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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #221: ... New Blood!

July, 1982

A semi-famous somewhat imitated cover!

Can you guess ahead of time which two will be joining the Avengers?

No cheating.

Actually, what’s funny is that I can imagine a Young Bendis looking at this cover, seeing Luke Cage, Spider-Man, and Wolverine all in a row like that and whispering to himself ‘one day... one day...’

Spider-Woman is even on this! This is almost the roster meme that Bendis would have selected his team out of.

Just as soon as he cleared the way by killing off Ant-Man and Hawkeye.

Anyway, I like the cute touch that there’s just a completely blank square for Sue Storm. And is she really still going by Invisible Girl at this point?

-google- Ah, Invisible Woman is still a few years off.

And at risk of spoiling, I like the cover pretending that Rom (Space Knight) could feasibly join the Avengers. Although that would have made a hilarious mess when the rights lapsed. A whole swathe of Avengers comics unavailable.

So, where are we at?

Last times on Avengers: Captain America decided that the Avengers had become too unwieldy. They’d settled into a filler rut and Cap wanted them to be lean and mean.

So the old order changeith’d! And Moondragon meddled, causing half of the old team to quit. But Cap got his lean team of himself, Thor, Iron Man, Wasp, Yellowjacket, and Tigra.

And then Yellowjacket Hank Pym had an ‘attempted murder out of insecurity’ breakdown and tried to murder his friends and was a very bad husband to Wasp as well.

So Yellowjacket was out and Wasp took some personal time.

It was just Cap, Thor, Iron Man, and Tigra. And then Tigra quit.

Wasp rejoined but the trim team of six had become anemic at four and after some space mishaps, its finally time to try to do something about that.

As Iron Man declares in title-of-the-issue font they need some ... NEW BLOOD!

And Wasp declares ‘yes we all know that already we’ve just been putting it off.’

(And they finally got the big meeting table back from the cleaners or wherever its been. Thank goodness)

But the question that Chairperson Wasp poses the team is should they re-induct some ex-members or go looking for some truly new blood?

Thor is brooding on the recent events, where Moondragon manipulated the Avengers previous roster shakeup and later when Moondragon took over a planet and got Thor to fight his friends.

So Thor’s point, by way of dwelling, is that they should be careful with who they choose.

Thor: “Thus can no action, no thought made by any of us in the last weeks be truly, absolutely claimed as our own. Not even... mine.”

There we go. There’s that good Moondragon induced paranoia I was hoping for.

And character wise, I do like that there’s fallout from the Ba-Bani misadventure. Whether being forced to fight his friends or being made to fall in love with Moondragon or being convinced to side with her plan to bring mandatory peace to the universe. Thor has been affected by what happened.

Cap suggests that they clear the slate and just judge potential members on their current qualifications.

So what qualifications should potential Avengers have?

Captain America: “Compatibility. Someone who can work in a team.”

Iron Man: “And technical expertise. Perhaps someone good with weaponry.”

Thor: “We’ve enough strength, methinks. But courage is important. Aye, and a noble heart.”

Wasp: “Well, I know exactly what this group needs. More girls!”

Good suggestions. All good suggestions. But very good suggestion from Wasp.

I know that two women on one team is the low bar that Avengers tends to reach but you know what’s worse? One women on one team. And you know what’s better? Three.

Think about it.

The meeting gets cut short because Jan has to go do Jan things like show off fashion at the Tavern on the Green but she tells the others to figure out who they’d like as new Avengers and then they’ll all decide at their meeting next week.

As the Avengers all head off, Captain America mentions to Iron Man that hey remember how Hawkeye used to be an Avenger all the time? Weren’t those good times? He worked well on the team, was real into being an Avenger.

Iron Man agrees that sure is a Thought but flies off thinking more about Jan’s suggestion to have more women on the team, albeit probably for less than pure reasons.

Thor meanwhile doesn’t have anywhere to be so sits down in the sitting room and reads a Time magazine.

Jarvis brings Thor some mead and Thor asks who Jarvis would enlist for the Avengers if Jarvis was given the choice.

Jarvis is surprised to be asked but does his best to speak off the cuff.

Jarvis: “Why, I - I really hadn’t given it much thought! But since you ask, I feel that some of the best Avengers have started as the most unlikely candidates. For example, those with strongly individual, independent natures seem to have worked out surprisingly well.”

You’re a good guy, Jarvis.

And you’ve got a good point. Since the Avengers were pretty much everyone who wasn’t on a team jammed onto a team together, the Avengers kind of have as foundation strongly individual independent superheroes managing to do a teamwork anyway.

And Thor just so happens to be reading the Time magazine that has a picture of Spider-Man on the front (along with “Friend or Menace?”) and thinks huh individual and independent??

Oh boy!

Spider-Man going to be offered a spot on the Avengers? Is it 2005 already?

Goofs aside, this is an interesting callback maybe.

All the way back in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #3 (November, 1966) which I didn’t cover but probably should have if this was a more comprehensive Avengers blog but then I may have died under the enormity of the task.

Uh, that sentence got away from me.

Anyway, in that Spider-Man Annual, the Avengers debate whether to recruit Spider-Man for their team. Thor is the one there to find Spider-Man and bring him to the mansion. The Avengers decide to test him and (after Spider-Man tries to beat up the entire team because that’s what Spider-Man thinks proving himself is) they send him to bring the Hulk back with him.

He finds the Hulk and fights the Hulk but Hulk turns back to Bruce Banner and Spider-Man feels bad for Bruce and doesn’t want to turn him over to the Avengers (not knowing that they want to help Hulk). So he comes back and says welp couldn’t find him guess I’m not Avengers material byyyyyye.

The other Avengers go huh I guess he wasn’t Avengers material but Thor seemed to suspect what had really happened.

So my rambling point is that its appropriate that Thor again thinks to recruit Spider-Man for the Avengers because of that previous story.

Later in the day, Iron Man calls Captain America.

Although as Cap points out they know each other’s civilian name now so why be formal?

Iron Man: “Captain America? This is Iron Man.”

Captain America: “Hey, Tony, let’s make it ‘Steve,’ okay? I’m off duty.”

So Tony “Iron Man” Stark has managed to stop thinking about more woman on the Avengers and has actually started to think about having Hawkeye back on the Avengers and has to admit, it sounds good to him!

So Captain Steve says they should go together tomorrow and see what Hawkeye thinks.

This is a nice sequence.

Its nice to see how the two learning each other’s identity plays out like this. Tony trying to stick to how they’ve known each other and Steve making a not subtle overture for them to become more familiar.

This is probably good shipping fodder, I realize!

But it is also good friendshipping fodder. It can be both.

Elsewhere and meanwhile, at the Van Dyne residence, Janet puts her own recruitment drive into... drive?

She’s invited every super-heroine in the country she can think of to brunch but she has no idea how to get a hold of She-Hulk.

Not even her state of the art computer system can find her! Granted, the state of the art computer system is for analyzing fashion forecasts and not news reports about She-Hulk sightings.

So Jan decides that if you want a She-Hulk you’ve got to spend a little green.

She has her assistant take out a bunch of full-page ads in all of the major west coast newspapers. And heck, buy a bunch of commercial time too!

Jan is going to do some I Want You (to Join the Avengers) ads!

She is ludicrously wealthy.

I went and checked and her original inheritance was ‘only’ three million dollars but the way that she throws around money I’m pretty sure she has managed to get some lucrative investments. That or she’s just super good at being a fashionista.

Granted, blowing a bunch of money for a chance to have brunch with She-Hulk is a pretty good reason to blow a bunch of money.

Later, as twilight comes, Thor is flying around Central Park because he has no idea how to find Spider-Man but hears that he’s often around “the meadow-lands called Central Park” and happens upon three goofuses who just robbed a pawnshop.

These goofuses are such goofuses that one of them is wearing groucho glasses as a disguise. Another one is wearing a clown mask.

Which, like a moth to fire, aggros Spider-Man just to mock the guy.

I’m pretty sure rather than flying around aimlessly, the best way to find Spider-Man is to create the perfect quip opportunity.

A clown: “I’m gonna kiss every dime o’ my share -- just as soon as we get to the hideout so’s I can take off this stupid mask!”

Spider-Man, suddenly: “Aw, c’mon, Bunky, leave it on! I’ve always wanted to bust a bozo who looks like a bozo!”

Groucho: “S-s-spider-Man!”

S-s-spider-Man: “But enough of this clowning! Wanna give up?”

Dangit, Peter. Good wordplay.

But before can catch these thieves just like flies, down came the rain and washed the spider out.

A sudden, inexplicable (cough cough Thor) localized storm tosses around the thieves until they surrender.

After the police lead away the goofus thieves, Spider-Man comes dripping wet and with a bone to pick.

Spider-Man: “Do you have any idea what it’s like running around in wet tights?”

Thor is like sorry bro but I’ve come to talk so Spider-Man agrees but they’ll need to go off somewhere private because the press is honing in on him to ask him bonkers questions about whether he came in a flying saucer.

I think they’re thinking of a certain emissary of hell.

That darn press!

Spider-Man and Thor relocate to a high rooftop for their talk.

Spider-Man: “Now, Goldilocks, what’s your beef?”

Thor: “Thy protective demeanor is unneeded, my friend. I have no ‘beef’ -- only a proposal. The Avengers are seeking new members, and I wouldst offer thee such position.”

Spider-Man: “You... Thor... want me as an Avenger?

Spider-Man is still not sure if it would work out (reflecting on Spider-Man Annual #3) but he’s also really flattered by the offer. And presumably how the offer wasn’t accompanied by “BUT FIRST YOU MUST PASS OUR TEST!”

So he can’t just accept the offer off-hand but he’s definitely going to think about it.

Even if you don’t join the team, even just being considered is an honor.

The twilight turns into night turns into day, and Cap and Iron Man show up in Hawkeye’s place of business to bug him.

Don’t know if you remember but Hawkeye has a cushy job as head of security for Cross Technological Enterprises. And he actually does take the job seriously which is why he’s a little concerned, at least for his professional pride, that Cap and Iron Man got past his guards.

Cap: “Avengers priority -- never leave home without it. In fact, we’ve come to offer it to you.”

Smooth. Smooth, Cap.

Although I do like that they can just march up to the guards of this company and go ‘hey let us in we’re avengers’ and its not even a ‘ok i’ll clear it with head of security hawkeye’ its ‘yeah sure go right in and do you want any paperclips?’

Anyway, Hawkeye has his pride so he tells Cap not to expect him to come crawling back after the Avengers booted him out (actually Gyrich because Gyrich wanted the Avengers to have some ding dang diversity. Its weirdly the least assholeish thing he’s ever done although he approached it very much in an asshole way).

Point being, they kicked Hawkeye out and he has a new super cool job now.

Iron Man takes this show of wounded pride in wounded stride, just asking that Hawkeye consider it and let them know when he makes a decision.

But Hawkeye doubts he’ll decide to come back to the Avengers because he’s got a good thing in this steady, respectable paying job which comes with job security and respect!

And then, suddenly struck by the realization that he, Hawkeye, is turning down a drama implosion like the Avengers to do the adult thing?? Hawkeye doesn’t like what he’s become.

And he stares in horror at the trappings of power and respectability. The sex and the drugs.

Or a Playboy magazine and a personalized coffee cup, at least.

And he decides to give Iron Man his answer right then and there.

Which, of course, involves shooting arrows. This is Hawkeye we’re talking about.

What’s amazing is that we’ll learn later this issue that he’s going to keep his security job and do Avengers on top of that (and in fairness most of the Avengers don’t have Avengers as their only thing). But he just shot an arrow through a glass door in his place of employment.

But you don’t hire Hawkeye if you don’t expect that kind of thing so I can see why it wouldn’t impact his job.

So that’s Hawkeye as a YES and Spider-Man as a ‘I’ll get back to you.’ And as the weekend arrives, it’s time for Janet van Dyne’s superheroine brunch.

And on the hill above the van Dyne house, its our old pal Fabian Stankowicz.

Remember? The Mechano-Marauder? Built a robot suit to beat up the Avengers, none of them took him that seriously? Iron Man beat him up solo without trying very hard and then got angry about Hank Pym?

Anyway, he’s back, somehow, and he’s salty about the less than dignified experience he had in issue 217. But this time, he has a new plan!

Fabian Stankowicz: “They laughed at me! Mocked me! But I’ll show the Avengers that the Mechano-Marauder is not to be toyed with! I’ll attack their weakest member when the others aren’t around! She’ll be helpless! *Heh-heh-heh*”

Well. Good luck with that, my dude.

Sue Storm-Richards, the Invisible Girl, arrives and Jan introduces her to the other prospective Avengers: Dazzler, Spider-Woman, and Black Widow.

All good candidates, really.

Especially Dazzler.

Well, Beast left and Tigra left so somebody needs to be the new funny person.

Apparently, Spider-Woman doesn’t like puns because she immediately starts getting catty with Dazzler.

Spider-Woman: “Nice going, Blaire! You’re showing all the polish and poise of a real pro!”

Dazzler: “Oh? And I suppose crawling on walls like some yucky insect is ‘professional’?”

Spider-Woman: “I sting, too”

I guess, they have some history in Dazzler’s own book that didn’t go over well. Black Widow has to lean over and tell them to cut the shit out for Jan’s sake.

But then the last invited guest shows up.

ITS A SHE-HULK!

She saw the ads and she’s come for the free food!

Relatable.

Outside, Jan’s chauffeur Mr. Carrothers sits on the limo taking a smoke break and reflecting how good he has it working for the Wasp. Good pay, casual hours. The most he can complain about is that it gets a little boring sometimes.

That’s probably tempting fate because the All-New All-Different Mechano-Marauder stomps up to the house. Remember how Fabian threw the limo last time? Mr. Carrothers remembers.

He panics and runs into the house and tries to warn the assembled heroes.

And yet.

They didn’t really leap to action, huh? I mean, I get it. Brunch.

Even after the robot fist has punched through Wasp’s frankly ludicrous window and kidnapped Dazzler, Wasp is more annoyed than anything.

Wasp: “Fabian Stankowicz, you get that thing out of my living room!”

And then has to explain to her guests that Fabian is some chump that Iron Man beat up and that he wants to make a name for himself by defeating the Avengers. And Sue is like ah yes I understand completely.

But chump or not, Black Widow decides that they should rescue Dazzler.

Dazzler: “I don’t think I need saving, folks! This guy’s just holding, not squeezing!”

And so much for the brunch bunch taking this any amount of serious.

Sue just puts up a quick invisible dome to keep Fabian from getting to the rest of them which the Mechano-Marauder instantly bonks into and bangs on impotently demanding that they let him in.

Careful, Fabian.

You’re memeing yourself.

Dazzler saves herself when she gets tired of being carried around. She does her Dazzler thing with the bright pulse of light, blinding Fabian.

He drops Dazzler but she’s caught by She-Hulk.

The blinded Mechano-Marauder drives around blindly, thinking “These women aren’t even Avengers! They can’t beat me!”

Alas, Dazzler decides the same decision she decided in #211, that she’s a singer, not a fighter.

And Sue also decides to head off, saying that she’s too busy with the Fantastic Four anyway.

Shame.

But can we talk about the sheer audacity that Jan had of trying to poach Sue from the Fantastic Four to the Avengers? The nerve! The verve!

So that’s two of her candidates declining but that still leaves Spider-Woman, Black Widow, and She-Hulk.

And unfortunately for Mechano-Marauder, the first two are the two that have decided to kick his ass a little for entertainment reasons.

Spider-Woman’s venom blast damages one of the giant robot fists and Black Widow swings around Hoth-style and trips the Mechano-Marauder into the ornamental pond.

Alas, after literally dunking a giant robot into a pond, both Spider-Woman and Black Widow turn down the offer to join the Avengers.

Black Widow has private business that are keeping her busy. And Spider-Woman doesn’t even offer an excuse.

In fairness, she has her own solo book over in California and that’s a heck of a commute. I’m actually impressed that she came all this way for brunch.

Fabian is fed up with being treated as an after-thought in his own fight scene and bursts out of the pond, yelling how he’s going to destroy them all!

All.... uh, two that’s left at this point. Yup, he sure is going to destroy all two of them.

She-Hulk has been fairly low-key this whole story, especially for She-Hulk. I’m pretty sure she came to the brunch just for the food and she hasn’t reacted much to Fabian, even when the others were. She caught Dazzler but she hasn’t had much to say since arriving. She’s mostly been standing with her hands on her hips, watching things play out.

But I guess she’s gotten tired of Fabian. Or maybe it falls to her as the last guest.

She tells him to shut up and breaks his robot suit with one punch.

Fabian has one last trick up his Mechano-Marauder sleeve but its a dumb one.

His ejector seat is actually a backup robot suit. Annnd, its so heavy that it sinks into the ground. Trapping him.

Good job, Fabian.

She-Hulk goes to give him one more punch but Wasp stops her. Because she wants a shot at him.

And wow! What a shot!

At full not small size she crosses the streams to focus her bio-power stings into one concentrated beam and blows a hole in Fabian’s escape suit.

I’ve talked before about how Wasp’s pew pew stings have seemingly gotten souped up under Shooter and I think this is another good example. I mean, she’s not blowing up a house but combining the blasts to do precision boring is another cool application we haven’t seen before.

Anyway, now Wasp goes teeny and flies into the hole she made and up into the helmet to blast Fabian in the face. So hard his helmet flies off.

Wasp: “That’ll teach ‘im for ruining my party!”

And that’s that for brunch.

Days later, Jarvis calls the State Department to request official clearance for two new members.

And we see part of the process of that. Interesting if you’re interested in the logistics of an officially recognized superhero team.

I guess what’s interesting is that Henry Peter Gyrich is still part of the process.

You’d think he’d have been replaced or something after the Avengers very publicly embarrassed him and got emancipated from him. I guess he keeps doing the necessary liaison stuff without ever talking to them.

The requests for the two new members cross Gyrich’s desk and he takes it to the White House where the request gets signed by Ronald Reagan.

(The two new members are Hawkeye and She-Hulk by the by. We see it on the paperwork. Guess Spider-Man is still thinking it over.)

Anyway, I guess its interesting that new Avengers are a matter that goes all the way up to the president.

God, I’m glad that for the modern team, Cap told the US government to fuck off because I don’t want to even think about that still being a thing.

The next day after the paperwork is signed, Hawkeye is on his way to Avengers Mansion in a cab. He’s reading a Time magazine about the change in the Avengers’ roster and reflecting that it’ll be hard to hold down two jobs but worth it because he’s missed the adventure.

Check out the Time magazine though.

The cover of this comic book issue is in-universe the cover of Time magazine! That’s neat.

But Hawkeye’s cab is suddenly cut off by a pink Cadillac.

And Hawkeye being Hawkeye doesn’t just grumble and go about his day. He commits assault. Because this is Hawkeye.

The guy that Cap and Iron Man wanted back for being a good team-player.

So he gets out of the cab and shoots the pink Cadillac with an EMP arrow that fries the car’s electrical system.

Really abusing that Avengers Priority Status already, huh, Hawkeye?

The one mistake he made is that the pink Cadillac belongs to She-Hulk. She in fact earned it by doing a car commercial for Wacky Willie’s Wheels-And-Deals so you might imagine she’s fond of it.

So she picks up the cab with Hawkeye in it and leans it against a lightpole.

And then she picks up the Cadillac on her shoulder and walks off with it.

She-Hulk knows how to make a lasting impression, I’ll say that.

But soon after he gets down from the taxi and stops in at an ER to make sure he’s not concussed, Hawkeye arrives at Avengers Mansion to rejoin the team.

Hawkeye: “Okay, folks, life can go on -- Hawkeye’s here!”

Iron Man: “And it’s about time! We were starting to get worried. What happened?”

Hawkeye: “Oh, nothin’ much -- not ‘til some freaky Amazon tried to play dominoes with my taxi!”

She-Hulk, lurking silhouetted by the window: “‘Amazon’, eh? I don’t suppose it could have been -- a green Amazon?”

That is a powerful energy you have there, She-Hulk. Powerful energy and a power move in a power suit.

And that’s how Hawkeye’s day was ruined. Also how the two new additions to the team start with bad blood.

Conflict! We gotta have it!

Wasp: “Hawkeye, She-Hulk. I’d like to officially welcome you both. From now on -- you’re one of us. We’re one of you. And we’re all -- THE AVENGERS!”

Jan’s trying a new thing where she kisses every new member. And they both have to bend down a little for her.

Also, another new Wasp costume! Wasp gonna Wasp!

This is another good, light-hearted decompression issue. The Moondragon two-parter had some yuks but also mind-control sex and Drax’s brain melting. So this time Wasp throws a brunch and Cap and Iron Man help Hawkeye escape the drudgery of an adult job.

There’s a lot of what could have been with Wasp’s guest list. What if she could convince Sue Storm to take a break from the Fantastic Four to try being on the Avengers.

She’ll join later, in the Worst Roster but she’ll join with Reed. I’m thinking more of a thing where Sue gets some time away from the family. I don’t think it could last long and it would need the Avengers and FF writer to be on the same page but I think it could be interesting - Sue getting to be on a team where she doesn’t have to be the adult in the room and doesn’t have to work alongside the family.

It’s a similar reason to why I’d like to see adult Cyclops join the Avengers. He’s so tied in with X-stuff and being the leader of X-stuff that I want to take him out of that context and see a new side of him.

Spider-Woman and Black Widow also could have been interesting. They’ll both become Avengers later. I don’t know that Dazzler ever did and she presents interesting opportunities.

The Avengers have had Wonder Man who was also trying to break into acting while being an Avenger. So Dazzler trying to pursue her singing career might just be a retread of that but what if she were more successful and was a celebrity on the team.

The Avengers kind of are celebrities but I think it’d be a different feel if they had a famous (disco) singer on the team.

Interesting stuff (for me) to think about, anyway.

Something else to talk about is the creative credits. Jim Shooter is credited for plotting but Dave Michelinie as writer. And looking ahead, Shooter is not going to be the solo writer again in the near future.

I think we’re getting to the point where Shooter’s going to be too busy with EIC duties to keep up writing the Avengers. He’s going to get plotting credits for a few more issues, probably loose threads he’s handing to other writers.

So the second Shooter run is going to end soon. Shame. Very much a shame. It wasn’t a very long run but he put a lot of energy and humor into the book.

Next time: Egghead’s back and he’s bringing a new Masters of Evil. Wow, it’s been a while since we’ve had them and they’re supposed to be the Avengers’ evil opposite team.

And Egghead is the not very impressive criminal mastermind who couldn’t beat Hank Pym so instead framed him for crime. Hopefully the new Masters rise above that level of menace.

Follow @essential-avengers because I’m bringing you the She-Hulk content you crave. I assume. I took a poll and one out of one person said ‘this is the She-Hulk content I crave’ and I extrapolated from that. Also you should like and reblog because She-Hulk would want you to.

#Avengers #Mechano Marauder #Iron Man #Captain America #Thor #the Wasp #Spider Man #Hawkeye #Invisible Girl #Dazzler #Spider Woman #she hulk #Black Widow #essential avengers #ten issues since the last one that had a bunch of guest stars #its a bunch of guest stars and a roster change!#essential marvel liveblogging

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lady-divine-writes · 6 years ago

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Klaine one-shot: “Fair Play” (Rated PG13)

Summary: Blaine has a crush on the head cheerleader from another school, so he does something kind of desperate to get his attention. Will pretending to be team captain for one game work out the way he hopes it will? (3244 words)

Notes: Okay, I'll admit I cheated on this one. It's another re-write. My brain is Swiss cheese, and it's been very difficult for me to think. But aside from that, as a person who has lived in the shadow of an older sibling who was always a few grades ahead of me, I have always been intrigued by the possibility of this dynamic between Blaine and Cooper. Plus, I love this story line. So, I hope you enjoy it. Dalton Blaine Anderson/Cheerio Kurt Hummel

Read on AO3.

“Please, Cooper?” Blaine begged, bearing down on his brother as the older boy tried to avoid him. “It’s just this one game.”

“I said no, Blaine!” Cooper veered toward the parking lot in hopes of losing his annoying sibling amidst the rows of cars. “You just made varsity this summer. You don’t have the stones to play team captain, even for one game!”

“It’s a scrimmage! No big deal!” Blaine whined, keeping pace with Cooper from one aisle of cars over. “Carter did it last year when his folks came down from Michigan!”

“They were getting a divorce.”

“Wes did it! And Jensen did it the year before that! It’s practically a Dalton tradition!”

Cooper shook his head in defiance, but Blaine was right. Hell, Cooper had tried it his sophomore year, trying to impress a girl from Crawford Country Day. The majority of boys who try to front as team captain do it to impress a girl. No harm in that. But Cooper swore as team captain he wouldn’t cave to ridiculous requests, and this one was about as ridiculous as they got.

“Why would you want to pretend to be captain of the lacrosse team for a lousy scrimmage anyway? There’s probably only going to be twelves of people in the stands. Leading the team to victory for this one? It’s not like it’s going to make you a lacrosse God or something.”

“I … have my reasons,” Blaine replied, his voice dropping.

“And I haven’t heard any of them. I mean, come on! You want me to go against one of my principle tenets of leadership and you won’t even tell me why? That’s not right, Squirt. We may be brothers, but we’re also teammates. And I thought we were friends.”

“We … we are friends! Coop, I …” Blaine cut himself off, waiting until he’d caught up with Cooper so he wouldn’t have to yell across the cars when he told him his secret. “It’s because … we’re playing against McKinley.”

“Yeah? So? They’ve only had a lacrosse team for about three years, and they suck. They suck hard. Why would you even want to …?” Cooper stopped short, a devilish grin overtaking his entire face. “Oh, I know what this is about!” He turned on his brother, jabbing his index finger accusingly at his chest. “It’s their head cheerleader, isn’t it? That guy … uh … Kevin! No, not Kevin. Kirk!”

“Kurt,” Blaine corrected, his voice going dreamy as he sighed the name. Cooper rolled his eyes. Oh God. It seemed that puberty had finally caught up to his little brother. It wouldn’t be any skin off Cooper’s nose to let Blaine do it. The odds of anyone in the stands knowing the difference was negligible at best. But he deliberated, searching his brain for a reason to say no. Blaine was his baby brother, after all. Cooper couldn’t let the guys on the team think he was doing him special favors because he was family.

But then Cooper realized, he couldn’t care less either way.

Let Blaine try to woo his cheerleader. Win or lose, this could be amusing to watch.

“Fine.” Cooper grabbed the shoulder of Blaine’s jersey and led his starry-eyed brother to the field. “But you know you’re going to owe me. Big time. This is my reputation on the line here.”

“It’s a scrimmage,” Blaine huffed, “against the worst team in the high school league. I would say that you owe me.”

Blaine followed Cooper to the Dalton side of the field. Spectators had started filling the stands, but huge gaps took up more space than actual bodies. Cooper was right. Barely anyone came to scrimmages, and the ones who did were killing time till later when the after parties would get underway.

Cooper motioned to the boys warming up and running drills on the grass. “Fall in, guys. Come on. Fall in, fall in,” he said, bringing his team in for a huddle. “Alright, gentlemen, we’re going to be changing things up for today’s scrimmage. In the grand tradition of Dalton boys who've ever wanted to bang an away team cheerleader, Blainey here” – Cooper put heavy hands on his brother’s shoulders and shook him like a rag doll – “will be taking over as team captain. Let’s try and make him look good. If he manages to get himself laid, drinks are on him.”

One boy bitched about nepotism being expressly against the Dalton Academy charter, but the rest of the team hollered, clapping Blaine on the shoulder and making suggestive remarks about the inadequacy of his ball and stick handling as they retreated to the locker rooms to suit up. They passed through the parking lot as the McKinley buses rolled onto the asphalt. Blaine dropped back, walking slowly and peeking over the cars to see if he could catch a glimpse of the cheerleaders’ bus. It was a long shot that the varsity cheerleaders would even be there. Sometimes only the JV cheerleaders accompanied the lacrosse team on away games.

The varsity Cheerios were National Champions, and the McKinley lacrosse team was that bad.

No need to send rock stars to cheer on a sinking ship.

The guys caught Blaine lagging and grabbed him. They surrounded him, dragging him through the parking lot, not giving him a chance for any further investigation.

“You … you jerks!” Blaine grunted, trying to pull away, but four boys had him, one on each limb, and that was enough to subdue him.

“Calm your tits, Anderson,” one of the seniors said. “Your cheerleader’s here.”

After that, Blaine gave up the struggle. That was all he needed to hear.

***

When the Dalton team came back out onto the field, geared up and ready to play, the McKinley team was already there, gathered in a huddle, talking over their plays. The cheerleaders had assembled on the sidelines, some of them stretching, some practicing cheers. In the middle, helping a junior cheerleader thread red and white ribbon curls into her high pony, stood Kurt. He looked as miraculous in his formfitting uniform today as he did the first time Blaine saw him, at their first Dalton/McKinley scrimmage, which took place at McKinley High last season. Ever since then, Blaine’s had been a long distance infatuation. He followed the cheerleading blogs, signed up for a fake student account on the McKinley website so he could view the team’s student access only webpage, and went to every cheerleading competition he could in order to cheer Kurt on. Blaine stalked Kurt on every form of social media, sending him anonymous messages on Tumblr and poking him on Facebook. And when Kurt’s boyfriend of two years broke up with him, Blaine ‘liked’ his Facebook status and silently cheered, hoping that this was the year he might get his chance.

Blaine had to come up with a gesture, something big to win Kurt over, but first, he had to make sure that Kurt knew he was alive. Being team captain was part one of that master plan. (There wasn’t really a part two. After Cooper’s initial ‘being a member of the Dalton lacrosse team is an honor and a privilege’ speech, where he outlined that under no circumstances would any player be receiving preferential treatment no matter who they were or how well they played, Blaine didn’t think he’d get this far.)

But it didn’t matter, since it didn’t seem to be doing the trick. Even when the Dalton team took to the field and the announcer went through the team roster, mentioning that Blaine would take the place of team captain for the scrimmage, Kurt barely looked his way, deeply embroiled in a discussion with two other cheerleaders over the correct way to land a round off-whip-double back handspring-layout, a move that Kurt demonstrated so effortlessly, so flawlessly, Blaine couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

Blaine didn’t know how much Kurt was paying attention during the actual game, but the opposing team figured out fairly early on that Blaine was distracted, and he became their main target - a critical failing of McKinley’s team. But the majority of their lacrosse team was made up of football players after McKinley’s ‘acting principal’ disbanded the football team in order to redistribute football funds to the cheerleading squad. No one knew the whole story. Most people assumed it was a joke. Regardless, the Dalton team readjusted their strategy, and it eventually worked to their advantage.

Blaine wanted to keep an eye on Kurt, to see if Kurt was watching him, or just to watch Kurt flip, which Blaine could do all day, but he had to keep his head in the game or he was going to make a bigger ass of himself than he had already. He only saw Kurt in snippets and side-glances, cheering for his team, one time performing a jump split that almost stopped Blaine in his tracks. The next time Blaine got a chance to look Kurt’s way, there was a guy standing beside him. Blaine didn’t know if Kurt knew the guy. He wasn’t wearing Dalton or McKinley colors. From what Blaine could tell, Kurt didn’t seem very comfortable around him. The boy introduced himself, and Kurt nodded politely. The boy talked to him, and Kurt took a few steps away. Then Kurt excused himself, going back to his bag for a water bottle, and while the other cheerleaders formed a pyramid, the boy grabbed Kurt. He put a hand over Kurt’s mouth and dragged him toward the bleachers. Dalton had control of the ball when Blaine saw, but whether they did or not, it only took him a second to decide what to do.

“Time out!” he screamed. “Time out! I’m calling a time out!”

“Dalton Academy has called for a time out,” the announcer said over the sound system, then continued to jabber on about how this was their first time out, what the score was, and yada-yada-yada. Blaine didn’t care. He’d stopped listening, zeroing in on the boy with his hands all over Kurt.

“Blaine!” he heard Cooper yell. “You can’t call a time out now!” but Blaine was already running across the grass towards the far bleachers.

The McKinley cheerleaders knew Blaine had a thing for Kurt. They’d been teasing Kurt about it for most of the game, which was why he had drifted away from the pack - to escape the persistent jokes for a while. When the giggling girls saw Blaine coming, face set as stone, eyes seething, they realized that Kurt wasn’t with them. They fanned out along the sidelines, looking for their missing captain. A brunette cheerleader found him and his attacker. She grabbed at the larger boy’s shoulders and shoved him. He stumbled forward, but didn’t let go. He had a firm hold on Kurt’s waist, and took Kurt down to the grass with him.

“Get off of me!” Kurt screamed, spinning around and getting in a right hook that made Blaine wince, both for the impact to the boy’s jaw and Kurt’s fist. “Let go of me!”

One of the other cheerleaders kicked the boy in the side while another tried to pry Kurt up, but the boy on the ground was too massive for any of it to be effective.

The people in the bleachers were too far away or too preoccupied to see the attack going on, but other players on the field began to take notice. One exceedingly tall boy (whom Blaine had heard referred to as ‘Frankenteen’ by one of his teammates) bellowed, “Kurt! Oh my God! Kurt!” from the field behind them.

“Hey! Butt wipe!” Blaine yelled, throwing down his stick. “Let him go!”

The boy on the ground looked past a fighting Kurt in his arms to Blaine standing over them and chuckled. “Or what, prep school?”

Blaine didn’t say. He simply walked up to the boy and planted his cleated heel into the boy’s crotch. The boy, wearing sweat pants, wailed in pain. He reached for his groin and Kurt took the opportunity to bolt from his arms.

“Or that,” Blaine said, more sadistic than smug, as he stood and waited for the boy to stand, or for an official, a coach, or a referee to come out and do something. Blaine could have left it at that. He could have walked Kurt away and let the officials take over, but then the boy on the ground sat up, and he had to open his big, dumb mouth.

“You can have the fucking slut,” he grumbled through gritted teeth. “He’s not worth it.”

That’s the moment when any shred of Blaine’s good judgment flew straight out the window and he slugged the boy in the nose with the force of seven years of boxing and three years of Dalton Fight Club behind it.

“Holy fuck!” the boy screamed, hands cupping his face, blood dribbling past his palms and down his chin.

Ironically, that’s when the adults took action. In about half-a-second after Blaine’s punch, the officials and the referees made a ruling.

“Acting team captain for Dalton Academy Blaine Anderson has been disqualified for un-sportsman-like behavior!”

The stadium roared, spectators from both sides who had witnessed the scuffle on their feet when the announcement was made. The McKinley cheerleaders rushed the officials’ box, both teams converged on the referees, everyone vying for a reversal of the call considering the circumstances. But Blaine knew it wouldn’t happen. He’d gone a step too far, and there was nothing he could do about it.

But he wasn’t going to apologize. No frickin’ way.

Blaine didn’t hear anything else. He didn’t look to see what was happening. He knew that Kurt was with his team and safe, and that was all that mattered. Aside from that, he didn’t want to be there anymore. He picked up his stick and walked off the sidelines, feeling the eyes of the school, the crowd, and Kurt, watch him go.

Blaine walked straight back to the locker room and started to undress. He packed his uniform in his gear bag, deciding he’d wait to take his shower at home. He didn’t want to stick around. He should probably just leave his gear there. He blew it this time. Not only did he not win the guy, he was going to get tossed from the team for sure.

And knowing his brother, he’d be hand-washing jock straps all weekend long to boot.

Somewhere between putting his sneakers on and starting to tighten them, he heard a throat cleared. He assumed it was Cooper, fresh off the field to mock him and tell him what for, rib him for throwing his high school lacrosse career away for a guy he didn’t even get. It would be dubbed ‘a classic Blaine maneuver’ from now on. Anyone who screwed up in anyway anyhow trying to get a date will be said to have pulled a Blaine.

And he had a whole year of hearing that to look forward to.

But Blaine didn’t have time to mope about that because he had bigger issues ahead. Without lacrosse, Blaine would have to search out other extracurriculars, like yearbook, or photography. Maybe stamp club was looking for a president, provided they were willing to have a loser of his caliber head their organization. But he needed something to pad his NYU application since lacrosse was off the table. The Warblers would be next after word got out. This isn’t a Warbler activity, but they have a morals clause. If he is caught displaying behavior unbefitting a Warbler at any time, he could be expelled.

Blaine had read the Warbler bylaws from cover to cover. Fighting was considered a one-strike offense.

He’d figure something out. He just didn’t want to figure it out now, and not with Cooper’s inevitable sarcastic excuse for help. Cooper was his only brother, so he should be sympathetic, but Blaine always got the feeling that Cooper thought he existed solely for his amusement.

“Look, Coop” - Blaine kept his head lowered as he tied his shoes so he wouldn’t have to see the I told you so grin on Cooper’s conceited face - “whatever you’re going to say, save it. I’m not in the mood for your crap.”

“I was going to say thank you.”

Blaine’s eyes snapped up. It wasn’t Cooper … thank God! Blaine smiled, surprised to see Kurt standing in the doorway. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Kurt said, stepping into the locker room. He had his red-and-white cheer duffle thrown over his shoulder, and he favored his right hand, which was wrapped in an Ace bandage. “I wanted to talk to you, but you left so quickly.”

“Being disqualified will do that to you.” Blaine tried to sound bitter but failed with this handsome cheerleader’s beautiful blue eyes gazing at him with admiration.

“They’re still discussing that, actually. The game’s a wash, but after all the people who rushed the field to vouch for you, you might get off with a warning.”

“Yeah?” Blaine felt relieved, not that helping Kurt wasn’t worth getting disqualified over. It totally was, but it was nice to know that so many people went to bat for him … which probably meant Cooper did, too.

Shoot. Now he owed him two.

“I just came by to … I wanted to … you know, thank you, for coming to my rescue.”

“You’re welcome.” Blaine let himself feel hopeful, but not too carried away. “But you don’t have to thank me. That guy was an ass. He got what he deserved.”

“And then some.” Kurt chuckled, thinking back on the boy lying in the grass with his hands over his nose, blood pouring out like a geyser.

“No.” Blaine stood and took a step up to Kurt with anger simmering behind his eyes. “No, he got exactly what he deserved. No less.”

Kurt bit his lower lip and nodded, taken back by Blaine’s conviction.

“Anyway,” Kurt said, “I thought that maybe since you forfeited a scrimmage to help me out, I might introduce myself. You know, properly.”

“Uh, sure. Okay.” Blaine held his right hand out for Kurt to shake, mildly uncomfortable now that the time had come for him to tell the truth. “I’m Blaine Anderson. I begged my brother Cooper to let me be captain for the scrimmage so that maybe you would notice me.”

“And it worked.” Kurt reached for Blaine’s hand, but at the sight of the bandage, he switched, shaking Blaine’s hand awkwardly with his left. “I’m Kurt Hummel. I spent the last hour or so watching you get your ass handed to you, and I wanted to know if maybe you’d consider getting coffee with me?”

“Don’t you have to go back with your bus?” Blaine asked, mentally kicking himself right after for not saying the words, “Yes! I’d love to!” instead.

“Well, I am head cheerleader,” Kurt said, rocking back and forth on nervous feet. “I can pretty much do whatever I want.”

Blaine liked the sound of that, since doing whatever he wanted might include dating a member of an opposing team.

“Yeah,” Blaine said, tossing the last of his stuff into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Good,” Kurt said, taking Blaine’s arm when he offered it. “I didn’t want to think you were stalking me on Facebook because you were some run-of-the-mill creeper.”

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine #frankie writes

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hippiechickrunningco-blog · 6 years ago

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Hi.

I'm Kelley, the owner of Hippie Chick Running Company. Check out the store at http://www.hippiechickrunningco.com. Nice to meet you!

A little bit about me and my running journey?

Well, I was an athlete in a variety of sports from junior high through college, but I never considered myself to be a runner until later in my adult life. In fact, I hated running as a child.

I joined the track team in high school to help a friend spend time with a boy she liked (they eventually married, so in the name of love, it was worth it!). My condition to join the track team: throw discus and shot put. At one point, the coaches asked me to fill in the roster for the hurdles because of my height. I was OK in the 100 meter hurdles but in the 300 meter hurdles--HA! I was dead last. Every. Time. Beat by at least 100 meters. OUCH!

I found that I actually could throw discus well. Not awesome enough to be recruited by college teams, but decent enough to walk on to my college's track team. I felt so powerful and graceful when I threw a disc. The college track team became my second family. Worst part of practice: running. With the runners. Luckily, I survived.

I started a full time job after college graduation and like most people, couldn't "find" the time to workout. Typical effect: gained weight. Ugh.

At some point, I decided to get a handle on my health and my well being overall. I joined a gym, tracked my food, listened to hypnosis CDs, lit scented candles...all the fun stuff! At the gym, I still could not make myself run. I found comfort in yoga sessions and boot camp workouts. I felt strong again and the weight I had piled on since college melted off.

And, once I had a handle on my health, I got pregnant. I slowly discovered how I could treat myself to snacks that I had religiously avoided for the prior few years without gaining weight. Being a baby incubator worked well for my body. Until it didn't.

I enjoyed weigh ins through the first half of my pregnancy. At the mid point, out of the blue, my body was disobeying me and my weight skyrocketed. By the end, I gained 60 pounds. "It's OK," I consoled myself while eating a bagel slathered with an inch of cream cheese.

I breastfed my beautiful baby girl for six months. I promised myself that as soon as she weaned, I'd start working out and track my food intake.

Truth be told, I did miss my yoga sessions. So, I joined a new gym but just could not get into the groove with yoga like I did pre-pregnancy. I was constantly worried about the baby. And work. And family. And friends.

I quit the gym, and decided that I would try running. All I needed was a good pair of shoes. We have lots of trails and running paths near my home. I started a C25K program. It ramped up too fast. I was discouraged. I tried a different C25K program. Better than the first program, but I was still out of shape. I decided to create my own C25K program based on several published programs with the biggest difference being that I repeated the same week once before increasing to the next step. It took me twice as long but once I tested myself and ran a full mile without stopping, I found the confident me again.

Feet don't fail me now!

I (sort of) went overboard and signed up for a half marathon. What was I thinking? Seriously! I was able to run a full mile...13.1 would be harder but do-able.

I approached race day with excitement. All of the training paid off until halfway through I was booted off the course for my sssslllloooowww pace. I was ahead of the race's minimum pace but because I was in the tail end of the runners, the race officials decided to open the streets on the course early.

My stubbornness refused to allow me to quit mid-race. I scooted to the side of the road and thanked EVERYONE at the water stations who remained at their stations. I was so grateful to see the finish line. I walked to the car afterward and burst into tears as soon as I sat inside from the pride, sense of accomplishment...and the shame of being booted off the course for being slow.

Shortly after the half, I found out I was expecting my second bundle of joy. Running needed to be put on the back burner through that pregnancy. I was nauseous the entire 9 months and could barely keep my eyes open through the day. Luckily (surprisingly!), I didn't pack on more weight with my second pregnancy. But, I felt like a huge bump on a log.

I resumed running about six months after my second kid was born. I ran a few 5Ks and was thoroughly enjoying running (although not losing weight because I was so ravenous after each run). To keep my running momentum going through the winter, I joined a gym that had an indoor track in addition to treadmills. On bad weather days, I alternated between the indoor track and treadmills using the treadmill days to catch up on my TV shows (how did we survive before Netflix and Hulu?????). Good weather days, I enjoyed the local running paths.

Out of the blue, plantar fasciitis crept up on me in both feet one fall morning. After trying gadget after gadget, different stretches, compression socks, shoe inserts, and ortho slippers, I think I finally have the PF under control.

Which leaves me where I am today. My re-birth. More like my re-re-re-birth into running. This is a huge crossroads in my life with my other things also changing in my both my personal life and career. I am mentally preparing for the changes I must accept in my eating habits in addition to my running. My primary goal is to be healthy and fit. The icing on the cake (yes, I did just go there!), is losing weight.

I'm so excited about running that as I started researching training plans, clothing and gear, I decided that I wanted to harness my passion about running into this blog. It's my place to hold myself accountable. Having a store attached to my blog is a bonus where I can showcase my special finds and creative designs as I move along in my adventure.

I'm thrilled to be able to create a supportive and encouraging space to connect with other runners from all walks of life at all stages of their running careers: the first wave runners as well as the ones who join me in the back of the pack; the Galloway Girls, the trail runners, and ultramarathon runners.

Leave a comment below and tell me about your story! Where are you from? Trail runner? Road runner? Treadmill? 5Ks? 10Ks? Halfs? Fulls? Ultras? How did you start running? What motivates you to continue running?

#firstblog #hippiechicksrule #runners #run #running #womenrunning

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sportsgeekonomics · 4 years ago

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Quick Lesson on how to check if cutting a woman’s sport will get you in Title IX trouble

This is not a full blown lecture on how to comply with Title IX. You can read those elsewhere on this blog. Rather, this is a quick dive into one school’s data to show how you can check at home (or say, in the AD’s office) whether a school that plans to cut a woman’s sport will run afoul of Title IX or not.

Let’s take the case of Michigan State, which is on the verge of being sued for cutting women’s sports. Title IX has many components, but one of them says Michigan State has to meet one of three “prongs” related to female participation in intercollegiate sports. These are:

Whether intercollegiate level participation opportunities for male and female students are provided in numbers substantially proportionate to their respective enrollments; or

Where the members of one sex have been and are underrepresented among intercollegiate athletes, whether the institution can show a history and continuing practice of program expansion which is demonstrably responsive to the developing interests and abilities of the members of that sex; or

Where the members of one sex are underrepresented among intercollegiate athletes, and the institution cannot show a history and continuing practice of program expansion, as described above, whether it can be demonstrated that the interests and abilities of the members of that sex have been fully and effectively accommodated by the present program.

44 Fed. Reg. at 71418.

The first of these can be called “proportional participation” meaning you have to have your M/F ratio for sports be close to the M/F ratio for undergrad enrollment.

What is close for the purpose of participation? Well it’s a little squishy, but some sources argue that the standard is essentially the same for D1 colleges, i.e., participation is only “substantially proportionate” to the undergrad population if the ratios are within a point or two of each other, and this is the interpretation I find the easiest to work with:

So let’s look at Michigan state’s undergrad enrollment. As of the end of the 2018-2019 academic year [the last one for which I have data], there were 17,360 men and 18,231 women enrolled as undergrads at Michigan State. This is a 49/51 M/F undergrad ratio.

In terms of athletic participation, there’s a little trick school do, which they appear to be allowed to do, to make it easier to comply with Title IX. The data on participation can be calculated 2 different ways. One way, you simply count up the rosters of every men’s sport and women’s sport and add them together. Doing this for MSU gets you a total of 451 men and 449 women. That’s a 50/50 ratio, and that’s almost surely going to be close enough to be seen as proportionate to the 49/51 undergrad ratio.

But the thing is, that doesn’t mean 451 men and 449 women actual participate in sports at MSU. Often athletes on one roster are also on another -- especially in a sport like running, where colleges can have an outdoor track team, and indoor track team, and a cross country team. Michigan State appears to have a lot of double (or triple) dippers b/c those 451 men on rosters are actually only 370 actual men, and the 449 women on rosters are actually only 345 actual women. That ratio isn’t 50/50, but instead is 48/52. That is a 4 point disparity and so if the rule is with 2.0 percentage points, then MSU would be OUT of compliance and that would be problematic.

That said, my understanding (which could be wrong!) is that MSU is allowed to use the duplicative count, which means MSU is officially a 50/50 school and thus is the rare school that DOES comply with prong 1. This gives MSU a lot of flexibility compared to schools that don’t meet the first prong. We’ll come back to this in a moment to check whether the cut is ok, but let’s quickly discuss what happens if you don’t meet Prong 1.

Schools that don't meet prong 1 almost surely CANNOT cut a woman’s sport b/c they rely on prong 2, which essentially asks “have you been adding women’s sports over time and NOT cutting any?” The moment you cut one, you lose prong 2.

What about prong 3? Prong 3 sys you need to show you have met the desire of *every* undergraduate woman to ply intercollegiate sports. For one, that’s hard to do, but also it is hard to show. Schools rely on surveys but having to survey the population every year and hope you don’t let in a woman who wants to swim (if there’s no swim team) is dangerous. And since the swimmers are generally on campus before you cut the sport, cutting the sport almost surely runs you afoul of Prong 3.

So it’s prong 1 or die for MSU. And they currently meet it. But what happens if they cut women’s swimming? Well, According to the 2018-19 data, MSU had 34 women swimmers and 29 men’s swimmers. By cutting both sports, the (duplicative) participation count drops to 422 men and 415 women, which is still 50/50 if you round to the closest percentile. And so MSU just squeaks in under Prong 1.

As a side note, MSU is almost surely in violation of a different element of Title IX, which is the Financial Proportionality Requirement.

UPDATE: I’ve discovered the lawsuit also alleges violation of the financial proportionality rules and so this is not really a side note!

These rules state:

In order to ensure equity for athletes of both sexes, the test for determining whether the two scholarship budgets are “substantially proportionate” to the respective participation rates of athletes of each sex necessarily has a high threshold. The Policy Interpretation does not, however, require colleges to achieve exact proportionality down to the last dollar. The “substantially proportionate” test permits a small variance from exact proportionality. OCR recognizes that, in practice, some leeway is necessary to avoid requiring colleges to unreasonably fine-tune their scholarship budgets.

When evaluating each scholarship program on a case-by-case basis, OCR’s first step will be to adjust any disparity to take into account all the legitimate nondiscriminatory reasons provided by the college, such as the extra costs for out-of-state tuition discussed earlier. If any unexplained disparity in the scholarship budget for athletes of either gender is 1% or less for the entire budget for athletic scholarships, there will be a strong presumption that such a disparity is reasonable and based on legitimate and nondiscriminatory factors. Conversely, there will be a strong presumption that an unexplained disparity of more than 1% is in violation of the “substantially proportionate” requirement.

In practice, this means that because MSU is a 50/50 school for participation (as we’ve just shown above), it needs to be 49/51 or 51/49 or somewhere in between for athletic scholarship funding. Sadly, though, MSU gives 55% of all financial aid to men, putting them outside the +/- 1% cushion. Cutting men’s and women’s swimming almost surely doesn’t fix this, though the public sata I have cannot answer that definitively -- but the men’s swimming team would need to get a LOT of financial aid for these cuts to cause that, and in my experience men’s swimming teams rarely get a lot of funding.

So bottom line? As a quick first-pass based on the 2018-19 public data, and subject to seeing the school’s internal numbers, I would think Michigan State has managed to stay within the lines re: participation) by cutting men’s and women’s swimming but appears to be outside the lines re: financial proportionality. I am willing to be shown I am wrong though, so if you have a different view, leave a comment or hit me on on twitter where I am @andyhre

Further Update: I am told the swimmers allege the participation counts themselves have been rigged, by adding women to rosters who were not truly on the team. Nothing in what I’ve analyzed can show me data on that, and so to the extent that is true, all of my calculations are likely distorted. As a data analyst my output is only as good as the data inputs are true.

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dinoalexander · 4 years ago

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Your Moment of Zen: The Gourmet Academy’s Semi-Quotable 2020 Quotedown Quotetacular

The following blog entry are intended only for mature audiences. Reader discretion is strongly advised. Although it goes without saying about three quotes in, this is neither an incendiary nor defamatory tribute to the year past, although if someone were to put together such a “tribute”, I’d completely understand. Thank you. And enjoy the show. Because you helped make it. Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary conforming life forms across seven star systems... the Gourmet Academy’s World Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2020 Quotedown Quotetacular begins in five... ... four... ... three... ... two... NOW. === “This video is dedicated to touching.” -Harry Styles “Welcome to America's last public gathering.” -Jenna Riedi, the host of Geek Bowl XIV “Daniel’s New Year’s Resolutions 1) say something so brilliant, so irrefutably mind-bogglingly wowful that it makes the Quote Wall 2) organize the basement.” -Daniel “Didn’t you used to be Bill Simmons?” -Greg channeling Justin Lollie “Something new? Shouldn’t be trying it but I’m d-e-d today.” -Carl “This could devolve into something amazing.” -Jeremy “Good feeling: a Patriots loss. Better feeling: a Patriots loss in the playoffs. Best feeling: a Patriots loss in the playoffs in Foxboro.” -Travis “You are the master of the swerve.” -Klaussie “There once was a man from Nantucket.” -Ethan “Neighbor and I both have our windows open, and I refuse to do one more thing tonight until I figure out which episode of “Cheers” she’s watching.” -Adam Nedeff “Is there anyway we can CGI Matt Lauer out and replace him with Christopher Plummer?” -Greg on Matt Lauer on SNL “What’s the favorite network of the 2017 Houston Astros? BUZZR!” -Klauss “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Lost her virginity to Tom Jones.” -Sara “That’s not unusual.” -Megan “Oh look, goats! (Whiff) Oh god, goats.” -Q “The Whiteface on the Joker poster is a pretty good representation on the Academy Award nominees this year.” -Gordon “If you spend your life with a paper bag over your head, do you also need to wear a mask?” -Kevin, on the Unknown Comic "He Gay - He Christmas in Macy's Window Gay" - Mercedeze - The Circle. “Spock is gonna slap your ass.” -Greg on Zach Quinto in “The Slap” “Smeargle!” -C “I’m at the Battle of Atlanta, usually I’M the one on fire.” -Greg as Time Traveling Rip Taylor “Sexual Game Show Chocolate.” -Cyndi’s nickname for Chico “He has exact change! What was I supposed to say.. No?!” -Q “WLTI has been brought to by the Tom Brady Laundry Service - when you need stuff to be washed and blown....you know where to go.” -JB “It’s like shitting in my hand and clapping.” -Q “Let’s do that GOAT.” -C “Does Q know you’re into bestiality?” -Chris • the subject: Jeopardy! The Greatest of All Time “In 2020 I’d like to set more things on fire.” -Megan “Tonight, William Shakespeare, Henry VIII, the sun god Ra, Archimedes, Rip Taylor, and Rudolph Valentino on the Loooooooove TARDIS.” -Greg as Ernie Anderson (hat tips to Mike & Chico). “Christmas Day: Email notifying me I don't need to come to the courthouse on Monday. Monday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse on Tuesday. Tuesday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse on Wednesday. Wednesday: Phone message notifying me not to come to the courthouse, period, because my week of service includes two holidays. For anyone who's never been called in for jury duty during a pandemic, I highly recommend the experience.” -Adam “This version of 2020 has a virus in it. Can I get it reinstalled?” -Catherine “Take care of y’all chicken.” -Marshawn Lynch“ No link, because (EXPLETIVE DELETED) that (EXPLETIVE DELETED).” -Joe “There’s the Wendy’s.” -C “Where where where where where?” -Q “There there there there there.” -C “The Houston Astros scandal has spilled into the world of game shows...evidence has surfaced that “Jeopardy!” contestants had wired buzzers at their podiums.” -Adam Nedeff “ "Having an English Accent in America is like having a 12" dick” -David, a contestant on Too Hot To Handle. “We are all Disney... and Disney is all of us.” -Kevin “Here comes this Donny Osmond-looking motherfucker.” -C “The coronavirus is the least dirty thing I’ve had in my hand. There’s not enough hand sanitizer in the world. That’s why I drink vodka.” -Michael "That bird just straight up moonwalked and died!" -Neumann “You think Jimmy Kimmel would buy the Walgreens brand?” -Q “I don’t make Jimmy Kimmel money!” -C “President Trump sent me a letter. I respond with fire.” -Kyle “Sense AND Sensibility? In this economy?!” -Liz “He committed the ultimate sin. He insulted the WWE in his promotion!” -Cyndi “Today was draggin’. It was very draggy. It was an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. It was so draggin’ that Wink Martindale encourages me to avoid it. I was watching Dragon Ball Z in the cockpit of the Dragonzord while playing Double Dragon with Don “The Dragon” Wilson and listening to Sisqo’s Unleash The Dragon. Somebody better call Emilia Clarke, because, uh.... dragon .... joke.” -C “Name a people that animals breed.” -Bressler “Put your Facebook balls away, Karen. It’s unbecoming.” -Cindy “Pizza is yes.” -Drago, Animal Crossing New Horizons “Prahstitute.” -Klauss • the password was “hookah” “It was a one-eyed one-horned flying purple Power Ranger.” -Gordon “I'm gonna start painting people yellow and send their asses to Springfield because I'm seeing a LOT of Simps, SON!” -Katie “Bill Belichick took the box on the display floor and got a couple of plush dolphins...would’ve had a new car behind curtain #2.” -Carl “Twenty-one seasons of winners and not one of those faces looked like mine. So when I walked through those doors, I had that desire, that determination to be that very first face to give hope to those behind me who have the desire to come in here and play this game. Not seeing a face that looks like mine is very discouraging, it’s hurtful and it does make me feel like maybe it’s impossible. But I’m wrong about that because it’s definitively possible. We can do it. It just hasn’t been done yet… I want to acknowledge every African American who has walked through those doors with the same desire to be that face that I have. I see you, I salute you and I appreciate you. You came in here, you knew the odds were against you, you knew it was going to be an uphill battle and you still fought and you fought like hell. For that, I love you, I admire you and I acknowledge you all today.” -Da’vonne, Big Brother “Waldo should find himself. I don’t have that kind of time.” -@FunnyOrDie “What we wanted was Cam Newton. What we got was Wayne Newton.” -Gordon, right before everyone broke out into “Danke Schön” “You can go ahead and put "Nuh-uh! Don't eat Jesus, you monster!" on the list of things I didn't think I'd have to yell today.” -Wingo “Not only is he a chicken magnate, he’s also a chick... magnet. Amirite?” -Klauss“ Please excuse me if I don't participate in the Dolly Parton Challenge, but I'd rather my wife didn't know that I have a Tinder account.” -Prof. O “The table has had enough of your shit.” -Brian “If you work hard enough I’m sure someday you’ll reach the top of the intelligence bell curve.” -Jess’ insult “Any squirrel can find a nut once. Let’s see you do it again.” -Q “This is the kind of chaotic horniness I’m here for.” -Megan “Behold the power of the fat guy touchdown.” -Cyndi “It’s the kind of peppermint candy that can give me natural 20s.” -Jenni “The wonders.... of weed.” -Mary “Metallic testicles.” -Jimmy Kimmel “Well, it's 65° again today. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday so I chose to walk 4 today. If next year it is not 65° on this day in February, I'm quitting Ohio.” -Wingo “I see the Incelabteilung spent a productive weekend.” -Rick Wilson “You know why the RTF head writer is now hosting? Because he's now eligible to join the Actors Guild, which means he'll have potential work when 1. RTF goes down in flames, 2. The WGA agreement goes down in flames. 3.A combination of 1. 2. and RTF keeps trying to convince us that King Kong should be worth 1,250 points per ticket.” -Gordon “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” -Jessica “Of course any team could have had 14 players test positive for COVID three games into the season, but the fact that it’s an entire roster of Florida Man is just so obvious.” -Arianna “Anna Roisman is very much in love with her butt.” -C Phleb: Are you following me? Q: As if you’re cool enough to have a stalker. As IF you’re cool enough for that stalker to be me. “I’ve seen enough.” -JD “Okay Dave Wasserman.” -C -subject: NLCS “Curse your sudden but inevitable colonization!” -Blue from episode 2 of the Overly Sarcastic Podcast “I haven't watched the Super Bowl halftime show, but from the online conversation today it is clear that people do not know just how many layers of costumage it takes to look "naked" onstage. #Showbiz” -Shannon “Adolf Titler and Areola Braun.” -Kim “I don't follow sports at all, but "And then Florida screwed it up for everyone" is the least surprising thing I could have seen in the news.” -Adam “If you think 2020 has been wild so far, wait until the dragons are released in the finale!” -Bruce Q: “I need a lighter.” Clerk: “Which one?” Q: “I don’t care. As long as it produces fire.” “Today we say a not fond farewell to Adobe Flash....we will NOT miss you very much." -Carl “It’s ridicarus. It’s so ridiculous, it flies in the face of normality until it melts on the wings of its own ridiculousness.” -C “I’d like to be proven wrong 99 times out of 100,000.” -Cyndi “The wenches of Watson.” -G’s nickname for the Chasers “Paula Deen. I don’t give a toss about the woman’s politics. But there’s one thing that we both agree on. MORE BUTTER!” -Q “Do you think you could be my Korean food mule?” -Jenni, to Chico re: Korean restaurants “This is what I told you about Travis. You’ve got to stop eating buffalo wings before you go to bed this is going to keep happening!” -Brian “The NFL Draft Takes way too long. If I wanted to watch 32 picks in 3 hours, I’d watch Jameis Winston play.” -TyFo “I think I’d win this easily.” -Greg, on “Too Hot To Handle.” “Hit me daddy, I’ve been bad.” -Q “I haven’t been bad, but hit me anyway.” -C “I hope a million Dodger babies are made tonight and their mamas name them all MOOKIE.” -Arianna “That’s tackier than a Louis Vuitton purse from downtown LA.” -Kimberly “Defense wins championships, but offense sells soap.” -Nikki “It’s like there’s nothing good on Netflix anymore.” -Alex Alvarez (Marcel Ruiz) on the Pop premiere of One Day at a Time “Let’s see what this bitch can do.” -C

“Man we have now been quarantined for 60 full days. Stuck inside with nothing but our families and our devices, filled with fear and anxiety. And we still don’t want to watch Quibi.” - Mike Shields (@digitalshields) “I love Peanut Butter. I love Africa.” - Bill Walton "So in the last 3 days Tom Brady has violated social distancing guidelines and broken into somebody's house. The media laughs it off. It pays to be white." - Barry McCockiner “BREAKING: I have decided to follow @James_Holzhauer on Twitter, since he’s been following me on Jeopardy all week.” - Ken Jennings “I was debating who had a worse night in Vegas — Mike Bloomberg or Deontay Wilder. I thought it was Wilder but it wasn’t. He didn’t have to show up a week later and get his ass kicked all over again. #DemDebate2020” - Jelani Cobb “What in the name of God’s ass is on Linda Dano’s head?” - Quisla “My 13 year-old self with my hero in Nov '83, Boston, MA. According to local legend Mr. (Tom) Baker toured the sites at Lexington, and then Concord, site of the “shot heard round the world;" he strode up to the first American he saw and said “Sorry about all that you know!”” - @petervintonjr “At long last, our 4-year national nightmare is over & @SteveKornacki can finally get some sleep.” - Mark Hamill “I think I just saw The Greatest American Hero be a complete and utter perv.” - Chico “Not gonna lie. I kinda wished they'd filmed the Chicago production of Hamilton so I could see Wayne Brady kill Lin-Manuel instead of Leslie.” - @RealLordDalek “Thanks Jon, when we come back Denise is gonna go for $30,000 and I want to find out, really, if you take half of my ass and you put it on my bald head, if it’s going to create new hair. We’ll find out about that after this. ……. more after this.” - Mike Francesa’s evil Earth 47 Half Brother Louie Francesa played by Klaussie before the MG-HSH Super Match “Rebooting The Santa Clause where instead of Tim Allen killing Santa Claus and becoming Santa Claus, Santa Claus kills Tim Allen and becomes Tim Allen” - Bridger Winegar “Ted Cruz is in another Twitter war with Mark Cuban. As a coach I was always looking for mismatches. If I could ever find a mismatch as great as Cuban over Cruz the game would be easy.” - Stan Van Gundy “Just turned on the XFL.Kicker missed a field goal and they immediately interviewed him on the sideline asking what happened haha. That’s tough.” - JJ Watt “Jeffrey Toobin gave a whole new meaning to the word “laptop.” - Gerard Mulligan “No matter how gloom things things get, there's always the future, even the United States of America used to have a future. They tried to us Americans the sky’s the limit, so we destroyed the sky. Where’s your limit now? Oh! burning with toxic poison? Suck that limit!” - Xavier: Renegade Angel “Everything good espn ever did was copied from the George Michael Sports Machine.” - @[email protected] “How is the @WWE not calling this #Wrestlemania36 In Your House?!?!” - Marty DeRosa “When people complain about "cancel culture," they very often mean: I want to live in a world in which there are abundant social and economic rewards for saying and doing certain (but not all!) controversial things, and no social and economic penalties for those same things.” - David Frum “Herb Abrams left this world doing what he loved. Cocaine and hookers." - Brian Blair “Rats.. and I was looking forward to the empty arena NBA Team Challenge Series.” - Lollie “Wow breaking: Jay Glazer is reporting that cleatus the FOX NFL robot has been arressted for double murder outside a Houston strip club. Details to come” - PFTCommenter “Michael Moore is the Michael Avenatti of Anthony Scaramuccis.” - @blackbeltbirder “Will you accept this ass?” -Jason “The Bears are two tight ends away from a firefighter calendar.” -Cyndi “Come on, Quis. Plating is 5 points.” -C “They say you should spend three months income on your wife’s engagement ring. I spent June July and August from the summer that I turned 13… But in my defense it was a wet summer and I mowed a lotta grass, that should count for something.” -Brian (ladies....) “You can’t fuck with Ed Lover.” -Greg “You thought that it was bad now? Wait 25 years. Today's children are tomorrow's leaders; and they will have been have been homeschooled by day drinkers. Let that sink in.” -Q “Doo wah didn’t didn’t, dumb didn’t do.” -Ian “So we were talking about why cereal was invented.” -C “Y’all stop showing me The Needle. I have a visceral reaction to The Needle.” -Anne “Five dollars on a Daily Double? What are you doing, buying a sandwich?” -Q “Sometimes I wonder... what made you think that style of facial hair works for you?” -Mary Jane “Everyone’s a critic.” -C after someone closed the blood bank door after blowing his nose “You raise your kids, you will spoil your grandchildren. You spoil your kids, you will raise your grandchildren.” -Nikki “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” -Joe’s son “Ctrl-F, am I right?” -Klauss “Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm...” -Kim “I’ve been around enough mothers to know what THAT means.” -C “This is now the 5th straight night I've heard one man complain about another man's holes and balls. No one needs sloppy disorganized holes or balls. #pause.” -Gordon “You know... We grew up watching Kamen Rider & Super Sentai wanting to be masked heroes. Pretty sure this isn’t what I had in mind.” -D “Some of y’all have not been chased around the house by your sibling with a knife and it shows.” -Jenna “At least it wasn't real maple syrup. Based on the bottle and consistency it appears to be maple-flavoured sugar liquid spread.” -Dane, on Gritty drinking breakfast syrup “And who decides Lacey Chabert should be the voice of love? She was hardly the voice of Meg Griffin!” -C “That is one UGLY ASS FISH!” -Cat "CBD infused deep dish pizza now available at White Sox games." -Carl “Gordon Pepper You're a psychotic Macaulay Culkin? I fear and respect you.” -Dom “Now I don’t even have to leave my home to not watch a movie.” -Kevin, on HBOMax “Fuck your widgets.” -Klauss “I told Galileo to stop working on his telescope. He’s not fooling anyone!” -Greg as Time Traveling Rip Taylor “Chris Wallace failed so badly that Mike Wallace also failed, and he’s been dead eight years.” -Kevin “Yay for fat shaming.” -Amberlee “Philip Rivers: Miami Dolphin?” -Carl “I don’t have enough black leggings for this shit.” -Shannon “You ever have shrunken beef?” -G “Phrasing.” -Aaron “You put the brain in Vibranium.” -Matt Richards “Several flaws in his argument, most notably that while he is correct that the meat in boneless chicken wings doesn’t come from the wings, neither does it come from the “tender”. And chicken nuggets aren’t made from a chicken’s... um... nuggets. That said, it is Nebraska, and this is what happens in that God forsaken state when they cancel football.” -Kevin “I never got spanked. We were very good kids growing up. Dad threatened us a different way. He reminded us as he was a famous person if we screwed up we would see it on page 6 of the ny post.” -G “God’s perfect idiot.” -Ryan Reynolds “You can’t clean house with a filthy mop.” -Kevin "Four." -Course Manager Joe translating Sir Goph to the crowd at Holey Moley. “May (Tim Tebow’s) marriage last longer than Million Dollar Mile.” -C “They were so offended, they weren’t.” -G “Meanwhile I can't choose a fuck fish...” -Kimberly “I have questions.” -Bressler “Do not insult the good name of Bowzer, damn it!” -Greg “Hiya Barbie! No Ken. He’s sold separately and I’m cutting unnecessary spending.” -Eden as Barbie “I’ll be at the bench if you need me. Please don’t need me.” -C as David Tennant as Scrooge McDuck “Fayetteville gonna Fayetteville.” -Jordan “Why you gotta go make good employees angry? You think another decent phleb is just gonna pop out of nowhere like a State Farm agent? ... 🎵 Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! 🎵 POOF!” -C “I like my men like I like my commuter car: silent.” -Robin “The fact that I had to put "Real Email -- Not Wingo SPAM" in an email subject line tells you a lot about how I comport myself with my colleagues.” -Wingo “Savage Question Song! Y’all fucking FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU GOT IT WRONG! YOU ARE DUMB! No, I’m kidding, you’re not dumb. You fucked up, it happens. That’s life.” -Matt Richards “You know, bucatini. It’s like spaghetti... with goals.” -C “Love like you’re Jesus Christ. Wash your hands like you’re Pontius Pilate.” -Brian “Show me on the tackling dummy where the illegal touching happened.” -Nikki “Get cable. Discover Disney Junior. Muppet Babies. Weird. So weird. #NotMyMuppetBabies.” -Paul “Take the swabs. Leave the cannoli.” -C “Facetyfacetyfacetyfaaaaaaaace!” -Nikki “If you win, you may smoke it. WHEN you lose, you must eat it. I don’t make the rules.” -Erskine “The internet discovers that Wendy Williams is a terrible person once a week.” -Adam “¡Carajo! Errbahurr!” -me, upon looking at a full parking lot “In these increasingly uncertain times, I want to be absolutely clear on something. I never *don't* want pizza. It is never a bad or inappropriate time for pizza. I will never, in any way, be displeased by receiving pizza. And, at no time in my life, will I ever say "no, that's fine, personally I don't want any pizza." I hope I have made myself clear.” -Brian “That’s a terrifying prospect. Goddamnit, I’m in.” -Kimberly “My dream from December 2020 involved a previous neighbor and his two-mouthed dog. Not two-headed, but two mouthed. Imagine a Doberman crossed with a Big Mac.” -Evil Travis “Sounds like SOMEONE is jealous of the awesome sex her witch friends are having, just saying. #StellaImmanuelOnlyDoesMissionary” -Shannon “Why does Ken Jennings get applause for his use of a buzzer during championship rounds but the Astros are vilified? That’s Double Jeopardy in more ways than one!” -Jess “That's Roman's new move...the Bowel Movement" -JB After Roman tips Corbin over in the potty during Royal Rumble “Smoke my weed.” -Kyle “Tomorrow on Personal Injury Court: "You destroyed my vagina!" Me: "Continue."” -Klauss “Vernon Valley/Action Park on line one.” -Gordon’s one-line review of “Cannonball” “There’s no substitute for good old fashioned know-how.” -Prof. O “So a coworker says she’s pro-gun, pro-God, pro-LEO, pro-Trump, pro-life and that all lives matter. I say to her, quoting Colin Firth, ‘I’m a Catholic whore who is currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.’ See? I can flex for rubes on social media, too.” -C “Boy. Smoke really let himself go.” -Caleb “SUPER MATCH on tonight’s MGHSH: ______ LOVER $1000: Red Hot $500: Lousy $250: Latin.... I’ve been called all these things. At the same time.” -C “BREAKING: Massachusetts Lottery names Tom Brady its spokesman for its new lotto game -- Pick 6.” -Doug “If music be the food of love, then umami is the food of food!” -Heather “We already have artificial intelligence in the announcers booth… His name is Joe Buck.” -Brian “I don’t have the time or the crayons to show you how you did that wrong.” -Q “Okay so about Herve Villechaize’s dick.” -Klauss “Sharon after two Proseccos is the funniest motherfucker alive.” -Matt Richards “There’s tired, and then there’s Disney tired. He’s worn out!” -Terrie “Who the fuck is Mickey Rooney?” -Greg’s older brother when he was 8 “Remember, exercise causes endorphins. Endorphins make you happy....” -Michael “And happy people don’t kill their husbands.” -everyone “Peace, love, dope! Now get the hell out of my house!” -Evil Travis “My sister is being disgusted!” -Shannon’s sister “I already have my picks to replace Condfederacy monuments/statues and other members of the slave trade/colonialism. 1. Spock 2, Any Pokemon 3. Columbo (Specifically for Christopher Columbus) 4. The lead singer of GWAR 5. Dolly Parton” -Dane “Having said that, KEEP STAYING INSIDE. Let’s put this in easy terms: did you ever have a teacher say “If you’re good the entire week, we’ll watch a movie in class on Friday”? And when you made it to Thursday, everybody kind of had an eye on the dipshit in the class who was probably going to screw it up for everybody? Okay, right now, as far as COVID goes, it’s Thursday. Keep an eye on Adam. Or...I mean, whatever the kid’s name was in your class.” -Adam “I'm at the level of drunk where everything is HILARIOUS and I'm very pleased with myself... now I’m having a second drink and wearing this VERY NECESSARY hat.” -Arianna “May your 2020 be like ABC’s, shaky at first, but getting stronger.” -BB “A bunch of Goofuses and nary a Gallant.” -Ian “Hard and Stormy - the next pornhub film from Michael Avenatti.” -JB after Chico tried mistakenly to say “Dark and stormy” “With a name like Joe Exotic, expect more fingers than teeth.” -Chico re: Tiger King “I’d rather offend someone by showing up, by trying to understand and trying to care, than offend someone by not showing up, by refusing to understand and for appearing indifferent.” -Christina “If you feel the need to throw shade from behind an anonymous Twitter account... Don’t. Say it to my face or don’t say it at all. Don’t waste my time. It’s 2020. We’re not on here wasting people’s time. Stop it.” -Anne “His shake brings nobody to the yard.” -Jess re: HQreeper “Did Bill Cullen do Blockheads?” -Q “OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!” -C "I do normally have energy, but I did just win the Space Jam, so..." -Neumann “So watching the NFL Playoff game and my first thought is that I wonder how the Houston Astros were able to show the Texans how to steal all of the KC Chiefs' signals from their playbook.” -Gordon “Does anybody here have a dollar?” -C “No but I have a chicken!” -Q “You know what borders on insanity? Canada and Mexico.” -Chelsea’s friend Cathie “A 1 followed by 100 zeroes is known as a Googol. A 1 followed by 1,000 zeroes is known as the number of e-mails you will receive from 1-800-FLOWERS in the week leading up to Valentine's Day if you've ever bought even one bouquet in your life.” -Adam “I think I hate everything and everybody, so I’m going to get drunk on beer that’s been brewed in an old sheep carcass and then I’m going to stick my tiny penis in a dead dog I found in a ditch to make hate-babies or something because I am actually more stupid than mud.” -Alucard, impersonating Trevor Belmont, Castlevania “10/10 for entertainment and entry level gaming abilities. Gratuitous gore and endless ammunition. You will literally cry from laughing. Especially if you're as good at being bad at it as I am.” -Becca “I’m trying to eat better. After work today I’m going to have myself a nice salad. That’s right a nice Caprese salad with tomatoes and mozzarella cheese, and croutons… Well OK one crouton… One very large round crouton. Pizza. I’m going to order a pizza.” -Brian “Coming to theaters in January 2021: 2Jeopardy 2 GOAT.” -Evil Travis “You overthought it!” -Michael “You know me, Michael. Overthinking is kinda my thing.” -C “I had a baby.... in my king cake.” -Kathryn “hear me out: a cross between a heating pad AND a weighted blanket. *become* the hot pocket.” -Chelsea “Guessing both Foxes (New Fox & Disney) are catching onto the reality that Seth (MacFarlane) only has one idea, which he keeps trotting out in different disguises.” -Kevin “How’s your Wednesday?” -Wingo “Oh you know, places to go, people to see, lives to save, asses to cover. You know, a Wednesday!” -C “That’s why I don’t hold grudges, because I can’t remember shit.” -Joey “Brainvision has been brought to you by the Fire Me Please Sporting Division Showdown! Who will win? The Cleveland Browns? The Houston Astros? The NJ Devils? The NY KNicks? It will be fun to find out! That's the Fire Me Please Sporting Division SHowdown!” -Gordon "I have sent a dick pic. I didnt mean to do it. Mom, I'm sorry.” -contestant on The Circle “You can make excuses or you can make game moves. Pick one!” -C “He who hesitates is sacked.” -Nikki on Tua “Merry Crimbo!... I mean, Merry Chrysler!... I mean...” -Statboy “Welcome to this edition of “Faith in Humanity”, brought to yo by Bleagh. 🤮” -Gordon “Ass trumps feet, count it.” -VRM “On the Season Finale of St. Patswhere, Chief Surgeon Brady suddenly realizes that time has caught up to him and can't accurately perform like he as done in years past. Director of Medicine Belichick talks to his staff and is irate that instead of researching Vrabel-Tannehillitis, they brought him documents on Bunglaria. He punishes them by making them work on back cases and organizing them by bacteria count. In the operating room, time is not on the side of the staff as the patient is also suffering from Henry Syndrome where he rushed for 182 yards and a touchdown. To further accentuate the problems, Belichick finds out that Vrabel-Tennehillitis eats up the time left in the patient, despite his efforts to make time stand still. With time running out, Brady tries to push through his decline and makes a dangerous surgical operation. Sadly, the operation would turn to be fatal for the patient as Brady slips and cuts through vital organs and the scalpal is intercepted by the heart. The patient dies on the table and leaving both Brady and Belichick wondering if they still have what it takes in this new era of medicine. Will our dynamic duo return? find out next season...on St. Patswhere.” -Cyndi “That looks nothing like Tom Villard.” -Mike, anytime someone mentions Chris “Captain America” Evans as “America’s ass” “Okay, no no no no stop halt quit it cease desist. I will sign off on an Anglicized live-action remake of Ranma 1/2 before I approve of this.” -me reacting to a Fresh Prince reboot “Welcome to the Absolutely Fucking Crazy Championship game! With your analysts Tom Brady and Lamar Jackson. Tom: “Hey Lamar, how come we’re not playing in this game?” Lamar: “Cause we suck, man!” • Carl “Politicians are temporary. Wu-Tang is forever.” -@PressedNC “Coffee is not meaningless. Coffee is everything.” -LiyaZee “in the grand scheme of things, aren't we ALL between a sex store and a crematorium?” -Chelsea “You can cancel the show. You can not. Cancel. The culture.” -Chico “Go be bitter elsewhere.” -Hannah “Happy holidays ... and you’re welcome.” -Wayne Brady.... after telling us he’s not wearing underwear. === May our collective 2021 not suck as much as this year did. Seriously, I tried to burn my calendar and it wouldn’t burn. Anyway, here’s to 2021... Come together, just think of tomorrow.

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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FEATURE: Why Tite Kubo Giving Characters Personal Songs is So Important

It probably goes without saying, but music is magical. For many people, important moments and times of their lives are pinned to certain soundtracks. You've likely seen those memes about your taste in music in high-school, your first playlist, your usual driving music, what songs you listen to the most, what your Spotify playlist says about you, and so on. Put simply, music is a huge part of the human experience, and we tie our identities to the music that punctuates our lives and the moments that surround it. And when it comes to our love of anime, we’ve all probably made our own playlists of songs that remind us of characters and series, interspersed with opening and ending themes. But what about when the author of a series does it themselves? Well, that happens to be the case with Tite Kubo, and it’s worth thinking about whether this is why Bleach’s huge, diverse cast is so memorable.

Like many long-running series, Bleach is long; the anime ended after 300+ episodes, and the manga ran for 74 volumes. The issue with a lot of long series is that eventually, characters start to get sidelined or forgotten, and we start to lose sight of exactly who they were or why they were important; a character we might have loved at first suddenly becomes barely recognizable. Throughout Bleach’s run, though, I never found myself having that issue. Kubo’s visual designs help, as he’s always masterfully created unique and interesting designs that all stand apart from one another, but I started to realize that it was a bit more than that. Bleach’s character roster didn’t just feel like characters in a story, they felt like people, and a large part of that was the way Kubo rounded them out so completely that he attached specific, real-world songs to each of his designs. (If you’re curious about the list, we wrote about it here). These songs add an extra layer to each character that few other creators come close to and help to not only make Bleach’s characters visually memorable, but also helps to create fuller profiles in our minds of who this character is or was and what makes them tick.

But does it really matter that much, you might ask? Well, at least in my humble opinion, the answer is yes. Because this goes beyond simply designing a character by color and shape, it leans into viewing them as a complicated collection of personality traits. A pretty specific and interesting aspect of this is that these songs never changed, which leads to questions like, “Did he really have Kenpachi’s character arc designed the whole time?” or "How far in advance was most of the major storyline developed?" But more importantly, it made me want to listen to all of these songs from disparate groups of musicians and genres. Personally, music has always been a big part of my personality and I’ve loved listening to and exploring music throughout my life. So, when I first encountered Kubo’s character design notes and saw the songs, you better believe I burnt a CD right then and there to listen to in my car. But what I also realized is that looking back at Bleach, all of the side characters — especially Ichigo’s classmates from Karakura town — stayed memorable. Whereas in series like One Piece and Naruto where I can struggle to remember one-shot or forgotten characters, I still know exactly what Tatsuki's and Don Kanonji’s deals are in Bleach. They’re people, just not the ones the series focuses on, and in large part, these songs play a big part in that memory.

Perhaps the biggest aspect of this design choice, though, is how well these songs fit the characters. In some cases, it takes a few listens to recognize what exactly Kubo’s intentions were. Some of that may be conjecture or interpretation on our end, but it really starts to make a character’s personality and “idea” click in our heads when we get it. The songs aren’t totally about the lyrics, either. It’s important to think about the music, melody, and theme and consider the ways in which all of these things play in to being the “theme song” of a character. The songs also help turn seemingly one-note characters into more well-rounded ones; for all of the villains that vanished after a single battle, thinking about their song choice makes them suddenly much more interesting and fulfilling, and lets us think about the various, complex ways Kubo went about designing a character that was only meant to accomplish a single thing and then disappear forever. Further, playing these songs during re-reads of the manga makes certain scenes just that much more impactful and powerful; playing a theme song during a character’s big moment or fight really heightens the tension in a way that I can’t get from other series, even those where I’ve built my own playlist. Knowing that Kubo selected these songs gives them purpose and makes the impact that much bigger.

On a different level, though, these theme songs also forced me to engage in something that wasn’t entirely related to the anime or manga — the music and songs themselves. I don’t think it would be a mistake to say that following Kubo’s list of songs forced me out of my own musical comfort zones and made me learn to appreciate and even become a fan of various musicians and styles of music that I’d never really listened to before. And for me, I think that speaks to something even more important in terms of what Kubo’s done: Bleach isn’t just a self-contained thing, but a piece of art and culture that exists and is influenced by other pieces of art and culture. We can trace Kubo’s thought processes and ideas to the things he listened to, saw, and engaged with as he was working on the series — and this music is an aspect of that. Let’s be fair, a lot of these songs are fairly dated today, but they encapsulate certain pieces of the history of Bleach and the early '00s that round out the full picture in such a beautiful and unusual way. I don’t think one needs to become a fan of every song or artist on Kubo’s list, but I do think this is something so unique and special that I wish every creator would engage with it, just once.

Of course, we’ll never know the full intentions behind every song unless Kubo ever wants to explain them to us, but I think one of the most troubling aspects of appreciating characters and design decisions for fans is authorial intent; we can never know the true answer. These songs, however, give us something that few other creators have ever attempted, and really makes Kubo’s ability as a character designer and author stand out in the crowd in a way that was easy to overlook before. Considering how deep the ocean of music really is, it’s fascinating to think about all of the songs that he must have listened to or thought about before selecting each of these specific, singular titles for characters. In the end, Bleach will always remain an amazing series to me, and the characters still stand out to me while others have started to fade. Part of me wonders if it’s because of that playlist I made where I first heard the band Hellacopters and made Chad one of my favorite characters ever once everything just “clicked” in a way that I doubt it would have otherwise. Perhaps it's unreasonable to expect every creator to follow in Kubo’s footsteps here, but sometimes, just sometimes, don’t you wish you knew what your favorite character’s theme song was?

Who’s your favorite Bleach character, and what do you think of their song? Let us know what you think in the comments!

Nicole is a frequent wordsmith for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

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gascon-en-exil · 7 years ago

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The interminable generation war of the Pokémon fandom is not something I’m inclined to wade into, not least because I am one of those strange individuals who play the games in part for their stories and worldbuilding. As reliably underwhelming as those attributes of any given game in this franchise may be, it’s nonetheless evident that Gamefreak puts some effort into elements of the franchise that aren’t competitive tournaments or Battle <name of building>s or gimmicky mini games. Sometimes.

As such, in the spirit of my modest contributions to the FE and Zelda fandoms on this blog and as further proof that I am capable of judging aspects of video games aside from the desirability and inferred sexual prowess (or lack thereof) of their men, here follows my current opinions on each of the regions of the main series...so nothing about Orre or those Ranger spin-offs or whatever. And yes - regions rather than generations, so the remakes will be grouped with their originals.

So. Very. Blaaaand. As with Archanea from Fire Emblem and the NES Zelda games I can respect the historical significance of the Kanto games; hell, unlike FE and Zelda I was actually following the series back when RBY were in their prime...and yet they are so unremarkable. Kanto feels utterly devoid of distinctive personality despite appearing in all of the first four generations, and even today there’s really nothing I can say about it beyond the relatively realistic villain team and the emphasis on modernization in contrast to Johto. Supposedly, anyway...it’s more like Kanto cares less about historical preservation which I suppose is probably the closest these games comes to commenting upon the real world inspiration for the region. Combine this with a contentious roster of Pokémon - some are great and still hold up today, some are meh, and almost all of them get disproportionate amounts of exposure and new toys in later generations, for better or worse - and an infamously loud fanbase wearing some very thick nostalgia goggles and you’ve got a setting I have no interest in revisiting. I absolutely wouldn’t put another round of remakes past GF, though

(But having the protagonist and his rival hook up in their later years was a nice twist.)

Not much more developed than its predecessor, but the Johto games benefit immensely from throwing in Kanto as a bonus (sort of) postgame region, both for the aforementioned contrast and for the additional content. Sure, the level curve is kind of screwy, the Pokémon could be better (Johto has my least favorite starter line-up, for instance), and Kanto feels half-formed in Gen II, but it’s not bad for what it is. I like that these games are set three years after the first ones, in that it conveys a sense of the passage of time - something that would only get more vague as the series progressed. I’m not much interested in the nods to Japanese culture and folklore strewn throughout Johto, but at least the region is identifiably Japanese. Also, the implementation of elements like a day/night cycle and days of the week appeal to me, even if in practice they’re more annoying than anything else. And I know the entire internet agrees with me, but HGSS did substantially more for Johto and Kanto than FRLG did for Kanto. That’s kind of sad, honestly.

While I’m bringing up remakes, I would however like to disagree with most of the internet and say that ORAS were good remakes - good enough to where I could actually finish Alpha Sapphire when the original left me so unimpressed that I actually stopped playing the series outside remakes until Gen VI. The beloved Battle Frontier (which doesn’t seem all that interesting? Someone explain the appeal of this thing to me) may be missing and you can’t re-challenge gym leaders and various other things you can only do in Emerald, but on the flip side the story development is much improved and better paced - yay for convenient cutscene warping - and the Delta Episode provides a decent postgame capstone. What’s more, Hoenn is absolutely beautiful in the remakes, looking as lush and tropical as it ought to and no longer bogged down with water routes that are a slog to traverse or much backtracking. Soaring is a wonderful addition as well that shows off the region and cuts down on HM usage, and the DexNav is excellent for reducing the tedium of catching them all (or some approximation thereof when stupid things like event legendaries and untradeable-on-GTS version exclusives still exist).

I haven’t even mentioned the villain teams. I know full well that Tumblr is ahead of me on this one, but they are so gay. I picked up the gayer version with Matt outright professing his love for men (somewhat ruined when you consider that he’s talking to a ten-year-old...ick), but via extensive research *ahem* I’ve learned that Omega Ruby has its moments too and that Teams Magma and Aqua are best enjoyed as a pair. Their goals may be patently stupid, but they all learn something at the end of the day and can go home and have an orgy together. I haven’t even mentioned the Steven/Wallace subtext one of my mutuals cued me into, which is sweet revenge indeed for Emerald fanboys whining for years about femme Wallace with his predictable team becoming champion in that game. It’s enough altogether for me to forgive the game for constantly teasing Brendan/May - because obligatory heterosexual romance doesn’t have to wait for a little thing like puberty.

The only region for which I can’t really give a full assessment. I started a playthrough of Platinum on emulator, but the game felt so slow and clunky that after the second gym (which I’ve read is an especially dull and pace-breaking stretch) I couldn’t bring myself to play any more. I’ve watched speedruns and video reviews of this game, and they’ve only confirmed my initial opinion and caused me to hope that most of Sinnoh’s copious issues will be addressed in the inevitable remakes. The over-reliance on HM slaves (poor Bidoof...), unintuitive region layout, periods of severe environmental slowdown in the form of marshlands and deep snow, and other factors do not appeal to me at all, and while I know Platinum fixed this particular problem I assume that the Diamond and Peal remakes will not have to contend with a limited roster as they did. The characters could do with some work as well: Barry seriously needs to calm down, I still don’t know how to feel about Fantina (will she be Kalosian? What about in the Japanese and French versions where she’s apparently from an English-speaking country?), and Cyrus really doesn’t work as the charismatic leader he’s built up to be. Say what you will about the Hoenn villain teams or Team Flare having idiotic goals, but at least I can say what those are. I still got nothing on Team Galactic caring about Prof. Rowan’s evolution research or stealing energy or what have you. Sinnoh is severely in need of a second - or third, I suppose - draft.

Confirming that Volkner and Flint are a couple would also be nice. Just throwing out ideas.

When I downloaded White and Black 2 for emulator I didn’t expect to be very impressed by these games. Unova is the MURICA FUCK YEAH region, as we all know, and I shouldn’t have to point out to my regular followers that that fact alone would be enough to unfavorably prejudice me against the place. And yet, in spite of that, it works for me. A big part of that is that Louisiana is absent from this loose celebration of the US as interpreted by Japan; there’s an oil baron dressed like a cowboy, a Californian or Hawaiian surfer bro, a gay (or straight hipster, hard to tell these days) artist with a loft gym in Castro the Village Castelia City, a Southern mammy for some casual racism that was actually too casual for international release, counterparts to Coney Island, Broadway, Hollywood, and American sports, and numerous Pokémon like the Trubbish and Vanillite* lines inspired by the shallow consumerism that passes for culture in the US, but nothing representing my own stubbornly French state. I’m actually warier about the bizarre attempts to insert bits of medieval and early modern Europe into the region via PETA-by-way-of-the-Knights-Templar (what) Team Plasma and the trio quartet of legendaries based on les Trois Mousquetaires. Did whoever came up with those not get the memo about where the series was going next?

With that said, although I’m not as enamored with N as some people his characterization was if nothing else a step up from anything that had come before. While Ghetsis and Plasma make no damn sense aesthetically until the sequels they are intimidating villains who raise serious questions about how humans treat Pokémon...that are naturally never considered in their full complexity because friendship or something. As I stated with Johto I do like the sequel model of region development since we get to see how Unova has changed over two years. I also appreciate the season mechanic that only appears in these games for lending some variety to the geography, though in execution it’s kind of a pain.

*But hey, I’m thankful at least that this is I think the only region that lets you catch (decent) Ice types before lategame. I will absolutely take the ice cream with a face.

Perfect, or rather just imperfect enough to perfectly capture the essence of France and its culture in this silly world of fantasy cockfighting. Unashamedly biased I may be, but as Kalos gets a lot of hate online I feel the need to push back against popular opinion a bit. X and Y were in my opinion the first games where GF really went all in on characterizing a region, because everything from the preoccupation with aesthetics (Character customization! Dog Furfrou grooming! Petting and pampering your Pokémon! Meticulously kept jardins à la française! Serious philosophical discussions on the fleeting nature of beauty! Team Flare...ok, never mind, they’re kind of dumb) to the discerning restaurant culture to the general ambivalence toward glorious and gloriously wasteful institutions like monarchy and their lavish châteaux feels so familiar to me. And how could I forget the Fairy type, a type tailor-made to vex the sort of posturing bro gamer sorts who somehow maintain their bro-ness while openly playing Pokémon. Could any region but Kalos have delivered that so beautifully? Well, now that I think about it, are the Japanese aware that the French are characterized as feminine in the English-speaking world? Regardless, I could go on, but this post is long enough as it is.

As I said before, Kalos isn’t entirely without flaw. Team Flare might be a hair less ridiculous than Team Galactic, but that isn’t saying much. The troupe of rivals, such as they are, aren’t much better, and others like Sycamore and most of the gym leaders are woefully underutilized. The Kalos Pokédex is overstuffed, and while I enjoy its subdivision into three regions that not-so-coincidentally recreate the Tricolore it is nevertheless a pain for those who like to fill up the Dex as they go along in a game. The developers were still clearly learning how to deal with the camera in a 3D space as is evident in certain areas like Lumiose, and certain features like the roller skates are awkward to use. Not the Exp Share, though - call me a lazy casual, but that thing makes team-building so much easier and actually incentivizes doing so rather than just relying on one overleveled Pokémon with good coverage to solo everything. Oh, and we never got a Pokémon Z, or more importantly an extension of the map that would include southern France. Poké-Gascogne, please, Game Freak.

Really, it’s hard for me to criticize X and Y because I quickly come back to everything I love about the place. I’m actually replaying X right now, inspired as I was by this project and lacking anything else to play before USUM comes out next month. Speaking of which...

I may not have any personal attachment to Hawaii, but I have to give GF serious props for taking the best gameplay and worldbuilding elements of Kalos and replicating them on an even greater scale. Alola is a vibrant and extensively-realized setting for a game, and I’m not even taking into account that we’ll be getting an AU version of it or something like that in the upcoming games. Sun and Moon fascinate on their own with their deep characterizations that touch on such surprisingly dark topics as child abuse (in a variety of forms) and the failure of community and, er, social programs, or whatever you’d call the Island Trial and the whole sending-ten-year-olds-out-to-enslave-wild-animals thing this universe has going on.

There aren’t really any duds in the cast, either: Kukui is drool-worthy, Guzma and the rest of Team Skull are thoroughly silly and also thoroughly sad, most of the kahunas and trial captains are entertaining in their own ways (special props go to Nanu, Kiawe and his hiker boyfriend, and Acerola the fallen aristocrat who’s entirely too perky about it), Lusamine is a demented mother figure so of course I find her compelling, and Hau...taught me what a malasada is? It’s basically a Portuguese beignet, from the sound of things. Lillie is the real star however, and I don’t understand why some fans criticize the games for making the story more about her than about the player character. One of the biggest drawbacks of silent protagonists, and especially silent protagonists that never emote, is that it’s difficult for them to be a part of character-driven storylines, and in a first for the series unless you count N in BW Sun and Moon are exactly that kind of story. Lillie gets a voice and a distinct place in the world and in the lives of the other major players in the narrative, and she has a development arc that follows along with but stands independent from the standard one followed by this protagonist and all others in this series. Meanwhile, the player character...is from Kanto, and is Kukui’s cousin, and Kukui is probably fucking their mother. That’s pretty much it.

I’m a little less enamored with the Ultra Beast plotline as it’s a little too sci-fi for me, and Aether’s presence and purpose in Alola feels unexplored, but there’s still a chance that USUM may woo me on either score. I’m fairly indifferent on the Mega Evolution vs. Z-Moves argument, and I can take or leave Alolan forms - except Ninetales *pets* - but SM made one substantial gameplay improvement I absolutely adore and will hate to see be removed from future games: ride Pokémon. No more HM slaves, yay! Compound that with surfing between islands and some new areas and they’ve sold me on the next games. If the story is as radically different as trailers seem to be promising I can only hope that it’ll be just as engaging as the first time around.

So, if I had to provide a tl;dr by dint of a simplified ranking, it’d probably go as such:

Kalos > Alola > Hoenn = Unova > Johto > Kanto = Sinnoh

I’d expect Sinnoh to get bumped up a few notches in remake form, but otherwise that’s about right.

#Pokémon #Pokémon regions #All of them #Partially a joke post #At least I had fun with it

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defensefilms · 5 years ago

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The Toronto Raptors Were Not Lucky

June 16th

The crying, complaining and moaning has gone completely haywire at this point and I for one am loving every single second of it.

Now my heart does weep that it's not the Philadelphia 76ers hoisting the Larry O'Brien trophy and Joel Embiid being presented with a finals MVP trophy by Bill Russell. That would have been ecstasy. Joy. Bliss. I am however in a state of contentment. Not so much with the Sixers as the decision to bring back Brett Brown has me concerned and so does Ben Simmons recent off-court escapades and Kardashian fraternization. I am content though that basketball is exciting again.

This brings me to the Raptors. The Raptors did not have an easy route to the NBA finals. This was not LeBron James just bulldozing through the East and toying with everyone in his way. This was the most competitive Eastern Conference in over a decade. I wrote about how competitive the Eastern Conference was. It was utterly fascinating. Bro, the Eastern Conference and subsequent playoff games account for more than 90% of the content of this Blog Site. The existence of this Tumblr blog (now 60 blog posts deep) is proof of how competitive this year's eastern conference was. Read the blog if you need proof, I basically had game-by-game coverage. I feel the extent to which I've written about this is proof of how competitive and most of all, interesting the East was this year.

The Raptors going through a very tough 7 games against the Philadelphia 76ers and then having to overcome the 1st seed Milwaukee Bucks (along with my pick for MVP in Giannis) was as difficult a route to the finals as a team could have this year. Certainly far more difficult than what the Golden State Warriors had in the western conference.

Now to all the Golden State Warriors fans, stuck in the mire of finals loss misery that quite frankly every other fan base had when they were winning their titles. You guys got lumped, dumped, out toughed and out done. Were you unfortunate to have Kevin Durant, Boogie Cousins and Klay Thompson get injured in key stretches of the post season? Sure. However, poor roster construction has a lot to do with that too. Why are key players having to push themselves so hard physically? Boogie Cousins injury was completely avoidable, that hustle play didn't matter that much but hey, gotta hustle on that because the guy on the bench shouldn't be playing anywhere near 20+ minutes in the playoffs. Kevon Looney is a big man on the level of Clint Capela at best and I'm being generous because Clint Capela is respected by the Rockets players.

The Warriors fan base is also forgetting how big of a role injuries have played in some of their championship wins. In the 2014-15 playoffs the Warriors played an injured Cavaliers squad in the finals. There was the injury to Kawhi Leonard in 2017 against the Spurs, there was the injury to Chris Paul in 2018, hell, even the Trailblazers team they played in this year's western conference finals didn't have Jusuf Nurkic and Enes Kanter, basically played with one arm throughout the post season.

Golden State fans need to take their L and gracefully accept that the dynasty is over. By the time Klay Thompson and Kevin Durant are cleared to come back and aid the now volume-shooting Steph Curry in 2020 everyone on the team will be a little bit older and that's outside of the problem of fitting all five all stars under the salary cap. The sheer stupidity and possibility that you might overpay for Draymond Green. The dynasty is over, other teams in both conferences are taking steps forward. The Dallas Mavericks appear to be in position to do something special and can likely fit another all star player under the cap in free agency. The Lakers have acquired Anthony Davis after almost a year of pursuing his signing (more on that later).

Then there's the issue of Durant and the why the hell would he come back to a team that neglected then risked his health in the way they did in game 5. The big issue with that, was that no one in the Golden State Warriors organization prioritzed what was good for Kevin. The doctors didn't warn him that he might damage his Achilles. Head of basketball operations Bob Myers didn't take a long term view and consider that Durant's health is priority because "we're trying to re-sign the guy". Steve Kerr didn't impose a minutes restriction because he wanted to milk Durant for all he was worth before his achillies gave out. The Warriors players, Draymond Green in particular, created an atmosphere where Kevin Durant was not respected and they questioned how bad his injury was, playing a key role in pressuring Kevin Durant to get on the court despite his health. Warriors fans are only too happy to overlook thier own team's follies in the events that have transpired and why they only have three titles instead of four.

Warriors fans. You failed. Your team failed. Do you understand what a historical scale of beat down you've suffered by losing three homes games in an NBA finals? You weren't narrowly edged out. They took your biggest strength way from you. They turned Draymond into a liability. They exposed Steph's defense (what's new?). They ripped a hole through your front court and absolutely exploited your lack of size. Most of all, they had put more thought in to how their roster was built. This wasn't just about the Warriors getting slapped up on the court. This was Raptors General Manager Masai Ujiri's vision being more well thought out and more well executed than Warriors GM Bob Myers vision was.

Myers' vision for Golden State was a video game team with five all star players dominating. The fantasies of a man-child allowed to build a roster on 2k. Masai Ujiri's vision was grounded in years worth of developing Fred Vanvleet and Pascal Siakam. He stuck by Kyle Lowry even when the entire city wanted him traded. Most importantly, he gambled. He gambled big on Kawhi Leonard and that made all the difference. The Raptors got rid of their head coach, brought in some sturdy veterans and traded Demar Derozan for Kawhi Leonard.

Warriors fans are upset that their invincible team was in fact very flawed. They deserve their misery. Long may it last.

#nba #nba2019 #toronto raptors #golden state warriors #masai ujiri #bob myers #kd35 #kawhi #stephen curry #klay thompson #nbafinals #nba offseason

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puckish-saint · 7 years ago

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hiya~ just passing by and thinking about reaper76 (no reader insert) and their pretended marriage au 😏 whatcha' thinking 'bout that love? p.s. just wanted to tell you that your writing always bring smile on my face, the way you have with words captivated me from your first posts and i don't think i will ever forget your style (just really love your humour the jokes in it work every time) (although i find your blog only when you started writing overwatch fics i wish i found you sooner)

(my jokes work, thank god. You have no idea how long I’ve been chewing on that one, waiting for someone to tell me if my attempts at humour land. This really made my day Also Fake Marriage, yes pleas.Because just, hnnngh. Gabe more or less reluctantly teaming up with Overwatch after it turns out he’s been set up/lots of misunderstandings/shenanigans. But he and Jack have been drifting apart for so long and even though both technically know they’ve been played out against each other, knowing it and acting accordingly are two very different things. They fight, they argue, they can’t stand being in the same room and it’s worse because both remember they used to be inseparable.So, shit happens and they have to pretend to love each other. They have to dig deep under all the baggage to find that affection they used to hold for each other, and what’s scary is that it’s easy.The first morning Gabriel shovels six spoon fulls of sugar into his coffee cup, hesitates, then just upends the whole damn sugar bowl into his coffee, Jack doesn’t have a problem hugging him from behind and kissing him good morning.And when Jack loses horribly at some video game because he’s too busy admiring the scenery (”look at those trees, Gabe, they’re all handcrafted. Every one of them. Look at the trees.” “Will you please look at the giant venomous spider instead?”) Gabriel laughs like he hasn’t in ages.

I will go down with that trope tbh, and because I have no restraint, I wrote just under 2k words which may or may not be the beginning of a multichapter fic I’ll be putting on AO3.

Gibraltar base in low energy mode creeps out everyone. The lights are low, turning longhallways into twilight suffused tunnels with no end in sight, entireportions of the base void of life and activity. Only the dormitoriesand kitchens still have full power, a warm haven surrounded bymonsters in the dead of night. Everyone deals with the creepiness intheir own way. Lena drives her accelerator to its limits, skipping inand out the darkness as fast as she can. Mei asks a friend toaccompany her, whereas Hanzo plain refuses to go.

Lúcio talks.

“I’m here one time and theymake me go to the damn locker rooms to get some trivial shit nobodycares about,” he mutters under his breath, chasing away theoppressive silence. “First time in months we see each other and Ibrought them all souvenirs, but they’re all like, oh Lu-lu can youdo us a huge favour and get this random shit from our demon cellar,and if you get eaten do we get your skates?”

He turns a corner and comes face toface with a demon. Black holes where the eyes should be, a being ofpure darkness melds from the shadows to take his soul. Lúcio’scomplaints stick in his throat, hiding just like he wants to be. Theshadow seems to stare right through him. Then it moves.

“Gabe! Puta merda, you scaredthe crap out of me.”

Gabriel chuckles deeply and the grimreaper hunting for his innocent soul becomes the latest addition totheir ragtag bunch of misfits. They fall in step together, Lúciomuch more at ease now that he has someone tall and strong to protecthim from Overwatch’s version of a haunted house.

“Wimp,” he says good-natured.“We’re needed in the conference room. Something came up.”

“What, now?”

“No, the next Saint Patrick’s day.”

In the beginning Gabriel’s sarcasmput him off, but by now Lúcio has learned to appreciate it. Theyspend more time together than most anyone on base, seeing as hismusic is what’s slowly but surely healing Gabriel of his specialproblem.

“Your skin hurt again?” he asks,gesturing to the mask he wears again. Lately he can go mostly gowithout, but every now and then the degeneration flares up again andforces him to protect himself. Gabriel shrugs.

“It’s nothing compared to what itused to be like.” he says.

“Still. I can write you something tohelp, okay?”Gabriel argues only a little and by the time theyenter the conference room he has convinced him. Half the team hasgathered, including Fareeha through video conference from Cairo.

“... spotted them twice coming in,but they have an alternate route for leaving. I’m on it right now.”

“Good work, Amari.” Winston turnsto face the team. “We have eyes on Vishkar’s top suppliers. Idon’t need to tell you this op could make or break our effortsagainst them. Yes, Lúcio, you’ll be on the team to take them in.”

Lúcio has barely opened his mouth andnow grins, leaning back as they watch the low-res pictures Fareehamanaged to take of the couple they’ve been after for months.Vishkar’s increasingly unsavoury activities rely almost completelyon these two people, elusive as they are efficient, supplying Vishkarwith everything from stolen technology to weapons. Whatever thecorporation needs, they can get it. And now Overwatch knows wherethey are.

“We need to send in a strike-team,”Jack says once they’ve gone over the bullet points. “And quick. Idon’t suppose we can get Miss Song on such short notice, but withmyself, Lena and Fareeha we can move quickly enough to evade a drawnout fight. Lúcio should stay back until we’re well into it. Ifthey spot him before-”“Hey,” Gabriel barks. “Who died andmade you boss?”

“I don’t see you contributinganything of value.” Jack shoots back with just as much venom.

“You wouldn’t let anyone get a wordin edgewise, golden boy.”“You act like I’ve beenmonologuing for hours, it figures you have to make up something to beupset about-”“You don’t even hear yourself speak, doyou?”“Guys? Stop fighting.”

Both Jack and Gabriel fall silent underLena’s soft but firm rebuke. They won’t look at each other, sitwith crossed arms through the rest of the briefing. Two teams will goin, one lead by Fareeha closing in on their targets, the other leadby Reinhardt blocking off their escape. Winston reminds them to atleast try and bring them in alive for interrogation.

A few hours later the team sets out.

A few hours after that, a furious duetof Amaris relays the mission to Winston.They’re speaking over eachother, curse the sky green and look one wrong word away from becomingphysically violent.

“-completely disregarded theplan-”“-charged in there like madmen, fighting each other,like they didn’t even see all those damn turrets-”“-Reinhardtkept shouting at them to listen but they were too busy with theirpissing contest-”“-had to double back and bail them out, TeamB got pinned down by drones-”“-targets almost got away, if ithadn’t been for my daughter, we’d be back to zero-”

“-can’t work with those two, theycompromised the mission, the team, themselves-”“-likechildren in a playground, no professionalism-”“Alright,alright!” Winston interrupts holding up his hands to protecthimself from the Amari wrath. He doesn’t want to know what Jack andGabriel had to hear before they called. “I’ll talk to them. Inthe meantime, what about our targets?”

The targets are secure and brought tothe base and surprisingly accommodating. They have no loyalty forVishkar and eagerly share everything they know in return for a deal.Jack and Gabriel are taken off the mission roster for the time being,although both had to be persuaded to stay at all, ready to walk outafter this latest fiasco that proved to them trying to work togetherafter everything that happened is a moot exercise.

“We used to joke they could read eachother’s minds,” Reinhardt says while they wait for Winston andAna to finish up with the intel they gathered from their targets.“You have never seen closer friends.”

Lúcio looks up from his tablet to giveReinhardt a look of pure doubt.

“Hard to imagine, I know” Jessesays, smoking despite everyone’s subtle and not so subtle-nods tothe no-smoking rule. “But it’s true. Took the UN almost twodecades to push them apart, and that’s sayin’ somethin’...”

Lena makes to answer but is interruptedby the arrival of Winston, followed by Ana and, surprisingly, Jackand Gabriel.

“Thought we were benched.” Jackvoices everyone’s thoughts.

“Something came up,” Ana repliescurtly and loads their info up on the main screen. “We got ourtargets just in time. They were ready to retire and Vishkar promisedthem new identities and a safe home.”

“If Vishkar made them disappear, we’dnever have found them,” Lúcio says and then whistles when Anabrings up a picture. “That what I think it is?”

“Jannat, Vishkar’s top-secret gatedcommunity. It’s their magnum opus, located an hour’s drive fromUtopaea. The families of their top executives and scientists all livethere. It’s also where they keep all their records.”

“So what?” Jesse says. “We’regonna wire them and let them go?”

“Better,” Ana shows a grin that’sall teeth and even though she hasn’t so much as glanced at Jack andGabriel, they both swallow, knowing whatever she has planned, they’llbe the butt of the joke. “Our targets were extremely careful. Noteven Vishkar knows who they are. They have a vague description of twomales in their fifties or sixties, one of which is black or latino,which puts us in the prime position of being able to send two of ouragents in their stead.”“Fuck that.” Gabriel says, wellaware of who’s going to end up playing the part. Jack at leasttries to be a bit more subtle about it.

“Reyes and I aren’t exactlynobodies. They’ll recognise us.”

“They’ll recognise your faces, butit won’t matter. We can fool their DNA sensors.”

“Still, they might getsuspicious.”“It’s a risk we’re going to have to take.This is our only chance to get into Jannat and we don’t have thetime to hold castings.”

Jack knows when he lost a fight, butGabriel keeps arguing. He damn near flips the tables when Winstonwon’t be persuaded to use someone else, gets into a shouting matchwith Ana that lasts for hours. Mission prep lasts a little under aday and when it’s done and their identities forged, they have todrag him kicking and screaming onto the plane, less metaphoricallythan anyone would prefer.

“He’ll get us killed,” Gabrielspits while Lúcio walks him through the last few points. “He didit before.”

Jack tenses but says nothing, sittingat the opposite end of the aircraft and pretending to read the news.

“It’s going to go fine,” Lúciosays cheerfully. “Mister Jack’s got you. Now listen, because asfar as we know there’s a sort of quarantine and we won’t be ableto talk for at least a month. I’ve built you a miniature version ofmy sonic tech and packed every song I ever wrote on that. Nothingwill go wrong with our treatment plan, but if it does something onthere will help you, okay?”“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Gabrielswats at him, cheeks hot with embarrassment at being mothered bysomeone half a foot shorter and almost three decades younger thanhim.

And then it’s just them and Lena inthe cockpit, flying them to their destination. In less than an hourthey’ll be Sam and Steve Carter, married for thirty two years,criminals for slightly longer. They’ll have to kiss and hug and saystupid corny shit and for all that Gabriel wants to forcefully ejecthimself from the plane, he knows they can’t blow this one. The endof Vishkar for good lies just within their reach. If he fucks this upbecause he couldn’t play nice he’ll never be able to look Lúcioin the eye again. The kid was the only one who accepted him with openarms after the whole mess with Mercy and the UN was over. When evenReinhardt and Ana kept their distance, it was Lúcio who sat with himfor breakfast, who included him, who went up to him in all his 5’3’’glory and asked to spar because even Jesse wouldn’t. He can’tfuck this up.

They step into the sweltering Indianheat arm in arm and gritting their teeth.

#overwatch imagines #reaper76 #reaper #soldier 76 #no reader #i call this The Intro #also i love the idea of reaper and lucio together #platonically or romantically #dark and brooding versus neverending sunshine is my jam #rustedrobonerd

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pinstripeperspectives · 7 years ago

Text

Confusion at 2nd and 3rd Bases

I frequent a couple of the Yankees Fan groups on Facebook and there seems to be a bit of confusion about these two positions. I keep saying that we should get Manny Machado for 3rd base and then people respond with stuff like “No.” or “Don’t need him.” or “We should stick to the plan.” My question is ... What plan and who is playing in these two positions in this plan? But actually, I’ve been responding to these comments with ... “Why? (Just asking.)” I’m not trying to be confrontational, just want to see what people are thinking. The most common response I get is “We have Gleyber Torres and he can play SS, 2nd and 3rd!” and I ask “At the same time?!” LOL! I understand that we all have opinions about players and someone may simply not like a player. I get it, but I like when people have a reason for arguing.

What people aren’t understanding is that the Yankees have turned up the gas. Last year was a building year. That’s what we set out to do and we finished waaaaay better than the Yankee brass ever expected. That’s awesome! But, I think it was also discouraging to them to come so close, so they’ve decided that this year, they are going to do something about it. It’s NOT a regular off season. Joe Girardi was let go after 10 years. A new manager was just recently put into place. Yesterday, coaching staff began getting contracted. Giancarlo Stanton, the player that everyone thought was out of reach because of his mega contract, is now donning the pinstripes! We’re stepping up to the Mother F’n plate! So, what does that mean? I bet it means that there is NO WAY the Yankees are going to begin the 2018 with temporary players in these two positions. They will want a solid option that is considered THE starter in each of these positions. Torreyes would be GREAT, but the Yankees want him as a utility player. Wade could be great, if he gets his .300+ minor league bat back, but, he is also a utility player. If someone were injured right before the season starts, like Didi was last year, that’s one thing - but I doubt they would want to start the season that way. Last year we didn’t see the opening day lineup until August, and it happened only once the entire season! Seriously, look it up.

The next thing people say is “Well we have Andujar and Headley to play 3rd.” No, we don’t. The Yankees have been saying for quite some time now that Andujar may not be quite ready yet defensively. Although a very small sample size I saw him play this past August in Scranton and he wasn’t good on either side of the plate. Maybe just a bad day, but it sounds like consistency is what they are most concerned about. Well, then, Headley. No, the Yankees are actively shopping him to use as a trade chip. “Todd Frazier!” Umm...he was a rental and is no longer with the team. The Yankees could re-sign him if they want to, but I don’t think they do or they would have done it already ... because he wanted to stay. My feeling is that they are looking for an upgrade in the hot corner.

So, I think that we should find a 3rd baseman, but a stellar one. Manny Machado may be available. Baltimore is listening to offers but hasn’t decided if they will even deal him yet, let alone to a division rival. If we get Machado some are concerned that it’ll only be for a year until his contract runs out and he becomes a free agent. Why would I throw away prospects for a one year rental? That’s a good point! First, players that are not protected on the 40 man roster are subject (depending on what level they are) to the Rule 5 draft, which means ... other teams can just take them. So it would be better to trade some away for something good, someone with value, than to just let them be taken. I think that it’s cheapest to get Machado now, instead of waiting until he’s a free agent. Here’s why - with the addition of Stanton we have upped our chances of not only making it to the world series, but possibly winning it. With Machado on board, the odds become even more in our favor. At the end of Machado’s year with us - which may include a world series ring - why would he want to leave possibly the best team in major league baseball, which has a chance of doing it again? We’ll have leverage by having a winning ball club, one that is destined to become legendary AND we may have Miguel Andujar ready to take his place by then. As a matter of fact, Manny can help us get closer to the world series and we can decide by July 31st if Andujar is ready to take over. We can trade him to regain prospects! So, there are ways of making this work.

Other options are Evan Longoria and Josh Donaldson. Personally, I don’t like Josh Donaldson. He is one of the instigators of the 2016 brawl between the Jays and the Yanks. Haven’t liked him since. Good player though. Longoria, I think would fit personality wise and we’d be stealing a rival team’s leader, so there could be some strategy involved there, but I don’t think he’s the same caliber as the 25 year old Manny Machado - which also means he doesn’t fit into the age plan the Yankees have.

2nd base - I don’t think the Yankees will want to wait until spring training to “figure out” if Torres will be back from his Tommy John surgery and ready for action. He’s very highly touted and I have a feeling he will be ready, but there’s no guarantee. I’m betting that he’s playing winter ball given that he needs to rehab and be ready, so they’ll be watching him. I would suspect that the Yankees will find a stop gap 2nd baseman that they will call their starter, but will have Torres compete for the job - he’ll win it and we’ll trade the stop gap away again. I think the last thing they will do is use Torreyes or Wade as a starting player. They like them where they are.

Check out my blog about the 2018 - 25 Man Roster. I’ve got a list of who I think will be on the 25 man roster on opening day (or who I hope will be) and it also has a list at the bottom of those we can trade to keep our costs down and under the luxury tax!

GO YANKEES!!

#yankees #newyorkyankees #nyyankees #milnarik #goyankees

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feheroessubmissions · 7 years ago

Text

Example Submission: Arvis

This submission was put together by an alt of this blog's creator to serve as an example of what's expected of you if you are to submit a Hero. Today, I'll be analyzing how one of my favorite characters, Arvis from FE4 (Genealogy of the Holy War) might be like if he were to be implemented into Heroes. Enjoy!

Arvis: Fala's Blood (Red Tome Infantry)

Description: The current Duke of Velthomer and a descendant of the Crusader Fala, the Mage Fighter. He is willing to go to any lengths necessary to reverse the corruption in Grannvale and restore peace to Jugdral as a whole. Appears in Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War.

Statistics at Level 1 & 5 Stars

HP: 17

Atk: 9 (w/o weapon)

Spd: 8

Def: 5

Res: 6

Statistics at Level 40 & 5 Stars

HP: 38

Atk: 34 (w/o weapon)

Spd: 33

Def: 19

Res: 24

Total: 148

Skills Available at 5 Star Rarity

Weapon Skills

Fire: 4 Mt, 2 Rng

Elfire: 6 Mt, 2 Rng

Bolganone: 9 Mt, 2 Rng

Valflame: 14 Mt, 2 Rng; Grants the user the Rising Flame Special skill (5-turn cooldown; before combat this unit initiates, foes in an area near target take damage equal to unit's Atk - foe's Def/Res). This unique incarnation of the Rising Flame skill doesn't occupy the Special slot and remains unaffected by cooldown-decreasing skills such as Quickened and Infantry Pulse. Additionally, equipping Valflame in turn prevents other AOE Specials (i.e. Rising, Blazing and Growing Specials) from being equipped.

Special Skills

Continue (5-turn cooldown): Enables the user to perform a second consecutive hit upon the foe at halved damage.

Adept (5-turn cooldown): Enables the user to perform a second consecutive hit upon the foe at full damage. (Upgraded version of Continue)

Passive Skills

Nihil (B Slot): If unit's HP 100% (for 1st tier) at start of combat, prevents foe's damage-increasing Special skill from activating. (Special cooldown still decreases as a result of combat) Nihil 2 and 3 reduce the HP threshold to greater than or equal to 90% and 80%, respectively.

Fortify Mages (C Slot): Grants adjacent tome allies Def/Res +6 through their next actions at the start of each turn.

Explanation

Arvis initially appears to be a typically-built glass cannon red mage, with superlative Atk and Spd, average HP and low Def and even Res. However, he comes with a few distinguishing factors in the form of skills to keep him unique. For one, his exclusive weapon, the Valflame tome, enables him to deal more damage with the aid of an additional Special in Rising Flame (the other 2 Anima magic Holy Weapons, Mjolnir and Forseti, would come with Rising Thunder and Rising Wind, respectively, IMO). As this Special activates before battle, it won't interfere with the activation of battle-based Specials (such as damage-increasing, damage-decreasing and so on and so forth), and the fact that equipping Valflame in turn prevents AOE Specials from being equipped in the Special slot ensures that one won't activate in conjunction with the other. Continue and Adept are entirely new Specials that increase damage in a different manner than other damage-increasing Specials - instead of giving a flat bonus to base damage dealt as a result of the degree of a certain factor (such as Atk, Def/Res, damage accumulated by the user, etc.), it enables the equipped unit to attack a second consecutive time, effectively either increasing the damage to 1.5x or 2x for Continue and Adept, respectively. Due to the sheer power of this effect, the skill in turn has a very high cooldown of 5 turns of combat, although this CAN be decreased by, say, Killer weaponry and the Pulse skills, in a similar manner to other 5-cooldown Specials such as Galeforce and Miracle. It must also be noted that since the second hit produced by these skills is counted as a consecutive one in the same manner as those produced by Brave weaponry and the Desperation skill, it WILL have its damage reduced by 80% as a result of Brave!Ike's Urvan, so keep that in mind. Nihil, on the other hand, is probably the most unique skill in Arvis' roster, as it completely prevents damage-increasing Specials from activating on him as long as he fulfills the HP requirement. The fact that the enemy's Special trigger cooldown still decreases as a result of combat, despite not being able to activate said Special, is an attempt to balance the skill. Though it admittedly isn't too useful on Arvis himself due to his fragile nature, a bulkier unit could theoretically make very good use of it. Fortify Mages is his C slot skill, and may only be inherited onto Tome units, due to its effect of increasing Def and Res by +6 being exclusive to Tome-wielding units (of any movement type and color). This skill has great consequences for bladetome mages, of whom can abuse it to great effect to increase their damage output significantly. The skill, however, has no effect on units that deal magic damage but fail to use tomes, such as dragons and staff wielders.

Quotes

Summoning (from GHB): "Hello. I am Arvis, the currently presiding Duke of Velthomer. If you wish to involve me in the circus of politics, look elsewhere, though I am willing to aid you with whatever else you may require."

Friend Greetings: "Hello, [Name of Player]. I bring with me a parcel from [Name]. May your relationship remain mutually beneficial."

Castle

"This castle of yours is quite... elegant, to put it lightly. Be sure to maintain it properly, however."

"Thank you very much for aiding me in my cause. As well as the rest of the Heroes here in their walks of life, of course."

"This tome I wield is my prized inheritance from the Fire God, Fala. Together with me, it shall be the ideal instrument in achieving my ideals."

"That Sigurd simply has no inkling of what he's in - Oh, yes? Have you a need of anything?"

"Mother... where are you? Oh, how I wish to see you again..."

Character Page

3 *: "Hmph."

3 *: "What do you wish for? I may ready myself to achieve it for you, if need be."

3 *: "Huh - Augh! Please, do not sneak up on me like that again! I may be goaded into incinerating you."

3 *: "I admit to having... few close friends whilst growing up. My duties as Duke came first, of course."

4 *: "My younger brother, Azelle, appears to distance himself from me, no matter what I do. Am I too hard on him? I dearly hope not."

4 *: "I firmly believe that none should suffer or force others to suffer as a result of their lineage. Why do I say that, you ask? Please, don't - you'll regret hearing the full story."

5 *: "So much beauty lies in my world, and yet miscreants and undesirables wish to disturb such wonders. As Emperor, I shall make that not the case. I will restore Jugdral's honor!"

5 *: "Archbishop Manfroy ranks among my closest allies in my quest. With his aid and support, I hope to protect those like myself from suffering as I have."

Leveling Up

(+1, +2 Points): "Insufficient. At this rate, I shall never achieve what I must."

(+3, +4 Points): "This power serves not just I, but all of Jugdral."

(+5, +6 Points): "Scatter before me, my foes, for the fire within will ensure a swift end!"

Learning Skills: "How shall granting me extensions to my power help you in particular? Nevertheless, thank you."

Turn Action

"Deliver me to the enemy!"

"What is needed of me?"

"My magic awaits your command."

Special Skill

"For the greater good!"

"Guide my way, divine flame!"

"Dare to test me?"

"Writhe in the inferno!"

Defeat: "Mother..."

Level 40 & 5 Star Dialogue

"I assume you are aware of what makes me... stand out by this point, correct?

Of course, I speak of my Fala Holy Blood, the divine marker of my lineage's ties with the Fire God.

It allows me to wield the Tome of Valflame, my favored weapon. But yet, another type of blood flows through my veins... one of which shall condemn me to death if the masses were to hear of it...

That is why I originally partnered with Archbishop Manfroy - because he swore to keep my secret in hiding, and to aid me in my goal to protect those under the same curse as I.

But why do I reveal this to you, you may ask? Because I have realized under your tutelage that you are irreplaceable in my efforts to free Jugdral from oppression. To withhold such information from you would be... disrespectful. And dangerous.

But enough of that. I'd like to thank you in earnest for supporting my cause, and for staying with me all this time. Really and truly."

Thanks for reading, everyone!

#fe4 spoiler #submission

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andrewmawby · 7 years ago

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Get Ready For School with a Farmhouse Style Homework Station + Command Center

Hi! This is Kristin from Postbox Designs, E-Design and I’m back for another month with a custom made Mood Board JUST for you Remodelaholic readers. Every month I tackle a space in your home and share some pro tips on how to design that space on a budget. Not only am I an interior designer though, I’m also a mama to three kids! So like many of you, the start of the new school year is on my mind! (In fact as I write this post my MIL is taking them back-to-school shoe shopping) My baby goes to kindergarten this year so now I have three kiddos that are all school aged. Which means every one of them brings home papers to be signed, info on sports signups, and daily backpacks full of treasures. So how the heck do you keep life organized and manage to walk into your home without tripping over lunchboxes and backpacks?

A Command Center is going to be your new BFF.

But not only am I going to show you how to pull together a simple Command Center, but we’re going to take it one step further and show you how to create a Homework Center as well (feel free to change it up into a Craft Table if you have little ones, or a Home Office if you don’t have kids).

I know a lot of you love the Fixer Upper Farmhouse Style so for today’s Mood Board I created a Homework Center/Home Office that also features a Command Center and plenty of extra storage! Just click on the item's number below and happy shopping:

Farmhouse Homework Station Products

Contains affiliate links. Read our full disclosure policy here.

1: Desk 2: Sconce 3: Plant 4: Desk Organizer 5: Cart 6: Hooks 7: Letter Print 8: Chair 9: Light 10: Wall Organizer 11: Paper Tray 12: Pencil Cup 13: Rug 14: Storage Console

I loved this simple white Target desk and farmhouse style chair as a neutral combo. If you share an office or have multiple kids, grab two of these (they are easy on the wallet) and put them both in your space. For ultimate organization I grabbed matching rustic wood containers- a desk organizer corrals school supplies OR electronics (we throw all of our cell phones in here at our Charging Station at home) and this rustic wood inbox (read on to hear me get on my soapbox about how adding an inbox changed my life!).

Having a place for everything is key to keep a space organized. Use this rolling storage cart to either keep extra supplies OR assign a drawer to each family member to keep important items. I also added this white storage unit with baskets. Baskets allow you to keep the not-so-pretty items close by, and also frees up desk space. Put this near your desk and keep your printer or other gear on the top.

In a Home Office or Homework Station, good lighting is key! Update your boring lighting with this metal farmhouse style light. And welcome to my newest obsession: plug-in sconces. Adding sconces to your space gives it a custom look, but no electrician needed-simply plug in and enjoy! They come in a pair, so hang it over your desk area with a piece or art or bulletin board in between.

Within this Homework Station space, I also wanted to include a Command Center. You can add this anywhere in your home (a mudroom or kitchen is a great spot), but having one in your Homework Station will help kiddos know exactly where all of their precious gear goes. I would add a wall hook for each child to hang their backpack on it. Then hang a custom initial print (an Etsy print you can purchase for just a few dollars) over each hook, so no more fighting over whose backpack goes where. Adding wall mounted mailboxes in your Command Center gives every family member a box to put permission slips, birthday invites, or homework.

And finally, adding a couple of pretty elements makes this a space you want to hang out in! Add a faux succulent, a vintage style pencil cup, and this farmhouse style indigo and ivory rug (plus it’s an outdoor rug-always a great choice in a kid centric space: just wipe up those after school snack spills!)

But I bet you want to see even MORE real life Homework Centers, don't you? You're in luck because I have an entire Pinterest board just for kid's areas, where you can find oodles of dreamy spaces. For the first real Kid's Homework Station, I'm going to show you a sneak peek into my very own house! I created my triple kid's homework desk on a super tight budget out of our never-used hallway and now we have a homework station, craft center (and to be totally honest, this is also where I fold laundry!)

Postbox Designs

I love this cheery homework or craft desk featuring a kid's art gallery in the space:

Emily A. Clark

Convert an old dining room table to a double desk with these great ideas from Blesser House. Her homework station is part of her newly remodeled playroom area:

Blesser House

And if you are tight on space, you will love this vintage desk re-do. And I love how she takes advantage of her vertical wall space in a small area:

Lily Pad Cottage

And today I'm going to include a bonus for you guys! Two more FREE Homework Station Mood Boards that I recently just designed for a real Postbox Designs client. Just last month I had a client come to me who had this exact problem. She has three school-aged children and wanted a space to do triple duty:

Home Office for the grown-ups

A Shared Homework Center for three kids

Command Center/Place to store backpacks and papers

In her case, she had a room right off the front foyer that was rarely used, and we used that room to convert into their new Homework/Office Space. In your home it could be an spare bedroom, a never used formal Dining Room, or a corner of your child’s bedroom. If you are tight on space, you might need to get creative and carve out space in an extra wide hallway, part of a walk-in closet, a corner of your kitchen, or double up a desk as a sofa table behind your couch-the possibilities are endless! To see all of the details over this Room Makeover, check it out HERE:

In my client’s case she requested a neutral, rustic space that was budget-friendly, so a lot of these finds are from Target with some products from places like Wayfair, Etsy, and RugsUSA thrown in. And how do you fit in all of these different elements into one small space? How you set-up your room is just as important as the items you put in it! So I also included a Floor Plan layout so my client would know exactly where to put everything:

I always create two versions for my clients that can be mixed and matched, but both versions had the same elements:

1. A desk for the grown-ups with a Computer

2. A long shared desk for the kids: In real life three kids are NEVER going to sit peacefully side-by-side and do their homework quietly! So I gave them an extra-long inexpensive desk from Ikea with two chairs, knowing two kids would be the max working at the same time. But the key is to have a basket, bin, or container for EACH individual child. That way they can keep their specific supplies, on-going homework, etc. in an organized space, even when they aren’t using the desk.

3. A low bookshelf with tons of storage in it. I love to use baskets so you can’t see all of the clutter. You can store craft supplies, school supplies, or give a bin to each child. Then use the space on top to store things like a home printer.

4. An inbox/outbox. In my house we use this D-A-I-L-Y. My kids drop off any papers that need to be signed or need my attention. After I address it, I put anything that needs to go back to school in the outbox. No more digging through backpacks for lost permission slips or piles of papers on my kitchen counter. It is a miracle worker. The best 12″ in my whole house!

5. A spot for each backpack. All you need is a single hook and your kiddos know where to put their bags. Feel free to make it special with their monogram above it, some framed artwork, etc. In Version #2’s Mood Board below I found mini bulletin boards to go above each child’s hook: they can tack up artwork, birthday invites, etc.

6. Wall Mailboxes. This is my other Must-Have in my own home’s Command Center. In my family each person has a mailbox, plus we have another one for bills. When mail comes in, we sort it right away into each person’s mailbox. We also have a recycling bin right under it so junk mail gets tossed ASAP. You will be amazed how this keeps life organized. Now I know exactly where to go for my son’s sports schedule or my daughter’s class roster-it lives in their mailbox. You could also use these for homework or school assignments. I’m a fan of wall-mounted ones like in these Mood Boards to save precious desk space.

7. Simple accessories. I’m a designer and a girl so I love pretty things. However, sometimes you can get too frilly and fill up an office or homework center with things you don’t actually need. Would you never use that cute chalkboard? Then don’t waste the space with one. Instead look for items that will actually make your life stay more organized. But in these Mood Boards for my client I did add some items like a rug (it can really make your space pop and help pull everything together) and some fun artwork. I like to look for the Instant Downloads on Etsy, and print them off myself for art that costs just a few dollars. My clients also requested new lighting. She had the builder basic light fixture so a new, inexpensive light made the space look more upscale in an instant.

In the second Version I created for my client, I still designed a neutral, rustic Homework Station + Command Center for her, but gave a second set of brand new options! To read about the whole Room Makeover, check it out HERE:

There is nothing like the brand new start of a school year! So I hope this year you are inspired to create a new Homework Station or Command Center to keep life organized like the rock star you are! You can find even more Command Center Mood Boards on my Blog or find my freebie Desk + Chair Mood Board (along with oodles of other design freebies) at my Free Resource Library!

Thanks again to the entire Remodelaholic team for letting me hang out with you all today and I'll see you next month with a brand new Mood Board!

Kristin

The post Get Ready For School with a Farmhouse Style Homework Station + Command Center appeared first on Remodelaholic.

from builders feed http://www.remodelaholic.com/farmhouse-homework-station-command-center/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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sherlocklexa · 7 years ago

Text

Get Ready For School with a Farmhouse Style Homework Station + Command Center

A Command Center is going to be your new BFF.

Farmhouse Homework Station Products

Contains affiliate links. Read our full disclosure policy here.

1: Desk 2: Sconce 3: Plant 4: Desk Organizer 5: Cart 6: Hooks 7: Letter Print 8: Chair 9: Light 10: Wall Organizer 11: Paper Tray 12: Pencil Cup 13: Rug 14: Storage Console

Postbox Designs

I love this cheery homework or craft desk featuring a kid's art gallery in the space:

Emily A. Clark

Convert an old dining room table to a double desk with these great ideas from Blesser House. Her homework station is part of her newly remodeled playroom area:

Blesser House

And if you are tight on space, you will love this vintage desk re-do. And I love how she takes advantage of her vertical wall space in a small area:

Lily Pad Cottage

Home Office for the grown-ups

A Shared Homework Center for three kids

Command Center/Place to store backpacks and papers

I always create two versions for my clients that can be mixed and matched, but both versions had the same elements:

1. A desk for the grown-ups with a Computer

Thanks again to the entire Remodelaholic team for letting me hang out with you all today and I'll see you next month with a brand new Mood Board!

Kristin

The post Get Ready For School with a Farmhouse Style Homework Station + Command Center appeared first on Remodelaholic.

from car2 http://ift.tt/2uTpLGq via as shown a lot

#car2

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