fuck down) and i absolutely adore their cute concepts as well bc we got bops like “pepe” n “high heels” BUT GOD I WANT THEM TO DO ANOTHER BADASS CONCEPT I BECAME ADDICTED TO IT. IT K*LLED ME TO SEE SEUNGHEE IN ALL BLACK WEARING THOSE THIGH-HIGH BOOTS I DI*ED THEN RESURRECTED IN THE SAME BREATH. i find them to be super versatile, they can go either way and ill support them no matter the concept. their quality of music never decreases. but yep, id pick another badass concept for the ladies.

[05]. sweet or sour candy?

sweet sweet sweet!! to be fair i luv pretty much all candies, minus jolly ranchers bc ive consumed so many of them tht if i see another fucking jolly rancher i will strap myself to a rocket. ANYWAYS, definitely sweet. my favourite candies (not keeping chocolate in mind bc chocolate overrules everything) would be swedish berries and werther’s caramel. for sour candies i would choose sour patch kids and sour keys!! obviously i would d*e for candy so let’s just get tht out of the mf’ way.

[06]. favourite quirk of an idol?

oh gosh. imma have 2 think for this one. the image tht comes to me exactly is junhui’s tendency to curl into whoever is next to him! most likely when he does something embarrassing, he retreats into a tiny mass of stuffy giggling and sis, it’s the best thing on the face of this planet. he’s rly such a shy flower. also, joshua’s habit of covering his mouth when he laughs is v v endearing to me. i believe it goes to show his politeness, though it can also be a characteristic of someone who’s timid, to which i think both reasons apply here. i wish i could think of more bc im certain there are a ton belonging 2 my favourite idols, but im highkey drawing a blank.

[07]. would you rename a fandom? what would the name be?

hmm. im not someone who pays close attention to fandom names. hoshi could have very well kept us as mounteens and i wouldnt give a single cherry n a half, though at this point carats is a lot more fitting and we’ve all grown attached to it. honestly, im not tht keen on red velvet and fx’s fandom names? i know tht in red velvet’s case the option “cupcakes” was up for grabs so when in comparison to reveluv’s i’m pretty thankful the latter was chosen. im not entirely sure what i would name the fandom, so respect to whoever is in charge of the titling. as for fx, they deserved to get their fanclub name much sooner. again im not someone who cares a whole lot abt fandom names, but it would have been cool if the fandom was some mathematical formula lol.

[08]. something you want to tell your bias?

BITCH. THE PRESSURE. if i were 2 meet junhui in person i would be such a nervous wreck i wouldnt even trust myself to speak. boi, if i even spotted him on the street i’d beeline in opposite direction so fast i would just be a fucking blur of light and potential tears. there would be many things i’d want to relay to him, honestly if we were just to hang out at a café or some location like tht with the time to talk and understand one another, i’d be like “hold tht thought, gerald” n drop a whole fucking novel on the table with reasons i appreciate him. i guess i’d want junhui to know how his efforts have certainly been acknowledged and that each quirk in his personality brings a lot of comfort/inner happiness to those who are still unsure abt themselves.

i’d also like for him to know tht whilst his visual is amazing, tht is not the only remarkable thing tht makes junhui, junhui. it’s his kindness, gentle heart, and optimism. essentially i’d want him to know tht his hard work is being noticed, how much delight he brings by being himself, and tht he has many qualities he should be confident in.

[09]. which kpop M/V would you want, and not want, to get stuck in?

i’ve already answered the first half 2 this question in a previous ask, but red velvet’s ice cream cake! it has to be one of my all-time favourite music videos solely bc i luv the usage of soft colours. not to mention they’re having hella fun with their fuzzy glow-coats and dancing around a parlour eating cake? like what the fuck, i don’t know what kind of cult this is but i want in! also tht means i would get to be joy’s lesbian luver and nothing else brings me greater elation.

a kpop music video i would not want to get stuck in is exo - wolf. there doesnt need to be an explanation. we already know the answer.

[10]. which AU have you always wanted to write but haven’t?

okay, first of all, bitch. there are abt one million au’s i wanna explore so inexplicably bad but i just havent gotten the time or the energy to compile the research/plan the plot. for starters, since opening this blog over two years ago, ive always wanted to write something with a serial killer. which sounds a bit scary and fucked but i absolutely lov thriller/horror movies. ive watched pretty much all of them. i find the suspension and how the scenes manipulate your body to be something unique in tht moment and to build the talent to be able to write such an AU would be my mf’ goal. it would most likely be very long and graphic, but my descriptive brain would chew tht up.

more au’s bordering along the dark line would be ghosts, vampires and demons. those are most fascinating to me. if a softer light, i’d like to write a surfer!au (specifically for joshua) and an android!au.

[11]. use a meme to describe how your 2017 went and how you want your 2018 to go.

my 2017 was somethin like this:

and i’d like my 2018 to be a lil like this:

[MY QUESTIONS]

01: would you rather explore outer space or the ocean? 02: do you wear any makeup? 03: two idol groups you’d like to collab? 04: if you could only listen to three svt songs, what would they be? 05: dusk or dawn? 06: show a picture of your handwriting? 07: what is your favourite word that’s in another language? 08: the countryside or the city? 09: what’s better in a muse, humour or kindness? 10: choose three idols. one to be your best friend, bro/sis, and spouse. 11: something you didnt do in 2017 that you want to do in 2018?

don’t feel tht this tag is mandatory! i hope everyone has been staying healthy n well n i wish for u all 2 experience good things in the new year! <3

[almightyhollands]

Strip That Down

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Could you write a smut where the reader and Peter have thus HUGE sexual tension and one day at one party with the Avengers the reader starts to dance in a really sexy way (u can choice the song, show us your playlist) and everybody (especially the booooys) is looking at her which leads to a rough jealous Peter? Oh, and can u  make her Tony’s daughter? Just bc yes. I FUCKING LOVE U I’M ALWAYS CHECKING YOUR BLOG TO SEE IF YOU POSTED SOMETHING

A/N: HI I LOVE YOU OMG okay I know ive been slacking with the whole tagging thing but that ends now i promise okay ALSO I DON’T HAVE SEXY SONGS SO I LITERALLY HAD TO ASK MY FRIEND FOR A SONG SO IF IT ISNT SEXY IM SORRY

Peter stares at you from across the room, his lips pulled into a small frown as you ignore him. He knew that you knew he was here, you had sent him a small smile and a wave as soon as he walked in. He had immediately gravitated to you, as he always did, but you were already too busy with Steve. Peter resigned back to his seat, assuring himself that the two of you would find your way together sometime in the night, but three hours later, Peter isn’t too sure that he’ll even get to say a word to you tonight. You had been far too busy for him.

You and Peter had an interesting relationship. You were friends, pretty good ones at that, but there was an undeniable tension that pulled the two of you together. At first, it was uncomfortable, and you could barely stand to be in the same room as him, but eventually you two had fallen into a teasing pattern and it had just become your relationship.

Peter is ripped from his thoughts when an unfamiliar beat starts and you laugh loudly. He looks toward you to find you wrapped playfully in Clint’s arms, the two of you singing along loudly.

“You know I’ve been taking some time, and I’ve been keeping to myself.” Peter smiles at the two of you as you dance around the almost barren dance floor. The two of you continue singing along, Clint spinning you out of his arms as the two of you dance independently, and Peter knows you’ve been teasing him when your hips start swinging and you look to him, still singing. “You know I love it when the music’s loud, but come on, strip that down for me.” You sing to him, a mischievous glint flashing in your eyes.

Peter’s suddenly glad that Tony isn’t here, because if he could see the way that Peter (and every single other person in the room) was staring at his daughter, Tony might rip him to pieces. Peter bites his lip and you grin triumphantly from the dance floor, turning away from him. He stands quickly, indignance written across his face as he takes strides to meet you, his hand outreached to grasp your wrist. You turn and smile as though you’re surprised to see him behind you.

“Peter, hey!” You exclaim, and he glares at you.

“I need to talk to you.”

Without further questioning, you let Peter drag you off the dance floor, ignoring the beating of your heart and the whistling behind you. Peter stop as soon as the door of the elevator closes behind you, pushing his chest against yours and pressing your back into the cold metal of the wall. “Hi.”

“Don’t play innocent. I know you were teasing me.” He says, and though you know he’s trying to be dominant, his voice shakes very slightly. Instead of poking fun at him as you usually would, you stay silent. He drops his forehead to press against yours and lets out a small sigh of anticipation. “I’m going to kiss you.”

Instead of nodding, you desperately reach for his lips with your own, your mouths quickly meeting in a heated kiss. Peter moans in satisfaction and raises his hands to cup your face, pulling you closer. You grasp his wrists in your hands and open your mouth when his tongue runs across your bottom lip. You turn your head to the side and search the right button to press as his lips trail down your neck, finally resting on your collarbones. When the bell dings, informing you that you’ve reached the correct floor, you pull away from Peter and lead him to your bedroom, making sure your father was down in his office as he promised. You close the door behind you and turn around to face the panting boy behind you. Rushing forward, Peter grabs you by the hips and presses his lips to yours once again, leading you blindly to the large bed against the back wall of the room. You collapse when your knees hit the mattress, Peter falling on top of you.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He informs you, breaking away to unbutton his shirt and pull it off as you worked on the zipper of your dress. Peter, who is altogether inexperienced except for a few moments of intimacy he had shared with someone he couldn’t even bother to think about while you’re in front of him, is flustered. He’s pulled all his clothes off, save for his boxers, and he’s shell-shocked at the sight of you in only your underwear and bra. You squirm uncomfortably and he reach a hand out to grasp your wrist. “No, no. Y-you look, like, really n-nice.” He stutters, and you giggle, shaking your head.

Any discomfort you may have felt has now melted away as Peter pulls you to him and presses his lips to yours, his hands moving up your arms to the clasp of your bra. He fumbles with it for a moment before the two sides are falling apart and the straps are sliding down your arms. Peter’s hands move to cup both of your breasts in his hands and you moan as his thumbs move over your nipples. You toy with the waistband of his boxers, his mouth still attached to yours. He groans and pushes the lace of your underwear down impatiently, his middle finger immediately finding your clit.

Gasping with surprise, you grip his wrist as he rubs harsh circles against the bud of nerves, and he hums contentedly. “Good?” He asks, his voice is relaxed, and you marvel at the fact he was able to go from shaking to confident in less than ten seconds.

“Good. So good.” You moan as the tip of his finger slips from your clit to your opening, teasing you. Your hips buck up and he chuckles, pushing his finger slowly inside of you, and you let out a long string of his name. “Peter, Peter please.”

“Please what, baby?” He asks, and you aren’t even sure of the answer because of how quickly your mind is spinning. He hits a particularly sweet spot with the tip of his finger and you gasp loudly, your voice shaky when you reply.

“More, Peter. I need more, I need you.” You ramble, and he grins, pulling his finger out of you and quickly testing the taste on the tip of his tongue. “Peter, please.”

He nods and pushes his boxers down, standing up quickly and fumbling to get the fabric off of his leg. You bite your lip to stifle your giggle when he falls back on top of you and he smiles, rolling his eyes.

His face loses all emotion except determination once again as he rubs his tip and up down your slit, causing a groan to fall from your lips. “What do you want?” He asks, and you turn your head, burying your face in your pillows and already blushing at your words.

“I want you to fuck me.” You say timidly, but Peter doesn’t comment on your tone.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” At your word, Peter pushes into you, pushing a loud moan out of your lips. You grip his biceps and he grabs your leg, pushing it up over his hips. You push his hips forward with the leg he had wrapped around himself and he lets out a loud groan, stilling when his hips are flush with yours. “Peter...” You whine, and he chuckles, grinding his hips against yours.

As stated before, Peter Parker was not an experienced boy. He had only had sex a handful of times, but he had a few tricks up his sleeve.

You cry out, a hand automatically reaching to Peter’s hair. He pulls his hips back, slamming them into you until your mouth is open but sounds are void. With one hand holding his weight by your head and the other gripping your headboard, Peter pounds into you with speed you weren’t sure was human. “Fuck, (Y/N),” Peter says, and you moan, far too into your own pleasure to listen to what he’s saying to you. When he hits a spot inside of you that makes your toes curl, you scream out and dig your nails into his shoulders.

“Peter, right there. Right there.” You repeat, and he nods, slamming his hips repeatedly into the same spot. Pete moves his hand from the headboard to your clit, rubbing firm circles until all you can see, feel, and hear is Peter. You cry his name and clench around him, causing him to groan and drop his head into the crook of your neck, breathing heavily and coming right after you.

As soon as he’s done, his arm gives out from below him and he falls you your side, wrapping an arm around you with an appreciative, “Wow.”

You giggle and nod. “Wow, indeed.” You smile, nuzzling under his arm. “Definitely worth the wait.” You say, and he chuckles.

“Agreed.”

TAGS: @the-things-i-do-for-love-1999 @focused-on-bands @yukanda-tsuyoi @randisnotonfire @free-the-fangirl @littlenerdgirl16 @kyleemartinez01 @cat-in-a-hoodie @ladysnowren @problemforfuturetech @thelovelyoldscentofabookshop @captain-blossom

[ask-vampire-daniel]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

((Jimothy,, no……………… but alright.))

What made you decide to roleplay this muse?

Daniel’s a nice boy and uhh ive already explained this twice so.. im not doing it again akdfjd

What made you decide on your URL name?

Well,, its an ask blog for vampire daniel so!! Pretty self explanitory

What made you decide on your blog title?

PUNS!! I JUST REMEMBERED THOSE SKELETON COMICS AND STOLE A PUN FROM IT….

also hey,, new pun:  Daniel is the best CAMPire… H A

Other characters/muns you’re interested in roleplaying with?

David, Max, any of the campers minus Dolph, and.. idk anybody else.. kool-aidcultist is my fave daniel blog tho so.. 👀👀 also that naga daniel blogs rad. Jaspers cool as well. 

Do you overthink your tag descriptions or keep it simple?

Both? Ig? I just ramble or put alternate titles 

Text format or nah? What’s your opinion on that?

I wish i could just do this blog in text format but it’d probably bore yall lmao

Favorite three icons of your muse.

How do you feel about the interpretation of your character vs the fandom?

My character for Daniel is WAYYYYYYYY off of how i actually picture him being as a human and in canon. He’s more humane here and normal but in canon id want him to act.. less that. So if this was a human daniel blog shit would be very different. Some people portray him as some really silly person behind all the child murder but.. no?? thank you????? hes very serious person my guys.. sometimes i make him ooc for a joke tho and its kinda bad lmao

What’s a thread you’d like to do in the near future?

idk really?? maybe one with plot or some shitpost thread. idk

Do you have fun RPing?

Yes as long as we’ve discussed what the rp will be beforehand. I hate random spur of the moment and pointless rps. They end quickly and usually its a bother. Some people i’m okay with rping with randomly though.

Three of your favorite threads.

I don’t have many rps on this blog but the one with sasha was nice.

Would you get along with your muse?

Fuck no he’d murder my ass

What’s an M!A that would be fun to try out?

An angsty one.. I know i have WAYYY too much angst on this blog and its annoying but.. i really love it. theres one M!A on that list that like,, has him getting flashbacks?? thats cool. Or a body swap or somehting

What’s the relationship status of your muse? Single? Taken?

Single, fucked up, yet still pining.

Are you selective?

Yea

Your muse’s theme song.

link 

fjkahfk no uhh idk i have a lot for him but heres one:

link

What’s your opinion on blog themes? How do you feel about your own?

Man i cant be bothered with that theme bullshit im just putting up a header and a colour thats it fuck everything else. Who the hell actually looks at that shit anyways?? Not me so really its pointless. Rn my theme is dull as hell,, I kinda wanna spruce it up but i wouldnt know how?? Like one of those blogs that has no icon (how do you do that?? please inform me) and a gradient. that shits rad

What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual?

Oh man theres endless shit. Actually i have to block tons of followers everyday bcause theyre a fujoshi or a maxvid shipper. Like?? read the desc bitch im checking out ur blog if u follow me asshole. So just if theyre a terf, p//edo, fujoshi, anything else like that im unfollowing and blocking

Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. (their ‘berserk button’)

Trigger his memories, hurt David, touch his wedding rings/any property (yall can still do these but he’ll probably kill you or just cry)

Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse.

Whenever I have trouble writing him, I listen to the “WE ARE ACENDANT” clip from TAZ for inspo. He’s Transylvanian, And.. he doesn’t have a job.

Where are you typing right now and where do you usually type?

on tumblr and on tumblr?

[tessaractwasp]

1-140 question meme

wait you want me to do all of them?? Ok I guess (that actually makes me kinda happy lol)

3 Fears losing people, never getting away from home, and that everyone hates me

3 things I love music, reading, writing

2 turns on intelligence, muscular, socialism

2 turns off misogyny, speech impediments, capitalism

My best friend @queercedricdiggory​   

Sexual orientation not sure tbh. Maybe pan? Maybe lesbian? Who can say. Not me.

How tall am I 5′ 2 3/4″

What do I miss right now my friend Shannon who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore

Favourite color purple

Do I have a crush yes

Favourite place nature. there’s a brook in the woods at the bottom of the hill I live on. its magical.

What am I listening to right now my spotify playlist “A Very Specific Mood Brought To You By Probably Non-Lesbian Lesbian Icons” currently Mitski’s “A Horse Named Cold Air”

Shoe size 6.5 usually

Eye color cockroach brown

Hair color brown/black (ft hidden rainbow)

Meaning behind my URL oh god I was like 15 when I made it so tesseract from the first avengers but tessaract bc my name is tessa, and wasp bc she was my favorite marvel character. 

Favourite song favorite song????? uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh right now probably Mitski’s “Pink in the Night”

Favourite band pdofjsodifjolikdsjf uhm IDK my top artists rn are Mitski, Hozier and Florence + The Machine

How I feel right now frustrated.

Someone I love @azirahell​

My current relationship status single and READY to flaMINGLE

My relationship with my parents hahahahahahahah better than most I guess. But strained af atm

Favourite season SPRING

Tattoos and piercing i have navel and ear piercings

Tattoos and piercing i want WAY more ear piercings, I wanna get that custom “constellation piercing” thing but $$$$ also tattoos for each of my immediate family members (so far a turtle and elephant on opposite ankles, a power symbol on the back of my neck probably, an origami rose on one tricep, a wolf silhouette on the other)

The reasons I joined Tumblr fandom probably? and peer pressure. thx nadia

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? only when Im actively texting someone when we go to bed

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I dont know have you? (Im kidding, I think I have tho)

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where Im going. Anywhere from 5 mins to like 1.5 hrs lmao. But on average, probably 20 mins

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven’t shaved my legs in the past three years

Where am I right now? My living room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yes

Am I excited for anything? not really atm

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? if by sex you mean gender then yes

How often do I wear a fake smile? lmao all the fuckin time

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? wow uuhhhhhhh I dont know! maybe Lana Parrilla lmao idk honestly!

What do I think about most? how much i suck lmfao

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I guess behind, but I dont mind being in front

What was the last lie I told? oh god Im taking care of my little siblings i have no idea

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends on the person but usually video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? no, yes

Do I believe in magic? not really

Do I believe in luck? depends on the day

What’s the weather like right now? warm. It’s almost 80, but its getting dark out so it feels nice.

What was the last book I’ve read? rn Im in the middle of Scythe by Neal Shusterman (bc hes putting my name in the third book in the series!!)

Do I have any nicknames? Tess, T, T-Cake, Tessticle

Do I spend money or save it? SPEND lmao

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

Favourite animal? hmmm I guess dog

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? lying on the couch on tumblr

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? oh boy idk

What is my favorite word? people have favorite words?

My top 5 blogs on tumblr bruh idk I dont pay attention to anything

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking decent already

Do I have any relatives in jail? not at the moment that Im aware of

What is my current desktop picture? Thranduil Tauriel and Legolas lol

Had sex? depends on ur definition

Bought condoms? GLOW IN THE DARK

Gotten pregnant? nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

Had job? yes

Smoked weed? yes

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

Been overweight? technically I think? But not really

Been underweight? yes

Gotten my heart broken? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in airplane? well yea but I was 4 so I dont remember it so I dont count it

Learned another language? bruh i tried

Wore make up? yes

Dyed my hair? yes

Had a surgery? yes

Met someone famous? yes

Stalked someone on a social network? who hasnt??

Been fishing? yeah but I dont really remember it

Been rejected by a crush? yes

What do I want for birthday? Idk dude thats so far away

Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

Where do I want to live when older? i have no idea

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? never snuck out but yeah Ive been caught doing “anything bad”

What I’m really bad at everything lmao. Sports I guess

What my greatest achievments are my writing probably

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me one time when I was like 14 my mom and I were arguing and she told me it wouldnt be long before I was selling myself on the streets of new york

What I’d do if I won in a lottery ugh pay off my debt and buy a few of the things i want the most

What do I like about myself hairrr

My closest Tumblr friend like tumblr-only? probably leakedinlondon bc shes the only person ive ever talked to on tumblr lmao

Any question you’d like? what

Are you outgoing or shy? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ femme wlw mostly i guess???

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no but i wish

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my friend Kate who lives in AZ now :(

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah I just did, nothing yet”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Mitski, “Nobody” Florence + The Machine, “Grace” Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby” Mitski, “Pink in the Night” Mitski, “Strawberry Blond” in no particular order

Do you like it when people play with your hair? YESS

Do you think there is life on other planets? yes

Do you like bubble baths? yes but has tiny tub :(

Do you like your neighbors? i dont really know most of them but the ones I do, yeah for the most part

Where would you like to travel? All over the place, but Cuba more than anything

Favorite part of your daily routine? cuddling w my doogggggg

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? muffin toppp

What do you do when you wake up? try to go back to sleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? yes

Do you ever want to get married? idk maybe

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? lmao yea????

Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

What are your favorite stores to shop in? theres this little like toy store but it has so many funny or adult things that I love. Its called Play

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? usually

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? only in my dreams (like literally, I dont want ppl to know what I did in my dreams)

Ever wished you were someone else? always

Favourite makeup brand? dont have one

Last thing you ate? chicken and pasta

Ever won a competition? For what? yeah, a writing competition

Ever been in love? i dont know

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? no

What colour are your towels? purple

Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream

First person you talked to today? my lil brother Ben

Last person you talked to today? talking to both my lil sibs rn

Name a person you hate? fucking CHRIS

Name a person you love? Rebecca <3 ( @parkour-margaret)

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? chris always

Do you tan a lot? BURNN

Have any pets? FOUR

Do you type fast? relatively yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? OH yeah

Ever broken someone’s heart? idk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YUP

Is cheating ever okay? it really depends on the situation but 98% of the time no

Do you believe in true love? yeah.  but not just one. everyone can have more than one

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you believe in ghosts? this question was already asked? no

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “‘Never mind, do not weep,’ answered the frog, ‘I can help you, but”

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

How did you get into writing fanfiction? Did you write before you started writing fanfiction? And how/when did you become an exo fan? Ayeeee sorry for so many questions! :P Just curious and love your work!

Ooooo this feels like an interview! Ill put a read more link because it will be long.

I’ll start with the EXO question because that was the catalyst to all of this. I wasn’t an EXO fan until 2015. Prior to that i was a fan of Big Bang though, i watched a ton of korean dramas, like seriously a ton and my vision went bad because of it, but thats another blog post. So after Answer Me 1997/Reply 1997 i became a huge fan of Seo In Guk and followed his work. His singing and his acting and i was super excited about this drama called I Remember You/Hello Monster that he was going to be in.

Well i was already on Tumblr and since i was a BigBang fan, i followed some blogs that reblogged a lot of kpop so i was AWARE of exo, and i even remember seeing that one post about “when d.o. Smiles it happens slowly and his lips tremble at first before he smiles wide” and i was just thinking “man, this fandom…” anyway i knew that kristaolu had just left and things were a bit shaky in the group and that one of them was an actor and was doing some dramas. I didnt pay too much attention until i started watching I Remember You/Hello Monster and this guy is on the screen and he looks just like any other actor yet the fucking VikiComments are going NUTS. Like they are just moving so fast about “OMO he looks so good” and “My babyyyyy” and im just like ‘wtf who is this guy?’ And then i see the word 'exo’ and then 'kyungsoo’ and i think OH this must be the EXO member who is also an actor.

Well….fucking welll….this fucker…fucking do kyungsoo is so amazing in this drama. And he’s only in it in the beginning and in small flashes throughout but he left an impression with his acting long before i ever heard a single EXO song. Long before i heard him singing for real.

Of course i resisted. It was awful. I had my mind full of Big Bang and i didnt have time for anther group and there were SO MANY MEMBERS i think it took me months to be able to tell the difference between Sehun and Luhan and it only really stuck because Luhan left.

So i gave in and went to youtube and i watched Growl and i had already become familiar with Xiumin’s face for some reason, i guess he really just stands out so i was watching him closely beause i recognized him and in my head he was the face of EXO. If i saw Xiumin then i knew that this group of a million people was EXO. So that part in Growl where the camera pans and D.O. Comes in with his part singing….that one single line. That one part was what did it. I paused the video, went back. Watched it again. And then again and again and i felt something realllllly fucking stupid inside my chest and i said “this is the actor…this is that same person. Wtf. Hes got the best voice ive heard in a really long time.” Of course I was this calm. Im always this calm when im dying inside.

Okay so i started following some EXO blogs and watching a whole bunch of videos and by the time i got around to watching all of EXO showtime, i was pretty much falling very hard for this group. They were funny. They were talented as fuck. They were charming and i was a goner. The moment when Kyungsoo left Luhan behind in the haunted house was the kicker. I was in love. Completely and totally and hopelessly in love and there was no going back.

Okay now as far as writing. I wrote a lot in school. I actually REALLY REALLY enjoyed those 10k research papers were you had to cite your sources and be all informative, and i always got good grades on them. But i also read a lot. A lot of books , a lot of fiction and I read a ton of Big Bang fanfiction. I still have my favorites from that time that I Remember very very fondly but I never really came across smut. Hahaha i dont know why but i didnt. Until EXO…because holy shit you guys….this fandom….

Anyway i was aware of fanfiction and i always loved reading and when you find a really good story regardless of it being a book or a fanfiction you kind of just become one with that story and it becomes almost a part of your soul….i was searching for that perfect exo story.

I never wrote creatively prior to Feb 2016 when i started this blog. I knew english well and i understood the general flow of a story but i was under the impression that i wasnt a good creative writer. I dont know why i had this impression but honestly i had never had enough motivation to give it a try.

But i had this idea in my head. This story that i wanted to read but i couldnt quite find anything that fit the bill and so i submitted a request to a fanfiction blog that took requests and got nothing. No response or rejection, nothing, just silence for weeks and weeks and finally i thought “wait, why am i waiting for this…i should just write it” so i sat down and i wrote the first story i ever wrote and called it Buzz and i thought “this is smut, i cant post this to my main blog….i have people there who know me in real life. Hehehe” and so i quickly created a side blog and the first thing that popped into my head was “sobadnoonecanstopher” but it was taken and i added an extra o for kyungsoo and it was available and the rest is fucking history. You guys came and were like “hey this is pretty good? Is this really your first story?” And everyone was nice and sweet and someone was all “can i make a request” and then i wrote “And There She Is” the sehun story and that one really seemed to take off and people were crying (wtf) and i just kept going. And now look at all of you....who ARE you people?!

Sorry this is so long. Bwahaha