#// i hate her. i hate her immensely

[utilitycaster]

I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[whenthewallfell]

Some of the supporting cast of the thg/rdr mashup! I was gonna wait until the proper portraits were done but got too impatient haha

(deets below the cut)

Haymitch Abernathy

Not much is known about who he was before coming to New Hanover - his youth, his family, and his name are all things he refuses to talk about. What is known is that he spent some time as a migrant worker, travelling the states until he eventually came into the employ of government official Coriolanus Snow as a gun-for-hire. Snow later granted him a homestead in Cumberland Forest, in what would become a precursor to the General Allotment Act.

Despite the close proximity and occasional trades with the Wapiti tribe, Haymitch rebuffs all offers of community, preferring to spend his days in solitude. Recently, however, Katniss has strongarmed her way into his life, using his house as a base of operations whether he wants her to or not.

Johanna Yau

Yau Qiuyue was born and raised in West Elizabeth to a railroad worker and his wife, until the Chinatown they lived in was burned down by locals. Qiuyue was one of the few survivors, taken to be sold to a brothel; the men were found dead a few days later with a hatchet buried so deep in one man's skull they couldn't pull it out. She reappeared travelling under the name Johanna Yau with a bounty hunter, Haymitch Abernathy, who took her under his wing and taught her how to handle firearms.

These days she's something of a local legend - a vigilante who wipes out gangs and deals brutal justice to those who target immigrant workers. Known as The Dragoness of West Elizabeth, she is sometimes accompanied by the woman journalist Cressida Mason, who chronicles (and embellishes) her deeds. They make for an odd couple, preferring each other's company to that of any hopeful suitors.

Euphemia Trinket

A somewhat naïve secretary of Snow's who was tasked with monitoring his investment in the new allotment project, Euphemia is required to make fortnightly checkups and send reports on Haymitch's progress with the homestead. The position, while offering more freedom and independence than she might find otherwise, is not without its downsides - the fashion and culture of New Hanover is severely lacking in her eyes, and she misses the hustle and bustle of Blackwater.

Originally, Effie believed that what they were doing was essential to the betterment of their native neighbours and their introduction into Civilised Society, but she is beginning to have doubts after seeing the true extent of Haymitch's depression and the living conditions on the nearby reservation.

Primrose

Sister and polar opposite to Katniss, Primrose is a sweet girl with a sunny disposition, growing into a fine healer under the tutelage of her mother. She's also an accomplished sewist who is fascinated by 'modern' fashion, and enjoys blending outside and Wapiti influences into her own clothing whenever she can. She sometimes offers to work on Effie's as well in exchange for fashion plates and fabrics from the city.

Despite her gentle manner, however, Prim is deeply stubborn and fiercely devoted to her tribe and family. She thinks Katniss' idea of shipping her off to some random faraway city is the stupidest thing she's ever heard, and isn't afraid to fight her sister every step of the way.

[halcyon-deluxe]

what do you value most in someone?

At *least* a 2x resistance to ground type attacks. My last partner died due to a 4x weakness to earthquake and it gave me SUCH an ick :/ likeeeee I haaaaate it when my partner gets one-shot by earthquake spammers. its such a turn off.

[rustedleopard]

Still thinking about how Clover on the No Mercy Route likely would've given up their quest for vengeance and lived with Martlet had Axis not told them that he killed Integrity. The only real difference between Aborted No Mercy Run Clover and No Mercy Run Clover are a few more destroyed robots and the knowledge of what Axis did, which sent their LOVE skyrocketing to LV 19.

Look at them. They can't even look Ceroba in the eye after they inflict the final blow.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[charleemoon]

alphys ill never forgive how the fandom betrayed you

[child-of-hurin]

Some Queen's Thief bullshit

The fact that only Irene ever remarks on the scent Nahuseresh's beard oil*, and more importantly, calls it cheap, has always been of interest for me, because it feels so out of character for Nahuseresh to save money on this one thing he clearly cares about. The fact that neither Gen nor Kamet ever remark on it either also gets me all in my

thoughts.

Anyway, there are many possible explanations. Kamet repeats so often that Attolia stinks, that one might think the olfactory landscape of each country is just different enough to produce two very different standards. Maybe coastal Attolians like the salty breeze and Kamet, city boy extreme, thinks it smells like fish; maybe Nahuseresh's scented oil is in the same position...& maybe Gen has a cosmopolitan nose, and appreciates it all?

You can go a little more psychological if you want. Nahuseresh's scented oil triggers for Irene the memory of that amphora she broke as a child; she goes on to say that after that she became the Heir, and was given more expensive scented oils to use. Maybe Nahuseresh's scented beard oil is too close to the cheaper scent she associates so strongly with that symbolic, troubling memory...

CHEAP though! My actual favorite theory is a little simpler: his beard oil has a scent that is rare and precious in the court of Ianna-Ir... but rather commonplace in Attolia :o He notes nobody in court is wearing that fragrance and doubles down thinking he's so exclusive and posh....in an AU where Nahuseresh secures power in Attolia, he becomes very rich very fast by exporting it...

*Sophos makes a similar complaint to Eddis about Akretenesh's oil scent, so everything in this post could apply to him as well

[bisexualfemalemess]

I swear this is gonna be my last polin post (no it’s not)

I neeeed a parallel to that scene in season 1 where colin says he was a fool to fall for marina’s trick (or whatever it was he said, haven’t watched season 1 in a hot while) and Penelope said he wasn’t and that he just thought he was in love and if one finds something like that they need to declare it assuredly, fervently, loudly. Preferably the parallel where he declares his feelings assured, fervently and loudly happens at their engagement ball

[edelgarfield]

i finally finished the CR3 finale and I just 😭😭😭

it was really good. I loved it & I'm vehemently avoiding any other opinions bc I refuse to let the fandom ruin this for me.

but I already know people are going to complain abt the Vax/Keyleth resolution. and the only thing I can think about is how upset I've been for years, that of all the CR PCs, Keyleth alone was the only one that never had any control over the things that happened to her, how her own narrative was completely overshadowed by Vax, how cruel the fandom was to Marisha, & how this is clearly something that has upset Marisha for YEARS.

and Liam has said multiple times that he was in a bad place during much of CR1, he was grieving, and idk. he's a different person than he was when he played Vax. and I may be making assumptions, but I get the sense that he & Matt both have regrets about some of the choices they made in CR1.

like i think it would cause some sort of feelings to see your very close friend grieve your fictional OC for YEARS. and maybe after playing Caleb & seeing him heal and find closure he regretted that Vax never got the same, and he regretted the effect it had on not just Vax's friends in game, but his IRL friends.

CR3 is about looking back at our past mistakes and choosing to walk a different path. And I feel like the entire cast has grown as storytellers & people, they've matured & lived through ten years of grief, love, joy, & sorrow. I wonder if looking back, they realized that they no longer agreed with the choices they made in CR1 or its themes, and they realized they hadn't just hurt Keyleth the character, but also Marisha the player.

imo CR1 was unfair to both Marisha & Keyleth in so many ways, from the fandom, to her own story, to the decisions the other players made that hurt her. like. Marisha has grown so much as an actor & a creator, but I don't think any of us can imagine what it was like to be in her position during CR1. no one expected CR to blow up like it did, the cast & G&S were in no way prepared to handle the fandom. Like Marisha was relatively unknown before CR, unlike Laura & Ashley who were both critically acclaimed actors (which is part of the reason the fandom hated her). I doubt she'd dealt with internet backlash before and suddenly overnight she had the entire internet watching her. She didn't sign onto CR expecting the attention she received & unlike everyone else, her first introduction to fans was absolutely brutal. like to go from a quiet home game with your friends, to having your OC absolutely eviscerated and torn apart must've been awful.

People criticized her acting, said Keyleth was a self-insert, claimed that any good thing Keyleth achieved or any gifts she received was bc she was dating the DM, Keyleth was boring/whiny/uninteresting, she was getting in the way of Vaxilmore, etc etc. It's not like having your role in a game or movie criticized. Keyleth is HER character; every critique of Keyleth's design or story or decisions in-game is a criticism of Marisha as a creator. I don't think any of us can imagine how awful that was, to watch all of your friends receive praise and have fun with fans, but have to swallow constant vitriol and misogyny in order to join them, to be completely unprotected by any sort of manager. the other women received plenty of hate too, don't get me wrong, but she was by far the most hated and the only one without any pre-existing fanbase. to have that be your first exposure to fandom?

to go through all of that & then have it end the way it did? with Vax choosing to leave her without putting up a fight while everyone else gets their happy ending? to be the one left grieving while Vax gets to be at peace? to be the only one alone in every CR one-shot afterwards? to have to relive that experience again recording TLOVM?

this is something I keep coming back to when it comes to CR, how in some ways I feel like the fandom feels like we're entitled to ownership of these characters, and entitled to the cast's suffering for the sake of artistic integrity. and to be clear, there's some merit to that, given that CR is a multimillion dollar media franchise. but I also think that Keyleth & CR1 are always going to be special in that regard because they were never made for an audience. When the cast signed up for CR2 and CR3, they knew what they were getting into, they made characters knowing they were going to be shared with the world & held to a higher standard. but Keyleth was Marisha's first, and when the cast agreed to start filming CR, they had no idea that they were relinquishing some of their creative freedom in order to align with the audience's expectations. I'm sure they would never go back on that choice, given everything that came afterwards, but I'm sure if they could go back, they would approach it differently.

anyway. my point is just that CR1 is by no means perfect & infallible. I don't think Matt would write the story he did for CR3 and make the choices he made if he didn't regret some of his decisions from CR1. I don't think Liam would have agreed to bring Vax back if he didn't also feel dissatisfied in retrospect. and the choices the cast made back in CR1, both in & out of game, caused Marisha a lot of pain nearly a decade later. and as the DM and her friends, I think they did the right thing by giving her a chance to correct the mistakes they made in CR1. I don't think it's right to suggest Marisha should just be sad forever for the sake of preserving CR1’s narrative. I don't think it's right to say that it's been too long to make up for or correct the mistakes of the past.

I'd have to make a whole other post about this, but the fandom seems to expect the cast to care about & be invested in their characters, but they're not allowed to prioritize their enjoyment and what they want out of the game. again there's definitely some merit to this, but. I have too much empathy. I don't want the cast to suffer for my enjoyment. Marisha & Keyleth have more than earned this.

[futuristicallyshadowyface]

I FUCKING HATE RUMPLE WHY IS HE ALWAYS GETTING CHANCE AFTER CHANCE AFTER CHANCE AFTER CHANCE KILL HIM NOW KILL HIM NOW

[canisonicscrewyou]

Fuck this entire week oh my fucking godddd. This felt like a little trial. Hurdles to get through the last of Busy Season for the year.

This week:

I shut down my store's entire IT system while being guided through a troubleshoot and it took ~45 minutes to fix it

Rolled + landed on my ankle on my walk to work on Halloween. Had to limp into work.

On Halloween I also had to kick out an intoxicated dude on a bike who tried to serve himself water out of a crushed, grimy to-go cup by leaning his entire body over the bar after going to the registers to ask ME for a cup of water. Left after telling me he has two no-trespassing orders from my store.

Had to hobble my way home because I had no way of getting a ride because my city closes down half the streets for Halloween.

Worked through my bruised and busted up ankle for ~3 days while another coworker called out to. Probably catch up on school work.

Nearly cried at work like. Several. Times. Partially from overwhelm and confusion and now partially from pain.

Watched my boss feel immensely bad after seeing My Ouchie and then went home. (<- only for my fiancé to come in to pick me up and then when I wasn't there, tell my boss and coworker that I should have called out today which is. Correct.)

Now I'm really just sitting with my injured leg Up High and On Ice

I got to see some fireworks, dress up as Will Graham, my coworker gave me the last of her cigarettes, and I got to post fic though so. Not all bad. I guess.

[gay-artificer]

I've seen people be like downpour ruined how people see five pebbles and im gonna be honest if you were here for any number of years pre-downpour the fandom was always god-awful with the nuance in his character. thats not a downpour thing thats a fandom thing

[james-stark-the-writer]

just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.

the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.

putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.

ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.

[lunaechaos]

.

[bunnymajo]

Wanted to draw Empress Undergu (Hirogaru Sky Precure) but didn’t want to mess with human proportions, so I called a stand-in