#// every trivia bit I get I have no idea how high a writing executive this is and half of the time they pull shit out of their ass like ok
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fan reading the official trivia book voice "bro you're just making shit up"
#kommento#// the snobbiest p4academic scholar of the decade right here at moelgas station tumblr branch#// in pclub they're like 'oh teddie's used his teddie tricks to make glasses'#// then in stalker club is like 'there were tools in the twisted shopping district' where were you seven years ago#// every trivia bit I get I have no idea how high a writing executive this is and half of the time they pull shit out of their ass like ok#// theres more stuff to nitpick here but they won't fit in tags but I'm a snob you'd know where this is going. or not. actually.#// no but this is still a fun read I mean yosuke's such a trooper writing that whole junes club section#// after reading all thesebooks these writers did not give three shits about adachi it really was 2 at best dont give them this much credit#// I forget what else I'm missing in my collection I guess it's just looking for the novels now
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I did a four part series of trivia posts when ATOM Volume 1: Tyrantis Walks Among Us! came out, and that was pretty fun! You can see that set of trivia posts here if you’d like. I thought it’d be fun to do another now that ATOM Volume 2: Tyrantis Roams the Earth! is out - just one this time, because a lot of the trivia I talked about with Volume 1 still applies.
I’m gonna divide this into two sections: non-spoiler trivia, for things that really don’t give a lot of plot points away, and spoiler trivia, for things that DO give away major plot points. I recommend not reading the spoiler trivia until after you’ve read Tyrantis Roams the Earth!, for obvious reasons, and will put the spoiler trivia under a cut.
Ok, let’s go!
- So if you read ATOM Volume 1, you probably noticed that the book is split not only into chapters, but “episodes,” which consist of four chapters a piece. It’s kind of a nod to how the series owes a great deal of its DNA to various monster of the week shows, with Godzilla: the Series and The Godzilla Power Hour being obvious influences. It also allowed me to pepper in some illustrations and cheesy b-movie style titles into each volume.
- The first “episode” of Volume 2, Tyrantis in Tokyo, pays explicit homage to the giant monster movies of Japan, perhaps even moreso than the chapters that came before it. Given how much Japanese media influenced ATOM - from tokusatsu like the Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman franchises to anime like Digimon and Evangelion (hell, the title of this episode itself is a tip of the hat to Tenchi Muyo by way of one of its spinoffs) - it kind of felt obligatory that Tyrantis visit Japan and pay his respects.
- Tyrantis in Tokyo also fits in a tribute to another staple of Atomic Age pop culture: Rock and Roll.
- Kutulusca, the giant cephalopod that appears in Tyrantis in Tokyo, is one of the oldest kaiju in this series, dating back to the first iteration of Tyrantis’s story that I put to paper back in 2001 or so. It’s changed a lot since then, but its fight with Tyrantis goes more or less the way it originally did.
- Old Meg, the giant placoderm/shark, and Nastadyne, the bipedal beetle, both owe their existence directly to Deviantart’s Godzilla fandom. Old Meg originated as a dunkleosteus monster I submitted to a “create a Godzilla kaiju” contest held by Matt Frank, while Nastadyne is based on a Megalon redesign I made during the “redesign all the Godzilla kaiju” phase of DA’s kaiju fandom.
- The second episode, Tyrantis vs. the Red Menace, gets dark as we visit the USSR, which had enough REAL horror with atomic power in its history to make creature features seem a bit defanged by comparison. It’s probably the episode with the strongest horror elements - ATOM’s always been influenced by Resident Evil, and this is probably where that influence shows the most strongly.
- It also features the first fully robotic mecha in the series, the mighty Herakoschei! Its name is a combination of “Heracles” and “Koschei the Deathless,” with the former part being added by its Russian creators to make it seem a bit more international as they offer it to the U.N. in hopes of gaining aid for a very extreme kaiju problem they’ve developed.
- Most of Tyrantis vs. the Red Menace takes place in the Siberian Monster Zone. Its name is a reference to the Lawless Monster Zone in Ultraman, which is such a cool fucking name I wish that I wish I could go back in time and steal it.
- The next episode, Tyrantis’s Revenge, is... full of spoilers, so we’ll move on for now.
- The penultimate episode, Tyrantis vs. the Martian Monsters, is a love letter to MANY different sci-fi stories that involve life on Mars, though the most prominent of them is of course The War of The Worlds (one of my top 3 favorite books) and its various adaptations. From its tentacles sapient martians, the tripodal leader of the titular monsters whose name includes the word “ulla” which is uttered by said sapient martians, the plant monster made of red vines, the cylinder-shaped spacecraft the Martian monsters are sent to earth on, the copper-skinned stingray-esque flying martian who shoots lasers from its tail, and the fact that every chapter title in this episode is a quote from the book, the H.G. Wells influence is STRONG.
- The final episode, Invasion from Beyond!, is shamelessly inspired by Destroy All Monsters, although there’s a dash of “To Serve Men,” Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and The Day the Earth Stood Still mixed in as well. It’s also sort of a tribute to my first “published” bit of a kaiju fiction - a rewrite of Destroy All Monsters that included EVERY Godzilla monster that had appeared at the time, which my middle school self wrote back in 2002 or so for Kaiju Headquarters, a kaiju fansite I’m not sure exists anymore. Invasion from Beyond! is just as ambitious (but hopefully better executed) as my DAM Remake, with dozens upon dozens of different kaiju duking it out, earthlings vs. aliens.
- There were three different documents I made to outline the final battle of Invasion from Beyond! It’s the largest episode of the series so far and more than half of it is that fucking fight. My inner child is pleased, though, so hopefully you will be too.
Ok, that’s all I can share without spoilers. READER BEWARE WHAT FOLLOWS BELOW THE CUT!
JUST MAKING SURE you know that SPOILERS will follow from here on out. Read at your own peril! YOU WERE WARNED!
(I’m gonna start with lighter ones just in case you scrolled too far and want to turn back)
- There’s a number of explicit Spielberg homages in ATOM Volume 2, from a “we need a bigger boat” joke during a chase with a giant shark to the fact that Invasion from Beyond! opens with a group of people flying to an island of monsters to review whether or not it should get more funding.
- When Tyrantis appears in the first chapter, I snuck in modified lyrics of The Godzilla Power Hour’s theme song. “Up from the depths”... “several stories high”... “breathing fire”... “its head in the sky”... Tyrantis! Tyrantis! Tyrantis!
- The two rock bands in Tyrantis in Tokyo have real life inspirations ala Gwen Valentine, albeit a bit more muddled than hers. The Cashews are inspired by The Peanuts (see what I did there), while The Thunder Lizards are a mix of The Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper. I wanted The Thunder Lizards to be more akin to the myth of a famous rock and roll band than the reality - less the real Beatles and more the Yellow Submarine cartoon version of them.
- The song The Thunder Lizards write for Tyrantis was written to fit the tune of “The Godzilla March” from Godzilla vs. Gigan, though ideally if someone made an actual song of it it would be its own song. I got the idea from Over the Garden Wall, which used the Christmas song “O Holy Night” as a a starting point for “Come Wayward Souls.”
- Perry Martin, UNNO reporter and peer of Henry Robertson, is a nod to Raymond Burr, with his name being a combination of two of Burr’s most famous roles: Perry Mason, and Steve Martin from Godzilla King of the Monsters (1956).
- Dr. Rinko Tsuburaya is a few homages in one. Her name comes from Rinko Kikuchi (who played Mako Mori in Pacific Rim), while her last name is obviously in homage of Eiji Tsuburaya. Her being the daughter of an esteemed scientist is inspired by Emiko Yamane from the original Gojira.
- Nastadyne’s Burning Justice mode is named after a similar super mode from various Transformers cartoons, though it’s more directly inspired by the Shining/Burning Finger super move from G Gundam.
- Martians sending kaiju to different planets via shooting them out of cannons (with or without cylinder spaceships around them) is another War of the Worlds shoutout. So is martians living on Venus after their homeworld was made uninhabitable, actually.
- Kurokame’s vocalizations are described as wails in explicit homage to Gamera. His name can be translated as either “black tortoise” (a reference to the mythical guardian beast Genbu, which can also be construed as a Gamera reference thanks to Gamera: Advent of Irys implying Gamera and Genbu are one and the same) or a portmanteau of the Japanese words for crocodile and turtle - “crocturtle.”
- Burodon’s name is just a mangling of “burrow down.” It also sounds vaguely like Baragon, who Burodon is loosely inspired by. AND, since Burodon is sort of a knockoff/modified Baragon, that kinda makes him a reference to various monsters in Ultraman!
- The final battle of Tyrantis in Tokyo is sort of a hybrid of the finales of Ghidorah the 3 Headed Monster and Destroy All Monsters.
- The Japanese kaiju teaching Tyrantis the art of throwing rocks at your enemies is both a joke on the prominence of rock throwing in Japanese kaiju fights AND the tired trope of an American hero learning secret martial arts from a Japanese mentor ala Batman, Iron Fist, etc. In this case, the secret martial art is throwing rocks at people.
- When introduced to Herakoschei and its pilot, we are told that the strain of piloting this early mecha is so intense that many pilots have died in the process, with the current one passing out on more than few occasions. This is of course a Pacific Rim homage - sadly, no one invents drifting.
- Herakoschei’s design is a loose homage to Robby the Robot and Cherno Alpha, because big boxy robots are cool.
- The Writhing Flesh and ESPECIALLY Pathogen are both hugely influenced by Resident Evil and The Thing. Giant body horror piles of raw flesh, tendrils, mismatched mouths and limbs may be a bit outside the main era of monster design ATOM homages, but they fit the themes and bring a nice contrast.
- I came up with Pathogen long before Corona but MAN it definitely feels different in 2021 to have a giant monster whose name is a synonym for disease driving other creatures crazy in a quarantine zone than it did when I plotted out the story in 2016.
- The chapter title “Hello, Old Foes” is a riff on “Goodbye, Old Friend”
- Minerva, the kaiju-fied clone of Dr. Lerna, is meant to be an homage to Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, which is a genuinely good giant monster flick. I am sure many of you will also believe I included her because I’m a pervert whose into tall women, but you’d be wrong! I included the seven foot tall Russian mecha pilot Ludmilla Portnova because I’m a pervert whose into tall women. Minerva’s inclusion was just coincidental, I swear!
- Since Promythigor is a play on the archetypal ape kaiju to contrast Tyrantis as a play on the archetypal fire-breathing reptile kaiju, their fight has a lot of nods to King Kong movies. Promythigor attempts the famous jaw-snap maneuver of Kong (with less success), J.C. Clark paraphrases the “brute force vs. a thinking animal” line from the King Kong vs. Godzilla American cut, and Tyrantis slides down a mountain to knock Promythigor off his feet in a reversal of Kong doing the same in King Kong vs. Godzilla.
- Tyrantis sliding down a mountain on his tail doubles as a Godzilla vs. Megalon homage.
- Though Promythigor is the archetypal Ape and Tyrantis the archetypal Fire-Breathing Reptile, I think it’s fun to note that in some ways, Promythigor is the Godzilla equivalent in their matchup, and Tyrantis the Kong. Promythigor has a slight size advantage, was scarred by humans performing unethical weapons technology, and is associated with violent explosions. Tyrantis is a good-at-heart prehistoric beast who humanized in part by his unlikely friendship with a human woman.
- Of course, in the context of the famous quote from the American cut of King Kong vs. Godzilla, they remain in their archetypal lanes. Promythigor is the more intelligent of the two (though not necessarily wiser), and Tyrantis is in many ways a brute reptile. Their battle is a rebuttal of sorts to the assertion that Kong is the “better” animal because he is closer to human. Promythigor’s near human creativity and emotions don’t make him the kinder/more benevolent monster, but instead fuel a very self-centered and destructive attitude that makes him the far more dangerous threat. On the other hand, Tyrantis, who is less intelligent, limited in communication with others by his reptilian mindset and instincts, and simple in his thoughts and desires, is nonetheless a sweet creature that is easily dealt with when others consider his animal needs and mindset. There’s a quote from Hellboy I love that probably sums up all of my writing thus far: “To be other than human does not mean the same as being less,” and that’s what the matchup between these two in particular tries to illustrate: the “less” human Tyrantis is nonetheless more benign than the “more” human Promythigor.
- Kraydi the psychic lizard began life as a soft sculpture I made of the Canyon Krayt Dragon from The Wildlife of Star Wars. The sculpture didn’t look much like the illustration, but I liked how it came out, and so I made it an original monster named Kraydi (see what I did there). Figuring out an explanation for that name in ATOM’s world was possibly the most difficult kaiju naming task in the series, but it worked out in the end.
- Kraydi and Promythigor having psychic powers is a result of my time on Godzilla fan forums in my middle school years. Most of the forums had OC kaiju battle tournaments, and SO many of those kaiju had a wide array of beam weapons and psychic powers just to win the tournaments by beam-spamming and mind controlling their foes into oblivion. There’s a special kind of rage you get when your original creation is beaten by “Fire Godzilla” because he has a genius level intellect and the power of unstoppable telekinesis. Kraydi began as (and still is I suppose) my attempt to do a psychic kaiju well, while Promythigor’s villainy being tied to psychic powers being forced on him is sort of my passive aggressive commentary on people foisting powers on a monster without any real thematic reason for them.
- Henry Robertson and Dr. Praetorius chewing out the laziness of people giving kaiju completely unaltered names of mythic beasts will probably be seen as a jab at the Monsterverse and/or the numerous writers in the kaiju OC scene who do the same, but it’s ACTUALLY a jab at my past self, who had DOZENS of kaiju whose names were just Greek mythological figures verbatim. There are dozens of kaiju named Hydra, Scylla, Charybdis, Chimera, etc., past me, try to make the names stand out! Oh wait you did. I mean, don’t pat yourself on the back too much, you still went with “Mothmanud” as a canon name and never came up with something better, but, like, good on ya for trying I guess.
- Dr. Praetorius takes his name from the evil mad scientis in Bride of Frankenstein, who basically has all the wicked traits that Universal’s Frankenstein downplayed in their take on Dr. Frankenstein. Ironically, ATOM’s Dr. Praetorius is a bit less evil than his fellow mad scientists in ATOM. I really like how his character turned out, he surprised me.
- Isaac Rossum, the pilot of the USA mecha Atomoton, is named for Isaac Aasimov, whose robot stories are to robot fiction what Lord of the Rings is to high fantasy. His last name is a reference to Rossum’s Universal Robots, which is where the word “robot” came from.
- The unfortunate pilots of MechaTyrantis in ATOM Volumes 1 and 2 are all nods to Jurassic Park. John Ludlow = John Hammond and Peter Ludlow, Ian Grant = Ian Malcolm and Alan Grant, Dennis Dodgson = Dennis Nedry and Lewis Dodgson.
- A good way to pitch Invasion from Beyond! would be “what if the staff and monsters were able to fight back when the Kilaaks tried to take over Monsterland?”
- Ok, here’s a fun joke that no one will get but me because it requires a very specific chain of logic based on some obscure and loosely connected nerd bullshit. There’s a rocker in ATOM’s universe named Sebastian Haff, right? One of his songs, “Darling Let’s Shimmy,” is referenced right before a mothmanud larva emerges from the ground in both ATOM Vol. 1 and 2. Ok, so, in the Bubba Hotep, an aging Elvis impersonator named Sebastian Haff claims he is actually the real Elvis Presley, having changed places with the real Sebastian Haff as a sort of Prince and the Pauper deal that went wrong. Got that? Ok, so, in UFO folklore, a common joke is the theory that Elvis didn’t die, but was rather abducted by aliens (or he actually WAS an alien the whole time - the whole “Elvis didn’t die, he just went home” joke in Men in Black is a good example of this). Ok? Ok. So, in ATOM’s universe, we can surmise that their equivalent of Elvis, whose name is Sebastian Haff, WAS abducted by aliens, and that his song “Darling Let’s Shimmy” is subconsciously influenced by his repressed memories from his time aboard the Beyonder spaceships, which is why it accidentally awoke a Mothmanud larva in Volume 1. There’s a lot of bullshit jokes I put into ATOM, but this is perhaps the bullshittiest of them all.
- One of the most common bits of feedback on ATOM Volume 1 I got was “I kept waiting for something to eat Brick Rockwell, he’s such an asshole.” And I had to smile and go, “Oh, yeah, guess he never got his, huh?��� the whole time without letting on that he was going to die here all along!
- Dr. Lerna and Brick Rockwell’s nature as foils to each other is probably most apparent in Invasion from Beyond!, where both are given fairly similar situations - a nonhuman approaches them with a solution to a global crisis - and react to it very differently. I worry that some people may think they both made the same choice and got different results, and that that’s hypocrisy on my part, but I hope I wrote it so you can see how their choices and situations actually differ in key ways, and why their decisions, while similar on the surface, are ultimately very different, and thus result in almost opposite outcomes.
- So, when I planned out this book in 2016, I swear I didn’t know about the Orca from 2019′s Godzilla King of the Monsters. Having the plot hang around Dr. Lerna deciding whether or not to use a sonic device to rouse all the kaiju to save the earth was not INTENDED to be a Monsterverse reference - it came about from me looking at Pathfinder’s take on kaiju, who are all explicitly influenceable by music, and thinking, “Oh, wow, music and songs DO have a major connection with kaiju in a lot of media, I should do something with that.” Whem KOTM came out a few days after Volume 1 came out I realized I was kinda fucked here, because the comparison was definitely going to be made, but I’d also set this all up already and you can’t just change suddenly to avoid looking like a copy cat and make a good story, so... I dunno, I leaned into it a bit, but it is what it is.
- While most people will probably think they’re a reference to the Reptoids of UFO folklore, the Reptodites are more inspired by the Dinosapien of speculative evolution fame and, even morso, by the Reptites from Chrono Trigger. Me wanting to avoid the “lizard people control the government” conspiracy theory trope is one of the main reasons why Reptodites have this non-interference clause with humanity.
- Lieutenant Gray is a bunch of different humanoid aliens rolled into one - a little Hopskinville goblin, a little classic gray, a little this one weird alien with five-fingered zygodactyl hands, etc.
- There’s some Beyonder Mecha in this volume that are basically kaiju-fied versions of the Flatwoods Monster. The species that built them ALSO engineered the Mothmanuds, because connecting Mothman and the Flatwoods Monster is fun!
- Pleprah is, obviously, a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater.
- Tyrantis’s brush with death, in addition to being so very anime, was inspired by my dad outlining how mythic heroes often have to travel to the underworld/land of the dead before they can finish their journey. It’s one of the plot points that I’ve had planned for this series since middle school.
- I’m sure some will view it as hackneyed and corny, but as a person who’s battled with depression for decades, having Tyrantis’s choice to live be the big heroic turn of the finale was very important to me. Tyrantis incorporates elements of a lot of imaginary friends I made as a kid, and in many ways he’s kind of the face of my more positive side in my head. He’s been telling me to choose to live for a while, and while maybe to an outsider it may seem hackneyed, it’s just... very Tyrantis. He chooses life and kindness in the face of pain and struggle. That’s Tyrantis.
- Tyrantis’s powered up form is called “Hyper Mode,” which is another Gundam reference. Originally it was a lot gaudier and involved him turning gold like a fuckin’ Super Saiyan. I opted for something a little more toned down here.
- Also, speaking of KOTM references, I decided to make Hyper Mode Tyrantis’s final duel with Pathogen be a sort of foil to Burning Godzilla’s final bout with Ghidorah in KOTM. Instead of ravaging the city, Hyper Tyrantis’s pulse of energy rejuvenates his fallen allies, and as a result he is “crowned” not out of fear for his supremacy in the wake of killing a powerful enemy, but in gratitude for his kindness. See? Leaning into it!
- And now I can finally reveal that Yamaneon is ATOM’s equivalent of The Monolith Monsters - that is, a kaiju that is also a mineral. I took the “strange continuously growing rock” thing in a very different direction, though, as unlike The Monolith Monsters, Yamaneon is actually alive.
- At various points in the pre-writing process, either Promythigor, MechaTyrantis, or both were going to die fighting Pathogen. I ultimately decided to let them both live, with MechaTyrantis even getting his flesh and blood body back, because I think it’s more interesting and thematically consistent that way. They get a chance to heal their wounds by changing their ways.
- The Great Beyonder and Dorazor both almost didn’t make the cut, as I felt they didn’t have the same pull as villains that Pathogen, Promythigor, and MechaTyrantis did. But then I thought that could actually be the gag - build them up as the final boss, only to have Pathogen take their crown. I want to explore post-face turn Dorazor a bit more, though. We’ll have to see about that in a later volume.
- Volumes 1 and 2 make up what I call “The Ballad of Tyrantis Arc” for ATOM. I call it that because Tyrantis’s storyline in these two volumes was patterend after Chivalric ballads like Yvain the Knight of the Lion. Tyrantis, a heroic warrior who is kind but dumb of ass, learns of strange goings on outside his home and investigates. During his journey into the unknown he falls in love with a powerful woman, whose favor he tries to win. Through happenstance he is separated from his love and, distraught, wanders around fighting various foes to prove his worth, before finally returning to his love a better hero. Invasion from Beyond! could even be seen as a sort of Morte d’Artur, with Tyrantis and a bunch of other kaiju heroes (including Nastadyne and Kemlasulla, who are built up as Hero Kaiju of Another Story) take part in a huge battle that threatens their idealic kingdom (of monsters).
- Volume 2 isn’t the end of ATOM, but it’s designed to work as an ending if you want to tap out here. As a reader I feel a definitive ending is important, but as a writer I’m always tempted to revisit my beloved characters, so I feel giving closure while leaving a few doors open for possible future adventures is a good compromise between these positions. There will be more ATOM stories, some (but not all!) following Tyrantis and Dr. Lerna, but if you want to know that Tyrantis and Dr. Lerna get an ending and the resolution to their arcs such a thing promises, here you go. An ending, if not THE END.
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Why?
“Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out”
- Annie Lennox
I think I finally hit the low point of my current emotional trough over the weekend. I can’t explain how I know this other than when you have fought depression for as long as I have, you develop a pretty good sense of when you have bottomed out and I feel like it has happened. This may sound like a bad thing, but it has actually lifted my spirits. The worst part of depression is feeling like you are sinking deeper and deeper and that there is no end in sight. While I may be at the bottom of the canyon, I can now see my way out. Of course, that doesn’t make it easy, but at least there is hope.
But, other than that quick update, I do not want to talk about myself right now. Instead, this recent election cycle has me pondering a completely different topic: the death of the question. When I am deep into a depressed cycle, I tend to spend a lot of time by myself with my thoughts and some interesting things come from that. One came the other day when I saw the “high”lights of the press conference the other day at the White House. I’m sure you all know how that went down, so no need to rehash it here, but I found it fascinating that we have come to the point that politicians no longer ask questions or are good at avoiding answers. I remember when a tough question would get asked in past press conference, and the response would be a complete pile of bullshit, I would think to myself why can’t they just answer the question. I now long for the carefully worded nonsense because it was at least an answer. It at least entertained the notion that the question was worth asking. Those days are over.
I don’t think this phenomenon is limited to politics. As a matter a fact, I think it is just a spillover from our society’s general shying away from asking questions. I have noticed this in my own life in both positive and negative ways. For any of you that know me personally, you know that I ask a lot of questions. Some are simple like why as in “why should I rake the leaves when they are likely to mostly blow away?” Others are more inquisitive like “how did my chair in the living room turn into the dog’s bed?”. Still some are purely trivial (not so much to me, but usually to those I am asking), such as “who was the second maid in between Mrs. Garret and Pearl on Diff’rent Strokes?”. Finally, of course, there is the rhetorical question where I know there is no real answer such as “what happened to the bones in the McRib sandwich?” These questions come to me throughout the day, and get asked whether someone is around or not. It can be incredibly entertaining or miserably annoying depending on your point of view.
Now, the first thing you are going to say is “why don’t you Google that shit?” (hey, now you’re asking the questions!). Yeah, I suppose that could work in some cases. Certainly for the Diff’rent Strokes question (Adelaide) or the thing about the McRib (you can look that one up, I would rather not know), but not always. Some questions are meant to be asked in order to lead us down to more questions and not necessarily quick answers. Isn’t that what has driven the human mind and our development over thousands of years? Isn’t that what got us to the moon? Isn’t that what lead us to develop amazing medical procedures and medicine to cure a variety of deadly ailments? Isn’t that what led an advertising executive in 1984 to write the line “Where’s the Beef?” for an unassuming Clara Peller in that Wendy’s commercial? Progress would be absolutely stopped without the question, particularly the hard ones.
But, I am afraid we are shying away from asking questions at all, even easy ones. People are good at making statements, whether they are true or false, about whatever supports their personal goals or beliefs or whatever, but who is out there really challenging themselves by asking questions. The press is trying with our current state of politics, but we as a people have not been very supportive of them. It is unfathomable to me that a first amendment protection could be eroded so quickly and decisively in this country with mostly a shrug from the collective society. A good chunk of that society even agrees with the notion that the press should be restricted and questions should be silenced. That is a real danger. Not only for our freedoms, but for the stifling of any future development for us humans as a species. Without the tough questions, how are we going to get at global warming? How are we going to solve real geopolitical disasters in places like Yemen and the Ukraine? Who is going to take the chance to ask what will it take to cure diseases not yet solved like cancer and AIDS? The generation coming up are likely candidates for all of that, but if they witness the decline and fall of the question, they are not going to even know how to ask never mind find the answers.
I realize that asking questions can be very unpopular, and even dangerous. I know in my working career, that my love of the tough question rarely helped my cause. But, I couldn’t help myself, I just have to know more than what is on the surface. I also love to be asked questions. There is a button at the top of this blog where you can ask me a question and I’ll turn it into a post. I have never received one question from that button. Now, it might be because no one actually reads this blog (a good possibility I grant you), but sometimes I think that we just aren’t conditioned to ask or answer questions anymore. That really saddens me, and I can tell you that getting a question through that button would do a lot to help me through this down mood I have been in (hint, hint). Don’t limit yourself with your questions. Maybe it is something you have always wanted to know? Maybe you just want to be funny? Maybe you just want to see if someone else feels the same way you do? As we have always heard, there are no dumb questions. I sincerely believe that. The only thing to me that is dumb is jumping to an answer without having the courage to ask someone else first.
So, let’s break this trend. Start asking me questions and I will do my best to give you answers. You may not like the answers, but I promise that I will take each and every question seriously and every one of them will get an answer on this blog. I do understand that many of you are not as willing as I am to share things publicly, so there is no need to give me your name and I’ll never disclose your name on this blog. I get that privacy is important to some (again, not me, but some) and I will respect that. Ultimately, I am only interested in the purity of the unanswered question and the challenge in providing some guidance towards an answer. It will be some work, and won’t always be pretty, but it will give us both a sense of satisfaction that we at least tried.
I’ll close out this post with a brief story that I think puts my mood and this topic together. I spent much of the weekend in a terrible funk, often sitting alone with my thoughts. I finally got sick of myself and my self-pity and turned on the television, and on it was a show about the Voyager space program. I won’t go into details about what it was (you can Google shit too, you know), but it was a twenty or so year project to send an unmanned spacecraft to the four outer planets (I won’t give yo the names as they likely will be the subject of one of my upcoming trivia nights). The end result of the mission was incredible with humans seeing far flung worlds up close that no one before us would have ever dreamed getting close to. The scientists who were interviewed for the show went into the many details of the project, but all shared one common trait - they all asked more questions than they answered. The whole mission idea came from the fact that the planets aligned perfectly at that point in time to be able to see them at once in any practical manner. Someone had to ask a ridiculous question after finding that out (”hey, let’s send a spacecraft out there to see them all!) that I’m sure got plenty of scoffing at the time. And yet, it lead to more and more questions that over the course of several decades led to the success of a mission that still is going to this day and sending us data from the uncharted waters of space (after reaching the outer plants, one of the Voyager spacecraft moved outside of our solar system - the first time humans have ever reached that point).
When the program was over, I was overwhelmed with wonder. These people I’m sure suffered from many day-to-day problems that we all have. They may have been depressed, or had money problems, or struggled with relationships, but that didn’t stop them from looking at the big picture and the true miracle that life on Earth even exists and we should explore beyond it to find out why that is true. It was all put into perspective by one photograph. After Voyager 2 left Neptune (okay there’s one freebie for you), the famous Carl Sagan convinced NASA to have the ship turn around one last time to get a shot of the solar system from the other side. It took pictures of all of the other planets, but at first it appeared Earth was missing. Then, in one photo, buried in a ray of sunlight, a technician noticed a tiny speck. That speck was Earth. The place that means everything to us and all of our little problems on it are just a speck in a relatively small and remote part of the universe. That really puts things into perspective for me. It makes me realize that maybe this life is just a bit more important than the trivial matters that have me down on a daily basis and it is worth it for me to at least try to climb up and out of this hole I have been in. It won’t be easy, but I promise that I’ll keep asking the questions that move me forward. Now let’s hear some of yours. Hit that button and ask away. Maybe we’ll get to solving the big problems of the world, or maybe we’ll just have a little fun. I guarantee you for sure that it will be good for the both of us. I know that I am looking forward to it.
Peace,
Jim
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hussie formspring trivia 7/?
So... Is Nepeta actually scratching him or is Gamzee slashing his face on purpose just to be fucked up?
He is slashing his face on purpose. Because I didn't think the erotic submissive asphyxiation fetish death was fucked up enough, I thought a little bit of self mutilation was in order. I hope at this point people realize that when you punched your Homestuck ticket, or really anything I've worked on, you were signing up for something that runs the risk of getting pretty fucked up. Practically everything I've done outside the confines of MSPA has been considerably more bizarre. I'm capable of containing the impulse to do bizarre shit when I want to. If you look at some big stretches of Homestuck, you will observe something that is quite tame, often cutesy, and even at times bordering on accessible. But then, to create a well manicured and widely palatable product was never the mission here. It was about exploration, high diversity of concepts and execution and all that, and I guess above all, fun for me personally. (and YOU!) So there are vehicles built into it to support my more usual fare. The primary vehicle for that was Hivebent, and the entire troll presence in the story in general. It began with a pretty messed up premise. The establishment of a colorful cast of kids from a violent race of psychopaths whose entire civilization centers around brutality and murder, and watching how kids from such a culture relate to each other and come of age. Hivebent began with dark notes relative to Homestuck, and only got darker. The scene with Vriska and Tavros in her quest cocoon was an example of the escalation in fucked up shit. Present events are even further escalation. It was always going to get much worse before it got better. If you got into this story more recently without knowing anything about me or what I've done before, and feel the story would be better suited without the inclusion of the more bizarre elements, or the downright NASTYTIMES, all I can say is that's not who I am or what you signed up for. Do you know about Humanimals? Probably most of you do. It's a comic I did years ago. I still think it's hilarious, personally. If you do too, then I would bet there aren't many ways in which our senses of humor differ. But to many it was disturbing, hideous rubbish. In truth, these comics are probably about as unsettling as you can possibly get without resorting to violent or sexual content. (if it appears sexual in nature, that is only your imagination at work, trust me) http://www.teamspecialolympics.com/comic.php?sec=archive&auth=Blurbs&cid=blurbs/00085-h.gif&blurb=h (Edward was on Equius's wall in the latest Flash) [here's where this answer probably gets a bit too long] I'm constantly mining content from my older work to incorporate into Homestuck. The instances of this are hard to quantify. Let's talk about Equius again. Lot's of people thought he had depth beyond his gags, and that's definitely true. But that wasn't what was relevant about him, to me personally. He was always the troll personification of everything like Humanimals I ever did and put on the internet. (Hence is lusus is basically a Humanimal.) I used to do all sorts of weird stuff, reviewing obscene furry pornography, making weird collages involving horses, and just a whole lot of bizarre shit that didn't make much sense, but I thought was funny. The whole span of these endeavors was quite trollish in nature, and you will agree if you peruse Humanimals. The fact that it puts some people off is part of what makes it funny. So Equius was that entire arena of trollish content, rolled into a character. That's why I was STRONGLY committed to maintaining the integrity of his arc, as I defined it. It was more important by far for me to adhere to his role as the fucked up dude who embodies all that stuff than have him blow it by doing something heroic. He believed he died a death of supreme integrity. And so do I. Don't get me wrong, he was still a gag character. But this was the precise nature of the gag, an homage to an entire vein of humor I used to deal in copiously. He, like some others, trolled you in life, and then trolled you in death. What happened in between, you ask? Well, that was just you falling in love. Whistles was a graphic novel I did years ago. It's another thing I've mined ideas from, which have specifically begun to show themselves lately with Gamzee's turn. And oddly, there's some of Whistles rolled into Equius too. If Equius seemed to accelerate to a point of depth faster than others, maybe it's because he was built on quite a payload of founding concepts, all revolving around perversity. Whistles was about a clown in a circus who was as sweet as could be. He loved his ringmaster, in spite of the fact that the master was a cannibal and a tyrant who attempted to kill him. When the circus rebelled against the master and beat him, Whistles flipped out, killed a lot of people, and absconded with the master into the desert. (nice clown going murderous is obviously what Gamzee imported from this) The recurring theme throughout the whole comic is that every time Whistles has a chance to do the right thing and rebel against his evil master, he can't overcome his loyalty to him. To the point where he offers his starving master his own severed arm to eat. The whole thing is darkly humorous and pretty messed up. Equius imported this insane reverence for the hierarchy at the expense of his own well being. Though with Whistles, it wasn't quite as perverse and didn't have the creepy sexual connotations. (However, at one point Whistles did dabble in prostitution. But when he did it, it was cute!) I get asked sometimes if I will make book 2, the conclusion of Whistles. The answer is, probably not. It's incredibly time consuming making a graphic novel, and I don't know where I'll find the time. It also probably just gathered too much dust for me to get into it again. But unlike Equius, I did plan on giving Whistles a heroic end. I always intended for him to overcome his obsession with his master. For what it's worth, I did finish a draft of book 2's first chapter. It introduces a new villain named Sugarshoe who is, get this, another insane clown! If you read through this and recent HS events, it may seem like I'm obsessed with this kind of thing. Not really. Like I said, I just borrow heavily from myself. http://www.andrewhussie.com/comic.php?sec=archive&auth=Andrew&cid=whistles2_draft/whistles2_001.jpg Just to wrap up this trivia binge, some other examples of old stuff I've rolled into Homestuck are.......... SBaHJ. I did a few strips on a whim, satirizing someone's comics, about one month before I started HS. I folded it into HS as it's primary source of original memes to be referenced ad nauseum. The whole Bro puppet obsession was largely sparked by this series of ridiculous muppet comics I did in the forum years ago. One of the comics actually made it in HS, pinned on Bro's door for Dave to find. File this under More Fucked Up Shit I did. http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread.php?24118-Cheerfulbear-PLAY-ME All the wizard stuff in Rose's house, and her wizardfic writing in general, was mostly imported from my own absurd wizardfic I wrote some years ago, a pretty healthy sized book I never quite finished. It was called Wizardy Herbert, and was a very flippantly satirical story about kids and magic, starting out as what seemed like an unapologetic Harry Potter spoof revolving around a magical summer camp instead of a school, and then quickly launching off the plot deep end into some very convoluted stuff of Homestuckian proportions. In fact, there are many ideas mined from this story and injected into Homestuck. Any time you read anything about magic being stupid or not being real or anything like that, that's Wizardy Herbert talking. Zazzerpan and his full Complacency were minor characters in WH. WH is actually extremely similar to HS, in terms of the nature of the dialogue, the blend of utter silliness and dramatic seriousness, and complexity. It feels like such a similar thing to me, this might be the main reason why I'll never quite finish it. Characters from WH are on Rose's wall here. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002121 Herbert is the guy with the eye patch. He had a magic gun. But he could never figure out how to use magic, so he primarily just went around shooting things. Anyway I guess that's enough about all that.
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Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
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Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
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2017 has been a pretty great year for Serious Eats. We’ve broken traffic records left and right, we’ve been lucky enough to hire some amazing new colleagues, and we’ve managed to crank out some top notch recipes, techniques, and features, all while juggling a host of different complicating factors—three babies were born (!), one of the head honchos got married (!!), and half the office got addicted to a silly trivia game on their iPhones (!!!). Here are some of our team’s favorite pieces of content from the year.
East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana
[Illustration: Laura Freeman]
A study abroad trip to Ghana leaves a student of color feeling profoundly othered, withdrawn from both his fellow travelers and the community he’d hoped would embrace him. The significance of food, family, and mealtimes courses through each juncture of the narrative—and lands the reader with an incredibly delicious recipe for peanutty, meaty groundnut soup.
It’s a moving and beautifully composed piece, but it’s the author’s powerful honesty and introspection that make this piece such an engaging read. Sara’o Bery is a longtime friend, which doesn’t always bode well for a joint professional undertaking, but in this case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to have played a part in giving this piece an audience. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor
Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »
Grilling With Vinegar
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I have a lot of reasons to pick Michael Harlan Turkell’s summertime series on grilling with vinegar as my favorite post(s) of the year. First, selfishly, because it meant that I got to hang out with him multiple times throughout the summer as we worked our way through his recipes, using a grill we’d set up on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Standing in the sunshine and drinking cold beers with a friend while grilling up a storm is about as good as my job gets. But on top of that, I just love his recipes: He has so many creative, unexpected, and goddamned delicious ideas for how to use vinegar in grilled foods. There are the burgers spiked with Japanese black vinegar, dripping with melted cheese and slathered with a black olive mayo; there’s the tart and herbal chimichurri sauce spooned not onto the obvious steak but sweet and plump grilled squash instead; a Spanish-inspired grilled scallion and endive salad topped with a creamy, nutty, and spicy sauce; and—who can forget—grilled peaches on grilled poundcake with a perfectly sweet-sour cider-caramel sauce that should be a classic all on its own. —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director
Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »
Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Writing a post about cheesy bread could so easily become, well, cheesy. But Sohla’s cheesy bread post was so full of easy-to-digest, cheese-filled wit and wisdom I almost forgot it was about one of my favorite snacks in the world. Her post had me at the second line: “In our wedding vows, my husband promised to have and to hold and to always keep the fridge stocked with three varieties of cheddar.” She makes baking them sound like the easiest thing in the world, and for an unconfident baker like me, that is incredibly reassuring. And when you get to the end of the post, be prepared for one of the great visual kickers in Serious Eats’ eleven-year history. Thank you, Vicky Wasik. —Ed Levine, founder
Dive into the cheesy bread experience »
The Definitive Guide to Eggs
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When I first started at Serious Eats earlier this year, the team was deep in the throes of developing The Definitive Guide to Eggs, a.k.a. “The Egg Page.” It was a gargantuan effort of collecting techniques, creating guides to the different shapes and sizes, decoding the terms and labels you find on the carton…the list goes on. It was perhaps the best way to get to know my new team. From the videos produced by the culinary and visual teams, to the user-friendly experience designed by our dev team, to every quick-hitting blurb written and edited by the editorial team, everything came together in a smart and savvy product. I’ve come to learn that such a product is standard at Serious Eats, thanks to the talented folks I get to call coworkers. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor
Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »
Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I love how Sohla’s recipes often start with a story. From the first line, you’re with her in that airplane cabin hurtling its way towards Dhaka, tightly packed in with relatives and strangers alike passing the time by flinging heated opinions to and fro on what constitutes the best chaat, where to get it, and even when to consume it to mitigate the effects of certain digestive ailments. It sets the scene for how you should think about chaat: as a chaotic, beautiful mess of personal preferences synthesized and represented in a dish. It’s customizable, highly subjective, and somewhat hard to pin down, but Sohla does just that. She hands you the essential components, a roadmap to the key flavor profiles, and a dizzyingly detailed but comprehensively clear breakdown of the adjustments you can make to create a satisfying version of your own. My favorite part? How she describes kala namak, personified as a condiment with attitude that lends the dish’s foundational chaat masala spice blend “a bossy bit of savory funk.” Lyrical genius. —Marissa Chen, office manager
Read all about chaat »
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods
[Illustration: Katie Shelly]
Spending hours of my day geeking out with my coworkers about the most fantastic scenes of food and drink from our favorite childhood books and movies isn’t what I’d call “work.” Neither is having a serious discussion over whether the two pizza slices in the Saturday Night Fever illustration should be neatly stacked or remain slightly splayed, and whether the central figure was adequately representative of Tony Manero. Neither is eagerly, secretly reloading comments once the piece was published to see who out there might have been fascinated by some of the same things we were as kids. Writing and editing this post was delightful proof that nothing unites like youthful nerdery. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Check out our favorite fictional foods »
How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The state of salad in this country is a sordid mess, and the problem starts with the greens. Take a stroll down the salad aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see stacks upon stacks of prewashed stuff—salad mixes and plastic clamshells filled with insipid “baby” lettuces—as if all good taste had been sacrificed to the great god of Convenience. There is a reason bottled salad dressing is so aggressive, so cloyingly sweet: Good greens don’t need much more than a little acid and good olive oil, or a light vinaigrette. Daniel offers up what might seem like remedially simple advice in this post, but it’s advice that is sorely needed. Salad shouldn’t be a chore to make, or to eat; salad should be celebrated, from the moment you purchase the greens until you finish your plate. All it takes is a little care, a little inspiration in the supermarket aisle, a tiny wee bit of patience once in a while, and you’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to the salad portion of a meal. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about how to step up your salad game »
The Best Things I Ate in Japan
[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]
I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of seeing (or eating my way through) Japan. I love traveling, sure, and Japan is on my list, but it was never particularly high on my list until I edited Daniel’s essay on his favorite bites from a visit there. This is not a travel piece, not a series of restaurant reviews, and not a primer on Japanese foods that are uncommon in the West, but it includes elements of all three, and the result is a low-key window into the country’s cuisine that makes it seem simultaneously more approachable and more exciting to me than before. It just might convince you that blowfish sperm is a thing you want to put in your mouth. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »
The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas
[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]
Kenji’s “Kickass Quesadilla” post is probably the one I used the most this year. There are three recipes attached, but let’s be honest, you don’t need them. If you’re anything like me, your quesadillas are rarely pre-planned beyond gazing into your fridge and realizing you have tortillas, cheese, maybe some random leftovers/vegetables/pickles, and a strong desire not to go outside. That’s really all you need to make a good quesadilla, but if you read Kenji’s tips and apply them, you’ll almost certainly make a great one. —Paul Cline, developer
Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »
The Pho I Lost
[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]
I have the pleasure of sitting next to Sho at the office. While I sometimes jokingly refer to him as the office curmudgeon, he has come to be a good friend and I appreciate how discerning he is about pretty much everything. I think this friendship really developed after I read his story about pho, taste memory, and his mother. I admired the courage (and ability) it took to write about and share the feelings and memories he describes. And the fact that he can eat two bowls of pho in one sitting (and do that every day for two-and-a-half weeks) is just…well, that’s something to respect. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director
Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »
For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The piña colada is one of those things—like pasta —that is surprisingly hard to get a good version of when you’re eating out. Growing up, the PC was a special-occasion drink and my mom’s go-to at our family’s Italian weddings. That’s where I first had one, at around 12 years old, when she ordered a small (not virgin) one for me—God bless European parents. I love Daniel’s story because the big tip—to freeze everything—is that one little step that can make your shopping trip to buy coconut cream worth it. Trust me, I made several batches of these while testing blenders and it works. The taste is sweet, but not too sweet, with clean, creamy coconut and pineapple flavors, and just the right amount of rum. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor
Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »
What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate
[Photograph: Emily Dryden]
I like to think I know a little bit about Korea: I’ve had Korean friends my entire life, I’ve been there more than a few times, and my father has lived in Seoul for close to a decade now. So I also thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about soju, the nation’s ubiquitous and beloved liquor. When we got the pitch for this piece, what struck me most wasn’t just my own ignorance about soju’s long history (I am never, ever surprised by the depths of my ignorance); it was how little had been written about the liquor anywhere else. This was an untold story in English, one that we were in a unique position to be able to offer a wide audience. Add to that the fact that in delving into the story of what “traditional” soju is, Josh managed to weave into the narrative much of what makes South Korea such a remarkable place��its ultra rapid industrialization and modernization, its skyrocketing cultural capital—and I can say without a doubt that it was my favorite feature of 2017. It was a privilege to publish it. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about soju »
How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Nothing grabs my attention more than the thrilling histories behind iconic foods. Lucky, that’s Stella’s forte, as she dives deep into the corporate intrigue and betrayal behind the beloved biscuit. Walking down the snack aisle has never felt the same after reading about the cutthroat cookie war that culminated with Oreo taking the throne. I’m eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor
A rich and totally unexpected look at the origin of Oreos, by the one and only Stella Parks. I am lucky enough to work with Stella once a month, where I have the pleasure of witnessing her deep knowledge base and attention to detail first-hand. It’s front and center in this piece, as is her intense curiosity about all things pastry-related. Her approachable and snarky style makes it all the more enjoyable—phrases like “they might as well have told Oreos to get off their lawn” pepper the piece throughout. Humor aside, it’s a zippy and fun exploration of a history you never knew you wanted to know. —Natalie Holt, video producer
Get the full history of Oreos »
A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)
[Illustration: Alex Citrin]
This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard
Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »
Obsessed: A Man and His Mold
[Photograph: Chris Anderson]
Man, Rich Shih is smart. And he’s passionate as hell. His responses to the interview questions in this article are so in-depth and intelligent that you might think they were heavily edited, but I had the pleasure of meeting Rich (and making miso with him) in the office, and he really is that knowledgable. And that knowledge is built on a fervent curiosity. This isn’t his day job—it isn’t even related—but he is all-in on his koji project, devoting years to researching and experimenting with the stuff. I can attest to the results being delicious. The article is also accompanied by gorgeous photographs of close-up mold spores and fermented products. Kudos to Sho and his wonderful “Obsessed” series about the passionate amateur and professional foodies of this world. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer
Catch the koji bug, right this way »
For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When Stella told me she was developing a granola recipe to shoot on her next trip up to NYC, I didn’t give it a second thought. I mean, granola is great and all, but why would I spend the time making it when I can easily pop into my corner grocery store and grab any of the 10 varieties they have in stock at any given time? And then I ate it. And then I ate MORE of it. And then I took the entire jar from the photoshoot home and finished it in less than a week. This is the most addictive snack I’ve ever had. And it’s granola so…it’s good for you…right? I made it a few weeks later when my craving kicked in. It’s definitely a labor of love, but well worth the effort! —Vicky Wasik, visual director
Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »
The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Chicken pot pie is one of those recipes I’ve always been too intimidated to tackle; all my life I’ve resorted to frozen Marie Callender’s. Don’t get me wrong, those frozen pies are still delicious, but when Stella came out with her savory pie, it gave me the confidence to give it a try. Who knew making the roux would turn out to be so easy? I also love having the freedom to add whatever fillings I want, and it’s now a crowd favorite among my friends and family. I even got my roommate to give it a try, too, which means double the pot pies at home! —Vivian Kong, designer
Dig into some chicken pot pie »
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Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
New Post has been published on http://cucinacarmela.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
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2017 has been a pretty great year for Serious Eats. We’ve broken traffic records left and right, we’ve been lucky enough to hire some amazing new colleagues, and we’ve managed to crank out some top notch recipes, techniques, and features, all while juggling a host of different complicating factors—three babies were born (!), one of the head honchos got married (!!), and half the office got addicted to a silly trivia game on their iPhones (!!!). Here are some of our team’s favorite pieces of content from the year.
East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana
[Illustration: Laura Freeman]
A study abroad trip to Ghana leaves a student of color feeling profoundly othered, withdrawn from both his fellow travelers and the community he’d hoped would embrace him. The significance of food, family, and mealtimes courses through each juncture of the narrative—and lands the reader with an incredibly delicious recipe for peanutty, meaty groundnut soup.
It’s a moving and beautifully composed piece, but it’s the author’s powerful honesty and introspection that make this piece such an engaging read. Sara’o Bery is a longtime friend, which doesn’t always bode well for a joint professional undertaking, but in this case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to have played a part in giving this piece an audience. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor
Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »
Grilling With Vinegar
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I have a lot of reasons to pick Michael Harlan Turkell’s summertime series on grilling with vinegar as my favorite post(s) of the year. First, selfishly, because it meant that I got to hang out with him multiple times throughout the summer as we worked our way through his recipes, using a grill we’d set up on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Standing in the sunshine and drinking cold beers with a friend while grilling up a storm is about as good as my job gets. But on top of that, I just love his recipes: He has so many creative, unexpected, and goddamned delicious ideas for how to use vinegar in grilled foods. There are the burgers spiked with Japanese black vinegar, dripping with melted cheese and slathered with a black olive mayo; there’s the tart and herbal chimichurri sauce spooned not onto the obvious steak but sweet and plump grilled squash instead; a Spanish-inspired grilled scallion and endive salad topped with a creamy, nutty, and spicy sauce; and—who can forget—grilled peaches on grilled poundcake with a perfectly sweet-sour cider-caramel sauce that should be a classic all on its own. —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director
Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »
Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Writing a post about cheesy bread could so easily become, well, cheesy. But Sohla’s cheesy bread post was so full of easy-to-digest, cheese-filled wit and wisdom I almost forgot it was about one of my favorite snacks in the world. Her post had me at the second line: “In our wedding vows, my husband promised to have and to hold and to always keep the fridge stocked with three varieties of cheddar.” She makes baking them sound like the easiest thing in the world, and for an unconfident baker like me, that is incredibly reassuring. And when you get to the end of the post, be prepared for one of the great visual kickers in Serious Eats’ eleven-year history. Thank you, Vicky Wasik. —Ed Levine, founder
Dive into the cheesy bread experience »
The Definitive Guide to Eggs
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When I first started at Serious Eats earlier this year, the team was deep in the throes of developing The Definitive Guide to Eggs, a.k.a. “The Egg Page.” It was a gargantuan effort of collecting techniques, creating guides to the different shapes and sizes, decoding the terms and labels you find on the carton…the list goes on. It was perhaps the best way to get to know my new team. From the videos produced by the culinary and visual teams, to the user-friendly experience designed by our dev team, to every quick-hitting blurb written and edited by the editorial team, everything came together in a smart and savvy product. I’ve come to learn that such a product is standard at Serious Eats, thanks to the talented folks I get to call coworkers. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor
Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »
Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I love how Sohla’s recipes often start with a story. From the first line, you’re with her in that airplane cabin hurtling its way towards Dhaka, tightly packed in with relatives and strangers alike passing the time by flinging heated opinions to and fro on what constitutes the best chaat, where to get it, and even when to consume it to mitigate the effects of certain digestive ailments. It sets the scene for how you should think about chaat: as a chaotic, beautiful mess of personal preferences synthesized and represented in a dish. It’s customizable, highly subjective, and somewhat hard to pin down, but Sohla does just that. She hands you the essential components, a roadmap to the key flavor profiles, and a dizzyingly detailed but comprehensively clear breakdown of the adjustments you can make to create a satisfying version of your own. My favorite part? How she describes kala namak, personified as a condiment with attitude that lends the dish’s foundational chaat masala spice blend “a bossy bit of savory funk.” Lyrical genius. —Marissa Chen, office manager
Read all about chaat »
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods
[Illustration: Katie Shelly]
Spending hours of my day geeking out with my coworkers about the most fantastic scenes of food and drink from our favorite childhood books and movies isn’t what I’d call “work.” Neither is having a serious discussion over whether the two pizza slices in the Saturday Night Fever illustration should be neatly stacked or remain slightly splayed, and whether the central figure was adequately representative of Tony Manero. Neither is eagerly, secretly reloading comments once the piece was published to see who out there might have been fascinated by some of the same things we were as kids. Writing and editing this post was delightful proof that nothing unites like youthful nerdery. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Check out our favorite fictional foods »
How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The state of salad in this country is a sordid mess, and the problem starts with the greens. Take a stroll down the salad aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see stacks upon stacks of prewashed stuff—salad mixes and plastic clamshells filled with insipid “baby” lettuces—as if all good taste had been sacrificed to the great god of Convenience. There is a reason bottled salad dressing is so aggressive, so cloyingly sweet: Good greens don’t need much more than a little acid and good olive oil, or a light vinaigrette. Daniel offers up what might seem like remedially simple advice in this post, but it’s advice that is sorely needed. Salad shouldn’t be a chore to make, or to eat; salad should be celebrated, from the moment you purchase the greens until you finish your plate. All it takes is a little care, a little inspiration in the supermarket aisle, a tiny wee bit of patience once in a while, and you’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to the salad portion of a meal. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about how to step up your salad game »
The Best Things I Ate in Japan
[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]
I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of seeing (or eating my way through) Japan. I love traveling, sure, and Japan is on my list, but it was never particularly high on my list until I edited Daniel’s essay on his favorite bites from a visit there. This is not a travel piece, not a series of restaurant reviews, and not a primer on Japanese foods that are uncommon in the West, but it includes elements of all three, and the result is a low-key window into the country’s cuisine that makes it seem simultaneously more approachable and more exciting to me than before. It just might convince you that blowfish sperm is a thing you want to put in your mouth. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »
The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas
[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]
Kenji’s “Kickass Quesadilla” post is probably the one I used the most this year. There are three recipes attached, but let’s be honest, you don’t need them. If you’re anything like me, your quesadillas are rarely pre-planned beyond gazing into your fridge and realizing you have tortillas, cheese, maybe some random leftovers/vegetables/pickles, and a strong desire not to go outside. That’s really all you need to make a good quesadilla, but if you read Kenji’s tips and apply them, you’ll almost certainly make a great one. —Paul Cline, developer
Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »
The Pho I Lost
[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]
I have the pleasure of sitting next to Sho at the office. While I sometimes jokingly refer to him as the office curmudgeon, he has come to be a good friend and I appreciate how discerning he is about pretty much everything. I think this friendship really developed after I read his story about pho, taste memory, and his mother. I admired the courage (and ability) it took to write about and share the feelings and memories he describes. And the fact that he can eat two bowls of pho in one sitting (and do that every day for two-and-a-half weeks) is just…well, that’s something to respect. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director
Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »
For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The piña colada is one of those things—like pasta —that is surprisingly hard to get a good version of when you’re eating out. Growing up, the PC was a special-occasion drink and my mom’s go-to at our family’s Italian weddings. That’s where I first had one, at around 12 years old, when she ordered a small (not virgin) one for me—God bless European parents. I love Daniel’s story because the big tip—to freeze everything—is that one little step that can make your shopping trip to buy coconut cream worth it. Trust me, I made several batches of these while testing blenders and it works. The taste is sweet, but not too sweet, with clean, creamy coconut and pineapple flavors, and just the right amount of rum. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor
Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »
What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate
[Photograph: Emily Dryden]
I like to think I know a little bit about Korea: I’ve had Korean friends my entire life, I’ve been there more than a few times, and my father has lived in Seoul for close to a decade now. So I also thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about soju, the nation’s ubiquitous and beloved liquor. When we got the pitch for this piece, what struck me most wasn’t just my own ignorance about soju’s long history (I am never, ever surprised by the depths of my ignorance); it was how little had been written about the liquor anywhere else. This was an untold story in English, one that we were in a unique position to be able to offer a wide audience. Add to that the fact that in delving into the story of what “traditional” soju is, Josh managed to weave into the narrative much of what makes South Korea such a remarkable place—its ultra rapid industrialization and modernization, its skyrocketing cultural capital—and I can say without a doubt that it was my favorite feature of 2017. It was a privilege to publish it. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about soju »
How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Nothing grabs my attention more than the thrilling histories behind iconic foods. Lucky, that’s Stella’s forte, as she dives deep into the corporate intrigue and betrayal behind the beloved biscuit. Walking down the snack aisle has never felt the same after reading about the cutthroat cookie war that culminated with Oreo taking the throne. I’m eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor
A rich and totally unexpected look at the origin of Oreos, by the one and only Stella Parks. I am lucky enough to work with Stella once a month, where I have the pleasure of witnessing her deep knowledge base and attention to detail first-hand. It’s front and center in this piece, as is her intense curiosity about all things pastry-related. Her approachable and snarky style makes it all the more enjoyable—phrases like “they might as well have told Oreos to get off their lawn” pepper the piece throughout. Humor aside, it’s a zippy and fun exploration of a history you never knew you wanted to know. —Natalie Holt, video producer
Get the full history of Oreos »
A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)
[Illustration: Alex Citrin]
This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard
Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »
Obsessed: A Man and His Mold
[Photograph: Chris Anderson]
Man, Rich Shih is smart. And he’s passionate as hell. His responses to the interview questions in this article are so in-depth and intelligent that you might think they were heavily edited, but I had the pleasure of meeting Rich (and making miso with him) in the office, and he really is that knowledgable. And that knowledge is built on a fervent curiosity. This isn’t his day job—it isn’t even related—but he is all-in on his koji project, devoting years to researching and experimenting with the stuff. I can attest to the results being delicious. The article is also accompanied by gorgeous photographs of close-up mold spores and fermented products. Kudos to Sho and his wonderful “Obsessed” series about the passionate amateur and professional foodies of this world. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer
Catch the koji bug, right this way »
For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When Stella told me she was developing a granola recipe to shoot on her next trip up to NYC, I didn’t give it a second thought. I mean, granola is great and all, but why would I spend the time making it when I can easily pop into my corner grocery store and grab any of the 10 varieties they have in stock at any given time? And then I ate it. And then I ate MORE of it. And then I took the entire jar from the photoshoot home and finished it in less than a week. This is the most addictive snack I’ve ever had. And it’s granola so…it’s good for you…right? I made it a few weeks later when my craving kicked in. It’s definitely a labor of love, but well worth the effort! —Vicky Wasik, visual director
Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »
The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Chicken pot pie is one of those recipes I’ve always been too intimidated to tackle; all my life I’ve resorted to frozen Marie Callender’s. Don’t get me wrong, those frozen pies are still delicious, but when Stella came out with her savory pie, it gave me the confidence to give it a try. Who knew making the roux would turn out to be so easy? I also love having the freedom to add whatever fillings I want, and it’s now a crowd favorite among my friends and family. I even got my roommate to give it a try, too, which means double the pot pies at home! —Vivian Kong, designer
Dig into some chicken pot pie »
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New Post has been published on http://www.cooksutopia.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
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2017 has been a pretty great year for Serious Eats. We’ve broken traffic records left and right, we’ve been lucky enough to hire some amazing new colleagues, and we’ve managed to crank out some top notch recipes, techniques, and features, all while juggling a host of different complicating factors—three babies were born (!), one of the head honchos got married (!!), and half the office got addicted to a silly trivia game on their iPhones (!!!). Here are some of our team’s favorite pieces of content from the year.
East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana
[Illustration: Laura Freeman]
A study abroad trip to Ghana leaves a student of color feeling profoundly othered, withdrawn from both his fellow travelers and the community he’d hoped would embrace him. The significance of food, family, and mealtimes courses through each juncture of the narrative—and lands the reader with an incredibly delicious recipe for peanutty, meaty groundnut soup.
It’s a moving and beautifully composed piece, but it’s the author’s powerful honesty and introspection that make this piece such an engaging read. Sara’o Bery is a longtime friend, which doesn’t always bode well for a joint professional undertaking, but in this case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to have played a part in giving this piece an audience. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor
Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »
Grilling With Vinegar
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I have a lot of reasons to pick Michael Harlan Turkell’s summertime series on grilling with vinegar as my favorite post(s) of the year. First, selfishly, because it meant that I got to hang out with him multiple times throughout the summer as we worked our way through his recipes, using a grill we’d set up on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Standing in the sunshine and drinking cold beers with a friend while grilling up a storm is about as good as my job gets. But on top of that, I just love his recipes: He has so many creative, unexpected, and goddamned delicious ideas for how to use vinegar in grilled foods. There are the burgers spiked with Japanese black vinegar, dripping with melted cheese and slathered with a black olive mayo; there’s the tart and herbal chimichurri sauce spooned not onto the obvious steak but sweet and plump grilled squash instead; a Spanish-inspired grilled scallion and endive salad topped with a creamy, nutty, and spicy sauce; and—who can forget—grilled peaches on grilled poundcake with a perfectly sweet-sour cider-caramel sauce that should be a classic all on its own. —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director
Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »
Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Writing a post about cheesy bread could so easily become, well, cheesy. But Sohla’s cheesy bread post was so full of easy-to-digest, cheese-filled wit and wisdom I almost forgot it was about one of my favorite snacks in the world. Her post had me at the second line: “In our wedding vows, my husband promised to have and to hold and to always keep the fridge stocked with three varieties of cheddar.” She makes baking them sound like the easiest thing in the world, and for an unconfident baker like me, that is incredibly reassuring. And when you get to the end of the post, be prepared for one of the great visual kickers in Serious Eats’ eleven-year history. Thank you, Vicky Wasik. —Ed Levine, founder
Dive into the cheesy bread experience »
The Definitive Guide to Eggs
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When I first started at Serious Eats earlier this year, the team was deep in the throes of developing The Definitive Guide to Eggs, a.k.a. “The Egg Page.” It was a gargantuan effort of collecting techniques, creating guides to the different shapes and sizes, decoding the terms and labels you find on the carton…the list goes on. It was perhaps the best way to get to know my new team. From the videos produced by the culinary and visual teams, to the user-friendly experience designed by our dev team, to every quick-hitting blurb written and edited by the editorial team, everything came together in a smart and savvy product. I’ve come to learn that such a product is standard at Serious Eats, thanks to the talented folks I get to call coworkers. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor
Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »
Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I love how Sohla’s recipes often start with a story. From the first line, you’re with her in that airplane cabin hurtling its way towards Dhaka, tightly packed in with relatives and strangers alike passing the time by flinging heated opinions to and fro on what constitutes the best chaat, where to get it, and even when to consume it to mitigate the effects of certain digestive ailments. It sets the scene for how you should think about chaat: as a chaotic, beautiful mess of personal preferences synthesized and represented in a dish. It’s customizable, highly subjective, and somewhat hard to pin down, but Sohla does just that. She hands you the essential components, a roadmap to the key flavor profiles, and a dizzyingly detailed but comprehensively clear breakdown of the adjustments you can make to create a satisfying version of your own. My favorite part? How she describes kala namak, personified as a condiment with attitude that lends the dish’s foundational chaat masala spice blend “a bossy bit of savory funk.” Lyrical genius. —Marissa Chen, office manager
Read all about chaat »
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods
[Illustration: Katie Shelly]
Spending hours of my day geeking out with my coworkers about the most fantastic scenes of food and drink from our favorite childhood books and movies isn’t what I’d call “work.” Neither is having a serious discussion over whether the two pizza slices in the Saturday Night Fever illustration should be neatly stacked or remain slightly splayed, and whether the central figure was adequately representative of Tony Manero. Neither is eagerly, secretly reloading comments once the piece was published to see who out there might have been fascinated by some of the same things we were as kids. Writing and editing this post was delightful proof that nothing unites like youthful nerdery. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Check out our favorite fictional foods »
How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The state of salad in this country is a sordid mess, and the problem starts with the greens. Take a stroll down the salad aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see stacks upon stacks of prewashed stuff—salad mixes and plastic clamshells filled with insipid “baby” lettuces—as if all good taste had been sacrificed to the great god of Convenience. There is a reason bottled salad dressing is so aggressive, so cloyingly sweet: Good greens don’t need much more than a little acid and good olive oil, or a light vinaigrette. Daniel offers up what might seem like remedially simple advice in this post, but it’s advice that is sorely needed. Salad shouldn’t be a chore to make, or to eat; salad should be celebrated, from the moment you purchase the greens until you finish your plate. All it takes is a little care, a little inspiration in the supermarket aisle, a tiny wee bit of patience once in a while, and you’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to the salad portion of a meal. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about how to step up your salad game »
The Best Things I Ate in Japan
[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]
I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of seeing (or eating my way through) Japan. I love traveling, sure, and Japan is on my list, but it was never particularly high on my list until I edited Daniel’s essay on his favorite bites from a visit there. This is not a travel piece, not a series of restaurant reviews, and not a primer on Japanese foods that are uncommon in the West, but it includes elements of all three, and the result is a low-key window into the country’s cuisine that makes it seem simultaneously more approachable and more exciting to me than before. It just might convince you that blowfish sperm is a thing you want to put in your mouth. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »
The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas
[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]
Kenji’s “Kickass Quesadilla” post is probably the one I used the most this year. There are three recipes attached, but let’s be honest, you don’t need them. If you’re anything like me, your quesadillas are rarely pre-planned beyond gazing into your fridge and realizing you have tortillas, cheese, maybe some random leftovers/vegetables/pickles, and a strong desire not to go outside. That’s really all you need to make a good quesadilla, but if you read Kenji’s tips and apply them, you’ll almost certainly make a great one. —Paul Cline, developer
Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »
The Pho I Lost
[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]
I have the pleasure of sitting next to Sho at the office. While I sometimes jokingly refer to him as the office curmudgeon, he has come to be a good friend and I appreciate how discerning he is about pretty much everything. I think this friendship really developed after I read his story about pho, taste memory, and his mother. I admired the courage (and ability) it took to write about and share the feelings and memories he describes. And the fact that he can eat two bowls of pho in one sitting (and do that every day for two-and-a-half weeks) is just…well, that’s something to respect. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director
Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »
For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The piña colada is one of those things—like pasta —that is surprisingly hard to get a good version of when you’re eating out. Growing up, the PC was a special-occasion drink and my mom’s go-to at our family’s Italian weddings. That’s where I first had one, at around 12 years old, when she ordered a small (not virgin) one for me—God bless European parents. I love Daniel’s story because the big tip—to freeze everything—is that one little step that can make your shopping trip to buy coconut cream worth it. Trust me, I made several batches of these while testing blenders and it works. The taste is sweet, but not too sweet, with clean, creamy coconut and pineapple flavors, and just the right amount of rum. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor
Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »
What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate
[Photograph: Emily Dryden]
I like to think I know a little bit about Korea: I’ve had Korean friends my entire life, I’ve been there more than a few times, and my father has lived in Seoul for close to a decade now. So I also thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about soju, the nation’s ubiquitous and beloved liquor. When we got the pitch for this piece, what struck me most wasn’t just my own ignorance about soju’s long history (I am never, ever surprised by the depths of my ignorance); it was how little had been written about the liquor anywhere else. This was an untold story in English, one that we were in a unique position to be able to offer a wide audience. Add to that the fact that in delving into the story of what “traditional” soju is, Josh managed to weave into the narrative much of what makes South Korea such a remarkable place—its ultra rapid industrialization and modernization, its skyrocketing cultural capital—and I can say without a doubt that it was my favorite feature of 2017. It was a privilege to publish it. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about soju »
How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Nothing grabs my attention more than the thrilling histories behind iconic foods. Lucky, that’s Stella’s forte, as she dives deep into the corporate intrigue and betrayal behind the beloved biscuit. Walking down the snack aisle has never felt the same after reading about the cutthroat cookie war that culminated with Oreo taking the throne. I’m eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor
A rich and totally unexpected look at the origin of Oreos, by the one and only Stella Parks. I am lucky enough to work with Stella once a month, where I have the pleasure of witnessing her deep knowledge base and attention to detail first-hand. It’s front and center in this piece, as is her intense curiosity about all things pastry-related. Her approachable and snarky style makes it all the more enjoyable—phrases like “they might as well have told Oreos to get off their lawn” pepper the piece throughout. Humor aside, it’s a zippy and fun exploration of a history you never knew you wanted to know. —Natalie Holt, video producer
Get the full history of Oreos »
A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)
[Illustration: Alex Citrin]
This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard
Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »
Obsessed: A Man and His Mold
[Photograph: Chris Anderson]
Man, Rich Shih is smart. And he’s passionate as hell. His responses to the interview questions in this article are so in-depth and intelligent that you might think they were heavily edited, but I had the pleasure of meeting Rich (and making miso with him) in the office, and he really is that knowledgable. And that knowledge is built on a fervent curiosity. This isn’t his day job—it isn’t even related—but he is all-in on his koji project, devoting years to researching and experimenting with the stuff. I can attest to the results being delicious. The article is also accompanied by gorgeous photographs of close-up mold spores and fermented products. Kudos to Sho and his wonderful “Obsessed” series about the passionate amateur and professional foodies of this world. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer
Catch the koji bug, right this way »
For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When Stella told me she was developing a granola recipe to shoot on her next trip up to NYC, I didn’t give it a second thought. I mean, granola is great and all, but why would I spend the time making it when I can easily pop into my corner grocery store and grab any of the 10 varieties they have in stock at any given time? And then I ate it. And then I ate MORE of it. And then I took the entire jar from the photoshoot home and finished it in less than a week. This is the most addictive snack I’ve ever had. And it’s granola so…it’s good for you…right? I made it a few weeks later when my craving kicked in. It’s definitely a labor of love, but well worth the effort! —Vicky Wasik, visual director
Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »
The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Chicken pot pie is one of those recipes I’ve always been too intimidated to tackle; all my life I’ve resorted to frozen Marie Callender’s. Don’t get me wrong, those frozen pies are still delicious, but when Stella came out with her savory pie, it gave me the confidence to give it a try. Who knew making the roux would turn out to be so easy? I also love having the freedom to add whatever fillings I want, and it’s now a crowd favorite among my friends and family. I even got my roommate to give it a try, too, which means double the pot pies at home! —Vivian Kong, designer
Dig into some chicken pot pie »
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Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017
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2017 has been a pretty great year for Serious Eats. We’ve broken traffic records left and right, we’ve been lucky enough to hire some amazing new colleagues, and we’ve managed to crank out some top notch recipes, techniques, and features, all while juggling a host of different complicating factors—three babies were born (!), one of the head honchos got married (!!), and half the office got addicted to a silly trivia game on their iPhones (!!!). Here are some of our team’s favorite pieces of content from the year.
East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana
[Illustration: Laura Freeman]
A study abroad trip to Ghana leaves a student of color feeling profoundly othered, withdrawn from both his fellow travelers and the community he’d hoped would embrace him. The significance of food, family, and mealtimes courses through each juncture of the narrative—and lands the reader with an incredibly delicious recipe for peanutty, meaty groundnut soup.
It’s a moving and beautifully composed piece, but it’s the author’s powerful honesty and introspection that make this piece such an engaging read. Sara’o Bery is a longtime friend, which doesn’t always bode well for a joint professional undertaking, but in this case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to have played a part in giving this piece an audience. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor
Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »
Grilling With Vinegar
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I have a lot of reasons to pick Michael Harlan Turkell’s summertime series on grilling with vinegar as my favorite post(s) of the year. First, selfishly, because it meant that I got to hang out with him multiple times throughout the summer as we worked our way through his recipes, using a grill we’d set up on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Standing in the sunshine and drinking cold beers with a friend while grilling up a storm is about as good as my job gets. But on top of that, I just love his recipes: He has so many creative, unexpected, and goddamned delicious ideas for how to use vinegar in grilled foods. There are the burgers spiked with Japanese black vinegar, dripping with melted cheese and slathered with a black olive mayo; there’s the tart and herbal chimichurri sauce spooned not onto the obvious steak but sweet and plump grilled squash instead; a Spanish-inspired grilled scallion and endive salad topped with a creamy, nutty, and spicy sauce; and—who can forget—grilled peaches on grilled poundcake with a perfectly sweet-sour cider-caramel sauce that should be a classic all on its own. —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director
Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »
Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Writing a post about cheesy bread could so easily become, well, cheesy. But Sohla’s cheesy bread post was so full of easy-to-digest, cheese-filled wit and wisdom I almost forgot it was about one of my favorite snacks in the world. Her post had me at the second line: “In our wedding vows, my husband promised to have and to hold and to always keep the fridge stocked with three varieties of cheddar.” She makes baking them sound like the easiest thing in the world, and for an unconfident baker like me, that is incredibly reassuring. And when you get to the end of the post, be prepared for one of the great visual kickers in Serious Eats’ eleven-year history. Thank you, Vicky Wasik. —Ed Levine, founder
Dive into the cheesy bread experience »
The Definitive Guide to Eggs
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When I first started at Serious Eats earlier this year, the team was deep in the throes of developing The Definitive Guide to Eggs, a.k.a. “The Egg Page.” It was a gargantuan effort of collecting techniques, creating guides to the different shapes and sizes, decoding the terms and labels you find on the carton…the list goes on. It was perhaps the best way to get to know my new team. From the videos produced by the culinary and visual teams, to the user-friendly experience designed by our dev team, to every quick-hitting blurb written and edited by the editorial team, everything came together in a smart and savvy product. I’ve come to learn that such a product is standard at Serious Eats, thanks to the talented folks I get to call coworkers. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor
Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »
Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
I love how Sohla’s recipes often start with a story. From the first line, you’re with her in that airplane cabin hurtling its way towards Dhaka, tightly packed in with relatives and strangers alike passing the time by flinging heated opinions to and fro on what constitutes the best chaat, where to get it, and even when to consume it to mitigate the effects of certain digestive ailments. It sets the scene for how you should think about chaat: as a chaotic, beautiful mess of personal preferences synthesized and represented in a dish. It’s customizable, highly subjective, and somewhat hard to pin down, but Sohla does just that. She hands you the essential components, a roadmap to the key flavor profiles, and a dizzyingly detailed but comprehensively clear breakdown of the adjustments you can make to create a satisfying version of your own. My favorite part? How she describes kala namak, personified as a condiment with attitude that lends the dish’s foundational chaat masala spice blend “a bossy bit of savory funk.” Lyrical genius. —Marissa Chen, office manager
Read all about chaat »
Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods
[Illustration: Katie Shelly]
Spending hours of my day geeking out with my coworkers about the most fantastic scenes of food and drink from our favorite childhood books and movies isn’t what I’d call “work.” Neither is having a serious discussion over whether the two pizza slices in the Saturday Night Fever illustration should be neatly stacked or remain slightly splayed, and whether the central figure was adequately representative of Tony Manero. Neither is eagerly, secretly reloading comments once the piece was published to see who out there might have been fascinated by some of the same things we were as kids. Writing and editing this post was delightful proof that nothing unites like youthful nerdery. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Check out our favorite fictional foods »
How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The state of salad in this country is a sordid mess, and the problem starts with the greens. Take a stroll down the salad aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see stacks upon stacks of prewashed stuff—salad mixes and plastic clamshells filled with insipid “baby” lettuces—as if all good taste had been sacrificed to the great god of Convenience. There is a reason bottled salad dressing is so aggressive, so cloyingly sweet: Good greens don’t need much more than a little acid and good olive oil, or a light vinaigrette. Daniel offers up what might seem like remedially simple advice in this post, but it’s advice that is sorely needed. Salad shouldn’t be a chore to make, or to eat; salad should be celebrated, from the moment you purchase the greens until you finish your plate. All it takes is a little care, a little inspiration in the supermarket aisle, a tiny wee bit of patience once in a while, and you’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to the salad portion of a meal. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about how to step up your salad game »
The Best Things I Ate in Japan
[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]
I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of seeing (or eating my way through) Japan. I love traveling, sure, and Japan is on my list, but it was never particularly high on my list until I edited Daniel’s essay on his favorite bites from a visit there. This is not a travel piece, not a series of restaurant reviews, and not a primer on Japanese foods that are uncommon in the West, but it includes elements of all three, and the result is a low-key window into the country’s cuisine that makes it seem simultaneously more approachable and more exciting to me than before. It just might convince you that blowfish sperm is a thing you want to put in your mouth. —Miranda Kaplan, editor
Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »
The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas
[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]
Kenji’s “Kickass Quesadilla” post is probably the one I used the most this year. There are three recipes attached, but let’s be honest, you don’t need them. If you’re anything like me, your quesadillas are rarely pre-planned beyond gazing into your fridge and realizing you have tortillas, cheese, maybe some random leftovers/vegetables/pickles, and a strong desire not to go outside. That’s really all you need to make a good quesadilla, but if you read Kenji’s tips and apply them, you’ll almost certainly make a great one. —Paul Cline, developer
Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »
The Pho I Lost
[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]
I have the pleasure of sitting next to Sho at the office. While I sometimes jokingly refer to him as the office curmudgeon, he has come to be a good friend and I appreciate how discerning he is about pretty much everything. I think this friendship really developed after I read his story about pho, taste memory, and his mother. I admired the courage (and ability) it took to write about and share the feelings and memories he describes. And the fact that he can eat two bowls of pho in one sitting (and do that every day for two-and-a-half weeks) is just…well, that’s something to respect. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director
Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »
For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
The piña colada is one of those things—like pasta —that is surprisingly hard to get a good version of when you’re eating out. Growing up, the PC was a special-occasion drink and my mom’s go-to at our family’s Italian weddings. That’s where I first had one, at around 12 years old, when she ordered a small (not virgin) one for me—God bless European parents. I love Daniel’s story because the big tip—to freeze everything—is that one little step that can make your shopping trip to buy coconut cream worth it. Trust me, I made several batches of these while testing blenders and it works. The taste is sweet, but not too sweet, with clean, creamy coconut and pineapple flavors, and just the right amount of rum. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor
Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »
What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate
[Photograph: Emily Dryden]
I like to think I know a little bit about Korea: I’ve had Korean friends my entire life, I’ve been there more than a few times, and my father has lived in Seoul for close to a decade now. So I also thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about soju, the nation’s ubiquitous and beloved liquor. When we got the pitch for this piece, what struck me most wasn’t just my own ignorance about soju’s long history (I am never, ever surprised by the depths of my ignorance); it was how little had been written about the liquor anywhere else. This was an untold story in English, one that we were in a unique position to be able to offer a wide audience. Add to that the fact that in delving into the story of what “traditional” soju is, Josh managed to weave into the narrative much of what makes South Korea such a remarkable place—its ultra rapid industrialization and modernization, its skyrocketing cultural capital—and I can say without a doubt that it was my favorite feature of 2017. It was a privilege to publish it. —Sho Spaeth, features editor
Read more about soju »
How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon/h3>
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Nothing grabs my attention more than the thrilling histories behind iconic foods. Lucky, that’s Stella’s forte, as she dives deep into the corporate intrigue and betrayal behind the beloved biscuit. Walking down the snack aisle has never felt the same after reading about the cutthroat cookie war that culminated with Oreo taking the throne. I’m eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor
A rich and totally unexpected look at the origin of Oreos, by the one and only Stella Parks. I am lucky enough to work with Stella once a month, where I have the pleasure of witnessing her deep knowledge base and attention to detail first-hand. It’s front and center in this piece, as is her intense curiosity about all things pastry-related. Her approachable and snarky style makes it all the more enjoyable—phrases like “they might as well have told Oreos to get off their lawn” pepper the piece throughout. Humor aside, it’s a zippy and fun exploration of a history you never knew you wanted to know. —Natalie Holt, video producer
Get the full history of Oreos »
A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)
[Illustration: Alex Citrin]
This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard
Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »
Obsessed: A Man and His Mold
[Photograph: Chris Anderson]
Man, Rich Shih is smart. And he’s passionate as hell. His responses to the interview questions in this article are so in-depth and intelligent that you might think they were heavily edited, but I had the pleasure of meeting Rich (and making miso with him) in the office, and he really is that knowledgable. And that knowledge is built on a fervent curiosity. This isn’t his day job—it isn’t even related—but he is all-in on his koji project, devoting years to researching and experimenting with the stuff. I can attest to the results being delicious. The article is also accompanied by gorgeous photographs of close-up mold spores and fermented products. Kudos to Sho and his wonderful “Obsessed” series about the passionate amateur and professional foodies of this world. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer
Catch the koji bug, right this way »
For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
When Stella told me she was developing a granola recipe to shoot on her next trip up to NYC, I didn’t give it a second thought. I mean, granola is great and all, but why would I spend the time making it when I can easily pop into my corner grocery store and grab any of the 10 varieties they have in stock at any given time? And then I ate it. And then I ate MORE of it. And then I took the entire jar from the photoshoot home and finished it in less than a week. This is the most addictive snack I’ve ever had. And it’s granola so…it’s good for you…right? I made it a few weeks later when my craving kicked in. It’s definitely a labor of love, but well worth the effort! —Vicky Wasik, visual director
Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »
The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry
[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]
Chicken pot pie is one of those recipes I’ve always been too intimidated to tackle; all my life I’ve resorted to frozen Marie Callender’s. Don’t get me wrong, those frozen pies are still delicious, but when Stella came out with her savory pie, it gave me the confidence to give it a try. Who knew making the roux would turn out to be so easy? I also love having the freedom to add whatever fillings I want, and it’s now a crowd favorite among my friends and family. I even got my roommate to give it a try, too, which means double the pot pies at home! —Vivian Kong, designer
Dig into some chicken pot pie »
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First Lines
Tagged by @laudanumcafe and @im-back-with-the-madness
Rules: List the first lines of your 20 stories. See if there are any patterns. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!
Note: Oh jesus help me.... These aren’t in any particular order, But I think I’m just gonna do 16? (sorry!)
In the Breaking:
It’s been three weeks. Three weeks, 67 failed phone calls, 75 un-replied texts, and 23 unanswered voicemails…they hadn’t talked for over three weeks… not since Patrick walked in of him. It was the longest they’ve gone without a single word to each other, sure there were other times where they had not physically see or heard each other’s voices for months on end, but there was always some form of communication: an email, a text, a late night phone call or hilarious picture messages they would send each other. But this…this was different. It was deafening, it was heartbreaking, and Pete knew it was all his fault.
Come and Save Me (From Myself): “Why do you have to go so far away…”
“U.C. is only about an hour, maybe hour and a half away, dude!” Pete laughed as he packed up some of his clothes into a suitcase, haphazardly tossing a few random items into it as he went.Patrick rolled his eyes and sighed sadly, the 14 year old looking over his best friend excitedly rummage through his closet from where he was perched on the 18 year old’s desk. “I know, but still,” he mumbles, his eyes hiding under the bill of his trucker hat.
Pete stopped and looked over his shoulder at his best friend, screw the age difference, Patrick had always been there for him. “Hey, its not like I’m leaving the state, man,” Pete reassured with a smile, standing from his spot and walking over to the teenager. “Besides, I’ll visit on weekends when he don’t have games, and maybe I’ll kidnap you so you can chill out with me on campus.” He pulled on the bill of Patrick’s hat, pushing it up to expose bold frames and green, blue multicolor eyes that have always captivated Pete.
Heartbeat:
Patrick leaned back heavily in the passenger side of the car watch the lights flicker by, each one burning out like a match as they flew down the highway just as another lit up the road and vanished in a blink of an eye. The rhythm of the passing lights, the soft orange glow in the never-ending pitch black of night, enough to want to lull the singer to sleep, but the gentle hand on his thigh was warm and kept him awake.
The Price I Pay: He knows he shouldn’t be back there, back in the dressing rooms amidst the frills, shimmer, and lace, perfume burning his lungs, as the lights of the vanities hurt his eyes. As he walks through the crowed area, he catches several glances, each with pity in their eyes, boring holes into his skin with each second he’s in the room. He ignores them, adjusting his vest as he makes his way to the private dressing rooms, which were only reserved for the “Prized Dolls” as Mr. Morris, the establishment’s owner and manager (and disgusting excusing for a human being, but Pete knows better than to be vocal about his opinions) calls them.
How to Save a Life:
“Are you okay?” Patrick tensed as the question reached his ears, his back to Pete. Casually swiping the incoming text away, he simply looked over his shoulder at the dark- haired man standing in the doorway of their kitchen.
“Of course I’m okay,” Patrick stated, the words sounding too harsh, even to his own ears.“Why wouldn’t I be?” He sounded matter-of-fact, but it was laced with annoyance and he didn’t know why he was being so defensive with Pete, of all people. Maybe it was because he was about to start a 36 hour shift at the hospital, and he just wasn’t up to it today…or maybe it was because he had just gotten a text from his new co-worker before Pete had spoken up. “Come over to my place after your shift, we can have some drinks…and chill ;)” The text in and of itself was flirty, and Patrick knew that the person who sent it had other definition for chill….
“And you know you want to say yes,” the sinister voice in his head hissed teasingly, mocking him.
All That Glitters: Hailing from a prestigious clan in Chicago, Pete was every bit as rash, dangerous, and protective as any typical person of dragon lineage could get. Patrick learned that early on, practically from the moment they first met with Pete had been standing on his front porch blowing smoke into the wind as Joe introduced them.
And Patrick was quick to learn that if Pete was anything like his lineage, he was fucking stubborn as hell, whether it be lyrics to song, his seat in the van, or even constant cuddles against Patrick’s will, despite the numerous thinly veiled threats and seething looks.
Hot to the Touch (Worried on the Inside):
It’s not the first time one of the kids has had a fever.
Bronx always broke out into fevers when he was an infant, and even through his toddler years, but as he grew older, they were few and far in between, often going unnoticed considering how active the blonde little boy was. (Patrick would be the first to scoff, like father, like son.)
Saint was a pretty healthy baby, too. He only had less than a handful of fevers, again, each going unnoticed, and when they tried to get the little boy to take medication, he would simply pout and turn his head at the pink liquid in the spoon, or crawl away as fast as his chubby little arms and legs could take him.
By Carousel Lights:
“Melancholy does fair well against your scheme, such a sad shade does not suit the rogue on your cheeks nor the jolly yellow of your wardrobe.”
He looks up into the tree, leaves dancing in the wind as he catches sight of a familiar blue-green knitted hat with pointy ears, a painted feline-like smile with jagged teeth, and sweater faux paws hanging over her wrists. Her legs swing giddily in the air as she sits on a branch peering down at him with such rapt content and mischievous wonder. The Mystical being was the last creature he wished to see on a day such as this. Yet he, bright and warm as the colors of his clothes, felt blue and cold like the dead winter’s lows.
Kitty Chester was a most unwelcome sight, indeed
Treat You Better (Than He Can):
Pete knew his place in the student hierarchy.
Pete was the ‘King of Emo’, and with the title, he had the appearance to do it –dark, flat ironed hair, skin-tight girl jeans that others could barely breathe in, dark shirts and band tees, as well as his precious hoodie and studded belts. His fingernails painted every so often with artfully chipped black nail polish (or black permanent marker if he was lazy, which was most days), and his eyes lined a deep shade of black.
Completed Puzzle:
Pete’s thumb hovers over the post button, and for the first time, in a really long time, he actually has to think about posting this for the world to see, which normally wouldn’t be that hard, but considering how ‘big’ this was…well, he wasn’t sure if he was ready yet. Hell, hecould barely wrap his head around it.
He sighs softly and his places his phone down, scrubbing his hands down his face, in a desperate need to shave, but fuck it, they just finished a tour he’s allowed to avoid the razor for a little bit. His eyes flick over to a familiar figure sleeping curled up on the couch, laptop forgotten and two dogs curled with her, a puffball of a Pomeranian sleeping on her side, and a white husky puppy keeping guard on the floor.
More Than Music:
Patrick watched from the wings of the stage as Pete threw himself around the stage with his bass, lost in the music and that stupid grin that he loved so much etched onto his face, jumping his way back to one of the microphones to sing back up for the chorus.
The blonde singer simply smiled brightly, unconsciously bringing the slightly too long sleeves of Pete’s bomber jacket that he was wearing, closer to himself, mouthing the words to the song and swaying along to the heavy rhythm pulsing through the floor.
(Coffee Beans and Vinyl Records Series!)
Today You’re Barista Is:
It started off innocently enough, an idea to make the customers feel more welcomed, as Brendon explained, taking turns between the four of them when it came to the “Today your Barista Is:” sign in front, between the cash register and the espresso machine. It worked out pretty well for the first three months, many of their customers enjoying the personal touches, everyday a bit of trivia about that day’s main barista displayed and their drink recommendation.
That was until Gerard and Hayley got a hold of his board before he knew Brendon had switched shifts with him. When Patrick had gotten the text from Brendon for the switch, he didn’t mind, but when he entered their quaint little coffee shop, he stopped and stared at the blackboard sitting in front of the register, Gerard and Hayley snickering behind the counter. On the black board, a signature Hayley William’s stick-figure image of Patrick, decked out in glasses and a fedora, underneath the painted “Today Your Barista Is:” and beside the stick figure, additional writing in Gerard’s chalkboard lettering:
1. Hella fucking gay (and flippin’ cute).
2. Desperately single ;)
Then under the “For Your Drink Today, I Recommend:”
You give me your number.
He Always Stops for the Coffee( and the guy who makes it):
Being a CEO of a relatively small, yet highly successful record label wasn’t really all it cracked up to be, but that might be the shit load of paperwork, the endless boring meetings with pushy, snobbed nosed executives, and the high amounts of stress and endless nights of sleep talking.
But Pete loved it.
Jitters( And I Swear It’s Not the Espresso):
Five in the afternoon was their usual after-work rush, and usually, rush times make the day go so much faster. College kids were pouring in from after class rush, and business men stopped by for their after work fix, and this isn’t even the busiest they get, not until the 8pm rush, when students are in desperate need of their caffeine to help get them through homework and study sessions, and couples, along with their regulars come in for some late night coffee.
That all being said, the shop is actually full and they’re keeping a steady flow of customers going and coming- lattes are being made, Brendon’s cupcakes and cookies are flying from the display case. The chairs and tables are being taken up and crowd is lively, chatter filling the warm walls as the smell of coffee drifts in the air. But, for some reason, the clock can’t seem to go any faster, and Patrick is getting antsy.
Coffee For Closers (Truths over Mochas):
“We should do something.”
“What, exactly, do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know dude! Something, if we don’t, he’ll lose his mind!”
Open Mic and Caffeine Nights
Gala Macchiato :
It’s fucking cold, which, okay, Pete admits, it’s the beginning of November, hence autumn, but still, it’s cold. And it sucks.
But fuck it, he wants to get coffee before his meeting, and he wants to see a his boyfriend.
***
Tag! You’re it!
@immoral-crow @shark-myths @a-smile-like-that @travtrick @saverockandsoulpvnk @thepetetoherpatrick @personalized-radio
(I feel horrible because off the top of my head, there are the only writers I know on Tumblr, please don’t hate me)
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