#// i don't know if I'll get any writing done but i am definitely present and working on the aesthetic asks i got

[stxrsfxte]

I know the aesthetic wouldn't really match, but I really want to draw Micaiah (and mayhaps Nephenee & Ilyana) in Roses' dresses from The Titanic

However! The aesthetic I feel like could match for HSR muses like Tuesday which.... I wanna draw them in Roses' fancy red dress cause honestly he could work it.

[petew21-blog]

Detention

My English teacher just absolutely embarassed me in fornt of the whole class. Not the whole class, cause Joe and Chris are not here, but still. But I am glad they didn't see it. They would have made my life a living hell and called me names, but so would I.

The three of us have been friends since our mothers met on a playground one day. We have been inseperable. Sometimes literally. We even used super glue to never be away from each other. Yeah we went to the ER that night. But we all still laughed like crazy everytime we did pranks like this. We loved to do pranks on other people, but over the time we got bored, they either knew us and our pranks already or they didn't react enough to let us have the final laugh worth having.

That's why we started doing pranks on each other. It was quite brutal sometimes, like the last two prank I did on both of them, but you know, that's the game. We always want to be better than the other.

Back to present

My teacher, Mr. Lionel, called me in front of the whole class and forced me to sing. He said that I can sing Baby by Justin Bieber, cause he remembers that I once wrote that in one of my essays to be my favourite song. WHAT? I would never write that. That's one of my worst nightmares. Of course the whole class laughed.

Then the principal called out through the school radio, that my mom called and brought me new underwear, cause she knows how much I have trouble holding it in.

"That's BULLSHIT!" I yelled out during the class. The stranges thing was that Mr. Lionel didn't scold me right away as he always would, but kept on laughing. He then looked at the class and understood should have acted sooner.

"All right, Mr. Donovan. Principal's office, right now." he handed me the note for the principal and I left.

I was curious as always and took a peek. It said "For being a naughty boy. Deserves spanking. P.S. everything going according to plan so far"

What kind of a language is this. Why would Mr. Lionel write this? Is this how they always talk about us? Cause this is disturbing. I entered the office. The principal smiled at me from ear to ear. He let me sit down and immediately stood up above me

"So what was it this time, Mr. Donovan?"

"I... reacted on what you said about me in the radio. I said something I shouldn't have."

"Well. That is unfortunate. I might have bad news in that matter I am afraid that might make the situation worse. I have to inform you that we have been searching lockers of students for unwanted drugs and yours contained 5 great bags of weed. Therefore I am going to contact your parents and make you leave our school. Detention is definitely not in order. You have to understand that we don't want anyone to carry drugs to our school."

"But principal, that's not mine. I would have never done that. I have never even used it nor would I ever sell it. It must have been only some kind of prank by my friends."

"Are you trying to say we should expell them?"

"No... of course not. It's just not mine and I don't want to be expelled. Please. I'll do anything."

"Anything you say? he said and rearranged his balls in his pants

"NO FUCKING WAY IS THIS HAPPENING. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE" I started panicking

"Do not worry Mr. Donovan. There is no need to panic. Mr. Lionel is coming now and we will think how to make a proper punishment for you."

We sat in silence, I would bet anything that he was still rubbing himself under the desk. I am not gonna get raped by some old perv today. Even if I would have to stab him in the eye with his pen

Suddenly the door opened. Mr. Lionel came in. The two of them still sat in silence. Then the principal said:"Ok, Mr. Lionel. Show our student here, what he's missing"

Mr. Lionel took of his shirt and started flexing at us. I had to admit that he was very good looking, but the thought that the principal was still observing me was horrible. I needed to get out.

"So, Billy. Wanna touch me? I'll let you pass"

"Sir, this is... I... NO! I won't do any of this. Leave me the fuck alone both of you, you two creeps!" I got to the door, but found out that Mr. Lionel locked it when he entered.

They looked at themsleves. And then started laughing histerically

Prinicpal:"It's just a prank, bro!"

Me:"What?!"

Mr. Lionel:"Dude, you were so scared. I bet you really do need the underwear now. Must be all wet haha"

Principal:"You still don't get it right, bro?"

Me:"Get what?"

Mr. Lionel:"Dude, it's us. Joe and Chris. And we PRANKED youuu!"

I couldn't believe it. But it was the only thing that made sense

Me:"Wait, how did you? Am I dreaming? Is it really happening?"

Chris (principal):"Yeah it's real bro. We went to the town to find something for our new prank to get revenge on you and we found this talisman in an old shop. And we swapped bodies. We found out that we can swap as many times we want. And then we came up with a plan to prank you. We even planned to embarass you even more, but it would be too cruel."

Me:"Guys, what the fuck? You made me believe that my principal was about to... That was it. We're done with the pranks. No more pranking each other ok? No more revenge pranking. Anything"

Joe (Mr. Lionel):"Ok, dude. Sorry. But you gotta admit it was a great prank, haha"

Me:"Yeah, I believed it."

Chris (Prinicipal):"Guys, are you done brushing your vaginas? I need to get out of this old body like right now. It's horrible to feel this old, dry, weak."

Me:"So, we can swap with anybody, right?"

Chris:"Yeah, got anyone in mind?"

Me:"My brother got back home from college few days ago and his two friends are crashing at ours. They're kinda hot."

Chris:"Great, but you'll have to lure them out"

We stood in front of the mirror in our new college bodies. Admiring each other, flexing, enjoy the muscles, the facil hair of each other

Me:"By the way, where are your original bodies?"

Joe:"Oh, we stashed them in the school. They are tied up so there should be no problem there"

Me:"You know you're gonna have to let them go eventually?"

Chris:"But not right now. Guys, let's see whose dick is bigger!"

Story in inbox:

Hi i loooooove your story so much🥰

Could u write a story about two guys swapping body with their principal and teacher to teach their friend a lesson 🍆🍆🍆

[yannisdesk]

Why the Lack of a Verbal Apology May Make Sense from Caitlyn's Perspective

I do not approve of the writing decision of having Caitlyn not verbally apologize to Vi for hitting her, but I thought I'd look into why Caitlyn, as a character, wouldn't think it's completely necessary.

I am fully aware that I am a stone-throw away from getting "obsessed with Caitlyn" accusations and to that I say - she's an interesting character. Analyzing her tickles the brain.

This will not be a super technical post btw. More vibes + thoughts and observations, not a formal essay on the topic.

So, Caitlyn is a Kiramman, and this is an upper class family with a lot of prestige riding on its back. They're also a fairly stoic family, in that they do not wear their hearts on their sleaves. They've bought into "keeping up appearances" - hence why Cassandra and Tobias were not too happy with Caitlyn becoming an enforcer; it's a stereotypically "blue collar" job even if it is considered essential to "maintaining order" in Piltover (debatable). It's not at all unrealistic, imagine any rich and influential family that occupies the upper echelon of society - would they be psyched about their kid, and sole heir, becoming a beat cop? Probably not. While the Kiramman legacy includes being a financial provider for the enforcer department and altruistic pursuits, like creating the air ventilation system in Zaun, they're still prone to high levels of classism. Just look at how quickly they cut off communication with Jayce once, as Caitlyn puts it, his "name's no good now." The Kiramman family are long-time members of the Piltover Council and have immense political power, so they are not a cog in the machine, they share ownership of the machine with six other families.

Despite this, the Kirammans do love each other and will do things out of love. For example, Cassandra does stick up for Jayce initially during the council meeting and tries to vouch for his character. She also does not tell Caitlyn "I'm sorry. You're right, the council has been slacking when it comes to the Undercity. I'll schedule a meeting with them on what we can do." She just says "I'll schedule an audience. You and your crush friend can address the council yourselves. I suggest you prepare accordingly." She nods at Caitlyn to go after Vi after the council meetings fails, letting her know she approves of what they have going on (Mama Kiramman definitely knew her daughter had a thing for Vi). She also, after initially disagreeing, votes to give Zaun freedom, no doubt thinking about her daughter and what she'd tried to achieve a few days ago. That's just the type of family they are.

And Cassandra does this without really verbalizing it. She let's the action talk for her. Tobias seems to be the more physically affectionate parent. Caitlyn is an (un)happy-medium, in the first season she's more physical like Tobias, in the second she's more distant like Cassandra, which checks out as she's in mourning, so she could've ended up becoming even more clingy to those around her or what we get in the opposite: detachment.

But Caitlyn does embody some of her other in season 1, the build-up of her trading something she's associated closely with for Vi is present. In season 1 her gun is exchanged for Vi's medicine which saves her life.

So, what we can get from this is that the Kirammans are action-oriented. Tobias is action-oriented in physical affection, such as hugging his daughter and fixing her leg. Cassandra will perform duties that don't require physical affection, but will still show her remorse, love, and care regardless.

So, given that's the standard she's working with, it makes sense that Caitlyn wouldn't verbally apologize and instead just do something that she knows would mean a lot to Vi. It's what her mother would've done. It's how she's been conditioned to think about apologies: you atone through action. Caitlyn wouldn't automatically think that something as serious as this would require something verbal because simply put - she's probably never had to confront something this serious, and it's also not how she was raised.

And that's not even a false notion, it's just incomplete with the way it's interpreted, which is rooted in quite a bit of pride, because if you're "strictly action oriented" then you never have to actually admit you were ever in the wrong, you can just jump to doing something that will hopefully land you in the clear, and similar to how just saying "I'm sorry" simply won't cut it, in serious situations this won't either; there needs to be a balance and words and actions need to match, especially when it comes to an act of domestic violence.

As the age-old-saying goes: the hardest part is admitting you're in the wrong, but it's also very important. So, while I do think that Caitlyn freeing Jinx is definitely in-step with who she was already established as a character, an undoubtedly great gesture, and decision; I also think it would be interesting to see part of her development acknowledge that it's okay to both talk about it and be about it even when it's hard, and given that she gave Ekko good advice in season 1 and then went completely against it in season 2, it would certainly be appropriate.

[httpdwaekki]

i'm sorry to clog the tags but i needed to get something off my chest.

i'm never done this but, i've noticed a common theme in alot of reader insert fics recently and i know most people won't care but i feel the need to get this off my chest.

i feel like people have lost what the point of reader insert is. the entire point of it is so the READER can insert themselves into the story. the entire point is to not describe the reader's appearance or to do it vaguely so the reader can still view themself in the story.

i know for me especially, i'm tall and chubby and most reader inserts are made for people who are skinnier and shorter. using phrases like "his hand encapsulates the entirety her small wrist.' or " he wraps his arms around her small waist." or "he looked down at her."

(disclaimer: these are NOT directly from any writers fic, they are sentences that use similar language to what i've seen alot.)

for me personally this can completely take me out of a fic, i'll exit and move onto the next because truth be told, it makes me feel like shit. (again speaking for MY own personal experience)

to the same point, smaus and fake texts, i've noticed alot of people using pictures of people to depict the reader, which again, can take someone completely out of a fic. because most of the time it's some small skinny beauty standard body that not everyone has.

there's also something to be said about how most reader inserts are definitely written with the implications that the reader is white, but as a white person it doesn't feel like my place to start the discourse on that subject. HOWEVER, i am very much aware that is very much present in reader insert fics and it felt wrong to not at least mention that when discussing this.

now, there's a difference between reader insert and say, for example, chubby!reader, for a few reasons. 1, it is being stated that the reader has a specific body type or that the writing is making the fic for that specific attribute. 2, some people wanna read/write about their body type or something about them that's different from what is perceived as "normal" (by normal i don't mean what's actually what's normal i just mean what society views as normal). it can be very validating and comforting.

now, if you wanted to make an oc, then that's totally different, and i'm NOT talking about that in this case. i'm talking about fics labled as reader insert fics.

again i want to make it VERY clear that this is not directed towards anyone. this is simply my experiences and what i've personally seen, and me voicing MY opinions. if i said anything wrong or offensive, please let me know i am open to different points of view but this is simply MY experience and MY opinions.

love you guys, please remember to drink water, eat something, and take your meds. <3

[heian-era-housewife]

Hello all!

Recovery, diagnosis, and continued health journey below the break.

TLDR: Stage 4 endometriosis, still waiting on results for the heart condition, tired, sore, overall am going to be okay 👍 I do, however, hate being the owner of a uterus.

Most importantly, thanks everyone for the love, support, and well wishes! Glad to be back! It will be slow. Don't expect too much, but I do still plan to play catch up on Kinktober, even if it goes into November a little bit.

Trigger warnings: blood, mental health, mention of sex, gender identity, generally just Yuri whining 😅

I'm not sure where to begin. When I imagined writing this comeback post, pre-surgery I thought it would be all smiles and sunshine. I knew there would be pain, but I thought the worst of it would be behind me. Currently, I feel like I'm sitting toward the bottom of what may be a very long uphill struggle.

While my surgery went smoothly, the care I received around the surgery was eye opening. We waited for hours on end both before and after the surgery to get answers, to get help, to use the bathroom or be offered water.

Sometime before I woke up I had apparently been given some disposable underwear and a pad because I was bleeding pretty heavily. When I was finally able to use the restroom, I discovered that the pad had been placed cotton-side down with the adhesive side facing my body. The sticky part was still covered with the backing (thankfully), but this had caused blood to run everywhere including down my legs where I could not reach, as I was unable to bend. The only person available to help me at the time was a man whose bedside manner was less than desirable, so I just lived with the blood stains.

This was just one of many instances where it felt like I was almost being punished for having the reproductive organs that I do. And frankly, that has been my experience my entire life as someone who menstruates, who has had difficulty with menstruation, and who has had near constant pain and problems in that area.

Ultimately, I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis. I know very little about this condition and by the time I had woken up from surgery, the surgical staff had gone home. There was no one willing to answer questions and I have since been told I will need to wait two weeks until my follow up appointment to speak with the doctor and get details. Until then, I am left with my own research. From what it seems, there is no cure and very minimal that can be done for treatment of symptoms. My discharge notes make mention of heavy scarring on my ovaries from recurring cysts, which are sure to continue. The endometrial tissue can also appear on or effect other parts of the body as they had in this past instance where tissue was present around my intestines. It can grow on lungs and even the brain, though these cases are extremely rare.

It's hard not to feel discouraged right now. I thought this surgery would be a huge step forward toward feeling better, but it feels more like a tiny drop in a bucket of larger issues and possibly more surgeries and complications to come. Not only this, but I am enraged both by the absolutely abysmal healthcare system here in the U.S. but by the treatment of and complete lack of empathy for those who have vaginas, uteruses, who experience menstruation or pregnancy and any number of complications from these things. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "women's" healthcare is a JOKE, but this goes beyond women. If I, a cisgender female, am experiencing such a lack of care and empathy, I can only imagine how any person with these organs who doesn't fit the stereotypical image or definition gets treated. I hate it.

Anyhoo...

Recovery is expected to take about two weeks. No sex for six weeks (for real this time)

Still waiting on results from my heart monitor.

Wanting to tackle mental health after squaring away what I can of physical health.

Depression and anxiety is now worse than ever. Doing my best not to slither into my little hermit hole and hide from it all.

Writing helps. Drawing helps. The love and care from amazing people on this silly little site helps.

And of course, there is Hubs, who deserves a standing ovation for the incredible job he has done caring for me, advocating for me, and reminding me every day that truly good people do still exist 🩷

If you've read this far, please go get yourself a cookie or something 🍪 and thank you, truly, for being part of this little journey with me 💕

[minnielvr]

december - hwang hyunjin

˚ ༘ pairing bf! hyunjin x fem! idol! reader

˚ ༘ genre fluff, song fic

˚ ༘ wc 892

˚ ༘ listen to december - ariana grande (seriously, listen to it.)

˚ ༘ note the arianator inside me is coming out😭 this been sitting in my drafts since the beginning of december🙏

you had just released your new solo song today. it was a christmas themed loved song. hyunjin was on your mind the whole time you were making it, so you guess it was a little early christmas gift for him.

you opened the door to your guys' shared apartment and kicked off your shoes. you ran towards hyunjins little art studio and barged in.

"babe babe! did you hear the new song i released?!?" you hoped he did already.

he chuckled softly and put down his art palette, wiping his hands and taking off his little apron, he invited you to sit down on his lap.

"no i have not baby, wanna show it to me?" his soft eyes were staring right into yours, making you shy. you nuzzled your face into his neck and muttered something incoherent to him.

"hm? what was that honey?" he tried to lift your face out of the crook of his neck but it was no use.

"j-just search it up and play it.." you looked up a little bit into his eyes.

"but thats no fun," he pouted. "how about you sing it for me? it can be an early christmas gift." he smirked. almost as if he knew it was for him.

"fine, but no laughing!" you took his phone and went to youtube to search up the song.

he giggled. "okay baby, i won't laugh, i promise." he moved you a little bit backwards on his lap so he could get the full view of you.

you pulled up the music on his phone and started singing, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

when december comes, i bet you want to wrap me all up and take me home with you see what i look like under them lights we'll keep it quiet, whatever we do

you winked at him after that verse. his mouth opened a little bit but he still smiled nonetheless. your voice sounded like honey to him. he liked where this song was going so far.

i'm just tryna keep my baby warm through the wintertime i'm just tryna give you something to remember through the summertime and whatever is on your list, i'll do it boy, whatever it is, you know i'll do it

his smile grew wider realizing that the song was about him, he grabbed your chin with two fingers and tilted your head up to meet him eyes. he really wanted to kiss you right now, but that can wait until after you're done.

merry christmas, here i am, boy gonna love you, gonna give you all i can, boy merry christmas, here i am, boy i'm the present and you know it, here i am, boy merry christmas, here i am, boy gonna love you, gonna give you all i can, boy merry christmas, here i am, boy i'm the present and you know it, boy

he smiled so softly but wide at you and his eyes did that thing when he smiled so big. everything about this moment was so perfect to him. your voice, the song, the lyrics, everything. he really couldn't believe you made a whole song dedicated to him

so he did the only normal thing anyone would do in a situation like this. he paused the music, grabbed your chin, and kissed you.

you felt fireworks going off in your stomach. this definitely wasn't your guys' first kiss, but it sure felt like it. you guys stayed like that for about five seconds until you both pulled away for some oxygen.

"y/n i seriously cant believe you, that was the cutest and hottest thing ever." he pulled you closer and let his head rest on your chest.

you started cascading your fingers through his soft hair, taking out any tangles. "well thank you very much," you giggle a little bit. "but i wasnt even finished singing." you pouted.

"oh honey i'm sorry. it's just that i thought it was so cute that i had to kiss you." he looked up at you and smiled. he then sat up properly and grabbed your cheeks. "i love you so much darling, thank you for writing that about me." he connected his forehead to yours and gave you a tiny peck on your lips.

"i love you more hyune, you don't have to thank me by the way. i would do it for you in a heart beat." you gave him a little peck on the lips back.

"so, im expecting you to be wrapped up in a bunch of bows on christmas day okay? since you're my present and all." he teased.

"in your dreams lover boy" you winked at him and got off his lap, making your way to the bathroom to go shower. it was hot in his studio, not to mention and the tension that was going on. he pouted at you and asked where you were going.

"i'm going to shower!" you called out from the main area.

hyunjin perked up at that statement. he scrambled off his stool and almost tripped to go catch up with you.

"w-wait for me!" he ran towards the bathroom but he was too late, you had already shut the door.

"get your head out of the gutter hyunjin" you called out from the bathroom and laughed at him.

[chrysanthemumgames]

Hello!  I love your game! I always liked reading about antiquity, and this game is such a lovely way to have some fun with Greek myths. Your writing is wonderful: the pacing is nice, the language is very eloquent, and the characters are charming—considering that it is only a WIP, you've done such an amazing job! I don't think I've even noticed any bugs or typos! This is brilliant! 

I loved the moment when Hades and the MC greet Hera, and if you play as "on the more socially-graceful side" Persephone, Hera recognises it and comments on how your character "rather effectively covers [Hades'] weaknesses." And then later, the game also says: "You can manage well enough with it, and you think your participation probably smooths out what might have otherwise been a few minor bumps in things." I really like the idea that a charming consort doesn't clash with Hades, but sort of complements and completes him, that your differences don't impede your coregency but strengthen it (personally, I'd love to become a proper Marie-Antoinette, a charming social butterfly overshadowing my socially awkward husband, lol, but never mind that).

Also, I am so excited to see what will come out of the possibility of starting your own cult! With a temple, too! Oh! I really hope we'd get to interact with our followers more, solving their problems, sure, but also just having fun, you know? I mean, having more of a "Cult of Dionysus" rather than "Eleusinian Mysteries". Because, so far it sort of feels like we don't play as much as "Demetra's child" but rather as "customisable Persephone". I love Dionysus, and I think it would be great if we had a choice to lean more towards Dionysus than Persephone. Because as it is now, most (if not all) details, in choices and in flavour text, relate much more to Persephone, like being a deity of spring (and not harvest, fruits, or vine) or having a very plant-based magic (and not something more chaotic and unhinged). Which is to be expected, of course, and I'm not saying that something should be different, this is literally the premise of the game, I understand that, but I think it would be cool to have a chance to choose something more Dionysus-related, perhaps in later chapters. I mean, like, for example:  

1) when Charon asks: "What would you like out of your time here?" to be able to answer something like "just to have fun" or "throw a party";

2) or when Pyri asks: "What do you do?" have choices like "theatre", "dancing", or "playing music and singing" (I think this kind of falls into the "exploring the arts" category, so I'm not saying there should be an extra choice as such but rather perhaps just a little mention of theatre and music in the following flavour text?);

3) or when the game says: "In between the work of getting your garden established, you find that over the next few weeks you have a fair bit of free time to spend as you like" choose to do something more chaotic? Boisterous? Wild? Like, get really wasted? Have a party with some souls? Organise a theatre performance? The present choices are totally fine, but they all do seem quite... tame. But perhaps in the future, we get to do something more rowdy? Unhinged even?

4) or have an option to decorate your head with grapes and ivy;

5) or be able to grow grapes in your garden? We can, of course, grow berries, fruits, and vegetables, so, again, I'm not saying there should be an extra choice, but perhaps just a bit of additional flavour text?

But again, this is just some backseat comments; feel free to ignore them! The main thing that I wanted to say is that your WIP is beautiful, and I really hope you won't abandon it! I am so very excited to see it finished! And I'm sorry this turned out to be so long! It's OK if you just leave it unanswered!

Hi there!

I'm really glad you're enjoying FoA; I have to admit that there are typos, though, so I'll call myself lucky that you haven't found any. ^^;

As to your suggestions, definitely reasonable of you to notice that the Dionysus-flavored options are not yet as prominent. One of the things I have slated for my eventual big editing phase is putting more of those in; some of them may even look like yours, as you've spotted quite a few places where they might fit.

Generally, the move to more revelry/wine/overall unhingedness is meant to be a move, rather than something the PC can be equally at the beginning alongside the spring/life/plant stuff, so there won't be loads of opportunities for it right off the bat, but I do want to add more as the story progresses, and I've admittedly been kind of neglecting that so far. Fair point. :)

[ms-all-sunday]

soso sorry if you've already done any of these and i didn't see! for the ship game: frobin, cross guild polycule, lunami, and boa/reiji! (ik you mentioned cross guild somewhere but i don't think you talked about them and i love them sm. also, the appeal of boa/reiju to me is like. warrior princesses learning how to be human together, yknow?)

frobin - compelling, makes sense.

i recommend people frobin fanfiction all the time i made fanart for the most popular frobin fanfiction and it's what people on twitter know me for, yeah. i like frobin. freak for freak t4t love is the best kind of love there is. they have the best visual gag in all the series.

thematically, them being together is self expression. robin loves him because she truly relates to him enough to know what its like to be in his position and have the strength to do what he's done. the opposite is true for him. they are the greatest avenue of each others self expression, both what they are and what they admire, and isn't that the romantic ideal?

cross guild - compelling, makes sense.

i sound smart in these things, because im an articulate person. i'm going to briefly not sound smart, and say that those three men are the hottest beings alive and if they fuck it's my personal sexual fantasy. k back to sounding smart

cross guild is another one of those ships i find funny so I'm inclined towards, but the thing that compels me (especially on the mihawk and buggy end) is how preformative they all are. i think it makes for some incredibly compelling character drama, even when they haven't interacting that much in canon, but mihawk and buggy and croc all have this element of "im presenting it like i'm not a loser but i am and the only reason you think it's cool is because of my social status" and I'm always a sucker for character commentary on what level of preformative someones personality is vs how genuine it is.

luffy/nami - compelling and makes sense, (you probably missed it anon but i'll say it again, every eb5 combination you give is a hard yes from me. i am the merryshipper.)

what isn't there to love about these two? luffy is silly, but gives her the sanctity and security she craves. she gives him her presence and love in return. they love eachother a lot, and colead the strawhats together. nami often overthinks and it's the comfort she needs to listen to luffy and the opposite is true of him, he's reckless and it's a comfort he gets to listen to her. they're a team. a very silly team.

it's ultimately how mutual their partnership is that makes them a compelling ship, how nami comforts luffy and vice versa and how they can rely on eachother and how luffy accepts her unconditionally and nami accepts him conditionally. they see eachother as very safe. it's adorable.

boa/rejiu - never would've considered this before but you convinced me. im an easy person to convince on this front.

i'd write this. it's definitely more compelling to me than tashigi and reiju, as i think boa balances her out wonderfully. boa is a very traumatized girl, and reiju is too, and youve figured out that's my favourite thing in wlw ships by now surely.

boa getting to be a puppy girl towards reiju, and i think boa would be attracted towards reiju, as i think what she loves about luffy is how unaffected he is by her, she's not treated like a commodity. reiju would be similar and probably delight in the attention even though she's convinced herself she is unaffected by most if not all things, and they'd really be very healthy towards eachother. i think boa and reiju have both experienced sexism from men in their lives, in similar and opposite ways almost, and i think they'd draw each other out of what is deemed most "comfortable" for them.

i wont lie, i relate to boa hancock a lot (as i tend to relate to all women in one piece who have fucked up relationships towards men, this does say something about me! if you were wondering) and i think reiju is a tragic figure who is unable to prioritize herself as above the men in her life her relationship towards sanji is fucked. absolutely makes me uncomfortable in the way that i do not care for sanji at all and completely emphasize with her. im in love with her and want her to prioritize herself and i will kill oda for fucking real if she doesnt get a happy ending i love reiju so much i hated every minute she was onscreen in wci and i dont talk about it very often because she makes me want to cry. i do not vibe with her narrative at all in whole cake but i'm unsure if that's a moral beef i have with oda or with her.

okay. damn. im done. personal experience aside. i love this ship thanks for igniting my new obsession.

ask game

[nowoyas]

Edible Arrangements 34

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: sorry this is running late! I had like three assignments due today and I've been in a depressive rut for like three months so I totally thought I just needed to edit a chapter and post it today. turns out that was the last chapter in my bank and it was only halfway written so AFTER taking an exam I haven't done any coursework for (and kicking ass fuck yeah) and writing a 1k word essay I also hadn't done anything for and also playing stardew valley bc of who I am as a person I finally got the time today to bust out the rest of the chapter! this is more lightly edited than usual due to time reasons. anyways rant over! here's the chapter!

Chapter Summary: Fuck yeah axe throwing and heists!

Warnings: uhhh hospital and knife mentions

Word count: ~2500

Holy fucking shit Tenya is insane. Holy fucking shit you love this.

Axe throwing. He took you axe throwing.

And holy shit, you’re living your best life.

The place does competitions between teams of two, and luckily, there was another pair hoping to fuck shit up on this fine Friday afternoon. They’re both younger, you think—at least, one is. The first, with bobbed brown hair, is definitely around your age—she smiles and waves as you approach. The other, you’re not able to be sure about, namely because she’s just some floating clothes. She’s invisible, apparently.

You wonder if you’d be able to see her features if she lied to you.

“Glad to see we’ve got another pair!” the brunette says as you and Tenya take point beside them. "This is fun, but I think it's a little more fun as a competition!" She's got a playful glint in her eyes. "I'm Ochako! And this is Tooru."

You nod. Tenya gives your names.

"Have you been here before?"

You have not. Tenya shakes his head for the both of you.

“Do you think they’ll be mad if I scream?” you ask as you inspect one of the throwing axes. “I’m going through some shit.”

Ochako laughs. “Go for it. Just try to make it sound more angry than in pain so they don’t freak out, and you should be good!”

Ochako and Tooru are great, as is Tenya. The girls give both of you pointers on good technique as the resident axe-throwing regulars, and you proceed to scream out your rage as you successfully hit a killshot on the target. It’s pure, violent delight, and even Tenya gets into it. By the time it’s over, Ochako and Tooru have thoroughly thrashed you (you silently write it off as the result of both you and Tenya having pretty heavily burnt arms) and you’ve walked out with both girls�� numbers and a group chat entitled “axing questions”.

And speaking of group chats, you haven’t looked at your phone except to get the chat set up since entering the axe-throwing venue. You almost feel light.

Tenya, for his part, is almost hands-off for once. Typically, he can't help but reach in to situations. You never fault him—it's who he's always been. But you can't say you don't welcome the way he's treating you now.

When at last you part ways with Ochako and Tooru, you return to shopping, and though the weird tightness in your chest remains at the thought of Tsuyu, you stick it out to go gift shopping for her. Her birthday's coming whether or not she pressed into something she shouldn't have, and honestly, by now you can't even remember what you were so upset about. You're just stressed about Izuku, is all.

Tenya takes you home when you've both secured your birthday presents for Tsuyu, and at the door, you pause. You wish you'd spent more time out of the house today. Confronting Izuku with everything going on is not something you're up for, and it's all you can do to hope he's still locked away in his office when you walk in. Tenya, sensing your hesitation, places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You're okay?" he asks.

You nod. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

"If you need to talk..."

He's watching you with this weird look on his face. Familiar. But weird. It's not an attempt to hide a lie, and anyway, you don't know why he would need to lie about offering help.

"Thanks. I'll keep you in mind."

"Um, [name]?"

He's still standing there as you pause with your hand on the doorknob. You wait, patiently, as he opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again.

"I... thank you for today. Truly."

"Are you alright, Tenya?"

He smiles. He doesn't glow. "Better than I have been in a long time. Don't let him worry you too much, alright?"

You smile thinly and nod. "Thank you for today. I think I needed this more than I realized. You've been distant since new year's, so I'm glad that whatever it is has cleared up. I don't think I could take you being mad at me, too."

He chuckles softly. "I could never."

He bids you goodnight, and you linger on the porch until long after he's gone, palm massaging a particularly itchy bite mark. The night air will be your comfort, if that is all you get to have.

~

This plan might possibly be ill-conceived.

It's funny; Neito never thought he'd question himself like this. Ever since his untimely death at the hands of his stepsister, he's been doing that plenty.

So now, every time he thinks back to tonight's plans, he finds himself preening. Smoothing out a shirt, then deliberately re-wrinkling it just to do something with his hands as he goes over it again and again.

"You're going to drive yourself insane like that."

He snorts softly. "And you're going to drive yourself insane worrying so much about me."

Itsuka leans against the door frame, hands clenched into fists. Normal-sized, thank god. "It's not like you don't give me reason to worry. I feel like a mother, and I'm not even out of college yet."

"Now, now, there's plenty of mothers in college. You know one of them, she brings her infant to our—"

She rolls her eyes. "I get it. You're obnoxious."

"Isn't that what siblinghood is all about?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

He can work with standoffish. The words are coming easier to him. Even just the one session with Dr. Fuyumi seems to be doing its work well, given that he and Itsuka are actually talking.

"You do realize how stupid this plan of yours is, right?"

"Isn't it?" He smooths out the cotton undershirt over the table once again. "But I think it's all we have."

"Did you try asking her for the records?"

"What good would that do? If she said no, not only would we be at square one, but she'd be more vigilant. She'd know to keep an eye out for missing records, and she'd know who'd taken them when she noticed them gone. Like this, she has no reason to suspect anything."

She sighs. "I get it, but... this is illegal, you know?"

"A lot of things are illegal. But you know, many ethical theorists agree that the most moral action ignores the concept of justice in favor of—"

"Oh my god, do not talk to me about philosophy. Just... this is me, trying to talk you out of it. And if you and your friends get caught stealing the therapy records of one of your classmates, I'm going to tell the police that I tried to talk you out of it. So just, do me a favor and pretend like I've talked you out of it. If you go out and do it anyway, I don't want to hear about it. So if the cops ask, I'm not involved, you're my stepbrother and you're crazy and I honestly thought I talked you out of this stupidity. Got it?"

"Aw," he teases, "I'm glad to have your blessing."

The smack to the back of his head is well worth it.

~

The receptionist isn't cold, but she's not talkative, either. Hitoshi keeps his phone on his lap, waiting for the signal from Mina. Namely, for her to walk in through the door.

Tsuyu to Heist Crew at 6:32PM

Tsuyu: We're here. Hitoshi, heads up.

Hitoshi: cool. no cameras in here. I love patient privacy rights.

Tsuyu: I'm sure you do.

He glances up from his phone at the receptionist, who's hard at work with some stack of papers at her desk. One deep breath. Another.

This is for you.

"Hey, where's the bathroom?" he asks.

"Oh, it's down the—" She chokes on the words, face going blank.

Bingo.

Hitoshi: come in.

"Stay in your seat and close your eyes." A precaution.

The girls file in quickly, gloves already in place. Hitoshi snaps his own onto his hands.

"Give me your keys to the building."

The keys wait in her palm. He takes them carefully, and the trio strides into the back of the office.

It couldn't have been better-timed. Neito's appointment was the last of the day, which meant no distractions. No risks.

"Tsuyu, you check the receptionist's computer. Mina, with me. We're going to search the file room," he whispers. Several nods, and they're sliding down the hall.

Dr. Fuyumi Todoroki likes to keep files on paper. It was a nice quirk for Neito to notice during their first session: she wrote every single thing down. According to Neito, corroborated by both Mina and Tsuyu, you started attending therapy right around two years ago. Mina takes the filing cabinet labeled "2047", and Hitoshi beelines to "2048", to cover both potential years.

And it's easy. It's almost too easy. He finds a file with your name on it, calls off Mina and Tsuyu, and slaps the entire thing into the copier. With the copies in place, stapled, your file is returned, and then everything is locked back up. They slide out of the back, Tsuyu joins them, and then Hitoshi is handing the keys back to the receptionist. "Put these back in your desk drawer and close the door."

When she obeys, Mina and Tsuyu walk out with the copied file in hand. Only then does Hitoshi give his last command. "Forget you ever saw me or these two."

There's the subtle twitch of the expression, and then he walks out the door. When he's sure every sign of them is gone, he releases his hold and tells himself that this hasn't proven anything.

Hitoshi to Neito at 6:36PM

Hitoshi: hey, I'm going to wait at the cafe down the street. let me know when you're out of your appointment.

He pockets his phone. No sense waiting for a return text that won’t come.

The three of them hang out in said café as long as they can. Hitoshi nurses his coffee, watching with an approximation of amusement as Tsuyu does her damnedest to keep Mina from blurting about everything they just did. When a lull comes in the conversation, Tsuyu catches his eye.

“You’re a really quiet person.”

“I’m just tired,” he replies.

“Constantly?”

“Yes. Constantly.”

There’s a moment of pause, where she seems already to know whatever it is is running through Hitoshi’s mind. Honestly, he’s not even sure, until he’s saying it.

“It feels weird actually reading the notes we got,” he admits with a shrug.

She nods. “I feel like we have to. This won’t work if the notes don’t back up everything we say, right?”

“Not to be your resident killjoy, but we don’t know if it’ll work at all.”

“So we’re all clear?”

Hitoshi turns to see Neito, standing behind their table looking absolutely elated for someone who wasn’t even directly involved in pulling off their little heist. “Yeah. We got them. Get your vanilla latte or whatever and we’ll take a look to see if it’s any good.”

Neito pauses. “How did you know my coffee order?”

“Wow, that’s seriously it? You are easy to read.”

When Neito returns with his coffee, Hitoshi lays out the notes on the table. “We need to get our story straight with the notes. If even one detail is off, they’ll latch onto it and this whole thing falls apart.”

He wishes he’d made multiple copies of the notes. Luckily, Tsuyu and Mina needed a refresher more than anything, having been there, so the notes were mainly shared between Hitoshi and Neito as they laid out the details.

Regardless, they keep their heads down, their nose to the work, and they iron out every last detail until they’ve got a truth powerful enough to smash your thrall.

This better work.

~

You don’t know how long you sit on the porch. The night air is a comfort, and Izuku’s front door seems just so heavy tonight. So you sit. You breathe. You think of the fight with Izuku.

You don’t think you’re unjustified in wanting him to live. You don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask someone not to do something which might very well kill them, let alone to ask that of someone you care deeply for.

But… shit, you get it. He’s going after someone who destroyed everything he cared about. You have to understand that, and you do!

But…

You continue to turn the “buts” over in your head, passing them back and forth until you’re dizzy with the effort to just stop being mad at Izuku.

“I really hate this,” you whine into the cold.

“Aw, that’s too bad!”

A shrill giggle.

The cold isn’t just in the air now. It’s in your blood, in your lungs, in the glint of metal in the hand of—

A man. He’s tall, ratty-looking, with features you can’t make out in the dark. It’s just as well—they’re dripping away into a far more familiar sight.

You’re not sure if the scream leaves your mouth or stays viciously stuck in your throat.

~

“So then we’re seriously doing this!” Mina chirps as they stride out of the café at last. “[name]’s gonna get all her memories back!”

“Seems like it.”

“When should we go talk to her? I know she’s been kind of down lately, but—“

Mina’s phone rings. She takes it out, glances at the caller, and, brows furrowed, answers it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Surprise on her face morphs into trepidation. Trepidation morphs into horror. If a girl with pink skin could go pale…

“W-where? I’m with most of the others right now. Everyone but Tenya, actually…”

A pause. A nod. Hitoshi hasn’t even tried not to pay attention since she answered the phone.

“But why did… why did you call me?”

“…yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Um… are they… how are they…”

“No, yeah, I’m okay! Yeah! I… I have to be, right? This isn’t the time to be… You know what, all of you. Walk with me. Tsuyu’s car. Now.” She gives an urgent look to Hitoshi and the others, and they each go along with it. Mina doesn’t drop the phone from her ear until she’s sat in the passenger’s seat and everyone’s buckled in, and even then, only to give Tsuyu the address to a hospital.

“When do you think she’ll tell us what’s going on?” Hitoshi whispers to Neito, who shrugs.

“I’m sure we’ll find out…?”

“Izuku, listen. They need you to breathe right now. We’re on our way. Have you called Tenya?” A pause. “Okay, I’ll call him. Tsuyu, is his place on the way?”

Tsuyu nods. “He’s not far from the hospital.”

“Stop to pick up Tenya.”

Tsuyu nods, knuckles white on the wheel. Mina goes back to her careful attempts to talk Izuku through whatever’s happened. The others in the car just have to wait to understand, apparently.

As though that’s fair to anyone.

Tags: @tooloudarts​ @xxangelpridexx​ @warmchoccymilk​ @lirinstaalem​ @izoodles​ @my-bnha-things​ @denise-the-death-goddess​ @themerpenguin​ @sincerelybubbles​ @fudobaby​ @imabootywarrior​ @chickynn​ @fuc-kingmonkey​ @vinumumbra​ @the-secret-thief​ @lianatriestosurvive​ @kc-korra​ @kiliakit​ @hay-leeeah​ @meowkid1000​ @mha-baku-todo-deku-kiri​ @jojo-buttercup​ @starfishlovingbnha​ @neomuxuxi​ @lollawindsay​ @mrsreina​ @anime-simps-blog​ @wwwwyamd​ @omiwashere​ @emilytheeggy​ @subwayslander​ @thelittle-witch​ @sparkexplosive​ @shoutaaizawas​ @vanilladyfics​ @stargazerunlimited​ @luigisdivorcelawyer​ @chaoticevilbakugo​ @deeplightgarden @stxrrielle @idonthaveanameideayet @snowymaltese @bnha-babygirl

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[whoselabelisitanyway]

Hello i couldn't help but notice that u offered urself up as a resource for info abt N24 (sorry if i got that wrong, feel free to ignore this.) So as someone who very recently found out abt it and also probably has it, do u have any resources? Links or articles or anything for me to look at? Anything you could/want to share abt it??

Hey! Yes, I'm happy to write about my experience with N24. (It's not fun, but it's reality for many people.) The sad thing is that I don't actually have many online resources as far as articles and such. A quick internet search showed me Non-24-Hour Sleep Wake Disorder: Definition and Causes | Sleep Foundation which seemed to be a good overview (more articles linked at the bottom of the page). It's very clear that there hasn't been enough research done in a practical sense, though. Treatment options are few, and there aren't any that are at all flexible. Which, I'll just say it, sucks.

For me personally, my N24 is pretty severe, with my days lasting about 30 hours or such, so that I'm awake for something like 20 hours at a time. None of the treatment options presented to me (melatonin and/or light therapy) were effective (I have unusual environmental factors against me, though). That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them, IMHO - but I would caution you against accepting whatever sedatives doctors are handing out these days. If that's their initial reaction/treatment advise, ask them if that medication is approved and tested effective for long term usage. (It won't be - if I'm wrong, lmk, because I'd like to be wrong.)

Lastly, I'll tell you a bit about how I got my diagnosis. The biggest factor was a comprehensive sleep diary. Sometimes they'll ask you to do a sleep study as well, to rule out other sleep disorders. A sleep diary is crucial in helping the specialist evaluate the progressive time changes in your sleep patterns. I recommend getting a low-cost sports watch (with a small profile so it's comfortable to sleep in) if you don't already have one. That was a huge help to me when I was documenting my sleep patterns.

I hope that helps! I wish I could give you better news, but I do believe it's preferable to know what you're dealing with than to not - even if it's not something with an easy fix. Let me know if you have any other questions - I am not a sleep doctor or physician, but I can speak to the realities of living with N24. If I can help others at all, I like to. Good luck!

[uniquelyuncanny]

The Hate on Hazbin Hotel

A little thing I wanted to say my piece on is, the hate on Hazbin Hotel.

First off, if the subject matter, story line, character design, or general premise of the show, doesn't appeal to you, then just don't watch it. NO ONE is forcing you to engage with a piece of media, it's your choice to do so, but please, you've got far better things to do with your time than hate watch something, or watch it purely so you can give an 'informed critique'. The second thing, a 'critique' used to mean (and I'm taking the direct definition here) a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory. But moreover, it's supposed to be a fair judgement, meaning you weigh BOTH the positive and the negatives of something, and deconstruct why that may be (usually including a little self analysis if you want to get extra credibility points.) A critique DOES NOT mean, I'm going shout from the rooftops about this thing that I don't like, go out of my way to spread my negative opinion on the show everywhere, and vilify anyone who disagrees or who doesn't outright agree with my opinion.

The thing here is, it's new, and the marketing team has done their very best by putting it everywhere to get people to watch it. That's their job, they wanted to expand their audience for the premiere of this new show that's been in development for around 4 years now, in the hopes of making it's launch a success. Blood sweat and tears have gone into this show whether you find it appealing or not, and it's changed a lot along the way from what it used to be, both for better or worse.

Now, I'll admit, I'm not a down in the trenches fan. I watched it, I thought the songs were nice, I enjoyed the show but I'm not overwhelmingly invested in it. But I am a fan of animation, heck I even did a degree in it cause I loved it so dang much, and what I hate is for people to claim 'bad animation' cause it 'didn't click' with them, or they think it's an eyesore/ugly.

You watched, you didn't like it? Good, now you have a better understanding of what you do and don't like, move on. Cause regardless of anything, the context for what makes something good, is typically very subjective and often agreed upon after the initial fanfare has died down.

Let those who DO enjoy it, do so without your burdensome criticism. You're not beholden to engage with something you don't want to, if you do, THAT'S ON YOU not the shows creator, not the animators, the advertisers, the voice actors, the music writers, the score composers, the spreadsheet managers, the pre-production crew, the overly pushy streaming service you're watching it on, or even the team behind Spotify marketing management. Just you. The rest, are doing their jobs, the least you can do, is let them do it in peace without making it all about you, and your negativity.

The other main 'booing' point I've seen is 'bad writing', and I'm sorry but that's so funny to me cause like, they JUST released the first season. THE FIRST SEASON. As in, hopefully, the beginning of a story. Not a complete story, more like a chapter, a starting point, a general introduction if you will, of where the development team (writers included) get to set up the ground work for the REST of the story to play out in. (While also hoping that it gets renewed so they actually have a chance to continue it). You can't KNOW that it's bad writing, cause you don't know where the story is headed or how it's planned to play out. How many shows or books, that were presented as being the first of something, have you indulged in, where after you have finished the first season or book and gone, well that was a completely satisfying experience and all the story line points were perfectly executed and made complete sense in a delightfully fascinating manner that kept me engaged with the thrilling story? Cause I know I haven't, and I'd love to have more stuff like that, (so if you genuinely have any recommendations please do send them my way).

The thing is, if you don't like the ultra brand spanking new show animated show Hazbin Hotel that's currently being talked about on social media, that's perfectly okay. Wait a month, there'll be something new for the internet to fixate on to a nauseating degree soon enough. There's nothing wrong with you if you didn't like the humor, or the characters just didn't do it for you, or the character design made it a bit chaotic to get invested in. Those are all perfectly valid points and opinions, and you are welcome to share those opinions in spaces where people have similar opinions as you. But for the love of all things good, don't spread that kind of nastiness onto people, or into spaces where people clearly do not share that opinion.

A little bit of consideration for the people who actually like and enjoy the show, especially those who worked hard to get it out to world, would be lovely, cause again, no one is forcing you to be here or indulge in this media, you're making a conscious choice to be an asshole if you deliberately spread overtly negative opinions about something to people who clearly love it. It's nasty human behavior, and is reminiscent of adolescent bullying tactics and the need to present yourself as 'cool' and 'different' simply by hating the newest 'popular' trend.

It's actually sad, boring, and overall, uninteresting discourse that I'm honestly over seeing pop up in fan spaces.

My end point is, this kind of behavior? Not new. I remember hearing and being flooded with the same discourse over, The Simpsons, Futurama, Teen Titans, Young Justice, Bojack Horseman, Cowboy Bebop, (and many others I won't waste time naming) and literally every single animated show that managed to get a chance in the spotlight over the years.

So you don't like Hazbin Hotel? Good for you, don't watch it, don't talk shit about it, leave it for those who actually like it and find something that brings you joy that you actually like to spend your limited time on earth with. It costs you nothing to be kind, and not every opinion needs to be heard by the masses, it's actually okay if you don't talk about something that's popular, I promise. Rant over.

[gorgeousundertow]

get to know fic writer ask :D 8, 13, 14, 20, 27, and 58

Wheeeee <3 <3 <3

8. Do you prefer writing the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Middle, usually. Beginnings are fun, I'm reasonably good at beginnings, because by the time I'm starting to write I've done a fair bit of work planning it out and I'm excited to get to it. Endings are fine, I feel like I do a reasonably good job of tying things off neatly. But MIDDLES. Middles are where the meat is, where the sauce is. It's the part where you get to play.

13. What's a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Planning. I didn't used to do this, but I do now, and it serves me So Goddamn Well. I sit with a fic before I start to write it, and I map out just about everything that has to happen in it, beat for beat, all the way until the end. I'll usually get snippet ideas while that happens, and I'll write those down, too, until I have a document that's several thousand words long and I haven't even technically started drafting it yet. I feel like it's made my writing SO MUCH STRONGER.

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you draw from what the characters feel, or personal experience?

I mean. I don't have a lot of personal experience of what it's like to be, say for instance, a gay ww2 soldier. But I try really hard to get myself into the mindset of what this character would be feeling and experiencing, and how they would respond-which is often not at all how I would respond. I tend to write characters who don't say much about how they feel, or even really recognize their own emotions, necessarily, and I'm more likely to tell people in Great Detail what I'm feeling. There's something so challenging and exquisite about writing emotion without using emotional words.

Like, okay. Here's a scene from Serpentine, and Brad and Nate are thinking ya know, might die today.

They didn’t hug. Nate stuck out his hand and Brad gripped it, the clasp firm and long. They didn’t say “Be safe,” or “Semper Fi,” or “Stay frosty,” or any of the other things each of them had said over and over again to other men. They didn’t say anything at all. But they shook hands, and Nate’s fingers were long and oddly graceful beneath the ever-present dirt, his grip strong and steady. Brad thought that he could probably feel Nate’s heartbeat in his palm, and that it, too, would be strong and steady—and he held tight and he looked into those green eyes and he didn’t say anything out loud but he thought Nate probably heard anyway. Eventually they let go. 

Brad is not a guy who is going to allow himself even to think things like "I'm scared" "What if he dies" etc. So it's about a handshake, but it's also about that.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words, themes, etc.?

Well, I sure am drawn to writing guys who can't express themselves! And I swear a lot. And it's definitely spelled come, not cum.

27. Most and Least favorite parts of writing?

I looooove writing dialogue. LOVE IT. In some other universe, I'm a screenwriter and I never have to deal with scene-setting. I HATE tracking timelines and consistency, and I know I need to slow down and set the scene better sometimes/

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy most? brainstorming, outlining, drafting, editing.

Lol it's definitely not editing! I think I probably enjoy brainstorming the most, because that's when I'm on fire with it. Outlining can be exhausting. Probably drafting comes second? I enjoy the process of writing, the hunt for an elegant sentence.

[lord-luci]

Absolutely all of this but also, for people who are new to reading academic texts/just started college, here's some tips that have saved my ADHD ass when it comes to the mountains of academic texts I gotta read.

- If you can manage it, do your best to get a print version (or an ebook version that you can annotate). Don't sit in front of your computer with an uneditable PDF in front of you, you'll most likely just give yourself eyestrain and/or a migraine without absorbing anything from the text. School libraries frequently have texts, or you can print them. There's probably a way to make PDFs available/annotable on kindle or whatever, but I'm technologically useless, so I don't know how.

- Once you have your editable text, annotate it. If it's a text I gotta read closely (like for a professor who will quiz on every single detail), I write down the main idea of each paragraph next to it. It doesn't need to be long, sometimes it's just one or two words that give a quick summary. If it's for an assignment where a professor is asking specific questions about the text, I'll write the number of the question next to any paragraphs/sentences that have an answer to it.

- If it's a longer text or one where I'm using it for my own research, rather than a specific assignment, I'll skim it first and just put a sticky note or highlight sections that seem particularly relevant. Then, on a second reading, I'll read those sections more closely and note down the ideas in them. I'll usually go back for a third re-read after I've gotten the main ideas, to check if they're present in the sections that I didn't pre-mark in the first readthrough (usually, they are).

- If there are words you don't understand, look them up and write their definitions in the margins (or however e-readers let you take notes, if you're doing it digitally). It'll save you from a lot of misunderstandings, especially if the reading you're doing is in a foreign language (brought to you by me hilariously misunderstanding one of my German readings this week because I mistranslated a word).

- For scientific papers, most will have a clearly defined abstract and conclusion. Read those first, get the general idea of things, and then dunk yourself into the text itself. This is especially helpful if it's a topic you know very little about.

- If your vision is skipping between paragraphs (ancient books with your tiny fonts, my beloathed), cover up paragraphs with a sheet of paper. This generally works best after you've already done an initial skim through the text and have a general idea of things, because otherwise you might get bogged down in the wording of things and miss the main idea.

- Plan time to reread stuff. Even if you think you got the idea, rereading never hurts.

- Also plan time to take a break. Some people might be able to stare at academic texts for six hours without break. I am not those people. Most people are probably not those people. If you find your eyes glazing over as you stare at the page, it's probably time to take a step away and go grab a snack or stretch your legs.

Academic texts definitely generally aren't a "oh lemme just do some light bedtime reading" sort of thing, so it's okay to feel frustrated. Learning to read them is a skill and it takes practice, but you'll manage it in time.

i genuinely have no animosity towards ppl who get upset abt not being able to read academic texts + i do think we need to expand the pathways/methods of being exposed to critical concepts so that "sit + read for 2 hours" is not the only option.

however, as someone dx with adhd + incapable of sitting still for even a minute (actually right at this moment i am writing this instead of reading the book sitting open in front of me), i do feel like a lot of ppl do not realize that not all readings are designed to be read like a novel.

as in, it's ok + normal + good to need to reread a paragraph several times, to only read part of a book, to have to research or reference words or concepts in order to grasp the reading, to skip over large chunks of text which are not relevant to your expertise, to continue reading despite not understanding a concept. this is something 'neurotypical' academics do frequently + many of these texts, especially contemporary ones, were designed with this in mind.

there are many ppl with accessibility needs that are not being met by academic texts at this time! many texts (in my humble opinion) are unnecessarily complex in order to show off or hide the fact that they have no idea what they're talking about.

i still feel like many of the kneejerk reactions on this site are based on the assumption that their experience reading academic texts should be similar to their experiences reading a nyt bestseller, rather than a process of thinking, analyzing, researching, processing, returning. some of u are telling yourself that any challenges u face while reading are a result of some internal fault u have + not an expected + precious part of the experience.

[shoujohn]

I should start writing again I mean blogging. I've always enjoyed the activity of trying to conjure and articulate thoughts to form a presentation of words to venture ideas. Although my confidence in vocabulary and commentary is scarce, this should definitely help. And maybe I'll learn to understand myself better.

I realize that in having no partner romantically nor platonically, I lose myself. What is my role as John in this world, comprised of? What am I good at? What am I to be relied for? What is it that people can look up at me for? I really don't know and get lost with the thought then spiraling happens. Is it concerning that I've normalized spiraling for me? Maybe. The things I do.. things I work hard for... is for me? I question my efforts because I always look to others for affirmation. Like why??? Am I so self blinded that I cannot realize or even measure my self worth? Or maybe it's so obvious to me that I look towards what I lack and make that my reality.

Delusion. Hehe, I've definitely had my toxic relations with being delulu. It's a tool, a weapon, an excuse,... an escape. Incorporating the topic of self worth, delusion has definitely paved a mental path for my growth as a person. Initially, delusion was a vice to help power through the days. The days my sorry life lived through. It's only sorry through my lenses. I feel as though I failed my... purpose? No. Dreams? Nah, too early for that. So what did I fail? Oh maybe my own self expectations? The fact that I know I could've made it better? Hmm, I can honestly claim that I've done typical "dumb" things as a young adult. Gave in to substance abuse, dropped money on lust, hurt people supposedly dear to me, slowly and unknowingly(?) started to stop giving a shit about myself, and so many more that's personally specific to my own adventure in life. Why did I choose to do these things despite knowing they're not good?.... Hmm..... One easy answer I can say on behalf of myself is the fact that I fucked my first relationship and my second fucked me. Thing about me is that I'm a simp. And I would like to say it's due to my ever-so-lasting crave for companionship and straight up male instinct. Maybe it's because I never found comfort in my own home with family growing up and I'm on a constant search for that sense of belonging. Maybe I just crave to be understood? I'm sure a lot of people do. Maybe I just want to be comfortably myself infront of an individual without any sense of anxiety. I'm always scared to be seen a certain way... it's probably trauma. The comments and words of others that I've experienced throughout life has shaped me. I'd say more bad than good. But let's not ignore the good. I'm still alive. And I've danced with the thought of suicide before so I wanna count this win as much as I can. I'm still this crackhead lunatic that displays questionable curiosity.

Anywayyyyy, I'm gonna tangent more and more. I still wanna play tft and rot in bed. Let's continue this tomorrow.

I claim this post as a landmark of my journey to self re-discovery. Yeah, this should be easier than my fitness journey that I've been trying to start 5 years ago. I hope in finding continuity to journaling like this will help me find consistency in things I have aspirations for.

It is 21:30 on August 20, 2024 and I close this log.

Thank you and good night!

[capriciouscaprine]

happy new month to everyone!!!

I have SO MUCH to do for my coursework, but I wanted to take the time to write a post about what I'm up to currently, what this month holds for me, and what my goals are for the future as we all head towards summer

currently, I just hit a goal # this morning, although it didn't feel all that impactful, and I'm pretty sure that's bc I both didn't get enough sleep last night and bc I don't have any rewards set up for myself besides the emotional reward of hitting that goal; obviously, I need to be consistent about getting enough sleep and have rewards ready for myself, but both of these are uniquely tricky right now bc I have an absurd sleep schedule (6 pm-2 am), no time, and even less money

I'm coming out of a six week full time unpaid internship, so my hours were drastically cut at my actual job; instead of five days, I was down to just two, and they were the two days the least amount of work and thus fewest available hours to get paid; I got a boost from cat sitting for my neighbor, whose cat needs careful monitoring and specific medicine on a pretty strict schedule, but this pay cut was on top of paying tuition for the semester, so I currently have negative money aka am carrying a balance on my credit card, to the tune of $3.5k (oof)

the good news is that with spring pollen comes increased hours, as my job is on a farm with both plants and animals; we've got seedlings to water and plant, babies to feed, and field trips to prep for and manage, so I've jumped from 3-4 hour days to 5-6 hour days, five days a week; I get paid pretty okay ($16/hr after taxes), but I still typically get less than 30 hours a week, so my monthly pay is only around $1.5k (rounding down for safety, especially since this a very recent jump)

looking forward to things happening this month, I have my final paper for my most important class of my entire masters degree, due WITH a presentation and handout on April 10th, and then two weeks later (less than or exactly 14 days, iirc) I must give a comprehensive presentation (and possibly turn in some other stuff??) about myself, my internship, my previously mentioned final paper, and a problem from our final exam, which will determine if I get my degree or not

oh, and I need to plan and record another internship observation, which I had been under the impression that I wouldn't need to do, which is due by the 15th, right in between all of these other things being due

I am under immense pressure right now, and it's definitely having a negative impact on my mental health; I'm managing not to burst into tears constantly or run away to the woods (a very short distance for me, so particularly tempting) thanks to both succeeding at other goals and knowing that their are specific dates for all of this to be over by; all I have to do is turn everything in on time (even if it sucks), and I'll be done with this degree by the end of this month and officially graduate in early May (ugh, need to order and pay for my cap and gown this week (~$200))

heading into next month, after everything is turned in (seems impossible to imagine, tbh, which is why I'm writing this post), I'll be free to PLAN and SET GOALS

(I'm so excited!!!)

like I said before, my pay isn't high and I've got debt I need to address on top of more bills coming in the future (six months of car insurance D: ), but I have to believe that I can get everything paid for and still have enough money to have a tiny bit of fun, too; I need to still down and draw up a budget, ESPECIALLY for food since I'm going to finally have time to make more things for myself!!! which will absolutely be cheaper than all the pre-made and pre-portioned meals and snacks I've been buying

the last time I had a big goal, I had a bar and a line graph to track my savings (my house down payment! ty 2018 mini recession, you made home ownership possible); now it'll be the double whammy of 'saving' for bills and paying down the old debt, plus I'm genuinely at the point of needing a new phone WITH a case, and all the actually functional phones with enough storage space, etc run just under $350, so with accessories that could be $500 aka NOT an impulse purchase!

otherwise, my big goal is to clean up my house: it has been TRASHED by consecutive roommates, but particularly by the most recent one; I have bits of stuff taking up space from everyone who's moved in and then out again over the past 5+ years, but the last one (who I made a whole rant post about) was so filthy when it came to using the kitchen that they left me an infestation of MULTIPLE types of insects, some of which I've never even seen before!!!

here in the southern US, we already deal with some insect trouble bc it doesn't get cold enough to fully kill them off, plus they can always be brought into a clean house from our great outdoors, which we have lots of; it isn't unusual for even the shiniest of mansions to get a roach sneaking into a bathroom or a line of ants running into the kitchen

in comparison, my house is genuinely disgusting, and I haven't been able to DO anything about it since classes and thus deadlines started back in August; the good news is this project won't take, relatively, that much money, and I even have a pretty good idea of what all I need to do to almost completely fix this! the only real problem is that it'll take a fair bit of physical labor and thus energy, which I don't always have a lot of, so I'll need to be strategic and get things done in phases and also not give up!

there are a lot of expensive things that have gone wrong and need fixing around the house, and there are even more expensive changes I want to make; I need to remind myself that all of these will happen in time, and I need to not obsess over them or let them demotivate me as I'm working towards addressing the issues that I can

in the far-flung future (it feels like), getting my degree means I am qualified for teaching jobs!!! math and teachers in general are in pretty high demand in my area (where aren't they right now?), and the pay is relatively high, as in double the highest I've ever made before in my entire life; once I've got my degree, I can dedicate myself to getting one of those jobs at a nearby school, and at that point, once I start getting those paychecks (fingers crossed), a whole new world will open up for me!!!

[superlustersnew52]

Ooh a plot twist from Lyta!! Our judges are stunned into silence!!

Ever the professional, Diana was the first to speak up with a clear of her throat. “For the record this is not a requirement, Harley was attempting at a joke before, that being said you’ve done well for presentation Lyta. A good way to make sure any judges don’t simply write you off. This is quite difficult for me. This is the hardest round so far. However I may have to go with Clara this time around. While I would absolutely love to get intimate with Lyta’s hole, this competition is primarily for shape, look and wobble. Youve done well though. You no matter what the other judges say, you can leave with your head held high, knowing for a fact that every Amazon I know would go to town on you until you wouldn’t even be able to remember your own name.”

Diana’s words finally took lois out of her daze. Her eyes fixated on the perfectly shaped hole before her. Still she had a job to do, and she followed suit. “Diana is right, knowing you can get Amazon attention is a huge compliment, first time my ass got a slap by one increased my confidence immensely. Make no mistake I say this with perfect objectivity, I think you kind of have the same thing as Faora. It’s amazing and oh my GOD those presentation points, even if they amount to much, god it’s so hot. But it’s rather shapely in a toned way. A bit more solid, so I’m gonna have to choose Clara this round as well.”

The two judges looked over to Harley’s chair, only to find it empty. Somehow, Harley snuck underneath and went to the stage without anyone noticing. She was currently eating out lyta’s ass like there was absolutely no tomorrow. Making out with it, licking it, and even putting her tongue inside. “It’s perfect, you’re perfect, you’re amazing, feel free to use me if you have any frustrations.” She panted, her eyes glazed over and a bit sex crazed. The two other judges sighed squeezing the bridge of their noses. “Let’s just move on, the votes are clear anyway.” Diana said.

Alright, despite the flag on the play of Harley’s objectivity… Clara advances. While we go look for a new judge please welcome the contestants for the final round. A repeat round, but rest assured even identicals can have different asses from their counterparts. Please welcome Bizzaro and Astra In-Ze!!!!!

Lyta hummed as Harley ate out her ass, she was so eager for it. Even if she lost the competition, she'd certainly found a prize of her own, "Harley, dear, feel free to come find me once this is all over. I'll definitely be happy to let you further acquaint yourself with my ass..."

Bizarro walked on stage, wearing an outfit that was quite similar to Kara's old skirted costume, but with the symbol on her chest flipped. She hiked the skirt up enough to give the judges a better look at her ass, though. It was quite similar to Kara's, but not exactly...Bizarro wasn't as active as Kara, so her ass was a bit fatter, and less toned. She shook her ass a bit and gave it a couple slaps, "Me am certain that me am going to lose this...Bizarro's ass is so small..."

Astra's ass was different from her twin's in the other way as Bizarro's was to Kara's. Astra's ass was more toned, and had a bit less fat than her sister's, due to the fact that she'd always been active in the military rather than sitting around like Alura did. Lyta before her had inspired Astra, so she'd also walked out nude, letting her bare ass speak for itself as she spanked and shook it, "Oh, don't be like that, Bizarro. You have a nice ass. Not as nice as mine, though." Astra teased, knowing that Bizarro just said the opposite of what she meant, "Can't let both myself and my sister leave in the first round, right? It would be quite the insult to MILFs..." Astra wasn't technically a MILF, sure, but she still had the body of one. She knew she was at a bit of a disadvantage here, though, seeing as Kara had advances while Alura hadn't. That was why she'd had to go with the bold decision of going out nude.