#// but then there would be a huge long line of shit that would be like ‘hey willie looks a Lot like this guy from this disney movie 🤔’ lmfao

[devilsskettle]

whenever i hear a song that i would like if it weren’t for the fact that it was too long, i think about this:

like you can afford to write tangentially if you/your music is already popular and you know that people are going to listen to you no matter what and in fact laud your longer pieces as being genius etc but can you really be releasing 5+ minute long songs without a built-in audience?

[ehlnofay]

in the midst of a little depressive episode at the moment I fear and it's causing me to Ponder... in a weird way I'm almost grateful. like this is UNBELIEVABLY better than it used to be, even as much as it sucks in the moment. I wish I could go back to find myself at twelve years old hiding out in the school toilets and tell them that as long as we stick it out for long enough then one day the outsize bad emotions will be triggered by actual definable events and they'll be a noticeable change from our baseline. I'm not ✨recovered✨ and I don't know if I ever will be - I think I might have spent too many developmental years creating terrible patterns and associations to be able to straighten it all out - but it's Better and I'm able to know that it can continue to get better, too. and that's fucking huge.

[selfcarecap]

MUSE [L.H.]

Logan Howlett x reader

summary: Logan would never admit it to anyone, but over the course of his long life he has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. He hasn’t done it in years, maybe even decades, but he’s struck by inspiration when he meets you. Of course, no one can know that Wolverine draws, so he does it in the dead of night, sliding anonymous envelopes with the finished drawings of you under your door. When he sees how much you love them, he wonders if you could also love the person behind them. 

warnings: smut 18+ but with an actual plot for once (brief m masturbation, oral f and m rec, unprotected piv sex, kind of accidental (but consensual obv) facial; pet names: bub, baby, good girl, princess), soft!Logan but he won’t admit it, also soft!reader, fluff (although the summary makes it sounds a bit more dramatic than it is tbh), implication that reader has curly hair, implied mutant/X-men!reader, (obviously the pic doesn’t represent the envelopes Logan uses lol he’s not doing all that)

word count: 7.3k

also i feel the need to say something about the fact that it’s Hugh Jackman’s birthday today lol so uh thanks for being huge jacked man and for giving us our Logan yay <3 | gorgeous divider by @plutism

It’s everything Logan is the opposite of – he would never tell a soul – but over the course of his long life, Logan has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. It’s not really him, but he did have a phase or two.

When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.

He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him. 

Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring. 

He gives in to the urge to get out pencil and paper again, waiting until everyone else has gone to sleep. The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises. 

Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing. 

He picks out a few other things to draw then, to ease the pressure that comes with drawing the woman he��� is friends with. Yeah, you’re a friend. And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more. 

But after a few nights he feels more confident in his drawing skills again, but still, as much as he can picture you in his mind – he can do that absolutely perfectly – he’s not too sure he could really draw you accurately.

So he gets Rogue to show him how goddamn fucking Instagram works so that he can look at some of your pictures and use them as a model. 

He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.

He can’t believe it, but the first time he seriously attempts to draw you, it’s perfect. It’s a small drawing, not even as big as his palm, capturing your gorgeous face. He thinks of adding another few lines to your eyebrows, or to your hair or another small one to the outline of your lips, but he doesn’t want to mess with it. 

Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite. 

He hides the drawing in between the pages of a book, and hides the book under a pile of random clutter on his desk that not even he would normally spare a glance at. But when he lies down to go to sleep, he gets all the stuff out again and gets out the drawing. He wants to see it again. And he can’t leave it there anyway, what if the pressure from all the items on top of it smudges it? 

But he doesn’t know what else to do with it. He can’t really have a drawing of you sitting in his room. What if someone sees? Then what is he gonna do with it instead? 

He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again. 

He could give it to you. 

Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing? 

The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him. To see the side that has him staying up until 3AM to finely trace the lines of someone’s eyelashes and cheekbones and lips, the side that makes him feel calm inside. 

He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it. 

Sappy motherfucker. 

He puts the small drawing back into the book and carefully pushes it between his mattress and the bedframe to protect it during the night. God, who even is he – protecting a tiny piece of paper? He groans at himself as he turns around to go to sleep. 

He dreams of making a thousand drawings of you, with you as his live model. His muse. 

You’re his girlfriend in his dream, he thinks. 

He’s sitting in a chair in your room, drawing you as you tell him about your day. You’re lying on your bed on your tummy, elbows propped up to support your head. You’re gently kicking your feet in the air behind you, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of Logan’s, some silly graphic socks, panties with little cherries on them, and a bright, bashful smile as Logan attempts to capture your glowing features in a sketch block he’s dedicated to drawings of you. 

He wakes up with morning wood. 

Logan is no stranger to jerking off with you on his mind, so he spits in his hand and slips it beneath his boxers, stroking himself as he thinks of you. He imagines you on top of him as he jerks his cock, imagines you under him, or with your legs around his head, or you between his knees on the floor. He cums quickly and hard, leaving his boxers wet and sticky.

He goes for a run after he’s dealt with it and picks up an envelope on his way. He’s doubting himself but he knows he has to just do it. He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door. 

So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart. 

It’s soo stupid. 

He makes sure no one is anywhere near your bedroom, walks up to your door, and slides the envelope underneath. Except he didn’t check if you were in your room. As soon as the envelope disappears beneath your door, he hears a short creak from your bed and your soft footsteps. 

He hears the small and adorable noise of curiosity you let out – a confused hm? – and then he quickly and quietly makes his way down the hallway. He hears your voice about ten seconds later, an intrigued hello? as you open the door, but you don’t investigate further, closing the door behind you. 

Logan’s heart is beating so fast. He’s never doing this shit again. 

He’s antsy all day, waiting for some type of reaction from you. Except you don’t know that the drawing is from him so he’s probably not even getting one, and he can’t conspicuously come to your room the same day you receive an anonymous drawing of yourself. 

It’s also when the insecurity settles in. Maybe he should have added a few more lines or started the entire drawing anew. Who does he think he is pretending to be an artist? 

He shakes those thoughts off as he starts training with the punching bag in the gym. It’s not something that he necessarily needs to train, but it gets rid of some of that pointless energy. This isn’t him, worried about some lines he drew on a piece of paper – a scrap of a paper, really. Who cares about something like that? Certainly not him. 

He sleeps dreamlessly and wakes up the next day disappointed that he didn’t get to dream about being your boyfriend again. God, what are you doing to him? Making him think about being boyfriend and girlfriend. He’s pathetic. You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.

-

He’s not even thinking of the drawing anymore, truly, when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. It only comes to mind when he sees you, alone in the kitchen, leaning over the counter to scroll on your phone, your weird green coffee (“it’s Matcha, Logan”) next to you as you stir it mindlessly with a metal straw. 

“Hi,” you look up with one of those sweet smiles of yours, but redirect your attention to your phone. 

At least you don’t immediately say something like hey, you know that drawing you slid under my door? It was so ugly I threw it away. Since when do you even draw? 

Not that he was worried you would or anything. He hasn’t been thinking about it. Obviously. Why would he? And he knows you would never expect that it’s him; that’s the only reason he did it. He never would have given you the drawing if he thought you could have even the slightest inkling that Logan would be someone who draws. But he still wants to know what you think of it. 

“You want some toast too?” You ask, putting your phone down and turning to get some bread. He sits down at the other side of the kitchen counter and as his eyes flicker to your green drink (he still doesn’t get it), he sees it. 

“Is that–” my drawing, he almost said, “What is that?” He pretends to be confused, drawing his eyebrows together, trying his best to look inquisitive, “No toast by the way, thanks.” 

You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing. 

“Did you draw it?” He asks. 

You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.” 

“Secret admirer?” 

Smiling, you say, “I don’t know. I won’t get my hopes up. But the person must definitely be fond of me to draw me like that.” 

“Like what?” He asks, unsure if he’s about to be offended. 

“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that. 

But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?” 

You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”

Logan stays silent. He can’t seem too pushy and draw attention to himself, but his silence makes you confess.

“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.” 

Logan makes a noise of satisfaction and smiles, asking you to pass your phone so he can look at it more – pretending it’s his first time seeing it. If you think that way about it, maybe the three more lines he was going to add aren’t that important after all. 

The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created. 

-

After a week, he figures he has to give in. Drawing another picture of you is on his mind twenty-four seven. 

It doesn’t help that he still catches you staring at the copy of it in your phone case lovingly more than once a day and you’ve put the original drawing in a special little frame on your nightstand. He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing. 

This is for you. It’s not about him. He’s not an artist or anything like that, he’s just doing something kind for someone he cares about (which is honestly sappy enough but he tries to ignore that). He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy. 

He’ll just make this second drawing and silently put it in your room, and he’s the last person you’ll suspect. 

But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end. 

It takes him an entire month for the next drawing, and it feels more like him that it’s been making him so angry that he couldn’t get it right at first. Maybe he had the wrong picture of artists. They’re always talking about pain, aren’t they, and that’s what he experiences too (over a drawing. Who is he?). 

He takes another few days to keep track of your routine, to monitor when you’ll be in your room. He can’t have it be as close as last time. 

He ends up doing it in the evening. There’s a time after dinner when most of the team stays together to watch tv, just talk, or play some games. It’s normal for some of you to wander off, come back or stick around a bit longer. It won’t be suspicious if he leaves for a few minutes and comes back.

Logan wants nothing more than to follow you when you say that you’re going to your room for the night; he wants to see your reaction. But he can’t. All he can do is go up to his own bedroom fifteen minutes later, lingering in the hallway longer than he needs to.

Just as he’s about to give up and go to sleep, you walk down the hallway, coming back from the bathroom.

“Logan!” you call all excitedly when you see him, and his heart skips a beat. Do you know the drawing is from him? 

“Look,” you take his arm and pull him to your room, “I got another drawing!”

He breathes out in relief; you don’t know it’s from him. He smiles when you hold up the drawing, already framed.

“Were you expecting to get another drawing?” he teases.

“Noo, but the frames came in a pack of two. Isn’t it gorgeous?”

Logan looks at how your eyes sparkle, how proudly you’re showing him this drawing. All the work he put into it was definitely worth it. It’s another picture of your face, this time from a new angle, and with your hair styled differently, curls coiled another way from last time.

Logan clears his throat, remembering to keep up his act. “It looks good.”

“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.”

He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.

“It is. And you don’t have to know much about art or drawing to see how pretty this is. I still can’t believe someone would take the time to make these for me.”

Logan remains silent instead of saying what he wants to tell you. Of course he would take that time for you – and you don’t even know how much time it really took him. If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you.

Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.

-

He’s on a roll for some time. He’s better at drawing again now that he’s getting in practice, and he makes five drawings of you within the next weeks. Logan watches the collection of them on your nightstand grow fuller, along with your smile that somehow gets bigger every time you tell him about a new drawing.

It’s a wonder you haven’t caught on yet, but you don’t seem particularly interested in snooping around to find out who it is. You respect the person’s privacy, but you’ve confessed to him that you’d still love to know. 

“I won’t try to find out who it is. I won’t push it if they don’t want me to know… but, I mean, anyone would want to know, wouldn’t they?”

You’ve adopted the nickname of ‘secret admirer’ for this mysterious ‘they’, after Logan used the term about ten times. You were reluctant at first, because the person isn’t calling themself a secret admirer – you’d just be putting words in their mouth. But after seeing how much more beautiful the drawings get each time, you’ve accepted and admitted that, okay, yes, the person must be an admirer.

Your secret admirer Logan is particularly proud of his latest drawing, excited to bring it up to your room tonight. 

But this time he’s sloppy. He’s stayed for a few post-dinner card games with the team, and it’s risky, because you’ve been saying that it’s your last game for the last two rounds. But he also knows that you always say that, and never mean it.

Logan gets up to leave, and he hears Scott convincing you to play just one more round.

It’s stupid, really, risking it like that. Even if he’s gone from your room in time before you come upstairs, you could easily guess that it’s Logan. He’s the first one leaving the round tonight, so your first assumption could be that it was him.

Maybe subconsciously he wants to get caught. He’s seen how you light up at every drawing, and no matter how much you respect your admirer’s anonymity, of course you want to know who’s dedicating so much time and work to drawings of you. Of course it’s crossed your mind that the person isn’t just doing this because they’re a good friend. They’re drawing your face because they think it’s beyond beautiful.

Logan doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told you yet that he likes you. He’s good at flirting, and he’s attractive – he’s not blind. But with you it’s different, there’s a bigger risk, for the both of you. The older he gets, the harder it is to open up to yet another person. You’re friends, and you talk about personal things, but confessing that he’s in love with you is different.

Not to mention this stupid recurring dream he keeps having, in which you find out it’s Logan who’s been drawing you, and suddenly your opinion of the drawings changes. You don’t like him back like that, and suddenly the drawings feel creepy if you think about him staying up late drawing your face.

He rolls his eyes at himself and gets the thought out of his head, taking the small envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans, smoothing his hand over it. He looks around, making sure no one sees him.

Logan bends down to slide the envelope under your door as usual, but one of the corners of the paper catches against the wall, and he quickly opens it to check the drawing isn’t damaged. His heart is beating so fast, he feels stupid. 

He can hear footsteps, still far away, but he can hear them. Logan messily licks the edges of the envelope to close it back up, but it’s not sticking. He can’t decide between shoving it under the door like this or leaving now and bringing it back the next day. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage now.

Then he hears it. He miscalculated how far the footsteps were.

“Logan?”

He turns around slowly, and it feels like the world has frozen.

You come closer, looking at him and then at the letter that he must’ve dropped. It hasn’t made it under your door yet.

He says something before you can, “I’m delivering for someone else.”

“Who?” you ask, bending down to pick up the envelope. If he wasn’t petrified, he’d enjoy the view of you bent over in front of him.

He breathes. He can’t have anyone taking credit for his work, for his art (you called it that recently, he would never). But his heart is beating so fast he doesn’t know what the fuck to do or say. 

This is exactly why he never wanted to do any of this. He’s making a fool out of himself and that doesn’t usually happen, especially not over a piece of paper. Logan is confident, cocky even, he can admit that, and has no idea how to deal with things like being nervous; he never has to. This really isn’t him.

You don’t wait for an answer and look at the envelope. You open it so carefully, gently taking the drawing out with your fingertips. You’re treating it with so much care he immediately feels better. Again, this isn’t for him, it’s for you. (Well, it’s for him too but it’ll take him a while to admit that). 

He’s drawn your smile this time. You were happy in most of the drawings before, but he focussed more on the eyes, and your lips only ever tugged up in a slight smile. 

This one is a full-toothed grin, mid-laugh. 

You two were drinking last weekend. He barely felt it but your tipsy, giggly mood was contagious. He couldn’t imagine himself feeling any other way but blissful when you’re happy around him. 

It started when Logan made a casual comment about something silly Scott was wearing that night, and he had you giggling. He wanted to immediately hear that angelic sound again, of course, and so he gave you every joke about your shared friends he could think of – all light-hearted, but he was still glad you two were alone. 

It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.

You look up at him now, eyes filled with tears. 

“You drew this?” you ask.

He nods softly. He can’t say it but he hopes the drawings convey how in love with you he is. 

Suddenly, Logan feels like his heart has stopped beating.

You’re kissing him. 

You’ve leaped up, wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and now your lips are on his. 

He feels your mouth falter, probably because he’s being a fucking idiot and not kissing you back. Logan places his hands on your waist to pull you further towards him. Then his brain finally catches up and he can do what he’s wanted to for so long. 

He takes your chin with two fingers and angles you so you can kiss him easier. He closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your soft, warm lips against him. You’re soft and warm all over. Your top has slipped up over his fingertips at your sides, and he slides his hands further around your back to support you against him even better. 

Logan’s tongue pushes at your lower lip, and you let out the sexiest, tiny moan of surprise as you part your lips for him, granting him access. 

His tongue touches the tip of yours and from then on your cravings intensify. You feel your way over his muscular shoulders, his big biceps and over the hard planes of his chest. When you’ve had a good feel there, your hands grip his shirt in desperation and Logan gets even hungrier for you. He gently bites at your lower lip, but then you shriek into his mouth and squirm out of his grasp. He opens his eyes wide. 

You grip Logan’s forearm for support when you bend down in a panic, picking up the drawing you just dropped. You let out a big breath of relief when you see it hasn’t been damaged. 

“You made me drop it!” You slap a hand to his chest; it doesn’t actually hurt and it’s not meant to, but it leaves a pleasant tingle behind instead. 

“I didn’t do anything”, Logan laughs, and you shake your head at him with a smile.

You take him into your room where you make him sit on the bed while you stare at the new drawing in awe. “I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it.

“No one else knows.”

You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.

“I’ll only draw for you anyway, so there’s no point in telling anyone else.”

“You’re really good. I love the drawings.”

Logan gives a satisfied hum at your words, “You inspired me. Can’t have you walking around all pretty and not expect me to try and recreate it.”

You straddle Logan and hover over his lap to hug him, “They’re the best thing anyone's ever given to me. Do I really look like that?” You say the last question more quietly, and Logan wraps his arms around your sides, careful not to bump your hand that’s still holding the drawing.

“You’re more gorgeous than anything I could ever capture, but I think it comes close. I didn’t change anything about you to make you more beautiful. I couldn’t if I tried. I just tried to draw you as accurately as possible, that’s why it’s so beautiful.”

“I really love it,” you say again, happily staring at the details of the drawing. Hearing you say the word love so much tempts Logan, but he doesn’t want to move too fast. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He does, however, want to kiss you again.

Logan carefully takes the framed drawing and puts it on your nightstand. You push your mouth against his before he can initiate the kiss, and he grins against your lips.

You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.

Your chest is pressed against Logan’s, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. You may or may not be pressing your boobs against his body on purpose.

“God, baby, I’ve waited so long for this,” he says, already breathless, as his hands trail down your back, leaving goosebumps behind.

“You’ve waited long?” you raise your eyebrows, grinning, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I met you.”

You see the look in Logan’s eyes changing as he bites his lip, “Who says I didn’t want the same?”

You giggle, “Why did it take us so long?”

Logan chuckles, readjusting you so that you’re even closer to him, “I was too busy to actually talk to you, just been starin’ at you so I could draw you.” His cheeks have the faintest red tint, and you kiss them, hugging him.

You whisper into his ear, “Then it was worth the wait. And anyway, it’s not talking that I’m interested in right now.”

He pulls you back to look into your eyes, then at your lips. “Where do you want me?” he asks. You giggle slightly helplessly; you weren’t entirely prepared to have a man like Logan at your mercy like this tonight.

“You can do whatever you want,” you say softly, kissing him.

Logan’s lips are hungry against yours, strings of spit falling between you two, but he pauses the kiss to lie you on your back. “Wanna eat you out,” he husks, “Been dying to know what you taste like forever, bub. Can I?” He reaches for the hem of your top, and you nod so that he can pull it off you, admiring what’s underneath. 

“Sometimes I make myself cum imagining that I’m going down on you,” you confess somewhat shyly, but you figure he’s been so vulnerable for you that you can share a secret too.

Logan smirks, and pulls off his shirt, “Maybe we can make your dream come true then.”

You move to sit up, but he insists on eating you out first. You both take off all your clothes, staring at each other with huge smiles on your faces for a few moments. You’ve never seen Logan this happy.

“Look at you, baby. So pretty,” he leans down to kiss your lips, then down your neck, all the way to your legs. He spreads them, lying down between them as he all but drools at the sight of your wet pussy.

You get nervous all of a sudden. “It’s been a while,” you tell him. He looks up, taking your hand, enveloping it completely in his much bigger one.

“You sure about this? We can wait,” he gently kisses your knuckles, and a warmth spreads in your chest, slowing your heartbeat down a little.

“I’m sure,” you nod, and Logan comes up again to kiss you. The head of his hard cock catches against the space above your clit, and you both look down between your bodies. When Logan looks back up at you, his eyes are desperately begging you. You place your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his hair as he moves down your body.

“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he mumbles into your thigh, kissing you there. You giggle, getting comfortable, your hand never leaving his hair.

Logan starts eating you out, his tongue gentle but determined against your clit.

“Taste so good, baby. Even better than I imagined.” You hum at Logan’s words, already feeling yourself come undone with his mouth on your wet pussy.

You sink further into the mattress when he starts sucking on your clit, licking into your pussy like a man starved every few moments, and your thighs squeeze around Logan’s head, and it’s even better than in his fantasies.

“Feels really good,” you tell him, pulling on his hair to stop yourself from moving too much, and Logan moans against your skin. Hearing your words motivates him even more, and he pushes two fingers into your wet pussy. He curls his fingers, rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.

Your back arches as you cum, Logan’s lips wrapped around your clit as your legs push harder against his head, and all he does is moan, revelling in the feeling.

Logan doesn’t stop licking your pussy until you’re tugging his head away by his hair, and he comes up for air with a grin on his face. You smile back, pulling him up to kiss him. You give yourself only a few seconds of recovery time before you make him sit down. You know you’d never have enough strength to actually make him get into a different position, but he lets you.

You push him onto his back, getting between his legs. You’re blinking up at him all prettily when you ask, “Can I suck your dick? Please?”

Logan huffs to himself because he can’t believe how hot you are, can’t believe that this is really finally happening. He tells you yes – he has no more words to describe how badly he wants this – and he watches you wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

It’s hard to grasp that it’s really you doing this right now – the woman he’s been into for so long. His cock is in your mouth and you look so gorgeous with spit running down from your lips, and all he can think of is all the dirty drawings he can now make of you, if you’ll let him.

He closes his eyes when you take him deeper, enveloping him with your warm, wet mouth. “Good girl,” he whispers absent-mindedly, too gone to say much more.

You’re not using your hands as you suck his cock, your spit trailing down on him, and you’re so eager. But it’s also late, and he sees you getting tired, eyes blinking slower as you pause to catch your breath every few moments. He also sees the determination in your eyes, and the absolute want, but he doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself. 

You look so sexy all fucked out, strings of spit connecting your mouth to his cock as you pull away another time, giggling up at him shyly when you realise that he’s noticing you getting tired.

“Just need a second,” you wipe your mouth, out of breath, and it’s not that you’re not incredibly hot like this, but he still wants to fuck you tonight and he’s not sure that will happen if you keep going.

“C’mere, baby,” he says, reaching out his hand.

“Huh?” you ask, taking his hand nevertheless.

“Get back here, baby. I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? Don’t want you tiring yourself out.”

You let him lift you and put you on your back, but you pout, “Wanna taste you.”

Logan grins, “I’ll cum in your mouth, princess. Promise.”

You smile at his answer, satisfied, so you lie back down, pulling your legs up to your chest. His cock looks huge as he jerks himself off between your legs, rubbing the tip against your clit, making you squirm.

“Don’t know if I can take you,” you bite your lip. You’re not entirely sure if you mean it or not. You definitely want to try.

“We’ll make it fit, baby, we’ll make it fit,” Logan assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth, a mix of your wetness and his precum between your mouths. You feel his cock at your pussy, “You ready?”

“I’m ready,” you nod desperately, letting him push his cock into your pussy. He pauses after a few inches, but you wrap your legs around his waist more tightly, and he goes deeper.

“Y’okay, baby? You can take it, right?”

You nod, unable to form words with your pussy stretched like this, a combination of pleasure and pain between your legs – but it’s infinitely more pleasure.

“That’s right. You’re my good girl, hm?” He kisses along your neck as he bottoms out, and you both moan when he’s got his cock fully stuffed inside you for the first time. He pulls out slightly when you whine at the stretch, but you scratch down his back to get his attention.

“I can take it,” you tell him, and you watch the look in his eyes darken.

He begins to fuck you, the pain subsiding more with every thrust into your wet pussy. You can barely take him, but it feels good. With your slight tiredness, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. 

You can’t believe that Logan – your super hot friend Logan who you’ve been fantasising about for so long – is fucking you. He not only feels the same way about you, but he’s been your secret admirer this entire time, taking hours and hours out of his day to make you smile. You’re the only one he wants.

And now he’s fucking you, fucking you well, and you feel so warm inside, not just from the sex but you feel warm in your heart, because of Logan’s care.

“You okay?” he asks, stroking a hand down your face when he notices you’re not entirely present. You nod happily, smiling up at him, and you can’t talk because you feel so good.

“Good, that’s good, bub, but let me know if it gets too much,” he says as he starts rubbing your clit, watches you nod while he’s fucking you so well, and he’s so big and so deep inside of you, “Squeezing me so tight, baby, feel so fucking good.”

You cum suddenly, letting the warm pleasure flow through your body as Logan keeps fucking you through it, rubbing your clit in just the right rhythm.

“That’s my girl, taking it so well,” he moans, breaths stuttering. You slump against the pillow after a few moments, with a soft smile on your face, and Logan pulls out.

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he jerks his cock, and you sit up on your elbows immediately, looking him in the eyes with a smile as you stick out your tongue for him. He promised.

Logan moans when he cums, painting your face in his release, jerking himself off. He holds your head in place with his other hand, aiming for your mouth but you’re making no effort to catch his cum there.

“Such a pretty fucking face, princess, ’m cumming all over it,” he rasps, shooting more ropes of his cum all over your cheeks, jacking off onto your face.

You open your eyes when he’s done and breathing heavily, and you smile up at him. You open your mouth, taking the head of his cock between your lips to suck off the last drops of cum.

“Look at you, baby. Look so fucking pretty with my cum all over your gorgeous face.”

You hum, pulling your mouth off him and licking your lips, tasting his salty release. You brush a finger over your cheek, sucking it into your mouth to taste him more. Logan kisses you then, the flavour of himself mixing between your mouths.

He cleans you up gently, carefully wiping your face with a baby wipe and kissing every inch of your cheeks afterwards. You take his face to kiss him properly, and if you didn’t seem so tired Logan would be ready for round two immediately.

“Next time you could try to actually cum in my mouth,” you tease, making Logan grin.

“Sorry, baby. Got too excited. Couldn’t focus on asking you again if it was okay.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I liked it.”

Logan grins, “Oh I could tell you liked it, baby.” You lightly slap his chest as you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss.

You cuddle for a while, not saying much because you don’t have to. You’ve both waited for this for so long that you’re just enjoying the moment, enjoying that it finally happened.

You slip out of his arms to sit on top of him. You’re in nothing but panties, the blanket bunching around your hips. You lean your hands against his chest as you tell him more about how much the drawings delighted you. And Logan cares, of course he cares to hear that, but he’s also just a man seeing the woman he’s into naked for the first time still. 

You become quiet when you realise that he’s not listening, and you giggle, “Distracted?”

Logan grins, “Just a little fucking bit, baby.” His eyes don’t leave your body, and you laugh as you bend down to kiss him. He grabs your ass, kneading the flesh. When you slightly sit up again, your tits are near his face, and he can’t help himself. He cups your breasts, playing with your nipples, making you hum.

“I should draw these,” he looks up at you, “Should draw every perfect fucking inch of you.”

“You wanna?” You adjust how you’re seated in his lap, and you feel that he’s already half hard under you again.

“Maybe after I’ve fucked you again.”

You smile, feeling yourself growing wetter on top of him.

“Tomorrow,” he continues, and your smile drops.

“But you’ve got to get more familiar with the inspiration, right? If you’re going to draw me.”

“That’s true, baby. But I think you’re too tired.”

You smile bashfully, ignoring how your eyelids were drooping shut just a few seconds ago, “Okay, but then I’ll have more energy for tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl,” he smiles, pulling you off him to cuddle you again. He tucks you in and kisses your head. 

You turn to your side, taking one of the framed drawings and looking at it for a while. 

Logan watches you looking at it, and the sparkle in your eyes never fails to make him feel all warm inside. “Now that you actually know about it, I don’t have to draw you from memory anymore. I can study my muse in peace.”

“Aww, I’m your muse?” you beam.

“Of course you are, princess. You’re the only reason I’m drawing again.”

“I love your drawings so much.”

Logan clears his throat, and looks at you. “Well, I love you. So, I think that went into them.”

You look at him, pouting and then kissing him. “I love you too,” you say into his mouth. He grins against your lips, pulling you closer to kiss you some more. He can barely grasp that you just said that, but he’ll have enough time soon to comprehend how lucky he is. 

For now, he takes your hand, and asks, “The question might be redundant now, but do you wanna be mine? Be my girlfriend?”

“I’m already yours.”

Logan grins, takes you in his arms, and you’re still cuddling when you’re both drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

P.S. reblog with a comment and let me know your favourite moment/what you liked to get a drawing from Logan under your door tonight and a facial <33

gorgeous divider by @pommecita

[sangwookisser]

⭒DUMMY - THANOS⭒

cw: slight bimbo! reader, name-calling, degrading, corruption kink, naive! reader, oral sex (m receiving), cum eating, dumbification, semi public sex (there's a camera in the room), hair pulling, dubcon

a/n: if this does well ill hopefully write a part two

Ever since you'd arrived to this shithole, Thanos had been on your case. He was sort of sleazy, flirting with any girl who'd look at him twice, but it was clear you were his favorite.

From Thanos' experience with women, most would act uninterested and secretly want him, or be uninterested and tell him to go fuck himself. Either way, he could probably get a clear read on them after one or two conversations. You, on the other hand, were impossible to decipher.

He'd never met someone as meek as you. You'd scurry away and lower your head if he so much as looked at you, you'd listen to his voice and be sure to avoid the location it was coming from, and you refused to respond to him. You just bowed and apologized and ran away.

Like a fawn.

He'd never been so fascinated by someone before. You had these huge doe eyes with long fucking lashes, and whenever he'd tease you too much, they'd get all wide and glassy and your lip would wobble, then you'd run away with your hands over your ears. He wasn't sure if you thought he was going to wring your neck the second you let your guard down or something, but shit, the way your eyes looked when they were red rimmed and watery, or how you'd look up at him and worry your plush lower lip between your teeth, God, it left a throbbing ache in his boxers.

It was a new morning, and he was just aching to come find you so he could tease you or pull your hair a bit to listen to the sounds you'd make, but to his surprise, you'd slept under your bed, curled into a ball with a pillow under your head. Holy shit, you were such a coward. He couldn't believe it.

You were still half asleep when you felt him pulling you out from under the bedframe, and your head lolled, your vision blurry and unadjusted to the light. His dick twitched with interest as he sat you upright in front of him, holding your arms so you couldn't run.

He brushed his hand over your smooth, silky hair, watching the way you shivered and looked like a lost baby animal. You were so soft, he thought. From how close he was sitting, he could see the little freckles dotted on your nose, small, but there, the way your lower lip was raw from your anxious biting, and the way your pupils slowly contracted as you focused your vision.

You whined anxiously, not understanding why he was examining you so closely.

"Why are you so scared of me, hm?" He asked softly, holding your face now, watching you, analyzing you.

You didn't speak, petrified, and he let out an annoyed sound, squeezing your face in his hands as you whimpered at the contact, your eyes filling with those stupid fucking tears as if on cue. He squeezed more, watching the way your lips squished together, pink and plush, like soft cherries. Fuck, he wanted a taste.

He leaned in...

"Hey man, are you going to the line for breakfast? We gotta hurry if we wanna get ahead of all these hungry bastards."

Thankfully, his friend came up behind him and startled both of you, making Thanos jump a bit. He's pissed out of his fucking mind as you take the opportunity to bolt, just like always. Thanos could punch something. He grunted and scowled at his friend, shooting you one last look before he stood up and roughly shoulder checked the idiot that made him lose you, as he stalked away with a scowl.

You walked into the spacious, circular room with trepidation, wringing your hands together. By now, a lot of the players had found teams or integrated themselves into tight knit groups, but you didn't fit in with any of them. Moreso, you didn't trust anyone here. You follow the crowd onto the platform and stand on one of the inner corners, hoping not to be jostled off and shoved to the ground.

The P.A. system announces a game called Mingle, where you're instructed to enter a room with a certain number of people before the timer goes down. Naturally, there's not enough rooms for everyone, and you figured a large chunk of people wouldn't make it out of here alive.

Anxiety overwhelmed you as you watched people whisper to one another, making strategies and alliances to ensure they can win the game. You had no one. You hugged yourself soothingly, failing to notice the way Thanos' eyes are trained on you.

You're pathetic. Anyone with a brain would start talking or kissing ass to try and find a group to join, but you just sort of gave up. You wouldn't speak, wouldn't ask for help. You just stood there and accepted your fate. He was so intent on watching your stupid little face scrunch up that he barely noticed the platform start to move and a song begin to play.

When the platform stopped suddenly and the announcer called for ten people, he gestured for his team to follow him before grabbing you by the forearm and instructing his friends to grab a few more people, while he pulled you to a room, holding you still. You looked up at him with surprise and worry, your big fucking eyes all glossy once more.

"What's wrong with you, huh?" He snaps. "Are you trying to get yourself killed? You didn't even fucking move, you're just standing there and waiting to get a bullet in your stupid little head." You whimper, hearing the lock click as Thanos' friends manage to collect enough people in time, while his attention remains on you. Your lip wobbles at the sound of him yelling at you, and he feels his blood heat up a little bit. Fuck, you get to him so much. He just wanted to kiss you, just once. Maybe bite your plump lips. Or put his cock between them.

"'M-mmf... s-sorry, I j-just di-didn't think-"

"Do you ever?" He interrupts you, poking your forehead hard enough for you to stumble, and you pant softly as you manage to catch your footing, your heart racing. "You just stand there all the time and bat your lashes like some stupid little doll. In case you haven't noticed, dummy, your life's on the line."

You nod quickly, the timer ending at the perfect moment as you're able to slide out of the room quickly before you had to endure any more berating comments from Thanos.

He followed you, though, grabbing onto the back of your tracksuit jacket, causing you to stumble back and be dragged along with him as he sets you in front of him in his arms as the music starts again.

The cycle continues.

Though you wouldn't say it out loud, you did feel a lot safer with Thanos herding you around like you were a puppy on a leash. You were guaranteed to find a room each time because he'd throw people out of the way to get to a vacant room first, and you'd be with him each and every time.

Until the last number was called. Two. He pulled you along by your wrist to a room, shoving stragglers out of his path and having no regrets about it, laughing as he locks you two in the cramped room together, the air stale and warm with the faint, unpleasant scent of blood from outside. The timer continues to go down.

"They'll probably have us in these rooms longer." he comments, looking at you as you tremble a bit, shaken and on edge, though you don't know if its because you're alone with him or because of the sound of screams and gunshots that will likely follow sooner than later.

"Wh-why?" You ask softly, and he scoffs, staring at you like he's looking at a misbehaved child. he stoops to your level, pinching your chin between his fingers to tip your head up, rendering your attempts to avoid eye contact futile.

"Because they gotta take longer to shoot everyone 'cause there's barely any rooms left. And they gotta clean up the blood after and sanitize the place."

"O-oh. Why can't they do it after?" You press further. You're not sure if you're so winded and overwhelmed that nothing makes sense to you right now and you feel the need to ask so many questions, but Thanos just seems to think you're the dumbest little thing in the world.

He scoffs and shakes his head lowly, pushing a thumb swiftly past your lips and pushing down on your tongue so any sound you make is muffled.

"Are you this stupid or are you talking just to talk? God, I had to shut up because you were giving me a migraine. That's why pretty bitches like you should just shut up and have your mouth stuffed all the time, because half of you are always dumb as rocks. Why would they do it after, dummy? They can't have dead bodies and blood everywhere and have us walking around in it."

You whimper at the degradation and cruel words, your brain going fuzzy at the salty taste of his digit around your tongue and the mixture of praise in his words. He called you pretty, didn't he? Pretty but dumb... you don't know what to say, and so you slobber a bit as he pushes it deeper, struggling to accommodate it into your mouth.

Thanos, on the other hand, is so focused on your sweet little face and the way your eyes go glassy as you get his thumb wet, the soft motion of your tongue gliding over his thumb turning his brain into mush. And then, he can't take it anymore. He pulls it out of your mouth, slapping your face lightly to keep you present, because he can already start to see you spacing.

"Get on your knees." He says roughly, pushing at your shoulders to guide you down into a kneeling position, and you didn't have it in you to resist.

He grabbed a handful of your pretty hair into his fist, not caring about how long he'd have until it was time to leave. He was tired of the bullshit coming out of your mouth, tired of your big fucking eyes and the way you'd bat your lashes at him and pout without even realizing the effect you had on him, tired of the way you got him so hot and made his cock swell and twitch without trying.

Even now, you stared up at him almost reverently, your eyes confused and so fucking innocent. God. He could only dream of the look on your face when he blows a fat load of cream on it. The thought made him more hard.

He shoved your face into his bulge, the thin fabric of his tracksuit pants doing little to obscure the feeling. You gasped, little hands holding onto his legs to keep yourself steady as he pants, rubbing himself against your face. You had no idea what was happening, and so you shut your eyes, muffled protests leaving your lips.

"Oh my God, shut up." Thanos snapped, glaring down at you. "Shut your dumb fucking mouth."

You tried to pull your head away, and he scowled, yanking your head away from his clothed bulge and staring down at you.

"Take my pants off." He snapped, and your eyes widened. Swallowing thickly, you tried to stand up for yourself. "Bu-but there's people outside," You jumped as shooting went off on cue, and your gaze turned to the door, your heart pounding at what may be going on outside, but he tugged your hair, making you look up at him once more.

"W-we don't know how long we'll be in here, an-and th-" You hiccupped, looking up at the shiny camera pointing down at the two of you, but he interrupted. "I said shut up. What part of that did you not understand? You're lucky I don't tear your clothes off and give whoever's watching a show." He manhandled you so his back was to the camera, blocking you from view.

"There, happy?"

You whined, a little wary, but you knew this was the best you'd get. "Now take my pants off. And my boxers. Now." He snapped, and your throat burned, your mind reeling as you began to peel off his pants, letting them drop to the ground, while your fingers curled around his boxers, pausing at the sight of his bulge. Thick and fat, with dewy moisture collecting at the top, the clear liquid spilling out of the tip.

You gulped again, pulling his boxers down too, causing his fat length to hit your cheek faintly before it stood to attention. You stared at in disbelief. The mushroom head was an angry red, while the shaft itself was thick, veiny, and long, and curved slightly to the left.

He must have thought you were stalling, as he pushed your head forward again. "Stop wasting time, kid. Suck on it."

You frown at the nickname, and hesitate. The sheer size and girth of his cock intimidated you, and you look back up at him weakly. He groans, running a hand down his face.

"Don't tell me you've never sucked dick before."

Your lip wobbles, and you shake your head, lost for words. He scoffs and pushes your face right up to his cock. "Lick the balls first, then the shaft, and then the tip, then get as much as you can in your mouth and suck. It's not fucking hard, dummy. And don't scrape your teeth on it. Shit fucking hurts."

You look down at his plump balls, slowly lowering your head and shyly placing kitten licks on each of them, following his instructions. He grunts, dick twitching with interest at your motions, and he pushes your face more firmly into the sack to coax you to put more pressure on your tongue.

You oblige, licking slowly but steadily, and his eyes glaze a bit as he watches you look up at him for approval while you slowly and steadily lick up his shaft, making your way to his tip where you begin to focus your tongue, swirling it around the head and along the slit. He lets out short puffs of air as he watches you gulp down some of his precum, his head spinning.

You had seemed to have never done this before, but then you stare at him like that, and lick him with such precision that he stops to rethink his decision. He doesn't realize that he's started moaning and stopped being mean to you.

"F-fu-fuck... Ohhh..." Stifled moans leave his parted lips as his pupils blow wide, the sounds making you throb gently in your cotton panties.

"Ju-just like that, sh-sh...shit..." He gently pushes your head down so your mouth wraps around the whole tip of his cock, and his head lolls back as you slowly start to bob your head, drowsy pleasure overwhelming him.

He felt like such a virgin right now. Getting worked up over some silly girl blowing him like he hadn't done this a million times before. Maybe it was just because you were so goddamn pretty. The way your mouth looked stuffed with cock made him fucking crazy. It was so wet and warm inside, and you were sucking him in like you didn't want him to go anywhere. You had to have done this before.

Your tongue traces shyly over the veins on his cock, and you let out a soft gagging sound as his fat cock hits the back of your throat. You splutter a bit, drooling around the shaft as you wrap a tiny hand around the base, twisting and tugging gently. He keens, pulling you in further and shoving your mouth so deep that your nose is nearly up against the neat patch of hair above his cock. You let out a spluttering sound, your throat tightening on him as you gag and breathe in deeply through your nose, your head swimming and your vision blurring with tears.

"Nngh... mmmh... fuuuck," He chokes out. "Shit... ahhh... so fuckin'... good... su-suck me harder, cmon dummy." He groaned, his hips twitching forward involuntarily, seeking more of that incredible, wet heat engulfing his throbbing cock. The slick, suckling sounds filled the room, punctuated by Thanos' escalating panting breaths and garbled exclamations of bliss.

His chest heaved, muscles flexing beneath sweat-slicked skin as the pleasure built to a fever pitch. The man's eyes rolled back, only the whites visible as he lost himself in the mind-numbing ecstasy of the moment. "Fuck yeah...just... ahh... like that, gorgeous, use that m-mouth..." If he were coherent right now, he'd slap himself and try to shut up, but he can't. He guides your head into the rhythm he's set for you, listening to the sloppy, garbled sound of you sucking, and occasionally choking on his cock.

At this point, your pussy is soaked and clenched around nothing, light moans leaving your own lips. the vibrations make him tremble, and he nearly stumbles backwards with how good this is. He can't even imagine what your pussy would do to him if your mouth was this good.

The sloppy sounds build in speed as he moves your head faster, loud wails leaving his mouth as he ignores the commotion of the cleaning process going on outside the room. "Ohhh god, I can't... baby... ngh... I'm gonna fuckin' lose it..." Thanos gasped out, his words spilling out in a frantic, babbled rush as he clawed desperately at your hair, trying to hold on to the last threads of his rapidly unraveling control. 

Thanos panted out between gasping breaths, his voice tight with desperation as he felt the telltale tingling rising from the pit of his stomach. His grip on your hair tightened, fingers curling and uncurling erratically as he struggled to hold back the impending avalanche of ecstasy threatening to crash over him at any moment.

"Ahh... fuck... it's too much... too fuckin' good..." he whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he tried valiantly to stave off the inevitable. With the last dregs of his rapidly fading willpower, he managed to tug at your hair, reluctantly pulling your mouth off his throbbing, pulsing cock with a slick pop. It bobbed obscenely in the cool air, flushed a deep, angry red and leaking copiously as it strained towards its release.

"G-god... unh... I'm gonna... can't hold it... please..." he begged, his tone a desperate, pleading whine. "stroke me... jerk my fuckin' cock... make me cum, g-goddamnit..." His hips jerked spastically, the head of his cock brushing almost painfully against your cheek, smearing slick across the soft skin.

With trembling hands, you grasped his throbbing shaft, feeling it pulse and twitch in your grip. You could feel the heat radiating off it, like a live wire crackling with electricity. Thanos shuddered and let out a strangled moan as you began to stroke him, your soft hand gliding up and down his rock hard length.

Two, three, four firm pumps of your fist and he was done for. "ohfuckohfucko-oohhhh fuck..." His cock jerked and spasmed wildly in your grip before erupting, hot, thick ropes of cum painting your flushed face and gasping open mouth. Ropes of it, slick and sticky, splattering across your forehead, your cheeks, your chin, dripping down your neck and onto your tracksuit jacket.

Thanos could only stare in disbelief as his heart pounds wildly in his chest, hitting his ribs hard as a lithe tongue darting out, its pink tip peeking from between those sweet, cum-glossed lips to lap up the scintillating evidence of his pleasure.

You bring your fingers up to your face, swiping a glob of cum from your cheek to taste it, the salty, slightly nutty flavor pleasant on your tongue. Thanos felt his spent cock give a feeble twitch at the erotic juxtaposition of purity and depravity, his mind reeling at the staggering beauty of the vision before him.

The contrast of such a lewd act on such a sweet, angelic face nearly undid him all over again.

"No… way…" he breathed out, shaking his head in awe and amazement at the erotic spectacle before him. "Fuck… you're… so fuckin' cute…"

Blushing at the praise, you help him back into his pants while you clean off your face with your sleeve, taking off your jacket and tying it around your waist while he hovers over you, his mind a mess. He grabs your arm just as its time to leave, and he grabs your face in his big hands, pressing his lips firmly to yours.

You let out a shaky moan, little hands holding onto his jacket in tight fists while he slides his tongue into your mouth, moaning as he swirls his tongue around yours greedily and swallowing your taste like a man starved.

He pulls away with a soft pop, strings of saliva connecting your tongues as you look at each other with half lidded eyes. He's sure to hold your hand tightly as you unlock the door and leave the room together.

[yzzart]

YOU'RE RULING THE WAY THAT I MOVE... ── KENJI SATO

── summary: Kenji was insatiable, they say.

── content warnings: F!reader, 18+, nsfw, fiance!kenji, oral (f!receiving), finger marks, petnames, dirty talk, explicit words, explicit content.

── word count: 1.206!

Oh, Kenji Sato was, unconditionally, insatiable. — Perhaps, mentioned in countless reports and comments and rumors from journalists, a little voracious and avid. — Making it clear that he looked for satisfaction around him, wanting to end this thirst on the court.

Being one of the biggest, and best, baseball stars, he had the reason, and right, to cause this. — Everyone could agree, right?

But this feeling remained in his chest, covertly, off the court; of course, trying not to show it in the public eye. — There was a mixture of need and lack that only Sato could admit; poorly, dramatic.

Kenji felt hungry, needing to be close to you, causing any physical contact, wanting to enjoy every inch of your body; aspiring to press it around you. — He wants to feel, touch and delight you. — And that drove the young boy crazy.

At the same time that you drove him crazy, leaving Sato thirsty, greedy for your smell or just seeing your gaze against his, you also directed him to the light; being a guide on your troubled path. —Kenji was grateful, and, gods, as he was. — The possibly true meaning of walking through heaven and hell in one walk.

He was trapped, connected to you; always keeping, like a magnet, his strong, long arms around your waist, pressing himself against you or fitting his face into the crook of your neck, nudging his nose into the back of your neck. — Sometimes, his teeth run through your skin, a sensitive spot, marking the area and then kissing it; conveying a loving and ironic action when saying “sorry, my love”.

Also, Kenji remained, pleasantly, surrounded between your thighs and holding them, with such precision and rigidity, leaving, in the future, marks of his long fingers; unable to avoid the possessiveness that coursed through his veins. — Delighting, relishing in the taste of your pussy; keeping him even more addicted to you, being certified as a starving animal.

That mouth, so bold and sharp, that responded and argued everything that came to mind, in fact, was smeared with taste and pleasure; sucking, kissing your folds, incredibly wet and mixed with his saliva, in an unruly way. — Attacking your sensitive and pulsating clitoris, his tongue surrounding it with slow circles and tracing lines across the region. — Rarely threatening contact with his teeth.

The damned man knew how to torture you and thought it was funny, he had, unquestionably, a talent for it.

“Ken, holy shit…!” — The environment, unstable, dark and poorly lit by the small bands of light that came from the huge windows, covered by curtains, was filled with the moans and whimpers that came out of your beautiful, dirty mouth. — “Ngh!” — You choked, trying to breathe.

Kenji would like, would love, to live with his face between your thighs; he could forget about baseball, save the city from monsters, everything. — Everything to devour you.

“My little princess with that mouth…” — A pop, made by his mouth, when sucking one of your folds was exclaimed. — “…so dirty.” — Pretends false hurt along with a pout, quickly licks his lips. — "So good…"

Raising his shiny orbs of desire and lasciviousness, Kenji witnessed, or rather, enjoyed your dazed image, hazy of the purest pleasure you received, feeling in a cloud of delight. — The large t-shirt, which belonged to your fiencé, lifted up to your collarbone, showing off your perky breasts and your messy hair spread across the pillow. — A magnificent work of art, somewhat angelic, apollonian.

Your little face manifested the lost between lust and excitement, being a sight for Sato's eyes. — You looked wonderful, as always.

“You know, hmm…” — The heat of his tongue returned, moving, slowly, to your entrance, tasting, ambitious; Sato's name was begged, almost inaudible, landing in his ears. — “I would spend hours eating that pussy.” — He had already confessed to that filthy curse so many times, but that's not a complaint. — “Oh, but, you know, don’t you?” — He growled.

“Hm, hm…” — This was an attempt to state what I had heard. — “Ken, please…” — You didn’t know what, in fact, you were begging, you didn’t care about blurting out disconnected words and things; the older one raised his eyebrows, mocking you.

“Fuck, baby.” — Kenji exclaims, almost breathless, closing his eyes and tracing a line with his tongue to the small, quivering dot, focusing on it; impatiently, wanting to enjoy your orgasm. — "I know, i know." — He babbled, clicking his tongue and increasing the speed of his licks; distributing a messy, clumsy, obscene kiss to your pussy.

A scream, thin and tearful, with a melodic tone, and considered music for the player, broke free from your mouth. — Being caught off guard during the change of promptness. — Without delay, one of your hands fell on Sato's black hair, pulling it sharply. — And you swear you felt a dirty smile, then a giggle, which sent a wave of shock through you.

When you felt a hot, scorching sensation of pleasure and voluptuousness boiling in your stomach, accompanied by the impression of numbness dominating your extremely sensitive little spot, you knew you were close. — Kenji too. — Your chest burned, rose and fell, trying to regulate or catch a breath, and your back arched; whining, immorally, even more so for Ken.

Holding your thighs, feeling a mediocre courage in trying to close them, which were increasingly trembling, Kenji's hands slowly caressed them; wanting to reassure you. — The coldness of his engagement ring ran across your skin, giving you goose bumps. — From the movement made in his mouth, Ken had said something, but, covered with exultation, you was unable to understand; probably words of encouragement.

"Oh, Ken, Kenji...!" — You screamed, frantically, while miserably moving your hips against Kenji's mouth, warning him; even if there is no such need. — Understanding what was going on, a growl came out of the older man's mouth, maintaining his rhythm. — “I’m close, Ken…” — You cried, feeling tears invading your eyes.

Suddenly digging your nails into Sato's scalp, as tears, witnesses of desire, fall from your eyes, you cum in Kenji's mouth; deliciously releasing all your pleasure. — Your head resting on the pillow, your chest rising and falling under pure exhaustion. — Therefore, you continues to be devoured by your lover.

Kenji, by gently opening your thighs a little, gets drunk on your orgasm; persistently tasting, tasting and eating your pussy. — Now, unshakable and extremely high level of sensitivity. — The tongue cleaning, searching and not leaving any drop of your cum with his greed and thirst to be quenched.

You were being adored, worshiped —even ecstatically— and you appreciated it. — Sato never tired of making you feel this way.

“Please,” — As he start to pull away, Kenji lifts his head, to get a clear view of you, and the glow on his chin and mouth, caused by your cum and his saliva, sends butterflies to your stomach. . — "you're so perfect." — He murmured, stunned and swallowed dryly. — “I wanted to stay buried in your thighs, like, forever.”

Your hand, which was still between his locks, immediately messed them up; mercilessly finding his change in personality ridiculous. — Addressing a low "i love you” to him.

“Me too, love” — He took a deep breath. — “But, i’m serious.”

[errruvande]

WHAT WE DO IN THE TOILET

Pairing: Thanos (Choi Su-Bong) x Fem!Reader

Summery: what if you stumbled upon your fucking ex boyfriend in a squid game toilet?

Triggers: SMUT, oral (both receiving), fingering, a bit of a dirty talk

A/N: first squid game smut, second smut fic in almost 10 years from me 🫡 English is not my native, so please, bear with it if you find a mistake, cause I'd die from embarrassment

A/N #2: dialogue formatted like this said by Thanos in English

Word count: 4k

Once you gave yourself a word that you will never meet him again in your life. You'd been trying to support him through his, not to say the list, pretty feeble rapping career, keeping him hyped up when his new tracks didn't hit the numbers he hoped for yet again. It was before he started investing his money into the crypt. You were the first one to say that this cryptocurrency shit was definitely a scum, but Su-Bong couldn't care less to listen, he had too much fun getting the first money back, doubled in number.

"This is all scum, Su!.." you once rattled at him, seeing Su-Bong changing yet another thousands of won to that crypto shit.

"We're gonna be fucking rich can't you see, señorita???" He grabbed the multicolored cash in his hands, throwing the money up in the air like a confetti. "I'm gonna win this life, baby!"

You only rolled your eyes at him, grabbing one 5000 won bill and making your way out of the room. "I'll look at your dumb ass when you invest all of your stupid money in this and they'll fuck you up, señor."

Now, you wandered how low did he fall to appear in this fucking shit hole. How many layers of buttom did his smoked, stoned ass broke to land on that pile of cow shit. How much debts did he have now? Definitely more than you, but how much more? Though after hearing some players' debts, you thought of your own to be a mild inconvenience.

You saw his head popping out from the crowd, the tallest guy in the group, as he always has been, with his head glowing purple in the dull green room. Thanos. You only prayed for him to not notice you, cause above all else, you would not stress his pathetically comical attempts into being not only a rapper, that you've already learned to stomach, but a comedian.

You were led out of the room, up and up and up by the pink strais that looked as if it have been snatched straight out of the psych test picture. Once you were high enough, you were instructed to go though the huge, massive doors leading to the open playground.

You saw him clinging to the pretty girl immediately after all of the players entered the playground, it didn't really sting, but it tugged on something buried deep down beneath the layers of indifference you've grown throughout the last year and the half.

"Hey, señorita."

You turned your head instinctively on the word. It was your word. You didn't know why, but when Su-Bong called that random girl señorita, you felt that string snapping inside you, that definitely did sting. It stinged even more, when you saw Su-Bong getting all turned on when the girl sent him off, rolling her eyes in a sheer annoyance.

Fuck him. Fuck him. FUCK HIM

You shouldn't have felt anything. Not for him, not after all of this hardships of getting him off of your mind after you two broke up.

Somehow, the thoughts of your past relationships overstaffed your head, you were running and ceasing on autopilot while you brain suffered the memories of you and Su-Bong having the time of your lives.

You didn't register how you crossed the finish line, slithering further away from the doll through the panicking players right until you felt two big heavy palm on your shoulders. The heaviness that was too familiar, and the fingers that clawed your bones with such familiarity you haven't felt for far too long.

"Babe!" The loud shriek Su-Bong forced to come out sent shivers down your body. When you looked up at him, his face was gleaming as he was laughing and studying you head to toes. "My fucking Nebula baby is here, like damn bro we're gonna be unstoppable!"

"Don't fucking call me that..." You shook his hands off you, turning on the tips of your boots, trying to get closer to the pink soldiers standing next to the doors.

"Babe, don't you want to ask me how I've been?" Purplehead grabbed you by the wrist, motioning you to swirl back to face him once more. He bent untill he somewhat leveled to your height, his face perfectly positioned in front of yours, eyes on the same level. You hated to admit that he still was as handsome as you remembered, face so fuckable the only look at it made your stomach swirling.

"What point in asking if you're here?" You tried to maintain the annoyance, but felt your voice cracking just fairly a bit, which was enough to catch a sardonic smile on Su-Bong's face, right before the words settled in his head and his face tensed with thinking.

The metal dome covered the sunlight and the pink soldiers opened the doors, making all of the remaining players to walk back to the main room, dumbfounded. Some rat looking guy snatched Thanos from your side and walked him to their beds once you entered the room. Thank you, you thought, sighting out in relief.

From your bed you saw Su-Bong and this guy from across the room. The rat guy pointed in your direction vaguely, and Su-Bong almost punched him, you could read his expression saying "shut the fuck up, man". You spent a few more minutes staring mindlessly into Thanos' direction, not exactly registering what was going on in the room, but at once you thought that the effect of the pill he swallowed during the game wore off, the comic bravado wanished from Su-Bong's face as he stared equally mindlessly into the emptiness in front of him.

After the voting you all had a little meal prepared, it felt all too close to your heart with the school like lunch, as if they tried to put you all at ease. You saw Su-Bong starting a fight with that damn Coin man, the one you knew from Su-Bong's crypto problems, but it didn't take much time before the player 001 beat the shit out of him for interrupting the meal time.

You didn't quite recognize your own feelings seeing Su-Bong lying on the floor half dead as the man was having him in a chokehold, Thanos whimpering and squirming under him. You felt the corners of your mouth lifting in some manic rushing tide, but when the man finally stood up and you saw Su-Bong's face, corrupted with both fear and anger you suddenly felt pity for him. How miserable of you.

The night crippled in, but the slumber decided not to show you any signs of life. To be fair, you could find at least twenty more people who couldn't sleep that night, and well, you had more questions for those who could.

You jumped down from your bed and slowly walked towards the bathroom. It was when you have done all of your things and was splashing your face with the spring cold water you heard some muted grumbling over the wall.

"Fuck man, c'mon!"

You creeped out of the female toilet room, tiptoing to the male one, hearing the grumbles more clearly, as well as the slapping sounds. You opened the door only for a few inches, when you saw Thanos standing in front of the mirror with his pants lowered to his knees, trying to jerk off.

"Stupid fucking shit, just fucking work!" His low voice was on the verge of growling, he never looked as pathetic and lost as now, standing half naked, trying to bone his dick up. Having sex, or at the very least jerking off, was his second to favorite activity to relieve the stress. The first one was getting high as fuck.

"Stressful day, huh?" He jerked his head into your direction seeing you leaning on the doorframe, smile completely roasting him.

He gulped, looking at you, detecting your gaze that was focused on his slumber dick in his hand.

"My señorita, do you want to help?" The desperation and anger in his voice washed away as soon as he saw your mocking face. He he let go of his dick and took a step forward to you, shaking his legs in the air to free them from the pants. "You always knew how to get it going, my fucking love."

He wrapped his fingers around your wrists, tugging you closer untill your body was pressed fully to his, then he unclasped his palm and put one of his hands on the crook of your back, lowering it untill he was able to grab your ass cheek and squeeze it.

"Why should I?" You didn't move away, nor did you shake his hand off your ass, but you also moved your face to the side when he tried to kiss you. "There's a nice, pretty guy in that room, I'd rather fuck him."

You knew that stupid cunt had a rejection kink. The seconds you said those words you felt his dick starting hardening, pressing against your inner thigh.

Su-Bong chuckled lowly, his voice vibrating through your skin as his lips were in mere inches from your ear. "Cause you still fucking love me." He squeezed your ass harder, pressing you flat into his groin. "You know none of these suckers can outdone me in fucking, right? I'm a fucking hump legend."

Too miserably for you, he fucking was. You never met someone who fucked your better than Thanos did, especially when he was under the influence of his stupid pills. You hated it, the pills, but loved the ferocity with which he thrusted into you or eated you out untill he could feel your soul on his tounge when he was on the pills.

"C'mon, my señorita, I want you so bad, just suck my fucking dick, please."

You didn't even know why, but you gave in. Maybe because you didn't know if any of you would live to see another day, or cause you knew he had his pill again and the mere thought of what he could do to you made you shiver. Or maybe because his dick was already hard enough it could leave a bruise on your thigh if you had kept staying still like this for another minute.

You slithered your hand down between your bodies, finding his dick pressed to your leg, and carefully wrapped your fingers around it. Making just a few tugs, your ear felt arousingly hot from Su-Bong's slow breathing. When he got too comfortable with you jerking him off, you relocated your hand further down his shaft, barely touching his balls, as you lifted up on your tiptoes, brushing his ear with your lips.

"If I hear you calling other bitches señoritas, I'm gonna kill you myself." You heard him mewl pathetically into your shoulder as you squeezed your fingers around his balls, practically digging into them with your nails till Thanos hissed and digged his fingers into your ass cheek in return, surely leaving some nicely framed bruises on your skin.

"You gave this name to me," you pulled your hand with his balls in it to the side slightly, stretching the tender skin almost painfuy, winning the muffled whimper from Su-Bong, as he sucked hectically on your neck. "it's fucking mine to bear."

"Done, baby, you won't hear it." He wheezed into your shoulder bucking up his dick against your thigh. You laughed, the sound was barely a whisper tickling Su-Bong's ear, but boy did it make him shiver, biting the skin on your shoulder?

"Atta boy." You bit his earlobe and let go off his balls, hearing him growling into you as his balls got back to their rightful place.

Finally for him, your tore your body off his, feeling the stinging warmth where his fingers were nailed into your ass even after you tore his hand off it, and kneeled down, finding the eye contact with Thanos before even getting close to his dick. His eyes were reminding you of boba balls, just a huge black circles amidst the white eyeballs, he was so high on his pills it drew you crazy and made you feel wet between your legs.

"Make me cum, my señorita." Once you sat down on your knees, Thanos placed his hand on your head, sliding it down to your cheek and finally your chin, leaving the trail of goosebumps on your skin as he went.

You touched his dick with your finger, pressing it up to his belly and got closer to the shaft. Su-Bong saw your tounge swirling inside your mouth, and when you stuck it out completely soaked in saliva, he squeezed your chin with his fingers, tugging your face closer untill he felt the watery tip of your tongue touching the base of his dick and shivered, snickering lowly.

You pressed your tongue flat to his very base starting to slide your way up to the very tip of it, slowly and tormenting, hearing Thanos grunting though his teeth, his hand moving back to your nape, controlling your every move.

You were sliding up and down, rolling to the tip of your tongue and touching Thanos's dick just so lightly it sent waves of shivers down his body, and then rolling it back flat, polishing his shaft with your tongue.

"I missed that so much." Through the muffled whimpering Su-Bong almost moaned, tugging on your nape to make you lick him higher. "No one's sucking the way you do, babe, my fucking slut queen."

You couldn't still the smile forcing on your face. That one thing keeping the bond between you two - you both were each other's best fuckers. And that was such a huge problem. That wasn't something that's easy to get off your mind. Every man you had after Su-Bong was intrusively compared to him while being in you, and let's be honest, none of them had the high ground. Every time you were fucking someone, at some point your head started getting clouded. Su-Bong would have already made me cum twice.

And without wandering, you knew this sucker had the same problem having every single girl compared to you.

"You'll make me cum yes?" Thanos placed his free hand on your finger that was pressing his dick to his stomach and pulled it off, making his dick fall, bouncing up and down right next to your lips. "I'll pay you back, you won't be disappointed."

You knew you wouldn't. You were sitting on your knees, thighs squeezed together in an attempt to stop your lube running down as you looked up at Su-Bong, his wide stoned pupils studying every inch of your body, lips framed in a manic smile and purple hair catching the light of the lightbulbs sent another wave of swirling down your stomach. The things he would do to you...

You wrapped your palm around his shaft, directioning the tip of his dick into your mouth and started circling it with the tip of your tongue, barely touching it. You made a few circles clockwise, a few counterclockwise, you licked it up and down and left and right, hearing Thanos' breath became loose and rapid. While you were circling his head slowly, your hands were working up and down his shaft.

"I've dreamt about thi- fuck-..." He muttered, his hand jerked automatically, sticking you on his dick deeper. Thanos didn't give you the time to adjust, starting shoving his dick down your mouth, deep into the warm tender mouth of yours, feeling your tongue sliding flat on his shaft until he felt the tip of his dick pressing into the back of your throat, you gagging, spasming over his shaft, only making Thanos moan gutturally, watching your head bob a little with a rythm he controlled. "My fucking sweet paradise. Fu-uuck!"

You felt his precum sliding down your throat, almost tickling making your insides jolt, as you started loosing your breath. The bolt of panic shattered though your chest as you started gagging without any air in your lungs, but, at this point, your desire to finish Thanos dry made you collect yourself. You started breathing though your nose, letting him guide your head in a timing that was perfect for him. You would make him cum and he would eat you out afterwards.

You felt his finish was close enough, so you grabbed his balls again, squeezing them gently, tickling and caressing them with your fingers, feeling them hardening under your touch and his dick trembling in your mouth as Thanos let the guttural moan into the air, his dick spurting semen into your mouth, nearly choking you.

"My señorita." He took his dick out of your mouth, tilting your chin up to look up at him, wiping with his finger the mix of his own cum and your drool that was soaking through the corners of your lips. "That was so fucking hot"

The way you swallowed Thanos' seed maintaining the eye contact visibly brought shivers on him, it awakened something animalistic in him as he pulled you up by the chin untill you stood up firmly and kissed you, ravaging your mouth completely. His tongue wasn't waiting for invitation, he slide it between your lips and you opened your mouth instinctively, feeling how his tongue slid deeper into your mouth over your own. At this point, you could only whimper into his mouth, thighs pressed to each other in order to find at least a bit of satisfaction.

"Fuck!"

Your kiss was interrupted by the two voices down the hall, two male voices that were creeping closer to the toilet.

"Fuck babe!" Thanos rattled, grabbing you by your pants and tugging into the closest stall, closing the doors behind you shut. The adrenaline got into him, his pupils, thought you thought it's impossible, got even bigger, as he untied the laces on your pants and tugged I'd down, along with the panties. He bent just a bit, to be able to press his lips to the side of your face and whisper gravely, "you thought it's gonna stop me?" His hand slid down your body, forcing you to open your legs. "Fuck no."

And you felt two of his digits sliding into you roughly. He didn't give you a chance to gather your scattered thoughts together, or adjust to his fingers, when he curled them, one at a time, shoving then up your cunt.

Thanos growled softly into your ear, you didn't even grasp what was the reason of your airy moan - his fingers or his voice, vibrating though your skin, but with two people outside your stall you did your best to still your vocals, only letting the little weep escape your lips and then shutting them together in panic.

"Good fuck, good day, huh?" His voice sent goosebumps running down all over your body, making you squeeze your thighs around his hand, your hips volunteerly moving down on his fingers.

"Okay, children's games, done" Thanos said, suddenly making your cunt uncomfortably empty, greening down on you, his body, towering high over yours squeezed the little whimper out of you which you bit down, almost bloodying your lip. "Want it?" He snickered jittery before bringing his soaked fingers to your lips, sliding them lightly on your bottom. You lips fell open as on a command, but as soon as you craned your neck forward to embrace his digits with the warm hug of your lips, Thanos yanked his hand back, his fingers in his mouth now and sucked them viciously, testing you before sliding down to his knees.

For a second, you forgot about all the people in the toilet and slammed the wall of the stall with your flat palm, trying to redirect your frustration and agony out of your mouth to your hand, while Thanos was sliding his hands up your inner thighs, spreading them without any effort. He pressed his face to your pubic area and breathed you in vigorously before sighing out.

The proximity of his face to your cunt sent a tugging pulsation through your body, making you squirm on your toes, hips bucking up. You want to face fuck him untill his mad soaked in your cum, just as in old good times.

In a second, you put your free hand on his head, fingers threading through his purple hair. You tugged on his nape, angling his head up untill his chin was on your puffed, soaking wet folds, and you moaned though the bitten down lips.

"That's so fucking beautiful." He said as he lowered his head, sliding down your folds with his chin and slurped you for the all the miserable desires you had. He eated you vigorously, the sound of him sucking your lube messy, letting his drool drip down your thighs mixed with your wetness turned you dazzlingly dizzy. Thanos was rubbing his tongue flat up and down your clit, pulling it in and out of your tight hole, your walls clenching hectically desiring something more. Something bigger that just a tongue. It wrecked your insides. It warmed up your cunt and made you even wetter, and you tugged on Thanos' hair to tear him off you just to see how wet his face was, covered in your slime.

"Fuck..." Was the only thing you could moaned out, looking at his absolutely deranged smile and his tounge framing his glossy lips. Thanos' eyes were nothing but pupils, two black buttomless holes staring back at you with manic desire, the previously dried blood on his cheek got soggy again and was smeared all over his jaw. Damn, that stupid señorita girl from before died in from of him and now you fucked your man with her blood on his face and for fuck's sake that almost turned your insides upside down.

Thanos wrapped his palms around your wrist and freed his hair from your grasp, pressing your hands to the wall on the both sides of you. "Let me finish my meal, babe."

He fell back into your cunt, licking you dry and biting you clit just enough for it to teeter on a slightly painful side, making you wriggle, your ass catching on a wooden wall of the stall.

"Su-.." You caught your breath as a heat wave slammed down at your nether regions, curling your toes and fingers as Thanos kept slurping the juices your body rewarded him with for his work. "-Bong..." His name finally left your lips as you collapsed on his face, your feet too weak to hold your body up.

You barely registered how he snickered, one sound on his lips - lust. He pressed his lips back to your folds and slurped all of your cum at once, his tongue circling around your cunt gathering the juice.

"My señorita..." Thanos put his hands under your quivering thighs as his head appeared in front of yours. He kissed you roughly, letting you taste yourself from his tongue, salty and sweet. "I told you I'll pay you back."

He sat you down on a toilet, opening the door slightly enough to check if anyone was still there. No one.

"We live another day, babe, and I shove it up your cunt." Thanos looked at you, cupping his dick in his hand and smiling like a demented junkie he was. "Let's go, you first."

You tugged on your panties and pants, action was rather challenging with your whole body still trembling from your climax, and popped your head out of the stall. The path was clear. Walking out of the stall you threw the pants Su-Bong left laying on the floor under the sinks to him and was about to left the room, when he wrapped his hand around your waist, slamming your body into his. "Please, babe, don't die, cause I'll need it again." Su-Bong murmured into your ear before leaving a wet kiss on your neck.

You trotted back to your bed, people were still mostly sleeping. Barely making your way up, climbing the ladder to your bed, you sat, knees pressed to your chest, and watched Thanos walking jauntily across the dormitory. His fucking cheeky ass would absolutely run his mouth to his new friend when he wakes up, no chances Thanos would keep his tongue behind his teeth about having the blowjob of his life.

You clenched your jaw on the thought of it, but, ugh. That would be a problem for the future you. Now, you had to fall asleep with the warm pleasure between your thighs, praying for Su-Bong's name not to slip out of your lips in a dream.

Tags: @verdantsecretgardens @wintaemoonjen

[a-b-riddle]

Part 2

Can't stop thinking about reader finally cutting them loose.

For three days there was nothing but radio silence. In those three days you had told yourself that it was a grace period. Time for Simon to cool off and realize how much of a bastard he was for saying all those things he obviously didn't mean. Johnny coming back over with a bouquet of flowers and endless apologies and cuddles.

Simon didn't apologize for his harsh words.

Johnny didn't call you later, as promised.

For three days you jumped at every single notification, silently hoping it was one of them. Any of them.

But it wasn't.

And you, unfortunately, got the answer to the question you had been asking yourself for months.

Did they still want this?

The answer was clear.

You didn't let their unofficial dismissal get to you. You still had shit to do. A life to get on to. A book signing to go to.

Jesus.

A book signing. A book you wrote. A book that was being published and released the day of the expo. You weren't expecting a huge line because this was your debut novel, but with the help of some ARC readers who had took to social media, there had been a bit of a storm brewing.

You had listened to John when he had mentioned writing under an alias. Don't know how crazy people are out there. They'd do anything to get close to you, Dove. Just better to protect yourself where you can. You almost hated yourself for listening to him now. Now you would just have to keep writing under your pen name.

You were getting ready to close up shop early when your phone finally pinged.

Kyle.

Fuck.

Of course it was Kyle. The one who hadn't treated you like you were constantly bothering him. Not the one who made you feel guilty for agreeing to your arrangement. Nor was he the one who fucked you and left you. No. He was just the one who just wasn't there.

Maybe that was just as bad.

What are you up to today?

That was it. Almost two weeks of radio silence and that's all he had to say? It just added more evidence that you were making the right call in ending this now. It had already carried on for too long.

You had two things on your to-do list and you wouldn't let Kyle's sudden reappearance deter you.

E-mail the publisher back.

Change the locks.

You didn't have the strength to face them again. If they groveled, it would be too easy to take them back. One against four wasn't much of a fair fight. And if they didn't care to fight for you... you don't know if you could survive it. Coming face-to-face with the proof that it didn't bother them to give you up even though it was killing you.

No. Cutting it off completely was the best thing to do.

So you didn't respond.

You left Kyle's text unanswered as you e-mailed the publisher back that everything was set for your flight on tomorrow morning. You would spend Thursday adjusting to the time difference and Friday you would rest up before the expo this weekend. She assured you that you would need to rest up your writing hand. Whatever that means.

You left Kyle read as you closed up shop several hours earlier than usual. You needed to drop off the bank deposit before you started on task number two.

You didn't bothering responding to Johnny when he had texted you when you were leaving the hardware store, purchase in hand. Asking if you were free Friday. Promising dinner. 'In or out. Your choice.'

It was almost second nature when you got home to pull up your phone. Ready to text one of them to see which one of them could come over and help.

Fixing a leaky sink? Nothing Johnny hasn't seen before. Need help moving furniture? John won't mind when you change your several times on what should go where. Kyle would always come in with take out the moment you mentioned you were hungry and whenever you felt like going for a walk when it was a bit too late in the evening, Simon was the first to volunteer as your personal guard dog.

But asking them to come and change the very lock you planned on using to keep them out seemed... counter productive, if not downright petty.

You were almost done with the lock when your phone sounded off. Only this time it wasn't a text. Someone was calling you.

You almost faltered when John's name came on your screen.

Fuck.

That almost got you.

You almost answered it.

Almost.

You clicked on the 'Sorry, I can't talk right now. Options, before finishing up your work.

And just like that, you were done. No help needed. You had changed the lock. Even adding on a deadbolt. Replacing the flimsy chain Simon had taunted you about. If someone wanted to get in here, that wouldn't stop them.

Well, now you didn't need to hear it anymore.

Not that you would really hear it again...

Your flight was in twelve hours. Although that seemed an ample amount of time you hadn't even begun to pack. You had luckily narrowed your outfits down, but now was the task of folding it nicely into your suitcase rather than just stuffing it in there.

On my way. We need to talk.

It was too late for talking. Three days too late. Several months too late.

The last message sent was four weeks ago. A new Thai place had opened up close to your apartment that you were wanting to try. All of them had given you excuses.

Not my taste, Dove.

Cannae do it tonight. Next weekend? Next weekend didn't happen either.

I can do tomorrow. Kyle ended up bailing. You forget the excuse he used.

Simon hadn't even bothered to reply.

The final nail in the coffin of your relationship. Almost two years wasted with nothing, but a broken heart to show for it. And the worst part is, they had all chipped away at your heart, leaving you to deal with the final blow that would shatter it.

Im sorry. I can’t do this with you anymore. wish you all the best.

Your fingers made quick work in blocking their numbers. It was best. If they wanted to reach you, they couldn't. On the other side of the coin, if they didn't care to reply, you wouldn't spend countless hours crying over the fact that none of them had been affected the same way you had.

You would deal with getting them their belongings that they had left behind another time. You had big things, great things happening for you. You were cutting your loses. You were cutting them loose.

You just hoped you didn’t regret it.

[icemankazansky]

A Simple Guide to Not Being Afraid to Write Comments to Fic You Read

I've seen a lot of posts about the current state of fanfiction comments. Writers, especially writers who have been in fandom for a decade or more, are frustrated by the lack of comments, and have noticed a definite decline in comments (and all other forms of reader interaction) in the past ten years or so. Many readers feel daunted by the expectation of leaving comments, afraid they'll do something wrong. As a fandom old maid, the latter confused me for a while, until I realized that most of the people who feel that way probably have not been taught this form of communication.

But your loving fandom elders are here for you. Come along as your auntie tumblr user icemankazansky makes this shit easy.

The easiest way to think of fanfiction comment etiquette is to compare it to something you likely already know: Gift Receiving Etiquette.

Fanfiction began as largely a gift economy. And a lot of it still is! You'll see authors participate in exchanges like Yuletide and Id Pro Quo; those are ficswaps in which authors write for a specific person to specific prompts. And even outside that, fanfiction is not written for money; authors write and post it simply for the joy of creation and community with fellow fans. Fic is posted free for anyone to enjoy. Is that not a gift?

So. When you as a reader finish the chapter or story you're reading and you are faced with the comment box, try to follow the same etiquette you would when receiving a gift. (And even if you didn't love this gift and it's not your favorite gift ever, we already know that it's more useful than the products from your cousin's MLM that they're passing off as gifts, because you read the story. At the very least, it entertained you for the time you took to read it.)

The big rule of gift receiving etiquette is not to insult the person who gave you the gift, either directly or indirectly. That's it. Full stop.

I've been seeing a lot of comments lately that are just along the lines of, "Thank you for writing this story and sharing it with us." A+, top of the class, full marks, you're doing amazing. If you don't feel comfortable commenting on the story itself, that is perfect feedback. And that's the most basic way you respond to a gift, yes? Thank you for the gift. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for sharing.

Does this rule mean that you cannot say anything at all that might be negative about anything? No, absolutely not. What you want to avoid is saying something that is, at its core, a negative evaluation of the author or their work. Let's do some examples.

Character A's obliviousness about Character B's MASSIVE crush on them made me so frustrated! I was tearing my hair out internally screaming, "JUST LET HIM LOVE YOU."

✔️ Excellent comment! You're allowed to have all sorts of feelings about things that happen in the story, and in fact authors LOVE to hear about any emotions they made you feel. Yes, frustration is not a positive emotion, but the thing you are expressing frustration about is not the author themselves or their shortcomings.

Contrast that to:

I was really frustrated that it took you so long to post this chapter. The cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter had me tearing my hair out, and then you just left us hanging FOREVER!

❌ Nope! Here what you are expressing is frustration with the author and how fast they come out with new chapters. Imagine your sister buys you a gift for your birthday, but she isn't able to give it to you until the next week, and you respond with: "What took you so long?" I think Emily Post would frown on that.

Reframing

The way you say something and the point of view from which you give feedback can have a HUGE impact on the message you're sending. Let's take the last comment (the one about wanting an update) and see what happens when we reframe the same sentiment as a positive:

I was SO EXCITED to see that you updated this story! I have really been looking forward to seeing what happened after the cliffhanger in the last chapter.

✔️ Now it's not an insult. The author will be happy to know that you are happy to see new work from them.

This idea extends beyond the story itself: to the fandom, the characters, the pairing, the tropes, etc. Let's do some examples.

I looooove reading about these sexy boys SO IN LOVE even though the movie you're writing about is SOOOOO problematic.

❌ Nope! Assume that the author enjoys the canon, characters, pairing, etc. in the stories they write. This comment is insulting to the author because it basically says, "That thing you love is not great, and you should probably feel bad for liking it." Imagine your aunt gifts you a sweater from a popular retailer, and you respond with, "This is so cute, I love it! It's a shame that it was made in a sweatshop." Do you have a valid point about the canon or the retailer's business practices? You very well might. Is this the proper time and place to talk about it? Absolutely not.

Let's do a reframing exercise. You should be very careful about how you approach commenting negatively on anything in the story that appears in the tags list, but you can make it a compliment and good feedback if you have the right perspective. See the difference with these two approaches:

I kind of think frottage is disgusting, but I liked it in this story.

❌ Nope! You just told the author you think their kink is disgusting. That's like telling your poor aunt who is just trying to keep you warm this winter that she has awful taste in knitwear. Try again.

Frottage normally isn't my kink, but I love your other stories with this pairing, so I decided to give it a try, and I'm SOOOOO GLAD that I did! This story was 🔥🔥🔥

✔️ "This normally isn't my thing, but you made me expand my horizons!" Authors love to hear that. That's like telling your aunt, "I never thought this color looked good on me, but I look so cute in this sweater! I'm so glad you helped me step outside my comfort zone, because I'm the better for it."

thank u, next

The last thing I want to address is this new trend I've seen in commenting lately: placing an order. If your mom surprises you with new headphones, you don't respond with, "I wanted the white ones 🙁," or, "You should get me a new phone, too." It's easy to see why that isn't appropriate in a gifting situation, and it's also not appropriate when commenting on fanfiction.

Let's do some examples:

This fic was soooo cute, but it would have been a million times better if Character A had been with Character C instead of Character B.

❌ There are a few things going on here. Number one, you're telling your mom you wanted the white headphones, not the ones she actually bought you. You're also disparaging the A/B pairing that the author chose to write about, and as we discussed, we can assume that the author wrote the pairing because they liked it. Even if it's not their favorite and/or they also write A/C, they made a choice for this story to be A/B, and the comments section of a fic is not the place to question choices the author made in their own work.

You should write a story where Character Z who is not even in this story does [thing that is vaguely referenced in the B plot].

❌ "You should get me a new phone, too."

I want a sequel. 😞

❌ "Thank you, next!"

You can reframe this kind of sentiment if you are careful about it, and it's not all you say.

I really loved this story. I would be so interested to see these ideas explored further if you ever decide to write more in this universe.

✔️ Not "gimme." Not "more." This is, "If you build it, I will come." It is a HUGE difference.

You already know how to do this. You know how to graciously accept a gift; just use that same etiquette, and boom! Now you know how to fearlessly write a comment to fic you read. You're doing amazing. Go forth and comment.

[steddiehyperfixation]

steve harrington's phone number

@steddiebingo prompt: van | 1.7k words | rated T

“Stupid- useless piece of shit!” Eddie barely manages to pull his coughing, spluttering van over to the side of the road before it chokes to a stop with a dying wheeze. “Fucking drama queen.” He gets out and gives the side of the van a good kick, chastizing it for its very loud and inconvenient death. 

Just his luck it would decide to break down here, on a nothing stretch of road several miles outside of town. Too far to walk but not all that long of a drive if his stupid car could’ve just toughed it out a little while longer. “You really couldn’t have held on for like ten more minutes?” he grumbles, kicking the van again. The van, of course, does not answer and remains quite dead. Eddie mutters a few more curses and pulls his jacket tighter around himself against the late November chill as he wanders around to the front of the car to pop the hood. 

It’s an entirely useless gesture, popping the hood. Even before he opens it he knows he’s still not going to have a single clue what’s broken or how to fix it. The inner workings of a car are utterly foreign to him, an alien language of metal and grease that he stupidly never cared to learn. He stares blankly at the incomprehensible jumble of machinery before him, cursing himself for all those times he’d evaded and complained his way out of Wayne’s attempts to teach him how to do his own auto repairs. His uncle’s boring handyman lessons would’ve really come in handy right now, if only he’d had the foresight to listen. 

With a huffed out sigh, Eddie slams the hood back down. He’s going to have to call someone.

Thankfully he can see a roadside payphone not too far off in the distance, about half a mile out maybe. He rummages through his pockets and paws around the front seat of the van for any spare change he could use. He’d just blown through most of the money he had on him at a record store in Indy, but he manages to scrounge up enough coins for one call. Just one. So he has to choose wisely. He starts his trudge to the payphone while he runs through a mental list of options, feeling increasingly frustrated and hopeless as he crosses each of them off one by one. 

A tow truck is too expensive. His uncle is at work. Half his friends can’t drive, and not a single one of them knows anything about cars anyways so they wouldn’t be much help beyond a ride home (and he’d really rather not have to just leave his van on the side of the road). He needs someone who’s free, can drive, and has enough of a working knowledge of cars to possibly be able to give his van enough of a second wind to make it home. 

Which is how he finds himself in a dingy little phone booth punching in Steve Harrington’s number - a number he’s never called before yet somehow memorized, recalling it clearly in his mind’s eye in the scrawl of Steve’s handwriting on notebook paper. 

“Harrington residence, Steve speaking,” Steve’s voice comes through the line, automatic and rehearsed.

“Okay, I’ll make fun of that weirdly formal greeting later,” Eddie decides, “but right now, uh- man, I really hate to do this, but do you happen to know anything about fixing cars?”

“Eddie, hey,” Steve sounds almost startled to hear from him. “Um, yeah, I mean, I’m no expert or anything, but I know enough to get by. Why?” 

“My van just broke down on my way back from the city and I was hoping you might be willing to do me a huge huge favor and come out here and see if you can help me get her started again.” Eddie puts all the desperation he can into his voice, which really isn’t hard. His distress is 100% genuine. “Please? I’m desperate here, Harrington. I’d be forever in your debt, I’ll-” 

“Okay,” Steve says before Eddie can start bargaining. So simply, so easily. He really wasn’t expecting it to be that easy.

“Okay?” 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll help you. Where are you?”  

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god- thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I owe you my life, seriously-” 

“Munson,” Steve cuts him off again, repeating his question, “where are you?” 

“Right, yeah.” Eddie gives his best approximation of where he is and Steve promises to be there as soon as he can before hanging up. Feeling a little bit lighter now, Eddie treks back to wait by his van.

The sun has just dipped below the horizon, streaking the sky with pink and gold, when Steve’s BMW pulls up and he steps out of the car bathed in the orange glow of sunset, looking every bit the rescuing angel. A dashing hero straight out of a fairytale; Eddie can almost picture him with a sword in his hands instead of a toolbox, a noble steed behind him instead of a car. 

He expresses only a satirized version of that sentiment, clasping his hands over his heart and gasping theatrically in greeting, “Harrington, my hero!” And he grins as Steve rolls his eyes in response. 

“Hi, Eddie.” Steve approaches, plunks his toolbox on the front of the van and leans against it. “You know, I’m surprised you called me. It didn’t seem like you were ever going to.” 

Eddie shrugs, hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I just- I couldn’t think of anyone else who’d be able to help me. I’m sorry if me calling you, like, freaked you out for a second there.” 

Steve’s eyes narrow and his head tilts like a confused puppy. “Why would you calling freak me out?” 

“Well, I mean, you only gave me your number in case something happened with the kids, right?” Eddie states. “So, I didn’t mean to make you worried at first that there might’ve been, like, a Dustin emergency or something.” 

“Oh…” A number of emotions flicker across Steve’s face as he seems to come to some sort of realization, and his expression ultimately settles on vaguely amused. “Right, yeah. Totally.” 

Now Eddie’s the one who’s confused, feeling like he’s missed a punchline. “Is that…not why you gave me your number?” It’s not like it had actually been explicitly stated, but they’d just been talking about the kids right before Steve had written his number down, so Eddie had just assumed that was the reason. 

“No, it-” Steve shakes his head and smiles, a little bit fond, a little bit like he’s still sharing some kind of inside joke with himself. “It’s not important right now,” he decides. “Let’s just figure out your van first, alright? What was going on with it before it broke down?” 

“Well, I don't actually know,” Eddie says, “but she was being very loud and dramatic about it.” 

“Huh, I’ve heard of pets developing similar personalities to their owners but I’ve never heard of cars doing it.” 

“Oh shut up.” 

Steve grins, pushing himself off the front of the car so he can open the hood and take a look. He immediately starts to tinker around with some stuff. Eddie has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, but he sure looks good doing it. There’s a cold breeze in the air, getting colder by the minute with the slowly darkening sky, but something about watching Steve’s arms as he works a wrench into the machinery has Eddie feeling strangely warm. 

Steve’s talking, probably trying to explain what he’s doing or what’s wrong with the van, though Eddie’s not catching a word of it. He couldn’t pay attention even if he tried, and not just because he’s distracted by Steve’s arms. The other half of his mind is still stubbornly stuck on the whole thing about Steve’s number, racking his brain trying to figure out why the hell else he would’ve given it to him. 

He spends way too long replaying that moment, and all their previous and subsequent interactions, over and over again in his head before his memory finally starts to give notice to all Steve’s lingering glances, subtle once-overs, and suggestive smirks.

“Holy shit, you were flirting with me!” Eddie blurts out the realization as soon as it hits him. “When you gave me your number - you were trying to hit on me!”

Steve, who had been interrupted mid sentence, barks out a laugh. “Now he gets it,” he teases as he glances over at Eddie. “You know, I couldn't figure you out for a while. All this time you never called but would still say hi to me when I picked the kids up from Hellfire, I figured it was some sort of soft rejection. But you really were just completely oblivious, huh?” 

“No yeah, I just have fucking rocks for brains apparently,” Eddie says, shaking his head self-deprecatingly as he rushes to reassure him, “I was definitely not rejecting you. Definitely, definitely not. Believe me, if I’d’ve known- I would’ve called so fast, man. I mean, trust me, your phone would’ve never stopped ringing.” 

“Good to know.” Steve smiles, his eyes so golden and warm in the dusk it almost seems as if the sun is on its way back up. He returns his attention to the van, just for half a second to give the machinery one last tweak, and then he straightens and closes the hood, wiping the car grease from his hands off on his jeans as he announces, “Well, your car should start now, if you wanna test it out and make sure. And then we can, uh, continue this conversation?” 

Eddie nods, hops back in the van, and turns his key in the ignition. It rumbles to life, and he lets out a laugh like a cheer. “You’re a goddamn miracle worker, Stevie!” he shouts.

“Glad I could help,” Steve calls back proudly. 

Eddie revels in the sound of his not-dead van for a moment longer before he takes a deep breath, turns off the engine, and jumps out to stand in front of Steve again. “So.” 

“So.” 

There’s a brief beat of buzzing silence. Eddie finds he doesn’t have all that much left to say, and he’s feeling far too giddy right now to be able to stand through some sappy discussion about how they feel about each other when it’s entirely unnecessary. He suggests instead, “Do you wanna just skip the conversation and go make out in the back of my van?” 

Steve grins at him. “Absolutely.” 

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

Part 6: Where…?

The first thing out of your mouth when you wake is a low, discontent groan as your hands fist the blankets around you. Your head and eyes throb. For a good several minutes, you remain completely still - no motivation to move from your semi-comfortable position. You really can’t drink like you used to, huh?

Eventually you work up the courage to crack your eyes open. At least the curtains are closed. The room takes a minute to focus, and the first thing you notice are the incorrectly colored sheets - lacking the usual floral print. You frown, grunting as you sit up. The second thing you notice is the t-shirt and sweatpants you’re currently wearing - not yours and easily a couple sizes too big. They have to belong to someone wide and tall to not be fitted on you. You don’t remember going home with anyone…

You take a moment to look around. It’s a decently sized room with minimal decor. A few art prints line the walls and the closet is in perfect order - separated by type and color. Though, most of it appears to be black. The bed is huge. Tall, too, you realize as you slowly slip your way out of it, nearly tripping on the long fabric of the sweatpants you’ve been dressed in. Glancing at yourself in the small mirror on the wall, you realize your makeup is gone and your hair is braided. There’s a dark wooden dresser and a matching desk with a laptop and sketchbook neatly placed on top. You wander over nosily, squinting down at the book. Oh shit! Oh shit, that’s Simon’s sketchbook. You’d recognize that collection of skull pattered stickers anywhere.

The sound of clinking pans and the scent of bacon slowly registers. Did… did you somehow end up going home with him? There’s no way, right? You remember asking him to dance, you remember him being surprisingly good and… and… that’s about it. On top of the dresser is your outfit from the night before, neatly folded with your bra tucked underneath. Your face heats and you cover your chest.

After a quick self inspection (and a nervous check for condoms in the trash) you decide you’re pretty sure you didn’t fuck anyone. Probably. Hopefully. What happens if you did? Would Simon tell John? Should you tell John? Will it make things awkward? Will he fire you? Oh, you really don’t want to lose this job. It’s the best you’ve ever had and you really, truly love all your boys so much. You press the heels of your hands into your eyes both to soothe the ache in them and to bite back tears.

You’ve always been such a stupid girl.

After giving yourself a few minutes to sit on the bed and properly freak out, flapping your hands in an attempt to get that nervous energy out of your system, you decide it’s time to face the music.

You slip your bralette back on before slowly cracking open the bedroom door. The short hall is mostly shadowed, lights off and the sun drifting in from what you assume is the living room. The door across from you is closed and to your left is a rather nice, spotless bathroom.

You peak your head out into the living room. It’s large and open, flowing into the kitchen as hardwood becomes tile and an island with stools between the two. Simon is the source of the clinking, apparently, moving around the stove like it’s second nature. You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised he can cook - he’s a grown man - but there’s something about the way he arranges the plates, the from-scratch ingredients, that tells you he does actively enjoys it.

It’s cute.

Johnny and Kyle sit on a well loved couch just a few feet from you, both focused on some TV show you don’t recognize. A slow frown forms on your face, turning into shock as the door beside you opens. You nearly jump out of your skin as John appears beside you in a robe and plaid pajama pants.

A soft smile splits his face. “Mornin’, dove.”

“Och, she’s awake!” Johnny grins, throwing an arm over the back of the couch as he turns to face you.

You blink dumbly, head pounding and gut churning as you step closer to stand beside the couch. Without thinking you blurt, “You all… live together?”

“Course.” Kyle pipes up, looking at you as well. As if you were supposed to have known that already.

You melt to the floor in a hungover heap. “Oh, thank god!”

Johnny laughs. “Why thank god?”

“I was so scared I did something stupid…” Your voice cracks as you press your cheek to the cool hardwood. You didn’t fuck anyone, you didn’t embarrass yourself, you were simply taken care of. The relief alone almost makes you want to cry. Though, that’s probably the hangover more than anything.

“Oh, love.” Kyle reaches down to soothe a hand over your hair. “We wouldn’t have done anything like that, yeah?”

You nod.

“Sorry it scared you.” John murmurs, crouching to set a mug of coffee on the floor beside your head. “We didn’t feel comfortable sendin’ y’home alone.”

You nod again, slowly pushing yourself up to grab the mug. The bitter taste of black coffee makes you cringe, but it wakes your system up and seems to push your hangover down to a tolerable level.

“I should go home…” You sigh, not moving a single muscle off the floor where you currently sit.

“Not before you eat somethin’.” Simon calls from the kitchen.

You take the opportunity to look around the living room. The sun has been mostly blocked out by barely cracked curtains. There’s a little bit of each of them in it - artwork scattered across the walls. A few photos - one of John and Simon that looks like the opening of the shop. The leather pride flag sticker stuck on what looks like a toolbox doesn’t escape your notice. Probably John’s. You’ve never seen another man with such well cared for boots and leather coats. Maybe that’s assumptive. There’s a game boy and a PS5 behind the 4K television. Your eyes follow the rather extensive sound system to a massive CD organizer. There’s a short hall on the opposite side of the apartment where you assume the other two rooms are. Everything is so… homey. Comfortable.

“Wait, who’s clothes are these?” You ask suddenly, staring down at the oversized t-shirt and tightly tied sweatpants that pool at your feet awkwardly.

“Mine.” Simon shrugs, setting a plate on the coffee table for you before handing two more off to Johnny and Kyle.

“Comfy.” You hum, eyes zeroing in on the large breakfast in front of you - plate piled high with bacon, sausage, and waffles.

“Ye can sit up here wit’ us.” Johnny pats the empty couch beside him.

You think for a moment before shaking your still aching head. “Don’t think I should stand up yet.”

The food is even better than it looks. For a Brit Simon actually knows how to handle his flavors.

You groan as a particular rough throb stabs at your temple. “I don’t remember drinking enough to be this hungover…”

“Johnny can be very convincing.” Simon rumbles, stabbing a piece of sausage.

“What do you remember?” Kyle leans forward a bit to reach for his coffee.

You shrug. “I remember dancing. That’s kind of where it stops.”

“At least you got to skip the part of the night where Johnny starts rantin’ about chemistry math.” Kyle rolls his eyes.

“Och! Ye love my chemistry talk! It’s the structure of the universe! It’s-“

“Yap yap yap.” Kyle opens and closes his hand in a mocking ‘blah blah blah’ motion.

Kyle helps Simon clean up. You try to insist to let you help as well, but they won’t hear of it. John offers to let you stay the day and sleep off your hangover but you shake your head, wanting nothing more than to take a burning hot shower in your own bathroom - as fun as hanging around with them all day sounds. So, you slip into Simon’s room to change back into your own clothes.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Kyle rest a hand on Simon’s lower back. A light touch, but solid. You don’t have the wherewithal to think about it.

You peel off Simon’s clothes and put yours back on with a wrinkled nose. There’s something so gross about it, not that you’re clean right now anyway. Thank god you had the foresight to not wear underwire. You order yourself a car on your mostly dead phone as you wander back out to the living room. Your skirt suddenly feels far too exposing for the daylight.

You chew your lip. “My driver’s five minutes out… so, I’ll see you guys Wednesday?”

“I’ll walk you down.” John grunts, pulling himself up out of the arm chair.

“Oh, you don’t have to-” You pause when he gives you that look you’ve come to recognize as ‘don’t argue, I’m doing it anyway.’

You give a round of goodbyes to the others who make no movement to get off the couch, fully sunken in. Johnny has sprawled over the L part of the couch with an arm over his eyes and a water bottle in hand.

“Thanks for letting me stay over. Sorry if I got too, uh, sloppy or whatever.” You murmur as the elevator makes for the lobby.

John chuckles. “No more than Johnny ever does. I’m glad you came. Lookin’ forward to the next one.”

You heart skips as you nod. “Me too.”

John leans forward just as your driver pulls up, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. Your back stiffens and your stomach flutters - face hot as he pulls away.

“See you at the shop.” He nods, sauntering back into the building like he didn’t just give you a heart attack.

Bonus:

“No, ye need an oil cleanser first.” Johnny slurs. “Tha’s how ye get the - hic - the makeup off.”

“Don’t act like I didn’t teach you everythin’ you know about skin care y’muppet.” Kyle snipes back as he digs through the drawers under the counter.

“Workin’ on yer John impersonation, I see.” Johnny snickers. Kyle bats at his arm.

You just giggle, seated on the toilet in Kyle and Johnny’s shared bathroom and swaying back and forth. Simon leans in the doorway, watching as the two drunkenly try to help you get your makeup off. All three of you bursting out into another fit of giggles when Kyle squeezes your round cheeks to make a fish face. It occurs to him that he’s never seen you bare faced. None of them have. Not that you come in everyday with a full beat but even so, there’s something intimate about it. To him, at least. Something about you perched in their apartment, in his clothes, having Johnny smudge moisturizer over your face while Kyle braids your hair to keep it from tangling overnight.

The three of you fit together so well…

John puts on a stupid action movie. Something to distract everyone as you wind down and sober up before bed. You snuggle up to Johnny, unsurprisingly, tucking yourself under his arm with your head on his chest. He’s practically Pavlov’d you into constantly touching each other. Just like he did with the rest of them. He jumps a bit when you press your socked feet to his thigh, humming comfortably. There’s a stupid grin plastered across your face.

“Alright, off to bed with you.” John chuckles as you snore comfortably on Johnny’s chest. The Scot is equally asleep, your chests rising and falling in an asynchronous rhythm. John loops his arms under your back and knees, just as strong as he’s always been, carefully cradling you against his chest as he takes you to Simon’s room.

Simon follows, glancing sideways at your clothes in his dresser. You groan as John lowers you but don’t wake up - well and truly passed out.

Simon pauses for a moment before following John out, staring down at you. He’s no better than the others, the alcohol numbing his inhibitions. So, he reaches down, and swipes a thumb over your slightly parted lips. Just as soft as he thought…

He settles into John’s bed, the frame creaking under their combined weight. Neither of them are particularly slight, after all.

“Glad y’danced tonight.” John mutters, reaching over to turn off his lamp.

Simon just grunts.

“She’s good for you.”

“She’s good for us.” He blurts, immediately wanting to shove the words back down his throat.

To his surprise, John just nods, turning to sling an arm over Simon’s waist. “She is.”

A/N: Thank you all so much for enjoying this series with me, it means a ton! I’m sorry I’m not very good at responding to replies/asks but I really do love and appreciate you all!

Hope you’re pumped for the next part bc I am

[elysianightsss]

AAAHHHHH! HI! So sorry to bother you, but I read the neurodivergent reader x 141 and AHHHHH I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING, DROOLING, CHEWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE they wont let me out

i have a little idea… how would poly 141 react when they find out your job isnt this cute barista or something along those lines, but just a regular stocking associate or a cashier for some huge corporation. like, they know you work. and every time you leave, they see you die a little on the inside from having to go to *insert shitty job*. They just didnt know that you were working there and now they are trying whatever they can to convince you to quote your job and stay home… i know i would rather stay home and take care of them than going to my job…

Oh anon I love your brain! As someone who used to be a cashier before I got my fucking wonderful, literally no joke amazing office job, I fuck with this. I’m writing them as roommates tho don’t know why just deal with it😘

It starts off with a debate over what time you get up in the mornings given how tired you seemed today. But then they realise, they don’t even know what you do for work. Johnny predicts that you’re one of those cute baristas in sweet little aprons with how good the flavoured coffees you make him in the morning when he’s back from his run, are.

Kyle can’t seem to fathom you’re not the office sweetheart he seems to picture you as. Though you’d been living with them for almost over a year now, the guys were gone before you left for work and back long after you arrived home. Still he had it in his head the whole time that you were putting on tight pencil skirts and heels in the morning before going off to work. Something he argues tooth and nail with Johnny about.

John scoffs hearing the guys argue, usually keeping out of it, but this time he can’t help himself when he interjects with, “Yer both chattin shit. She’s obviously a baker with those mouth watering pastries she makes us.” Now that opens up the argument further.

Simon is the only one who doesn’t speculate, instead he walks right up to you on a Sunday night as the guys are all readying themselves for bed and you’re making your lunch for tomorrow. “Luv.” He calls, you glance at him, eyes honing in on the way his grey sweatpants hang low on his hips. Dangerous, dangerous man.

Looking back to the fruit you were slicing, you hum in acknowledgment, “Wot’s ya job?”

You bite back the grin that fights to split your face in two, turning to him you see he visibly softens at your little smile, “I’m a cashier.” You answer, ears tinging red a little. In all honesty you were embarrassed that you worked for one of those big corporations. The dreams you had once but were never able to reach are like a damp on your heart. Like a festering mould that only grows in the worst conditions.

Sometimes you enjoy the people, there are some nice ones that overcome the bad interactions. But everyday you pull on the trousers and trainers, and that itchy uniform top, you wish that a snowstorm would lock you inside the house. You pray to receive a call telling you not to come in due to a fire that started in the bakery. Your heart aches to be told you’re allowed to go home early even if you won’t be paid as much at the end of the month.

Simon hadn’t said much after you told him, his eyes darkened a little when he asked if you enjoyed it and you had answered swiftly and without hesitation; no.

Then suddenly, the guys are leaving for work a little later in the morning. The same time as you. John offering you a lift to work, Johnny making you coffee instead of the other way around, Kyle giving you one of his soft jackets so at least your arms will be comfortable even if your torso is covered in that itchy material.

Simon is the one who places his hand on your forehead and tuts beneath his black surgical mask. You scoff when Simon says he doesn’t think you should go in today, “I feel fine.” You counter with a frown, pushing his big paw away and shoving your feet into the uncomfortable trainers.

John stares down at them like they’ve offended him personally, “You own comfier shoes lass.” Johnny comments and Kyle nods in agreement.

“I have to wear them.” You say quietly wondering why they suddenly have such an interest in your work attire. Have to. Well, that just wasn’t acceptable. The guys didn’t think you should have to do anything.

The weekends were a little weird too. You would usually cook them meals and sweet pastries or cakes with how hard they worked, they deserved nothing less. But Johnny is ushering you away from the kitchen when you walk past the dining table and the marble counter island to make him a coffee.

John says no thank you in the most strained way you’ve ever heard it when you offer to make him a sweet treat. He deflates even further into the sofa when you look offended at his decline. Kyle pulls you close to him on the other side of the couch, putting an arm around you, he continues reading his book but it’s out loud this time.

You sigh snuggling close to him, head on his shoulder when Simon brings over one of the many plushies you’d left on the floor of the lounge, again, and one of the many soft blankets you’d unnecessarily bought for the house. Maybe you could get used to this, you thought as your eyes started to blink slower. It had been a really long week, with lots of assholes. A week of sitting in that uncomfortable chair had done a number on your back too.

You’re just lucky that you’d said from the very beginning that you won’t work weekends, at least you could have those to yourself. The guys became even more attentive, not that they weren’t before, but it increased tenfold. And you wondered why.

Why Kyle is packing you a lunch box everyday now. Why Johnny is cuddling up to you at night just so you sleep warmer, better. Why John is willing to race away from very important paperwork to sit outside the big supermarket you worked at just so you didn’t have to take the bus home. Why Simon keeps buying you lush smelling soaps, bath salts and those sparkly bathbombs he knows you love, you have so many now you don’t know what to do with them. Even when you ask him to stop, he shakes his head and grunts out, “Baths are good for sore muscles.” And that’s all you get.

You just want to know why, what brought all of this on. And most of all why it all suddenly stops.

Almost like a calculated mission, like a big discussion had happened before hand. All of it stopped. They had left long before you got up for work, no lunch ready to go, no soft jacket waiting by the door, no cuddle reading sessions on the weekend, no more new bath stuff, no more lifts and an expectant look in John’s eyes when it gets to dinner time.

They’d done a total three sixty. Like they wanted to show you how good it could be with their help, how much easier life could be, going to work could be, only just to take it all away.

That’s exactly what their plan had been, Simon’s idea mostly with little suggestions made by the rest of them. They all executed it thoroughly, now all that’s left for them is to compete the final step.

“Doll I think you should quit your job.” John goes first, you frown excessively. What the hell is he talking about, you think.

“Have you gone mad?” You huff. John knows you’re annoyed with them, hell they all know you’re angry by their actions. But it’s a necessary evil.

“Not yet I don’t think,” John jokes and feels a little lighter when the corner of your lip quirks up slightly, “I am serious.” He says simply, his blue eyes burning into you before he walks away. You think it so odd, strange that he says that out of the blue.

And then Kyle says it too. Coming into your room with the same baby Yoda squishmallow Simon had placed in your lap two weeks ago, and the same blanket. He gestures towards your bed, it’s subtle but you nod. Failing to hide his grin, Kyle gets snuggled up under the blanket with you, your arms wrapped around the plushie.

He’s halfway through the book, hand brushing through your hair scratching at your scalp deliciously when he broaches the subject, “Bun?” You scrunch up your nose, blinking your eyes open to look at him accusingly. The sight makes him chuckle softly, you’re screaming with your eyes, how dare you make me open my eyes and be fully conscious.

He leans forward before he can stop himself and rubs his nose against yours sweetly, something he tells himself later was just to butter you up before talking. It wasn’t.

“I don’t think you should go to work anymore.” He says simply, with ease, his voice calm.

“What?” You blink rapidly waking yourself up fully to actually take in what he just said.

“Just something to think about bunny.” He shrugs and goes back to reading with that damn lulling voice. You don’t stop him, don’t interrupt but your mind is swirling the same way it had the day before when John had said something similar.

Johnny is not so tactful, shovelling his breakfast in his mouth. Half masticated bacon and scrambled eggs rolling around in his wide open trap, when he spits out the words. “Quit yer job lass, no one wants to be stackin shelves and scannin someone else’s shit all day.” He scoffs washing his food down with the caramel flavoured coffee you made him five minutes ago. He’s quick to put the plate in the sink and place a sloppy kiss on your cheek. His head bend slightly, eyes level with you, “Think about it pet.” He pats your cheek lightly and earns a much more harsh smack to the back of his head by Kyle on the way out of the house.

And finally Simon…well Simon…um Simon just did what he thought was best, what he thought was necessary, what he thought would get you to comply the quickest…

You pant harshly, fingers gripping onto the light bronde hair painfully hard, yanking with each stripe Simon licked up your cunt. You barely noticed John walking passed your open bedroom door with a smirk, Simon had his face buried so deep in your pussy it was hard to think, hard to conjure up your own name let alone open your eyes and catch Kyle and Johnny pushing your door open a little wider and watching for a moment before Kyle drags Johnny away.

Simon’s broken too many times to fix, crooked nose brushed against your clit wonderfully, tongue fucking into your quivering hole making you buck your hips desperate for the release he’d been denying you for around twenty minutes now.

“Say it.” Simon cooed, encouraging you gently. Shaking your head, teeth biting down on your lip, holding on as tightly to your words as you held onto Simon.

Simon grips your jaw in his big paw, a sharp look comes across his features as though he’s about to scold you when you meet his gaze, thumb rubbing your clit in tight, rough circles to keep the stimulation enough, to keep you there on the edge so he has you right where he wants you.

“Say it and you can cum.” He promises, your eyes widen, stinging harshly with their own promise of tears should you keep this up.

“b-but-“

“No buts. We’ll take of everything sweetheart, oll ya afta to do is write the resignation letter, then stay here as our pretty little housewife.” He kissed your clit before moving his thumb back in its place, circling slower this time. You gasp, a broken sob wrenching itself from your chest as your orgasm starts to slip away with the lack of stimulation.

“Please! Please Si! I-“

“Oll ya afta do is say it. Quit, find yourself a cute hobby, cook and clean for us a little. Oll ya afta do is say yes and I’ll let ya cum luv.” He grins evilly when you whine, blowing on your cunt before licking a hard long stripe from your puckered asshole to your swollen, throbbing clit.

“yes! please yes I’ll quit just pl-“

Simon doesn’t let you finish your plea, devouring your pussy like a man starved. He licks, sucks, and flicks your clit, slipping his thick fingers inside your clenching, empty hole thrusting them in and out doing his best to match the pace he set with his tongue on your clit.

You cum hard, untamed. Back arching uncomfortably, limbs shaking rigorously and Simon slurps up everything you give him. You lay there trying to catch your breath when Simon crawls up your body to hover over you. His eyes meet yours when he grins, “Good girl. Now why don’t we get started on that resignation letter hmm.” It wasn’t a question.

Safe to say you happily quit your job.

[erosiism]

𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐘 | yan!priest x male!reader | nsfw

WARNINGS: extremely dubious consent, graphic and explicit smut. please do not read if you are not comfortable, or if you are triggered. In no way is this disgusting yandere behavior meant to be romanticised. This excerpt is taken from my fic on wattpad, twisted faith.

PAIRING: yandere!priest x male reader

SCENARIO: after one too many attempts of rebelling against him, the priest (anton) decides to punish you.

WORD COUNT: 4.2k

You knew. You knew the minute you were brought to Anton's home — you knew the minute you were washed and fed by several maids, and was brought right before the priest.

A sickening part of you knew.

You had always wondered when. When Anton's obvious desire for you would finally break, when the final straw would be until Anton would take you

And now you stood right before him, washed—your hair still a little damp—robed, trembling.

Shit. It was about to happen. It was about to happen. It was—

You didn't know what to do. You were utterly terrified, utterly helpless.

"To first cleanse your sins," Father Anton said quietly—his hands resting on your back, tracing circles, "you must purify the body." The motion was smooth, gentle, supposed to be comforting, but instead all you felt was an unwanted heat traveling up your spine, along with deep seated dread. Thick, sludgy dread.

This was part of the plan, you thought, swallowing. This is part of my plan.

Someone had already warned you, had they not? That with the priest, he was looking for something else with you. Something deeper. Something akin to lust, akin to desire.

"Yes, Father Anton..." you whispered. You wanted to close your eyes, but you feared the consequences that came with it. Instead, your own trembling (e/c) eyes were forced to stare at pools of liquid diamond—the color that belonged to the priest's eyes.

"You want this, don't you?" Anton purred, "you want this. You admitted it yourself. You needed purifying. And now I shall give it to you. Everything. I will purify your heart, your soul, your body..."

First, your shoulder. You found breaths shallow and quiet when Anton used one finger to slowly undo your clothes, starting from a simple slip of the shoulder, until your collar bone was exposed.

Exposed, for the priest to see.

You no longer felt like it was you. Your mind was growing hazy, your body was responding to Anton's touch in such a way that you were horrified by it. You could feel his own unwanted arousal slowly burning your insides, and before you knew it, you were pressed down onto the cool sheets of the bed, stripped of your clothes—Adam and Eve once roamed the Garden of Eden in their naked form freely, you recalled, before the serpent made them sin.

Was this what Anton meant? To return to the roots of mankind, before sin had existed? 

It wasn't long before the priest started to undress himself, and you nearly wanted to kill yourself there and then when you saw just how—just how huge Anton was—because fuck, how the hell were you supposed to fit him inside?

You watched as Anton dipped his fingers in sweetly scented oil—perhaps even the liquid from a while back, in the confessions room—and coated it liberally on his own cock. The oil was costly, but perhaps, to Anton, there was no better purpose than to anoint one of heaven's own.

Fuck, you started to breathe heavily, feeling Anton's hands slowly grasping at your hips, his touch bruising, and lining his arousal up—you could feel it. Every inch of him.

Deep breaths. In and out...

"Ugh—" you let out a soft sound that was quickly muffled when you pressed your face down onto the pillow, ears burning with shame.

There was no greater pain and pleasure than this.

Anton pushed forward ruthlessly into your body. Anton did not stretch you out or give you advance warning. If the initial intrusion was painful, it was meant to be, as part of your penance. 

"Cleansing," Anton purred, his voice sending shudders running down your spine, "punishment. This, my dear Y/n, is divine punishment."

Fuck, you teared up as you gripped the sheets, yes. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps this was an atonement of your sins, your crimes towards your own humanity. Perhaps you deserved this for spitting such cruel, careless words at your sister, for showing his weaknesses so blindly to your friend...

"Anton," you gasped out,  the delicate flesh of your insides was battered and pried open by Anton's enormous girth, "I—I..."

Anton pressed into the hilt and then stopped, giving you time to adjust, and enjoying the trembling shudders of the bruised and violated muscles clenching around him.

"Give it all to me, turn everything over to the Lord and let me purge the sin from your flesh. Let me morph you; Y/n; let me purify you.”

"Slower," you begged him, tears starting to roll down your cheeks. You felt so utterly helpless—so pained, yet there was that deceitful pleasure crawling up in your insides, telling you this was what you wanted. This was what you asked for.

In a way, it was. In a viscerally twisted and distorted way...yes. You had planned this, did you not? You had orchestrated this plan to seduce the priest for your own survival, and you would fall down into the abyss with it.

There was no foreplay. Nothing. Nothing that could have told or prepared you of the pain that had shot up in your stomach—nothing that could have told you that you would be throbbing with pleasure, aching with sin. Your body felt filthy instead of pure, and the tears staining your face felt like they were burning. Anton kissed it all away—but that did nothing but to send feverish heat and silent hatred worming into your insides.

"Oh, Y/n," Anton cooed, his fingers trailing every inch of your skin, exploring every curve, every flat, "you were made for me. Made to be a vessel for me. You saved me, Y/n...you saved me."

Anton felt God would forgive the sin of his omission—after all, he was the closest being to godhood, and you were so beautiful and precious and pure. God's creation and the wonders of nature—from your mesmerising eyes, from how the arch of your back highlighted the delicate curve of your spine.

You made a strangled sound, biting back your moan that was about to slip past your lips. The pace remained brutal; relentless, and when you tried to grip on the sheets for some sort of stability to the madness, it failed. 

"Confessing," Anton whispered, "is something you were never good at. But perhaps this gives you clarity. Perhaps this will help." 

With suddenness, Anton stopped— instead, he pulled out, leaving your walls empty and clenching around for something. Just anything. Anton pressed one finger to the opening, almost like he was teasing you. Teasing you with inviting warmth, but not giving it to you. The priest was the one who reduced you to such a state, so how dare he? After stripping you of your innocence, claiming he would purify you…

You had never hated someone so much before. You hated him.

"C-Confess?" You managed to choke out, voice hoarse, "y-you want me to..."

Anton pressed the finger in deeper. More. You wanted more. It was not enough. 

"Confess, yes." Anton tilted his head, his other hand pressed against your shoulder, the touch firm and gentle. It was strange how he seemed to treat you like you were so precious, like you were made of glass, but then his actions would contradict and you would feel the lower part of your body searing with deep, hot pain.

Blood. You could feel it trickle down your leg.

Anton waited until your breathless pants slowed and then spoke, "You may begin."

Your voice was thick with tears as you spoke, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."

The priest's hips began a slow and steady pace, pressing in deeply and then pulling out until the head of his cock caught on the thinly stretched rim. It kissed it slowly, slowly pushing until half way inside. You let out a strangled gasp, sobbing. 

"Continue."

Oh, but how? You found it hard to find words scattered here and there, when your brain was a mush and you didn't even feel like you were you anymore. You weren’t yourself anymore—you weren’t innocent. Anton had ripped away any last remnants of sanity and purity that you had, claiming it for his own, marking you as a sinner. 

Y/n...Y/n...who were you even, now? The feeling of derealization pierced your chest. 

Anton's cock looked impossibly large as he pressed it against your gaping hole. It looked like it could split you open. You trembled from the stretch — you wanted more, in a horrible sense, and the only way you could get that was to atone. To confess all your sins to the greatest sinner in the world.

Your stunning (e/c) eyes went wet with tears, but it only made your submission sweeter and it only made the priest's cock throb harder as your body worked to accommodate him; flesh clinging and gripping deliciously as he pushed deeper with each second, but never quite hitting the end. 

It was a tease, a long drawn punishment.

Anton's hot gaze dropped so he could watch your belly bulge each time he entered you fully. The evidence of his physical penetration into you— his innocent, innocent savior—only made the dark feelings in his stomach swirl, twist, knot. 

"I'm sorry," you found yourself begging, "I'm sorry, Father Anton—I shouldn't have—I shouldn't have—"

I shouldn't have existed.

"I shouldn't have went outside the church walls," You sobbed, "I shouldn't have met anyone else, I shouldn't have—"

"Don't even say that." Anton's voice was serene yet so damned. "What else?"

"I shouldn't have murdered the man." You babbled on like your mind was shattered; broken beyond repair.

"I shouldn't have talked to her—"

You felt another sharp pain crawl up your spine when Anton rammed inside you. The priest's hands went to cover your mouth, stifling your moans that threatened to slip out.

"Ah, no," Anton whispered, his voice sultry and deep, "we can't have you making such noises, can we?"

"Just—just..." You felt the tears roll down your cheek, felt the way your chest heaved and your hips ached — all this felt too much; too overstimulated.

You released; arching your back and feeling your fingers grip on the sheets with reckless abandon. Your thoughts were pounding in your head and so was the slow, subsiding heat: what have I done? You thought with misery, with fuzziness and dazed eyes, what have I done?

Anton smiled and leaned forward.

"You have been purified."

The second time, it was because you had disobeyed him. You ran away — at least, you attempted to. But it had been foolish, and now you had to face the consequences of your actions. You willed your trembling form to straighten, choking down a sob.

“I’m sorry.”

"That's what I thought." Anton smiled in amusement. "Here I was praising you, darling," Anton tipped your chin up and you swallowed, fear started to flood within you. "But it seems that once again my trust in you has been misplaced."

"I'm sorry," you started to say—to beg—"don't put me back there. Don't!"

Fear rotted between your teeth and gave you that toothache feeling: the slow thudding of realization,  the slow ache of cavities worming into your insides, staining your mouth. The sweetness had been too much. Too painful. 

"I won't."

"...Then..."

What will you do? 

"It's been long since you were purified."

Inwardly you shattered once again. 

"Slow down," you gasped, feeling Anton's cock enter in, unrelenting, brutal, merciless—you dug your fingers into the expanse of his back, taking it down, causing a soft sigh to elicit from Anton. "Please," your voice took on a begging note. "Please."

Anton paused for a while. His fingers cupped your cheek, and his eyes were almost dazed with pleasure.. But they still held a certain maddening clarity that you were afraid of. 

"You wanted this, didn't you?" Anton tilted his head. You felt the cock inside you press further still, your walls squeezing it, your body welcoming it, with pleasure spilling in your gut. Unwanted pleasure. "You wanted this, darling. And so I give it to you."

How long had it been? The tears were running down your face but your body betrayed yourself. For there was your own answering arousal between your legs, the way your hips lifted and responded to Anton's fast, full thrusts, the way moans slipped off your mouth like nothing. You wiggled your body a little, squirming, trying to find a better position—but another ram into you, another buckle of your hips and a sharp cry—stopped you from being able to do so.

"Slower," you repeated once again— begging him, before Anton shoved his fingers down your throat, causing the yoo choke on your words. Saliva coated the priests's fingers but he did not seem to care. Kisses were planted on your bare form—the shoulders, the nose, the lips—Anton seemed satisfied, actually. More than that. Darkness was twisting in his eyes. Anton loved it—loved ravaging your, loved having sex with you. He pulled those fingers out and your mouth felt empty.

"You're doing such a good job," his voice was so gentle, so sweet—you could have cried. Yes, there was the constant pleasure in your body that Anton managed to induce—the kind of pleasure that made you yearn for more, the kind of pleasure that made you moan into the kisses that Anton provided, obscene and all, but oh, it betrayed your mind. "Continue on. You have barely managed to take me yet."

I'm disgusting, you wept, oh, someone save me. I'm so disgusted with myself. 

"I can't," you panted, your fists gripping the sheets. "Anton...I really can't."

The only answer was a push that pressed you flush against the bed. Anton's fingers wrapped around your jaw slowly and turned your face to the side, peppering kisses on it. It was a soothing gesture—Anton was marvelous at what he did. He would torture you mentally, sexually, but treat you like porcelain physically, treating you with such tenderness and gentleness at times that you werebdazed by it. And it worked now. 

"Good job, darling." Anton cooed, almost relishing in the soft moans that you were desperately trying to keep down your throat. You felt tears roll down your cheeks slowly, you felt the pain down there, swollen and overstimulated. You knew the sheets were stained with your earlier releases, and now would be what, the third? Fourth? Fifth? Anton was brutal in his pace.

How far had you fallen, already?

Behind Anton you could make out through your teary vision, a small cross. And now that cross taunted you. Watched you ws your purity was slipping away from you.

Tears rolled down your cheek, and you felt yourself slipping into darkness.

To feel anything would make you deranged.

After Anton had…purified you — you had scrubbed endlessly at your skin, hoping to remove any memory of him. But with that purification, also came a change of treatment. Anton grew gentler, kinder, and you grew more tired, more willing to be deceived.

Simply put, you didn’t know how to place your rage anymore: there was the rage  that was simply rotten, incurable love—there was the rage which were all the tainted truths and desires—and then there was the rage that was like a unanswered prayer, rattling in your mind, ricocheting off the walls. 

You had learnt a long time ago that your body betrayed your mind. That your mind betrayed your heart. You feared that you had grown to love Anton, in some sickening, undeniable way: but was that not inevitable? A human will crave fire, though deadly, in the light of cold. And in this case Anton had stripped you of everything you ever had, and now you were craving warmth.

And Anton. He was that very warmth. You wanted his embrace — you wanted it so desperately, the feeling of being loved, cared for, tender and sweet. After all, Anton had never hurt you before, did he? Everything earlier had been some sick farce, some disgusting aversion to all things good. But it was alright. You had learned your lesson.

You needed only Anton, and yet Anton seemed to withhold from sex,  like he was dragging it on. You wanted it carnally, biblically. You could feel the sins and evil swarming under the layer of your skin. You wanted it. You wanted to be made pure again, you wanted that sin purged from your flesh. You wanted it eviscerated. You wanted it to be painful, almost.

But as luck had it, Your  purification this time was not one of pain. Anton was always tender with you —but the purifications were always painful, rightfully so, as penance.

The sheets were soft and silky, as luxurious as you remembered. It was the same bed that you had laid in during your first time. Oh, how rebellious you had been. How unwilling. But now you are older, wiser. You knew to behave—you knew this was for your greater good. 

You have made life miserable for yourself. Why did you bother trying to resist? It had taken coaxing—and you had been so delightfully and wonderfully patient with you. Anton had already been so sweet even when you had been feisty and sharp-tongued, but the priest treated you with honeyed, saccharine sweetness. See, Anton seemed to tell him. See, you should have obeyed me earlier. This way, no one would have died. You could have carved out your own ending. 

And now Anton bit at your lip until you could only groan. Supple, strong hands removed whatever clothes you had on— you were kissed until you were lightheaded and breathless, until the only thought that remained was the priest. Anton, Anton, Anton—until those thoughts flooded your mind, strong and vicious.

The priest’s hands were warm as they trailed down your bare skin. You wanted to lean into the warmth: you wanted to tattoo it on your flesh, you wanted it imprinted, made permanent. You could have said that these desires were ignominious, even, humiliating, hideous. But you were no longer blind by the evil that had blinded you. This was good. This was good for you. You had utter faith in Anton.

Your feelings once had been raw and ambivalent. And now they carried on within you, strong, unwavering, comforting.

Anton pressed onto your chest, tapping at where your heart was. “This, Y/n,” Anton’s voice was heavy and commanding. “This belongs to me.”

You took a hitching breath, swallowing.

Anton moved to kiss your neck. “Only I can purge your sinful urges. And only I, my darling, can consecrate you. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” you whispered, “yes, I do.”

Anton smiled. His gaze was heavy, like his words: shadowed, dark, dangerous. It was clouded with haziness, and his arousal was pressed against your thighs, his arms spreading your legs apart. You whimpered, but offered no protest. Your muscles shook from the stretch, but you remained obedient. Sweet, darling lamb. Yes. You would be a sweet, darling, obedient, loving lamb. 

“You have been so good lately,” Anton purred, “and there are no more lies. You have changed—I was right, wasn’t I? Around you there was only a plethora of distractions. And now it’s just…” He pressed his forehead against yours.  “You and I. You have morphed, Y/n, you have become perfect.”

Hell was a man’s own creation, so was heaven. And you were a piece of heaven that had been carved out for himself. You were his, fully his — you were no longer anyone else’s. His, his, his.

Anton pressed his fingers against the wetness of your hole, slowly slipping into it. You gave a startled pant: where was it? Where was the pain you were expecting? This was no penance, this was—

“See,” Anton said softly, pressing further until you gave another strangled sound, breathier this time, when his fingers brushed against your prostate. “See, Y/n? Your sins have been absolved. By submitting yourself to me, there is no pain. No penance.”

“Please,” you panted—the fingers were not enough. Where were you? You were still so impure, so dirtied— you wanted it.The pained ecstasy. The purification. The Anointment. “Why won’t…why won’t you give it to me?”

Anton tilted his head, smiling. “I thought you wanted this. I remember you begging me last time: to be gentler, to be tender. What’s wrong, Y/n?”

You could not even place it in words. Breathless moans left as your throat when Anton pressed deeper still: you swallowed, before you shook his head. “I…don’t…know,” was all you managed to choke out, “I don’t know.”

“Hm,” Anton murmured. “Very well,” he brushed a loose strand of hair from your face. “you are loose, Y/n—you are so loose. Were you thinking about me? Were you waiting anxiously for this? Did you want this?”

“Yes, Anton,” you managed out in between your breaths, quick and dirty. “Yes.”

Anton pulled his fingers out abruptly, and you were left trembling. Your eyes were watery, almost: your back arched, your fingers fisted around the sheets. You almost caught your breath before you felt the same feeling again: the feeling you wanted, of origination and sin and purification—You could feel the delicate flesh battered and pried open again. You gave a soft moan—Anton pressed to the hilt, and thrusted. You started to scream—but it was of pained ecstasy.

It was nowhere as painful as the first time. This time was more mellow. Anton’s touch was bruising against your hips, leaving behind imprints of blue and black. The thrust pinched everything from you, all your breaths and your thoughts and all that horrifying, twisted doubt—all those reservations.

Anton continued. That same feeling plunged all the way up to your gut—it crushed your prostate entirely. You felt yourself start to release guttural, muffled sounds: you tried to swallow back your sobs, unable to discern between the wretched desire and pleasure that kept pulling, yanking at you—and the pain. Anton was still certainly gentler than last time. And this time round, Anton had prepared you. 

You screamed, your hands flying out to claw at Anton’s back. You could feel yourself nearing your first orgasm; so painful, so soon, and tears flowed freely down your fever red cheeks. Your hole stretched painfully around the girth of Anton’s cock—Anton continued this pace, but oh—he was so gentle with you.. It was almost like the priest was praising you. 

Good job, Anton seemed to be telling you, with the kisses peppered on your face, with the gentle, supple tugs of your hair whenever you started to wobble—good job. 

“You are doing so beautifully,” Anton cooed, “so, so well.”

You could barely think through the hazy pleasure. Anton set up a rhythm like this, Anton sliding out just right to see you clinging almost whorishly to his cock—then pressing, pushing, spreading you open with a force that made your throat raw from the obscene sounds you made. Anton’s voice was calm and soothing, low, almost menacing, a juxtaposition to the violence below. But it wasn’t his fault. Anton had wanted to be gentle, you had refused. You wanted the pain, it was your punishment. You would claw Anton’s back, Anton’s lips would capture your own with each cry you wanted to release. His kiss was always breathtaking—literally, in a sense that all coherent thoughts and all your breaths were ripped away from you; and then Anton would chew on your bottom lip, biting it, allowing a stream of crimson to bleed out.

“Anton,” you moaned out feverishly, “Anton.”

The priest continued to fuck you with a blind frenzy, eyes dark and hooded and the grip on your hips so tight—so that you wouldn’t dare to even crawl away. So that you wouldn’t even dream of it. So that you would remain pilant and soft and warm and obedient. 

“I’m sorry,” you started to say, your words punctuated by sobs, “I’m sorry I was so…”

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Punish me all you like. I deserved all of it. I deserved every single bit of it. Every inch. Everything. Everything Anton did—was it not what you were practically begging for? Anton had given you so many chances, but you had failed him each and every time. 

“There is nothing to apologize for,” His voice was calm and soothing, not matching the violence below. “You have repented. And that, Y/n, is the most important.”

Anton pushed again—and this time the sound you made was almost inhuman: when you finally, finally—felt the warmth flooding into you, when you finally felt your insides being filled, your sin being washed away. And you were filled so completely, so much of it that some spilled from your hole, that you felt like you were choking on it. You released at the same time—the electrifying heat spread all the way to the tips of your fingers, enveloping you whole, leaving you dazed and weightless from the ecstasy of it.

Anton kissed your tears away, and his face was one of pride when he touched your forehead gently.

“Good job,” Anton whispered, his voice lilting and insidious. “Good job, Y/n.”

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[sceletaflores]

where there’s sparks, there’s fire!

pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader

summary: you can’t tell if patrick hates you as much as you hate him. every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. but he’s only doing all that to piss you off. you think back to tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. you don’t see it. patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special.

—or: patrick zweig is a slut. you can't stand him.

word count: 4.6k

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y’all!), public sex (doing it in a coat closet lmao), more hate sex, swearing, fighting as foreplay, light choking, light hair pulling, degradation, even more hints of mean!reader cause i really do live for that shit, tashi and reader are cute besties always, porn with a little plot, no use of y/n.

author’s note: i originally wanted to post a tashi fic next but i realized i don't have any like actual full on plot filled patrick works lmao i felt bad neglecting him and my patrick girlies so yeah. once again had literally so much fun writing this, like i hardcore love this niche!!! i ride so hard for it!!! the tashi fic i'm working on also falls into this category lols and yes this is fourth of july themed and it's late shut up i cannot write fast for the life of me...anyway! to the anons who requested something like this, hope you love it! okay bye mwah xoxo.

Patrick Zweig is a huge slut.

Everyone knows that. He doesn't even go to Stanford but he's still somehow managed to sleep with a third of the girls on campus, maybe even more than a few guys too if the rumors going around are true.

You hate him. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. You loathe him. You despise him. You detest him. Pick any other fancy synonym, the point still stands. You just really fucking hate him.

It blows your mind that someone as sweet and angelic as Art would be best friends with someone like him. Someone who's so obnoxious, so arrogant, so crass. Art’s the guy that goes out of his way to protect you from the gross frat bros at parties, only to bring his very own as a plus one.

Sigma Nu throws a rager every year on the fourth, extending invites to those who are still in Stanford for the summer. The women’s tennis team is always invited, and Tashi always ends up convincing you to go. Well, she’s less convincing than she is more forcing you, but it’s basically the same thing to her anyway. She did your makeup and wrestled you into a Hollister dress, vowing to get you laid as she straightened your hair.

Tashi’s almost more invested in your sex life than you are, constantly hand-picking guys on campus for your consideration. She actually offered up Patrick once when you told her you wouldn’t fuck any of the guys on campus at all. The two of you were practicing, she suggested it as casual as ever while returning your serve. You were so shocked you stopped in your tracks, letting the ball fly right past you. She assured you she wouldn’t mind if you did, that what the two of them had was quote “Nothing serious, he’s just a really good fuck.” and that you should “Totally do it. He definitely wants to fuck you, I can tell.” 

You just brushed her off, ignored the way she smirked knowingly at you over the net. Your cheeks burned as you served again, you wrote it off as annoyance. As if you would ever let Patrick Zweig fuck you.

You lost Tashi when she took off to the bathroom, texting you that she’d be a while thanks to a long line outside the door. You were leaning against a wall nursing a half-empty cup of jungle juice when he came up to you. You can’t remember his name, you think it starts with a B. Something like Brandon? Or maybe Brian? One or the other.

He’s Sigma Nu’s secretary, you sit three seats down from him in your economics lecture. Tashi says he has a crush on you, and he’s nice for a frat guy but he’s definitely not your type. He’s been droning on about his upcoming trip to his family's summer house in Cabo for almost ten minutes. You try your best to seem interested, humming and nodding every couple seconds. You’re in the middle of tuning him out when a loud, familiar voice calls out your name. 

“There you are!” Patrick Zweig shouts from a few feet away, ugly American flag patterned flip flops smacking against the ground as he makes his way over to you. He’s wearing a bright red button down and white cargo shorts you scrunch your nose up at. He’s tanner than the last time you saw him, legs long and even more toned. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that pretty face.” He coos sweetly, his hand that isn't holding a bottle of Bud Light comes up to pinch your cheek.

You scoff, smacking his hand off your face. “You found me, so you can go bother someone else now,” you say, rubbing your cheek lightly. “Bye.” You press, waving your hand dismissively when he makes no move to walk away.

Patrick grins, unfazed by your reaction, he steps in even closer. “Yeah, I missed you too,” he says breezily, his breath smells like cheap beer and camel blues. He’s just as tall as you remember. He has tacky blue shutter shades resting on the top of his head. His eyes rake over your body shamelessly, lingering on the low dip of your neckline. “Cute dress.” 

You ignore him, rolling your eyes before turning your attention back towards Brandon/Brian. He’s silent now, eyes flicking between you and Patrick skeptically. “Are you like, together, or something?” 

You laugh loudly, quickly shaking your head ‘No’. Patrick beats you to speaking though, “God no, man.” he says through a laugh, dark curls bouncing as he shakes his head. “I came over here to warn you.” He continues, voice and expression going overly serious like he’s not talking out of his ass.

Brandon/Brian’s brows furrow, clearly confused. “Warn me?” he asks, head tilting to the left slightly. His puka shell necklace makes a small clicking sound as he moves. 

Patrick nods his head gravely, clapping his free hand down on Brandon/Brian's shoulder a little too roughly to be considered friendly, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll. “Yeah, best of luck trying to get inside that snatch, man.” he says earnestly, jerking his head in your direction. “Cause’ she’s really fucking picky–”

You whip your head in his direction to cut him off, grimacing in disgust. “You would say snatch, you sick fuck.” you snap, red solo cup crunching quietly in your hand. Patrick just laughs, dropping his hand from Brandon/Brian’s shoulder. Anger stews inside you the longer he looks at you with that stupid shit-eating smirk on his face. 

You can’t tell if Patrick hates you as much as you hate him. Every time you see him he’s constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. But he’s only doing all that to piss you off. You think back to Tashi telling you it’s obvious that he wants to fuck you. You don’t see it.

Patrick wants to fuck everyone, you’re not special. Sure, he may feel the constant need to be a horn-dog when he’s around you. That doesn’t mean anything. Patrick’s just gross, constantly making crude comments or lame innuendos. What Tashi fails to see is him making sex jokes around you is just another way he can piss you off. It’s not an open invitation into those god-awful shorts. 

Patrick takes a small step back, big hands raising in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Put the claws away,” You try to ignore the way him saying your name in that goddamn infuriating condescending tone makes your cheeks start heating up. Patrick leans his shoulder on the wall next to you, looking down at you with a small grin on his face. “I actually wanted to congratulate you on cracking the top twenty.” He takes a long sip of his beer, head lolling to the side lazily as he swallows. “Lucky number 14.”

You’re not too proud to admit that Patrick is kind of hot, especially in this lighting. He’s objectively a hot guy, and he knows it. All tall and firm looking even in his horrendous outfit. But he’s kind of cute too, in an ass-holey way. His hair's a mess of soft-looking black curls and his ears stick out from his head sort of endearingly. He’s close enough that you can see he’s got a little brown in his eyes, and long lashes. There’s a handful of freckles sprinkled over the bridge of his nose. 

His big, strong nose that looks like it could work wonders between your legs. Or at least that’s what you’ve heard from Jen in your chem lab. Maybe this jungle juice is stronger than you thought.

Patrick's smirk widens, wolfish and dirty like he can see what you’re thinking. “That’s pretty impressive.” he continues, his tone a mix of genuine admiration and teasing. "Especially for someone who's always so...busy." He lets the last word hang in the air, a clear innuendo that makes your blood boil all over again.

"Busy training," you snap back, not willing to let him get under your skin any more than he already has. "Some of us have actual work ethic, Patrick. We put in the hours on the court instead of fucking anything that breathes, you know? So we don’t look like idiots that get their ass handed to them on tour by nobody scrubs."

You can feel the heat start to simmer in your stomach, anger and frustration bubbling beneath the surface as Patrick's presence continues to grate on your nerves. The tension between you is thick, amplified by the chaotic energy of the party swirling around you. You see Brandon/Brian take a long, awkward sip of his beer as he steps away, turning on his heel to quickly disappear into the sea of bodies crowding the living room. You roll your eyes internally, pussy.

Patrick grins, not deterred in the slightest. “You’ve been keeping up with my matches?” His voice is low and pleased sounding, shiny green eyes slowly getting swallowed by the black of his pupils. 

You pause, owlishly blinking up at him in silence. You’ve been caught. Shit.

You can feel the immediate warmth of embarrassment burning hot on your cheeks as you cast your gaze to the floor. “Only when I need to cheer myself up, a losing streak that high is actually laughable.” You mutter to the floor, lightly swirling your drink in your cup. 

Patrick laughs loudly, throwing his head back in amusement. “Still thinking about me though.” he says matter-of-factly, a lazy grin taking over his face.

His audacity sends another wave of anger and embarrassment through you, your grip tightens around your cup. "Only because you make such a spectacle of yourself," you retort sharply. "It's hard not to notice when you're crashing and burning so publicly."

Patrick's grin doesn't falter. If anything, it widens. "I'll take what I can get from you," he says, his tone a blend of amusement and something else that you can't place. "But seriously, congratulations. You deserve it."

His unexpected sincerity throws you off, and for a moment, you don’t know how to respond. It's rare to see Patrick in a light that isn’t coated in sarcasm or sleaze. You catch a glimpse of something genuine in his expression, something that almost resembles respect, and it confuses you.

It confuses you, and it makes something warm start to burn in your stomach. You can’t afford to feel any warm, fuzzy feelings around a guy like Patrick, not if you don’t want to get majorly fucked over the second he gets bored of you. 

You don’t know how to react so you do what makes sense, you lash out.

“God, will you just fuck off and leave me alone Patrick,” you say, tone over-dramatic and long-suffering as you tip your head up to the ceiling in annoyance. “I’m trying to have fun.” A lie. The party kind of sucked compared to last years. You were planning on talking Tashi into leaving when she came back, but he didn’t need to know that.

Patrick’s cool exterior finally cracks, letting out a quiet huff of disbelief as a frown starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Jesus Christ, what the hell is your fucking problem? I’m being sincere.” The playful light in his eyes is gone, replaced by something darker.

You let out a loud laugh, shaking your head in amusement. “Maybe I’d believe that if you weren’t such an ass. I know you too well, Patrick.” You say, tone mean and condescending. You know he’s right, on some level, but that doesn’t stop you. 

Patrick is silent for a beat, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that makes you want to start squirming. He lets out a quiet, bitter laugh, bringing his beer up to his lips to take a long sip. You watch the way his throat moves as he swallows, the way his lips look wrapped around the neck of the bottle. You feel a familiar heat start to pool between your legs, thighs clenching involuntarily as your mind envisions something else his slick, pink lips would look good wrapped around. 

He drops the bottle to his side, finally breaking the silence. “You know, now I do believe you.” he says casually, swiping his tongue over his lips lazily. “You must really not be getting any dick acting like this much of an uptight bitch.”

You reel back in shock, his words hitting you like a punch in the gut. The wave of fury that sweeps through you is almost tangible, your vision narrowing to a tunnel that begins and ends with Patrick’s infuriatingly smug face. “What did you just say?” you ask completely taken aback, voice low and rough. Your hand twitches at your side with the need to throw your drink in his face, anger and embarrassment lapping white hot flames in your stomach. 

Patrick just scoffs, heated gaze not breaking from your own. “You heard me.” He says, jaw set stubbornly. “You need like, emergency dick, or something to chill the fuck out for once.” 

You feel your heart rate spike, your free hand clenching into a tight wrist by your side. “You’re a fucking pig.” your voice shakes with anger, you feel sweaty and hot all over. The heat swirling between your legs is persistent.

Patrick laughs, a loud and infuriating sound. “Come on, we both know you’re fucking begging for someone to give you what you need.” He says like it’s obvious, you clench your fist a little tighter. He takes a step closer, voice dropping down to a whisper meant just for you. “I can help you with that. I can fuck all that bratty shit right out of yo–”

You’re reacting before you can stop yourself, hand flying up to slap him hard across the face. The loud crack pierces through the room, loud enough that a few eyes turn in your direction. Patrick's head snaps to the side, the shades resting on the top of his head fly off. 

Your heart stops, hands shaking with the realization of what you just did. You expect Patrick to flip out, start shouting and threatening to sue you or whatever else it is that rich people do. Time seems to slow down as he turns his head, and when he looks back at you, there's no trace of anger in his eyes. Instead, they're dark with something else entirely— something that makes your stomach flip.

He licks his lips, a slow, deliberate motion, and then he laughs, a low, throaty sound that sends shivers down your spine. A clear hand print grows steadily, red and angry on his cheek. "Fuck." he breathes, his hazy eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat. 

You’re stuck staring at each other for what feels like hours, the music and chatter from the party reduced down to a low hum as you’re caught under Patrick’s heavy gaze.

He drops his beer bottle on the floor carelessly, hand shooting out to grab your wrist tightly and drag you away from the living room. Your cup falls from your grip, splashing down onto the hardwood in a red sticky mess. You fall into step behind him, letting him guide you into the hallway outside the living room before he lurches to a stop in front of a closed door, ripping it open and shoving you inside. Patrick follows quickly, closing the door behind him and bathing the coat closet in darkness. 

It’s a tiny closet, you’re pressed up against too many coats fighting for space on the tiny rack, kicking loose shoes around as you try to find your footing. “Patrick, I–” You start, but you're cut off by a strong hand gripping your forearm and whipping you around. Your back hits the door with a dull thud, you don’t have any time to react before his lips are on yours.

The kiss is the opposite of gentle, Patrick’s lips are almost violent as they move with yours. Your hands tangle in his soft hair, kissing back just as roughly. He hisses into your mouth as you twist the strands in your grip meanly, pressing you into the door harder. His tongue forces its way past your parted lips, claiming your mouth fiercely. He tastes like beer, his fingertips are rough and calloused on your skin, pulling you closer as if he wants to meld into you.

“If you don’t want this, say the word and I’ll stop right now.” He says against your lips, breathless and rumbly. His hands squeeze your hips reassuringly, his own version of sincerity softening the moment.

Yeah fucking right.

“Zweig,” you say slowly, yanking his hair roughly. “If you don’t shut up and fuck me in the next ten seconds, I’ll kill you.”

Patrick grins wildly, surging forward to connect your lips again. Your hands find the buttons of his shirt as the two of you kiss, working them open one by one until you get too frustrated and rip the two half-open sides apart. Buttons clatter onto the floor of the closet, Patrick groans into your mouth, breaking the kiss with a huff. “I liked that shirt, dick. You owe me twenty bucks.”

You’re not listening, eyes trained on the bare skin of his chest as everything seems to slow down for a second. Of course, you’ve seen Patrick shirtless before, when he’s on the court and it’s above ninety or when he’s taking up space in Art’s dorm. This feels different, a completely new situation where it’s actually okay for you to stare at the expanse of his torso. 

You can’t help reaching out to touch him again— running your greedy hands down his chest, his abs, the sharp ‘v’ cut of his hips that makes its way into the waistband of his shorts. Your manicured nails scratch through the dark hair of his happy trail, you can see the muscles in his stomach jump.

“Fuck,” you whisper breathlessly and immediately regret it. He was already insufferable— all you fucking needed was for him to know how you felt right now. How the sight of his barely undressed body is making your pussy soak through your panties.

Patrick doesn’t even gloat, just uses his tight grip on your hips to flip you so you’re pressing onto the door harshly. He impatiently yanks the skirt of your dress up, wasting no time in hooking a finger on the lace of your panties and moving the fabric to the side for easier access.

You hear him pop the button of his shorts open, his zipper following close behind. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” He says, sliding the thick tip of his cock through your slick lips, brushing himself against your entrance teasingly. “I’m gonna make you think twice about bitching me out ever again.” He seals his promise by grabbing your hair and yanking, causing a surprised whine to fall from your lips. His voice is so patronizing, but you aren’t getting mad like you should be. You’re just getting wetter, getting desperate with the need for him to get inside you right fucking now.

You grit your teeth in frustration, exhaling sharply through your nose. “I hate you.” You hiss, grinding back against his hard cock. You gasp raggedly as he starts to sink himself inside you, not stopping until his hips are flush against your ass. “Shit!” Your hands grip the door so hard you’re scared one of your nails will break. The stretch of him burns in the best way possible. You’d never say it out loud, not wanting to inflate his ego anymore than you probably already have, but he’s definitely the biggest cock you’ve taken. Almost porn-star big.

“I know.” He replies easily, hiking your thigh up with his hand as his hips start to pound mercilessly into the meat of your ass, not even giving you time to get used to the thick stretch of him. The loud smack of skin on skin fills the tiny closet easily, you hope to God the amount of clothes shoved in here somehow muffles the sound. The rough denim of his shorts scratches against your raw skin, adding to the sting of his hips.

Patrick was pounding into you in a way that makes you feel every inch of him. His cock felt impossibly big, filling you up like he was carving a place for himself inside of you. The sting in your pussy at the stretch of him is mind-numbing, you think you’d collapse from how hard your thighs were shaking if he wasn’t practically holding you up.

His big hand grips the sensitive skin of your inner thigh hard enough that it’ll probably be bruised by tomorrow. You distantly hope he’s high up enough that your tennis skirt will cover it, because if not it’ll be a hard thing to talk your way out of.

You throw your head back, a strained moan erupting from your lips. Your nails scratch at the paint on the door's edges, raking small lines down the wall. The loud squelch of your pussy’s overflowing wetness every time he sinks back inside you would be embarrassing if you had the mental capacity to care.

“Fuck yeah, keep making those slutty sounds, baby. Want the whole fucking party to hear how good I’m making you feel on this cock,” he mutters, hiking your leg up higher so he can pound into you deeper.

He drops your thigh, sliding his hand up your body and around your throat. You whine loudly, pushing back into his thrusts harder. Guys have tried the choking thing in the past, but Patrick’s hand is the only one that’s felt right. His long fingers curling around your throat like they belong there.

“Shit, fuck- don’t stop.” you mewl, lips parted in ecstasy. His hand squeezes a little tighter, not enough to cut off your breathing, just enough to get your eyes rolling back into your head as your pussy weeps around the thick length of his cock.

“That’s it, taking my fucking cock like you were made for it,” Patrick grates through a groan, gripping your hips and pulling out from your tight hole to spit on where his cock bumps up against your entrance before plunging back in.  You jolt at the extra wetness, whining at how dirty it is. “So fucking tight— does it hurt, baby?” he asks in a barely breathless voice, laughter edging his tone. “Is my fat cock hurting your tight little pussy?”

“God– shit, yes!” you sob loudly, cheek rubbing against the wood of the door as you nod your head frantically. “Hurts so fucking good.” You stop caring about inflating his ego, letting moans fall freely from your lips as you get closer to the edge.

“Fuck yeah, I’m gonna come,” he grunts, his rhythm growing sloppy and erratic as his muscles tense. He wraps your hair in his other hand, pulling hard enough to make your neck crane back awkwardly. He leans forward, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “I can feel you, fucking clenching up on me so tight,” he whispers, still pounding into you roughly. “I know you’re close. Do it. Come all over my cock like a slut.”

Patrick's hand tightens around your throat as he talks, cutting off your air for just a second. “Patrick!” Your voice sounds weak and strained, your hand coming up to wrap around his wrist desperately.

He pulls out abruptly, dropping your hair from his fist to frantically jerk his cock, burying his face in your neck. You can hear the lewd shlick shlick shlick of your wetness help his hand glide over the skin of his cock quickly. Patrick lets out a loud growl before you feel the sharp bite of his teeth sinking in where your shoulder meets your neck, muffling a loud groan of your name as he sprays hot come over the skin of your lower back and the swell of your ass. 

The feeling of Patrick’s hand wrapped around your throat as his come paints your skin has you catapulting over the edge. Eyes rolling back in your head as your convulsing pussy gushes wet over his spent cock. 

You drag in greedy lungfuls of air, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. “You came first.” You say breathlessly, voice scratchy and hushed. Patrick chuckles against your skin, swatting the tender flesh of your ass lightly. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He mutters half-heartedly, nuzzling his nose in your neck in a way that seems far too intimate for what the two of you just did. You don’t say anything.

Patrick eventually peels himself off your back, but the warmth of his body stays wrapped around you as he starts to gently wipe your skin clean. You’re ready to scold him for using some poor guy's coat as a come-rag, but when you turn your head to glare at him he’s using the inside of his own shirt. You wrinkle your nose, but a tiny smile fights its way onto your lips. So gross, you think with a sort of reluctant fondness.

He leans over to fix your panties back over your puffy, abused pussy. Your thighs continue to shake weakly as you try to stand on your own, still unsteady without Patrick holding you up. He gives you a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder, smacking his lips loudly. You huff out a tiny laugh, pushing away from the door to face him.

You watch him as he languidly gets re-dressed. He looks well-fucked, his hair and clothes are mess, his face is flushed and sweaty. Your eyes trail down to where he’s buttoning up his atrocious shorts. 

The fabric around the crotch is darkened with your release, wetness soaking the denim around the zipper and front pockets. You gawk at it, a mix of terror and excitement swirling through your stomach. “You can’t go back out like that.” you say to his shorts, shame burning your cheeks. 

Patrick follows your gaze down to his crotch. A pleased smirk plays on his lips when he looks back at you. “I’ll text you later.” Is all he says, zipping his fly and turning towards the door. 

“You don’t have my number.” You say, tugging the skirt of your dress down over your hips. You can slowly feel the horny fog leave your brain, leaving you clear-minded and a little panicked.

He cracks the door open, but before walking out of the closet he looks back at you over his shoulder. “Art’ll give me your number. “ He says casually with a small shrug of his shoulder. You suddenly feel sick, wondering how many other people have heard that line before getting completely ghosted. 

Patrick must see the negative thoughts running through your mind play out on your face. He gives you an actual smile, one that has his eyes crinkling up the tiniest bit at the corners. “Promise.” He says with a reassuring nod, it’s the most sincere you’ve ever seen him. You bite your lip to stop from smiling at the hope blooming in your stomach, nodding back at him slowly. He throws you one last toothy grin before he’s walking out and closing the door behind him.

You sigh contently, staring at the closed door for a few beats before your phone buzzes to life from where it's laying on the floor. You bend over to search for it, blindly rooting around until you see the tiny display light. The ringing stops before you can answer, when you flip the screen up to check your inbox you have seven missed texts and two missed calls.

Four texts and two calls from Art, and just three texts from Tashi.

arty where are you? i’ve been looking for you are you okay? hello???

tash you know you're not invisible right? everyone saw your little show have fun <3

tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!

mini a/n: yes i did change the title leave me lmao love you!

[oceanicwriting]

3 questions.

summary: theodore nott and you have always been rivals. dis you both decided that? no. the circumstances made you hate, and it only took one night away from all the pressures for you to see each other as you really are.

pairing(s): theodore nott x fem!reader

a/n: i thought this would be less serious, but it ended up being very serious... i hope you like it as much as i do! i genuinely think this is one of my favorites.

. . .

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at the ceiling of your room. you can hear the snoring and breathing of your roommates near your ears covered by the pillow. you had tried to sleep for hours, but you hadn't even managed to doze off on the soft mattress of the bed.

ㅤㅤㅤ in the middle of a sigh, you throw the sheets aside and dress the sweatshirt that hung on the desk chair. every time insomnia catches you in its clutches, you go to the same place, seeking shelter in the stars and the huge moon shining over the lake. you walk through the halls, careful not to get caught, arriving at the large astronomy tower minutes later.

ㅤㅤㅤ when your sleeping problems were present, you were always close to the final exams of the semester. between all the subjects you had to study, tutoring for classmates with problems in some subjects, recreational classes, and quidditch practices, it was impossible not to have serious problems controlling stress.

ㅤㅤㅤ and, on top of all that, there was him. theodore nott with his perfect grades. theodore nott with his scathing comments every time you receive a grade. theodore nott with that disinterested look that remains stuck in the back of your mind. it was impossible not to talk about him when the bubble of academic pressure was about to burst.

ㅤㅤㅤ you and theodore have known each other for years. your families are from the most renowned pureblood lines in the wizarding world, and even if they claimed to be good friends, they were always pushing their children's competition. you were only the ten in a long line of brothers, parents, uncles, or grandparents who had to compete. if theodore learned to play an instrument, you had to learn one. if theodore did a sport, you had to do one. if theodore did anything, you had to do the same.

ㅤㅤㅤ you were good at keeping up with your family's commands, or you were until this last year, where the weight of your effort began to hurt in every part of your body. your dream was to live off the art you could make with a frame and jars of paints, however, you knew that the honor of your name depended on the position you wanted to get in their precious company.

ㅤㅤㅤ you sigh, lighting a cigarette, as you rest on the railing.

ㅤㅤㅤ —don’t the stars look beautiful? —his voice makes your skin crawl, forcing you to turn around. he had arrived so silently that you were surprised to see him less than five steps away—. smoking on the astronomy tower? who would have thought?

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore has a half smile that makes you want to slam a fist into his face, and he thinks about how pathetic you looked in pajamas like that.

ㅤㅤㅤ —no more —you say, taking a drag of the cigarette and trying to walk away—. i’m out.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore laughs. the sound that escapes his lips does nothing but ignite a wave of confusion or rage that makes you freeze.

ㅤㅤㅤ —escaping. always escaping. —he approaches, leaning on the railing a few feet away from you—. we hate each other, i get it. do i hate that you're here when i want to be alone? a little. if you like coming here to think or some shit like that, i won't ask you to leave.

ㅤㅤㅤ you could have gone back to the bedroom with the intention of catching up on sleep in some other way, but there's a force that invites you to stay. is it because of the way his voice had challenged you? maybe. but in that place that had often accompanied you, were your greatest enemy, and yet, you remain four meters away.

ㅤㅤㅤ almost thirty minutes have passed, neither of you have said anything, and theodore had lit his own cigarette seconds after being on your third. you can notice that he smokes more slowly, holding it between his lips more delicately than your hurried hands. on the contrary, he sees that you smoke cigarettes after cigarettes with agonizing desperation.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke?

ㅤㅤㅤ —we’re not doing this —you answer, dismissing the question instantly.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore looks at you, raising his eyebrows and settling himself against the railing so he can see you better.

ㅤㅤㅤ the questions are simple. did theodore hate you? probably. did you hate theodore? yes. had you decided to hate each other? no. it’s clear that neither of you, from all that life of competition, had had the courage to get to know the rival beyond the heavy comments. both of you at some vulnerable moment had thought about what would happen if one day you decided to meet each other. really meet each other.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why are you always in such a bad mood? don’t you think it eats at your soul?

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh, pulling a new cigarette out of your pocket, reluctant to speak. theodore takes the liberty of throwing a spark that hits your hand and makes the cigarette slip through your fingers to fall into nothingness.

ㅤㅤㅤ —are you kidding me? —you question, looking at him with a frown. his smile has not left his lips at any moment, looking at you as if you were the most entertaining animal on the planet—. i thought we were going to pretend that neither of us were here.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it got boring having you here next to me without bothering you —he mumbles. you sigh, noticing that you have run out of things to smoke—. did you run out, stella?

ㅤㅤㅤ you don’t say anything at the nickname, avoiding theodore from noticing how irritated you are just minutes away from exchanging words. he digs into his pocket, extending his arm in your direction with a new cigarette between his fingers.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i can give you one of mine —he says.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, frowning and doubting his good faith.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what will you ask me in return?

ㅤㅤㅤ the truth is you had never seen him like this. most of the time together, you were as tense as two huge rocks full of hate, but now he looks so serene that it awakens an unknown interest inside you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —nothing, why would i want something? —he says, but as soon as you make the slightest attempt to approach him, he speaks again—. although yes, i want something. three questions or three answers. i ask one, and you ask another until we get to the third. isn’t that easy enough?

ㅤㅤㅤ questions? why would theodore nott want to ask you three questions? why is he looking for answers? and why were you thinking so hard to get one more cigarette? you knew that wanting a cigarette so desperately wasn't healthy. you were one hundred percent sure that you had a serious addiction problem and you wouldn't be able to change it for a long time.

ㅤㅤㅤ —okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore smiles, putting the cigarette in his pants pocket until it's time to give it to you. he looks up at the sky as if trying to think of his first question.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke?

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him with a raised eyebrow, causing a sarcastic smile to appear on his face. theodore had just discovered that the red on your cheeks increases with your obvious annoyance with him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —because i want to. —you both knew it was a lie, and you ignore his suggestive look, asking for more information—. my turn. shouldn’t you be with some girl on top of you?

ㅤㅤㅤ he takes a drag on his cigarette and looks in the direction of the darkened castle. there’s a hint of amusement in his gaze that makes you wonder what’s causing it.

ㅤㅤㅤ —nothing can assure you that i wasn’t with a woman before coming here. still, i’m impressed that’s the vision you have of me. a guy who sleeps with a new girl every weekend —he says, walking two steps closer to you—. honestly, it’s exam season, i’m not really interested in rolling around with other girls when i’m thinking about how to beat you.

ㅤㅤㅤ there’s a hint of remorse or sadness in his voice that repeats in the back of your mind. somehow, that makes your defenses go down, and you look at him carefully, taking advantage of his ignorance. how crazy would it be if right under his eyes there were three moles identical to the three marías?

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you smoke? —the confusion in your gaze is obvious, but theodore just stays there—. yes, that's my second question.

ㅤㅤㅤ you don't know if it's because his eyes are chained to yours or the tranquility that his whole body emanates as he takes two more steps closer to you, but you feel a wave of peace that only manages to make a series of answers travel to your mind. there were so many reasons, so many pains or ideas that you wanted to turn off.

ㅤㅤㅤ —because i hope that it frees me. i don't dislike it, but i don't like it either —you admit, smiling in the middle of a sigh—. i smoke because there's always something that haunts me, and i never know how to stop it.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore can see how your gaze falls to the ground, feeling ashamed of what you had just said. could he understand it? yes, of course he did. after all, he was just like you in many ways and had used the same self-destruction techniques for a long time.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him. you know he's waiting for your second question, but you haven't thought about it, and you dedicate yourself to observing the sky. the twinkling stars from blue to yellow tones, immense moon that looks like a toenail and shooting stars that disappear the second they travel.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why are you here? —you whisper, turning to see how his eyes shine.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore takes two more steps in your direction. every time he gets closer, you find some detail that interests you. moles in areas you had never noticed, spots from the light that stand out with the contrast of their paleness and scars with stories.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i couldn't sleep.

ㅤㅤㅤ —so you weren’t with a girl? —you ask, feeling your heart race as the words slip out without any thought.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you just used up your last question. —you frown, he steps closer, standing two steps away—. you asked three questions. so, it’s my turn.

ㅤㅤㅤ —what? no, that’s not...

ㅤㅤㅤ —you have no right to ask another question.

ㅤㅤㅤ you try to say something else, but theodore has a new air that leaves you completely silent. it’s unbearable.

ㅤㅤㅤ —and no. the answer to your question is no. i’m curious about your insistence, but i’m not going to waste my last question —he says, throwing his whistle to the ground—. why are we still fighting battles that aren’t ours to fight?

ㅤㅤㅤ your eyelashes flutter rapidly in bewilderment. you’re envious of how calm and carefree he is. why couldn’t you be like him? why did he seem to stop trying so hard a long time ago? why were you still trying so hard to catch up to him?

ㅤㅤㅤ —i’ll be honest with you. you don’t look like the worst person on the planet. you always look perfect, your friends adore you, and if i asked anyone, they’d say you’re an angel. why are we still fighting over something as stupid as our grades?

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore keeps staring at you, and you can’t think straight. there’s no honest thought in your head about your hatred. really none. you didn’t hate the girls who made fun of you during freshman year or your strict parents or grandparents. you didn't hate chocolate as much as you don't like its sweetness, much less smoking when you hate the smoke inside your mouth. why do you hate him?

ㅤㅤㅤ —it's been so many years, theodore. don't you think it's foolish to look back at this point?

ㅤㅤㅤ he shakes his head, smiling softly and looking out at the horizon.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it would be foolish to never have asked you. i hated you when i was little because you were always one step ahead of me. —you shake your head because it's not how you remember it—. don't look at me like that. we both know that, even though i managed to beat you in all those shitty activities our parents forced us to do, you always make my world tremble.

ㅤㅤㅤ his gaze is fixed on the horizon, avoiding crossing glances with you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i don't know how not to hate you. i grew up living in your shadow for my own parents, theo. they told me over and over that anything i would do, you would do it better. do i hate you now? probably a little less than yesterday, but i feel like i have to keep winning.

ㅤㅤㅤ he laughs, turning to look at you from head to toe with a smile that you could classify in a list of beautiful things.

ㅤㅤㅤ there is a silence that embraces both of you. he is so close that, when you turn to draw the dark mountains with large shadows of trees, you can feel the heat that his body gives off. you would have wanted to escape. however, you do not move for a warmth that envelops you comfortingly. maybe you could bear it.

ㅤㅤㅤ after an hour, sleep begins to weigh on your eyelids, closing softly every now and then. then you stretch, catching theodore’s attention, who hadn’t said or moved a muscle in the entire time.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i think i’ll go to sleep —you say, walking awkwardly towards the exit.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore nods his head and says—: i’ll stay a little longer.

ㅤㅤㅤ you nod, waving goodbye. on the short walk to the stairs you can only think about how nice the last hour had been. then, motivated by a force greater than your own conscience, you turn. theodore was already looking in your direction.

ㅤㅤㅤ —we should do this again —you whisper, gripping the stair railing—. next time, i’ll win.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it wasn’t a competition.

ㅤㅤㅤ —whatever you say.

ㅤㅤㅤ he watches you disappear, running down the stairs with a smile that's impossible to avoid. that little annoyance he had felt of you being in the place that always gives him loneliness disappeared, and he eagerly waits for it to happen again. besides, you had completely forgotten about the cigarette he was supposed to give you.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Catch me when I fall (1)

THIS IS PART ONE BCS TUMBLR IS AGAIN ACTING LIKE SHIT SO IT WILL BE DIVIDED INTO TWO PARTS!

pairing: hyunjin x afab!reader

genre: fluff, angst, smut

wc: 21.2k (30.6k both parts)

synopsis: An artist finds inspiration in a dancer, and the dancer finds hope inside the artist's paintings.

warnings: alcohol, mentions of death

nsfw warnings: multiple sex scenes, making out, mutual masturbation, grinding, oral (f and m), blindfolds, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, creampies

a/n: i am sorry this is so long and detailed!!! i just love soft artist hyunjin sm😭🫶🏻 also can you tell i suck at french hahaha

~ masterlist

~ divider by @strangergraphics

The sky had darkened, snowflakes silently falling down and catching onto Hyunjin's hair that was peaking out of his beanie. He could see his breath as he exhaled, disappearing into the cold air like a puff of smoke.

He shivered, his hands digging further into the pockets of his coat as he stared at the huge building before him. Usually, he wouldn't be out when it's this cold, but something had pulled him out of the comfort of his bed and dragged him out into the night.

There was a show in the theater, a performer he saw many times before but would come to see again in the blink of an eye any time he got the chance.

Tonight was that chance as Hyunjin took a few long strides after playing around with the puffs of air, the snowflakes around him gently grazing his rosy cheeks.

He finally walked into the building, standing in line to get his ticket checked. The air inside was warm, like a hug from a loved one inviting him closer. The lady at the entrance smiled at him as she looked at his ticket.

"Good evening, Hyunjin." she said, already acquainted with the young man.

"Good evening, ma'am." Hyunjin greeted politely before he finally walked into the theater, looking for his spot. He always liked to sit in the gallery as it gave him the best view of the stage.

Hyunjin sat comfortably, biting his lip in anticipation for what's to come. The murmur of the audience ceased as the lights in the room dimmed, a single spotlight shining onto the curtains.

Hyunjin gulped, leaning at the edge of his seat.

Soft music started playing and the curtain finally opened, revealing you standing in front of the silk that was secured on the ceiling.

His eyes started shining immediately as your performance began. You gave an elegant wave, your smile brighter than any spotlight, shining right onto the audience.

As soon as you started climbing up, Hyunjin's heart fluttered because he knew what was next. You wrapped the silk skilfully around yourself and Hyunjin tried, as always, to follow every small movement, to learn your routines, to understand how you did all those beautiful tricks that had captured his heart.

He stopped breathing for a moment as you let yourself fall, your body rolling against the silk as you caught yourself, bending and stretching yourself into all sorts of shapes. In Hyunjin's eyes you were art, your body was art, your hard work was art, your beauty was nothing but pure art.

He was infatuated and inspired by you, watching you move and command the stage so gracefully, like it was nothing.

When you finished and bowed to the audience, Hyunjin's ears filled with the sound of clapping and he stood up, weaving through the bodies of onlookers and disappearing into the black night.

He didn't want to accidentally run into you as he couldn't express into words the way you touched his heart with your dancing. You shined so brightly from afar that he was afraid he'd be blinded if he came any closer to you.

Hyunjin would later paint a scene inspired by your performance, but never display it in his gallery.

It was created only to give him comfort.

-

The cold morning air seemed to bite at your cheeks as you strolled through the city, trying to bury your face into your scarf as much as you could. The streets were mostly cleaned, the snow that had fallen last night was swept aside.

Your steps were hurried and purposeful, you had a goal in your mind. You woke up this morning with an urge to visit the gallery. One of many, but this one was your favorite.

You had no idea who owned it or who the artist was as they insisted on staying anonymous but you felt connected to them. It's as if they were painting for you, sending you a direct message that said 'hey, I'm here, I care, I understand.' You felt comforted and welcomed every time you walked into that gallery, every time you were surrounded by those paintings it was like a loving touch, telling you you're not alone.

As soon as you walked into the gallery, the world became quiet and contemplative, all the overstimulating noises and lights of the city disappearing.

A new exhibition of paintings decorated the walls and you made sure to stop in front of every single one, taking your time to revel in each detail the artist put onto the canvas. It seemed that they were feeling nostalgic and even a bit dark, judging by the paintings of lonely city views and lonely looking people.

You understood. Of course you did. After all, it had been three years since the accident and even though you healed on the outside, the wound on your heart still stung. Subconsciously, you rubbed your ring finger with your thumb as you continued looking at the paintings.

And there it was again, that comforting feeling, like this person knew exactly what you were going through, like they could read your mind and feel your emotions. A signature adorned every painting, the initials H.H. When you closed your eyes you could almost see the hand that put them there.

-

Hyunjin wasn't supposed to come to the gallery this morning, as the official opening wasn't happening until the evening, but he wanted to check if everything was in order.

At first, he didn't recognize you as you had your back turned to him but once you moved onto the next painting, Hyunjin saw the side of your face and stopped in his tracks.

His throat went dry immediately, his heart pounding against his chest as warmness spread through his body. There is no way you are actually here. He stared for some time and you must've sensed eyes on you as you turned to look right at him.

Hyunjin thought his world had stopped in that moment. You could say the same thing.

Your heart skipped a beat and you gave the handsome stranger a polite smile before tearing your eyes away from him reluctantly.

Hyunjin contemplated if he should approach you and how to actually do it without sounding like a creep. Saying 'hey, I watch you perform!' would probably be weird and chase you away and Hyunjin couldn't have that.

This was his one chance. What are the odds you'd come into his gallery?

He bit on his lip nervously as he slowly approached you. You were standing in front of a painting of an older couple walking hand in hand in the snow, everything around them fading away as they looked at each other. It was the only hopeful painting in this particular exhibition.

"You seem to like that painting a lot." a voice broke you out of your thoughts, scaring you a little as you turned abruptly only to be met with a pair of warm eyes belonging to the handsome stranger.

"I do. It makes me feel secure. And warm. Even though it is cold around them and everything looks dead and abandoned, they are smiling at each other, their cheeks are rosy. It's like they don't even notice the snow, only each other."

Hyunjin's heart started beating fast, his stomach felt weird and he knew what the feeling was even though he hasn't felt it in a long time.

"Yeah, they're too infatuated that they wouldn't even notice the world falling apart around them." Hyunjin smiled as he stared at your face.

You kept looking at the painting as he studied you. He'd never seen you up close like this, only far away on stage where you shined like the sun, and now up close you were still warm but Hyunjin could see the worry and melancholy in your eyes.

There was an aura of sadness around you, like you were carrying something heavy, but Hyunjin knew what it was like to carry a burden that weighs you down every single day.

"They are. I think this is my favorite painting of this exhibition." you said and Hyunjin beamed.

"Really? It is? I'm so glad!" he got too excited and you looked at him with a confused smile.

"I mean, it's my favorite too." Hyunjin chuckled awkwardly. "How did you find out about this gallery?"

The handsome stranger persisted and even though you felt a bit awkward with him practically interrogating you, something pulled you to stay and talk to him.

"I come here a lot. I check out every new exhibition." you said and Hyunjin almost started hyperventilating.

"Really?!" Hyunjin wondered how he's never seen you at the openings.

You looked at him, wondering why he was so excited about someone else's paintings.

"Yeah. It's like this artist understands the way I feel, like we are connected somehow."

Hyunjin's heart skipped a beat as he stared at you with wide eyes. He couldn't believe you admired his paintings so much; and not just that, you had found yourself inside him.

"Yeah? I feel the same." he said as you chuckled at him, still feeling a little awkward.

"Well, it was nice talking to you but I should go now."

Hyunjin opened his mouth to say something, anything to make you stay but you were already walking away, giving him a timid and polite wave, unlike the grandiose one you give on stage.

He didn't even manage to wave back before you walked out of the door. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he watched the door, his heart beating fast against his chest.

A part of him hoped you'd come back in but a part of him was relieved you left because you made him want to bounce off the walls and squeal like some school girl with a crush and that scared him. He turned to look at his painting again, the old couple so entwined in each other.

Hyunjin started to reminisce.

Two years ago

It was another cold winter morning, when Hyunjin woke up to an empty bed. The side where his lover laid was cold as his hand landed there, searching for the familiar warmth. When he found nothing but a void, his heart dropped in his stomach.

He had been fighting with his partner for the last few months, the ugly words they both said breaking them apart more and more each day.

Hyunjin knew it was inevitable, who he once considered the love of his life was just a passerby in the journey he was on, just a lesson to learn from; it was over even before it officially ended.

As he stood up, he saw it; the empty drawers and empty side of the closet. With an ugly heaviness weighing down on his chest, he slowly made his way to the kitchen. To his surprise, his partner was sitting there drinking coffee with a sullen look on their face.

Hyunjin then noticed the suitcase by the door.

"I thought you already left." Hyunjin's voice wavered as he swallowed the tears threatening to come out.

"I think it's only fair to at least say goodbye after four years of being together." his partner said, putting the cup down.

"So, you're really leaving?"

"I'm sorry. It's just not the same as it was. I don't- I don't love you anymore." they whispered and in the silence around them, Hyunjin heard his heart shattering into million pieces.

"Y-you don't mean that." he whispered, hands rolling into fists as he dug his nails into his skin.

"I do, I'm really sorry. I tried to make it work, but we haven't been us in such a long time that I don't know how to get back to that." his partner sighed.

"Yeah, since you started acting cold and distant." Hyunjin said bitterly, clenching his teeth and willing himself not to start crying.

"I'm sorry again. I really hope you find happiness, Hyunjin. You deserve it." with that, his now ex partner turned around, leaving out the door and out of his life forever.

It was as if everything collapsed around him and he was left alone in the cold. There was nothing stopping the tears from falling now.

Ever since that day, Hyunjin built a wall around his heart, the love he once saw as comforting, carefree and safe was now a frightening gamble.

He couldn't see himself falling in love again until there was you. Maybe, just maybe it was possible to open up his heart once again, even though it scared him deeply he was determined to get to know you more.

-

Another wonderfully executed performance was finished and you reveled in the well-deserved cheers and claps of the satisfied audience.

The curtain closed and you let out a breath full of excitement and relief. You were hugged and praised before you could escape from everyone, change into your clothes and just have a moment to yourself.

You decided to walk through the corridor of the gallery since most of the audience left and if they were walking out you'd blend into them in your big coat and make your escape.

As you strolled, you noticed a familiar figure in the distance. It was the handsome stranger you met at the gallery the other day. You stopped for a moment, your heart picking up speed as your lips parted. He noticed you, his eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Both of you just stood there for a moment, before he smiled and slowly made his way to you.

You also started walking, a small smile spreading on your lips as he kept his eyes on you.

Hyunjin couldn't be more excited to be running into you, thinking you'd left through the backdoor after the performance only to find you here.

In his excitement, Hyunjin miscalculated a step and before he could catch himself, he was falling.

You gasped, rushing towards him but it was too late, he was sprawled on the soft carpet of the theater, a grunt escaping his lips.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" you quickly reached your hands towards him and he grabbed them, getting up.

His face was red and he looked breathless, avoiding your eyes.

"M'fine. My dignity is not." he said with a frown, dusting off his jeans with his hands.

"It's okay, it happens to the best of us." you giggled and he finally looked up at you, his face becoming even more red.

Even though he was dying of embarrassment, Hyunjin's stomach was full of butterflies, swirling around his insides and making him nauseous.

"Or just to me." he shook his head, making you chuckle again.

"You saw me perform?" you asked curiously and he nodded, biting on his lip as a nervous habit.

"I hope you enjoyed." you smiled and warmness spread around Hyunjin's heart.

"Enjoyed?" he chuckled. "It was breathtaking as always." his smile dropped when he realized what he said.

"As always?" you looked at him confusedly, tilting your head.

"I mean... last time... well. Ughhh... I come here often to watch you perform. Not like in a weird way! Oh my god I'm so sorry, I probably sound like a creep. I just admire your dancing, that's all, please don't kick me." he flailed his arms with a funny look on his face.

"I'm not gonna kick you." you laughed. "I'm very honored to have people tell me they come back to watch my performances. And by people, I mean you since you're the first person to tell me that." you added, your own cheeks becoming rosy.

"Oh. Thanks for not kicking me." he chuckled. "I'm Hyunjin, by the way."

"Y/n. Though you probably know that." you said, remembering your name is on all your performances. "You didn't tell me you knew who I was yesterday." you added and Hyunjin sputtered.

"I- well... I didn't want to sound like a weirdo though I probably do right now." he smiled awkwardly.

"It's fine." you chuckled with a shrug.

The sound of lights being turned off on stage made you jolt a little.

"We need to leave, they're closing up the theater." you said.

"Oh, right." Hyunjin turned as both of you started walking towards the entrance.

"Are you tired?" he asked as you neared the door.

"Not particularly." you said, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

"You wanna grab something to eat?" Hyunjin's heart was jumping around in fear and excitement as he asked that question, but in his mind it was now or never.

You looked at him for a moment before you gave him a smile. Something about him pulled you like a magnet and you couldn't resist.

"Sure. Why not." you said and Hyunjin sighed in relief.

"Good night Y/n, Hyunjin." the lady at the door greeted and both of you chuckled, wishing her a good night too.

The cold air hit you like a sharp slap to the face and you pulled your beanie down, adjusting your coat to keep your neck warm. Hyunjin buried his face in his scarf as you rounded the corner onto the busy street.

"Wanna get some street food?" you asked, not being in the mood to sit at a fancy restaurant and wait for a meal to be cooked. You wanted to be outside in the fresh air, not minding the coldness of it.

"Sure, I feel like walking anyways." Hyunjin nodded and you smiled, making your way towards a hot dog stand.

"Not the healthiest option but I really don't care tonight." you chuckled and Hyunjin agreed, insisting on paying for both of your hot dogs.

The two of you kept walking through the streets, the Christmas lights were everywhere still adding to the atmosphere of coziness even though the actual holiday had passed.

"So, what do you do, Hyunjin?"

"I'm an artist. I know that probably sounds pretentious but I am lucky enough to live from my art." he chuckled before taking a big bite out of his hot dog.

"Oh, that sounds wonderful! What kind of artist?" you asked, your eyes sparkling with all the lights, making Hyunjin's stomach swarm with more butterflies.

"I paint mostly. But I do dabble in other media." he answered. "Right now I'm trying my hand at ceramics. It's just a bunch of weird and failed shapes for now but I think I can get there." he added with a chuckle.

"Sounds fun. I've never tried it."

"You should some time." Hyunjin said, wiping his lips with a napkin and throwing it in the trash. "What do you do when you don't perform?" he added with a curious smile.

"Oh, I teach classes to other dancers. Beginner and advanced, but mostly I deal with beginners. I've been told I'm very patient so I'm usually the one to teach people from scratch."

"Is it fun?" Hyunjin asked as you finished eating too, now ready to wash it down with a drink.

"Some days it is very fun. Some days it's frustrating. But I think it's like that with any job." you shrugged.

"It is, I feel like that too. Sometimes I wake up and just paint the entire day like I'm in some kind of trance whereas some days I can't even hold a brush in my hand." Hyunjin admitted.

"Oh yeah, I've fallen out of the silk many times on bad days. Luckily, we have safety mats so it wasn't too scary. Though I did bruise a few times. I'm used to it." you said, looking around and spotting a bar that looked decent.

"I guess people get used to the hardships." Hyunjin said and you nodded with a small smile.

"Do you wanna grab a drink?" you asked and Hyunjin beamed at you.

"Of course!" neither of you wanted the night to end yet when it was so promising, something sweet hanging in the air above you, making you feel at ease with someone you had practically just met.

The bar was almost completely full and the sound of people chattering was almost louder than the music yet you had managed to find two available spots at the counter.

The last time you were at a place like this brought up some unpleasant memories. But you put them aside, instead focusing on Hyunjin who got redder in the face the more the night went on and the more drinks you shared.

He was more talkative then earlier, giggling and hiccuping from time to time as the two of you talked about any random topic that came to mind.

You couldn't remember the last time you were so at ease with someone as you were in his presence, even though he was basically a stranger.

Well, maybe you couldn't call Hyunjin a stranger anymore, not after sharing a nice evening like this one with him.

But as he got more cheery with each drink, you sank down lower against your own will. Too many memories that were still haunting your dreams were surfacing now, especially in your intoxicated state.

Hyunjin noticed you were getting quieter and less attentive, wondering what has got you feeling like this. His eyes fell to your hand, where you kept rubbing at your ring finger, obviously doing it subconsciously.

"You wanna get out of here?" he leaned closer towards you, his hand sliding on the bar, his fingertips almost touching your elbow where you had leaned on it.

"Yeah." you said with a breath of relief.

After paying for the drinks (you had decided to split the bill), Hyunjin and you made your way outside.

You realized it was past midnight as you made it out, the quietness of the night a welcoming change after the loud bar, the emptiness of the streets like a reward after being surrounded by the crowd of people inside.

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin asked cautiously, swaying on his feet a little.

"I'm fine, just got lost in my thoughts. Sorry about that." you gave him a smile.

What you wanted to say was 'I don't wanna be alone tonight', but for some reason you didn't have to say anything. It's like Hyunjin could read your mind.

"We could take a walk?" he suggested and you nodded quickly, burying your hands in your pockets once again.

The walk was quiet at first, Hyunjin sobered up a little and you felt much better being out of the bar, just walking next to him.

"It's really cold." you shivered.

"It is. I'd suggest we drive around but we've both been drinking so I don't think that's a good idea." Hyunjin shivered too, realizing he almost couldn't feel his face from the cold.

"Nope, definitely not." you said.

Hyunjin contemplated inviting you to his apartment, but it felt too soon. Then he remembered he had the keys to his gallery.

"There's a place we can warm up."

"Oh? Where?" you asked, noticing how Hyunjin stepped closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating towards yours.

"The gallery you come to." he took out a set of keys out of his pocket, dangling them in front of your face with a smile. "I know the owner."

Your brows furrowed but against your better judgement, you went with it.

The gallery wasn't far so the walk was short and mostly silent, the only moment where silence was broken was an abrupt shout from a drunken passerby yelling 'Happy New Year!' to the two of you.

You yelled the good wishes back, chuckling as the man stumbled and his friend caught him, leading him away from your sight, mumbling about him being a lightweight.

You stood in front of the building and Hyunjin took the key out again.

"Are you sure the owner won't be mad we're here after hours?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest and hugging yourself in an attempt to keep warm.

Hyunjin giggled at you as he unlocked the door.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"If you say so." you said quietly as the two of you walked in.

Hyunjin closed and locked the door, grabbing his phone so he can turn on the flashlight.

"There's an office in the back." he led the way, not wanting to turn on the lights lest people think the gallery was open and try to walk in.

"Okay." you said, somehow trusting this man you barely knew.

The office was more cozy than you had expected, full of paintings and knick-knacks, looking more like an art studio than an actual office.

It was spacious and had a nice view on the park outside and a comfortable looking couch.

Hyunjin maneuvered through the multiple empty and half-empty canvases, picking up papers and brushes here and there.

"Sorry about the mess. Make yourself at home, I'll go find some wine." he said and you nodded as you took your coat off. You hung it on a rack where Hyunjin hung his before sitting down and sinking into the couch. Hyunjin had turned the heating on, as well as some low music before coming to join you as he carried a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"You're still shivering." he noticed and you shrugged.

"Until the heating does it's thing, I guess." you chuckled with a shrug.

"I'll bring you a blanket." he offered and you wanted to protest but he was already skipping away.

A few moments later both of you were tucked under the warm blanket after kicking your shoes off. The wine was unlike any you had tried before, it woke up your taste buds and slid easily down your throat. Hyunjin even brought some snacks to go with it and you felt relaxed even when your knees brushed against his slightly.

Hyunjin's cheeks became rosy at the contact as he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were sitting here with him, sharing a bottle of wine and talking like you were just some old friends catching up.

"This wine is exquisite." you commented.

"I would hope so, I bought it in Paris and paid a pretty penny for it. I was waiting for a good opportunity to open the bottle." Hyunjin smiled, taking a sip and savoring it.

"And this is a good opportunity?" you chuckled as warmth spread through your body, you were definitely becoming tipsy.

"I deemed it as one." he smiled at you, scooting closer and you got a whiff of his cologne. It was intoxicating and the way he was looking at you felt intimate, like you were two lovers who already knew each other.

"So, Paris. I've never been there." you said.

"I've been multiple times. It's a charming city, though it's not all they make it out to be." Hyunjin said.

"How so?" you asked, not noticing how Hyunjin was now even closer to you, both of you leaning on your elbows. You placed your hand down and Hyunjin's followed yours, right behind it, his fingertips playing with the soft material of your sweater.

"It really shines from afar, as many things do. Once you get there though, the reality slaps you in the face. Lots of streets are really dirty, trash everywhere, lots of rude people. It's just a working, bustling big city like any other. But there is history in its buildings, in its monuments. There's art. The more you go back, the more you crave to be there." Hyunjin explained as you downed your glass, noticing how he was getting dangerously closer to you, his fingers caressing your arm just under your bicep.

"I'd like to see it from my own eyes too, experience the city in its entirety." you tilted your head as your eyes got droopy, a nice buzz appearing inside your head.

"You should go some time. You gotta see Paris at least once in your life." Hyunjin's fingers ran up your bicep slowly.

The air between you became heavier as he stared into your eyes while his fingertips slowly traveled to your shoulder. The tension was palpable as you set your glass aside, inviting him to do the same.

After one last sip, Hyunjin put the glass on the coffee table too, next to the almost empty bottle.

Your breathing got deeper as he touched the side of your neck gently, timidly like he was asking for permission to touch you further.

Your own hand inched closer to his free one, your fingertips touching his. Hyunjin took your hand in his and you noticed just how much bigger his hand was than yours as it almost disappeared inside his. He gently swiped his thumb over your skin as he leaned closer to you.

Your heart was beating hard, on the verge of jumping out, your brain yelling at you and asking you what are you doing, but your body betrayed you as you felt shivers run up your spine and a familiar burning between your legs that you haven't felt in a long time.

Hyunjin was falling apart just the same, a small piece of the stone around his heart breaking and rolling away as you looked at him so sweetly, your eyes giving away your longing and your fear.

He understood. He understood the fear you carried within you as he himself lived with it constantly. So, Hyunjin wanted to savor every second with you, slowly, gently and quietly.

He brought your hand to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles, one by one as you let out a little gasp. He then kissed the top of your hand gently before leaning closer to you again, pressing your palm against his cheek and holding it there.

His other hand held the side of your neck, his fingertips reaching the back of it as he scratched your nape gently.

You wanted to tear away from him and run but he gave you such a feeling of safety, one you almost forgot exists. Hyunjin sensed that you were like a scared animal so he approached you slowly, not wanting to scare you away.

He leaned in, his hot breath hitting your skin before he pressed his lips on your cheek. It was enough to send a wave through your body, one that crashed right in your core.

Hyunjin pressed another kiss into your cheek, then another, and another. You didn't know what to do with yourself as you haven't been this close to someone in a long time so you let your hand fall from his face to his shoulder where you gripped at him.

Hyunjin's lips traveled to your jaw, leaving soft kisses along the line of it towards your ear before coming back to your lips. He looked at you for a moment, fingers tangling in your hair and playing with the strands. You were tongue tied and struggling to breathe as he stared at you intently but softly at the same time.

You didn't say anything so he leaned in again, kissing the corner of your lips before finally pressing his soft lips into yours. You didn't react right away, too shocked while you registered what was happening.

Hyunjin kissed you again so you shut your eyes, moving your lips against his. He tasted of wine and alcohol from the bar and his lips were the softest you'd ever felt against yours. You found yourself hypnotized as you kissed slowly, your warm breaths mingling together as you kept breathing each other in, sharing your air.

Hyunjin's hand on the back of your neck gripped you more firmly as he pressed his lips against yours harder and you grabbed at his sweater with both of your hands, trying to ground yourself somehow, before your body floated away completely.

The slow music, the buzz from the wine and the warmth from Hyunjin's body under the blanket made you feel like you were running a fever. You fell into a rhythm, kissing him and tasting his lips, alternating between having his upper and bottom lip between yours.

Hyunjin felt the heat equally as you did, a rush of blood to his core, making his head spin even faster than it was before. He felt as if he needed you in that moment, just like he needed the air to breathe. Hyunjin's free hand landed on your waist as he licked at your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

You wanted to fight against it but you couldn't, melting into him as you parted your lips. He pushed his tongue in, lapping at yours and tasting you. You were intoxicatingly sweet even though you tasted like alcohol, you had him under your spell and he didn't want to stop.

You bunched his sweater in your hands as he leaned in closer, kissing you harder as his tongue explored your mouth, his hand gripping your waist.

What are you doing?, a voice rang out in your head.

You ignored it and continued kissing Hyunjin, this beautiful and gentle man who had quite literally fallen in front of you tonight, whose name you hadn't known until a few moments after that.

Hyunjin grabbed your face as he kissed you fervently, both of you were now swallowing each other's moans as you had become more desperate with each passing moment.

What are you doing?, the voice asked you again and panic started seeping inside you.

Again, you tried ignoring it as Hyunjin bit on your bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth, his large hands holding your head as his thumbs caressed your cheeks.

He pecked you once, twice, again before he kissed you softly again, his lips slick with spit.

Something nagged at you and you could feel the all consuming fear inside you, almost bringing tears to your eyes.

Quickly, you teared your lips away from Hyunjin's, pushing at his chest as he didn't realize you were pulling away.

"Stop!" you said, your voice breaking as your eyes filled with tears that you tried to blink away.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Hyunjin looked concerned as he gently caressed your cheek.

"No, I need to leave." you said, shaking your head.

"Leave? Now?" he looked confused.

"I'm sorry, it's very late and I just remembered I have something in the morning." you talked as you scrambled to get up and put your shoes on.

Hyunjin knew what you said was a bullshit excuse.

"It's late, stay here. We don't have to kiss if you don't want to. Just... Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." he looked genuinely concerned as you grabbed your coat.

Oh, this sweet man.

"No, no, you didn't. Really. I just have to go." you said, hurriedly making your way out. Hyunjin followed after you as he grabbed the keys.

"Are you sure? I can walk you home at least." he said.

"Don't worry, I'll call a cab." you forced a smile as he unlocked the door reluctantly.

"Will I see you again?" Hyunjin asked, his hand on the door handle.

"Maybe." you whispered as he opened the door.

You didn't even button your coat when you ran out into the snowy night as Hyunjin watched your figure disappear, his fingertips pressed against his lips where he could still taste you.

What did he do wrong? He had no idea why you would suddenly run out on him. The melancholy he felt earlier was back, eating away at him as once again he was left alone.

It's been three weeks since you had seen Hyunjin. You felt stupid and embarrassed for running out like that as soon as you sobered up, wanting the earth to swallow you up after you realized how dumb your excuse sounded.

What bugged you the most was the look on Hyunjin's face as you left. He looked so blue but at the same time, it seemed like there was a flicker of something familiar, like it happened before.

You couldn't wipe that look of his out of your mind. So, you decided to finally go to the gallery, hoping to run into him or someone who knows where he is.

You had no performances scheduled for these past few weeks so you knew you wouldn't run into him at the theater, though you weren't even sure that he'd come see you after the way you left things last time.

It was snowing outside again so you hurried up, almost slipping on the ice that had formed on the sidewalk as you gripped at the door handle.

A new exhibition was adorning the walls and you looked around, seeing no one but a few people just looking at the paintings. As your eyes scanned the room, you noticed all the paintings had something in common.

They were all scratched with angry black circles. No matter what the actual painting underneath showed, the black void was covering it. You gulped as you went from painting to painting, the beautiful colors and brush strokes were all drowned under the the ugly scribbles.

There was one single painting in the corner that wasn't scribbled on and as soon as you saw what it was, your heart stopped.

It was a bottle of wine, and not just any wine, it was the one Hyunjin and you had shared that night coupled with half empty glasses on the table. There was a quote scribbled next to the bottle on the table and it said 'Les étoiles ne peuvent briller sans l'obscurité'. You stared at it as your eyes watered, quickly turning around and leaving out of the gallery with hurried steps as you yanked the door open.

You had just missed Hyunjin as he walked out of the office, his head lifting up from the papers he was looking at only to see the doors closing as you already rounded the street.

-

It has been four weeks since Hyunjin had last seen you, not that he counted. You had a performance at the theater and he stood in front of the poster, seeing you with your bright smile and sparkly clothes, shaping yourself together with the silk. Thoughts started swirling in his mind.

Two years ago

When his partner left him, Hyunjin moped around his apartment, not eating, not sleeping. Everything seemed dull and dark, even painting didn't lift his spirits up. Any time he picked up a piece of paper, it would end up crumpled and thrown wherever. The entire apartment was a mess, but Hyunjin's heart was even a bigger mess.

Something nagged at him to get out of the apartment, the place filled with memories of them laughing together, sharing kisses, being happy. Of the cold look his former lover had on their face as they left him.

Hyunjin dressed warm, burying himself in his coat as he left the apartment. He walked around aimlessly, all the couples holding hands and smiling at each other just adding to his loneliness.

Then he saw it, a poster on the theater wall.

'Aerial silk goddess, y/n! Tonight at 8pm.'

Something pulled him to the beautiful shape he saw in the picture so he randomly walked into the theater and bought the ticket.

Hyunjin had never seen something like this live and seeing you perform had him at the edge of his seat. You were ethereal and breathtaking, moving so beautifully that he wished he didn't have to blink so he didn't miss even a milisecond of watching you. There was something in your movement that had mesmerized him, the way you controlled your body and the silk, how brave you must be to lift yourself up so high and know how to twist and turn so you don't fall.

That night, Hyunjin had finally painted.

Present time

Hyunjin didn't want to let you slip away. Maybe you had shared but one evening together, but there was something untangible between you. Hyunjin had never kissed someone he just met, usually he'd take his time due to his shyness and his cautiousness, but you were an exception. It's like he couldn't help his lips gravitating towards yours.

It seemed that his heart was beating in his stomach as he rushed into the theater, almost knocking someone over and apologizing quickly.

"Good evening, Hyunjin." the older lady at the entrance smiled.

"Evening, Lena." Hyunjin greeted back.

"Here's your ticket." she said.

"Thank you." he paid and rushed upstairs to the gallery.

His leg was bouncing up and down as he waited for the performance to start and as soon as the curtain opened and his eyes fell on you, it was as if his soul was at peace. All the worries and difficulties would disappear ever since that first time he saw you dance until now, even after you walked out. It didn't matter. Hyunjin wasn't going to give up easily, he never did, he was a fighter.

When you finished, Hyunjin quickly got up and rounded the building, waiting for you at the back door and hoping this time you'd come out there and not the front door.

His intuition was right as the door opened and you walked out, stopping in your tracks when you saw him.

"Hyunjin!" you exclaimed, your eyes wide.

"Hey. Came to see you perform, I couldn't miss it." he said as the two of you walked closer to each other.

"Oh." your face softened. "Thank you." you paused. "Look, I'm really sorry for last time, I shouldn't have run out like that in the middle of everything."

"It's okay, maybe you can make it up to me tonight? I mean, we don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. We can take a walk?" Hyunjin suggested, playing with the end of his scarf nervously.

"Sure, I'd like that." you smiled and just like that everything was falling into place. The two of you started walking the same path as you did the last time.

"I went to see the last exhibition in the gallery." you broke the comfortable silence between you.

"Oh... you did?" Hyunjin swallowed with a nervous smile.

"H.H. The initials. It's you, you're the painter and the owner of the gallery." you said, turning to look at him.

"I am. Sorry for not telling you earlier." he gave you a small smile.

"I understand, you want to stay anonymous." you chuckled. "But the paintings...They were very dark. Except the one with the wine bottle..." you trailed off.

"Ugh, don't mind it. Painting is a way to get my thoughts and emotions out. I'm fine, really." Hyunjin smiled though it didn't reach his eyes completely.

"Stars can't shine without darkness." you quoted the french writing that was on his painting, and Hyunjin looked at you wistfully.

"But aren't the stars so beautiful and worth it?" he asked.

"They are." you said as both of you stopped walking, shivers running up your spine.

"Are you cold?" Hyunjin asked and you nodded.

"Wanna go for a drive?"

"Yeah, let's do it." you said and Hyunjin led you to his car that was parked near the gallery.

After unlocking the car, Hyunjin opened the door for you and you got into the passenger seat, buckling up as he got in too. Hyunjin turned the heating on and blasted some music for the atmosphere as he pulled out of the parking lot.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence as Hyunjin drove the half-empty roads and you stared out the window at the city passing you by, your thumb rubbing at your ring finger again.

As he pulled up to a red light, Hyunjin noticed the movement and wondered again why you were doing that.

"I'm kinda hungry. Are you?" he asked after turning the music down.

"Yeah. We can go to a drive through?" you suggested, noticing it was getting really late and everything was probably closed by now.

He agreed and you ended up getting some junk food, with Hyunjin finding a nice quiet spot to park at with the view of the city and the stars.

"We can get in the backseat." he had suggested and your heart skipped a beat.

"Sure." you nodded, noticing the redness of his cheeks.

Both of you had shed your coats, leaving them up front as you got cozy, Hyunjin turned a light on and the car was heated up enough for the two of you to relax and enjoy your meal.

"I didn't think I'd be eating junk food in the back of a car on a Friday night but here we are." you chuckled, making Hyunjin giggle too.

"I mean, it's a new experience for me too." he said.

"You must be such a forgiving person." you said after a moment of silence.

"Why do you say that?" Hyunjin asked, taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"Well, I feel like I insulted you with the way I acted last time. It's just... it's been a while for me. I panicked and overreacted." you explained.

"I figured as much. Actually, it's been a long time for me too." Hyunjin smiled understandingly. "Two years to be exact."

"Three for me." you added with a chuckle.

"Okay, so we're both a bit rusty and it's okay to make mistakes. There's more than one chance, right?" Hyunjin looked at you, his eyes sparkling with a hopeful glint.

"There is." you said quietly.

It dawned on you just then that you were sitting in the backseat of his car in the middle of nowhere and your stomach did somersaults.

Hyunjin felt the same, he was sweating from nerves, having you in his car, so close to him where no one could bother the two of you.

When you finished with your food and drinks, Hyunjin put all the trash in the big bag, getting out of the car to throw it in the can.

The whiff of cold air that reached you in that moment was refreshing as you took a deep breath and waited for him to come back.

"Woo, cold!" Hyunjin practically slid back in, closing the door loudly behind him and you chuckled at his antics.

"It's warm in here." you scooted closer to him.

"Yeah, it is. It can get even warmer." he gave you a little smirk, his hand reaching to touch yours.

"I bet." you whispered as the two of you leaned in.

"Just before we do anything, don't feel pressured. Stop me any time and I'll drive you home instantly." Hyunjin said as he grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers and playing with them.

"Okay." you nodded, squeezing his hand.

Hyunjin used his free hand to guide your face towards his. You melted instantly and even though you had tasted him only once before, you missed the feeling of his lips against yours. You got as close to him as you could and Hyunjin put his hands on your waist, holding you gently.

You placed your hands on his neck, pushing him harder against you, making him gasp into your mouth. Your fingers played with the hair on the back of his neck as he pushed his tongue into your mouth, and you welcomed him. His kisses were getting desperate, as were his hands, moving up and down your waist, lifting your sweater up a little.

When you broke apart for air, you noticed a pretty mole on the side of his neck so you pressed your lips into it and Hyunjin gripped at you, a gasp escaping his lips. His neck was sensitive, you noted in your head, so you started pressing more kisses above the mole, up towards his jaw.

Hyunjin's breathing got deeper, his fingertips sliding under your shirt. You leaned back to look at him, his eyes were hooded with lust, probably mirroring yours. You threw your leg over his thighs, sitting in his lap and Hyunjin moaned quietly when you pressed yourself closer to him.

"Please. Kiss my neck more." he begged, throwing his head back as he squeezed your hips.

How could you deny him when he looked so pretty giving himself to you?

You let your lips wander all over his neck, Hyunjin moaned and gasped as you kissed and nipped at his skin. His hands slid under your shirt and you pressed your core into his, making both of you moan. Even under the layers of warm winter clothes you could feel him straining against his jeans.

You kept kissing and biting at his neck as Hyunjin moaned quietly, his hips moving up into yours. You felt like some school girl making out with your crush, almost chuckling at yourself.

The fears and doubts you felt last time were still gnawing at you but you knew you weren't doing anything wrong. Though a piece of your heart would always remain taken, you could give the rest of it.

"Hey, fun trick." Hyunjin smirked as he caressed your lower back, fingertips dipping down to the swell of your ass.

"What?" you looked at him confusedly.

"The seats go down." he said, still smirking as he reached somewhere under the seat, and they fell down quickly making both of you topple over as you squealed in surprise.

Hyunjin started to laugh and you couldn't help but laugh with him. He looked at you with sparkly eyes and the sweetest smile ever and your heart skipped a beat.

"I don't usually do this." you said, needing to clarify that.

"Me neither." he breathed out as his big hands roamed all over your back.

"I'm nervous." you admitted and Hyunjin giggled.

"If it helps, I'm a nervous wreck too." he said before turning you over slowly, so he was on top.

"It helps." you whispered as your breath got knocked out of your lungs.

Hyunjin looked at you for a moment, his hand caressing your head and playing with your hair before he leaned in and kissed you gently, playing with your tongue.

The kiss was sloppy and messy, your teeth collided a few times but neither of you gave a damn. Hyunjin's hands became more curious, dipping under your shirt to touch your stomach and your waist.

You arched into him and he took that as a sign to continue, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts.

"Mm." he whined against your lips as he started massaging them, his thumbs rolling over your sensitive nipples. You were glad you put on only a flimsy bra you usually wore after a performance.

Hyunjin seemed to appreciate it too, his fingers dipping into it to touch your skin directly. He detached his lips from yours and you chased them, making him chuckle lowly as he leaned in and started kissing your jaw.

His lips traveled down to your neck as he kissed you hungrily just like you had kissed him. His tongue lapped at your skin, his hands still playing with your chest and you couldn't help the little moans escaping your lips.

You got so wet just from kissing him, touch starved and longing for more. Your legs fell open and Hyunjin noticed, his cock twitching painfully inside his pants.

"Can I mark you?" he asked, his eyes darkened as he stared at you, fingertips caressing your neck.

"Yes." you said breathlessly and Hyunjin licked at your skin before sinking his teeth into your sensitive spot.

"Ah!" you gasped, gripping at his upper back, digging your nails into him. Hyunjin's hand slowly slid towards your pants as he sucked a love bite into your skin.

His hand stopped at your navel as he kissed your collarbone, his fingers dipping a bit under your pants.

"Can I, please?" he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Yes, yes." you nodded quickly and Hyunjin pecked your lips softly a few times as he unbuttoned your pants.

He nosed your cheek before leaving gentle kisses everywhere on your face as his hand slid lower towards your warmth. He kissed your neck again as his fingers inched closer to where you needed him the most. Hyunjin leaned back to look at your face when he pressed his finger into your clit.

You gasped, arching into his touch, your eyes fluttering. He bit on his lip as he watched your reaction, drinking in your pretty face, flushed with arousal and want. He circled the bud with his fingertips while you moaned quietly, your hands pushing under his sweater and the shirt he had underneath it.

His skin was hot under your palms, the softness of it inviting you to touch him more. Hyunjin reveled in your touch, melting as his fingertips dipped between your clothed folds.

"You're so wet." Hyunjin licked at his lips as he touched you gently, coaxing more arousal out of you.

You looked at him as your face burned, embarrassment seeping in but you ignored it, letting your hands slide on his body, exploring his firm abs. You could feel his stomach quivering as soon as you ran your hands there, playing with his happy trail that lead to his core.

Hyunjin cupped your breast with his free hand, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple as he pushed his hand into your panties, touching your pussy without anything covering it. You clenched around nothing immediately, your hands working to unbutton his pants.

You looked at him, his eyes were narrowed and full of lust but there was something soft still inside them.

"Touch me, darling." he breathed out as you hesitated. You pushed your hand in his underwear, clenching around nothing again when you felt just how big and hard he was, dripping pre cum in your palm, throbbing to be touched by you.

Hyunjin whined at the restricted movements, pulling his hand out of your pants just to slide them down. Your face instantly flushed in embarrassment when you remembered the panties you wore today.

Hyunjin looked down and giggled at your pink panties that said 'Finally Friday!'.

"That's so cute." he laughed and you smacked his arm.

"Shut up." you whined, covering your face. "I didn't think you'd be stripping me tonight." your voice was muffled behind your palms.

"I was hoping I would." he teased and you smacked his arm again, making him chuckle.

"It's okay, I'm wearing pjs under my sweater." Hyunjin took his sweater off, revealing a short sleeved shirt with a cartoon dog sleeping on it.

You started giggling and Hyunjin's face flushed like yours.

"Laugh all you want, it's the most comfortable t-shirt that I own."

"It's cute." you said, grabbing the back of his neck, your fingertips caressing him and playing with his hair.

Hyunjin smiled as he leaned in to kiss you, his hands sliding on your stomach and lifting your sweater up. You let him take it off, your hands tugging at his cute pjs. He chuckled and took it off too and you almost had a heart attack.

You knew he was handsome but you had no idea his body was this perfect. You had an urge to kiss and worship every inch of his skin. Hyunjin's heart started beating fast under your mesmerized gaze.

"What?" he chuckled nervously.

"You're beautiful." you said and he chuckled again.

"Says you." he smirked, his hands on your shoulders as he slowly slid your bra straps down. You unhooked it and took it off, watching Hyunjin's reaction as he licked his lips, staring at your chest with blown pupils.

He leaned in and started kissing your collarbone, your skin hot against his lips as he reveled in the softness and sweet scent of you. He kissed the swell of your breasts before licking at your nipple and taking it in his mouth.

You whimpered, arching into him instantly and he closed his eyes while he sucked on your breast, his hand sliding down to your panties again. Hyunjin hooked his fingers into the end of them and you lifted your middle so he could take them off.

As soon as they were off, your hands were back on his pants and Hyunjin moaned around you as he looked up at you. He leaned back and took his jeans off together with his boxers, making you drool instantly.

"Oh."

"I hope that was a good 'oh'." he said with a cute smile gracing his face, his eyes filling up with innocence for a moment.

"More than good." you smirked, wrapping your hand around his heavy cock. Hyunjin exhaled loudly, his brows furrowing and his body shivering when you slid your thumb against his slit.

"Fuck. I'm probably gonna cum fast, I'm sorry." he chuckled awkwardly, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Me too." you giggled and he looked at you, his face softening.

"Oh, I know darling. I'll make sure you do." Hyunjin said lowly, his hands sliding on your inner thighs, making you open your legs more. Being flexible came in handy as you were spread completely for him and Hyunjin's cock twitched at the sight.

Hyunjin's fingers slid against your wet folds, teasing you with his fingertips dipping between and then coming back up to play with your clit. You felt like you were burning up slowly as you teased his slit, smearing the beads of pre cum on his tip.

He took in shaky breaths as you touched him, sliding your hand down to grip him, making his hips jolt into your hand.

"Y/n." he breathed out as he massaged your clit in circles, pressing his fingers harder into it.

"Hyunjin." you moaned, slowly moving your hand and he bit on his lip as he closed his eyes and threw his head back.

"Say my name again." he groaned and you whimpered out his name as he pressed his finger against your folds.

He looked down at you, needing to see your face when he pushed it inside you. You gasped, moaning at the feeling of his long finger touching you where you hadn't been touched in so long other than by yourself.

Hyunjin fucked you slowly, in the same rhythm as you moved your hand around his cock, watching every twitch of your lips, every flicker of fire inside your eyes, every time your brows furrowed, every time your lips parted in a gasp.

His other hand was on your breast, playing with your nipple and squeezing as your free hand landed on his bicep, gripping onto it for purchase.

You leaned up to kiss his collarbone as you flicked your wrist and moved your hand faster and Hyunjin melted, moaning as he slid his finger out.

"One more?" he pressed two of his fingers against you and you nodded quickly.

"Please." you whimpered and he pushed in, eliciting another gasp out of you.

Hyunjin matched your pace, driving you crazy and making your hand stutter for a moment before you regained control of it. You were determined to make him feel good as he was determined to satisfy you. He found your sweet spot when you moaned loudly, saying 'right there!' so he fucked you faster as you gripped the back of his neck and pulled him in closer, kissing him desperately.

Your tongues entwined in a passionate kiss, as you brought each other closer to ecstasy. The air inside Hyunjin's car became so hot that it was hard to breathe, as both of you moaned and kissed, not caring about spit and the sweat forming on your bodies. Hyunjin couldn't help himself as he rutted into your hand all the while driving you insane with his pretty fingers. The wet sounds of your pussy and his cock were making you feel even more aroused, your legs shaking as you felt your orgasm building up.

"I'm close!" you whimpered.

"Me too. Cum for me, darling." Hyunjin groaned, leaning his forehead against yours and kissing your face as he fucked your brains out with just his fingers.

"Mm, yes!" you whimpered, twitching against his hand as you came and squirted all over your thighs and the seat.

Hyunjin gasped, quickly pulling his fingers out so he could grab his cock, letting your hand rest for a moment as he tugged on it a few times only to explode on your clenching pussy, his cum landing in spurts all over your core, inner thighs and navel.

"Fuck." he groaned, collapsing on top of you, neither of you caring about all the stickiness.

Hyunjin buried his face in your neck as you wrapped your arms and legs around him, one of your hands buried in his hair and the other gently caressing his back. His hand was resting on your breast, squeezing occasionally as the two of you slowly came down from your high.

You were so wrapped up in him, the weight of his body on yours, his warmth, his soft skin, his spent cock resting on your inner thigh, his breath tickling your neck. You hadn't felt this close to someone in years and your eyes welled up with tears. Hyunjin laid blissfully against you, his heart beating fast in tandem with yours, he smiled as he pressed his lips gently into one of the marks he had left on your skin.

When you sniffled, Hyunjin was alarmed and looked up at you instantly to find you crying.

"Y/n, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he panicked immediately and you shook your head.

"No, it's just... This is embarrassing. But I think I was really touch starved." you admitted and Hyunjin smiled at you softly as he wiped your tears away.

"Well, I am too. It's okay." he said, kissing your cheeks.

You held him tighter against your body, your lips sliding down his neck again where you found his sensitive spot and sank your teeth into it. Hyunjin whimpered, his limp cock twitching against you.

You sucked until a pretty purple bruise appeared on his soft skin, kissing it a few times as he breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the mood with my crying."

"You didn't ruin anything." he smiled, this sweet, beautiful and gentle man and your heart kept fluttering as you gently touched each other everywhere, curiously exploring each other's bodies.

"I just..." you started and Hyunjin could see you were struggling.

"You don't have to explain anything. Just tell me when you're ready." he said, kissing your forehead.

"Are you even real?" you asked with a smile and he laughed, his face becoming so red and adorable.

"I am." he smirked and kissed you hard to prove the point.

You didn't think you could love again but now a flicker of hope was starting to burn within you. Hyunjin held you in his arms like you were his entire world, caressing you gently as you kept touching his soft skin. Somehow, you dosed off while he kept you warm.

"Y/n."

"Huh?" you blinked confusedly until Hyunjin's face materialized in front of you, realizing he had pulled his coat over your body, his arms still wrapped around you and your legs tangled together.

"The sun will be up soon. You wanna get dressed and watch the sunrise?" he whispered and you smiled tiredly at him.

"Yeah." you nodded.

The two of you spent a few minutes trying to find all your clothing and Hyunjin found a water bottle so you could get hydrated.

As soon as you were wrapped up in your coats, you finally left the car and walked outside.

The crisp morning air was very much welcomed after the stuffy atmosphere inside the car that you had created. You took in a deep breath as Hyunjin left the doors open and came closer to you, leading you to the front of his car.

He leaned on the hood, pulling your body into his and holding you flush against him, your back pressed into his front. The first rays of sunshine were brightening up the sky as he held you tightly.

His lips brushed against your ear before he spoke.

"Si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t'ai mise." Hyunjin whispered and you giggled as his breath tickled your skin.

"I don't know what you just said but it sounds romantic." you said and he chuckled.

"It is." he smirked as you looked back at him.

"You're not gonna tell me what it means, are you?"

"Nope." he answered, his cheeks rosy.

"I had to google translate that quote on the painting." you shook your head and Hyunjin chuckled.

"Look at it this way; you're learning a new language." he said with a smug smirk, making you giggle.

The next few moments you enjoyed the comfortable silence and the warmth of his body pressed against yours as the sun slowly came out. You couldn't believe you had welcomed the dawn with Hyunjin, the images of the two of you in his car stuck in your mind, making your body react instantly as your face heated up, your heart beating fast and your core throbbing.

"I don't wanna go home yet." Hyunjin said, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

"Me neither. We could get breakfast?" you suggested and Hyunjin smiled, his eyes warm and hypnotizing as he looked at you sweetly, the sun adding to his shine.

"I like the way you think." he said with a smile as you turned around in his arms.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pressed your body into his, staring into your eyes. You leaned in and kissed him as the sun warmed up your back. Hyunjin kissed you like his life depended on it and when you tried to pull away, he cradled your head in his hands and kept kissing you until you were breathless.

"Let's go, I'm starving." he said when you parted and you agreed.

Hyunjin drove and put some music on, singing along at first absentmindedly until you giggled so he turned to you occasionally and sang dramatically, making a show of it.

"You know it's like not even 7am?" you laughed at him.

"I know but I didn't sleep so I'm wired." he chuckled, turning the music down.

"What did you do while I slept?" you asked as he pulled up to a red light.

"I enjoyed your presence." he smirked, grabbing your hand and kissing it. "Give me a kiss before it turns on." he motioned to the light and you leaned in with a chuckle, pecking his lips before he kept driving.

Hyunjin found the closest diner and the two of you spent the early morning hours together, a warm cup of coffee and a stack of pancakes being the perfect ending to a beautiful outing.

Somehow, Hyunjin made it easy to forget about everything, to just have a good time and enjoy the moment you were in. You didn't want to part from him but you had work in the afternoon and you needed some sleep so you don't fall and injure yourself while instructing the other dancers.

It was close to 9am when you walked out of the diner.

"I'll drive you home if you want." Hyunjin said with a little sigh and a sweet smile still etched on his face.

"Sure." you nodded.

You were crashing by then, really wanting to catch up on some sleep, not even the coffee helped wake you up.

"This is where I live." you pointed to Hyunjin as he pulled up in front of your building.

He leaned back on his seat, his head resting on it as he looked at you with a look of pure infatuation, the lovesick look you recognized very well.

"Well, this was wonderful. I don't remember the last time I did something like this." Hyunjin said.

"Probably high school." you said and he giggled.

"Definitely." he shivered thinking of those times. "When can I see you again?" he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I'm free on Sunday." you said and he smiled, relief flashing in his eyes.

"You wanna come to my place?" he bit on his lip, looking you up and down, making your heart skip a beat. "I kinda suck at cooking but it would be fun to make dinner together?"

"Sure. I'd like that." you said, your cheeks warming up.

"I live above the gallery so you know where to find me." Hyunjin's hand found yours, playing with your fingers as he looked at you sweetly.

"6pm sound good?" you asked.

"Perfect." he whispered and leaned in.

You met him in the middle, kissing gently and softly as the world melted away around you.

"See you Sunday." you said as you walked out of his car, giving him a little wave.

"À bientôt, ma chérie." Hyunjin whispered to himself as he watched you enter your building.

Sunday couldn't come soon enough for Hyunjin. He was practically vibrating the entire night on Saturday, tossing and turning in his bed as he kept thinking about you, flipping image after image in his mind, of the last time and how it will be this time.

You weren't any better, a kind of excitement building up inside you and making you squeal into your pillow. You never thought you'd feel like this again, not after what happened three years ago. You pushed all those thoughts in the back of your mind and focused on Hyunjin, his kisses and touches, his warm eyes and cute smile.

Both of you had sweet dreams that night.

-

It was a colder evening as it snowed again and Hyunjin waited next to his window so he can see you come out of the cab and come get you.

He played some slow melancholy music that was creating a warm mood inside his apartment and with his heart beating fast in anticipation to see you, Hyunjin thought the city never looked as romantic as it did tonight.

He observed the falling snowflakes melting into the ground around all the people who walked hurriedly on the street. Yes, it was cold and dark but to Hyunjin every little snowflake danced beautifully just like you did, twirling in your silk like you were some ethereal being.

As soon as the cab pulled up, Hyunjin ran off to grab his jacket and meet you downstairs, almost tripping over his own feet on the way there.

You lifted your head when you heard a door opening and a breathless Hyunjin appeared in front of you, a toothy smile spreading on his face instantly.

"Hey, handso-" you were about to compliment him, but Hyunjin had already gripped the back of your neck and crashed his lips on yours, knocking the breath out of your lungs.

You grabbed at his jacket, pulling him closer as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

"Oh." you inhaled the cold air when you parted.

"Missed you." Hyunjin pressed his forehead against yours and your face started burning like a forest fire.

"Already?" you chuckled.

"Didn't you miss me?" he pouted cutely as he held your face.

"I missed you too." you said and he smiled, kissing you again.

"Let's get inside." he shivered as he grabbed your hand and led you inside the building.

You were interested to see how he decorated his apartment, being an artist and all and you were not surprised to see that it was a creative mess.

"Sorry if it's messy, I'm always painting or doing something so everything ends up everywhere." Hyunjin noticed you were looking around.

"No, I like it. It's... eccentric." you smirked and he laughed shyly.

"Thank you." he said.

"What happened to that wall?" you pointed at one of the walls in his kitchen that had messy paint streaks on it.

"Well. That was a few years ago when I was frustrated because I didn't have any inspiration to paint so the wall was the victim of my frustrations." Hyunjin explained as he grabbed a bottle of wine.

"Did it get you out of the slump?" you asked curiously.

"Not really. Something else did." he smiled, his eyes sparkly. "Wanna start with some wine?"

"Sure." you nodded.

"This is Muscat d'Alsace, it goes perfectly with what I planned out for dinner." Hyunjin smiled as he poured the wine. "I fell in love with it when I traveled to the Alsace region in France. It's a wonderful blend of German and French culture and food." he added before swirling the liquid and smelling it, prompting you to do the same.

He took a sip and you followed, the fruity taste and the subtle floral note landing nicely on your tongue.

"It's wonderful." you said and Hyunjin chuckled.

"I'm glad you like it." he said.

"What are we cooking?" you asked.

"To go with the theme of Alsace I wanted us to make tarte flambée but it's not the same if you don't have a wood-burning oven with a stone floor which I obviously don't own. So we can make bacon, cheddar and onion quiche as a substitute."

"Sounds good to me." you smiled and Hyunjin came closer to you.

"Are you hungry, ma chérie?" he smirked, his eyes narrowing. "Cause I'm very very hungry." he pulled his lip between his teeth as he looked at you like you were the most delicious meal ever.

"Oh, I'm hungry too. I'll even have room for dessert." you smirked back at him, your hand sliding from his wrist slowly up to his shoulder.

Hyunjin's eyes fluttered for a moment as he sucked in a breath. It was obvious that even the littlest touch drove him insane. He was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and you felt him pulling you in more and more with every second you spent with him.

He kissed you slowly, sensually as his hands landed on your waist, fingers splayed and tickling you lightly. You caressed his face, melting into his sweet lips.

"We better get started if we want to get to that dessert quickly." he winked at you and you chuckled, your face becoming red.

Hyunjin pulled up the recipe on the internet and sifted through his kitchen to take out everything you'll need. You put your hair up so it doesn't annoy you while you cook and Hyunjin stopped in his tracks immediately as you organized the groceries.

"Ah!" you squealed in surprise when you felt his arms wrapping around your middle. His lips followed, pressing on the back of your neck gently, his hot breath making goosebumps rise on your skin.

"Qui t'a donc fait si jolie, tu me rends fou..." he whispered before kissing you again, right where you were most sensitive.

You turned putty immediately, grabbing at his hands that were holding you tightly.

"Hyunjin..." you had no idea what he said but it could've been a love spell as you kept falling deeper into him, becoming a fool with a crush or maybe something more.

"Sorry, I'll stop distracting you." he pressed a little kiss to your shoulder and you giggled, almost telling him that no, he shouldn't stop and he should keep distracting you.

The two of you then fell into small talk as you cooked together, taking sips of the sweet wine, the sound of laughter filling up the space. Both of you hadn't felt like this in a long time and Hyunjin was happy that his apartment seemed brighter the moment you walked in.

"Now we wait for it to bake." Hyunjin put the quiche into the oven as you leaned on the counter, taking another sip of the Alsace wine.

"How long?"

"10 minutes." Hyunjin came to you, wrapping around you again. His lips were on your face instantly, kissing your cheeks and jaw. You chuckled as he pressed his body into yours, your hands tangling in his hair while your lips attached to his.

"I love this music." Hyunjin whispered, swaying a little and pulling you with him.

"Is this John Coltrane?" you asked and Hyunjin chuckled in delight.

"It is. From his album Ballads, first song." he smiled as he leaned his cheek on yours and the two of you started slow dancing. Something stirred up in your stomach and your chest, you almost felt like throwing up or screaming with excitement while the two of you enjoyed the slow, intimate moment.

The world quite literally disappeared and nothing mattered but the two of you. You could love again, you were becoming more and more sure of it.

Hyunjin kept kissing you and holding you during the 10 minutes before you had to take out the quiche. His hands never left you even while you waited for it too cool down a little.

"Oh. This is amazing." you said after tasting it.

"We did it together." he smiled. "It's very close to tarte flambée, but one day hopefully you can try the original thing."

"I hope so too." you said and the two of you continued eating.

After dinner, you helped clean up and Hyunjin took you to his room where he had a working space for painting.

"When I said earlier that something else got me out of that slump... it was you." Hyunjin admitted, his cheeks red.

"Me?" your eyes widened.

"Please, don't be creeped out." Hyunjin sighed as he took out a few canvases, all of them having one thing in common - you and your silk.

"Wow." you let out a chuckle.

"You inspired me a lot. You're my muse." he said, his hand on your cheek.

"I am?" you asked and he nodded as the two of you sat down on his bed, still holding yout glasses of wine, the last drops left from the bottle.

"Two years ago I went through a bad breakup. It left my heart completely shattered, so much so I thought I'd never paint or love again. But then I accidentally went to the theater and saw you perform. You looked unreal, you still do whenever you dance, even when you just sit here in front of me, y/n." Hyunjin said and your heart started beating faster. "I started painting again after seeing you performing, showing your art to the world."

"Hyunjin, that's so sweet." you swooned and he giggled.

"It is?" his brows shot up and you nodded quickly.

"Mhm. Adorable." you smirked, putting your glass on the nightstand as well as Hyunjin's. His lips parted as you turned back around to look at him, your eyes filling up with lust and hunger.

You grabbed his face, kissing him as you sat in his lap. Hyunjin's hands landed on your hips immediately as he pulled you closer to his body, hands sliding to your ass as he gripped at you.

You kissed until you had to part for breath all the while Hyunjin grabbed at your ass and hips.

"You're so addicting, darling." he looked at you with hooded eyelids.

"You are too." you said, placing your palms against his chest and pushing him down.

Hyunjin gasped as he let himself fall, his hands on either side of his head as he looked up at you sweetly. You leaned over him, moving some hair out of his face as he blinked at you.

"So pretty." you praised him and he reveled in your words and your touch as you slid your hand on his neck down to his chest and navel then back up again, brushing against his nipples.

Hyunjin started breathing harder the more you touched him, your hands dipping under his shirt. He kept looking at you as your hands explored his soft skin, his abs, his waist to his chest as you started playing with his nipples. Hyunjin whimpered quietly, his hands clenched into fists as he lifted his hips into yours. You could feel he was getting excited already.

You slowly started grinding against him as you pinched his nipples, making Hyunjin groan while he matched your pace.

"Y/n." he whimpered, his hands gripping at your thighs.

"Hyunjin." you placed your hands on his neck and his eyes fluttered as he leaned into your touch.

It was incredibly sexy to see such a beautiful man giving himself to you so eagerly.

You stopped your movements just to leave kisses on his neck and collarbone, taking your time to press your lips into every beauty mark you could find. You took his shirt off and continued kissing his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and closed his eyes.

He opened them when you brushed your lips against his nipple before pressing your tongue against it and playing with him.

"Mm, darling." Hyunjin whined, arching into you, his hands going up and down on your back, moving more desperately with each swipe of your tongue.

You kissed down to his stomach as he kept shivering against you, his hand caressing your head. You looked up at him as you placed your lips on his happy trail and Hyunjin gasped a little, his dick twitching in his pants.

"Oh god." he groaned when you licked at the happy trail before pressing a kiss to his clothed tip. "Please."

You smirked, leaning back and unbuttoning his pants. You slid them down, looking at his cock almost bursting out of his boxers. Hyunjin watched your hand as you gripped him through his underwear before palming him shortly.

"Fuck." he cursed, pushing into your hand as he tried desperately to get any kind of friction.

"Don't worry, I'll make you feel good." you whispered, hooking your fingers in his boxers and pulling them down. Hyunjin whined as his cock slapped his stomach, shutting his eyes tightly when you giggled in delight.

"Mm, do what you want darling." he groaned.

You pressed your finger into his slit, smearing the pre cum and teasing him as he opened his eyes and whined. You slid between his legs, leaning down and pressing your lips to his inner thighs, your free hand gently fondling his balls as your other massaged his tip.

"Ah, fuck!" Hyunjin's hips jerked, his thighs trembling while you stimulated him. "Keep going." he begged, his hand tangling in your hair, the other gripping at the sheet beneath him.

Your lips came closer to his cock and his breath hitched as you pressed them on the base of it. He leaned up a little to look at you and you smirked at him, wanting to worship him and tease him all at once. He looked so adorable with his face flushed and his eyebrows furrowed, lips swollen and his legs spread. You pressed gentle kisses into his cock, following the vein to the tip as you slowly traveled up, making him twitch every time you touched him. Hyunjin gasped quietly as you licked at the vein before dipping your tongue into his slit, tasting the salty pre cum and then swirling your tongue around the head.

"Oh god." Hyunjin groaned again as he gripped at your hair. You whimpered quietly, your eyes fluttering as you wrapped your lips around his tip. "Sweet girl." he moaned, ruining the little makeshift bun you had from when the two of you were cooking.

That spurred you on so you slid down, taking more of him in and enjoying his taste and the heaviness of him on your tongue. You gripped the base as you squeezed his balls lightly, sucking on him harder and Hyunjin's hips jerked up involuntarily.

A string of curses left his lips as he pulled on your hair. You moaned around him, sucking on him faster and enjoying the pretty moans that were falling out of his mouth. You wanted to hear more of him, you wanted to drive him crazy, have him shiver against your face while you milked him dry.

Hyunjin started shivering the faster you went, using your hands, your lips and tongue to bring him to the edge. He thrashed against the bed, hips lifting up into you and making you gag around him as he fisted the sheets.

"I- I can't!" he moaned out but you didn't stop.

Hyunjin moaned desperately as he exploded, filling your mouth up with his warm cum as you swallowed every last drop, overstimulating him a little until you were sure he was completely limp.

"Fucking hell." he let out a chuckle of disbelief. "You did so well." he added as you hovered over him with a cheeky smile. Before you could answer he pulled you in for a kiss, tasting himself on your tongue and moaning into your mouth. He stripped you slowly as he still came down from his high, his lips pressed into every inch of exposed skin they could find. He rolled over so he was on top, detaching from your lips to take a good look at you.

You were ready this time, wearing a nice set of black and red lacy lingerie and Hyunjin chuckled.

"No 'Finally Sunday' panties?" he teased and you laughed, smacking his arm as your face warmed up.

"Shut up, oh my god." the two of you laughed as he scooped you up on his arms, hugging you tightly.

You held each other for a few moments before he gently laid you down again. You let him take off your bra and his hands caressed your body softly.

"Thank you for dressing up for me but I like you much more when you're all natural." Hyunjin smirked, sliding your panties off.

"Well, here I am." you said nervously, his room being brighter than the car.

"Gorgeous." he licked at his lips as he looked at you. "Do you trust me?" he reached towards his nightstand, opening the drawer.

Your lips parted as you stared into his warm, sweet eyes.

"I do." you whispered and Hyunjin smiled.

"Close your eyes, ma chérie." he said and you did so, anticipation building in your stomach. Hyunjin's spent cock twitched at your compliance. He watched your chest rise and fall with every breath you took as he grabbed the blindfold in the drawer. You felt the soft fabric on your face and gasped as he wrapped it around your eyes and tied it.

"Stop me any time, okay?" he said, his thumb swiping over your lips slowly.

"Mhm." you nodded.

You had no idea what he was going to do, where he was going to touch you but you knew he was searching for something as you heard him rummage through the drawer.

"Relax, my sweet." Hyunjin smirked as you wriggled around, gripping at the pillow under your head.

You waited with bated breath and then you felt it pressed against your nipple. You gasped when your mind registered it, Hyunjin had found a clean soft brush to tease you with. A whimper escaped your lips as he moved the soft bristles up and down your sensitive nipple, changing it to left and right movement as you shivered.

He leaned in closer, his warm breath hitting your face as he continued slowly torturing your nipples, the touch was so gentle that it left you craving more, driving you completely insane as you gushed arousal from your core.

Hyunjin smirked, enjoying seeing you like this as he nosed at your cheek before kissing you softly. He leaned back and took one of your hands in his, pressing a kiss to your wrist and you moaned as he sped up the movements on your nipples.

Hyunjin's lips danced on your skin as they traveled up your arm and you were becoming breathless. Hyunjin could see and smell your arousal and it was making him feel intoxicated, his cock reacting to you right away. Suddenly, all the stimulation was taken away and you whined.

"Shh. I got you." Hyunjin shushed you, before you felt his tongue against your nipple. A little moan escaped your lips as he played with you, taking your nipple in his mouth and sucking on it. You wished so badly you could see his face and his lips wrapped around your bud.

Hyunjin's hands slid up your inner thighs to your throbbing pussy and he spread you apart, his thumb finding your clit immediately.

"Ah!" you moaned, jolting as he slid his thumb against your sensitive clit. "H-Hyunjin!"

He sucked on your breast harder, one of his hands holding your pussy open to expose your clit as he grabbed the brush again, moving it in circles against your bud.

"Oh!" you whimpered, shaking as he attacked your clit with fast movements, now giving your other breast attention too. "Please!" you begged as he dipped the brush into your wetness, gathering it and bringing it to your clit again.

"Tell me what you need, chérie." he whispered, kissing your nipple.

"More." you groaned as he smirked.

"Patience, my darling." he chuckled before continuing his ministrations. You were a whimpering, shaking mess with just the little stimulation he was giving you. Hyunjin noticed the goosebumps rising on your skin so he pressed into you harder, moving the brush faster as your slick coated it completely.

"Hyunjin!" you grabbed at his arm, digging your nails into his biceps.

"Let go for me." he kissed your neck gently a few times before pecking your lips. You moved your hips in tandem with his hand, bringing yourself to ecstasy as you came, moaning his name. Hyunjin played with your clit until you were whimpering and closing your legs around his hand.

He finally threw the brush aside before taking off the blindfold. You blinked a few times while your eyes adjusted to the light.

"I need to taste you." Hyunjin looked almost crazed with lust and a wave of warmness passed through your body.

"Yes." you whispered breathlessly. He kissed all the way down to your pussy before spreading it apart again and pushing his tongue inside instantly, making you whimper and jolt.

"Oh wow!" you exclaimed as he started eating you out immediately, his tongue fucking in and out of your wet hole, lips slurping at your essence and nose brushing against your clit.

Hyunjin gripped at the back of your thighs, pushing your legs down to spread them more as he continued making out with your pussy, moaning into you as you whimpered loudly, gripping at his hair and pressing his head against you.

"F-fuck, Hyunjin!" you whimpered as tears of pleasure gathered in your eyes.

"You taste the sweetest, ma chérie." he said lustfully before sucking on your clit, his fingers pressing against your folds. You urged him on with your moans and the way you pulled on his hair, giving him just enough pain that made him hard. Hyunjin couldn't help pressing his cock against the mattress to feel some kind of relief. He pushed his two of fingers inside you, fucking you as his tongue lapped at your swollen clit.

Your moaning got louder and Hyunjin almost came on the spot just from your taste and the sounds you were making for him. He scissored his fingers inside you, his other hang gripping your thigh. You looked down at him and the image of him rutting against the mattress while he pleased you made you come undone as you exploded, squirting on him and gasping in shock.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" you felt embarrassed when you saw his face covered in you.

"For what, darling? That was so hot." he wiped at his face before leaning down to give you a few more kitten licks and a few kisses to your clit.

"It was?" you shook a little.

"Yes, I can't get enough of you. Will you let me have you completely?" Hyunjin looked at you with eyes full of lust as he hovered over you, his tip pressing against your wet folds.

"Please, I need you." you whimpered and Hyunjin smiled before grabbing his cock and running the tip all over your entrance, giving attention to your clit and slapping it a few times with his tip.

You moaned, arching into him as he leaned over you, kissing you passionately while he pushed in.

"Slowly, please, it's been a while." you whispered, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and looking down at where he was disappearing inside you.

"Of course." his voice was strained as he held back, spreading you open slowly like a delicate flower blossoming. You wrapped around him snuggly and perfectly, sucking him in as he kept pushing further.

He made you look at him as he bottomed out, both of you moaning. Hyunjin wrapped his arms around you as you clung onto him like a koala, inhaling his scent and kissing his ear and neck. He giggled as he played with your hair and caressed the back of your neck.

"You can move." you whispered as you kissed his cheek.

"Mm, darling." Hyunjin groaned as he started moving his hips languidly, making you feel every inch of his hardness inside your warm core.

"You feel perfect around me, my angel, my muse." he praised you, fucking you slowly. You opened up your legs completely and he grabbed one of them, putting it over his shoulder as he leaned down to kiss you.

"You feel perfect inside me, too." you groaned as his tip pressed into your sweet spot. "T-there!" you whimpered, trying to grab at him.

Hyunjin fucked you a little harder but still slowly, taking his time as he leaned back a little to kiss the side of your leg, down to your ankle, the gentle kisses driving you insane as he spread you open with his cock. You were almost making some kind of half split and you were thankful that you were flexible so you could feel Hyunjin buried deep inside you.

He gripped your foot, kissing the side of it as he looked at you hungrily.

"Darling." he whined, pushing your knees to your shoulders. "I wanna be inside you forever." Hyunjin groaned, fucking you harder as his hips slapped against your ass.

"Ah, please Hyunjin!" you cried out, your mind almost completely gone as he brought you pleasure like you've never felt before.

"Please what?" he smirked a little his hands grabbing at your breasts and massaging them.

"Harder, please!" you whimpered.

"Harder, huh?" he kept smirking as he pressed you down as started fucking harder into you, bringing his entire weight onto your core. You shook as you moaned his name loudly, exploding around his cock and Hyunjin twitched inside you.

"Gonna cum too." he whimpered, scrunching his face up in pleasure.

"Inside me." you breathed out, eyes rolling back from pleasure.

"Are you sure?" his eyes widened a little as he looked at you, all spread out for him.

"I'm sure." you wrapped your legs around him, bringing him closer, your hands on his back. Hyunjin gripped at your hips and buried his face in your neck, fucking harder into you as his teeth sank into your skin.

"A-ah!" you moaned louder and louder, Hyunjin's hips stuttering as he started moaning into your ear before he gripped at you tightly and exploded, burying his warm cum deep inside you, riding his high as he kept fucking into you.

"My darling." he said it so sweetly as you held onto each other, both of you sweaty, wet and breathless. Your ears were ringing, your legs cramping and it took you a moment to even realize that music was playing from his living room this entire time.

"Stay with me. Sleep here, I wanna hold you in my arms." he said as he kissed you.

"I'll stay." you smiled, caressing his face and moving the hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead. Hyunjin looked at you cutely, that lovesick look on his face again before he slid out of you and laid his cheek on your breast.

"Let's just stay like this for a moment." he whispered.

"Okay." you said, carding your fingers though his hair.

He was like a comfort blanket on top of you and despite all the stickiness between you, you almost fell asleep.

"Hey, don't fall asleep yet, chérie." Hyunjin lifted his head up to look at you. "We still have dessert left."

"I thought this was the dessert." you giggled and he smirked.

"It was. Special kind of dessert." he wiggled his eyebrows. "But no, I bought crème brûlée for us. I wanted to make it but I don't think they'd taste very good so..." he trailed off and you chuckled.

"You're so sweet, Hyun." you whispered, caressing his head.

"I think that's you, especially after tasting you." Hyunjin smirked, tickling your sides and making you laugh.

"Shut up." you groaned in embarrassment, covering your face.

"We should clean up, pretty." he said, kissing your wrists and hands.

"Yeah, um, I didn't bring anything for a sleepover." you uncovered your face as Hyunjin sat up and pulled you up with him.

"You didn't want to spend the night?" he pouted and you shook your head.

"I didn't want to impose on you." you played with your fingers as Hyunjin gently placed his hand on your knee, caressing you with his thumb.

"I invited you over, you're not imposing at all. I'm looking forward to having you next to me all night."

"Well then, I'm looking forward to being here with you." you whispered as he pressed his lips against yours.

"I'll give you some clothes to sleep in. And I definitely have a spare toothbrush somewhere." he said as the two of you made your way to his bathroom. You chuckled as you walked in and saw different paintings on the walls, most of them chipped and unrecognizable.

"Ignore that." Hyunjin's cheeks got rosy as he led you to the shower.

He adjusted the temperature of the water and kept turning to look at you. You were rubbing your ring finger subconsciously again before you noticed he was looking at you.

"What?" you smiled, your face heating up.

"You're so gorgeous." he said, pulling you towards his body.

You had barely managed to shower with both of your wandering hands as you kept touching each other and kissing, after years of being touch starved it felt right to be skin against skin.

Hyunjin brought you a clean pair of his boxers and the shirt with the sleeping doggy.

"Here." he smirked and you chuckled, smacking his ass with the shirt as he laughed, trying to dodge and run into the kitchen. You got dressed and followed him, feeling so relaxed and cozy.

"I'm ready for a snack actually." you said and he agreed, taking out the sweet crème brûlée. "I have chocolate milk." he said and you giggled.

"Sure, why not." you shrugged and the two of you sat down to eat.

"These are good." you commented. "Not as good as the real thing probably." you added and Hyunjin shook his head.

"Nowhere near." he spoke with his mouth full, his lips pouty and you giggled, putting your hand on his face and wiping the creme off his lips before licking it off of your thumb.

Hyunjin's face flushed as he looked at you, pinching your cheek quickly to tease you and you swatted your hand at him, letting out a noise of protest. He laughed, enjoying the simple and sweet moment you shared.

"Are you sleepy?" he asked after you got ready for bed.

"Yes and no." you shrugged.

"Me too. I kinda don't wanna go to sleep yet because morning will come faster and you'll have to leave." Hyunjin pouted.

"I don't want to leave yet." you shook your head.

Hyunjin suggested watching a movie, so the two of you got comfy in his bed, him wrapping all his limbs around you and pressing his cheek against your breast. It was sweet, having him so close and caressing his head, back and arm as he touched your waist and tummy. You had changed the sheets earlier, everything was fresh, the place was warmed up and the tv was playing some random movie that neither of you really paid attention to.

Hyunjin felt so blissfully happy in that moment and he wanted to have you impossibly closer, he wished he could crawl inside your heart and sleep in there. He did actually almost fall asleep in your arms as you comforted him with your touches. The voices on the tv seemed louder and his eyes snapped open.

"Y/n?" he called out, nuzzling into your chest.

"Yes?" you whispered.

"I'm glad you're here." he kissed your collarbone before looking up at you sweetly.

"Me too." you smiled.

Hyunjin got cozy again and you looked back at the tv but he was suddenly awake so he started talking. For some reason, you weren't too sleepy either so Hyunjin and you spent hours just talking about random things, your high school days, funny accidents while you danced, how he had managed to hide his identity as a painter... There was always something new to talk about, from the most useless debates to the most profound thoughts about life. You enjoyed talking to Hyunjin as much as you enjoyed kissing him and having him inside you.

It was almost 4am when your eyelids got heavy but Hyunjin sat up.

"I just remembered a song." he said.

"A song?" you asked and Hyunjin scrambled to get up before playing I Melt With You.

"Come on, dance with me!" he urged you on and you started laughing.

"Hyunjin, it's like 4am." you kept chuckling as he started dancing around.

"I know, just the right time to do this! Come on, get up baby!" he grabbed your hands, moving them up and down.

"Oh god." you couldn't stop laughing as Hyunjin pulled you out of the bed.

You danced like idiots, spinning and spinning without a care in the world and almost bumping into furniture as you squealed and laughed. The world spun around you and you toppled over together, with you on top of him.

Then the world seemed to stop as the song faded away and was replaced with a silence. Hyunjin reached up to put your hair behind your ear.

"Kiss me, chérie." he said and you giggled, pressing your lips into his.

"We should sleep now at least." you said when you parted.

"Okay, I guess we need to. Are you gonna stay for breakfast?" Hyunjin asked.

"I will." you smiled.

"Sweet." he chuckled.

The two of you got comfortable under the blankets as Hyunjin spooned you, pressing himself against your body and sneaking his hand into your shirt to hold your breast.

"Bonne nuit, mon cœur." he whispered against your hair as you drifted off into dreamland.

-

You haven't slept this well in so long that you woke up wondering what year it was. Feeling Hyunjin pressed up against you, being wrapped up in his warmth and his scent made you feel so cozy. You laid there for a moment, just waking up and enjoying the slow morning. You had an urge to look at Hyunjin so you turned around in his arms carefully, your eyes landing on his sleeping face.

He looked so peaceful and cute, his pouty lips parted as he nuzzled closer to you. Your heart swelled at the sight of him and you started caressing his head. Hyunjin's eyes fluttered open after some time and as soon as he saw you, he smiled, closing his eyes again in delight.

"Good morning, angel." he muttered and you chuckled quietly.

"Good morning." you said.

"Slept well?" he asked, pushing his face into your neck, his breath tickling you.

"Yes, you?" you held him tighter.

"So good." Hyunjin pressed his lips to your neck, giving you small kisses, his lips brushing against the sore spot where he had sucked a mark last night.

Your lips pressed against his forehead and you felt him smile against your skin. You enjoyed the quiet moment, almost falling back asleep until Hyunjin's stomach growled. You leaned back to look at him and his eyes widened before he laughed cutely, his cheeks red.

"I think someone's hungry." you poked his stomach and he swatted at your hand and then grabbed your wrist pulling you on top of him as he laid on his back.

"Hungry for you, ma chérie." he grabbed your face and kissed you as you giggled into his mouth.

"Cheesy." you commented and he rolled his eyes playfully, kissing you again.

Eventually you did get out of bed and made some toast and a cup of coffee.

"It snowed all night." you noticed as you stood up and looked out the window, holding your cup. Hyunjin came up behind you immediately wrapping his arms around your middle as he leaned his chin on your shoulder.

"Yeah, it's probably really cold outside. So you can just stay here." he said, inhaling your scent and closing his eyes.

"I wish I could but I have rehearsals all afternoon." you sighed, caressing his hand.

"Mm let's cancel everything and just be together." Hyunjin kissed you neck with a smile.

"That's not how life works." you chuckled, putting your cup down and wiggling to turn around so you can look at him.

"Blah." Hyunjin faked disgust as you laughed at his scrunched up face. You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him.

"We can see each other again soon." you said.

"How soon?" he asked and you chuckled.

"Soon." you said as he huffed.

You changed into your clothes and Hyunjin barely let you leave out the door, hugging you and kissing you until you were out on the street. You had also finally exchanged numbers, something you had forgotten to do earlier and promised each other that you'll call.

Hyunjin waited until the cab you called drove you away and when he came back up to his apartment, he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. The entire place was full of you, your laughter, your voice, your touches. The bed was unmade and it smelled like you. Hyunjin wanted to drown in it. He couldn't wait to see you again.

It was here. The day you had dreaded and avoided to think about. You felt the impending doom as it approached but you tried to ignore the gnawing feeling inside your guts making it's way up slowly and wrapping around your heart.

You had locked yourself in your apartment for the last three days, calling the dance studio and telling them you're sick. The curtains were pulled over your windows completely, drowning you in darkness. You had no will to get up or answer to any of the calls and texts you've been getting. You saw that they were mostly from Hyunjin but you couldn't face him right now, if you did you'd fall apart completely.

It had been exactly four years since your life stopped, four years since you quit believing, since you lost all hope. Hyunjin had been the only person to awaken something inside you since then but in your darkest moments, you thought he's better off without you. The baggage you were dragging around was like shackles around your ankles, making it hard to climb out of the pit you had long made home in. The tears wouldn't stop coming as you thought about your past and the pain you felt that still teared you apart, albeit less than before but you were convinced it would never go away entirely.

You thought about Hyunjin and how sweet he is, how loving he seems to be, how much he apparently likes you. It scared you more than anything, the thought of what could be something beautiful, only to be lost one day, taken away from you like it already was once before.

You sank deeper into the darkness.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin was scared too. You haven't been answering his messages or returning his calls for a few days now. He kept replaying that night you spent at his place, trying to find a hint that would let him know why you were avoiding him. But, he couldn't find a reason other than maybe you just didn't want to see him again, maybe when you got home you realized you only wanted it to be a one time thing. Maybe you didn't want him like he wanted you. But still, some kind of gut feeling was telling him something else was wrong.

Hyunjin mentally prepared himself for your rejection as he got dressed, deciding to go look for you at your place.

You were lying on your couch, absentmindedly staring through the tv, not even looking at what was happening on the screen when you heard your bell ringing. You groaned quietly, burying your nose further into your blankets. The ringing persisted, followed by a series of knocks.

"Go away." you muttered quietly.

"Y/n, it's me. Please open the door." you heard a muffled voice, recognizing it instantly. Your eyes went wide for a moment as you contemplated.

You didn't want Hyunjin to see you at your worst but something pulled at your heartstrings as you heard the desperation in his voice. Your legs led you to the door. You needed him, you really needed him.

The door opened just as Hyunjin was about to knock again, his hand lifted up mid-air. He gasped when he saw you looking pale and tired. You looked at him wordlessly as you gently grabbed his wrist and pulled him in, pushing the door closed at the same time.

"Hyunjin." you fell into his arms, your face buried in his chest instantly as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Shh." Hyunjin soothed you as you gripped at him, your hands grabbing at his winter coat. You stood like that, just melting into each other for a few moments as Hyunjin looked around, seeing your curtains pulled all the way together, your apartment a mess.

"Mon cœur, what's wrong?" he asked as he leaned back, taking your face in his arms and making you look at him.

You shook your head as tears gathered in your eyes. Hyunjin took his coat off quickly and led you to your couch so the two of you could sit down. As soon as you got there, Hyunjin's eyes fell on the coffee table. He tilted his head as he picked up the framed picture, examining it. His eyes widened when he noticed it was you with another man, the picture obviously being a wedding photo, you in a white dress and the man in a suit as the two of you smiled at each other while holding hands.

"You're married?" Hyunjin's brows furrowed.

"I was. My husband... he passed away four years ago." you swallowed as Hyunjin looked up at you, sadness in his eyes.

"Y/n. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." Hyunjin grabbed your hand quickly, wanting to soothe you. That's why you always rubbed your ring finger subconsciously, he thought, you were probably self-soothing, a habit you had playing with your ring when you used to wear it.

"It happened so suddenly. Everything was so quick, we had no time to react. We had been drinking that night with friends. Of course we had a stupid argument on the way home and the last things I said to him were hateful. He yelled, I yelled back. He lost control of the wheel and we swerved, it happened in a matter of seconds, so fast that I didn't even realize what was going on. Not until the car stopped spinning and I laid there and just saw him all... bloody and lifeless. I'll never forget that, he took his last breath and he was gone, ripped away from me just like that. I always blamed myself, why didn't I suggest taking a cab? Why did I pick a fight over him not washing some dirty dishes, something so insignificant in hindsight. Why didn't I die with him?" you sobbed as you told Hyunjin everything, finally letting it out after holding your thoughts back for years.

"Y/n, I can't even imagine the pain you went through and I'm so sorry but you have to know that it was an accident, it is not your fault. Sadly, these things happen and we have no control over them." Hyunjin held your hands in his, caressing your skin with his thumbs.

"I know and that scares me. What if it happens again?" you swallowed, looking at him.

"What if it doesn't? We can't live in fear like that, we'd never get out of the house and do anything. You have to take a leap of faith in life. Otherwise you'll just be stuck in the same rut over and over again. Take a chance. With me." he smiled a little, wiping your tears away gently.

"I come with so much baggage, Hyunjin. I have loved so much once that a piece of my heart will always be his."

"I'm okay with that." Hyunjin nodded. "I've loved and lost before too. Not that I can compare it to what you went through but a piece of my heart was taken away when my ex left me too. But we have a whole lot of heart left to feel again, don't we?"

"I guess we do." you sniffled. "What now?"

"Now, we open up the curtains and let the sun in."

Tears brimmed in your eyes again as you threw your arms around Hyunjin and hugged him tightly, a choked sob escaping your lips.

"It's okay, I'm here." he held the back of your head with his hand, his other hand moving in soothing circles on your upper back. Having him in your presence was like you had taken a happy pill, the fear, worry and sadness slowly traveling further and further away from your aching heart.

When you parted, Hyunjin stood up and pulled the curtains open slowly, making you whine a little.

"Come see." he beckoned you to come closer and you reluctantly stood up to join him, your eyes still adjusting to the brightness.

"What am I looking at?" you asked as he grabbed your hand, bringing it to his face and pressing a sweet kiss into your skin.

"The snow is almost melted." he whispered, his lips lingering on your skin. You chuckled and he smiled, pulling you into a hug.

Hyunjin was sweet and gentle with you, helping you clean up your apartment and cook a nice warm meal. He distracted you with all the funny stories he could remember just to lift up your spirits.

"You know what always helps me relax? A nice, warm bath." he smiled.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get me naked?" you smirked, your mood better than before.

"Oh my sweet, I could get you naked any time I want." he winked and you laughed as your face heated up, your stomach fluttering.

"Mhm." you mumbled with an embarrassed smile.

"Tell me I'm wrong." he leaned in closer to your face, his hands on your thighs as he looked up at you after you tried to hide away from him.

"You're not." you said and he smirked playfully, giggling and pecking your lips.

Together, you prepared the bath and the mood in the bathroom as you lit up some scented candles and dimmed the lights.

"Fancy." Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows, making you laugh.

You checked the temperature of the water and Hyunjin stood behind you, pushing his hands under your shirt and caressing your back.

"Ah! Cold hands!" you jumped a little but still leaned into his touch.

"I'm trying to warm them up." he smirked, his hands running over your stomach to your breasts as he cupped them, massaging them lightly.

"Mhm, right." you shivered against him. "Let's get undressed."

"Don't need to tell me twice." Hyunjin kissed your jaw before he leaned back, getting rid of his clothes. You did the same as Hyunjin watched you, his eyes filling up with hunger. He got in first and then spread his legs to make room for you.

"Lean against me." he reached his hand out to you and you got in slowly, sitting between his legs and leaning your back on his chest.

"You know how you said my dancing inspired you to paint?" you said quietly and Hyunjin hummed, tracing patterns into your waist and stomach with his fingers.

"Your paintings gave me hope to keep going." you whispered as you leaned your head on Hyunjin's shoulder and looked up at him. The meaning of your confession made Hyunjin squeeze you tighter against him.

"Y/n..." he whispered as you sat up, finding it hard to look at his face all of a sudden. Hyunjin leaned in closer and brushed his lips on your shoulder as you kept talking.

"It was really hard to find an ounce of strength to even get up in the morning. I was wondering why should I even keep going, you know. Nothing made sense anymore, it's like that person is there and you're so used to it that you forget to appreciate the fact that you have them in your life. But once they're gone you realize just how much you had, and then suddenly your life is completely different than it was before. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore, anything that brought me happiness until then just became bleak." you stopped to take a breath and wipe your tears as Hyunjin held you and listened, his chin on your shoulder.

"I walked past your gallery many times but for some reason I never really paid much attention to it. And then one day I went for a walk just to escape how I was feeling inside the apartment. Something pulled me to go inside suddenly, I just had to see. I remember the name of the exhibition too, it was called 'On the wings of love' and all the paintings were just so uplifting and gave a feeling of pure love, something I had in my palms but it slipped through my fingers. It hurt to look at the paintings but it hurt in a good way because it gave me hope that it still exists and that someone out there has what I had." you explained. "And now after meeting you, I realized I saw you in the gallery that night but you never noticed me. You were standing there with someone, looking at the paintings as the two of you laughed. You passed by me before leaving out the door and I remember being slightly jealous of what you seemed to have."

Hyunjin's breath tickled your skin as he kissed your shoulder and neck gently.

"Doesn't it seem like fate?" he said. "Like we were meant to find each other. I think everything happens for a reason as shitty as that seems sometimes. You found hope inside the exhibition I painted for my ex, you saw me there with... him. Life is kind of ironic like that, it seems. I thought I had it all too but then he just left me like I was nothing." you grabbed Hyunjin's hands, caressing them.

"I met him in Paris. He was there for a modeling job and I happened to attend fashion week. I saw him on the runway and thought I was hallucinating an angel. But he was far from that. Of course everything was wonderful in the beginning but the more time that passed the more he started to neglect me. He always found some excuse, mostly it was his job. He worked all the time, long hours and trips. I asked to join him on his trips since I can literally paint from anywhere but he'd find some new excuse saying he wouldn't have free time to spend with me since he'd be working the entire trip. And then there'd be pictures of him out drinking and stuff, being handsy with other people. I don't know if he ever actually cheated on me and I don't want to know but it hurt so bad. I watched him fall out of love and it was my worst fear coming to life right in front of my eyes. I knew he was going to leave and yet when he actually did it, I felt like my world had crumbled into pieces."

You turned a little to look at Hyunjin, seeing his eyes filling up with tears and your heart hurt.

"How could someone fall out of love with you?" you whispered and Hyunjin stopped talking, his eyes widened slightly as he searched your face. You leaned in and kissed the tears that slid down his cheeks. His lips broke into a smile as his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned his forehead against yours.

"Kiss me." he said quietly and you grabbed his face, kissing him with everything you have. Hyunjin pulled you closer, the water sloshing around you as you grabbed at each other.

When you parted, you were breathless, your hands squeezing at his shoulders and his wrapped around your waist.

"I'm glad we talked about this." you said and he nodded.

"Me too." Hyunjin smiled as you played with his hair, leaning in to peck his lips a few times before leaving sweet kisses all over his face. Hyunjin started giggling at your attack of affection as your lips found his cheek, his nose, his eyelids.

"Let me wash your hair." you whispered against his lips.

"Okay." he whispered back, kissing the corner of your lips.

You turned completely so you were facing him, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pulled you closer. You grabbed your shampoo as his hair was already wet and Hyunjin looked at you with a soft smile on his face. With your hands tangled in his hair, you started massaging his head.

Hyunjin hummed, closing his eyes, his hands traveling up towards your chest. He opened his eyes and grabbed your breasts, squeezing them and you chuckled.

"Hyunjin." you warned him playfully.

"What? They're there." he teased with a smirk, his thumbs rubbing your nipples as he cupped your breasts. Your hands stuttered a little as arousal built within you. Hyunjin decided to stop distracting you and just relax while your gentle hands massaged his head. The intimate and quiet moment between you felt like a dream, like you had to pinch yourself to see if it was really happening.

Hyunjin couldn't stay still for too long as he started teasing you and playing with the bubbles, making you laugh at him as you rinsed his hair.

"Quit squirming, you'll get shampoo in your eyes." you chuckled.

"Sorry." Hyunjin pouted, staying still for another moment as you finished up.

"There. All done." you said, caressing his head.

"Thank you for that." Hyunjin said, gently kissing your lips.

"Of course." you whispered, the two of you exchanging kisses until you were almost breathless. You turned around in his arms as he offered to wash your back, wanting to soothe you more. He was definitely getting excited as were you and the gentle touch on your back as well as him kissing your neck and shoulder whenever he could kept making you more needy for him.

"Hyunjin." his name felt like a prayer as he pulled you flush against him and you felt him pressing against your backside.

"My darling." he breathed out, grabbing your legs and pulling them over his so you were spread open for him. A whimper escaped your lips as you leaned back on his shoulder, your neck exposed. He kissed the side of it, licking at the droplets of water before sinking his teeth into your flesh. You moaned while his hands kneaded your breasts and pinched your sensitive nipples.

"I need you." you moaned as he licked at the love bite he created on your skin.

"I got you, pretty." he whispered in your ear, hand sliding between your legs. Anticipation bubbled up inside you as Hyunjin gently touched your inner thighs. He squeezed your flesh a little before his hand cupped your pussy, making you whine. He shushed you, kissing your jaw and pressing at your clit, playing with it gently. His other hand was busy on your chest, pinching and pulling at your nipples. Your eyes were closed as you let go completely, leaving everything in Hyunjin's hands. His lips never left your neck as he slowly slid his fingertips between your folds.

Your breath hitched as soon as he pushed in, spreading you open with his pretty fingers.

"Ah!" you moaned, pulling your legs up more so you could grab at his thighs. Hyunjin pressed you closer to him as he slowly started moving his fingers inside you, his other hand now on your clit.

"Hyunjin." you moaned, your nails digging into him.

"Say my name, mon cœur. Let me hear you." he whispered against your ear as he kept kissing your neck, fingers moving faster and harder.

"Hyunjin!" you kept moaning his name like it was the only word you knew in that moment and he kept fucking into you faster, his other hand flicking your clit quickly, all of the commotion making the water slosh around and splash on your floor. You didn't give a damn in that moment, all you cared about was Hyunjin.

Sweet Hyunjin who did everything tonight to make you feel better, to lift you out of the slump you were in, to make you forget about the pain.

Your legs trembled, almost closing around his hand as you whimpered loudly and came, arching your chest while Hyunjin watched you trembling against him, thinking how fucking beautiful you looked in that moment, completely and utterly his.

"Oh." you gasped when he pulled his fingers out, still playing with your clit gently and Hyunjin chuckled at your cute habit of gasping like that.

"I think we should get out of this water now." you scrunched your face up and Hyunjin laughed, jostling your body a little.

"It's getting cold anyways." he agreed.

The two of you got in the shower and the water ran down your bodies as you held each other.

"What about you?" you whispered while Hyunjin caressed your back.

"Don't worry about me tonight." he said.

"But I want to make you feel good." you looked up at him and he smiled.

"You're already doing that." he kissed you passionately, his tongue dancing inside your mouth, exploring and tasting. The two of you kept kissing and touching the entire time as you showered. You didn't even notice how tired and exhausted you were from being sad for days but Hyunjin noticed and that's why he didn't want you to worry about him tonight. After finally getting dry and warm, Hyunjin ordered some food for the two of you, cuddling you while you waited.

"Hey, don't fall asleep just yet." he giggled as you were practically already sleeping on his chest.

"Sorry." you mumbled sleepily.

You ate in a daze and when you finally got comfortable in your bed, Hyunjin wrapped his body around you.

"Sleep, my sweet. I'll be here in the morning." he whispered sweetly, kissing your cheek.

Everything will be okay.

~ part 2

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @schniti-is-in-the-house @eastjonowhere @sona1800 @channiesrightasscheek @justwonder113 @yvettemint @inaribu00 @httpdwaekki @possum-playground @ria-april @yn-x-them @mariahxrrera @0omillo0 @halfwinterhalfuniverse @cooldeermagazine @delulkpopstan143 @todorokiskitten @compersian @azxulskz

[horangare]

lucky girl

pairing : model!jeonghan x fem!reader

content : smut (mdni), angst, fluff, fake dating, unrequited (but not rlly) love, friends to strangers to lovers

in which : jeonghan has no interest in a relationship, however it seems that everyone else is sticking their nose into his nonexistent love life. you’ve been in love with him for as long as you can remember, but that was ages ago. he shouldn’t remember someone like you, but he does. and he wants you to be his girlfriend (just for a little while though, right?)

warnings : public sex TWICE (this mf fucks u everywhere but a BED), couch sex (see what i mean???), oral (m & f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe i’m begging), idiots in love vibes like so strongly you two are dorks fr, dirty talk, y’all want each other so bad, praise, cockiness, like one innuendo, a bunch of other idols make features in this (twice, txt, le sserafim, and svt ofc), mentions of rehab, crying, “arguing”, jealousy, pining and yearning and things of that nature

wc : 14.9K words

note : this took me so much longer than i thought it would but it’s finally here 😭😭 written from this request

Junior year of highschool is when you first fell in love with Yoon Jeonghan.

You were the new girl. The transfer student. The awkward, hormonal, sixteen year old girl who felt oh so small in such a big school. The nobody.

Pretending like the lingering stares, the pointing, the whispering—all of it—was just a figment of your imagination was easy. You had been used to tuning things out. At acting like it didn’t phase you.

Private school was different than public school. Too different. The only reason you were in this place is because you were sent to live with your aunt because of the fact that your mother was in rehab and your dad wasn’t in the picture. Many of the public schools in the area weren’t the best, so she pulled some extra money from her savings to send you one of the nicer, private schools.

You were grateful, for her concern regarding where you went to school, but the huge contrast from transitioning to this new place was anything but easy. You may have looked just like everyone else, but you never felt like them. A bunch of self obsessed, privileged, stuck up rich kids. Yeah, you weren’t that. Not by a long shot. It’s like they could tell you didn’t belong here, but you already knew that.

All of them except for him.

Jeonghan had heard the mumbled talk of your arrival since he arrived on campus. He didn’t get what the big idea was. New kids came all the time, bought their way in with mommy and daddy’s help. Each and every other student here was one in the same. Predictable. Boring.

“Shit, look, there she is,” Joshua whispered amongst the small group of boys, his head jerking in your direction. The rest of them—Minghao, Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Jeonghan—all spared you a single glance or two.

Minghao chuckled dryly. “She’s gonna get eaten alive.”

"She's kinda hot though, don’t you think?" Soonyoung mumbled, trailing his eyes over your body. "That skirt is way too small for her."

“It’s like six in the morning. Can you not be horny right now?” Mingyu sighed, yet Soonyoung’s gaze remained on you until you disappeared from his line of sight. Jeonghan remained silent.

Joshua nudged his friend. “What? You have nothing to say?”

“What is there to say?” Jeonghan asked, swirling around his iced coffee that had been way too expensive to taste so cheap. “She’s a girl and she’s new.” Soonyoung booed him, loudly, attracting the attention of other passing students.

“You’re no fun.” He said and crossed his arms. Jeonghan gave him no response. “Whatever. How long do you think she’ll last?”

“I’ll give her until the end of the day,” Mingyu nodded. The others looked at him in disbelief, which made the boy roll his eyes. “What? I’m an optimist.”

Soonyoung hummed in thought, weighing his available options. “Four hours max.”

Minghao shook his head. “Two and a half.”

“I’m gonna say…One hour.” Joshua added. Then they all turned their heads to Jeonghan. He didn’t respond until the staring became unbearable.

“God, you’re all such pessimists, you know that?” He scoffed. “I’m not doing this with you today.”

“You have faith in her,” Minghao teased, poking the older boy in the side. “You’re so easy to read.”

“Cut that shit out.” Jeonghan hissed, pushing away Minghao’s hand. Minghao, Mingyu, and Joshua giggled. He was so easy to piss off.

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Soonyoung cracked his knuckles with a confident—bordering on arrogant—smile.

“Seriously, don’t—” Minghao sighed, but the other boy was beyond reason. By the time he even said anything, Soonyoung was literally in your face.

The expression on your face was pensive, relaxed even. Until…

“Hey, new girl.”

You looked up, your eyes looking over him with disinterest. Soonyoung cleared his throat when you didn’t reply, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to relieve the awkward atmosphere.

“I’m Soonyoung, but you can call me Hoshi.”

“No.” You deadpanned.

His eyes widened. Were you serious? He could hear the others trying to keep in their laughter behind him.

“Is there something you need?” You asked, raising one of your eyebrows. Soonyoung stammered, only managing to speak the words “I…” or “what?” before he sighed and lowered his head.

“Hoshi, are you done making yourself look stupid yet?” Mingyu shouted, stopping between almost every word so he could laugh. By now, there was an even bigger scene being made by Mingyu’s additional comment, much to your embarrassment.

“Excuse me,” you mumbled to him as you scurried off to the bathroom, leaving not only Soonyoung shocked but also the little audience you had gathered shocked as well.

“Wow, what a smooth talker.” Joshua clapped, a wide grin on his face. “She was all over you.”

Minghao giggled. “I recorded the entire thing. Hey, who should I send this to first?”

“Oh fuck off,” Soonyoung hissed, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Nobody needs to see that shit.”

“Right, like half the school hasn’t already.” Jeonghan gestured to the multitude of people still lingering around in the hallways, huddled in groups whispering about the events that had just happened. Glancing at Joshua after you were gone, he smirked.

“So?” Joshua asked. “What’s your judgement?”

Jeonghan sipped the last of his drink, shaking it around and poking at the ice with his straw to see if there was any left. When he discovered none, he discarded the cup in the trash and crossed his arms over his chest. “I like her.”

You spent very little time in the bathroom, your visit only being to calm your nerves and steady your thoughts, but you didn’t expect to see the same boy and the rest of his friends huddled outside the bathroom waiting for you.

Wide-eyed, you stared between the five of them.“Um…hello?”

“Hi!” Mingyu smiled at you brightly, side eyeing Jeonghan when he nudged him aside. A quiet gasp slips past your lips; this boy was gorgeous.

“I assume you have a name? Or should we continue calling you new girl?”

“My name…?” You repeated, feeling your body growing warm at the proximity between the two of you. “Oh, my name. I’m [Y/n].” Jeonghan nodded, and then he smiled at you. You felt even hotter now. A little dumb, too, certain that you were embarrassing yourself.

“That’s cute,” he said, still smiling softly. Jeonghan threw one of his arms over your shoulder, keeping you close to him as he and the rest of his friends started to walk down the hallway. “So then, you’ll sit with us at lunch, right [Y/n]?” You stared at him, dumbfounded, unable to believe that he was actually being serious with you. Soonyoung, finding this funny, couldn’t help but laugh.

“Who’s stammering now?” He quipped, earning him a glare from Jeonghan. Soonyoung didn’t speak again.

“Sit with you?” You asked again, and Jeonghan nodded. “Are you sure?” Everyone’s eyes seemed to be on you as you were basically escorted down the hall with Jeonghan at your side, except this time it wasn’t your imagination. For some reason it felt like you were being stared at now more than ever.

“Of course we’re sure.” Joshua reassured you. When he looked close enough to fully take in the look on your face, he gave you a smile that was full of sympathy. “Ignore them. They’re all assholes. We’re the nice ones!”

Joshua was right, in a way. Jeonghan and his friends were the nicest group of assholes you’ve ever been associated with. It was one of those “mean to everyone except you” type of dynamics, especially with Jeonghan himself. You knew it wasn’t wise to, but you couldn’t help how your heart would beat faster whenever he was around since he only seemed to regard you as a close friend and nothing more.

You also couldn’t help but notice that he was as oblivious as he was cute. The others noticed, (Joshua was the first, obviously, then Minghao, then Mingyu, and then Soonyoung, who was heartbroken that you’d choose Jeonghan over him, and you didn’t know if he was joking or not) but he seemed like the only one who couldn’t get a hint. Even when you were being as direct and obvious as possible, Jeonghan still remained as unaffected by your affection as a white crayon did on white paper.

By senior year, you and Jeonghan started to grow apart. It was gradual, falling out of touch with one another as the last school year just passed you both by, until it seemed like Jeonghan was once again nothing but the cute boy you knew nothing about like he had been on your first day. The rest of the boys were devastated, Joshua most of all.

Aside from you, it seemed like he was the one who wanted Jeonghan to quit being dull and realize you liked him. Just tell him already, that’s what he’d always say. You always said you would, only to end up doing the opposite.

What if Jeonghan didn’t feel the same way? What if it destroyed your friendship? What if he never wanted anything to do with you after you told him? Each question seemed more unbearable than the last. It was easier to love him than to lose him.

The last time you saw him was at graduation. After the ceremony, roaming around the parking lot past all the smiling families taking pictures of their children with their brand new diplomas, looking for your aunt’s car—you ran into him.

“[Y/n]!” He called out to you, waving both of his arms in the air to draw your attention. He hugged you once you were close enough, squeezing you a little bit. “I’m sad now, we’re not going to see each other every day anymore,” he pouted, and you smiled, even though the thought of that saddened you just as much.

Having him act so naturally with you threw you for such a loop. Talking to him like this made it feel like your friendship hadn’t come to an end, like you two were old friends who had never been apart.

“Don’t be sad. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.” You continued to smile, trying hard to make sure it didn’t look fake. You needed to believe what you were saying if you wanted him to do the same. Luckily for you it seemed effective, because Jeonghan’s face soon broke into a smile as well before he held his pinky up to you.

“Promise?”

Now you were smiling for real. Jeonghan, at the ripe age of eighteen, still believed deeply in pinky promises. They were sacred, never to be broken, those were his words. Others may have found him childish for this, you found it noble.

Nodding, you linked your pinky with his. “Promise.”

The promise you made with Jeonghan turned five today. Five years since senior year ended, five years since you made that promise with him, five years since you’ve seen Yoon Jeonghan’s face in person.

Now you saw him everywhere; on billboards, in ads, plastered on posters in the windows of just about every store—everywhere you went, Jeonghan’s face was sure to be there.

He was certainly doing better than you, no doubt. Odds are he wouldn’t even recognize you anymore. You worked at the local Ihop, drive your aunt’s old Toyota Camry, trying to save up enough money to move out of her house and into your own apartment.

You had wanted to attend college, even if only for a little, but your aunt only had enough money stashed away to send you to that ridiculously pricey private school, not to mention room she was already taking care of you for your mom while she was still…away, and you couldn’t afford to go into debt or pay anyone back.

So while Jeonghan walked runways in Milan and New York, you stayed in town and missed him every time his name was mentioned by one of your coworkers, forcing away the feelings you harbored for him.

Something like that was bound to happen to him, though. He was already so handsome, and his parents no doubt had the connections needed to allow something like that for their son. You were happy for him. Even after all this time, you continued to remain his biggest supporter. You’d buy every product he endorsed, watch any content he was featured in, and you’d stare at his pictures in awe, unable to believe that he just always seemed to get more and more good looking.

To Jeonghan, it was different. He enjoyed the attention. He liked being told by other people how handsome he was. He liked having people who adored him. But that was about it. Not once did he enjoy waking up early, rushing from shoot to shoot, sitting through meetings, none of it. He could live without the pressure to keep smiling, or the nagging from his parents, or—worst of all—the questions on his love life.

Jeonghan had never dated anyone since becoming a model, not even in private. There were zero scandals regarding a romantic relationship when it came to him, but the media was still unconvinced. He wondered how or why they always found the time to be so nosy. Why couldn’t they understand that’s just not what he was looking for right now?

“So Jeonghan, I think you all know the question on every one of our minds, right?” Jihyo asked with a smile, shifting around in her seat a little. Jeonghan responded with his convincing fake laughs—he had to have them mastered by now after all the invasive questions he’d constantly be asked by people like the paparazzi, or in this case, talk-show hosts. “Is there a special girl in your life that you’re hiding from us?”

The audience erupted into a fit of “ooo’s” and “aah’s” all while Jeonghan tried to hide his discomfort with the subject. “Honestly, Jihyo? There really is nobody right now. I’m just…not interested in dating.”

“Oh, come on! Are you sure you’re not seeing anyone in secret?” The sound of Jihyo’s laughter echoed through the studio as is blended with the reactions from the audience. Jeonghan laughed along with her, wondering how much longer he’d be here. He’d already had to have a long meeting with his parents and his agency this morning, then done a product endorsement for a cosmetics brand afterwards, and now he was here, entertaining Jihyo and her live studio audience. Today was relatively low maintenance for him, so after he left here there was only one thing he wanted to do before going home; eat.

Jeonghan shook his head, a small smile on his face. “If I were seeing someone, they wouldn’t be a secret.”

Jihyo’s face lit up in surprise, her mouth parting as she took in his response. “Wow! It seems like Jeonghan is that kind of boyfriend, huh?” Various reactions came from the crowd, most of them being screams of Jeonghan’s name praising him for his response. “All right, that’s all the time we have for today, but tune in tomorrow to hear Jo Yuri talk about her acting debut! That’s all for now!”

“Alright, that’s it people! Let’s wrap it up!”

Jeonghan exhaled with relief, saying a polite goodbye to Jihyo before he excused himself off the set and to his car. He cursed when he noticed how dark the sky was beginning to get. Most of the places he wanted to go would be closing by now. He thought hard to remember the places that stayed open late, then remembered that the local Ihop was always open. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the place, not by a long shot, but he’d just have to suck it up for the sake of his hunger.

Business at work had been slow today. It was only Monday, and you never got too much of a crowd during the start of the week, especially not when it was so early in the morning. Chaewon had suggested the two of you take a short break in the bathroom (though knowing her, she just wanted to gossip).

“No way, [Y/n]. You’re telling me you really knew Jeonghan in high school?” Chaewon asked you, leaning against the bathroom sink as she brushed some of her hair out of her face. “What was he like?”

You shrugged as you washed your hands. “He was nice. Well, he was nice to me.” This made Chaewon gasp and grab onto your shoulder, pressing her lips together to try and hide the smile creeping onto her face.

“Oh my gosh, he was totally into you!”

Yoon Jeonghan? Into you? You laughed dryly, really finding your friend’s enthusiasm cute, but at the same time you seriously doubted it. If what he said in those interviews were true, there was no chance. He wasn’t interested in dating; in relationships altogether.

You were just about to respond to her when the door to the bathroom flew open. Sakura, your manager, was standing in the doorway staring at the two of you like she’d caught you doing something you shouldn’t have.

“What are you two still doing in here?” She asked. “Someone is waiting to have their order taken.”

“Coming,” you sighed, patting your hands dry with three paper towels too many and rushing out behind Sakura. You approached one of the booths closer to the entrance, notepad in hand. “Welcome to Ihop, what can I—”

The person sitting in the booth lowers the menu, and time seems to stop. He looks up at you. You look down at him. It was like neither of you could believe you were seeing each other in this setting, of all places.

“Jeong…han?” You mumbled, blinking rapidly to see if he was really the person sitting there. He couldn’t really be here, could he? But then he smirked and you were convinced; he was real.

“It’s good to see you too, [Y/n].” He muses, flipping back and forth through the menu a few more times before setting in down on the table. He soaks in the dumbfounded look on your face with an overly smug smile. “Don’t just stand there, sit.”

“I’m the waitress, I can’t just—”

“Sit.”

You slid down into the seat across from him without missing a beat. A part of you felt embarrassed for giving into him so easily, the part of you with dignity.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, which got you an amused laugh from Jeonghan.

“I’m hungry, [Y/n]. Why else do people come to Ihop?”

Well, it was good to know he was still a smart ass after all this time. Even if you were attracted to him, then and now, you still couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Okay, you know that’s not what I mean.”

Jeonghan tilted his head to one side. “I live here too, remember?” Then he sighed and laughed weakly. “Has it really been that long?”

A frown found its way onto your lips. Maybe it has been that long, it was like Jeonghan was suddenly a stranger to you even after the time you’d spent together in school. Thinking about that made something inside of you ache.

“I guess it has.” You mumbled. Your eyes remained locked on the table and not Jeonghan, not even when he started to give you his order. Sliding out of the seat, you gave him your usual service industry smile. “I’ll be right back with that.”

You scrambled to the kitchen, handing off the order to the cooks. “Hey, Chaewon, can you go bring the customer out there his drink?”

Slightly skeptical, Chaewon glanced down at the glass in your hand yet took it anyway. “Why can’t you go bring it to him? You already took his order.”

“Just help me out, okay? Just this once?” The girl sighed, mumbling under her breath as she exited the kitchen. You try to take this moment to finally catch your breath and calm your nerves, but it’s quickly ruined when you hear a shriek, followed by Chaewon running back to the kitchen, a starstruck look on her face.

“Yoon Jeonghan is in our restaurant,” she says, her hand clutching the front of her shirt. “And he’s asking for you, [Y/n].”

Of course he’s asking for you. There was no way you’d get out of this little reunion with him so easily. Jeonghan never let things be simple, you’d learned that quickly from your time being friends with him.

“Just bring the food once it’s ready, Chae,” you muttered, walking out of the kitchen and back to the booth Jeonghan was seated at. He looked up at you, pointing to the spot across from him, and you sat. “Is there something you want from me, Jeonghan?”

“Just some company,” He replied with a faux pout. He noticed that you were still looking at him like you could see through his lie, so he shrugged and smiled. “Okay, fine. I really did come here to eat, but I do need help with something else too.”

Raising your eyebrows, you urged him to continue. “I need you to be my girlfriend.” If you had opened your eyes any wider, they probably might have popped out of your head.

“W-What?” You shouted. Jeonghan put one of his fingers to his lips to shush you, which only helped to get you quiet and not to calm your racing heart. “But you’re always saying…”

“Listen,” He held one of your hand with both of his. “I know, I know. I’m always saying I’m not looking to date right now. But that’s exactly why I need you. I’m hoping to get everyone off my fucking back even if it’s just for a little while. Once the news of our relationship dies down, we can call it quits.”

You felt like this was a really vivid dream; like your subconscious was playing an elaborate trick on you and that none of this was actually real. Jeonghan squeezed your hand and looked at you expectantly. This must’ve been really important to him, and he was counting on you. Curse your simple heart, seven years had passed and you still felt like the love struck sixteen year old you were when you first met him.

This was a bad idea. No, this was a terrible idea. You should tell him that. There is no way you should say—

“Okay, fine. But only until the news dies down.”

Jeonghan grinned, visibly pleased with your response.

“I knew I could count on you.”

Thinking with your brain was always hard for you to do whenever you even thought about him, so having him make such a large request of you was basically keeping you from acting with any sort of rationality.

But Jeonghan didn’t need to know all that. You propped your elbow up on the cool surface of the table and leaned your head into the palm of your hand, swallowing down your apprehension. “What are friends for?”

When you woke up the next morning, the only thing on your mind was Jeonghan. Your interaction with him at your job hadn’t been a dream. He had asked you to be his (pretend) girlfriend, and you had agreed. You partly regretted the decision like you would a hangover, knowing that you still had feelings for him and telling him you’d go along with his plans could only end so many ways. You’d have to stop thinking with your heart so often.

In your moment of doubt, you received a text from Jeonghan. After he had finished his very late lunch yesterday, he tore off a piece of the receipt and scribbled down his phone number on it for you to keep, leaving you behind with a generous tip and a fuzzy feeling in your stomach. Fucking butterflies.

He’d also left you a very lovely, romantic text.

I’m picking you up at 7:45.

Ever the charmer. You checked the time; it was exactly 7. You groaned and hoped that this wouldn’t become an everyday thing, you didn’t even go into work this early.

Jeonghan ended up arriving outside your aunt’s house ten minutes later than he said he would, which only made you feel dumb for racing against the clock to make yourself look presentable.

He kept his eyes on you as you buckled up. “Good morning.” You side-eyed him, just barely making out the stupid lopsided grin on his lips.

“For you, maybe.”

“You’ll get used to it, I already have.”

So this would be an everyday thing. Great.

Accompanying Jeonghan around had given you a unique perspective on your own life. You had already thought there was a lot on your own plate, but Jeonghan, you weren’t sure how he handled it all. Sitting through meetings, fittings, hair and makeup, and photoshoot after photoshoot was tiring you out and you weren’t even the model.

You did like the rush of pride you got whenever Jeonghan introduced you as his girlfriend. Getting to see the shocked look on the faces of the people who worked beside him made you feel like you were important. If you didn’t have to get up so early all the time, maybe this was something you could get used to.

“It’s boring, right?” Jeonghan said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“What do you mean?”

He sighed, waving away the man that was wiping off his makeup. “The sitting around, the waiting, all of it. You’re bored, aren’t you?”

You raised one of your eyebrows. “Why would you think I’m bored?” You asked. “Are you bored?”

“Obviously,” he scoffed in reply. “I would’ve rather done pretty much anything else. I mentioned being a model, like, one time and they just went with it. I didn’t wanna argue with my parents, though.” He shrugged, and that was it.

There was a sudden awkward tension in the air with Jeonghan’s overly honest confession. You glanced at the man who was in charge of removing his makeup, sharing a sheepish look with him before breaking eye contact. He was two for two on the eye opening revelations today, and you weren’t too sure you could handle a third.

Clearing your throat, you tried to think of a way to steer the conversation into a different direction. “So, uh, where to after this?”

“The gym. I would’ve gone tomorrow but Joshua said he’d meet me there.”

Finally, a break in this drag of a schedule of his. And you’d get to see Joshua. You could feel your boredom melting away like ice on a hot day as you got up and stretched.

“I’ll be in the car.”

So, about the visit to the gym…

It was fine at first. Normal. You greeted Joshua, hugged him, expressed how good it was to see him and how much you had missed him after all this time, and he smiled and done the same.

Speaking of Joshua, he had almost screamed when Jeonghan mentioned that you and him were seeing each other, and when he looked at you to confirm that he was telling the truth, he did scream, earning him confused and concerned stares from the people around you. Lying to him warded off the happy feeling you had built up on the way over here in a heartbeat, so you stayed silent for the duration of his workout with Jeonghan.

“Shit, dude, I gotta go. Something just came up,” Joshua apologized quickly and rushed out of the building, leaving just you, Jeonghan, and a small handful of other people rich or important enough to get into this private space.

You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the hot, sticky air of the gym. Maybe it was Jeonghan sitting there, all sweaty and panting and looking at you with that stupidly sexy smirk on his face. Maybe it was a bunch of other things you couldn’t bring your mind to conjure up the words for, but something was about to happen, you could feel it.

“I should shower.” Jeonghan suddenly said, parting his sweaty body from the machine he had been occupying. His eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite place. “Wanna join?”

That’s the short version of how you ended up pressed up against the wall gym shower, your back to Jeonghan as he took you from behind. Your head spun with desire and a dash of shame. Even though it felt really good, you hadn’t even kissed Jeonghan once since declaring your status as (fake) girlfriend and boyfriend.

“Oh, baby. If I had known you felt this good I’d have done this ages ago,” Jeonghan moaned into your ear, and you could feel your knees buckle under you. That sweet-talking mouth of his would definitely be a problem for you, you were calling it now. Hearing such vulgar comments fall from his lips so naturally made you wonder why he was so good at this.

“F-Fuck, Jeonghan. Don’t stop…” The tiles of the small shower felt cold and wet against your skin, the feeling being the only thing keeping you somewhat grounded. Jeonghan’s hands held your hips tightly when you almost slipped as he mumbled something about being careful. If you weren’t in this position you’d have slapped him. “You’re not funny.”

Jeonghan isn’t bothered by your remark in the slightest. He snaps his hips forward, loving the way you gasp and push yourself back to meet his thrusts. He really thought you looked cute like this, so easily losing your composure because of him. He knew about the effect he could have on people, but none of them mattered now that he saw how you reacted to him. “Tell me how it feels baby.”

“So good, Jeonghan. F-Feels so fucking good.” You whined, your mine tuned in on the feeling of his wet skin against yours and the sounds of both of your moans.

“That’s right, feels so good. You’re so cute, you know that?”

Your muscles clenching around his cock when he said that was the one thing that seemed to have Jeonghan lose his cool. He nestled his face in the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking at the skin there while he rubbed your clit in fast circles, urging you closer and closer to the bliss of your release.

“Gonna…I’m g-gonna—” You try to say only to be cut off by your own hoarse wail of Jeonghan’s name as your orgasm hits you. Afraid that you might fall, Jeonghan holds onto you even tighter all while continuing to fuck you through your high. He glances down, biting his lip at the sight of the white ring forming at the base of his cock and the streaks of cum streaking down your inner thighs. Never did he think a visual so filthy would get him off, but he couldn’t help but bite your shoulder and curse quietly as he felt himself cum.

The water had gone cold by now, making the realization of just how long you’d been in here weigh heavy on your mind. Jeonghan squeezed one of your hips before he pulled out of you and stepped out to find some towels. You turned off the cool water, leaning back against the same wall you’d just been fucked against and sighed.

Now you really couldn’t go back.

Out of nowhere, a hauntingly embarrassing thought crawled its way into your mind. “Oh no,” you gasped. “Jeonghan, what if someone heard us?” He just laughed at your panicked words.

“Private gym, private showers.” He explained, smiling when you visibly relaxed. “You make some pretty funny faces, has anyone ever told you that?”

You rolled your eyes, but there was a smile on your face. “Yeah, you have, back in school.” There had been many instances in your teenage years where Jeonghan had often laughed harder to your reactions to certain events more than the event itself, and he’d always tell you how “fascinating” your range of facial expressions were. History does repeat itself after all. “Has it really been that long?” Hearing the words he’d said to you the other day elicited a soft chuckle from Jeonghan as he pulled your body closer to his, wrapping one of the warm towels around your shivering frame.

You didn’t like the way your heart was beating faster at an action as simple as that as if he hadn’t just had his way with you in that little cubicle this place dared to call a shower, but you just laughed with him and hoped that he wouldn’t notice.

“I guess it has.”

When you returned to work on Friday, you received a warm welcome from your favorite coworker and best friend.

Translation: Chaewon screaming at the top of her lungs and shaking you back and forth.

“You didn’t tell me you’re DATING YOON JEONGHAN!” Her grip was entering bruise territory. “I thought we were friends!”

“Chaewon, please,” Sakura sighed, prying you out of her arms. “You’re dating that boy that came in the other day? What’s the big deal?”

Chaewon had never looked so shocked. Well, that’s a lie, but right now that’s just how her face looked. “The big deal is him! He’s literally everywhere, Sakura. He’s YOON JEONGHAN!”

The customers could no doubt hear her frantic screaming from the kitchen despite your best efforts to make her quiet down. Unfortunately trying to get Chaewon to calm down was like trying to get a penguin to fly.

“How do you even know about that anyway?” You asked. Chaewon held up a finger, quickly pulling her phone out of her pocket and typing a few words into google and hitting search. She held it out to you and Sakura, and your jaw dropped.

Pictures of you and Jeonghan leaving the gym together, hand in hand, along with a plethora of articles inquiring about your identity as Jeonghan’s girlfriend. Your face wasn’t visible in any of them, but anyone who knew you could tell that you were the one beside him in those photos.

“Oh, wow. Yeah, that’s you alright.” Sakura hummed without even sparing you a glance. “That’s nice. He’s a handsome guy. Good for you, [Y/n].”

You smiled, feeling a little awkward with all the sudden attention. “Thanks, Kkura.” You couldn’t even prepare yourself to be grabbed by Chaewon a second time, so you just let it happen.

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

“Uh…”

“You can talk after work,” Sakura sighed, pulling you away from Chaewon once again. “[Y/n]’s boyfriend will still be with her after her shift is over.”

You really hoped so.

For almost the entirety of your shift, you were somewhat unfocused on your actual job and more on the leaked pictures of you and Jeonghan. Never had you been used to having so much attention on you, especially over a guy. Of course, Jeonghan wasn’t just any guy, but still. All of the hype had to be because of what he’d always preached about not being interested in dating, no doubt, but other than that your sentiment was similar to that of your manager’s: what’s the big deal?

Chaewon also seemed off, though it was mostly only because she couldn’t wait to pick your brain about your relationship with the model. She kept looking at you and smiling for the entirety of your shift, and you’d just try and pretend you didn’t see her. It was working fine until you know who came back to pay you another unexpected visit.

“Hey, your boyfriend is here!” She whispered to you when you returned from a quick trip to the bathroom. You felt confused and surprised at the same time, he was supposed to be…anywhere but here right now. The stupid organ in your chest jumped when you considered the possibility that he was actually here for you.

Making your way to the front of the restaurant, Jeonghan stood there, hands in his pockets, looking pleased to see you.

“Jeonghan, what are you doing here?” He pouted at you.

“Is that the only question you know how to ask me?” You crossed your arms, not in the mood for his little games right now. “Sorry, fine. I wanted to see you. Make sure you’re handling the news well.”

“News…? Oh, that.” You weren’t too thrilled to talk about your sudden rise to fame even though it had been the only thing on your mind ever since finding out from Chaewon today. Kind of ironic. “It’s whatever, I guess. I mean, I couldn’t believe it when Chaewon showed me the pictures, but that was pretty much it.” You shrugged.

“Wow,” Jeonghan hummed. “Have you always been this blunt? Where’s the girl with the bob? I like her energy better.” He started to laugh, the sound only getting louder when you hit him on the chest. You knew didn’t hurt him, not even in the slightest, and his cute giggling only made you madder. Damn him and his smart mouth. “Just kidding, baby.”

And there he goes with the nicknames again. Seriously, damn him and his smart talking, filthy, mouth and all the words he’d speak with it to get you all flustered.

“You never answered me. Don’t you have a photo shoot or a fitting, or, I don’t know, somewhere else to be instead of Ihop on a Friday?”

Jeonghan just smiled at you. “Forgive me for wanting to just stop by and say hello to my girlfriend.”

“Jeonghan.”

Your eyes watched him as he tried to bite back the smile on his lips to no avail. He nodded slowly, seemingly getting the hint that you could always manage to see right through him. He didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

“Alright, alright. You remember that show I was on not too long ago? The one with Jiyho?” Of course you remembered. Chaewon had sent the link to the video once it was uploaded to youtube (like she did with everything involving Jeonghan) along with a bunch of incorrectly spelled words in all caps expressing her excitement and disbelief. He continued speaking once you nodded. “Yeah, so, she pretty much wants me back on the show…with you.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, waiting for you to object to the whole thing.

But you don’t object. You glance to the side once, then back at him, and shrug like you had done moments earlier. “Okay. I’m off on Wednesdays and Thursdays.” The man in front of you sighed and shook his head.

“She wants us there tomorrow. Can’t you get someone else to come in for you, or something?”

You exhaled a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Fine. But you owe me, okay? This is coming out of my paycheck.” The look of utter happiness on Jeonghan’s face whenever you give into him is something you think you’ll never get tired of seeing, like he really thought it’d take more convincing to get you to say yes. You’ve literally been wrapped around his finger since you were sixteen, it was honestly surprising that he had the nerve to explain himself to you sometimes when you damn near lacked the ability to say no to him.

“You’re the best,” he was still smiling when he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, okay? Wear something cute.”

You made some sort of strange yet quiet noise of acknowledgment, watching him with slightly parted lips as he walked out of the doors and back to his car. Jeonghan had just kissed you. On the forehead, yeah, but it was still a kiss. And not like he had kissed you in the shower, either, this one felt different. Tingly. You’d have probably stayed rooted to that spot if Sakura hadn’t started yelling for you to get back to work.

“Coming!”

Mornings always seemed to come too fast for you, especially when you were going anywhere with Jeonghan. Time had to be speeding up on purpose knowing that you were always rushing to get ready lest you make Jeonghan late to one of his unmissable and very important (that you were still shocked to discover how much he despised) events.

You were worried about wearing the “wrong thing” even though you had no idea you should wear for something like this and texted Jeonghan for help last night. He responded with a short explanation of what he’d be wearing and said that you could just wear whatever you thought would match or complement what he’d have on. And then he’d sent one more a few minutes after that. One that read:

good night [y/n] sleep thigh

You had responded with a series of question marks, expecting some kind of explanation or clarification, but he must’ve gone to sleep right after that because there was no response for the rest of the night.

So when you had settled yourself into the passenger seat of his car, you’d decide to question him about it now.

“Oh, I meant sleep tight,” Jeonghan told you. He pointed at the seatbelt, staring at you until you were buckled up and only then did the car start to move. “Were you really thinking about that all night? Even I make spelling mistakes, [Y/n].”

You could sense that he was about to start laughing even before you started talking. “No! I just…whatever, nevermind.” And you’d been right, Jeonghan laughed just like he always did whenever you seemed to make what you considered a fool of yourself in front of him. He noticed that you were frowning from the corner of his eye and placed one of his hands on your thigh. You flinched at the contact.

“What?” He asked, starting to pull it away, but you grabbed it and placed it back down.

“Nothing.” You shook your head. “It’s nothing. Your hands are just cold.” This made him smirk. He poked your cheek, your forearm, and your upper thigh, the smile on his face getting wider each time you shivered and tried to push it away. “Quit it!”

“You like it,” he was giggling now, and you were too. You didn’t even realize that you were until he had pointed to your mouth and laughed even harder. As long as Jeonghan had known you, you’d never giggled before. He joked that he was starting to rub off on you as he poked you with his cold fingers one more time. “I like that dress, by the way.” His hand found its way back to your thigh, feeling slightly less cold now. Maybe the heat of your body was warming him up, because you definitely felt hot right now.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm. You wore it just for me, didn’t you?”

Your eyes grew the slightest bit wider. That was partly the truth, yes. You’d also worn it because he’d told you to wear something nice and this dress just so happened to be one of the nicest pieces of clothing you owned that was appropriate for an event like this. The former option seemed to be the one he was more interested in though, seeing as how he was pushing up the hem of the dress and glancing at your underwear—and the wet patch on it.

“Well, yeah, you kinda told me to.” Jeonghan loved the fact that you were actively choosing to either ignore the fact that you were wet right now or pretend like it didn’t faze you. He pressed one of his (still somewhat cold) fingers on the spot and started to rub it, making you shiver and moan. “J-Jeonghan, you’re doing this now?”

“Ah, you know what? You’re right. My hands are still cold, aren’t they?” He mumbled, but his hand stayed placed firmly against your upper thigh. You hated the way you whined at his teasing and the way you craved more. “Aww, baby. I was just doing what you wanted. Are you mad at me now?”

“You’re literally the worst!” Huffing, you slapped his hand away and Jeonghan, stubborn as ever, just placed it right back down on your thigh. “Don’t touch me.” You tried sounding stern despite the way you were starting to grin, much to Jeonghan’s amusement.

“I owe you one, okay?” His voice was full of nothing but sincerity as he pulled the edges of your dress back down. “Put on a good show for Jihyo and I’ll let you cum as many times as you want later, deal?”

Your response came immediately, like you hadn’t even had to think about it. “Deal.”

Jihyo was even prettier in person. You weren’t used to seeing her without her hair in a bob, like Chaewon, but she seemed to be in the process of growing her hair out. Her skin was a little tanner in person and she had a smile that was kind and natural, which made you feel at ease.

“So, everyone, I’m sure you’ve all seen the pictures, right? Of Jeonghan and his supposed girlfriend?” Jihyo turned so that she faced the audience, nodding along at their responses. “I know, I saw them too, and when I tell you my jaw literally dropped. I was like, I’ve gotta get him back on the show. Well here he is, everyone! And with his mystery girl too!” She held one of her arms out and the audience erupted into applause seeing you and Jeonghan hand in hand walk onto the set. Jihyo clapped as well, watching the two of you the whole time while you took your seats beside each other.

“It’s good to be back, Jihyo. Thanks for having me.” Jeonghan was as polite as ever, his fingers still interlaced with your own. The woman just scoffed and shook her head.

“Oh, it’s nothing! You know how much of a joy you are to have on set.” Then she turned to you, eyebrows shooting up. “And you! What’s your name, sweetie?”

“I’m [Y/n].” The smile on your face was a little awkward, but the audience still received the interaction positively and applauded once more.

“Well [Y/n], aren’t you a lucky girl?” She leaned a little forward in her seat. “You’re doing what a lot of other girls could literally only dream of. How does it feel to be dating Jeonghan?”

It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s like a dream come true. It’s perfect, in every sense of the word. And it’s all one big lie.

“It’s…it’s really crazy to think about it, you know? Like, I’m just a normal girl, but I’m dating him?” You ended your reply by gesturing to Jeonghan, both of you smiling. More clapping came from the audience. It seemed to be going well.

“That’s totally understandable. If I were you, I would’ve lost it. You probably did lose it a little, I would imagine, right?” You nodded at her question, recalling the day he had proposed the whole idea to you. Thinking about how you managed to keep your nerves under control in that situation amazed you, followed by a surge of pride for being able to keep up your act on nonchalance so well when in Jeonghan’s presence. So in Jihyo’s words, yeah, you did lose it just a little.

“Right, right. And you, mister, how long has this been going on?” Jihyo pointed one of her neatly manicured fingers right at Jeonghan. “I remember you saying you’d never keep that special someone a secret.”

Jeonghan leaned back and rested his hands flat on the arms of his chair. “[Y/n] wasn’t ready to be in the public eye. She was just nervous, and I’d never make her do something she didn’t want to. Forgive me.” Seeing the fake pout on his lips caused one to form on Jihyo’s face as well. He was pretty good at this lying on the spot stuff. Maybe a little too good.

“You sweet thing. What a considerate boyfriend. Anyone else feeling a little bit jealous right now?” Jihyo glanced at the audience, responding as eagerly as ever. “I’m definitely feeling a little envious. Like just a pinch. No, but seriously, I wanna know everything. Oh, tell us this: who fell in love first? I’m really curious.”

You sat up in your seat a little straighter. Should you answer? Should you tell the truth? Would Jeonghan finally get the hint you just confessed right now, or would he think you’re just playing along?

“I did.” You snapped your head in Jeonghan’s direction, and you felt tingly again. It didn’t help that he winked at you either, insinuating that this was yet another lie and that you should continue to act naturally. The audience was eating this up.

Jihyo held her hands over her open mouth, looking between you and the crowd. “Wow! I…just wow! I’m so shocked! I was expecting you to be the one who…” She couldn’t even finish speaking given her exasperation, but you could read between the lines. Jihyo wasn’t the only one thrown for a loop with his answer, you genuinely had no idea he would say that. “[Y/n], sweetie, did you know he was the one who liked you first?”

“No,” you were being honest for the first time. “I’m just as shocked as you are.” You look at Jeonghan once again, your eyes immediately noticing the smug look written all over his face. You didn’t like it.

A few more questions later, Jihyo announced that there was “no more time, sorry, i know,” and started to dismiss everyone on the set. You and Jeonghan gave her one last round of polite smiling and goodbyes before you let Jeonghan escort you back to his car. The difference in your moods was stark; Jeonghan seemed to be on cloud nine while you were still hung up over what he had told Jihyo earlier.

“Um, Jeonghan, about what you said back there…”

“I know, right! Did you see the faces of the people in the audience?” He looked so happy, sounded so happy. Anyone could tell he was enjoying the attention. You weren’t. You wanted answers.

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, I saw them. They really just eat up anything you say, even if you’re lying.”

For the first time in a while, you noticed a dramatic change in Jeonghan’s expression. It was only for a second, maybe less, but it happened. Something like nervousness mixed with a dash of sadness and a pinch of guilt mixed together and slapped right onto the canvas of his face to create the masterpiece of his composure being lost. And then just as quickly as he let it fall, he slapped the mask back onto his face in the form of that carefree grin.

“I know, and I’m sorry baby. I’ll drop you off and then we’ll talk all about it.”

Jeonghan was good at keeping his promises. He kept the one you made at graduation to see you again—which was probably just dumb luck, but it counted. He kept the one he made to you after you left the gym and brought you to your favorite coffee place so you could a drink and a cake pop. He even kept the one he made to you in Junior year when you dropped Minghao’s phone in the pool (you both blamed it on Mingyu). He had not kept his promise to talk to you about what he said in the interview with Jihyo. You were too occupied with his other promise (technically, it was a deal) you’d made with him before that.

“You’re a natural on camera, baby,” He whispered into your ear, running his hands up and down your sides. Jeonghan had his hand down your underwear the whole drive back to your aunt’s house, and when he finally pulled into the driveway, you were scrambling into his lap. Seeing you so worked up made Jeonghan feel good. He leaned back the drivers seat and let you grind against his erection, flooding the inside of your mind until you could think of nothing but him. “I can tell they just loved you.”

“You really talk too much sometimes,” You mumbled. Jeonghan loved nothing more than when you talked back to him, it only made things more fun when he watched you fall apart on his cock in the moments that would follow. “You and your filthy mouth.”

“Shut me up then.”

Jeonghan licked his lips, and you watched him do so with bated breath. He was challenging you. Up until now, you had never kissed each other. You were afraid that if you did, some kind of invisible, imaginary line would be crossed and then it’d be that much harder to let him go. But what the hell, you’d already had him balls deep inside of you, what was a kiss compared to that?

His perfect, pink, lips were calling out to you like a siren does a sailor. There was no resistance when you finally kissed him, finally feeling the softness of his lips against your own. Jeonghan pulls you closer, the sudden friction between your bare core and his clothed cock making the two of you moan into the other’s mouth.

“Ride me,” He whispered with need. Need, you thought, Jeonghan needed this from you. This would’ve been the ideal time to tease him back considering his current state. But fuck, you needed him too.

Jeonghan helped you unbutton his pants and slide them down along with his boxers just enough for you to sink down onto his aching cock. It felt different, but not in a bad way. He felt so much deeper, so much better, so much closer.

He let a chuckle slip past his lips. “Your heart…it’s beating fast.” His ability to be snarky and annoying never seemed to escape him.

“Is yours not?” You asked him while you rocked your hips back and forth lazily. The last thing you wanted to do was rush this moment, this might be the last time you got to have him like this, you wanted it to last. Jeonghan wrapped his hand around one of your wrists and placed it flat against his chest.

His heart was beating just as fast as yours.

There was probably a word out there somewhere to properly convey the emotions you were feeling, not that you could think of it right now with the way Jeonghan was scrambling not only your insides—but your mind, too.

Neither of you spoke again after that. You became caught up in the moment, in the way each other felt. Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered closed when the motions of your hips became faster, the obscene sound of his moaning overpowering your own gasps and whines of pleasure. He looked a fucked out mess; swollen lips, dark eyes, messy hair, the whole nine yards. If your eyes could take pictures, you’d want a million of him in this moment.

Jeonghan couldn’t stop kissing you. He’d been waiting for you to take the initiative, to let go of your hesitation. And now he was addicted to you and the way you kissed him and slipped your tongue into his mouth like you just couldn’t get enough.

“‘M gonna fucking cum, baby,” he breathed, thrusting up into you without warning. You wrapped your arms around his neck, panting, feeling yourself get close too. He kissed you, sloppily, his dick bruising the spongy spot inside you until you were seeing white. No less than a few seconds later Jeonghan was doing the same, your sloppy cunt milking him dry. You stayed like that for a while, his forehead pressed to yours, until the speed and sound of your breathing fell into the same rhythm.

“I’ve gotta go,” is how he chose to break the silence, kissing you to silence your whine of protest. “I know, I’m sorry. But hey, my family is having a party in a few weeks. Some business shit, probably for publicity. I don’t know all the details, but they told me to bring you so they could finally meet you in person.”

You couldn’t muster any other response aside from a sigh. “I’ll be there.”

He kissed you one last time. “That’s my girl.”

One promise kept, another one broken.

“You know, that day you asked me to cover your shift, I didn’t expect it was because you were running off with your boyfriend to go on some talk show,” Yeonjun mumbled, taking the somewhat heavy box labeled “bathroom” out of your hands and walking it to that room. “It must be nice, right?” His voice echoed through the empty space of your new apartment.

“Why, you jealous?” You could hear him scoff all the way from the bathroom, making you and Chaewon laugh.

It’s been two weeks since you’ve heard from Jeonghan. His schedule has gotten increasingly busier ever since his reappearance on Jihyo’s show (which only made the news of your relationship more popular) , and you missed him for a multitude of reasons. One of them being that talk you never had about what he’d said that day. Every time you’d try to bring it up with him there was always a way he managed to weasel his way out of giving you an answer, so you’d given up trying at this point.

In better news, you’d finally managed to save up enough money to move out of your aunts house and into a decent little apartment downtown. It was kind of small, but it was just you, so you were fine with it. Today you’d finally started to move in most of your things. Joshua, Mingyu, and Soonyoung would come over tomorrow to help you set up your bed and shelves and other things that required the ability to decipher Ikea instructions. Minghao would come too, but not to help put anything together. He just wanted to scope out the place and advise you on the best way to decorate it.

So for now it was just you, your coworkers, and a couple of boxes containing the few things that you owned.

“What was it like seeing Jihyo in person?” Chaewon asked, taking a seat on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“She was nice. And pretty. She’s also more tan in person.” You replied. “I really need to go to the store, I’ve barely got any real furniture.” You stared into your box labeled “kitchen” and felt taunted by the plastic cutlery that rested inside.

There was a sudden knock at the door. You looked at Chaewon and she shrugged, just as clueless as you. You padded to the door, unlocking it and opening it just a crack. It was Jeonghan. Chaewon gasped, and you could hear her jump off of the counter and shuffle over to the doorway. He looked tired and a little annoyed standing there with his hands buried in his pockets. Today must’ve been one of his off days because he was dressed way more casually than he normally was.

“Hey baby. Hi Chaewon.” His voice sounded slightly deeper than you were used to hearing it. Chaewon waved tentatively from her position behind you. “Can I come in?” You took a step to the side, enough to let him come in, and he looked around the mostly empty space with an unreadable expression. “You never told me you moved out of your aunt’s place.”

“Right, yeah, sorry,” You shrugged. “You were just so busy, I didn’t want to bother you. It just slipped my mind.” Jeonghan just shook his head and leaned against the counter.

“It’s fine, I would’ve made time to stop by and help if I’d known. Would’ve been better than all the shit I’ve been doing.”

Chaewon stood awkwardly to the side, soon accompanied by a clueless Yeonjun who had just gotten over the initial shock of seeing Jeonghan inside your apartment. “Um…we should get going right now actually. We’ll come back another day, okay [Y/n]?” She smiled at you and waved to Jeonghan with a bit more confidence this time and yanked Yeonjun out of the apartment behind her by his wrist, shutting the door behind her with a kick of her foot.

The air suddenly felt a lot thicker.

“Do you think you could do me a favor?”

You hummed questioningly, watching Jeonghan’s head drop down and his gaze lower. You followed his eyes all the way down to the bulge in his pants. He frowned when you started laughing.

“This is funny to you?” You only laughed harder, one of your hands hovering over your mouth. “I don’t find anything funny about this.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you spoke through your laughs. “How did this even happen?”

He leans his head back and sighs. “I was thinking about you.” Your laughter immediately stops.

You’ve just come to two realizations.

1. Jeonghan admits he gets hard at the mere thought of you.

2. He came running here during one of his few days off because he wants your help dealing with it.

You felt a mix of things right now. Horny—obviously—but also proud, and kind of special. Weirdly enough, you liked the idea of Jeonghan running to you to find some sort of release. Or maybe you just really missed him in the wrong way.

“Come here.” Jeonghan beckons you closer, cupping your face in his hands and rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip. “You’re so pretty…”

“You too,” came your mumbled reply. You reached down to palm him through his sweatpants, eliciting a drawn-out groan from Jeonghan. His hips bucked into your hand, one of his hands wrapped firmly around your wrist similarly to the way he’d done in the car. You slowly sank to your knees, never once breaking eye contact with him.

The sight of you on your knees, looking up at him through your eyelashes and your bottom lip between your teeth, Jeonghan could’ve blown a fucking load right then and there.

“Did you miss me, Hannie?”

Jeonghan sucked in a sharp breath when you yanked down his pants and boxers at the same time, exposing his cock to the cool air of your apartment. “I always miss you, baby.”

You paused for a moment and wondered if he really meant that, but with his dick literally in your face you came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn’t the best time to mull things over. You peppered his tip with kisses and ran your hands up and down the base. You’d almost forgotten how much you love it when he moans for you.

“S-so good…you’re so good to me,” he rested his hands on the top of your head, breathing shakily when you finally closed your lips around him. Just when he thought he couldn’t become any more addicted to you, you went and proved him wrong.

You choked and dug your fingers into his thighs at an unexpected show of force from Jeonghan, pushing his cock deeper down your throat with a thrust of his hips. A loud gag shot out of your mouth when it hit the back of your throat, tears starting to well up inside of your eyes. He would’ve apologized if he didn’t think you didn’t like the sight of you like this. “You’re fucking perfect,” he said it without thinking, too caught up in the moment.

A single tear trailed down your cheek. You moaned around him and he copied the sound, the vibrations making him shiver with pleasure. Your jaw was starting to hurt, just a little, but Jeonghan seemed too far gone go notice anything but his own need to cum down your throat. You whined as loudly as you could, and that’s when he finally seemed to get the memo.

His grip became the slightest bit looser, letting you wrap your hands around whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You feel kind of gross when you notice that there’s spit dripping down your chin, but Jeonghan thought it was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. He literally couldn’t take his eyes off of you, big brown eyes now dark with arousal.

“Will you be good and swallow for me, pretty girl?” He asked, though the question seemed entirely unnecessary given that you would’ve done so anyway. Nevertheless, you hummed in agreement, which was all he needed before the warmth of his cum spilled into your mouth. His body went limp once you tore yourself away from him and he leaned back against the countertop.

“I’ve never actually done that before, by the way,” you mentioned all too casually. Jeonghan stared at you, completely dumbfounded, like you hadn’t just sucked the soul out of him. Your face felt hot when you noticed his face. “What?”

“It’s kind of hard for me to believe that after what you just did, but okay.” He shook his head. “Oh, by the way, the party my parents are having is on a Thursday. Totally random, I know, but at lease you won’t have to call off and miss work. You can still make it, right?”

He really remembered that?

“Yeah…I can still come.” Jeonghan smiled and kissed the tip of your nose. It made you giggle. Maybe he really was rubbing off on you after all.

“Perfect.” You expected that to be it and for him to leave you, but instead he picked up one of the boxes on the floor and began unpacking the contents inside. “Do you like it here?”

“Huh?” You pushed aside the shock you felt by him still being here to give a proper answer. “Oh, yeah. It’s nice. The people upstairs are kind of loud at night, though.”

Now he was giggling. You groaned and rolled your eyes. “Not that kind of loud, Jeonghan. You’re so gross.” He was smiling at you, totally unbothered.

“You love me.”

Oh, if only he knew.

Thursday has never come so fast. Time definitely had something against you, and this was the proof.

The venue for the party—some building as fancy as it was big located in the heart of the city—was hot with dim lights and hallways that were way too long. Dozens of people were lined up around the entrance with cameras and microphones. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from them, even from the passengers seat of Jeonghan’s car, and he grumbled.

“The fucking press is still out here?”

It’s late in the evening. The sun is setting. They’ve been camping out here for days. These people are nothing if not devoted.

“You did say this was a publicity event,” you squeezed his hand. “We’ll just walk fast and smile.”

A smile broke onto his face. “I’ve only done that, like, three times.”

“I remember it being more than that, actually.”

He pouted at you, making you giggle. He was so cute it was almost unbelievable.

“Are you nervous?”

“Well, maybe just a little.” It wasn’t the party or the public that scared you, but the idea of meeting Jeonghan’s parents made your stomach churn. He eased your worries with a kiss, then another, and another.

“You’ll be fine. I promise.”

You wanted to believe him. You don’t know if you really do. There’s no fooling your brain, but your heart is much more easily swayed by his words. He holds your hand tightly as he leads you past the hundreds of cameras and people crying out your name followed by some of the strangest questions you’ve probably ever been asked—no, definitely ever been asked. You squint your eyes, allowing them to adjust to the low interior lighting, and you can see two people approaching. Jeonghan’s thumb rubs the back of your hand to soothe you.

“Ready?” He mumbles. You smile and nod.

“Not like I have a choice.”

“Jeonghan! [Y/n]! So happy you could make it.” His father greets you warmly, paired with a smile and a firm handshake. His mom is a bit less reserved with her affection, immediately pulling you into a hug.

“You look lovely, dear. Absolutely stunning.” You smile at the compliment. “It’s so good to finally meet you in person.”

“I feel the same. I’m still a little shaky.” You laughed and it seemed to ease the tension, given the way his parents laughed along with you. His father handed you a skinny glass of champagne which you eagerly accepted, sipping down the bubbly liquid. Jeonghan let go of your hand, now holding a glass of his own.

“I hope Jeonghan doesn’t give you too much trouble. We know he can be a bit of a handful at times.” The woman said, getting another laugh out of his father and you.

“Mom, please.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s really such a great guy. Our time together has been…” You sucked in a breath and glanced up at Jeonghan. He looked down at you, smirking. “…special.”

“Jeonghan? Oh, it really is him! Jeonghannie!”

You and Jeonghan both turned your heads to search for the source of the voice, both of your eyes landing on a girl with dark hair and plump lips waving at Jeonghan.

“Momo,” he smiled at her. “Good to see you. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Momo smiled back. “We would’ve been here earlier, but Sana couldn’t decide on what to wear and Mina wasn’t being any help.” She huffed at the memory and shook her head. “But we’re here now. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you.”

You smiled tightly, trying to remain polite. “It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. It was the exact opposite of fucking fine. Not only was this Momo girl interrupting your moment with Jeonghan and his parents, but she was also acting as if you were invisible. And worst of all, Jeonghan seemed less bored with her sudden appearance and was paying more attention to her than you.

You paused. Were you getting jealous?

“Hey, you don’t mind if Jeonghan takes some pictures with me and my friends, right?” She put a hand on your arm and squeezed lightly, snapping you out of your daze.

“No, it’s okay.” Momo smiled again, and you couldn’t help but notice just how pretty she was. With your approval, Momo linked her arm with Jeonghan’s, leading him to the opposite end of the room where two other girls stood waiting, their faces lighting up at the sight of the male model she had managed to drag along with her.

“Come on [Y/n] dear, he’ll be back. Oh, there are some people we’d like you to meet. Have you met Kang Seulgi? She’s a very talented designer.” Jeonghan’s mom rambled on, guiding you towards an expectant looking crowd of people.

Shockingly (well, it was shocking to you), your attention is the one thing that the majority of the other guests seem to be after. Many of them gather around you and Jeonghan’s parents, hanging off every word you say and looking at you like you’re one of the most precious things they’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. The topic of the evening is, of course, your relationship with Jeonghan.

"It's..." You search for him in the somewhat dark expanse of space, but you couldn't find him anywhere. He probably ran off somewhere with Joshua, no doubt.

Jeonghan had fucked you over. He’d brought you here just to abandon you. He made you feel special just so you’d make him look good in front of his parents. You felt like some kind of broken toy, so easily thrown to the side once he no longer wanted to play with you.

"I don't know. It's a lot of things. I'm happy though, you know? He's good to me." You smiled, the lie stinging your throat and burning your tongue. There was only so much more of all this attention you could take.

“You’re so lovely, [Y/n].”

“Isn’t she just a dear?”

“She’s the sweetest! Don’t you just love her?”

And there it was; your breaking point. One of your hands flew over your mouth, keeping the pathetic sob from escaping. Concern flashed across the faces of the guests, and you apologized as best as you could as you pushed your way through the mass of bodies and out to the hallway. None of them followed you, probably still confused as to why you had even run away in the first place, but it didn’t matter. None of this mattered.

Jeonghan’s friends loved you. The media loved you. His parents loved you. All these guests whose names you didn’t even know loved you. Everyone loved you but Jeonghan, so in the end none of it even mattered. He had no problem discarding you when you were no longer of use to him, like you were nothing, because he didn’t love you.

You finally cried. The regret, the guilt, it consumed you. You slid down to the floor, your face covered by your hands, crying on the floor like a child.

“[Y/n]?”

You could recognize Jeonghan’s voice in a heartbeat. He stared down at you, worry written all over his pretty face, but you gave him no response.

“Why are you crying?”

He knelt down beside you, trying to get you to at least look at him. You wiped away the last of your tears and sighed.

“I think we need to end this, Jeonghan.”

“What?” He seemed genuinely shocked that you said that. “[Y/n], we’re more popular than ever. That wasn’t the deal.”

You picked yourself up off of the floor, suddenly overcome with anger. "Is that seriously all you care about? How popular you are? What about me?”

His silence was painful.

“God, of course. I don’t even know why I bothered asking. You only care about yourself.”

“That’s not true. I care about you, [Y/n]. You know that.” Jeonghan frowned.

Under different circumstances you might’ve believed him, let him sway you with his sweet words and sad little expression.

“Do you? It feels like you only care about me when you want your dick sucked or when you want someone to clap for you.”

The look on his face changed in an instant. Jeonghan’s patience was wearing thin, you could tell, but there was a part of him that was holding back.

“If that’s how you really feel, why didn’t you say anything? Why even agree to do this in the first place?”

The words came flying out before you could stop them. “Because I love you, Jeonghan! I’ve always loved you!”

A heavy silence enveloped the hallway. It was tense—suffocatingly so. You could hardly make out how his face changed once more in the low lighting that enveloped you.

“[Y/n]—”

“I’m not done!” You’re not sure when you started crying again, but you arely registered the wet droplets streaming down your cheeks. “I don’t even know why I’ve tried so hard to get you to notice the fact that I love you when it’s obvious the only person you love is yourself. You’re nothing but a selfish asshole. I hate you.”

Your vision was blurred with your tears, but you could just barely make out the dejection painted on his face. It didn’t suit him. You hoped that he would say something, anything, but Jeonghan did nothing but stand there. You couldn’t do anything but laugh pitifully.

“I’m going home. Have fun at your party.”

“Wait, [Y/n], please don’t go. Let’s talk about this.” He held onto your hand when you tried to walk away. You tried to get him to let go, but he wasn’t ready to let go.

“What else is there to say, Jeonghan? We’re over, now leave me alone. Why don’t you go ask Momo to be your fake girlfriend, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to.”

You snatched your hand out of his grasp, fooling yourself with the last bit of hope you had that maybe he would chase after you. He made you a promise, after all.

It’s a shame he couldn’t keep it.

You didn’t go into work on Friday. Or Saturday. Or Sunday. After you got home last night, you buried yourself beneath the covers of your bed, too exhausted to do anything other than lie there in the darkness until you fell asleep. When morning came, you couldn’t even muster up the strength to move, so you called Sakura and said that you were sick and wouldn’t be able to come in for the next few days.

Jeonghan had left you an unbelievable amount of texts and calls, none of which you bothered to respond to. Chaewon and Joshua also texted you to ask about the party and if you’d heard anything from Jeonghan; apparently no one had heard from him since the party. As if you’d know.

On Sunday, you’d managed to tear yourself away from your bed—for longer than a trip to the kitchen or the bathroom—and out onto the couch. A rerun episode of Jihyo’s talk show was playing on the TV, the one that featured you and Jeonghan. You watched with a heavy heart as the two of you walked hand in hand, smiling, waving to the studio audience.

How could you ever fall in love with him? He was just another self serving rich boy who used you for his own personal gain. It didn’t matter that he was charming or funny or cute or—

Fuck, even when you were mad at him you found it impossible to ignore the beating of your own heart when you remembered just how nice it felt to be with him, even if it was all just for show.

Someone was knocking. You sighed, not wanting to get up, but the knocking only grew louder and more urgent.

“Okay, I’m coming! Damn…” You shouted, lifting yourself from the couch and over to the door, frowning at the person standing on the other side.

Jeonghan’s state of being didn’t seem to be any better than yours. His eyes had bags under them, his hair was in desperate need of a brush, and he was still in his pajamas. Even so, he smiled weakly at the sight of you. “I was worried you wouldn’t answer. I’m happy to see you’re doing okay.”

You scoffed. “I’m not.” You missed the way his smile dropped at that. “What do you want?”

“I want to apologize to you.”

Shaking your head, you started to shut the door, almost closing it on Jeonghan’s arm in the process.

“Wait, please! I really mean it, just give me a few minutes and then I’ll be gone, I swear.”

There was no way you were in your right mind, because you actually let him in. He smiled and followed you to the couch, sitting at a distance to keep you from getting uncomfortable.

“I thought about what you said at the party. The stuff you said about me wasn’t wrong. I was being selfish. I did only care about my image. You had every right to be upset with me.”

“I’m still upset with you.”

“And that’s perfectly fine, but just hear me out,” His voice was frantic. “Those two weeks I didn’t talk to you were the worst two weeks of my life. I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you. I really missed you, [Y/n]. And the more I thought about you, the more I realized that I was falling in love. I’m so in love with you, [Y/n].”

You weren’t buying it. “You could’ve texted me. Or called. Or something.”

Jeonghan turned to face you, eyes flickering over your face. “I wanted to, and I should’ve, but…”

“…But what?”

His cheeks were growing pinker by the second.

“But what, Jeonghan?”

“But I didn’t want you to leave me. I didn’t tell you how I felt because I thought it would overwhelm you. If you start to feel real feelings in a fake relationship, what are you supposed to do?” He sounded so…sad.

When the reality of his words finally sunk in, clarity followed. Jeonghan was in love with you. Jeonghan was scared that you would want things to be over. Jeonghan was worried about how you would react to him.

You breathed out a laugh.

“You’re such a dummy, Jeonghan. Why would I ever leave you?”

His sadness evaporated, now replaced with relief and joy and love. He pulled you into a hug and sighed happily when you returned it.

“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. My heart literally fucking broke when you cried because of me and my shitty attitude.”

“Oh, but I love your shitty attitude. Just not when it’s making me cry.”

“Good. Pretty girls shouldn’t cry.” He whispered against your lips before kissing you. You felt giddy at the way his lips moved against yours, smiling into the kiss. He gently pushed you so you were lying on your back, breaking away to look down at you.

“My pretty girl…” He said again, voice sweeter than sugar, fingers trailing up your legs. They felt cold against your burning hot skin, and it made you shiver. “Gonna let me make you feel good like you deserve?”

“Yes, Hannie, please.”

Jeonghan groaned, pausing the movement of his fingers to bask in the sound of you begging for him. You had no idea what you did to him and it made his dick that much harder. “Good girl. I’ll take care of you.”

“Hurry up, your hands are cold,” You whined. His eyes flashed with mischief, pressing his fingers down into the flesh of your inner thigh, watching you shiver and moan.

“I don’t know, I think that you like it, am I right?”

“If you don’t hurry up and touch me, I’ll do it myself.” To prove your point, you slipped your shorts off and tossed them somewhere onto the floor. Jeonghan touched you before you could even think about sliding off your underwear, cupping your leaking cunt with his hand.

“The only one who gets to play with this pretty pussy is me, baby. Don’t ever forget it.” You moaned at how fast his demeanor seemed to change, nodding furiously as you tried to grind into his hand to relieve the ache he was making you feel.

Pouting and panting, you looked up at him. “Hannie, don’t be mean…”

He found it insane how he didn’t realize how whipped he was for you earlier. Like really, he was totally wrapped around your finger. This must’ve been how you felt for all those years.

“Whatever you want, baby,” He lifted your legs a little higher, situating himself so he was lying flat on his stomach, face only a few inches away from your cunt. He pushed your underwear to the side, gasping at the sight of how wet you were. “Shit, baby, you’re fucking dripping.”

“Just for you.”

He seemed pleased with that. “Better be.”

Jeonghan buried his face in between your legs, groaning when the taste of you hits his mouth. He’s making an even bigger mess of you, licking at you greedily and sloppily, drowning himself in the wetness between your thighs.

You’re moaning louder than you think you ever have in your life. Shaky fingers slide into his soft dark hair, gripping tightly. He doesn’t seem to mind though, already too caught up in you to register the little bit of pain. You grind into his face, staining the lower half of his face with your arousal.

“Hannie, fuck,” You manage to say despite your fucked out state. Jeonghan hums, and the sensation makes your thighs close around his head. If you could speak, you would apologize, but Jeonghan seems to grow impossibly more aroused by the act.

He slips two of his fingers inside of you, it’s easy given how wet you are and keep getting, while he occupies his tongue on your clit. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, any and all coherent thoughts having escaped you in that moment. The only thing you could focus on was Jeonghan, his lips, and his fingers.

You could feel yourself getting close, a familiar feeling blooming in your stomach. Jeonghan could feel it too with the way you were tightening around his fingers and arching your back to stay as close to him as you can. He circles your clit with his tongue before starting to suck on it, your legs shaking with the force of your orgasm.

“You taste so good,” Jeonghan says, licking his lips clean of every last drop of you. He presses one last long, lingering kiss to your pussy before gathering the strength to pull away and wipe his mouth clean.

“We could’ve kept going.” The look you gave him was so innocent and sweet, a contrast to the way your legs were still spread open with your juices staining your inner thighs. You almost convinced him. Almost.

“Don’t look at me like that,” He spoke slowly and softly, as if he was in no rush to give you more despite the painfully obvious tent in his pants.

“Well then hurry up and fuck me already.”

Jeonghan doesn’t want to keep you waiting, but he can’t help but tease you just a little bit more. He sheds his clothes with little urgency, and he smirks like the little cocky shit he is when he sees the way you’re looking at him, like you could just devour him here and now. It’s like you were seeing him naked for the first time all over again, astonished by the sight of him. He was just so pretty all over.

He slides the tip of his cock up and down your slit, teasing your entrance until you were squirming. “Hannie, please,” you whined, steadying your hands on his shoulders. Clearly he was just as desperate as you were, because he pushed into with a groan no more than a moment later.

“So tight, baby, shit. Are you trying to make me cum already?”

His strokes are slow and deep, and you can feel every single inch of him inside of you as he drags himself all the way out before slamming back inside. Whenever you clench around him, he falters and lets himself moan something unintelligible about how good you feel or how pretty you are.

“F-Faster, Hannie, I want—” Jeonghan cut you off with a sloppy kiss, swallowing each and every one of your noises.

He cooed at you and shook his head with fake disapproval. “When did you get so demanding?” Your words turned into whimpers when he increased both the pace and the force of his thrusts, rendering your ability to speak useless. “You know I’ve got you baby, I know what you need.”

“Stop talking like that.” Your nails dragged down his back, streaking his unblemished skin with thin red lines.

“What are you gonna do if I don’t? You gonna cum and make a mess of yourself all over my cock, huh baby?”

You whimpered again, leaving Jeonghan to assume that he was correct and giving him yet another ego boost. With one hand, he pushed your shirt up to reveal your braless chest, kissing and sucking at the supple skin of your tits.

There was no way you weren’t going to be getting a noise complaint. The sounds coming from Jeonghan’s hips snapping against yours paired with the steady stream of sounds coming from both you and Jeonghan were sure to have them making a fuss. Not that any of that mattered at the moment, well, not to either of you.

His hand snakes between your bodies, rubbing feverishly at your abused bundle of nerves, whispering so sweetly into your ear the words “cum for me” which is all you needed before doing just that. Jeonghan watches your face as you cum, and he thinks that you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do now, letting yourself fall apart underneath him like this.

“I love you so much,” He says in between his strained grunts of pleasure. “So fucking much, baby.” Even after you had already cum, Jeonghan’s hips never once stopped moving against yours.

“I love you too, Hannie, fuck.” The overstimulation was starting to hit you, and you whimpered because of it.

“I know, baby. I’m almost there.”

His tip is bruising your sweet spot with each of his thrusts, making you squeeze around him impossibly tighter, and the feeling makes him so dizzy, reminding him of the fact that he is truly and utterly yours. “Want me to cum inside you, pretty girl? Use your words and tell me.”

“Yes, yes, please, Hannie! Need your cum inside of me!” Your mouth and body are reacting on their own, saying and doing what they want as you feel yourself cum a second time. He doesn’t hold back anymore, the warm sensation of his cum being fucked deeper and deeper into you overtaking all of your senses, leaving you feeling fuzzy and lightheaded.

Jeonghan’s head rests on your chest, breathing in your scent and listening to the sound of your heart. He’s too lazy and too tired to pull out, but you don’t mind. “Can you be my girlfriend for real now?” Even as you work to catch your breath, he still manages to make you laugh.

“Hm, I don’t know, nobody was around to hear you say that, should we go find you an audience?” You tease, and Jeonghan whines loudly and shakes his head.

“In that case, yes. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”