#// becky gets her own tag on all of my blogs always

[sxperflxity]

yes hi, @fcundwings, i hate you for getting me so damn invested in sons of anarachy. these tears are your fault.

[mittensmorgul]

So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways. 

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[fountainpenguin]

It’s an Update

Hello, Riddle here! I know I’ve been pretty quiet on Tumblr lately. Here’s an update on my situation:

I will definitely post more fanfic updates soon. I’ve picked at drafts, but haven’t posted anything lately. Here are the reasons why:

I got a new IRL job. It’s a good fit for me, but I have less free time than I used to, of course. It’s a job that involves writing lots of articles on a variety of topics, and I enjoy how every day is a little different

Most of my free time for the last year has gone towards my mod work at the Creature-Crossing ARPG, and to my personal CC writing. I’ve been working on new activities over there (my recent favorite being our seasonal familiar shows... I won first place in the summer show!) and I have a lot of plot plans that are coming together now. If you ever want to see my original characters and read my CC writing, you can find my character directory HERE and my Table of Contents HERE.

Once November 1st hits, I won’t be preparing for the release of any more CC activities or events. All future activity or event releases will be overseen by the other mods, and I’ll simply be someone they can ask for extra help if needed. This is a big change for a mod who spent the last 12 months working on new releases, and will give me back some of the free time my IRL job will eat

The Creature-Crossing admin (my boss) greenlit my request to bring an assistant on the mod team who will specifically help me with a lot of my behind-the-scenes work, such as data entry and organization. I’ve never had another mod who specifically helps me with the back end duties before, so that will be awesome. I will need to spend some time training them, but once they are official, that will take some of my workload off and allow me more free time for this blog and personal writing time.

===

Fanfic updates you can expect to see soon:

- Reedfilter Rules

- Frayed Knots

- Origin of the Pixies

- Debut of Factor It In, my Kid Math-centric “WordGirl” fanfic (Subtitled “Tales of a third-grade superhero in training”)... Yes I am still in love with this idiot boy, expect lots of doodle pages soon

- The 130 Prompts project is on a slow-burn writing schedule... I’ll write for it when I want to, but I mostly want to focus on Origin and Knots this year.

Further info below the cut. There is more info about non-Fairly OddParents ‘fics in here too (under “non-FOP fanfics”), so if you’re looking forward to Mario World or “WordGirl” ‘fics from me, give this a click so you know what’s coming!

So, what does this update mean for your fanfics?

They’ll be active again soon! I’ve been picking at them behind the scenes, trying to build up a buffer. In an ideal world, I would love to release a new chapter for SOMETHING every Friday. I doubt this will be possible, but it’s something I would love to work towards in the future. Realistically, you can probably expect some kind of fanfic update once every two Fridays (two updates per month).

There might be some Fridays where posting an update is not possible. Instead, I’ll make a post about what progress I made instead. In the past, I often overworked myself to get a chapter out in time for my old deadline. I will not be doing that anymore, but will instead hold myself to a goal of “Make progress on something every week.”

In the best ideal world, I would love to post one FOP fanfic update per week and one non-FOP fanfic update per week. This is not likely to happen for a long, long time, but that would be the dream.

-

Here are the things I most likely worked on if there is no fanfic update:

- A fanfic chapter draft that needs more time

- A sideblog profile

- A Toyhouse profile for personal characters

- IRL work or mod work may have kept me busy this week

- Creature-Crossing writing... I will try to prioritize my fanfics more, but my CC writing is still important to me and I will be working on it in a lot of my free time too. At the moment, I have a hard deadline of December 14th that I need to meet if I want to release huge plot drama on the day that it happens in canon. I’ve been building up to this for a long time, so I’m really excited about that.

I currently have summer or autumn 2022 planned as the “finale” for the majority of my plot to explode. I will be hosting a member-run event in Creature-Crossing that will last for two months, so a lot of my time from January until the event’s release will be spent doing event prep. Once the event ends, my story content will mostly be a “return to slice of life.” Stories will be more casual one-offs as characters grow, live their lives, and start their own families. Hitting seasonal deadlines for plot will no longer be so important. I’ll be giving Creature-Crossing work less attention after that, and much more attention to my fanfics.

- I may not have a fanfic chapter out each week, but I WILL post a note every Friday to let you know what I have been doing with my time. You’ll see me around. Feel free to send Asks and talk!

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What non-FOP fanfics would you like to work on?

For literal years, I’ve been claiming I want to post Mario World fanfics. This is still something I want to do. I tag Mario World posts as “mushrooms and more.” I’ve already done a lot of worldbuilding, I have thousands of words of content written for this fandom... I just haven’t posted any of it. I hope to do this soon.

- “WordGirl” fanfics are prioritized over Mario World fanfics. After I finish my first “WordGirl” multi-chapter, I will probably be ready to post my Mario World ‘fics. I may possibly post some Mario World one-shots in between other fanfic updates. Might take another year or more before I touch Mario stuff unless there’s high interest in seeing it sooner?

I also really want to write some WordGirl ‘fics and get more involved with the fandom community. I’ve been building headcanons and lore for this show ever since I was a kid, and I have multiple ‘fics for this fandom that I want to write.

- “AlgoRhythm” is a ‘fic I have already posted on FFN and AO3, about WordGirl introducing Kid Math to the villains in town

- 28 Cities is a ‘fic I started about Rhyme and Reason before they arrived in Fair City. I put it on hiatus since it didn’t seem like anyone was interested, but I’m willing to post more for it if there is interest in it now that years have passed and I’ve gotten more followers who like WordGirl. I have a lot of worldbuilding and plot I never shared for it

- Factor It In is a ‘fic I’ve been working for a while that parallels the official show from the moment Kid Math arrives in town. It focuses on Rex’s struggle to adjust to this world as a child coming into his superpowers for the first time (Y’know, the whole “superheroes don’t have powers when they’re on their home planets” thing), his struggle to adapt to the social world of a non-logical planet, and Becky’s struggle to help him become accustomed to Earth and learn to share it with her as well. If the episode “Kid Math” was a full-length novel about Rex’s arrival and character development, that’s what this story is. This is the highest priority of all my non-FOP ‘fics... I’ve had a cover image made for 6 months and even though I tried setting it aside, I’ve always been super inspired to write for it. If I felt like it would be a good idea to commit to weekly updates alongside my FOP updates, I would, haha.

- I have two one-shot WIPs called “Squishy Feelings” and “A Little Ambiguity”, one of them focusing on Becky and Rex talking about the events of “Rhyme and Reason” and what it means for Rex’s secret identity, and the latter being a future ‘fic showing WordGirl and Kid Math dealing with life 10 to 15 years down the road. I’ll probably post the latter, not sure yet on the former.

- If desired, I may make a WordGirl specific sideblog where I post lore, answer Asks, post character profiles [smaller than my FOP sideblog ones], and mention fanfic updates. If you would be interested in this, feel free to send me an Ask requesting I do this. If there’s not interest, I’ll just keep my WordGirl stuff on the main blog.

- I’d like to get more involved in the WordGirl community, so I’ll probably post more content and reblog more art and headcanons

I also have a handful of miscellaneous ideas I might follow through with. I’d like to write at least one “TUFF Puppy” fanfic so I can say I did. In a perfect world I would like to finish the two “Danny Phantom” and “Bunsen Is a Beast” fanfics I started because... I just kind of want to dip my toe in each of the Hartman shows once since I already went through all the effort of worldbuilding for them to make them canon in a single Hartman show universe. “ChalkZone” is another show I adore and might touch someday (You may recall I have a full outline planned for an FOP/ChalkZone crossover ‘fic called “Dust to Dust”).

Will I write all of these things? Maybe not. I have no idea if I want to spend the next 10+ years writing fanfics, or if I’ll simply be done with all misc. fanfics immediately once I decide to be done with my main ‘fics. I definitely intend to write for a few more years and finish my main ‘fics, but I might not go through with some less popular side ‘fics if life is getting busy for me.

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What is the posting schedule for FOP ‘fics?

Reedfilter Rules, Frayed Knots, Origin of the Pixies, the 130 Prompts project, and “Come What May” are all high priority FOP writings. I will swap between them depending on my mood that week.

Here are some other ‘fics I want to work on.

- If you like, you can send me Asks requesting I work on a specific story above the rest. I will try to prioritize whichever stories interest you guys most.

Snips and Snails is a ‘fic I started and posted the first chapter for years ago. I’m not sure when I will get back to it, as I ran into some writer’s block. It’s still on tentative hiatus for now..... Possibly forever, though I hope it isn’t forever since it’s only supposed to be, like, five more chapters.

Pink and Gray is on official hiatus. I actually have a lot written for it, but I know it’s a little weird to put so much time and energy into Gary and Betty content when... well, let’s be honest: they’re my niche favorites and most of you probably don’t care. So, I am lifting my usual “no spoilers” policy from my Ask Box. If you would like to ask about my Gary and Betty backstory headcanons, feel free. I will tag my replies as “ridwriting spoilers” for anyone who wants to blacklist the tag, and spoilers will be hidden under a Read More line. 

I’d like to return to this story someday because there are tons of things I like about it (ranging from Betty’s secret tattoos to Gary’s plot drama with his mom to the background drama between Talon and Anti-Cosmo, but I always feel immense pressure to make it extra cool to make up for the fact these are weird side characters, so... it’s officially at the bottom of the priority pile. Once Talon shows up in Frayed Knots and readers understand who he is and why he exists, I’ll consider coming back to it.

Identity Theft is a story about Foop and his time in the alternate dimension he was flung into following the episode “Playdate of Doom.” To put it short, Foop was abused by alternate versions of his parents in this dimension and he witnessed some pretty intense stuff, including the death of the alt version of himself who existed in that reality. The trauma he experienced resulted in his alternate personality, Hiccup. Foop himself has very few memories of what happened, as Hiccup has all of those memories. This story is canon in my works, and it is regularly referred to during the 130 Prompts as part of Foop’s backstory. It’s my highest priority side story to work on.

Along the Cherry Lane is a 20-chapter work focusing on the lives of the main human cast from age 11 to age 30, with one chapter showing a snippet of their lives each year. You see Timmy raising Tommy and Tammy in this ‘fic, and it ends with them receiving godparents. Since the 130 Prompts don’t give humans much attention, this ‘fic does. You’ll probably see it debut two years from now, closer to when the 130 Prompts is ready to talk more about humans.

If this becomes a popular ‘fic of mine, I’ll probably write a sequel or continue it past Chapter 30 and write about Tammy and Tommy living with fairies, but I won’t if there’s no interest in that.

Little Imperfections is a Pixie AU ‘fic of mine about what life would be like in a universe where the Fairies are even more like insects than I play them as during my main works (where I already play them as semi-similar to insects). In this world, the Head Pixie is a figurehead whose duty is to reproduce for the sake of the colony and do nothing else, and he’s bored out of his mind until he befriends Sanderson, who introduces him to music. It’s extremely self-indulgent and silly because I like Pixies.

Francis is a multi-chapter ‘fic about bully Francis’s life getting yet another fairy godparent in a long string of memory wipes and godparents. It takes place during the canon series, and when you see an “orange fairy” mentioned in some of my writings, it’s usually referring to this fairy. His name is Rover and I occasionally post art of him. I feel like I can’t truly call myself an FOP fanfic writer until I actually write about a godkid and their godparents, haha...

Hawthorn Haven is a side ‘fic that will be posted towards the end of the 130 Prompts, as it veers off from the prompts in its own self-contained multi-chapter story. It will be approximately the length of “Baby, You’re a Rich Man.”

Acacia Arcadia is a far-past ‘fic detailing the fall of the ancient fae, the imprisonment of the nature spirits, the rise and fall of the chimera nation, the fall of the Martian genies, and the early days of the cloudlands. This is close to the bottom of the priority pile... It’s something I spend time on for personal reference to ensure accuracy in my other ‘fics, but it’s probably not what you guys came here to read.

AA has a bunch of characters in it that you might vaguely recognize, such as Ezekiel Whimsifinado, Evadne, Ione, Two Feathers, Rho, and Sablewood (If you’re astute, you might recall cloudland legends and landmarks in modern day that refer back to these characters). There are also a lot of characters who were reincarnated as Anti-Fairies, in accordance to traditional Anti-Fairy beliefs; Foop for example exists as a main character in one of his past lives, and you’ll see a hint dropped about each of his lives in the first chapter of Identity Theft. My tentative plan is to use Foop’s past lives as my central characters, following the events of each part of the timeline until he gets killed and reincarnates at a later point of the timeline.

I also keep some one-shots in a file I call Mixed Nuts and I may possibly post them someday (they’re mostly just one-shots of main cast characters I do to get a feel for their personalities, I have some Wanda and Cupid in here). @zachbrightside and I are also working on a collab ‘fic called Like a House On Fire that shows more of Timmy and Chloe’s lives during Season 10 (especially around the time of “Which Is Wish?”) No news on a release date for that yet.

-

As I’ve said before, once all my other FOP works are complete, I will write Devil’s Backbone, which is my far-future ‘fic and the finale of my FOP writing. I do not plan to write any more FOP content after that story is finished, as I expect to have all other FOP projects done by then.

- Devil’s Backbone is a finale 'fic, so all worldbuilding from all stories is fair game to blend together, and it’s highly recommended you read everything else first. This story has been outlined since 2016, and it might not be published for another 10 years... Who knows! But it’s something I always work towards as a concrete endgame goal.

- If something serious comes up in my life and I officially decide I don’t want to write this story, I will post the outline for it. The link to this draft is included with all the other Google Docs links I have in a far-future queued post unveiling my WIPs in case I unexpectedly die and you still want to know how my stories would have gone, so you’ll get access to this story eventually even if I die young. Yes, share access is turned on for them all and I do take extra careful measures to be sure that post doesn’t get posted early skldfj

===

What is the plan for the main blog?

Every Friday, I will post either a fanfic chapter or a progress update. You can blacklist the tag “ridlife” if you do not want to see the progress updates on your dashboard. Fanfic updates will not have the “ridlife” tag, so you will not be blocking them.

During the rest of the week, I might post doodles, reblogs, or general comments. Basically... you’ll see the blog become active again. Feel free to send in Asks about my worldbuilding and thoughts on fanfic characters.

@fountainpenguin is my personal blog, so you will see non-fandom things on here sometimes

@riddledeep is my FOP-exclusive sideblog. It contains all my lore notes and goes into a ton of depth, more than my fanfics give in one breath

===

What does this mean for the Riddledeep sideblog?

I really want to go back and edit those character profiles that were posted early by mistake. The reason they were queued is because if I turned them into drafts, they would have been buried all the way at the beginning of my draft collection, and I have many, many drafts saved. There are no page numbers to navigate quickly through the draft collection, so I would have to click through each page one by one if I ever wanted to look at them. I hated doing this, which is why I kept my posts queued.

I was regularly updating the queue deadlines, trying to keep things in the order I wanted to post them in, but Tumblr made a change to the way drafts are dated and it kept throwing off my system. My inability to remember when my queued things would post combined with my busy schedule led to some profiles being posted early and incomplete. I want to fix these.

Over a year ago, my good friend Vulpix150 helped me finalize my designs for the Aos Sí and Daoine Sith. I’ve been sitting on that art in secret for a while, and at some point I plan to post it on the sideblog and talk more about that lore.

Updating fanfics is my higher priority (and it was the priority my followers voted for when I asked you to send votes to my Ask Box a while back). So, I will usually spend my free time working on fanfics unless I need a break from them and want to work on sideblog profiles instead. Thank you for your patience!

===

TL;DR

I’m posting fanfics again soon. I’m going to take a more relaxed approach to posting them. I’m going to post more of what I want to post and what I feel motivated to post, not always a main ‘fic update. If I’m not “feeling it” when working on a draft, then I’ll set it aside for a while unless I know my followers and readers have high interest in the next chapter of that story. I always write for me first, but if I know there are other people who care a lot about a story, then of course I want to write it for you too!

I’m going to embrace my decade-long love for WordGirl and post more ‘fics and art or this fandom. I’ve always been a little shy about doing this, but I’m ready to make it an official fandom on my main blog (unless there are lots of requests for WordGirl things to be contained in their own sideblog). I will be posting the first chapter for a ‘fic called Factor It In very soon. Love my easily frustrated alien kiddos having a long day.

I am working on Creature-Crossing stuff too, and will be especially busy in November and December. Updates will be slow for a few months, but I hope to find my groove and a good pace soon.

Each Friday, I will post either a fanfic update or a mention of what I am working on. I will be checking in on Tumblr regularly. Feel free to talk! I much prefer you send messages to my Ask Box, not my private messenger, please <3

===

Is there a specific story of mine you like and want more updates for?

Asks and reviews help me know which ‘fics people are enjoying. I plan to keep writing ‘fics no matter what, but I definitely give more time to the ‘fics that get more attention (and I have been spending so much time writing for Creature-Crossing because that’s where the attention was coming from)

It’s easy to stay motivated and get the next part of a story out soon if I know that people like it. It’s always harder if you feel like people are silently judging you and ignoring your posts. So, let me know what you’re interested in. And if you only leave Likes or Favorites instead of asks and reviews, that’s okay too! Thank you for interacting anyway and enjoying my work.

Thanks for reading!

[deathonyourtongue]

It’s Not Over

Summary: Seven years on and the honeymoon is definitely over. Pairing: Ray Merrimen x Yvonne Levoux Word Count: 2K Warnings: A lil’ bit ‘o angst. Just a smidge though. Happy ending, I promise. A/N : This sequel was also commissioned by the fantastic @livinglifeformemyselfandi​. Thank you for all your support, hon!!

Send me a PM me if you’d like to be added/removed from the tag list!

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They say that a marriage is tested at the seven-year mark, and as their anniversary approached, Yvonne was feeling the pressure.

For some reason, all their friends and family had gotten it into their heads that this was the anniversary that required an all-out party. Thankfully for her and Ray, they weren’t allowed to have a hand in any part of the planning, but that didn’t mean that Yvonne was any less stressed about it. 

“I’m telling you, if you put Eric next to Enson, there’s going to be a fight. Just telling you that right now. Don’t do it. I know, I know I’m not supposed to have any say, but I’m letting you know. Okay, bye. Love you too.” 

Sighing, Yvonne hung up the phone in her office, looking at her watch and seeing that, once again, she’d ended up working overtime. Checking her cell, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed; yet again, no text from Ray. 

Yvonne felt like she was on a mountainside with a quickly moving avalanche about to crash right onto her head. The stress of the anniversary coupled with the fact that her and Ray had firmly left the honeymoon stage of their relationship was beginning to take its toll. More than anything however, was the fact that Ray was still planning and executing heists. 

For years, Yvonne had turned a blind eye to her husband’s line of work. She’d taken inspiration from mafia wives both real and fictional, figuring that if they could make it work, so could she. Part of her initial attraction to Ray had been the fact that he’d always been something of a ‘bad boy’, even when he was a Marine. Now, heading into year seven, she was over it. Figuring out a way to broach the subject was the cherry on top of her mountain of stress. 

Rubbing her temples, Yvonne took a deep breath and grabbed her purse to go home. If things went her way, she’d be able to have some alone time before the party and put herself in a better headspace to enjoy a celebration she didn’t feel very festive about. 

To her horror, Yvonne realized the moment she turned onto her street that alone time was out of the question. With four cars crammed into her driveway like sardines, and ten to twelve more parked along the side of the street, she found herself having to park her own car at the end of her block. Frustration growing with every step, her only hope was that this was their party and not some pre-bash thrown by one of the boys in an attempt to get everyone wrecked before the actual party began. Bass thumped loud enough to be heard well away from her front door, and as she walked in without needing her key, Yvonne could feel herself hitting the tipping point.

It was the strippers that threw her over the edge. 

Ray sat on the couch flanked by two women she’d only met in passing, back before her and her husband had ever become an item. She’d been jealous of them then, knowing full well that they got to enjoy Ray in a way she, at the time, thought she never would. Now, seeing them fawning all over her husband, Yvonne was seeing red. 

With the decency to at least look shocked and contrite, Ray immediately got up and moved to greet her, hoping to smooth things over before any trouble could start. Smiling softly, he went to wrap his arms around her to welcome her home, but Yvonne was having none of it. 

“Get off me,” Yvonne hissed under her breath, her face remaining neutral as she looked past him, realizing given who was there, that everyone had agreed on the pre-party, including her own family. 

“I’m gonna go get ready. You better have this place cleared out by the time I’m done, and you and I are going to have a nice long chat before we leave.” Locking eyes with Ray to make sure he understood the severity of her position, Yvonne made her way to their bedroom and firmly locked the door behind her. 

After making sure she was truly alone, she allowed herself a few moments to wallow. Head in hand, she cried softly, letting all the self-doubt and anxiety washing over her. She couldn’t be sad when discussing things with Ray, because in her mind, it felt like emotional manipulation. She needed to be stoic, resolute, and reasonably angry with the situation at hand. Tears poured down her face as she realized things were truly coming to a head. Months and months of drifting apart had led to this very moment, and for a split second, Yvonne allowed herself to question if it was all worth it. 

Hearing the music turn off, Yvonne wiped her eyes and headed for the bathroom, knowing she only had a bit of time before everyone would be at the venue, waiting on her and Ray. Unlocking the bedroom door silently on her way to their en-suite, she wasn’t surprised when she heard the knob turn while she began touching up her makeup. 

Yvonne kept her back to Ray as he sat on the bed with a sigh, the mirror reflecting the stress in his body language as he rubbed a hand over his buzzed hair. Though part of her heart softened at seeing him looking earnestly upset, Yvonne had to remind herself that it wasn’t just tonight that had caused her stress, but the overall pattern of behavior Ray had displayed with more and more frequency over the last few months. 

With one last swipe of highlighter across her high cheekbones, Yvonne finally turned to face her husband, her own expression stoic and aloof. “Do you still love me? Do you still want to be with me? Or do you want me to cut you loose and let you go?” 

Ray’s reaction wasn’t at all what she’d expected, and Yvonne found a lump forming in her throat as she watched her husband. Eyes wide with shock and hurt, it was clear that this was news to him, and for a moment, Yvonne felt bad for starting off with such pointed questions. 

“How are you even going to ask me that? Of course I love you, of course I want to be with you! What the hell, Yvonne?”

“You have a real funny way of showing it, Ray. Looked pretty comfy between Becky and Lourdes there. Not to mention all the days where I text and you don’t answer back for hours, if at all. Coming home and finding you either not there, or just sitting on the couch, having done nothing to help around the house. Can’t remember the last time you told me you loved me, hugged me, or even really kissed me. And don’t think I don’t know what happened on the last job, Ray!” Yvonne was careful in how she phrased her accusations; while neither her nor Ray were so paranoid as to think their house was bugged, she never wanted something she said to incriminate him in any way. 

Ray was silent for a moment, scrubbing a hand over his face before looking up at his wife. She could see the anger in his eyes even before she heard it in his voice.

“You know damn well that wasn’t what was supposed to happen! And don’t even start about the girls. I’ve never once looked at another woman since getting with you, and I damn well wasn’t about to start today on our anniversary! It takes two to tango, so while you’re over here saying I’m not home, I’m not helping, etcetera, when’s the last time you were actually home on time? When’s the last time you actually spent your days off hanging out with me when I ask you to instead of brushing me off and burying yourself in your files and books? When’s the last time you weren’t embarrassed to be seen with me, Yvonne?”

The last one stung, because there was a grain of truth to it. 

Though not a conscious choice at first, Yvonne had begun putting distance between herself and Ray, mainly because of his line of work and how he chose to carry himself. It wasn’t so much embarrassment as it was the reaction of her colleagues, co-workers and other professionals when it came to Ray. She could clearly remember the night she brought him to one of the fundraising galas her group had thrown to raise awareness for mental health. Despite donning a suit and being as polite and professional as he could be, as the night progressed and people began to rub him the wrong way, Ray’s true colors came out. By the time it was over, Yvonne was well aware they were being whispered about and that inviting him to any future events was out of the question. 

“I just...I didn’t think you’d still be doing what you’re doing all these years later. Thought after the first big one, you’d have put in the towel and found something else to fill your time.” 

“Say it, Yvonne. I wanna hear it from your lips. Go on, say that you’re tired of me doing what I do, and then just give me that ultimatum we both know is coming.” 

“Is that what you want? Want me to show you the door, Ray? Want the easy way out, because you can’t stop for one second and think about how your actions have consequences that extend far beyond your own selfish ego?”

“Selfish? Oh, I’m selfish? Funny. Last I checked what I do for a living put this roof over your head and all those designer outfits in your closet. It’s nice to have a husband that can get you whatever you want whenever you want, so long as you don’t have to think about how he gets his money.”

“Excuse me, but did you forget that I work too? That I contribute? That I had money in the bank long before you came along? Don’t kid yourself, Ray. If we end things, I’m not going to be out on the street begging for change. And don’t you dare make this about the money! You know I don’t care about that. I care about you making it home, about you not doing another run in Victorville. I care about you being here for-” 

Yvonne didn’t realize she was crying until the hiccuped sob left her throat mid-sentence. Wiping her eyes without regard for how smeared her makeup got, she looked up at the ceiling for a moment, wishing she’d been able to tell him under better circumstances. 

“I care about you. I love you, Ray. I want you to stop, because if something happened to you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, and I wouldn’t be the only one you’d be leaving behind.” 

Face crumbling, Yvonne sunk into the highback chair that sat by the window across from their bed. The room was silent aside from her sniffles, and when she finally looked up, it was to a frown on Ray’s face. Despite all their troubles, they’d had a few good days here and there, and on more than one of those days, they’d been too caught up to take the usual precautions. Now, with everything hanging in the balance, Yvonne felt like kicking herself for not being careful.

When it was clear Ray wasn’t going to say a word, Yvonne stood up and moved back to the bathroom, hoping some cold water would stop the tears and ease the ache that was already squeezing her heart.

“You can go, Ray. I’m staying home tonight. Don’t feel much like celebrating,” she said bitterly, tears slipping down her face faster than she could wipe them away with her makeup towel. Closing her eyes tight, she let the ice-cold water dissolve her tears, Yvonne hoping that by the time she was ready to dry her face, that Ray would be gone. 

Instead, she found him behind her, his face unreadable. Turning to face him, Yvonne did her best to remember her own hurt and the fact the fact that the choices he made were ones she could no longer live with.

“We’re having a baby?” He whispered, disbelief and wonder coating his tone. With the utmost care, Ray slid his hand along Yvonne’s still-flat stomach, almost as if touching it would make it real in his mind. Looking up, Yvonne’s dissolve crumbled a little more, seeing Ray’s lip quivering as he focused his attention on where he was touching. 

“Yeah. If you want to, yeah,” she choked out, her own voice barely audible. 

The hug she was engulfed in took her breath away and reminded her of their first hug, back when he’d been released, only this one was much more intense.

“Whatever it takes, I’m willing to put in the work. I don’t want to lose you. That was never my intention, ever, Yvonne. I need you to know that. I love you with all my heart and soul. I know I said I understood what it did to you and to our families back when we first got together, but I didn’t. Not truly. It stops now. I’m done. I can’t risk losing the most precious thing in my life; you.”

When the tears subsided, Yvonne reached up and wiped Ray’s eyes, smiling as she felt his thumbs gently brush under her own. “I love you, Ray. Always have, always will. We just couldn’t keep going the way we were or we’d end up having to go our separate ways.   

“I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t shown it. That stops today too.” Ray affirmed, nuzzling his face into her touch before placing a sweet kiss to the center of her palm. Cupping her face, he sealed his promise, kissing Yvonne deeply as he blindly pulled her up into his arms. 

With her legs locked around his waist, Yvonne couldn’t keep from smiling, even if she wanted to. One hand stroking over Ray’s head while the other pressed gently on his chest, Yvonne’s grin grew ear-to-ear as he carried her towards their bed, setting her down softly before making quick work of burying his head under her flowing skirt. 

“You keep this up and we’re gonna be late, baby.” She chuckled, a sharp inhale coming on the heels of her words. The feeling her husband’s wet tongue sliding through her folds even as he peeled off her thong was enough to stop any higher brain function, and Yvonne let her eyes close, enjoying the moment. 

“They can wait.” Ray answered, his head popping out from under her skirt, her thong swinging around his index finger. Yvonne was still laughing even as Ray dove back in, sensing the change in her husband and knowing that, once and for all, Ray was home. 

[masonscig]

about me tag game

rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagged by: i was tagged by a bunch of people so thank u to @lilas, @veeples, @admdmrtn, @agentsunshine, @echohauville and @masonsfangs for thinking of me !!! and im using the edited version by meg @/lilas !!!

tagging: @raleighcarrera, @pixeljazzy, @bravomckenzie and whoever else wants to do this !!!

name/nickname: jade / please is there really a way to give me a nickname... most people make it longer when they try LMFAOOO

gender: she/her

star sign: I AM AN ARIES WOMAN [virgo ↑ sagittarius ☽]

height: 4′10...................... anyways

birthday: march 29th [the way im about to have my second birthday in quarantine im absolutely SICK]

lucky number: none bc i have the worst luck on the planet. i like even numbers tho

when did you create this blog: i made this sideblog in like... june i think ?

what do I post: all twc – i reblog twc art, edits, and fics [even though i’ve been really terrible at that lately since i’ve been active in another fandom atm]. i post commissions of my own, occasional headcanons, shitposts, fics every once in a blue moon.... tbh im boring on here :/ sowwy

last thing googled: jared hess’s filmography [nacho libre / gentleman broncos supremacy]

do I get asks: occasionally ! i usually get them from my friends and forget to answer them [i am SO sorry rip to chrisha and esme and kat and becky and alicia and baylee..... yall are the vips i don’t deserve u]. and i get some prompts i never finish.... i love funny anons pls send sum of those

why I chose my url: bc i wanted something relating to mason! and since he doesn’t have a canon last name i had to choose something that was close enough for me. i’m genuinely obsessed w my url like i was FLOORED when it wasn’t copped SKDFKSDJ i don’t think i’d ever change it

*my current projects/wips: i have.... many wips bc ill have an idea and a basic passage and i’ll jot it down and take forever to actually finish it – the attached series is on hiatus for now while i write for another fandom, but i’m working on that, a spiritual sequel to another mason fic i wrote before, another mason fic, a felix fic w my new detective, and some prompts i might get to eventually. i am the literal worst at finishing wips LMFAOOOO

favorite bands: hmm i don’t listen to too many bands, so i’ll include rap groups, and girl groups! foster the people, pivot gang, the internet, bad suns, & two door cinema club, chloe x halle, city girls, and wu-tang clan !

favorite solo artists: buckle up biddies! these are my favs at the moment + some are my favs of all time – rihanna, megan thee stallion, bree runway, smino, tei shi, sza, flo milli, ari lennox, tinashe, slayyyter, cordae, schoolboy q, vince staples ... ok ill stop here

song stuck in my head: unrequited love by thundercat GOD it’s so good but haunting i LOVE it

favorite song: kiss it better by rihanna will always be my favorite song of all time no contest

last movie: don verdean bc i wanted to finish watching all of jared hess’s films ! 

last show: jojo’s bizarre adventure part 5 [i am a mista and bucciarati simp first, human being second]

favorite food: i love food and eating omg so this one is hard as hell

*food I hate: h*t d*gs and chili idk how the hell yall eat that shit

*favorite color: i really love mustard yellow and any deep green color !

*favorite animal: omg.... i love monkeys and dogs and cats... idk i love all animals tbh KSKDKKDFS

what I’m currently wearing: cotton shorts, a tank top, and my grandpa’s sweater [he passed last year and my grandma gifted a bunch of his old sweaters to me so it’s v comforting]

dream job: haha should i get existential here..... i genuinely don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing w my life SKJFDKSDJKJSD anyways !

dream trip: tokyo w my boyfriend !!!! we’ve been talking about it for years so i think it’d be the trip of a lifetime

*currently reading: i was trying to reread twilight but i got distracted LMAO [don’t worry i read my old copy from middle school i aint giving her any money]

*currently thinking about: finishing wips for an appreciation week i’m running, 

nationality: usa :/

*fun fact: during the first month or so i started dating my bf we were swimming at my house and i tripped over my sleeping dog and tore my knee up and i still have the scar to this day ! and we’re still dating almost 8 years later LMAOOO 

top three fictional universes: god im thinking more anime but i’d prob choose hxh or mha or any universe yuasa comes up with bc he writes women so well

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 89

Chapter Summary -  Danielle stays in Ireland to deal with the house situation as Tom heads back for the Kong Skull Island premiere.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​​ @wolfsmom1​​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Danielle sat waiting in the solicitor's office, a cup of tea on the table next to her, a small but significant piece of paper under her hand. She thought of how she had dropped Tom to the airport that morning, telling him she would be home in less than a week hopefully, that she would see him before he went on the international part of the Kong Tour.

Again she looked at the small piece of paper in her hand, it had taken Tom another two minutes to convince her it was the right thing to do, and a small call to NatWest to confirm that yes, given her credit history and the fact she had her house as collateral, she very much was guaranteed the loan. So with a small transfer and a trip to her Credit Union, she and Tom were able to hold the piece of paper that meant that she would get to pay for her aunt's part of the house. Tom smiled as she looked at it, clearly ecstatic as to what it meant for her. When he had asked her what was her plans, she simply shrugged and stated the other half, when she could.

She was brought back to the present by the sound of people walking down the hallway towards her. She knew by the irked voice of one that it was her aunt, she inhaled deeply and waited for the door to open. When Bernadette entered the room, she looked angrily at Danielle. "What do you want? I suppose you are going to try and stop me from forcing the sale?"

"Just sit down, Bernie," Danielle growled.

"You have no respect," The woman commented, but she did what was required. "Where is the solicitor gone?"

"To get the last of the paperwork."

"What paperwork and what would you know, you dropped out of college, Mattie was too soft on you, you went on to do nothing."

"I would disagree, I have a great paying job, I have a nice home and a good hard-working boyfriend, things are very much going well for me Bernie, not that I am overly bothered by your opinion, though I do use it to gauge things. What you find to be terrible and anger, I know my father would have approved of, so thank you for setting my concerns to rest." Danielle smiled sweetly just as the solicitor re-entered the room.

"Right, so it is a fair swap really, nothing of great note, you Danielle Hughes, are offering the whole twenty-five thousand euro share of the house at Droichead Beag, Connemara, Galway to Bernadette Whelan, your aunt and on her accepting, she is signing over her share of the building and her legal rights to it. That is the general gist of this." The solicitor explained.

Bernadette frowned then looked at Danielle, who looked at her for her reaction before pushing the draft forward. "How?"

"I told you already, I have more than enough money." Danielle grinned. "Oh and I still want my mother's things back. I mean it, Bernie, I am going home tomorrow, I want them back before I head to the airport. I have spoken with Michael and Lourda, I have a guy coming to change the locks today and you will not be given a key, you are no longer responsible for anything in the house and you will not have to concern yourself with its maintenance or bills."

"Fine." Bernadette went for the bank draft, which Danielle pulled back.

"I will give this to Mr Roberts, you will sign that legal document, he will give us a copy each and you will get your money then."

"Are you trying to imply I would try to rob it?" Bernadette snapped, her face showing how appalled she was by the idea.

"No, but that is the legal process." Danielle scoffed, "So sign the damn paper so I can get on with my day. I need to go shopping for a dress."

"What would you want a dress for, you never wore dresses when your father was alive?" "I have something to go to as soon as I return to London, so chop-chop, I'm a busy woman."

* Danielle smiled as she drove to the airport. She had slept well enough as Tom's smell was still on the side of the bed that he had been on and knowing that they would return there soon, her holding the largest part of the home she always wanted making her excited and happy. She had gotten a dress the day before after the solicitors and with her hair and make-up booked, she looked forward to going home, to being home with Tom again, arranging for them to go public and finally be able to do things together. The idea of them and Mac going for a walk in Hampstead Heath was enticing in ways she could not vocalise, she knew at first there would be people annoying them, but she knew too that they would be old news again in the near future.

She handed back the car and went to the check-in desk, she knew Tom would be busy all day, he had to prep and get ready for the premier. He had texted earlier in the day to ask her how she was getting on, she gave him a story about getting the legal work signed and said little else before the car to ready him for the day arrived, so with 'I love you's' and goodbyes, they said they would talk later.

As it stood, she arrived in London on time and was able to get a taxi back to the house, it felt almost odd to be back and for Tom not to be there, but with too little time to worry about things, she rushed around, getting her bag and everything brought back upstairs and into the room, she looked around, Tom had it as it always was, but she realised that the bed was unkempt in the centre and not to the side, causing her to laugh slight, Tom clearly taking advantage of the greater space. She took out the dress and went into the wardrobe to get the shoes she knew would work with it. Just then, her phone rang. "Hey, Nacelle."

"So, I spoke to Henry, he said that he can fit you in, he is brilliant, I trained with him, I would not allow some half-wit at you."

"You're the best Nacelle."

"You know it darling, listen, how does lunch at ours sound next week?"

"Brilliant, day and time and I'll be there."

"Woohoo, we will wait until lover boy is on the road so you'll have something to do other than pine for him."

"I will not pine, I will mope quietly in a corner and pretend not to eat my own weight in Ben and Jerry's." Nacelle laughed. "I'll be fine, it's only two to three weeks."

"How was Ireland?"

"Wet, wetter than usual."

"So submerged then?"

"Effectively, here faired no better I can see."

"Apparently not if you listen to Becky. Anyway, I will talk to you later, Henry is lovely, he'll look after you."

"Thanks again Nacelle."

"Anytime girl, I'll look after you." Nacelle sang before hanging up the phone.

With her dress and shoes in hand, Danielle rushed outside and into the waiting taxi, texting the address as she went.

* Tom smiled brightly as the rain fell, there had been one question about Taylor, but he dismissed it, focusing on the movie instead, he smiled, posed and spoke with his fellow cast members for what seemed like an hour on the carpet. He loved that the tour was starting at home, he would be able to get another few days at home. More importantly, if Danielle could get everything sorted in Ireland, she could come home, he could spend a few more days with her before he left again, that caused him to smile more.

He joked and smiled as he, Brie Larson and Samuel Jackson stood together, being photographed and Jackson complained jokingly of the British weather. He began to walk into the cinema finally and sighed. Overall the evening was a success thus far. He took out his phone and looked at it, a few texts had come in, all of well wishes, but none from Danielle, which caused him to frown. She knew what time he was due to be in the cinema, she was usually one of the first to text, so it felt a slight bit disheartening. He looked at the celebrities that had come to the premiere also, the cameras flashing as they posed, he found himself hoping they enjoyed it. He also watched the others that had secured tickets, Emma said she was coming, so at least his little sister would be in the crowd, one of the first to give her opinion on it. He had not seen her enter, but the simple text 'we're here' had made its way to his phone, making him smile.

The movie was well edited, the CGI made all the imaginary running for his life look good, and from those who were present, it seemed to be well received, not Oscar-worthy, but good nonetheless. Again, he checked his phone a few times through the movie, but there was no word from Danielle. He was tempted to text, but as the first to clench his jaw when others did such things, he resisted, he would ring her when he was done. He watched as one woman rose from her seat in a manner that suggested she was trying to make as little of a nuisance of herself as possible and rushed up the aisle of the theatre. She was well dressed, her choice elegant, but Tom had to admit alluring also, he had not seen her outside posing for photos yet he felt as though he knew her, but he shook his head, she was of similar build to Danielle and he had not seen her face properly because she had not looked toward him in the darkened room.

There was a round of applause when the film ended and slowly the lights began to rise again. The room was a flurry of activity once more. Tom felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and when he saw Danielle's name, he grinned widely.

Danielle - I hope you had a great night and that the screening went well, I know it will do great with people. Why do I get the feeling you have made a new clatter of 'Hiddlestoners' with this one xx

Tom smiled as his brow furrowed, unsure what Danielle was referring to, but to see a text from her caused him to feel elated. With people congratulating him he shook hands and began to talk to people regarding the film.

The after-party was being held in a small club not far from the cinema, the list was shorter than the premiere one and in truth, as much as Tom enjoyed getting people's positive reactions, he wanted to go home.

He forced the smile onto his face as he stood with the same small flute of champagne in his hand after half an hour, counting down the minutes until he could leave.  "Well done." the first genuine smile came onto his face as he heard his sister's voice behind him. She embraced him tightly in a hug. "I actually really enjoyed that."

Tom chuckled, "you sound somewhat shocked by that statement."

"Well, remakes can go either way," Emma stated defensively.

"Where is Jack?" Tom looked around before looking to Emma again.

"At work, I told you this the other day."

"But you said 'we're here'."

"Yes," Emma grinned. "But I never mentioned Jack."

"Then…" Tom turned slightly and stared open-mouthed as he realised who was beside them. Feeling incredibly sheepish for noting the woman that had gone to the restroom during the movie was similar to his girlfriend, not realising it was actually her. Danielle's hair was tied back from her face, which had her make-up done to have a natural look and she donned a dress he knew for a fact she had not had in the closet before going to Ireland. "How…the house…?"

"Done and dusted yesterday, I flew home at lunchtime. Hello, by the way." Danielle smiled.

Tom immediately leant in and forced himself to only kiss her cheek. "Hello, I…I didn't think…"

"When Luke rang about that confirmation for the show, he asked if I planned on coming as a normal patron, I told him to see if I could keep a ticket aside, and when Bernadette all but snapped the bank draft from my hand, I knew I could make it."

"So it's done, you have the house?"

"I have half the house, but don't worry, I will get the other half soon." Danielle winked. She watched as Tom fought to prevent himself from declaring to the room about them, his eyes darting over her elegant dress which shaped her breasts perfectly. "Behave," she warned.

"This will be the longest two hours of my life." He groaned.

"What was it you called it before," Danielle teased as she leant in to whisper in Tom's ear so Emma would not hear. "Delayed Gratification." She grinned.

Danielle's dress

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXVI)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And then... There's this gap here...

(7x04/7x06/7x07/7x08/7x10)

Hello my dears! How are you? This is the second meta from season 7 from my Destiel Chronicles. And this is very critical one, to the gap I found after Castiel's death.

I want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta and discussed with me the episodes.

Well, I should stop the cháchara, and just do it.

Changing the focus

I noticed after Castiel's death, the focus of the show was all over the topic GUILT and LIES. Because why not? Let's confront Sam and Dean again so we can get a little of Wincest fuel.

So, Dean killed that Kitsune woman, Sammy's maybe first love and friend (a monster friend, as Dean will have on Benny in s8). But well... Dean is lying and he feels guilty about what he did. And Sam ignoring the whole situation... Okay... Cas is out. That story ended. Let's focus on Wincest and Pathologic Codependency between the brothers.

Episode 7x04 Defending your life, was about GUILT, and how it came to haunt you.

And because it was a very Wincest episode when we confronted Sam and Dean with VERITAS en Season 6, why not repeat the thing? Let's use another God... OSIRIS to confront them again. Like watching the same bad movie twice.

Ok, soy, Dean is drinking a lot of alcohol, because of Cas? Well of course, but the writers made it because of the guilt he feels for lying to his brother.

In the middle of this situation, he talks about this with a waitress, and Osiris captured him.

And because Sammy is so smart and believes in his brother, he is the lawyer, his defensor.

The whole episode is focused in old guilts and regrets of Dean. OSIRIS called Jo, and then Sam, because he felt responsible for them, for their safety, and about Jo, for her death.

Sam is the person that try to clean all those old ghosts from his brother. But he failed, because Dean has a big issue with the guilt.

Aaaand Codependency again...

This is what makes Wincest strong: Pathologic Codependency... And we will see a lot of it thanks to Sera Gamble...

Episode 7x06: Slash Fiction.

There's two Leviathans copying Cas and Dean and committing crimes in places where they were hunting years ago (firsts seasons, bc Sera missed Bro-only episodes so much... Awww 😒).

Okay, so they had to meet this guy Frank, a very odd man and very smart. And Dean had to abbandon Baby in that place...

So we had this comic dialogue...

SAM: It's temporary, Dean.

DEAN: Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

SAM: Y-you know that's a line from --

DEAN: Swayze movie. Swayze always gets a pass!

SAM: Right. Uh, well, you want some tunes or something? Here.

And then there was Air Supply singing I'm all out of love... And Dean was like...

Ok... If you weren't watching the episode, this could be a very Destiel song, BUT, this is Wincestland or Gamble-land, is the same, and the song is just for loosing Baby. Cas is erased here. No more Cas... And... Wasn't Sammy hallucinating with Lucifer? Oh, yeah, nevermind... If they don't want to write it... Okay, keep watching.

But the thing here... Was this scene...

LEVIATHAN!DEAN: I mean, honestly, I just... You know what? I can't stand the guy. Talk about a hero complex. And he doesn't have relationships. No, he has applications for sainthood. Oh, and he thinks he's funny. He thinks he's a damn comedian.

LEVIATHAN!SAM: Who has two thumbs and full-blown bats in the belfry?

LEVIATHAN!DEAN points at LEVIATHAN!SAM and LEVIATHAN!SAM points at himself with both thumbs.

LEVIATHAN!SAM: I'm serious. It's nothing but Satan-vision on the inside. I mean, how he's walking around in a jacket with detachable arms is beyond me. You know, I had a brother with this many issues once.

Okay, not this scene, but was funny, look how they talked about Hallucifer! Yay! They didn't forget! 😒

I wanted to show you this scene, when Dean and Sam got arrested by the police...

LEVIATHAN!DEAN: I just want to let you know how much I've really grown to hate you and your brother since we've been wearing you. I just don't get it. You could be anything. You're strong, you're uninhibited. 

Another confrontation, the Leviathan here is saying he doesn't understand Dean and Sam pathologic Codependency, this gives a Wincest tint to the scene, it was written with that intention, and that's how it feels.

Then, the Leviathan! Dean told the truth about Sammy's monster friend...

And I present here to all of you, the Wincest master topic, because Sam reacts exaggeratedly to this. It's a break up? It looks like. Oh yes, the kind of drama Gamble likes, the bro-only one...

Now... Let's jump to episode 7x07, Sam is mad at Dean, they broke up 😒 but they bumped into each other trying to solve a case.

The clues lead them to a Museum... And this dialogue is just... Okay. Nevermind... Just look at it...

MUSEUM GUIDE: Never ended well for the siblings.

DEAN: Why is that?

MUSEUM GUIDE: Mm, the strain of working together, or maybe just being around each other all their lives. Those two were the exception, actually – the Campbells. Got along famously. Of course, that was just a stage name

Ok.. all right... The Campbells?? Really? What was Mary Winchesters's last name??? Oh yes... Campbell! 😒 Ah, ok, they weren't actually brothers, they were lovers, nevermind... Nothing to see here... 🤦

Then.. we'll have more drama... And Dean will mention Cas trying to explain why he killed the Kitsune. Because CAS is compared here with a "monster friend" (??) And because his betrayal he doesn't trust anyone now (???!!) I know this could be written so differently... I know that.

Is an episode I want to forget. Thank you.

Okay, what I have to say of episode 7x08? Sam married with Becky (a Wincest shipper) and Dean being the third in discord. Love triangle my friends... Can I vomit now?

What a gap... And who was Castiel?? And... Wasn't Sam hallucinating with Lucifer?

I know we can find the plot and the storyline somewhere...

Nope.

Don't worry... Edlund will be back to the rescue in episode 9, in the next Chronicle.

Bobby

Okay, not all these episodes before Edlund were ugly, the one that wrote Gamble about Bobby is a cute one. I have to give her that, but kind of repetitive in some aspects... But, symbolically, it was a nice episode in which we could learn more about Bobby.

Episode 7x10 Death's door showed us how Bobby was the real good dad these boys had. We learn about his own childhood, with an abusive father, and how that past made him connect immediately with his sons, Dean and Sam.

One of the issues with Bobby was this quote...

"You break everything you touch." Is the phrase that kept dancing in Bobby's head thanks to his dad...

So we traveled all over Bobby's traumas, and how he was desperately trying to keep himself alive because he needed to deliver to his boys one last clue against the Leviathans, Bobby fighting till the end, my friends...

And this was my favorite part ...

That's why Bobby was the lovely and normal father for these boys, and is so touching. He tried to give them a normal life. And they are so grateful with him because of that.

And this too...

Bobby scolding John, trying to make him see what the kids needed from him. Trying to bring him back from that revenge path he was following.

Loable work.

So Bobby trapped his reaper, and delivered the boys those numbers, and then he died.

I can't forget Dean's words about trying to keep his faith... "

For him it was harder, because he is a chronic denying boy, and Sam was the one with his feet on Earth. And this dialogue broke my heart.

SAM: Dean, listen – we need to brace ourselves.

DEAN: Why?

SAM: Because it's real.

DEAN: What do you want to do? You want to hug and – and say we made it through it when Dad died? We've been through enough.

Gah, I wanted to hug them right there. 😟

Okay... Enough of sobbing...

To Conclude:

There was several episodes with big Wincest subtext content, and Cas and Hallucifer plot seemed to be erased... Also the storyline.

The episode about Bobby's death was a cute one, with touching scenes and flashes about Bobby's past, showing us his issues and what a good father he was with our boys.

I hope you had enjoyed this one's, it was kind of critical, but I promise Destiel in the next ones...

😘💕

Tagging @weirddorkylittlediana @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper @justmeand-myinsight

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to read the previous chronicle from s7 here is the link.

Buenos Aires August 28th 2019 6:56 PM

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Hounds of Justice--Ch. 70

Chapter 70

           Roman grinned as he poked his head into the door. “Hey, I’m going to grab something from catering. You want to come?”

           I smiled and pushed myself away from the table where I worked. It was very different from getting ready in the locker rooms for a match, but it was something I was slowly getting used to. Being back amongst the rest of the superstars was helping more than I thought it would.

           “Of course,” I said as I followed him. “I’m actually starving, but I’ve been so nervous about the last-minute changes to the match. With Sasha getting hurt this weekend, I had to re-block the match with Nikki and Alicia. And you know how they are.”

           Roman chuckled. “Well, that’s what you get when homegirl doesn’t have any concern for her safety. We been telling Sasha for years to stop with the suicide dives. But does she listen?”

           It felt so good to laugh with him again. His radiator warmth was still there, filling the air around us until I felt as if I’d been wrapped up in an electric blanket. I was suddenly thrown back to the first few nights of my time on the main Roster. Roman had accepted me into the fold, treated me just like a little sister, worrying about me, and letting me be part of the Hounds.

           The only sound was the rubber of my wheels against the polished concrete floors. It had become so familiar that it was almost like my heartbeat. However much I longed for the time before it had been part of my life, I knew that it wasn’t going to change.

           Roman stopped and slipped in front of me. He grinned at me, something mischievous in his black eyes. “Know what today is?”

           I watched the way joy lit up his features. “What did you do, Ro?”

           He laughed and started walking backward toward catering, beckoning me forward with a finger. “I can’t believe that you forgot your own birthday. Again.”

           I stopped, flipping through the calendar in my mind. I swore that I was going to be prepared this year—maybe do a little dinner with the Hounds, Becky, Renee. Yet I’d gotten so caught up in keeping the match together and everything that had been going on with my doctors that I’d totally forgotten about it.

           “In my own defense…” I started.

           He flipped his hand at me, a laughing smirk on his face. Before I could say anything else, Roman slipped around behind me and started pushing my chair toward catering. The noise level picked up as we got closer—more than the typical shouting and hustle going on in the place.

           Dean skidded around the corner, a wild smile on his face when he saw the two of us. “Dollface! Birthday girl!” From behind his back, he pulled out a stack of paper party hats complete with tinsel. “No admittance without the appropriate attire.”

           I couldn’t help but giggle as Dean carefully put the hat on me, taking care that he didn’t snap the elastic beneath my chin. He stuck one on himself and tossed the other at Roman before giving me a playful kiss on the cheek. “Gimme a lift?”

           Laughing, I patted my knees. “We’ll give it a go. No guarantees that the whole thing won’t fall apart.”

           “Better not risk it then,” Dean said with a smirk. He swept around behind me, shooing Roman away with a kick to the thigh. “Tell the rest of them the princess is on the way!”

           I rolled my eyes as Roman jogged off ahead. Dean fell into step beside me, letting me set the pace. His reckless energy reminded me of other times, the two of us in the ring at house shows, hamming it up and showing off. I missed those days more than I cared to admit.

           “Seth’s gonna shoot me,” he said softly, hands tucked in his pockets.

           “Why?”

           He reached out and tugged on the end of my ponytail. There was something both playful and apprehensive in his voice when he spoke. “Act surprised, okay? Later on. Not in front of everyone, he knows better than that. But… just act surprised.”

           I stopped, forced myself to think calmly. “Are you… Dean, you can’t be serious.”

           “As a heart attack, dollface,” he said solemnly.

           For a moment, everything went blurry. I couldn’t make sense of what was going on around me. The world shifted beneath my feet, turning me sideways. I thought I was going to be sick.

           And then I was hit with some delirious sort of joy. Like the first moment when I stepped into the ring… only a thousand times more powerful. Something sizzled in my veins, rushed along my skin. It turned my nerves into firecrackers that I swore I could feel in the soles of my feet. Blood pumped in my ears. I was nearly ready to cry with the overwhelming sensation of it all.

           “Even with all this?” I asked plaintively, gesturing to my chair. As often as he reassured me that he didn’t mind, I always feared somewhere in my mind that Seth would quickly get frustrated with the new no-sex aspect of our relationship. I couldn’t understand how what Dean insinuated could be real. “You’re fucking with me, Ambrose.”

           Dean swept in front of me, his hands braced on the armrests of my chair. He leaned over, eye to eye with me. “I might fuck around about a lot of things, Llane. But never something like this. Now practice your surprise face.”

~~~~~~~~~~

           There was so much cake. Too much cake for any one of these athletes to be eating before they went out to perform. Becky had three pieces all on her own, and she was part of a tag team match later that night. I could have sworn that Braun demolished half of the huge sheet cake by himself.

           “Happy birthday, Llane,” Seth said from beside me. He had one arm draped over the back of my chair, fingertips brushing slow circles on my shoulder blade.

           I grinned, even though I was slightly overwhelmed with the attention that swirled around catering with so many of the superstars and crew gathered together. Being there with him, with Roman and Dean, Becky and Braun and Finn, it felt like being home again. Those people��� they were more than my friends—they were my family.

           “Thanks for this,” I whispered, leaning my head against his shoulder.

           He smiled. “I know you don’t like a big hoopla… but we couldn’t let your birthday go by without something. We just want you to know how much we love you. How happy we are to have you here with us.”

           Melancholy leaked into his voice. My fingers found his free hand, brushed against his roughened palm. I let my thumb stroke against the inside of his wrist where the faded tattoo of Forever sat inside a burning page.

           “I’m so grateful for you,” I whispered. “All the parts of you—Seth, Tyler, Colby and everyone in between.”

           He swallowed, deep brown eyes shifting across the room. The others had started clearing out—to prepare for the show, to rest, to figure out how to put on a good show with 800 calories and a shit-ton of carbs running through their veins. After a while, it was just a few of us. Seth and I. Roman. Dean and Renee. Becky. Finn. Braun.

           Dean caught my eye, gave me a faint grin and a nod.

           This was it.

           “Llane…” Seth spoke distractedly, leaning back so that he could dig his fingers into the pocket of his jeans. “You know how much I love you, right?”

           Wordless, I nodded. Tears started welling in my eyes. Time compressed, stood still.

           “The good and the bad. That’s what I want with you,” he said, holding out something caught between his fingers. It was an oval cut white diamond that was surrounded by small black diamonds. The band was rose gold and carved with scrolling designs and inset with more of the black stones. It was petite. It was beautiful.

           It was perfect.

           “Yes.”

           He grinned. I grinned back. From across the room, Dean whooped his approval.

Llane’s Ring

Tag List

@bethany99stuff-blog @xbutterflius-effectusx @easyobsession @lakamaa12 @cburdine @sammyfireheartashryver @echrai @queenofthearchitect @0paint-the-stars0 @themumbler @bigdunneenergy @vebner37 @reigns-rollins-ambrose @mother-forker

[sxperflxity]

listen, i might add sons of anarchy muses, and if i do, please blame @fcundwings ^_^ :)

[dark-sky-seraphim]

Taking a Chance - Part 4

This is my first WWE fan fiction. First of all, I’m terrible at writing accents so I apologize for not doing so in this story. Second, I’m open to constructive criticism so don’t be afraid to message either this blog or my main blog with any comments, questions, or suggestions (main blog is fallen-angels-and-broken-hunters). You can also find this story on AO3.

Taking a Chance - Part 4

Synopsis: After helping Roman Reigns fend off Drew McIntyre in the ring, you receive a note from an anonymous admirer asking you to meet at the hotel bar after the show. When you arrive, you are met by the one person you never expected to meet.

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1,387

Warnings: Mostly fluff, mild language

You peek over Drew's shoulder and see Becky Lynch leaning against the wall with her arms crossed and a cheeky grin on her face. You tuck your head into Drew's chest as he peers over his shoulder. He bites his lower lip in an unamused manner.

“Don't mind me,” Becky chirps. “I'm just passing by to go get some ice.” She remains planted to the ground.

Drew turns back to face you, his cheeks bright red. “I'll text you later,” he mumbles into your ear. He gives you a little peck on the lips then quickly turns and heads to his room.

Your little smile immediately switches to pursed lips as you shoot a nasty look at Becky who is still grinning. You open your door. “In here. NOW!”

Becky pushes herself off the wall and saunters into your room. She clicks her tongue. “So...you and Drew, eh?”

“I thought you and Seth were arriving tomorrow,” you say in an attempt to divert the conversation.

“Change of plans. We got here about an hour ago.”

“You could've texted me.”

“Didn't think I had to,” Becky deadpans. “How did it happen?”

“A simple heads up is always nice.”

“When did it happen?”

“Come on, Becky -”

“How long's it been going on?”

“Enough with the questions!” you finally shout.

Becky sits on the end of the bed, shifts her eyes towards you, and smiles. “Talk to me. Please.” She gestures for you to sit next to her.

“First, you need to swear to me that you won't breathe a word of this to anyone. Even Seth. And especially Roman.”

“Y/N, you can trust me,” she reassures you. “It's not my place to say anything to anyone. You'll do it in your own time.”

Of course you can trust Becky. She's not a gossip like most of the women's roster. You tell her the events of the past week, from when you received the note to that very day. She squeals excitedly a few times as you tell your story.

“Wow,” Becky gasps. “You and Drew. I never saw that coming.”

“Yeah, you and me both,” you joke.

“So, how do you feel about him?”

You feel your cheeks burn hot. A small grin appears on your face. “I really like him.”

“Yeah?” Becky squeaks.

“I know he seems like a bad guy when he's in the ring but there's a lot about it that people don't know or understand. He's actually really sweet and funny and sexy and...” your voice trails off before you go on to say too much.

“Well, you two seem very cute together.”

You laugh softly. “Thanks.” There is a brief moment of silence.

“Okay, answer me one question – is he a good kisser?”

“And we're done here,” you panic. “See you tomorrow, Becks.”

“Oh come on,” Becky pleads. “Please tell me!”

“Not a chance.” You push her out the door. “Later.” The door slams shut. You immediately text Drew and apologize profusely for the unexpected interruption.

MONDAY NIGHT RAW – 1 MONTH LATER

Keeping the peace between Roman and Drew has been difficult. Drew is always easy to calm down and convince to back off. Roman, on the other hand, has been a lot of work. You've managed to keep him off Raw these past few weeks by telling him not to stoop to Drew's level or fall for his tricks (“Focus on Smackdown. Claim it as your yard.”).

Meanwhile, your relationship with Drew has been amazing. There has been something so exciting about sneaking hugs and little kisses backstage. Becky aways winks at you when she sees you together. Seth is convinced that there's something going on but no one will actually confirm it for him. You and Becky have found a new hobby in watching Seth as he deducts the clues and attempts to put the pieces together to prove, once and for all, that “they're in a secret relationship, damn it!”

You are feeling good on this particular Monday. You just finished a match against the always talented Naomi (it was a hard fought battle with you barely coming out on top for the win) and now you're waiting backstage for Stephanie McMahon to introduce you to your Mixed Match Tag Team partner. You and Drew have both agreed to do the tournament. While the chance of being a team was incredibly slim, you still had hope that Stephanie would see you as a good match.

“Y/N?” you hear from down the hall. Stephanie waltzes up to you. “I'm glad I found you. Ready to meet your tag team partner?”

“I was born ready, Steph,” you reply.

“Great. Right this way.” You follow her down the hall and around the corner where a few of the superstars are hanging out. She taps one of the guys on the shoulder.

“Oh, hey, Stephanie. Hey, Y/N. Good to see you,” the Miz chimes.

You smile half-heartedly. “Hi, Miz.”

Stephanie beams. “You two are going to be a team for the Mixed Match Challenge. I have high hopes for you. I think you're going to be the team to beat in this competition.”

“Ms. McMahon, Hunter needs a word with you as soon as possible,” a crew member informs her.

“Of course.” She turns to you and Miz. “I'll leave you two to get better acquainted.”

“Alright!,” Miz exclaims once Stephanie is out of earshot. “We're gonna be the best tag team ever!” He holds out his fist. You gently tap your knuckles against his. “Hey, you okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I'm good,” you reply unconvincingly.

“Are you mad that I'm your tag team partner?”

“No!” you quickly reassure him. “No, you're going to be a great partner. It's just...I was kind of hoping for a specific person, that's all.”

“Ah, I see. May I ask who you wanted?”

You wrinkle your nose. “I'd rather not say...sorry.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. I get it.”

“Thanks, Miz.”

“No problem.” He claps his hands together once. “So, we're gonna need a badass team name. How about we each do a little brainstorming between now and next week's show and we'll compile a list?”

“Sounds great. Although I should warn you that I'm not a terribly creative person.”

“Hello, you two!” a little Scottish voice chirps.

“Hi, Nikki,” you respond as she approaches you. “How's it going?”

“Great, actually. I just got assigned to my mixed tag team partner. I assume you two are a team?”

Miz throws an arm around your shoulders. “You bet your ass we are! Talk about one hell of a team, huh?”

“Yeah, you'll make a great team – just not as great as me and Drew.”

“Drew?” you gasp. “As in, Drew McIntyre?”

“Yep. Just think about it – Drew McIntyre and Nikki Cross: the Scottish dream-team!” She smiles proudly.

“Well, I'm not worried about you two,” Miz teases. “'Cause me and Y/N are going to be unstoppable!”

“We'll just see about that,” Drew purrs as he approaches behind Nikki. “Stephanie informed me that you two are our first competitors in a couple of weeks.”

You look Drew up and down; he's still in his wrestling gear. Damn those thighs of his. And those abs. And that handsome face. “Bring it on, big shot,” you taunt playfully.

“Ooh, Drew,” Nikki chimes. “Let's go start putting together a game plan!” She grabs him by his wrist and pulls him along eagerly. “Bye guys!” She waves to you and Miz as they go by. Drew gives you a little wink.

“I saw that,” Miz accuses.

“Saw what?”

“Oh, please, you were eyeing him up the way a kid looks at candy.”

You scoff. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Miz rolls his eyes. “Mmhmm. Sure you don't.” He nudges your shoulder. “So he's the one you wanted to team up with, I'm guessing?”

A sharp breath passes your lips. “Yeah.”

“Hmm, interesting.” He leans down to your level, his eyebrows raised.

“Okay...well, I've gotta get going. I'll be sure to make a list of team names this week.” You hold up your hand and he gives you a high-five. “See you then.”

“Later.” Miz smiles at you as you turn away and head for the locker room.

So, Drew and I are on separate teams...this could be kind of fun...

***

Part 3     Part 5

[sophygurl]

WisCon 43 panel Antisemitism at WisCon

   Over the course of its existence, there have been many examples of antisemitism at WisCon—a trend often echoed in other leftist spaces, where microaggressions to naked hostility to just plain erasure keep occurring. Let's talk about why this continues to happen, why it's so rarely talked about, and what we can do to prevent it.

Moderator: Becky Allen. Panelists: Gerri Balter, Paul Goodman, Jessica Plummer

Disclaimers: These are only the notes I was personally able to jot down on paper during the panel. I absolutely did not get everything, and may even have some things wrong. Corrections by panelists or other audience members always welcome. I name the mod and panelists because they are publicly listed, but will remove/change names if asked. I do not name audience members unless specifically asked by them to be named. If I mix up a pronoun or name spelling or anything else, please tell me and I’ll fix it!

[Quick Notes: 1) This panel was created in large part (though not exclusively) due to a panel that I also attended last year and wrote my notes up about - which can be found here for my tumblr post and here for my DW post - each having their own replies/comments for anyone who wants to see those. The panel last year, called The Desire for Killable Bodies, went sideways when one of the panelists started spouting nazi apologism and other awful things. There’s a context for all of this, which is why I’m linking to my panel write-ups as they served as a space for others to share what they heard and experienced so that you can understand this context and also understand that this wasn’t just a couple of people upset - there was a large audience for this panel and lots and lots of us were upset, and lots of us made reports to the concom, and there is a consensus about what happened. 2) I add all of this because the panel I’m about to write up also had a disturbance in regards to what happened last year and I want to make sure there is full context for what happened with That, as well. 3) Also of note: I had to edit out the tags “nazis” and “antisemitism” for my linked post to appear in my own tags on my own tumblr blog so fuck that noise. I’m getting angrier and angrier about tumblr’s tagging rules - we should be able to tag shit like that for content warnings for fuck’s sake. Anyway, on to the actual write-up. 4) Well, one last note - the panel is, obviously, talking about incidents of experienced antisemitism at both WisCon and in other leftist spaces and it was hard for me, who is not Jewish, to take that all in. So be prepared that this is a difficult, but very important, conversation about to be reported on.]

Notes:

Becky began the panel by saying she was both sad and glad to be doing this. Everyone on this panel is Jewish, and everyone on the panel has experienced antisemitic microaggressions here at WisCon at some point or another.

Jessica said the incident last year was the most extreme one, but certainly not the first.

Paul introduced himself as a lawyer for public policy at a non-profit and said that he has experienced antisemitism here and in every progressive space he’s ever been in.

Gerri introduced herself saying that she is 74 years old and that she has experienced antisemitism her whole life. Her parents escaped the Ukraine after WWI and she grew up hearing horror stories.

Becky gave some background on what happened at the Killable Bodies panel last year. She added that safety did a good job at handling things after it all happened. 

Jessica added that she proposed this panel due to what happened at that panel.

At this point, someone in the audience popped in, asking if we were going to talk about the specifics of that panel and arguing about what was really said. It was clear that this person was friends with the panelist who said the offending comments last year and he was defending her and arguing with the panelists about their own experiences at that panel. Both Jessica and Becky worked to shut him down, and I noticed several folks in the audience standing up and getting ready to escort this person out if necessary. Becky finally said that if he kept on, he would have to leave - or he could be quiet and remain and listen. He chose to remain quiet, and remained so for the duration (at least to my knowledge - he was seated a bit away from me, but I didn’t hear any more interruptions, at least). 

Jessica went back to explaining about how she proposed this panel. She was worried there might not be enough people to be on the panel - some of the people she approached had said maybe, to go ahead and suggest the panel and put them on as possibilities. 

[As a side note - there are a couple of ways of staffing a panel like this. One, which is what Jessica did, is to suggest some possible panelists and programming can see about adding them to the list but other people can still volunteer to be on the panel. The other is to hand-staff a panel, which means the person proposing the panel has already specified who should be on the panel and it is otherwise closed to other panelists. This is often done when a panel absolutely has to have a certain demographic - such as a panel like this which necessitates an all Jewish panel or a panel about trans issues where you want everyone on the panel to be trans, etc.]

So, Jessica had gone with that first way and suggested some possible panelists, but there was a mix-up with programming and all of the names of the suggested panelists were listed as panelists, the panel was closed to volunteers, and private communication that Jessica had submitted to programming was also added to the published panel information. 

This was problematic for a number of reasons. One reason is that the people Jessica has suggested were all people in her own friend group, which included mostly people similar to herself. This was keeping voices different from herself from being on the panel, including people marginalized for other reasons. 

Another problem was the listing of names of people who had not decided if they wanted to be on the panel or not. For obvious historical reasons (and the panel gets into this in more detail a little later), public lists of Jewish people causes a lot of anxiety for Jewish folks. 

At this point, Becky and Jessica acknowledged that most microaggressions are not intentional. They don’t think, for example, that programming did any of this on purpose. 

Gerri said that she wasn’t here last year, but that she’s been coming to WisCon for a long time. She said WisCon used to be mostly people talking about books they’ve read. She remembers many years ago when she’d read Wandering Stars: A Jewish Anthology of Fantasy and Science and Fiction by Jack Dann and she was excited to be reading stories about Jews in space. 

Gerri recommended the book to someone at WisCon and that person kind of took a step back and said “I didn’t know you were one of those.” Everyone else in the group walked away, leaving her to confront this on her own. He then asked her if her name was her real name. 

Gerri was raised by parents who were always telling her to get ready for when she was no longer welcomed. But even living in a world with a lot of overt antisemitism, she didn’t really believe them about that until the moment described above.

Paul talked about how 11-20% of Jews in the US are POC, that Jews are poor and middle class at the same rates as everyone else, and that these are things people don’t always understand. He also said they were not going to discuss Israel on this panel, adding there could be a whole entire con just about that, but that one thing that happens, especially in leftist spaces, is a conflation of Israel with Zionism and Zionism with Judaism and Judaism with every individual Jewish person. 

Jessica told about a panel a few years back about Agent Carter. The focus was on the lack of diversity, which was true. But season two heavily implied that Howard Stark came from a Jewish family who had changed their name. The moderator of that panel waved it away as not very important. Jessica, in the audience, had tweeted using the # for the panel about how significant that representation was to her. The mod saw the tweet during the panel and apologized. 

Jessica also said that friends of hers who were not here shared their own stories about incidents involving everything from off-color Anne Frank jokes to serious incidents that were brought to safety. 

Becky said that they all kept repeating that they know most of these things are not malicious, but she wants to acknowledge that they still hurt. She wants people to think harder about these things, but she’s not trying to call specific people out right now. 

Becky added that as a white Jewish person, she’s in a liminal space of privilege and oppression. She notes that leftists do these kinds of microaggressions a lot, but they’re the ones that should care about Not doing them.

Gerri talked about how fandom began with a lot of Jewish people. So when she got into it, she felt it would be safe. Many cons used to have spaces for services programmed in and one even had a Passover room with food they could eat during the holiday. She’s not sure how or when that went away, but she misses it. Some of it might be the lack of ability to accommodate all religions.

Gerri also talked about conversations that end up leading to “those Jews and their banks”. She objects, but has been told she doesn’t understand because she’s Jewish. “I understand I didn’t have toys as a child because we were too poor.” People try and take it back and it can be hard not to just say it’s okay. 

Jessica talked about more of these things people believe falsely about Jewish people. One is the “Christ killer” thing. In a poll she saw, 60% of Americans believe that Jews killed Jesus. Actually - it was the Romans.

Paul said intent in these things doesn’t always matter. For example, he was told Jews make the best lawyers - this is supposed to be a compliment, but it isn’t. 

Paul and Jessica talked about some of the antisemitic dog whistles that people use such as “globalist” and “lizard people” - it used to be “Hollywood.” 

Becky added that there are a lot of fannish memes that use the lizard people one - folks don’t get that it originates from antisemitism. (Example: “I, for one, support our new lizard overlords.”)

Becky also talked about growing up in a small town where hers was the only Jewish family. She was asked if she had horns, and was asked to come to church with friends so that she wouldn’t go to hell. 

Becky said that Jewish people are always in fear of when it might be time to pack up and leave. Trumpism is making that fear feel very real right now. The idea of knowing there are people in her neighborhood who want her dead is hard. But it’s also hard that with the people she organizes with politically - events are often held on Jewish holidays. “I can’t organize on Yom Kippur - I’m too hungry!” 

Jessica talked about a time she was in France and didn’t want to go with friends to the Jewish museum because she didn’t want to telegraph her Jewishness. She grew up in Brooklyn and believed when she was younger that all white people were Jewish. Then she moved to NJ and heard her first Jewish jokes, and learned about “looking Jewish.” 

Jessica told a story about a boy she and her friend both had a crush on. But then she heard this boy make a joke about someone who was Jewish, saying “oh he must be hiding in the oven.” Her friend said it was no big deal and that Jews should get over the holocaust. 

Jessica said that the holocaust was the largest manifestation of antisemitic genocide, but that is because technology allowed it to be. Jewish history is full of examples of genocide. The joke about Jewish holidays is “they tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat.”

Paul brought up the concept of generational trauma. Even if it hasn’t happened to you or in your lifetime, knowing your culture’s history and being told about it from your elders instills trauma all the same.

Becky posed the question to the panelists of how they would like to see WisCon and other spaces supporting Jewish people.

Paul talked about Jewish holidays not being recognized. Also - when antisemitic microaggressions happen - someone else needs to step in. It can’t only be Jewish people doing the work themselves.

Gerri said to simply think before speaking and if something comes out bad - apologize and mean it. Then work harder at it.

Jessica said she thought the idea of services was a good one. She added that she requested this panel be on a Sunday due to Shabbat.

Jessica would also like more recognition about the pluralism of Jewishness. And generally just more axis of diversity when it comes to all religions.She notes that even discussions of atheism tend to come through a Christian lens. 

Becky said that a lot of things that are considered to be secular or neutral are not. For example: Christmas.

Jessica added she’d like the removal of the phrase Judeo-Christian. It means nothing. If you mean Abrahamic religions, say that, and make sure you’re including Islam. 

Gerri advised asking questions so that you don’t unintentionally hurt people.

Becky talked about a panel this year about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and The Good Place. Someone had said that Judaism was not used in the main character on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Becky had raised her hand to say that no, her Judaism was important. The panelist apologized and admitted they were out of their lane. It was a good exchange. If something is said wrong in good faith - it’s not an issue for it to be brought up.

Jessica added that one of the core values of Judaism is asking questions. 

That said, Becky said it was time for audience questions but set some guidelines first. No talking about Israel, as that’s a derail. No oppression olympics. The panelists are allowed to stop or to just not answer if they wish. And there will be no denying any of the panelists experiences. 

The first audience question was about how to better understand Jewish experiences. 

Gerri didn’t have a specific rec because each book or perspective is just one out of many.

Jessica talked about the difficulty in rec-ing a list of Jewish authors without creating a Nazi hit list. But she added that a lot of our pop culture is Jewish - comic books, comedy, musical theater, etc. 

Gerri rec’d an old movie - Gentleman’s Agreement with Gregory Peck. 

Paul said that a useful exercise is when watching media and a Jewish character is on screen - how are we being treated? Often, it’s not good. 

An audience member rec’d the wikipedia article on antisemitism. 

Becky said - what if we stopped having space Jews who are greedy, such as the Ferengi. 

Jessica said the only good Jews in space is Mel Brook’s Jews in Space.

Someone in the audience discussed the conspiracy theories about cabals and Jewish people having secret privilege. This undercuts the actual oppression of Jewish people. Antisemitism is getting bolder again, so we have to be more loud about confronting it. There is a culture of assimilation due to the fear of “being on the list” and the trauma around that. The audience member acknowledged they were layering questions within questions, but Jessica said “no, this is very Jewish, keep going!” 

Gerri said that when she was growing up, Jews were loud. Her mom would tell her to be more quiet or they’ll think you’re Jewish. She was like, well I am Jewish! But there can be a real fear that being loud might cause you to die. 

Paul recommends punching Nazi’s every day. 

Jessica advised allies to ask how to best support. She gave the example of the triple parenthesis issue on twitter, which was something supremacists were using to designate people they thought were Jewish. Some people started using the triple parenthesis on purpose in protest, but this was very upsetting to a lot of Jewish people due, again, to the issue of the list, being publicly Jewish, the generational trauma there, etc. Jessica said to speak for Jewish people when necessary, but never over them.

Becky asked the panelists for last words or rec’s.

Gerri said Isaac Asimov

Paul said there are lots of resources at Jews for Racial and Economic Justice.

Becky said Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, also the author Katherine Locke - specifically The Girl with the Red Balloon, a time travel book with Jewish characters. 

Jessica said there are too few YA speculative fiction books with Jewish characters. She does recommend early comics by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, etc. Superman, Spider-Man, and others are all based on Jewish themes. She also recommended the first Independence Day movie and Rose Lerner’s romance novels. 

And that’s all I got! Also my last write-up for this year. The other panels I attended, I just didn’t get enough decent notes down to make a write-up worthwhile. Might make a round-up post and add some comments on the panels I was on, but not sure. 

[ghostsofmemories]

11/11

Basically, answer 11 questions by the person who tagged you (thanks @aly-writes-stuff), tag 11 people, and then add your own 11 questions for them to answer.

1. When did you start writing?

I've always written stuff, but I wrote by first 'novel' when I was thirteen in seventh grade. It's called Deadly, and it's *technically* published on Wattpad under an old profile, but the story is gone and I replaced it with a note explaining why I took it down.

2. Who is your favourite author/writer?

Okay, I absolutely love Becky Albertalli! Her works are a huge inspiration to me both in and out of writing!! But I also love Shaelin Bishop as a creator (nothing of hers is published yet, but her YouTube channel has always been a helpful source and incredible inspiration. Her Tumblr is @shaelinwrites)

3. What do you like most from writing?

Probably the ability to express myself and get all this junk out of my head without losing all of my sanity. Also characters. Frickin love those guys.

4. How do you come up with ideas to write?

Usually, an idea starts out as a concept. For Few and Far Between (formerly known as This Never Happened) I just wanted a story about two siblings who struggled with the fact that they were both gay. It branches off from the concept, usually.

5. What is the favourite place of your ocs?

Nora has this spot in the woods that she goes to when she wants to calm down. Carson doesn't really have a favorite place, he just likes being around people.

6. Which of your characters has the best memory?

Um, David? Neither of my OCs are great at remembering stuff.

7. And who is the most forgetful?

Carson. Thanks ADHD.

8. Favourite quote one of your characters has said

Oh, wow. Probably when Carson said (to David): "I want to be together because we care about each other, not because I make you feel like you have to be with me."

9. List your characters as furniture

Love this question. Carson - a counter.

Nora - a comfy chair

10. Do you listen to music while writing?

Sometimes, but other times it gets distracting because I want to sing along. Choir kid struggles.

11. Favourite book at the moment?

What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli.

My questions:

1. Who is your most interesting character?

2. Where do you like to write?

3. Have you ever written a short story? How many?

4. Who is your youngest MC? Oldest?

5. Which one of your OCs talks the loudest?

6. If you could take one book out of existence forever, what book would it be?

7. What are some of your favorite writing blogs?

8. How old were you when you decided you wanted to write a book?

9. Do you want to write for a living? If not, what would you do instead?

10. Have you ever done NaNoWriMo, or Camp NaNo?

11. When did you start communicating with the writing community?

Tags: @lottieisdefinitelynotwriting @artyprose @wordsnstuff @incandescent-creativity @coffeeandcalligraphy @quillwritten @embarrassingwriter @izzuniiwrites @writingburrito @narwhal-writings @sophialikestowrite

[peonierose]

thank you so much @karahalloway for thinking of me 😘 I loved to learn more about you 😍 I love questions (since I always have a million of em 😂🙈)

Nickname: Well my mum calls me Ida and my family (from my mums side) calls me Nani.

Zodiac sign: oh a very very proud Aries (fun fact Aries is associated with the fire sign a lot, but if I could have any powers, aside from teleporting, It’d probably be water related)

Height: 152 cm (or 5‘0 ft tall) yeah I know not very tall, I usually need help reaching things or I just grab a chair. I get very creative on how to reach things 😂🙈

Last movie I saw: oh man, it was Army of Thieves on Netflix it’s so good, highly recommend it. It’s with Matthias Schweighöfer he’s just so funny.

Last thing I googled: it was names for a flower shop (I was making a list for HC stuff for Luna, and needed a profession for her dad and ended up with florist, he owns a flower shop and I was looking for a nice name and just chose my own Lilac Dreams)

Favorite musician: that’s a tough one, it mostly depends what I’m in the mood for but it’s mostly Dua Lipa, Adele, Camila Cabello, Becky G, Sofia Reyes, there are so many….I could write pages and pages of artists that I like 😱🙈

Song stuck in my head: 🤣 it’s two that I listened to today and got stuck in my head it’s by Maddie & Tae - Woman you got & Madness

Blogs I follow: hmm. It’s usually choices related. Marvel. A LOT of SUPERNATURAL 😂 and basically anything that interests me. Like art and fashion and Cat Noir & Ladybug (and no cartoons aren’t just for kids)

Sleep patterns: I’m a night 🦉 so I usually go to bed at like 3 or 4 in the morning cause I can’t sleep 🤣😂

Dream Trip: wow, there are so many places I’d like to go: Canada, a tour of the US, Japan, China, HAWAII, Greece, Cape Town, Maldives… and so many more 😱🙈😂 I’d also like to go to Castle Neuschwanstein in Bavaria especially during Winter it’s magical, like out of a fairy tale

Favorite food: I’m very picky when it comes to food, and thankfully there are so many possibilities. I love pizza (especially thin crust or deep dish in Chicago - it’s amazing I loved it) Italian, Chinese, Bosnian cuisine. Since I have a major sweet tooth, I probably won’t turn down apple pie, always wanted to try sweet potato pie.

Instruments I play: I bought a guitar and she’s gathering dust, since I either haven’t found the time to practice or I just wanted to go to bed 😅

Languages I speak: I speak German, English, Spanish (though I haven’t spoken it in a long time), Bosnian, Croatian and Serbian.

I would love to learn how to speak Russian, Italian & Japanese.

Favorite song: Oh so many, here a few 🙈 since my music taste is very wide

Maddie & Tae: woman you got

Maddie & Tae: madness

Procol Harum: Whiter shade of pale

Led Zeppelin: Ramble on, whole lotta love, black dog, when the levee breaks

AC/DC: TNT, highway to hell, hells bells etc.

ABBA: all of them

Adele: Rumor has it, When we were young

BlackPink: all of them

Sofía Reyes and Pedro Capó: Casualidad

Kiss

Queen

The Pale white: glue, that dress etc.

Dino Merlin i Ivana Banfić: godina (means year/years)

Taylor Swift: almost all songs

Pablo Alborán: deshidratándome, vivir, no vaya a ser, las palmeras en la nieve

And so many more I couldn’t possibly list all of them 🙈😱😜

Anyway this was a little (maybe a bit long) tidbit I shared: I’m like Dean Winchester I love me some pie (preferably apple), I love reading (but only fiction, I don’t like books based on real events), I’m into art I’d love to take art classes, I’m usually a very shy person and it takes me time to open up. I also love fairy tales 😍 and Disney and so much more

I’m tagging some lovely people 😍

Have fun, reveal as much or as little as you feel comfortable with:

@secretaryunpaid

@the-mrsreigns

@eleanorbloom

@pixie88

@txemrn

@messrprongs

@burnsoslow

@kingliamsbitch

20 Questions

Thanks so much for the tag @bebepac! I love stuff like this!  🤩

Keep reading

[pcys-l]

💕

💕 - tumblr friends

I did the favourite bogs one and literally nearly all of them are good friends of mine so im going to mention just a couple who I talk to on like an EVERYDAY basis !! (but all my mutuals are my good friends so jot that down)

@hentaibbh I love miss Becky with ALL MY HEART,, we literally talk everyday and anytime i get a message notification from her i get so happy bc I love her so much dhbfs shes so funny and cute and i love how she tags me in pcy like 24/7 anyway I love her LOADS 

@suhosjaan Mrs Amber barely comes on this site anymore (can’t blame her)but I talk to her loads on KKT and shes another person,, who when i get a message from,, i go !!!!!!!!!!!!! I love messaging Amber shes literally so kind and sweet and we’re so similar (my pisces sister) shes so easy to talk to and god I LOVE HER

@chanyeolstattoos Miss Brit!!!!!! I!!! LOVE!! HER!!! the only other person i can bare to share pcy with kjnvjdf Shes literally so funny and sweet and I can talk to her about ANYTHING!!!!! Even tho we’re in diff time zones we talk so much whenever we can and talking to her puts me in a good mood I love her :((((

@sunshinebaekh PLEASE DOGA IS LITERALEE SO FUNNY Jhdsbh She always messages me with a random story or to share her thots and i literally DIE LAUGHING jdshash shes so funny and sweet even tho she hates me and wont tag me in pcy??? I lov her v much and she knows it ://

@suhosbulge Miss Maria ,,, literally doesnt know how much I love her bhjsdjjs shes so funny and kind and ?? miss video edior maria?? owns my heart. She’s a top quality person and shes one of the reasons im still on this hell site hdjudfh I love talking to her and shes the best ://

@p-c-y-l Miss Ira,, we dont talk everyday,, but thats my fault and she tells me to choke about it jdfbhasb anyway ira is literally so funny all the time even if she doesnt think so and hsdfjsdj she was one of my fav blogs and then we interacted and i was like !!!!!!!! i was right.. i love ira and i promise ill reply better djsbcs

@dokyungsu another person i don’t talk to everyday but THATS HER FAULT but anyway i love miss ren even tho she leaves me to choke so in return i love seeing her freak out and scream over the ksoo i tag her in kjdshs shes funny, has an amazing blog and i love her

Send me asks!

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 64

Chapter Summary - Tom and Danielle go to Luke's New Years party, and though there are very few paying too much attention to the pairing, those who are are less than pleasant.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

I own none of the photos used for this.

I am going on the law of averages here for Danielle, according to the averages, the most common Irish female is blue-eyed, brunette, 5 foot 5 inches (160cm), UK size 10 (US size 6) and a 36C bra, so off that, here you all go, this is a general idea of her appearance.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​ @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Luke had sent a town car to pick hem up, which in itself made Danielle groan, but Tom stated it was how Luke did things, as so many declare they were not drinking at events only to have to be forced to get a taxi home, or worse, take convincing to do so after first declaring they would drive.

“Besides, you always say you won’t drive my car.” “I could drive mine?”

“Elle, get in the car, it’s safer and you know it.” She finally conceded. The streets went by swiftly enough and Danielle was forced to admit after a time that it had its perks. Tom had her hand in his and was looking at her, smiling the whole time. “Darling, I know I have said it already, but you look ravishing.” He smiled.

Danielle rolled her eyes, “Yes, you have, in fact, I think that is the seventh time you’ve said it.” “Do you believe it yet?” “No.” “Then I will just have to continue saying it.” He leant over and kissed her, chastely at first before becoming slightly more amorous. “Tom!” she whispered looking towards the driver for a moment, “No.” “He is not paying any attention to us darling, besides, I can guarantee there has been far worse than some kissing and slight...petting in here before.” “Why, are you well acquainted with this particular vehicle?” She queried with a raised brow.

“If you keep giving me such glances, I may very much get acquainted with it,” Tom smirked. “But in all honesty, you look incredible.” “I feel like I am setting a standard here I cannot maintain.” Tom brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed it. “Elle, at home, I want you to be comfortable and yourself, and I know that means normal clothes and tying your hair back in a manner that I can only call organised chaos, but I would be lying if I did not admit that this is, without doubt, the most incredible sight I have ever seen.” He looked her up and down again.

“Will Luke approve?” Tom frowned. “Is that why you did this? So my publicist would be happy?”

“No,” Danielle played with her hands. “I don’t want to embarrass you.” Tom said nothing for a moment before taking off his seatbelt and leaning forward. “Could you pull in please?” he asked the driver, who immediately did as requested.

“Tom?” Danielle looked at him in worry. “Did I say something wrong?” Tom swallowed and a pained look came to his face, turning to face Danielle properly, he took her hands in his once more. “Elle, are you doing all of this, just for me? Are you making yourself unhappy for me?” “But I’m not unhappy?”

“Why did you want to come tonight?” “Because I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with you.” she answered as though it was obvious.

“Which would you have preferred, the party or at home?”

“Probably to stay at home,” She admitted, “But I want to do this.” He said nothing but looked at her sceptically. “Like when we had the dinner in the house, this is a controlled environment, there are far more people, and I am not stupid, I know I won’t gel with them all, but no cameras, no screaming fans, just an environment that Luke is controlling, and he will ensure it is safe, I trust that, so I want to get myself able for this, I want to be as good as I can at this, see how far I am actually comfortable with.” “And if this is as far as you can do; private events?” “Is that enough for you?” Danielle asked fearfully.

“Elle, if you said to me after this that this was too much, I would respect that, I know that you do not want to be in this world, and the fact you are working so hard to be alright with it and work on it is not lost on me,” He kissed her hand again. “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to change yourself for me.” “I had this dress for two years, it’s not like you bought it and expected me to wear it,” she pointed out.

“What made it appeal to you?” Tom asked curiously.

“It was really pretty, and on sale.”  Tom laughed. “Yeah, so I thought, maybe someday, I might find somewhere to wear it to.” “Like today?” “Yeah.” She smiled. “I know I don’t dress like this, I am not glamorous, but I am a normal person, I do want to look nice; I just don’t know how most of the time.” “Well Nacelle is going to help you, and if she does fashion like she does makeup, you will figure it out. She strikes me as one that would take into account individuality, she is very…” “Unique?” “No, that makes her sound odd, I was going to say true to herself, though her fiance…”

“Poor Becky had been in fancy clothes but changed when she got home to comfy, she is a solicitor so she probably felt slobbish in her trackies. That was my first time meeting her, she is not as eccentric as Nach, but she is really nice.” “I am so glad you have friends in London.” “I have Sophie and Emma too.” “Yes, I know, it’s great you have a few, but you need to have people you can get away from me with too, being in a situation where the only people you know are related to or know through me is not ideal.” Tom pointed out before his face turned somewhat upset. “Not that I am saying I do not wish for us to…” Danielle laughed, “I know what you mean, I need to have people that are my friends, that are mine and you are the interloper for a change.” “I am actually looking forward to having them for dinner.” “You just love meeting people, you’re like a Springer Spaniel or something.” Danielle laughed. “But yes, it will be fun introducing you to my friends and me having stories with them that you have to be filled on.” She smiled. “So, now that we are all up to speed on why we are doing this, can we head on now, I don’t want us to be late.”

“You will never embarrass me, Elle,” Tom stated factually. “Never.” “Intentionally.” Danielle pointed out. “I am human, I do fuck up.” “Everyone is human Elle, I am terrified of the day where people on the internet actually realise that I am too.” “I won’t have to fight off all the crazy fangirls and boys with sticks then.” Danielle’s tone was upbeat causing Tom to chuckle. “I’ll still be here, I already know you’re a flawed ass.” “I thought you liked my ass.” “Tom, I said you are a flawed ass, not that you have one, damn big difference there!” Danielle laughed. “Now tell the poor man to keep driving, he surely has something better to be doing than staring at the road ahead bored out of his tree.”

* Luke stared as they walked into the room, Tom immediately walked over and gave his friend/publicist a hug. “Well?” He grinned knowingly.

“I swear if you two go messing while you’re here,” Luke warned.

“I promise I will behave myself,” Tom swore. “I don’t believe you.” Luke scoffed before turning to Danielle, who could not hear what was being said and was looking at Luke anxiously. “That is what I was talking about, perfect.” He smiled before giving her a hug. Even he could sense the sheer relief that Danielle felt at his approval, her whole body slumping slightly as though a huge weight had been taking from her. “Elegant, just the right amount of sexy, who chose this?” “I did, I’ve had it awhile, or did Tom technically choose it, he asked me to wear it, but I had it all along.” Danielle smiled.

Luke looked at the clothes again. “You own this?” She nodded. “This is going to be far easier than I thought, you have very good taste.” Danielle smiled even more at that. “So, enjoy yourselves and no doubt we will be talking again through the evening.” With that, Tom placed his hand on Danielle’s back and edged her away as Luke dealt with more guests.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked curiously.

“Yes, I know you would never want me to look bad, but I just was so worried he’d get angry that I was too, I don’t know.”  

“Well, if you are comfortable, then let everyone else be damned, let’s go say hello to some people and get ourselves a drink.” Tom smiled as he guided her through the busy room to the bar, “What are you having?” “7-up.” Tom frowned, “I am not starting any alcohol this early and that looks like I am having a gin and tonic or a vodka and white.” She explained.

“That is a very smart idea.”  Tom commended, he ordered them both a drink and waited. When he turned again, he gave her her drink. “It’s a Sprite, they don’t have 7-up.” “This is supposed to be the fanciest place in these parts and no 7-up? Disgraceful.” Danielle took the drink, “Next thing, they have only got Pepsi!”

“You are a woman of fine tastes.” Tom jested, earning him a wink from his girlfriend before he turned and looked around. “Who’s here?” “You know these people better than I do.” Danielle laughed.

They spoke to a few people Tom knew through being clients of Luke’s, others were there as prospective clients Luke was trying to lure as well as those trying to convince him to be their publicist. Since starting Prosper PR and bringing Tom and Emma with him, Luke had become the most coveted publicist the East side of the Atlantic Ocean. Most people seemed utterly indifferent to Danielle while fawning over Tom, which she had expected, though the looks of disgust in some women’s eyes amused her slightly. While Tom was polite and looked at them while he spoke, his arm remained around Danielle, making sure she was by his side for the entirety of the evening, something he had promised her he would do.

After two hours and four soft drinks later, Danielle had to use the bathroom, as Tom spoke with some, had he said he was a model, she wasn’t sure, there had been so many faces, they had all merged into one, she simply pointed toward the restrooms before turning and leaving Tom to speak with him.

Assessing herself in the bathroom, Danielle could not control her smile, Nacelle and Becky had done a perfect job with only a vague description of her dress, which she found herself elated that Tom had chosen. While she was in the cubicle, she heard someone enter the bathroom, and heading to the next stall and soon after, another. Feeling self-conscious, she remained in her cubicle.

“Seriously, Tanya, he is perfect, exactly what I need, you can see why she used him for the PR, well spoken, charming, I mean, he has a receding hairline, but let’s face it, he’s pushing on.” The woman yabbered. “He’s wearing a tight fitting suit so you can see what she saw in him.” Danielle went from suspecting to knowing exactly who this woman was referencing and waited. “Yeah, I know, I sent Jenny over, she’s some set-hand, obviously just after his money or you know the deal, struggling actress trying to get her name out or his PR guy wants to make him look good.” the tone the girl used was ridiculous and dramatic before she laughed. “She is so ordinary, short, plain, could lose twenty pounds. I am going to go over and show him what he could have, seriously, she is so plain I bet she’s never even done anything as ‘wild’ as a blowjob. One of those ones, I bet his mother would adore her, so prissy. Okay, love you. No, I won’t have to tell you because I will make sure it is all over the tabloids tomorrow, bye.” She hung up the phone and Danielle waited, after a few seconds she found herself shaking her head as she heard the telltale signs of someone snorting something. She didn’t have to be a paramedic in a city to know that sound.

A moment later, Danielle came out of her cubicle and went to wash her hands. She shook her head before turning to check herself in the mirror again, she was shaking slightly but otherwise unfazed, it was then the other stall door opened.

“Are you not upset?” The other woman asked as she went to wash her hands. “Angry, sickened, enraged, pissed off, yes, those I am, but upset?” She shook her head. “No.”

“Her name is Annabelle Collins, she’s a model.” Emma Watson informed her. “A model of everything that is wrong with our gender I fear,” Danielle stated, checking her face again.

“Don’t let it get to you.” “I have no intentions.” Danielle scoffed. “How are you? Excited for the movie, I see it is getting great buzz already.”

“Good, I mean, it is weird, it is completely the same but totally different to the animated film.” “Hence the buzz, I can’t wait to see it, I am already planning to steal Tom’s niece so I have an excuse to see it a second time.” “Second Time?” “Well, once by myself, no one will notice me, more than once looks sort of weird.” Danielle joked for a moment before her face fell again.

Emma laughed before getting serious. “She’s just jealous you know, I heard her earlier, she thought she had a chance until he came in looking at only you, I never realised when we worked together you knew him, much less were dating him. By the way, where did you get that dress, I want it.” “I got it a few years ago, Tom pleaded with me to finally let it see the light of day.” Danielle smiled. “I wish I could pull off suits like you can, I always look frumpy.” “You are too hard on yourself, you could, of course, pull it off.” She dismissed as they walked to the door. As they walked back outside, Danielle’s gaze fell to Tom, who was still speaking with the man from earlier.

Danielle smiled, “Have you said hello to Tom yet tonight?”

“No, not yet.” “Care to join me?” Emma gave Danielle one small glance before nodding. “I might actually.” “Wonderful.” Danielle immediate began to head over to where her boyfriend was standing, the man walking away as they made their way over. “Hey.”

“I was beginning to think you’d abandoned me, Emma, how are you?” Tom moved forward and kissed Emma’s cheek before the pair launched into a discussion on their work, after a while, Emma said her farewells and Tom turned to Danielle. “I am not ignoring you, am I?” “No, you are including me, I just haven’t got much to add to these conversations.” She stated.

“Hey, are you alright?” Tom noticed something in her eyes.

“Yeah, fine. Do you want a drink?” She smiled.

Unsure if he should believe her or not, Tom decided he had to trust her to say if she was uncomfortable. “Yes, I may have a Jameson.” “Neat?” “With ice.” “Sure thing.”

“I will go to the bathroom, I will be back in two.” He kissed her temple before walking off.

Walking to the bar, Danielle looked around, wondering which bratty cow was the Annabelle that had been so horrible about her and Tom, no woman had introduced herself as such in the time that she and Tom had been talking. Sighing, she sat on a stool for a minute to alleviate her pained feet. “Can I ask you something?”Danielle looked to her side to see a man standing there, so nodded, tired from everything. “How did you do it?” “Do what?” “Convince Tom Hiddleston to bring you, I mean, I knew he was not as innocent as he acts, but this is ballsie.” “I don’t think I get your meaning.” “Well, bringing an escort…” Danielle’s nostrils flared as she raised her hand. “I will take the fact I apparently look good enough to be able to sell my company as arm candy for events as a compliment, but I am not an escort.” She stated.

“You’re not?” The man seemed somewhat surprised. “No, I’m not.”

“Then why are you here?” “Solely to baffle you.” She smiled before looking to the barman. “Jameson with ice and a malibu with orange; no ice, please.” She asked politely. Sensing her urgency, the bartender got her drinks and she made to leave.

“So you were not paid to come here tonight?” Danielle inhaled deeply and turned to look at the man. “No, I was not, but the more I talk to you, the more I wish I was because dealing with you for free is highly taxing,” She stated before turning to leave. “Luke.” She smiled seeing the publicist behind her.

“You may actually survive this.” “What?” “Turning up looking like you could actually go in public in your clothes as opposed to so many here who probably wear more in the shower, not drinking excessively and dealing with people being viciously cruel with poise and elegance, you are actually everything I said you were, ideal.” “I don’t…” “Emma told me about Annabelle Collins.” “Oh.”

“How much did you want to confront her?” “More than I want to be out of these shoes.”

Luke looked down and her clearly sore feet. “But you held it in, and that man, you remained composed, even if you did get some bit cheeky, it was not inappropriate.” “Some of your clients leave a lot to be desired.” “Annabelle is not my client, yet.” Luke pointed out. “And now, I doubt she will be if she is willing to risk another one of my clients. How are you doing?” “I rather not be around egotistical asses, but if that was the case, I wouldn’t have a job.” She smiled as she joked.

“I know that feeling.” Luke chuckled. “Are you settling in at Tom’s?” “Yes, I am somehow getting busier in my time off than I was working.” “Just make sure Tom looks after himself, he can get neglectful.” “I had noticed.” She nodded.

“Good,” Luke smiled. “That you noticed, not that he is neglecting himself.” “I gathered.” She winked as Tom came back over and took his drink.

“Is everything alright?” Tom asked as he looked between the pair.

“Yes, you?” He nodded but did not answer, telling her that no, he was not.

“Tom?” Luke asked his friend in concern, Tom had already taken the whiskey from Danielle and downed the amber coloured liqueur in one go. “What is going on?”

“Nothing, why?” Tom looked at Luke, his eyes darting side to side.

“There appears to be lipstick on your ear.” Danielle pointed out. Immediately, Tom’s hand made its way to his ear, rubbing it before seeing that a red stain was on his fingers. “Tom?” “Elle, she…” “Who?” Danielle had an inkling.

“I have no idea what her name was, she just came up, shook my hand, said she liked my work and leant in and did it, I pulled back immediately and walked away, I was going to tell you when you got away from the bar, I swear.”

Danielle said and did nothing for a few moments, processing what Tom said before inhaling deeply and nodded. “Alright.” Luke and Tom both looked at her in disbelief. “Wait, that’s it? Another woman supposedly gets lipstick on your boyfriend’s ear and you are saying nothing?” “No, I trust him,” Danielle stated, looking at Tom, who seemed shocked she had seen his honesty. “Is she still here?” Tom looked around for a moment before finding his assailant. “The blonde over there.” Luke and Danielle looked over. “Annabelle Collins,” Luke stated. “Just as Emma said.” Tom looked at his friend. “Emma?” Luke between the couple, silently questioning Danielle as to why she had not told Tom about her eavesdropping in the bathroom. “I’ll explain in a moment,” Danielle stated. “Your new friend is on her way over.”

Tom realised that indeed, Annabelle was on her way to them, smiling excitedly as she did so, so he stood with his arm around Danielle and kissed her temple again. “I am so sorry.” “Don’t, we’ll talk in a minute.” She whispered for a moment. “Luke, I’m not going to lie, I cannot promise to be nice.”

“I know.” Luke sighed, not knowing what she was going to come out with. “Try to keep it in line.” “No promises.”

The blonde’s smile remained as she came to Luke and her arms extended, “Lukie.” Smiling politely, Luke put out his own arms, not to embrace her, but because she was at risk of falling over. “I have not heard back from you yet, don’t you want me?” It took everything in Danielle for her to not say something regarding how she would wager most everyone would not want the other woman but kept herself reined in. She watched as the drunk girl’s focus fell on Tom. “Ooh, Mr Hiddleston, we meet again.” She half sang, a sly look on her face, before making her way over to Tom to embrace him, who remained next to Danielle, his discomfort obvious in his stance. “Ms Collins.” he nodded curtly, extending his hand to ensure she could only go for a handshake.

“There is no need for such formalities between us Tom.” She swatted him playfully on the arm with her hand, “I hope for us we get to spend a lot of time together in the future.”

“This is Danielle, Danielle, Ms Collins is a...I apologise, what was it again?” Though there was irritation in her eyes, Annabelle gave a shrill laugh, “Oh you joker,” she stated, swatting his arm again. “You heard me well enough before, I am a model,” she looked Danielle up and down, “You’re the set-monkey, right?” “Danielle is a Safety Officer, she is in charge of giving sets the okay to be worked on, she is an integral part of the crew,” Tom stated, his tone one of annoyance. “If she says no, no shoot.”

Annabelle’s eyes glanced over Danielle again. “Charming.” “Indeed.” Danielle retorted, her own tone matching Annabelle’s.

“I would have thought after ‘The’ Taylor Swift, you would continue going for more famous women,” Annabelle commented before laughing. “Sorry, I apologise, I may have drunk too much.”

“Out of curiosity Ms Collins, may I ask you something?” Annabelle stared at Danielle, who took her silence as a means to continue. “Why are you acting drunk when your actions are clearly, and may I add, poorly, put on. Your speech is not slurred, you walked over here with any form of issue, you’re exaggerating your movements, all signs you have not actually drank much, which makes little sense really. Also if you are trying to convince Luke to take you as a client, you should probably not have snorted any more than whatever it was you did not earlier in the bathrooms while bitching myself and ridiculing Tom on the phone.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The other woman shrieked as she feigned shock. “I’m sure you don’t,” Danielle stated in a deadpan tone, “but I feel I should tell you, my not being as tall as you means I can see what other’s can’t see and because you are taller, I can tell you that you’ve left powder on your nostril.” she gave a little indication to Annabelle’s nose. “It sort of gives the game away.” Holding her nose, Annabelle stared at Luke, whose face was one of disgust, then to Tom whose own mirrored his publicists and then fled the trio. “How did you…?” Tom asked curiously. “Emma Watson and I heard her in the bathrooms earlier. She was planning on dining off your name, but I also heard her snort something, and her eyes are all bloodshot and her hands are shaking slightly, indicating cocaine use, yet as I said, no indicators of alcohol consumption, probably afraid to blow her buzz. It’s scary, she weighs about the same as my lower body and her pulse rate on her neck suggests her heart rate is incredibly high, she’s at risk of cardiac issues in the next hour, much less getting to the faithful tragic twenty-seven.” She explained. “Is a lot of this world like this?” “Sadly.” Tom nodded.

“You’ve never…” Tom’s eyes widened. “Fuck no, I mean, in college every messes around with different things, but hard drugs, definitely not, no.” Danielle looked to Luke, “I did my best.” She shrugged.

“Better than I was expecting.” He admitted in return. “Yeah, well.” Danielle downed her drink, before turning to Tom. “More?” Tom nodded, “Definitely.”

The ten-second clock began not long after, Tom immediately putting his arm around Danielle. “I know it’s cheesy and cliche, but they say what you do at midnight is how you start your year.”

“EIGHT, SEVEN.”

“It is what they say.” Danielle smiled.

“FIVE, FOUR.”

Then, Ms Hughes, may I kiss you?”

“TWO.”

“Yes,” she leant up towards him.

“ONE.”

As the cheers erupted and Auld Lang Syne began to play, Tom kissed her. “I love you, Elle.”

“And I love you, Tom,” She giggled as she leant up and kissed him again.

“So what now?” “I want to dance.” Tom raised a brow. “With you.” “Elle, I…” “Dance like an idiot, I know, I’ve seen and I love.” She laughed. “Let’s go.”

Chuckling as the dance music came back on and Tom took her hand and brought her onto the dance floor, where others in different states of drunkenness were already dancing. “Are you sure?” “Frightened you can’t handle me Hiddles?”

“Oh, now that is fighting talk.” Tom chuckled, taking her hand and allowing himself to enjoy the music.