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cicinicole-14 · 7 years ago

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coco’s college story

I just need to vent and get things off my chest. this is going to be quite long, and I’m going to add more to this, but we’re starting a new segment on this blog called #coco’s college story. I’m going to get personal and real and you don’t have to read, but I just need to write it all out. feel free to come talk if you feel inclined to. and since this will be long, I’ll put it under the cut. lets hope everything is spelled right...

college really sucks sometimes. I’m really stressed out from it and I have no idea what to do or what I am doing.

I’m going to start at the beginning, or try to at least. which, brings me to grade 11. I think this is really where it started. everyone was starting to take the ACT/SAT (American standardized tests required for most college admittance) and I hadn’t even begun to think where I truly wanted to go for college. yet some kids in my class had already started applying wtf. all I thought I knew was that a. I wanted to go out of state and b. I wanted to go far from home and c. I wanted to be a doctor.

summer of 2016 (summer after I finished 11th grade) I was in Virginia visiting my best friend Autumn (she plays a huge role in this). Autumn is 6 months older than me and would be at this time starting her first semester at GMU in the fall of 2016. so she asked me where I wanted to go to school. my reply? “haha that’s a great question!!! I have no fucking clue.” (literally word for word) and she was like “apply to GMU!!!” and I was like, “dude, Noah fence but you’re going there to be a hISTORY major and I literally slept thru that class for all of middle and high school. nah fam” and she’s like “yeah, but they have a great science program and then you can go to Hopkins after.” so I was like ok maybe. so I did what everyone does best: listed my pros and cons

pros:

going to school w/ bff since age 3

1,025 miles from home and from my mother*

good science program so I can be a dr??

location wise: gr8 bc autumn’s fam lived 2hrs north and my stepsister (who I’m close with) lived 2hrs NE and its a 2hr plane ride home to florida

cons:

is hella expensive**

1,025 miles from home

current number of people I know going to this school: 1 (and pls note: I hate doing things alone even tho I love to be alone. idk how to explain this but like like I enjoy being alone but I don’t like being alone. I know some of y’all understand this?)

leaving friends I have in florida

tbh, the pros outweighed the cons and I applied to GMU and I was accepted. (I applied to other schools and got accepted to one and denied at another because they closed the program I was applying for but I can assure u had they not, I would’ve gotten accepted)anyway, I took my ACT in October of 2016 and got accepted to gmu in December of 2016. I think that’s really when the stress started kicking in, because while I was happy to be accepted to my dream school, I had a lot of emotions I wasn’t ready for and then later on experienced them.

2017 started off decently. I went into the second semester of senior year knowing I was accepted and 100% planning on going to my dream school, ready for a new future, ready to leave Florida, excited about going to Italy that march with my class etc…

but it also brought hard times because I ended my friendship with one of my best friends in the whole world: olivia. we were inseparable and had been for 8 years and knew each other for 13 years. it was seriously really hard, especially because not only was I close to her, I was close with her mom, little brother, big sister, niece and nephews. it really sucked.

and, I had the daunting task of telling my mother I was going to Virginia for college.

now, as some of you may know, my relationship with my mother is very strained. and whenever I refer to my “parents” on Tumblr, I’m talking about my dad and stepmom, because I always refer to my mom (as mother) separately. and add to the fact, my mother flipped out on autumn’s mom a few years ago and told them to never speak to me again. so, since I was 12 years old, my mom has had no idea I’ve kept in touch with autumn and still has no idea I go to school with autumn. (my dad and stepmom love her family and her and see no problem with them same as me and she’s my best friend and my mother has issues we will not be addressing rn) anyway, so I didn’t tell my mother I got accepted to GMU until April of 2017. (mind you, I found out mid-december and my dad found out when I got the email because I made Claudia stop the car before we headed to a Christmas party lol) and so I told my mom in April that I was going to GMU and she asked me if autumn went there and I lied right thru my teeth and told her I had no fucking clue because we weren’t friends, remember? and that was one big thing that really started the stressing because a. I didn’t have olivia there as my bff to help me thru the stressful time, and b. I so badly wanted my mother to be happy for me but I knew deep down she really wasn’t because she also flipped out a bit and was like “wtf ur going to college? u leave in august?” and I was like yeah, what did you expect me to do?” and honestly, she was angry about it, but I was an adult, its my life and she had no say in where or whether or not I was going to college.

so, fast forward to college. idk how chronological this will be so we’re just going to list some stressors I’ve had with college.

it’s 1,025 miles away from home

I grew up in a town in Florida, in the same neighborhood I was brought home from the hospital in (I almost said same house, but I moved down the street long story…) I went to a preschool from ages 2-4 and then started elementary and middle school ages 5-13 at one school and then half of my eight grade class went to my high school. and I was there for four years. these people were family. out of the 7 people who went to high school with me, 4 I knew since kindergarten, one I knew since fifth grade and the other since sixth and the last one was me. and I made two friends (chelsey and Claudia) in ninth grade who are my sisters. I love them both so much. I would talk thru fire for them (and autumn, Robyn and belle ofc but we’re talking about my friends at home) anyway, I grew up there. Florida is my home. I like small places. I lived in a kinda small city in my two bedroom condo with my parents and doggo and I had neighbors who I’d known most of my life. my whole family was in Florida basically, minus my aunt (dad’s sister who we visit in NY or she’d visit us).

I was leaving my friends

I went from seeing Claudia every day in school, and once every two weeks during the summer or a few times a week because of our movie dates lol, and chelsey who graduated the year before me and lived an hour away from me at home, made it a point to still come to my school to see me and sleep over at my house, and then during the summer she came over once a week and stayed over. I saw them all the time. we’re three peas in a pod. I saw them a lot. and I only have 5 really close friends. friends I would walk thru fire for, and trust with my life. mentioned above: Claudia, chelsey, autumn, Robyn and belle. and we all have different relationships. autumn moved away when I was 11 and I coped with that in middle school (another dark time in my life) and I learned to live with that. Robyn and belle I met over Tumblr, so I’d never entertained the prospect of seeing them regularly. (tho Robyn and I have kinda made a pact of visiting each other during the summer and thus every other summer I get to see belle when Its my turn to visit Canada) but chelsey and claudia? I saw them a lot, and I hadn’t had to cope with a friend, who I saw a lot and was inseparable with, be away from me for a huge long period of time in a long time (age 11). and to add to the fact, both chelsey and Claude go to school at home and they became close with my family too so like idk it all just kinda fell apart

I get really homesick/leaving my parents and dog

this one wasn’t as bad solely because, I left home august 2nd. I was traveling by myself most of this month. I saw my parents at the end of the month when they held me move in for college. then, I got a surprise visit from them and my doggo in September because they drove up to my sister’s house 2 hrs from my school to escape the hurricane that was to hit Florida (bless, my house was fine). then I saw them again in October, because my sister got married!!! and thanksgiving I saw them again, November, because ofc its thanksgiving ill see them, even though it flew by. and now here, its December and I’m going home for a month. so I’ll see them thru January. and then lbr, because my dad works in Maryland a lot, he’s probably gong to be up north most of 2018 too and he vowed to visit me when he could because he’s a mush and misses his kid even if he denies it. also, the homesickness; I don’t like being away from people/be by myself in a house for an extended period of time, but I kinda built up my tolerance because my dad travels a lot and I have speration anxiety from it (he travelled all my life and I was left with my mother for a lot of it so stress but I built up a tolerance for it when I was like 15 and my homesickness started getting better from then on out) and like I did really well when I spent 8 days in Italy without my parents etc which I only had 1 tiny little freak out and Claudia helped me thru it and was proud at the fact that I only had one like 2 days in to the trip and was fine after that.

my life plan

holy f u c k. ever hear the saying like “you plan and god laughs”? well, holy fuck, it can’t be more true. I don’t care what god or thing you believe in, its fucking true. I’m a planner. not a detailed one, but its a rough outline, I have a plan of my life, roughly outlined; its got a few bullet points mainly looking like this:

my life:

go to college out of state

make money

be a doctor in the nicu

be a mom/foster/adopt kids

own lotsa pets

have enough money to build my own house

were going to focus on the “be a doctor” point. because this is where everything got fucked.

since I was five years old, five. I wanted to be a doctor. since that age, I narrowed down the specifics and specialty etc. I picked out what school I wanted to go to for medical school and whatnot. I’ve wanted to be a doctor since I was five fucking years old.

college has since changed that plan...

about a month into school this semester, I changed my major of–––biology degree> medical school> be a doctor to uh, now I’m currently in the pre-nursing (BsN) program at my college (and I’m minoring in photography, but that I knew about and hasn’t changed). I remember this day very clearly when I decided. it was a Monday. idk the date, but it was Monday and I was sitting in the JC (the main campus building) with autumn eating food and I was like “I’m having a crisis and I want to change my major to nursing” and so then I called my dad and told him I was going to do it. thankfully my while family was very supportive (minus my mother I have not talked to her since September[?]***)

so that happened, and threw me for a loop.

college is just extremely different in general.

I really don’t even know how else to categorize this. so here are just random things.

professors are weird. all of them. no matter their age: which this ranges too because I have some that are like two coughs away from dying and others who are literally only like 5 years older than me… fucking weird.

your syllabus is your fucking roadmap. don’t fucking lose it.

nothing ever gets graded at a decent time. I literally got two papers back without grades on them and they aren’t online either but the prof said that they’re recorded in the gradebook he has so like????

I grew up going to private christian schools since I was 2… which means no cussing in class and wearing a uniform and your parents drive you to school, we don’t have busses.

college: no dress code. I wore pj’s (with jack skellington on them) to class and Christmas and halloween printed leggings and hoodies with just a bra underneath and fucking whatever the hell I wanted to class, strapless/sleeveless dresses, whatever. my professors cusses in classes/lectures. I was taken back by this at first. but thoroughly loved the chillness and laid-backness that classes had tho because I could say whatever I wanted (vulgarity wise). and I now blame my worsening swearing habit on college because I’m not in christian private school or nannying 3x a week anymore so I haven’t needed to curb my language… walking…everywhere… I live on campus in a dorm without a car (autumn has one but we really only use it to run errands on Fridays) and damn that was a shock. because while yes, I lived in a smallish city and there was a Walmart and dollar store close to my house to walk to if I was bored, I didnt really walk much, we drove a lot. because my school was 15 miles away. and like idk nothing wasn’t super close. and now here that I live on campus, my whole life is here. I eat sleep and breathe campus, so I walk everywhere. to all my classes, to get food, well thats basically it because thats all college leaves you time for…

college is stressful.

and finally, here are more things that I wasn’t expecting.

I didn’t realize it was going to be this difficult. Im currently taking 6 classes (16 credits altogether) and out of those 6 classes, I’m currently passing 2 I think? college is fucking hard. it didn’t help that I had a few major major major anxiety attacks and literally disassociated with everything for a week, two different times, plus I got sick with a nasty ass cold, and like idk, just it sucked. I moved 1,025 miles from home and then homesickness an that reality of “I’m living a thousand miles from home by myself” hit me. and I literally know no one here except autumn who I see once a week on Fridays. (because we both have off) and like it killed me. I left my only home I’ve ever known. I moved my whole life here. and I had a shocking realization that yeah, I’m going to Florida during breaks and whatnot, but I left Florida August 2, 2017 and I knew it was for good. I packed up my whole room last summer and knew that when I got on the plane, I wasn’t going to ever be coming back home home for good. I left my keys on the kitchen counter and said goodbye to my room. and yes, its still my room, but it’s been a guest room for the past few months and its not my room anymore. I did move out. and so that hit me too.

and I’m alone here. I had a mental breakdown one day when I was texting chelsey and Claudia and all I really wanted was a hug from them but they’re a thousand miles away and couldn’t give me one, so I was stuck crying in the middle of our campus chick-fil-a. and so I texted autumn at 9am on a Thursday and she came in her pj’s and walked across campus to give me a hug so I could hug her, cry on her shoulder and breathe a little easier.

and while I know this decision to move states away and leave everything I’ve ever known was hard, I know it was the right decision and the best decision I ever made, and the scariest.

I know that because if I went to school at home, I would Never have ended up moving out. I know I needed to experience college dorm life, and living by myself more, and being independent. I know for my health––mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally––it was for the better. mentally: I am able to escape my mother being here where she can’t visit me or I won’t run into her here. physically: I walk everywhere and I’m attempting to eat healthier etc… spiritually: I’ve had a rough time with my faith, but I’m a christian and like autumn helps me a lot with this in strengthening my faith etc etc, (I’m more spiritual than religious) and emotionally: I’ve been able to heal and accept who I am, and I came out as bi to my friends, currently 4/5 of them and all of you guys. its a new zone here and I can live and be free and be me. I don’t have to worry about the people I knew from high school judging me because I’m bi and we went to a christian school etc. I’m who I am here and my decision to move here has helped me grow.

and also, yeah, I’m stressing currently about my future, but I’m going to take it a day at a time. I’m failing classes right now, but I’ve realized thats because I haven’t been on my A-game. I went thru a major life change, I’ve had a bit of family health issues, I’ve had to deal with a lot of issues and stress surrounding my mother and my relationship with her since starting college, and like a lot more, and so I have decided that while I had a mental breakdown about not making it into the nursing program, I’m going to take it slowly. fuck doing this all “fast and in four years and yada yada”. Its only been one semester, this is a whole new ballgame for me. college is so different from high school. so, I’m going to be better next semester, focus more on my passions, maybe take summer classes, and not pressure myself to be in the nursing program in my 3rd year, take my time. there’s no rush.

notes:

*– mother and I have a very strained relationship due to her years of mental abuse (and very little but still prevalent physical abuse) towards me. I’ve been trying to get out from under her thumb since I was 10. moved in with my dad when I was 12 but since he travelled for work a lot, I stayed with mother etc until I was about 15 when I stayed with friends or by myself. and so being away from her like this has only brought peace and less fights because I don’t have to see her or talk to her

**– college out of state tuition is hella fucking expensive, but thankfully, my granddad had set aside money for his grandkids (there’s only 2 of us, me and my cousin Kiersten who is out of college now) and has put us thru school (private school) our whole lives. we have been blessed so very graciously with being able to go to any school we chose debt free because our grandpa has it covered no questions asked and truly its the best thing ever because while I grew up not worrying about tuition, I still grew up with a tight family income because mom had a fixed income and then when I moved in with dad, he worked for himself, so he has seasonal work… some months its great, other months were scrounging for the last few dollars to put food on the table…

***–since moving to college and being out from under my mother’s thumb, I’ve been talking with my parents (again remind u this means dad and stepmom) about me needing to learn to heal and forgive and just live my life and I can’t do that if I keep having my mother call or text me or expect me to visit her etc… I’m an adult. I’m going home this Christmas to tell her that if she wants to be my mother in the long run, she needs to play by my rules, and this is now going to happen my way. I need to cut contact with her for however long. and she’s not to reach out to me. I need to be the one to do it because if she pushes it, our relationship is so strained right now because of her actions, if she attempts anymore, she’s going to lose me forever as her daughter and deep down, we both don’t want that. so I need space and need to learn how to forgive her. and she needs to get help and learn to be a better person herself. she needs to do a lot of things I’m not going to get into here but yeah, basically.

so that’s it. this was really long and I’m sorry about that. if y’all feel inclined to talk to me about any of this, feel free to do so. I needed to talk through this. I’m probably going to talk about #coco’s college story a bit as my life goes on. I will keep everyone updated. college is stressful, and crazy, and scary and wild and fun and terrifying and a lot of emotions mixed in one

xx cici

#coco’s college story #personal

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survivormontenegro · 5 years ago

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Episode 8: “#StayLowAndGoGoGo” - Tom

I MADE IT WOOOOOOOO MILESTONE NUMBER 2

WE MERGED. THANK THE LORD, THE STARS AND EVERYTHING ABOVEEEE.

okay and thoughts. so evan went byebye, which was what needed to happen, super sweet, but him leaking stuff was really a mess. Merge is so exciting, I already love Caeleb, Jones & Mo, three legends already yay!

IM ALSO BACK WITH BENJ MY KING! I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH.

MERGE I AM SCREAMING!!!

I am sorry Evan, we did 100% throw this challenge but hey ajdjdjf even tho we threw this challenge it was a freaking 5-4 points LOL thank god I didn’t do more than just put Marcus Lehman.

Let’s go merge, thank god I didn’t turned into pre merge flop!!

MERGE!!!!!!

IM REUNITED WITH ALI!!!!!!!! KING!!!!!!!!! im so excited omg so we had a HUGE catch up told each other all the tea of each others tribes

He suspected I was the flipper but doesn't care LOL so yay!!! Ugh I have missed him its so great to have him back as someone I can fully trust and rant to about everything! I also had Jones queen to help get me thru the tribe, just wish she replied more lol! ily guacamole . mitch also great, so glad he survived the budva decimation that I caused oops

I don't think anyone suspects me n ali are close, and everyone thinks Julia/ian/Jason are a trio and either ian or Jason have the idol LMAO this is so funny. I was even on call w the tribe and we were discussing it im thinking lolllll ik ali has it and no one else rlly does wowow

we think alex has durmitor idol bc . apparently it was not found pre swap, caeleb claims he made the end but it was gone, jones and mo don't seem active enough to guess

reunited w ian king aswell hes great, gonna meet some new ones like jules aka almia queen and tom the Australian he was cool on the call so its good ik everyone so far on this tribe except 2 ppl really, while 8 people on the tribe have not meet 4 others so I hope im connected well?

I honestly don't know what will happen from here . like is it og vs og tribe? swapped tribes? something new? IDK! All ik is my top 3 allies are ali jones mitch and I want to try get us far !! but idk how to do that so...… stay tuned

Still can’t get over that I made merge AHHHH

But wait...

THIS IS A CONSPIRACY THEORY BUT THE FREAKING COLOR OF THE MEEGE TRIBE IS SIMILAR TO MEEGE IN SWITZERLAND???! AND THE TWO STARTING TRIBES WERE LITERALLY ALMOST THE SAME COLOR. THIS WILL NOT END LIKE SWITZERLAND, IF IT DOES I AM GONNA CRY.

Anyway I got in touch with Mitch and Benj. I talked with Mitch first then I learned it was Benj who flipped during the Noah vote. I mean I honestly thought it was Mitch ahsjdjd but I guess the talk I had with Benj about rocks/ties back then was an omen. Anyway Mitch tells me he forgives Benj so I guess that’s something? Julia confirms to me that Mitch is saying the same thing to her so ok. I then chatted with Benj and he did tell me he was the one who flipped because he was not close enough with Noah to go to rocks for him which is understandable but I’m still weary on Benj.

Tom then tells me Mo and Caeleb are grilling him for JJ and Evan’s demise. Right now Tom feels that Mo/Caeleb/Alex/Jones are a thing and that they’re just using Benj. That’s kinda a good info to use to get benj on our side??

Anyways I don’t know if this is alarming or what but on the tribe call Tom told Mitch and Benj he knew about the Budva idol being found because Julia told JJ and then told everybody. I think Mitch and Benj were shocked that Tom knows? Idk I maybe paranoid but let’s see

Right now me, Julia, Jason and Ali are trying to hide the fact from Benj and Mitch that we made sort of a pact with Tom and Jules to vote together come merge. I trust Tom to know that I think he will vote with us but idk about Jules. Tho Julia and Jason seem to trust her so I hope she sticks with us!!

youtube

Last minute additions -

I got a vote cover from the choosing thing!! Drew didn’t really tell me what it did but if I had to guess what it was I’d say it’d be like,, a dark week thing where votes won’t be revealed? Who knows tbfh

SO I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE WITH WRITING CONFESSIONALS, but this is my first Survivor game, I'm not used to using Skype and it's weird having to type it to a whole other window just to get a confessional but WHATEVER ILL TRY TO DO AT LEAST ONE A DAY. Even if it's just like about random shit! Even it's just an astrology lesson! Anyways JJ, I mean, Alex is coming at me saying he thinks it's 6v6 now and i'm like......who's gonna tell him. BECAUSE EVEN IF IT'S ME NOT DOWN FOR OG DURMITOR ( i love them but game wise idk if i can hang with them ) I DAMN WELL KNOW other people might not be down for that. I'm just tired of the assumptions though I know Alex means well I'm just TIRED ugh he's a pisces moon too so he'll sense it from me so I better act NOT ANNOYED but I can't help it UGH. Did I miss the people from OG Durmitor? YES! Did I miss the gameplay and none of them calling out JJ on his shit and being surprised that JJ got out for being a crackhead? NO. NOT AT ALL.

okay so merge and I have lots of thoughts, i am gonna do it person by person so i cover it all ahh.

Alex C: Okay he lowkey terrifies me ahh. Like he is quite gamey, and both Mitch & Jules have said he is kinda leadery and potentially a bit pushy? I see him as an early merge boot (ideally), because I think he'll get a lot of attention on himself? He is fun though, and I like talking to him - we will see, maybe if idk Jones/Mo/Caeleb goes he will be a more workable ally from an underdog spot?

Ali: trash, disgusting, send him home, I never want to see that mess...

Benj: a KING, I have missed Benj so MUCH. He is such a, SUCH A KING, i love him, I'm so happy we are back together. I think he could be a great duo for me, since us two being close can be kept quite lowkey ha! We will figure it out, but he is going NOWHERE on my watch

Caeleb: Okay he is like... one of the only other newbies left in the game, and is potentially quite lowkey, so I'd like him to stick around for a while I think ahh! He seems super sweet, and could be someone to go to the end with if my faves go bye bye.

Ian: I've said it since round two, and I will continue to say it. Ian is the biggest threat in the game, I've been knew and I'm not dropping it. I will not allow him to go far, like he is super nice, but also... we are not allowing a threat like Ian to walk to the end.

Jason: Similar to Ian, I'm really feeling duo vibes with him and Ian, maybe even a trio with Julia I'm not sure? He scares me less than Ian, and I'd probs want Ian out first versus Ian? He still is also a king tho, even though I always get vibes that he doesn't like me eeeek

Jones: A legend! I can tell already, I fully get legendary vibes from her. But like... it makes me upsetti spaghetti that I really don't think I can let her get too far, like she... is someone I could see as a season winner, so she might need to go sooner rather than later, although getting her out might be easier said than done tbh

Jules: Okay an icon. Jules we LOVE in this house. I literally stan Jules with my 100% full heart, they know ALL and on my watch? they go NOWHERE. my clout is being used to keep an eye on Jules, even tho they are a much better player than me, and they will be able to watch their own back and go super far

Julia: Witch queen. I want her to go really far too tbh, like I love her and am so happy we have actually been able to work together this season. She told me about her self-vote thing she got from the merge feast, which is a big trust display. I think if I can get her woke about Ian/Jason, she could be a big ally and super important about my game long term. I think if we can get Alex C out particularly (since apparently they have history), then maybe she will be more willing to FINALLY make a move on them.

Mitch: I'm always sketched out by him KASDFA. Like I think he would work with me for sure, but I also like... don't know sometimes, like... he knows I was gonna vote him out premerge, can that go away? I think he could be a good ally moving forwards though , we will have to see.

Mo: MY SON. I MISS HIM. I'M SO HAPPY HE DOESN'T HATE, I THOUGHT HE DID. Its super exciting and like I said before, he is doing super good this season and I'm super proud of him. I wanna go far with him, but I think not being on a tribe with him till merge could be an obstacle to that ahh :(

Tom: Tom is a mega-cracked king. Like he is SO entertaining, and on a personal level I really vibe with him. I will not do him dirty, and I wanna go to the end of this game with him. We will see what happens, would love to be a juror voting for him at the end.

So overall final thoughts. I have a dream F4 alliance of 'The Flippers and the Flop' aka me, Tom, Jules & Benj, since those three flipped on their original tribe and I'm a flop. So I want that as F4, Julia at F5 (but maybe further, I love her too), and then for the rest:

6th: Mo 7th: Caeleb 8th: Mitch 9th: Jones 10th: Jason 11th: Ian 12th: Alex C.

We will see and figure it out and be flexible. Its gonna be a mess, but we will see. I just wanna make confirmed jury, then I just wanna play a bomb game, like finalist-schminalist, i just wanna end the season and my game not being an actual joke KASDFLAS.

hi i just wanted an idol

Okay so i dont know like when the last time i did one of these was but lets just start at last tribal council; I am lowkey so glad that evan is gone and we didnt try anything too fancy he really would've made merge that bit messier. But uhm also why the heck did he have to vote me grrr i wanted to try to not get any votes for a really long time but oh well cant have everything good happen in life.

M E R G E!!!!!!!! Yesssss finally merge has happened the playing field is even and i am ready to rumble. Bit nervous to see where abouts i stand in the tribe because i didnt feel very included in the original durmitor tribe and there are two people i havent met in benj and mitch.

Okay so like wtf is going on right now, sure say hello and all that shit but why is Mo, Alex and Caeleb like proper interviewing me, who do you think you are ELLEN? No youre not please stop investigating on what happened between jj and evan vote offs like i do not owe y'all anything..... i was probably going next if we didnt have that first swap! I am more than happy to tell them like what happened just it will be altered in favour of myself and they wont get the full indepth explanation.

Sorry I don’t have a vid confessional today laid ease

But um ya I think I’m getting TARGETTEEEEEEEEED or at least someone within the durmitor dominators group is. WHich is SKETCHY!! Idk it just feels really obvious since that core group of 4 literally,,, tag teamed all 4 of us first ,,, hello??? Mam?? I get we just met like 2 days ago but you could be a lil more discreet ab everything 😤

But ik we can’t just assume based on that,, If we’re just going by that logic then their hitlist is Alex, Caeleb, myself, then Mo. but idt it could be that,,, concrete?? They could just be playing us like Noah/Michael/Mitch TRIED to do before,, but we got them so ya 🥰 anyways,,

If we can somehow get a plan out of them or at least a name then we’ll be ok,,, that way we’ll at least know what’s going on for SOME PART. Mitch and julia seem kiiiind if close? So hopefully she’ll tell him some shit and come back to me ab it - if I have to play the idol then,,,, I guess,,, I will,,, but I don’t want to. Like let me save it for when IM in trouble at least sksksk who knows,, maybe I AM in trouble and I’m just a crackhead 🤷🏻‍♀️

But ya that’s my rant I’ll be back soon laid ease mwah

Okau so like woo! i won the first immunity of the season how bloody exciting! I honestly was confident going into the challenge however i didnt know whether or not i was going to win. I love the fact that i got shot 0 times so i literally could've gone asleep and potentially still won lol. But at this point my mission of staying low and go go go'ing has to be intact i cannot seem like a big threat in this game it doesnt get me far. So im telling everyone that im surprised and that it was really just based on luck and based on nothing so my target does not grow! So glad to have immunity in this game honestly first merge boot probably wasnt going to be BUT i know this round can get fucking messy so anything could've changed #StayLowAndGoGoGo

okay this is a grr grr angry confessional. WHY IS EVERYONE BEING DUMB AND JUST BEING ATTACHED TO TRIBE LINES. Like I messaged Jones, Mo and Alex about it yesterday, and Jones my meme queen gave like a good response, but Mo particularly I was like... wut?

Like Mo is my org son from all the way back in Azores, so I always have his back... but like... when someone messages you about being uncomfortable with tribe lines and not wanting to stick to them, giving the HEAVIEST HINT POSSIBLE that I'm not attached to like Ian and Jason, your response should not be 'I'm just accepting my fate'... Like that is such a red flag to me, no player should just... be resigned to stuff? Like Mo PLEATHE.

In other other news, we love Jules still. Tom is being weird recently, I think he doesn't trust me anymore, so I think my dream at the moment is a F3 of Jules and Benj, Tom 4th and Julia 5th? Mitch terrifies me (and he knows I shot him, which caused even more distrust), Alex is super nice but is like... evidently not trusting of me, Mo is my son but I wanna SHAKE HIM, Jones is my fave I love her already, really like Caeleb too he is so nice.

I'm just frustrated, I feel like.. people aren't willing to do enough and its making me frustrated I just wanna scream. Like at this point, I expect to go midjury, like 9th, and I'm thinking who I'd vote. I would vote Jules, because they are always on the ball and their read is unmatched, I'd vote Ian because he has playing smart since round one, I'd vote Benj because he is one of the few that has his head screwed up about not blindly sticking to tribe lines.

Of the rest? I'd like to vote for Tom/Jones, but would probs need to see more gamey game from both. I could respect Mitch's story to get to the end, but don't necessarily see myself voting him. I could vote Julia or Jason. The one who is currently least likely to get my vote is probably Mo, I am just... frustrated with him. Like he could do SO GOOD, I just wanna give his head a proper wobble, like.... LISTEN TO ME. I am telling you I would flip just READ KSALDFA.

I ranked who I'd vote for in FTC if I was a juror so far and its currently:

Jules > Ian > Benj > Mitch > Julia > Tom > Jason > Jones > Alex C. > Caeleb > Mo

And the order in which I trust people is:

Jules/Benj > Julia > Tom > Ian > Jason > Caeleb > Jones > Mo > Alex C. > Mitch

I have thoughts. I know its been a hot sec since I have sent one in but I have been just busyyy. So this one might be long and it'll have all my thoughts post-merge.

My first thought: Being reconnected with old tribemate (Jules and Tom). I love Jules. She's so kind and wonderful, might be hard to reach occasionally but when she messages its always full and heartfelt. I think that can go a long way in this game as she's fun to talk to and makes you feel like she's with you. So that also mean shes very dangerous of course. Tom is less so fun. He's kinda sarcastic kinda hard to read kinda edgy. He always acts like he's a little too busy for things. But he is fun and he has fed me a lot of information about Budva post swap, so thank him for that. BUT I'm like lowkey really annoyed with him. Losing that last challenge on purpose was dumb as hell. I know Evan is deceitful and hard to work with, but like hell keep that in your head and get him off as an easy vote right after merge. Because If they hadn't lost and instead we had gone to tribal (Durmitor), then we hopefully would've lost Mitch, secured the dynamic as 7 OG Durmitor vs. the 5 OG Budva, and it would have been much harder for Tom and Jules to chose the Budva members over the numbers. Obviously this works best for me and OG Durmitor but that just means that I don't know what Tom and Jules are thinking and overall that means I can't really trust them.

Second thought: That challenge was actually really fun. It put this merge into perspective and CLEARLY showed where people are at right now. The fact that OG Budva was so organized in their slaughter and got out Alex like hella fast and then me before we got out any of them was so showing. They are tight and they will remain to be tight. The fact that they were able to be so coordinated seems scary as well. AS it might mean that Tom or Jules or even Mitch or Benj is actually working with them to make sure we didn't win that immunity. Plus Tom won it and that is scary to me because I already was wary about trusting him in the first place. Putting thought one and two together makes me wary overall, because that means that together Tom and Jules and Mitch and Benj might be choosing to work with old Budva (I mean Tom and Jules don't have any inhibitions about voting out old tribemembers so) and old Durmitor might just be screwed.

Third thought: Annoyed that I was shot and destroyed second. I thought I was making a good impression with everyone. Maybe its not a good indication but also sad face.

Fourth thought: New tribe members! I love them all to an extent. Ali seems to be fun to talk to and likes chatting back and forth. But also he did say he was surprised I was out so early and since I know that Alex didn't shoot Julia then he was definitely shooting me. So I don't think I trust that all too much and he might be too sneaky. Jason seems nice. Not much to say our conversation has been pleasant but only so. The same with Ian tbh. They seem cool but thats it. Julia is fun and her background makes her seem like a total bad ass and a really cool lady, but she's been soooo hella dismissive of me. I don't like the way she's playing the game. I think she's putting on an act and playing a character to throw people off. I heard she was like sad or crying(?) that someone shot her and Tom confronted me about it. And sure I shot her but like hell thats the game. I'm 90 percent sure she was shooting me. I'm annoyed, and people seem to love her which just makes me think she's being dismissive to me because she thinks I won't be around too much longer and she doesn't have to put in the effort. And that's dumb, like if I do go I really hope this is the start of the Jury because I will have something spicy to say to her in the event she makes it to Final Tribal. Or maybe things will change and I will learn to really like her and stuff.

Fifth Thought: Game plan for tomorrow. My strategy going forward is simply to be not targeted tomorrow. That is truly the crux of it, because at this point I think I might get votes. I know that apparently I have a habit of getting votes in a new tribe (David and then Noah) so honestly I can see it happening, especially if they are worried about Alex having an idol and they got him out of the challenge first just to vote me. But if I can survive then I think I can go a little farther. The power struggle right now is 3 groups of 4 battling. There's the total Budva members, the total Durmitor members, and then the middle ground (Jules, Tom, Benj, and Mitch). I asked Tom who was more important the original tribes or the new ones and he said he wants it to be old but most likely will be new which basically means that he will vote with Budva. So in the event I survive with numbers I'll ride that until I need Alex (and his idol that I'm prettttty sure that he has but I can't be sure) out and will try to rally that we need him to be gone. If I survive but I'm not on the side of the numbers I wanna create a good bond with Ali and Jules as were all newbies and work that until we can start eating Budva from the inside. I'll see though DKSDSKDSK. I don't think it would be wise to concrete that before this first vote because their reasons for voting off JJ and Evan was apparently that they were making alliances with everyone. I don't want them to see me that way.

Sixth Thought: Okay another Idol Bridge BIG OOF. Those are hard as hell, and I am so confident that both tribe idols are gone which means there might be 3 idols out there pretty soon which is scary as hell. Durmitor Dominators are hoping to work together to get it and maybe we can actually use that together rather than having it hidden like this time. (Which I really think that Alex has it but whatev). If I'm idoled out imma be so sad but like also okay thats an okay way to go.

Have fun with this. Feel free to chop it up into mini confessionals or use it in its entirety. Up to you! Love ya hosts ur beautiful

okay a gamey and a dumb update.

julia proper wants to flip on ian and jason which iconic... its truly time. I wasn't necessarily going to vote them out first, but if that's what is gonna happen, that is what's gonna happen.

in a memey update, JJ just got cast in another game and it reminded me of a JJ-ism I never confessed about. JJ was on call and showing me... a pet in a glass box, but i didn't know what the pet was or what it was supposed to be, because I couldn't see it. but he was like wow isn't it cute, so i fully called a stick which was the only thing i could see, cute. a STICK.

anyway so like.... back to game. i think the merge boot will be ian or jason which dun dun dun! its probs overdue and will happen, or it'll be me! we will see anyway

why am i drinking white wine with julia on call at 3am, we are truly the wine mum duo drinking our way till the end

I think I'm in the middle of everything atm, which is a weird place for me to be. I'm not in the center, I'm not looking from the outside in, I'm not really a part of anything major or in any alliances and it's an odd feeling. I know I need to do something to secure myself in something but everything in this game just feels up in the air, it's odd. I don't know if it's just how Survivor is, but it's a very strange feeling not having a proper grasp on what's going on with EVERYONE. I have ideas but not a lot of real confirmation for much besides Jason/Ian, Mo/Jones, etc. Anyways. IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY OKAY I'm boring AF this game

Ok so for starters the immunity challenge ended after 2 hours of its posting adhgfjgs Tom won so big woo for him.

The Budva baes agreed to target Alex/Mo/Caeleb/Jones in this challenge and we got Mitch, Tom and Jules to work with us. Well kinda because the four (Me, Ali, Julia and Jason) of us were the ones who did most of the shooting to eliminate the Durmitor four and we just like went back and forth eliminating one another. I was the first to die in my group so big yikes!! I don't know if that's an omen idk but I do know that I was killed by grandma jones. So I killed grandma too oops!

Anyway, fast forward to today. I got an idol clue from the Hamburger but idk if this will help me get the idol hfjhsgf. So I shared it to Budva Baes and with Tom. Who knows we might get it idk.

In other news, on call Jules flipped because of an earthquake jgfjshgf

A tribe call happened that had almost everyone except Jones and Benj join which lasted about like 3-4 hours?? Anyway, me, julia, jules, jason, ali, mitch and alex played cards against humanity so that was fun!

After Alex and Jules left the call, the five of us who remained then proceeded to plan for the vote. As of now I think we're gonna throw our votes towards Caeleb because apparently he doesn't talk to them that much? I do talk with Caeleb but nothing game related so I guess I'm on board with that. We're not gonna target Alex rn because Julia mentioned that Alex might wanna work with budva people? or that maybe just a ploy, either way Julia and Mitch thinks Alex has the durmitor idol so that's something to be weary.

If I had my way I want to target Jones because during the call, Mitch and Julia expressed how they want her to stay and how they insta love her and to me that's kinda dangerous. But rn I don't think the numbers are their for me to go after Jones. Another hot topic on the call we had was Benj. I'm really becoming more weary of Benj because umm idk even tho we talk I feel like he's hiding something.

So far, the plan is for Julia to approach Jules about voting Caeleb. Jules is important for this vote because she's like in the middle rn and we need numbers. Also ghasgdd julia got a freaking auto-vote on herself for this incoming tribal council so we are screwed if they vote for Julia. Tom is also important but me and Jason have an alliance with him that Ali and Julia are not aware of so he's good hopefully.

Anyways as of now, the plan is Caeleb (which kinda sucks because I kinda like him) but who knows whats gonna happen. Just hope things go in my favor for this vote.

Apparently I’m a secondary target for the vote, but I’m like oddly at peace? Maybe it’s because I’m super tired but being anxious is never fun so I’m relieved that I’m so calm.

This tribal is so freakin messy. Literally everybody be crackheads and I am a freakin crackhead. I knew Mitch was gonna do me in again, I am sad that JJ blew up chances with Tom working with us, and I can't trust Jules because she's right in the middle. I think Benj is still with us. But gosh they'll vote me tonight and I wannnnna survive. If only I could like strongarm whoever has this freakin idol into playing it for me.

Anyways, I love Grandma's boys. They're all sweet and nice and wonderful and I want us to get this to work out. I hope Alex can work his magic, but also I hate that this has turned me into someone who is just riding the coattails at this point. Maybe I need to do some FREAKIN crackheadidness but hell we'll freakin see.

ALSO

Jones has the IDOL OOOOOOOOOO. I think she might play it for me if things are looking bad. Literally my grandma is the most amazing I love her. Things be crazy and cracked here in Podgorica but the spice is nice.

youtube

okay this confessional is a call out post, to basically the entire cast except for jules and benj. like its negative and mean, so I'm gonna scream, and then write some actually strategy and smart stuff KLDSAFAS.

Julia. I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART, but. You have got us into such a pickle and are playing the middle too aggressively, dragging me kicking and screaming with you. Why would you make a Budva chat yesterday, to flip on it TODAY, that is such, SUCH a quick turn around

Alex. You are so sweet, and I really enjoyed the call yesterday, but you are already terrifying as an ally and are giving off JJ game vibes. This 'alliance' I'm in, of Jules/Julia/Me/Alex/Mo/Jones... terrifies me, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING. And then I love how Alex was like 'lets vote out someone from each side across two rounds' and then like... suggests Jason, a) one name b) one vote. And then it's like... he goes okay maybe Mitch the following round? Another OG Budva? I have to laugh, I have to LAUGH, this alliance is so fake askdlfaf. I love everyone in this alliance as people, but as allies I'm not feeling it.

Jones. You are a legend, and naming my plants was so fun, but you go so crickets its really scary, like it just looks SO sus. I wish you were more open gamey, I really wanna work with you grrrr.

Mo. Mo is my son, and I love him, but oh. my. god. is he frustrating to play with JLSAKDFAF. I have never played with someone who is so passive and who literally... does not say anything. Like on calls, he is so fun because he is the sweetest and a great guy, but his only comments and contributions have been 'I think I am going' and 'I have accepted my fate'. mo, MO, you can't be doing this and pulling these shenanigans, you are so likable just... give it a go and play the game HNNNGH.

okay that was mean and negative but I fully needed to scream. To clarify my situation, last night Julia made a chat of all the Budvas - Benj after the call, and we settled on voting Caeleb? But Julia wants to flip, and formed this group with Alex of them two, me, Jones, Jules & Mo. Like Julia, I get playing the middle, but this is playing. the. middle. I didn't want to be in such a middle position I hate this so much SKADLFASF.

It's really frustrating. I want Ian/Jason/Alex out because they all terrify me on a game level. But Julia has put us in the middle in a way that we are gonna have NO NUMBERS TO MAKE A MOVE UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Like I just wish she ASKED me before she made a group with Alex that I got dragged into.

I feel like me and Jules have to just... get in with Mitch. Its the only way. And Caeleb too I guess? Like I think the alliance I'm going to need is like... Me/Tom/Jules/Caeleb/Benj/Mitch... like that's a 6, and with Julia might be the numbers we need going forward.

I'm like... not gonna win this season I know it already. Jason is gonna be furious with me, as is Ian. And then I'm gonna have to flip BACK in two rounds. This is literally the exact game I've played before that hasn't worked.

Having said that, the main thing I did wrong before was that I didn't own my moves. So I need to own it, when I vote out Jason I need to talk to Ian and pull me in, so we can just... remove Alex. I just want everyone gone already askdlfa, its so so so tiring.

Here is what I want to happen now:

Ian > Alex > Jason > Mo > Jones > Mitch > Caeleb > Julia > Tom > F3: Me/Jules/Benj

but like... its just... im in such a bad mood about all this, its really... just enough.

Also for the funsies, if I was a juror, at FTC from most to least, this is who I'd vote for so far:

Jules > Benj > Mitch > Ian > Julia > Jason > Tom > Caeleb > Alex > Jones > Mo

So this tribal is shaping up in our favor... hopefully. I think Jason's for sure going now at least. It should be a 9-3 vote if everyone's telling the truth... which would make it so easy to split the votes because I'm pretty sure Jason or Ian have the idol. The most we can hope for is make them think Caeleb is going home for sure.

Pray for me. I don't wanna be a merge boot. I feel like I have a lot more game to play.

im about to save jason and fix all my problems.

i'm gonna push the vote onto ian, saying jason is very nervous and seems like he will play an idol, pushing the vote onto ian. Then I will tell Jason before/after (to be decided) the vote that I saved him, thereby securing his trust so that we can make a move on Alex next round.

I have NEVER played so aggressively, and tried to take control so much in the vote, but Julia put me in a crap situation. But I'm not gonna like... sit here and have it happen, I am here to play a good game, I said so in my application.

I think this is the way of ensuring minimal blood on my hands, and I've wanted Ian out since round two KLASDFA.

I wake up and I then learn that HOW IN THE WORLD ALEX KNOWS THAT CAELEB IS A TARGET THIS ROUND???

Mitch told him? Like what the hell is happening???! I talked with Alex and he says he’s ok with Caeleb which is really weird??

Tom then goes online and tells me Alex has been going around telling people different names and he told Caeleb my name >.>

AND NOW JULES AND BENJ ARE MIA AND ITS REALLY SKETCHY

I am gonna get voted!! I can feel it ahsjdiff so much for my never voted out status :(((

50 minutes till tribal and the plan is to vote out Jason but make Jason think it’s Ian or Caeleb? Unless I’m getting blindsided which in that case, well done. I’m really tired and I just want some Mac and cheese and a nap.

why is the one time alex and jones pip up to squash my beautiful plan. like go back to being crickets at all signs of game talk thank you very much.

alternatively... tom and jules could come in clutch, flipping caeleb to vote out alex that works too.

i'm annoyed with jones/mo/alex they can go. like i've wanted jason and ian out as a duo for ninety-five years, but maybe i wanna keep them around.

Jones is fuckinf PISSED

THESE BUDVA ARE CRACKED AND WANNA CHANGE THE VOOOOTE SKSKKSJSJSKSJ WE HAVE LITERALLY 40 MINUTES

If Jason idols himself, I’m idoling Caeleb and I’m gonna gonna kill someone

If Jason idols Ian and we get Jason out I’m laughing my ass off

If Jason idols himself and I idol Caeleb and I’m SOMEHOW IDOLED OUT then fuck that shit I’ll literally kill someone

I just wanna tell these Budva in space jam then it’ll be ok

I DO NOT WANT TO BE VOTING JASON AT ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO GET ALEX THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BUT NO CAELEB APPARENTLY WANTS TO VOTE JASON I HATE THIS THEY REALLY ARE TRYING TO GET MY HOMIE JASON OUT!!! WAS I CONSPIRING AGAINST HIM AND IAN ALL WEEK? MAYBE SO! BUT I DON'T WANT HIM OUT YET!!! I DON'T!! WE ARE TRYING TO BLINDSIDE ALEX BUT THIS AIN'T WORKING UGHGHGHGHG *STOMPS ON THE GROUND* UGHGHGHGH I HATE THIS GOODBYE

me flipping my vote to make it a 5-4-3-1 sending Ian out... I'm either the second coming of Natalie Anderson or 11th place.

The moment Mitch, Julia and Ali stopped responding to me and Jason I felt it. That we were being bamboozled and it looks like we did.

Tom and Jason were true to me and the end and I love them for that. Screw snake Julia because she really fucking played me like a fiddle lol and fuck Ali, mitch and benj hahahahahahahahaahahahahahHaha Because it really hurts! Alex is a scheming lying bitch and at least Mo half lied to me oof

At least my vacation is saved. I love the hosts, Drew, Seamus, Johnny and Asya for having me. I stan Nicole G forever. Bora Bora will always be my home. Goodbye tumblr survivor!

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votingdog · 7 years ago

Text

i wanted to do a thing

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? i would, yeah 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? i have, like three of them lmao? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? i have not 4. Is trust a big issue for you? definitely 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i did!! it was really nice aaa 6. What are you excited for? hanging out with my friends? always? im lonely 7. What happened tonight? nothing really? ive been on tumblr mostly 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nah bitch me too just pls be careful 9. Is confidence cute? so cute!! but so is being shy?? everything is cute everyone is cute love me 10. What is the last beverage you had? tea 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? three, id say 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? all my jeans are skinny jeans 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? saturdays are for the boys 14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably a charger tbh 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? am not. relationships are scary and i need to figure shit out before i can be in another one 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? it wouldnt surprise me 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? noah and xavier 18. The last time you felt broken? eeeeeeeeeeeee 19. Have you had sex today? nope 20. Are you starting to realize anything? im cute and worthy of love okay 21. Are you in a good mood? yeah i mean? yeah. weirdly. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? maybe 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? what dad lmao 24. What do you want right this second? cuddles 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? “were they cute? tell me about itt” im very poly y’all 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yee 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? probably not, then again it isnt hard to make me laugh 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? honestly probably noah being a goof 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? y e s 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? not everyone, but most people do 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? absolutely not!! i love him sm 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i express it like,,,,,all the time so i really hope so? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? i only drink the clear ones? like sprite and ginger ale are my shit. everything is is,,,not 34. Listening to? jezebel by iron & wine 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? not usually. i mostly use pen bc i clearly never make mistakes 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? i mean, im 99% sure he’s at his house but idk he could be in a graveyard for all i know 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah. curiosity and crushing(ish) at first sight, yes, but love takes a bit 38. Who did you last call? xavier. i usually do to sleep 39. Who was the last person you danced with? my ex. we didnt get to go to prom together and he was sad he didnt get to dance with me, so we danced in my bedroom 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because he’s a huge cutie!!! 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? i dont remember?? pls give me a cupcake?? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? noo. i dont see my mom much rip 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? always??? i embarrass myself in front of everyone?? 44. Do you tan in the nude? i dont tan? not purposely at least. i just go outside sometimes and i guess i tan easily bc my tan line is r e a l 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? of course nott i wanna kiss him like all the time 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? maybe? i dont remember. i usually do tho 47. Who was the last person to call you? xavier 48. Do you sing in the shower? if no one’s around 49. Do you dance in the car? ive done the macarena in the car 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yee 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? school pictures? other than that when i was like real little bc my family was that suburban white family who got them every year (at walmart) 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? duh but i love them so much 53. Is Christmas stressful? y e s 54. Ever eat a pierogi? pardon? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i? uh? apple? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? oh jeez that’s a heavy question. sky diver, wizard, vet, and a teacher 57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes theyre real and one sucked my dick behind an arby’s 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? a lot actually 59. Take a vitamin daily? my unhealthy ass? i laugh 60. Wear slippers? no, usually jsut socks 61. Wear a bath robe? no, im usually just in a towel after the shower for like 20 minutes while i dissociate 62. What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and underwear unless im alone and then just underwear 63. First concert? black veil brides, falling in reverse, and set it off 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? targett 65. Nike or Adidas? shrugs. i wear off brand vans every day 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos! 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? mary’s song, dear john, and december. i unironically love her old stuff 69. Ever take dance lessons? i did ballet and tap c: 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? shrugs. whatever they wanna do i support 71. Can you curl your tongue? yee 72. Ever won a spelling bee? i got fifth place one year and third another 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? last night 74. What is your favorite book? the trylle series 75. Do you study better with or without music? with 76. Regularly burn incense? ive never done it on my own accord actually 77. Ever been in love? oh have i 78. Who would you like to see in concert? um? iron & wine? idk im listening to him now and i lov 79. What was the last concert you saw? ,,,,,,,,,,refer to number 63 80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold! 81. Tea or coffee? teaa 82. Favorite type of cookie? peanut butter ^^ 83. Can you swim well? i mean, i guess? i dont much idk 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yee 85. Are you patient? mostly, unless im like breaking down and/or splitting. then i freak 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? shrugs 87. Ever won a contest? i dont believe? i got second in one once for a collage i made of photographs when i was in kindergarten 88. Ever have plastic surgery? nah 89. Which are better black or green olives? green!! 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? i personally dont care. it’s important to some people and not to others. just respect each other yo 91. Best room for a fireplace? anywhere im around. i lov 92. Do you want to get married? aaaaaaa gotta find someone who would actually marry me first bitch wtf

#yoyoo #leigh what are you doing with your life

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