#/ but kaede angry ranting about a girl he cares about--

[astarab1aze]

Truth Serum + How do you really feel about Jezebel? [ Kaede ]

truth serum!

Annoyance struck him on a dime, speech compelled by - something, something he couldn't fight.

"I-- Think she's fucking irritating. I don't know what her problem is, and I never know what she's thinking until she's throwing herself into the middle of a fight or telling me in so many words she thinks I'm a git. It's frustrating to never be able to have a solid conversation; She always rebuffs, attacks me, or incidentally drags me into a fight when all I'm trying to do is make sure she stays alive. She thinks she knows what type of person I am, or doesn't care, and reads my efforts as a personal affront-- But that's the furthest thing from the truth. She'd know that if she stopped for a minute and talked to me. Maybe she knows and just doesn't care, that seems more likely. Obnoxious, annoying- It makes me want to throttle her, cut her down where she stands, and I hate that because I don't fully understand why I feel so fucking strongly about it. She doesn't care about me, but I care about her in a way I can't make sense of, no matter how tempting the idea of murder can be.

"And I hate, even more, that I can't help but draw similarities between us. That I feel some flavor of kinship for her. That I'd like, maybe one day, to see her be less like me, less like whoever made her into the violent asshole she is now. I mean, it's like looking into a... broken mirror at times. I just can't stand it. I want her to be quiet and listen to me. I want her to settle down and stop thrashing. I want her to let me help her. But fuck, if I can't do it myself, I guess I'll never get her to do the same. Too volatile, both of us, and I'm not sure if that's a trait unique to us or if it's just part of what it means to be fucked up, or human. In either case, I think of her as an asshole. An obnoxious little shit, like she thinks of me, but maybe I care just a little more. I don't want her to die. I'd be even more pissed off at her if she kicked the bucket and I wasn't there to do anything about it - I'd also be royally pissed at myself, but that doesn't matter. And maybe she doesn't need saving, but fuck her. I don't care how good she is in a fight; I don't and won't ever allow the people I'm allied with to die or suffer injuries if I can help it. I don't expect her to do the same for me, but the least she could do is let someone who maybe, sorta, kinda at least cares about her safety and wellbeing even a little to help her out.

"As I'm sure you've gathered, she makes me fucking mad. Now why, really, do you think that is, huh? Because in my heart of hearts, I want to be close to her and I fucking hate it. She'll never want to be close to me, so it's a wash. It literally doesn't matter what I say or do. I will always just be an idiotic potential threat to her, an enemy she just happens to be forced into an allyship with because I won't just leave her be. Do you know how embarrassing this is? How utterly moot a point. It would be easier if I didn't have to deal with this anymore, but I'd still fucking - worry, about her like it matters. This is why I still drink whisky. I hate this. I hate thinking and feeling shit for people who don't give a rat's ass about me, yet here I am... Here I am. Like the trained dog my clan turned me into. And she wonders why I'm so dogged."

[natsumiheart]

I just wanna say how tired I am with some oumota shippers and their argument that oumasai is a bad ship cause apparently Shuichi never cared about kokichi and is annoyed with him and that oumota is better cause kokichi "opened up" to kaito like what they both were dying and kokichi had to convince kaito to work with him so he had to tell the truth that he wasn't the mastermind or else they'll die a meaningless death.I just really wanted to say this cause its driving me insane

Anonymous said:

Btw i was the anon that sent that ask ranting about oumota shippers saying oumota is better than oumasai and I just wanna clarify that I don't hate oumota shippers cause I know its their opinion and everyone can ship what they want but i feel like I really needed to tell someone about it cause it has been messing with my head and I don't have any irl friends that like DR and this blog felt the safest to vent to

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry you’re dealing with those people! I have a friend who is actually suffering from the same exact thing. Constant harassment from Ou**ta shippers saying Oumasai is toxic. I’m happy you feel like this is the safest blog to vent to ;; And just to make you feel better, here are a bunch of reasons why YOU’RE 100% RIGHT! and you shouldn’t be attacked or ashamed of how you feel towards that ship and all that hate towards yours. If anyone says Shuichi hated Kokichi and never cared for him just read this post! https://natsumiheart.tumblr.com/post/177427505177/hewwo-what-are-your-opinions-on-the-people-who

Warning: If you like Kaito x Kokichi I recommend you don’t read what’s under the cut, I don’t want to diss anyone’s ship in front of their face. That’s just insensitive, and the last thing I want is to ruin someone’s day. Unless you really want to know why others don’t feel the same as you, then don’t check out this post. Thank you!

Note that while I mention the bunch of reasons why this ship just straight up wouldn’t work out, I’m going to ignore the fact that Kaito acts very homophobic and transphobic in the japanese version of the game. I’ve mentioned it in this blog a bunch of times before, and it’s pretty obvious that everyone ignores his Homophobia so I’m just going to pretend as if he’s not homophobic and break down why exactly this ship wouldn’t work out even without him being homophobic in the first place. But I’m definitely not going to exclude how he acts towards guys in general.

> Kaito treats most guys he meets like trash, unless he respects them. Whenever Kaito finds a guy acting “Weak” he literally looks down on them, even gets frustrated with them. Huge proof is how he treated Shuichi for crying over Kaede, and then later punching Kokichi because he was acting “Weird”. Kaito was a huge fan of Ryoma, but when he saw what he has become, someone who has given up on his future, he started treating him badly, and after Ryoma was dead he even talked badly on him calling him “Weak.” and a “Sissy.” Not being able to understand the pain Ryoma was going through or how things were for him. He also got creeped out by Korekiyo for acting like a girl before he even revealed that he was “posessed” by his sister. Aren’t all those moments in the game enough proof that Kaito just straight up doesn’t like guys at all in that way? Then how could he *love* a guy, and Kokichi of all people. Heck, Gonta x Kaito make more sense than Kaito x Kokichi, even though he yelled at Gonta once for crying and being too weak for a man.

It’s shown multiple times in the game that Kaito treats guys like trash, and he treats Kokichi the worst of all.

Note: I do think Kaito can change the way he acts towards guys, but I don’t he will ever love one romantically.

> I think we can all agree that Kokichi is really hard to deal with sometimes. He distances himself so much from everyone as much as he could, and he won’t back down that easily even if it meant hurting others’ feelings. He keeps lying constantly so no one can figure him out or get close to him. We don’t exactly know the reason why, but he has major trust issues and it shows.That is the reason why for us, seeing Shuichi listed under “Trustworthy” was a big deal. (But I’m not going to dive deep into that since I already did multiple times in this blog.) My point here is that Kokichi needs someone with patience, someone who could understand him a bit and why he does what he does. Someone to decipher his actions and break down his walls, but isn’t afraid to sometimes step his foot down and tell him that his actions are wrong and he’s harming others as well as himself. Kaito on the other hand grows frustrated with guys so quickly, he doesn’t listen to their reasoning before heading in for physical violence. THAT is exactly the opposite of what Kokichi needs! And I still don’t understand how others can’t see it! When Kaito punched Kokichi in chapter 4, he was already in so much despair over seeing the secret of the outside world and that punch made it worse. To the point he stayed silent then locked himself in his room. How in the world do people actually see this ship as better than oumasai? I don’t get it.

Kokichi shouldn’t be with someone that will treat him like trash, and physically (if not also emotionally) harm him for how he’s acting.

> Opposites sometimes attract, but POLAR opposites do not. and I’m talking from personal experience here, two people who are different in so many ways (ESPECIALLY THEIR WAY OF THINKING) will end up fighting 24/7. It was shown again and again in the game that Kokichi and Kaito do not get along thanks to how different their approach is to things and their seemingly different upbringings. Ships between two characters who fight a lot just make me so uncomfortable and disturbed, because I know how these relationships actually end up in real life. Fights do happen in relationships sometimes, it’s even needed to strengthen the relationship, to realise that no matter what happens you STILL love your partner, but when you fight every single time you talk? That’s a bad sign! 

Fighting is NOT romantic and it never will be! And when it has physical violence mixed in? My god. Please do yourself a favor and break up with your partner if they keep hitting you.

> Kaito doesn’t ever side with Kokichi:

He literally said in chapter 4 “I don’t wanna survive it means I have to stoop to your level!” and Kokichi said “Then die in a hole for all I care! WE wanna LIVE, so stop getting in our way!”. Kaito will never be on Kokichi’s side, Even if it meant his death and the deaths of all his friends.

When Kaito realised that maybe watching all the motive videos together would’ve prevented a murder from happening Shuichi is the one that points out that it was what Kokichi was trying to do. But then Kaito is like “Huh, really?” Then brushes it off. Because of course, of course Kokichi wants murders to continue. Right?

Even after Kokichi spilled everything to him because he was literally about to die and really wanted Kaito to go along with his plan and believe him. Kaito still stated that he still thought he only thought of himself. Even after Kokichi sacrificed himself to save HIM from the poison and MAKI from being his murderer. He still hated him and didn’t believe him. The only reason Kaito went along with his plan was because he was about to die anyway, he was running out of time and he needed to get out even if it meant following Kokichi’s plan and killing him in the process.

When two people actually love each other they have each others backs. But with these two, they never will.

> I don’t believe Kokichi hated Kaito. But he literally thinks he is stupid and is a bad influence on everyone. These two have a relationship of two siblings that can’t stand each other. I always see myself and my brother in them, which is another reason why their ship makes me beyond uncomfortable. My brother puts his trust in people way too easily, and believes whatever tf his brain comes up with because y’know it’s him and “he’s always right”. He would never take a second to think that maybe he’s wrong, just like Kaito and his hunch. I on the other hand find him incredibly stupid, we argue a lot because our way of thinking and our beliefs are very different, we even used to hit each other a lot. We never really got along. And the way Kokichi and Kaito act around each other really reminded me of it, but you don’t know me and you don’t know my brother so why should you take my word for it? An example I like to use when trying to explain this point to others is the relationship between Stanley and Stanford in Gravity Falls, those two fought a lot in the show but in the last episode they had to work together on a plan despite their differences. Doesn’t it remind you of a certain story that happened in the game? Kokichi and Kaito’s relationship resembles theirs so much it’s insane. 

I feel like the game tried to show us how these two are more like siblings but on bad terms, even giving them similar hair and eye colors. But that flew straight over every rivalry shipper’s head.

These are some of the reasons why Ou**ta wouldn’t work out and can’t even be a thing in the first place, I said it before and I’ll say it again: I could write a book about this topic. But I’m kinda busy today and I have to leave the house soon- I hope you’re convinced that you are actually right. (I’ve been told countless times that I’m wrong leading me to question myself, so I wanted to help out by reassuring you that your feelings are valid and you’re not wrong in this situation at all) Saying Oumasai is toxic for one line Shuichi said while he was angry and defending his friend, while shipping Ou**ta and ignoring all this stuff is like the most hypocritical thing anyone can say. 

And yeah, people should ship whatever they want. Lots of people ignore characters’ feelings and ship the crackiest of ships, making very OOC art and fanfiction. And they can do that! But they can’t go around dissing people for their ship while supporting an obviously flawed one. Honestly you shouldn’t attack people for their ships in the first place, no matter what YOU ship. Just stay in your own bubble and stay away from the ships you dislike. It’s not that hard!

If you’re an Ou**ta fan reading this, I just want to say thank you for reading this far, and I’m really not saying you should stop supporting your ship. I’m just explaining why we feel this way towards it and the evidence we have behind it. If you’re one of the people who go around attacking shippers while boasting your ship. Please stop? Seriously, stop giving a shit about other people’s opinions and life will suddenly become much easier.

I’d like to clarify: If anyone responds to this post telling me I’m wrong, I’m not responding. My blog is for me to post art, sometimes funny stuff to make people’s days, interact with my followers and draw their requests, or ranting about topics I’m passionate about (Mostly DR). I do not want it to be a place for ship discourse, so if I get disagreeing replies or asks I’m going to ignore them like I always do whenever I post these rant type blogs. I hope you understand.

[itsa-lie]

The “Death” Of A Liar [Epilogue of Birth Of A Liar] 

A epilogue of that headcanon I wrote for Kokichi. You can read all five parts here. Will contain spoilers so read at your own risk!  Trigger Warning: death, poisoning, needles, and a mention of a certain death in game.

There it was...

The  Hydraulic crusher comes closer to his face. It was slow, painfully so. The pain in his body was unbearable. The poison was going through his body at an accelerating rate. Kokichi slowly turn his head to the side to see Kaito. His face was a literal mess. His face was full of tears, red and puffy, nose running like a faucet of snot. Oh jeez...if he wasn’t so in pain he’d make fun of this big hero guy bawling like a baby. Though he could only give a smile to him. And a small pained chuckle.

“C-C’mon Kaito, you’re the hero guy, right? You’re about to defeat the baddest villain ever. You shouldn’t be crying. Ya...ya..big baby...”

Kaito glares back to the boy laying shirtless on his back on the press, the tears still not stopping. “You idiot! Biggest bad villain?! J-Jeez! You’re doing this to stop the Mastermind! This was all your plan! Don’t...don’t say you’re a villian, alright? You’ve done some stupid things but...”

Kokichi cut the purple haired teen off with a weak “nee-hee-hee” as he turns his head back to the slowly descending iron. “You always were an idiot...” Kaito slams his fist on the control panel angrily, still filled with sorrow. “I am NOT an idiot!” Kokichi laughs again, the press only a few feet from his face. “You’re too trusting...I mean...you’re trusting me right? ....thank you for that...even if it is an idiotic decision...but hey....maybe I’m an idiot too right? I am trying to stop this horrible game.” Kokichi’s breathing gets shallow, each breath was an exhausting experience now. Even if it hurt horribly, Kokichi smiles.

“It’s like those movies, yeah? A hero and their side-kick try to beat the super villain, the villain causes so much trouble for a few more movies, then finally after a big climatic battle the hero finally defeats the villain.” The press was only a few inches from his face now, he couldn’t turn back to see Kaito without being even more in pain than he already was. Not to mention his constant wheezing from Maki’s poison made it hard for him to even talk. He had to hurry this up.

“I’m...not the final villain, you hero guys still gotta...find them but...but at least...I wasn’t boring...right?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“SIMULATION TERMINATED. EJECTING...EJECTING...”

The horrible pain of getting every sort of bone crushed in your body suddenly halted as a robotic voice echoed in the air. There were sounds of machinery opening and whirling, yet everything was still so dark, so odd...

What felt like a cool breeze hit Kokichi’s face as he could feel some sort of apparatuses snap off or out of his body. And then he fell face first into a tiled floor. A cold, unforgiving, tiled floor. Grunting, Kokichi sits up and rubs his nose from the fall. ...wait...everything didn’t feel like a pancake...was he...alive? Should he dare open his eyes? Okay...on the count of three...one....two...three! His eyes wandered to his hands, both looking normal, except he was in some sort of different clothes. They looked familiar, but kinda boring. Oh God this was hell wasn’t it? Only the Devil himself would have everyone in such boring school uniforms. Kokichi missed his DICE outfit but hey, no one cared about him anyway so maybe hell was where he deserved to be. He wasn’t complaining. But if it was hell, where was the fire? Or the demons? Or the Devil and his pitchfork?

But the only place he saw was a white room. A white room full off odd sci-fy like pods. Some pods were empty, but others did have people inside them. They happened to look a lot like the surviving classmates, one of which seemed to be tossing and turning wildly. 

“Kaito?”

That was Kaito alright...only he wasn’t wearing his usual jacket and tee shirt, he seemed to be wearing a drab school outfit as well. Wait...how did he get to hell? This guy was Mister Perfect! Why would he end up in a place that bad guys go to if he’s the hero? Maybe he should have a talk with God and get Him to reconsider. That was...if he could get out of this room! But what was this weird pod everyone was in? Was he in one as well? Upon turning around there was indeed a pod just like everyone else had. The inside had a soft plush interior as well as a weird white halo-like contraption at the front. There also seemed to be tubes and needles that were on the side. Wait...what did the tube go to-never mind, he looked in and regretted it. It was apparently attached to a catheter bag...okay new idea, no more trying to explore weird tubes and stuff. 

However a noise coming from the other side of the room caught his attention. A girl had come in. She looks exhausted, her breathing fast and rapid, her face as red as an apple from exertion. Short brown hair framed her face and she wore a very fancy middle school uniform. Honestly she looked familiar but for some reason Kokichi couldn’t figure out who she was. “Kokichi! I ran here as soon as I saw and-”

“Finally! Satan! I’ve been waiting for you. Ya know, I really wasn’t expecting you to be a little girl, I thought you’d be a bit intimidating or somethi-”

Before he could finish that statement the girl slapped him hard making him stumble back holding his hand to his face. The girl looked angry as hell.

“I saw everything! What was wrong with you? You called out that Kaede girl, and that poor bug man, and-and-and-well you did so much I don’t even want to think of it!” She was shaking with rage. Was this girl just a fan of the show? No...she might have been but if this was just some random passerby saying these words to him he wouldn’t care. But for some reason coming from...whoever this is...it made him feel extreme guilt? But just like always...Kokichi hides his real emotions behind a blank stare.

The girl stopped her ranting and looked up at Kokichi, her eyes still watering. “Don’t you...remember me?”

A blank face, a white lie, a half-truth.

“Nope. Not at all.”

This answer got the girl more upset as she began to sob. “You don’t remember me, do you?” She rummages through her back pocket as she pulls out a poorly drawn clown mask and places it on her face. And for the first time...Kokichi was at a loss for words. That mask was important! Yeah, in his memory he remembered it looking much better but this was DICE’s logo! Their uniform! All of the members had one. However he couldn’t get himself to say anything! Say something! Say anything, stupid!

“I knew it...” The girl places her mask back. “I’m Hanako! The person you promised to take care of DICE if you were ever gone! And now you betrayed everything our organization ever stood for by acting like a mean selfish brat! And not only that!” She stares daggers at the pod containing what appears to be a sleeping Maki. “Big sister tried to kill you! I don’t know what happened in this game but it’s like I don’t even know who you two are anymore! You’re like two evil strangers!” Before she could go on her rant, two policemen had entered from an unseen stairway. Come to think of it that was probably how Hanako got in.

 “Only Crew-members and participants are allowed through this point, little girl.” One says grabbing the girl’s arm. “Ah, her uniform. She must be from that fancy shmancy all girls orphanage not too far from here. According to my records she escapes a lot.”

“Let me go! I-I have to go back to DICE! I hate that orphanage!” Hanako tries to struggle out of the man’s grip but to no avail.

“Wait just a second, fatso! I was talking to her!” Kokichi demands. This girl was being forced back to a place against her will and even if he was the Ultimate Supreme Leader Of Evil, he definitely wasn’t going to sit back and watch these two bully her! Not only that, this girl had information on DICE, maybe she knows the truth. “Shuddup pipsqueak. You got what you deserved.” One cop completely discarded him.  

“Wait, what happened? Did the little grape kid kill anyone directly yet? Shit did I miss his execution?”

“Almost. Seems he tried to kill that Kaito guy under a giant press but then suddenly outta nowhere the complete opposite happens an’ Kaito is alive an’ the supreme leader is squashed like a grape!”

“Shoot! I missed it! Did they record the squashin’?”

“No but you know, they do show his body...or what’s left of it anyways. Plus they do a whole play-by-play anyway with a reenactment of what happened. Sadly I think they’re gonna execute the Kaito kid next...”

“A shame, but at least he’ll go out as a hero, right?”

Kaito...execution...he knew this would happen...and he didn’t really want it to. Hell...after seeing so many of his friends die Kokichi was willing to go through an execution as well out of extreme guilt for not finishing this “destroy Daganronpa” plan quick enough! But at least Kaito will die as a hero, and he’ll most likely die of his disease before Monokuma could really kill him. The thought of that bear being frustrated with that filled Kokichi with so much joy. He smiles a little, only to be pushed away like trash by the cops as they take the girl back up.

“.........”

That’s right...he was the “mastemind”. The guy who kept causing trouble for everyone in the game. The bad guy. The antagonist. That’s what he was now...to the world, to Maki, to Hanako, and most likely to DICE themselves. Whoever Kokichi Ouma was before the Killing Game was gone. Everyone forgot that version, even Kokichi himself...no one would want him around anymore. So it was settled. He won’t go back to his orphanage...he won’t go back to DICE, they tore down their headquarters anyway. He was going to hide away. He’s been doing that for years now and he was good at it. Why stop now? With his blank stare which hid tons and tons of pain, he made his way up the stairs to start his new life who knows where.

---------------------------------------

“Will that be for here or to go?”

“Uhhhh....I think I’ll take it to go. Oh, can I get some extra ketchup?”

“Sure. Alright m’am. Have a happity-happy day.”

God he hated saying that, but he had to. It’s part of Happity Burger’s policy. The woman had to double take looking at him too. No doubt she recognizes him. Shit.

Good thing he was on his break. His manager was apparently not into television shows so he didn’t mind hiring him, though still he hid his name-tag or borrowed a co-workers anytime he needed one for the uniform. Yeah flipping burgers and singing that same stupid happy birthday song to some kid who was this close to barfing on you wasn’t a glorious life but...hey it was a way to get by. Once you get through the stares that is.

And people stared.

A lot.

Ugh.

It was during his break that he got a text from an unknown number. Kokichi slightly looked at his phone to see who it was.

Unknown: Hello? Unknown: Do I have the right number?

Who would even text him besides his boss? He rolls his eyes and goes back to looking at memes trying to get a chuckle out of his depressing life. He looks around to see more people looking at him. Tch..he turn around to the window in the booth he was sitting at, ignoring the trash and spills on the table from the family who ate here before. 

Ding!

Unknown: Kokichi Ouma? 

Okay that surprised him for a second. Hardly anyone knew his name because he wouldn’t tell it, so how the hell would they know? 

You: Sorry, wrong number.

Well he was a liar after all. According to his phone he had only a few minutes of break time left before the lunch rush comes in. He cursed to himself and cleaned up the table he was sitting at. As he did he thought about all of his friends...not all his memories had come back...though some came back quicker than others. He did remember the Killing Game participants vividly though. Kaede, Shuichi, Kiiboy, Kaito,...Maki. Actually now that he’s older and an adult now he holds no ill will towards Maki. The fact that girl...whoever she was...remembered both him and her meant something. He still hasn’t figured that out. But that Kokichi Ouma was dead. Crushed by a  Hydraulic press much to the delight of an entire audience of strangers. Shuichi was right.

He was always going to be alone.

And he was used to it. There was nothing he could do about it. The universe hated him. And honestly...he hated himself too.

Another ding. What do they want now?

Unknown: Yep. It’s you alright. It’s been five or six years, hasn’t it? Meet me outside after work, I want to talk to you.

[lotusdiscussthis]

10: Best Protagonist?

Here’s the rating on protagonists that I like (minus Despair Girls):

1. Makoto Naegi

2. Kaede Akamatsu

3. Hajime Hinata

4. Shuichi Saihara

I just felt the need to put them in order because I have specific feelings for each of them as to why. Makoto Naegi is pretty much the ideal protag for me even though some people I’ve come across don’t think too highly of him. I can understand, because I definitely didn’t think I would like him as much as I did when I first played Trigger Happy. But my liking for him kinda was a gradual thing and it didn’t really cement itself until the later half of the story. Yes, he’s rather generic and doesn’t really hold that strong a presence compared to others, but I find him ideal mainly do to his emotional intelligence considering the position that he was in. I think out of all protags, I feel like he handled the situation like how I would like to think I’d handle it, or rather, how I’d want to handle it. 

Rather clumsy and hesitant to go through with it at the start, but don’t let setbacks and hardships make you falter or keep you from helping others. He’s a rather understanding person in general and I like how even when it came to people like Owada, Togami and even Toko, he was still doing his damnedest to try and making the effort to get to know them and even help them in a way that would be similar to how I’d do it. I feel like that part about him is appealing because when it comes to these games of fear and distrust, to understand others would give you a better advantage of not only keeping yourself stable, but it gives you an idea what they’re capable of if you HAVE to suspect them. That’s how I think anyway. That redeeming trait of his is especially good when talking with Kirigiri and Mukuro. Mukuro certainly showed trust in Makoto and showed her attachment towards him in the Talent Mode and FTEs.(as shown in the novel as well) Also Kirigiri really does give him a rather gentle but solid reality check of their predicament and gives him the courage to take risks when needed, and he gives her his trust and even cooperation in return. They were the best partners, period. 

I think it also helps that we get to see Makoto’s thought process in the narration. When I played, I dreaded over the idea that he would be just a consistently naive and emotional boy to the bitter end who let his ideals get in the way of hating, getting angry or even doubt others. But thankfully I didn’t get that. While he still has this well intentioned faith in others, he didn’t let that get in the way of suspecting everyone, feeling intimidated or doubtful. His emotional stages and thought processes felt believable and he became rather endearing in my eyes. Those are basically my reasons for getting attached to Makoto. 

Kaede Akamatsu was really likable too and is a close second, but of course Makoto has the advantage of being alive past the first chapter. If she had stayed constantly likable and interesting past chapter 1 then maybe she would be number one, but sadly no.

Hajime Hinata is also really good, but I feel like I didn’t get attached to him as well and only started developing sympathy for him at the very end of the game. Hajime is without a doubt the most realistic and believable teenage boy character in this whole series, but when I played as him, I just felt like he’s making standard observations until we finally understood what his real talent was. His narrations are more logical and angry in some areas (which makes sense given what happens), but other than that, playing as him just felt like playing as nothing in particular for the majority. It doesn’t help that when he tries to solve the cases during the trials, he’s being overshadowed by both Nagito AND Chiaki. Those two were basically stealing the show and holding Hajime’s hand for the most part. YES, I know Makoto’s the same with Togami and Kirigiri but like I said, I relate to Makoto more than Hajime to some degree. 

And hey, at least with Nagito, you know he had a purpose to exist in the story to act as more of a foil for Hajime as well as an antagonist. While Chiaki is just a cute spotlight hog and getting all the best deductions and lines. Like seriously, in Chapter 3, Hajime seemed like he was gonna say something really intriguing but then they decided to give the best, deepest line of dialogue to Chiaki. C’mon, Hajime could’ve easily said that himself because he was thinking the same way as her so why????

As for Shuichi Saihara.... Honestly, as sad as I was that Kaede died, I was looking forward to playing as him at the start of chapter 2 because HEY, we get to play as a detective and Shuichi seems really sweet and attentive so this should be interesting. But the problem was that even though he has PLENTY of time on his hands to investigate the place like he did in the first chapter, he just..... doesn’t do it. I mean, for all the griping he does about people dying and how much he’s learned as an apprentice, you’d think he’d have more motivation to actually INVESTIGATE THE SCHOOL. 

Like seriously, being a depressed cinnamon bun is not an excuse to just wait around and not putting your detective skills into use. I don’t care if you’re insecure or that you’re an apprentice, if you’re just gonna cry about how your talent is only useful for when after somebody died, you should try and make the effort into putting your talent into other uses instead of murder solving. 

Gonta finds graffiti on school yard? Not gonna bother looking. 

How bout looking into the secret door in the library, because it obviously still exists for a reason? Nope. 

That giant computer Miu was looking into? Not Shuichi’s problem. 

GOD! He is the most unmotivated protagonist out of everyone. He just waits for Kaito to give him a quick pick me up, he doesn’t take responsibility unless he absolutely must, and he doesn’t make more of an effort to understand the people around him or understand their motivations or behaviors. (*cough cough* Kokichi) He just goes through the motions along with everyone else in the group and doesn’t have much of a backbone or mind of his own. Makoto and Hajime had LESS reasons to make an effort than he does and yet he doesn’t make himself useful as much as I hoped for. 

Now, this whole rant makes it sound like I don’t like him, but that’s not entirely true. I think Shuichi is a sweet boy on his own, but god, he doesn’t deserve the protagonist ahoge that Kaede passed on to him. Ugh.. I’m sorry this went on a little too long but I just finally found the words was looking for and I just lost control. Sorry!

[idolworshiped-blog]

                                   ☆ @fathersburden. ☆

Manyuda Kaede’s reign of terror was over. 

No longer would her funds be bottle-necked in his iron fist. Live shows would go back to the way they were before her ‘failures’, and he’d have no bearing over her ever again.

The memory of the cocksure Manyuda who'd shrugged off her admittedly childish intimidation tactics was long dead, slain by the dragon he'd set off to behead. His careful calculations had finally failed him, and the undoing turned him catatonic right at the poker table. The talk of the favour he would pay her shattered, spilling his true intent over the auditorium and dyeing it as starkly as the white hair around his flushed cheeks on the gurney.

Ah…. Her troubles felt so far away.

Yes, Jyabami did her a real favor taking down the tyrant. No one celebrated the win more sorely than the Saori who’d assumed her time with Yumemi had come to an end. As Sumeragi’s bleeding heart evidenced, Yumemi wasn't the only one he'd tried to work over with a handsome smile. Yumemi was just thankful she hadn't been stupid enough to believe in him for long.

Biggest fan her ass. Was that dickhead really in the habit of thinking he was such hot shit any girl would roll over for him? Sumeragi's was really a dumb broad for falling for a scumbag like that. All the sweet words fed to the girl felt familiar. They were the same lies he tried to feed Yumemi during their amicable organization of her live stage--The promise to rule together.

But, God, it was all over for him now. Wasn't it?

Unwilling to be responsible for the life she’d won, Yumeko handed back Kaede’s life contract to Kirari, who’d then auctioned it off at an insultingly low price. Now the document was in Yumemi’s hands… To do with as she pleased. Clutching the precious document close, Yumemi set off to pay her new toy a visit. If words had no effect in unnerving him, this revelation surely would. A bath of fluorescence cascaded over blush locks falling across milky cheeks. She was flushed with excitement for the cruel deeds she was soon to enact upon a helpless Manyuda. Hair stripped of pigment matted behind his head, his eyes reflected nothing, sunken back in his head from too much sleep. The skin around them was puckered and purple as she lifted the Life Contract beside her face. Towering over his bed, a finger slid beneath the text that read his name with a malevolent grin.

“So? What do you make of this? Huh, Manyuda-kun? Only 5 million en!” Emphasis was placed upon the low, low price of his life. Kirari had sold him off like a commoner, and Yumemi wanted Kaede to know it. Smug air swirled around her smile; nothing like the usual expression she wore. From then on, her visits spelled pain.

Hosting rancorous dance practices in his hospital room, complete with him propped up to watch her with a fansign over his neck and a penlight stuffed into his loose palm. Shouting at him for hours, airing every grievance she had with him as well as her fans. Striking his cheeks with her open palm when he 'refused’ to answer to her. Sweeping his hair into ridiculous updos with six tendrils, painting his face with her makeup into the clown she felt he was. And when Kirari had the idea to place him in her office for the pleasure of the Student Council, wheeled him onstage at one of her lives to be booed and heckled. Under her employ, her fanclub dug for deep dark dirt and reported their findings to the pair at a handshake event. Manyuda would be subject to the news his father had disowned him from every member of her fanclub in a row.

But seemed no matter how angry she got, no matter how she took it out on him, Yumemi felt no better about the situation.

As sour as the events that played out were, Yumemi found herself trapped in memories of Kaede’s smile. Reveling in a victory that never came at his side, planning an event… It was some of the most fun she'd had since she began her career. Though it was an act, it felt like companionship--Teamwork. The company of men was something she had been forced to turn away as an Idol, after all, and a glimpse into a world where she could be scolded playfully by a good looking guy was a temptation she tried not to remember.

As harsh as Manyuda could be, there was a warm feeling in being treated as his equal, or even his lesser. Before him, and in the wake, no one had ever had the nerve to speak to her that way. Even Jyabami was saccharine in her approach… A level of ladylike Yumemi decided to take as an influence from then on at that. The part of her that reveled in Kaede’s inability to retort faded away in favour of disturbia.

No one would know, right?

Soon she changed her tune entirely, her rants in the hushed voice of a girl seeking comfort. She massaged his muscles every day, mumbling to him about how he’d need them when he recovered. She practiced her English, read him magazines, books, anything she could get her hands on. In her mind, this would keep his vocabulary sharp. She traced his lips with her fingers as she laid against his chest, tucked up under the covers in his lap. Sometimes she would even doze off in his arms she'd wrapped protectively around her own shoulders.

She… wanted Manyuda to tell her to cut it out. She wanted his threats, and that cold look in his eye as he looked down at her figuratively and in the literal sense. The revelation shook her to her core one night as she stood screaming for the boy who’d fallen into himself. Her hands locked around the railings of his bed, she bore into empty eyes with a pair pleading.

“You idiot! You're so stupid letting me do all this shit to you! Shouldn't you have something to say about it? Shouldn't you come back?” Her sobs shook her shoulders up and down with such force as if vibrating. It had been a long time since she'd struck him, but the urge overtook her once more. One hit. Then two. Then five. Then she was beating his chest down with her fists like a child having a tantrum, and not long after she was buried cheeks first in his chest. Holding him. Telling him was was sorry, that she was a terrible person, that she'd be better so, please; please come back.

She'd come to love the idea of him. Of the past, of the future… Even the present, despite his vegetative state. She knew it was wrong. She knew it was stupid. But Yumemi was both of those things, and she knew it. Wondering what the real Kaede was like, she made a wish on 1000 paper cranes for God or something to give her a sign or to heal him. Except, origami wasn't her strong suit. Instead she folded 1000 paper airplanes. The nurses were touched by the misguided gesture, hanging a school of them over his bed so he could look at them and consider her will. Others were strewn all over every surface of the room, tucked under the bed--There wasn't a square inch of the room that hadn't been touched by her efforts within the week. All the while she folded and folded, she spoke to him like a friend. She asked him simple rhetorical questions, talked about the latest school drama, about Jyabami Yumeko and the Devouring Families. Her grades, her fans, her feelings. He was her diary at this point, one she treasured.

During her bout of frantic folding, God had come to her--Or maybe it was her own idea. She brought every hobby magazine she could think of, intent on his eyes as she sat across the way reading them to him. She searched for any glimmer of recognition, any little indication he was interested. It took a few weeks, but once she'd found the right hobby, Manyuda performed a miracle. As she held up an aviation magazine, his irises focused in on her. From there, she spent all her free time after school regaling him with information about air travel and flight specs. It was subtle, but she could see it--His eyes danced with light and intelligence, scanning over photos of fighter jets and commuters alike. Yumemi had even found herself interested in the words she was reading, but perhaps that was her fondness for him reflecting in her heart.

Hundreds of books piled up at his bedside until she'd found one nearly as old as he was. It seemed to be a children's book, printed with simple words and large pictures. She felt defeated in reaching such a low level of literature so quickly, but she thought perhaps Manyuda would be able to read this one on his own. Holding it in both hands beside a beaming smile, Yumemi entered the hospital room in perky spirits.

“Maaaanyuda-kun! I came again today too!” Skipping over to his bedside, she came to her usual spot beside him, huddling close to his chest as she presented the gift to him.

In her hands, Amazing Planes.

[evilback-wards]

Top Candidate [Pre-DRV3]

Chapter 16

Length: 1563

Rating: 16+ish is the average I’d say for this series? I dunno!

Prefer AO3 format? Click here. Otherwise, below the line lovelies!

“Blood...donation?” I said, again, to confirm what white-haired girl had said. What did a blood donation have to do with giving Miu her jacket?

“Atua will answer anyones wishes, though, you can’t just ask without giving something in exchange!” the white-haired girl said, wagging her finger in my face. I backed away a bit, looking over to Miu. Miu looked a bit shy, looking down at the ground with her hands inside each other.

“Uhm, the favor is more so for my friend Miu. She’s in need of something to help her cover up...would you mind giving her your jacket?” I asked, gesturing over to Miu. I watch Angie eye Miu up and down, Miu’s face to the floor the entire time. I know MIu stated she hadn’t wanted a girl to stare at her too long, but I figure the girl in the jacket wanted to confirm I was being honest.

“Ooo, that simple of a request? I guess we can put off the blood offering until the killing game starts,” the  white-haired girl said, a smile stretched across her face as she said her words. How could she be so happy saying something like that? Part of me got angry, but, I hid my true emotions with a smile. Is this what playing nice is? It felt like a lie. It probably was a lie to give off such a gesture, but, Miu needed help. Miu’s current outfit was not satisfactory to cover up herself.

As Angie proceeded to take off her jacket, Miu  grabbed me by my shoulder. When I gazed into Miu’s eyes, I couldn’t really make out how she was feeling. Even when I zoomed out my vision to see her entire face, there wasn’t a wrinkle or skin particle that could tell me how Miu felt. It was just a blank expression. Was she still feeling on guard from the questions I asked earlier?

“Here you are, it’d be a shame for you to walk around with your body falling out of your clothes,” the white-haired girl said, draping the jacket over Miu’s shoulders. I could feel Miu jump slightly at the feeling. Miu proceeded to carefully slip her arms inside of the jacket, the sleeves large enough to easily fit her figure.

The jacket itself was pretty big on the white haired girl, and it was no exception to Miu. The only difference was that the jacket stopped just above Miu’s ass. Ah, I shouldn’t be looking this closely at Miu. My eyes jumped back up to Miu’s face, a small smile growing on it.

“T-Thank you for t-this,” Miu said to my direction, turning to bow at the white haired girl, “And thank you for your kindness! May I ask your name?”

“My name is Angie! It is a pleasure to meet you, Miu, and your strange robot companion,” Angie announced herself, taking a bow, “May Atua guide you to survival!”

The woman in front of us appeared to be quite the devotee to whatever religion she identified with. I hadn’t wanted to cause any unneeded banter about religion during a time like this, but, something was strange. Was Angie not assigned a number?  Each time I wanted to ask, Miu and Angie appeared to get into a conversation about their outfits, hair dye, among other topics. I couldn’t get a word in. Was now the time to make more friends? I managed to become friends, learn more about, and assist Miu! Now, it was time to do the same for others.

I decided to approach the man in red and the woman in her school uniform. They appeared to be in something of an argument as I ambled over to  them.

“From what you’re telling me, you just blew our chances of surviving this place. Good job.”

“Don’t ‘good job’ me you fucking cunt! That boy is really draining to be around, always crying and pissing away his time sobbing over his ex girl. That girl Kaede is who I really wanna stick around with. If you want to befriend whiny hat boy, go ahead.”

“Maybe you need to learn a thing or two about being social. I doubt we’ll be able to leave this place without making as many allies as possible. You’re only making things worse for yourself.”

“Then why are you still here, why don’t you go run along with blonde bitch and whiny boy?!? I don’t care what it’ll take for me, I will l get a spot on the killing game and I will win!”

The purple haired man slammed his hand against the wall, making me a bit nervous. I had to dissolve this situation the best I knew how. I couldn’t befriend people who were having an argument. I had to dissolve that first before getting to know either of them.

“Please, sir, calm down! Perhaps your frie--”

“I don’t have any friends here. Just people I know a bit about. Now if you don’t get out of my way this instant, I may be tempted to bust that brain out of your little robotic head!”

Things were escalating beyond my previous calculations. I took some steps back, hiding my face underneath my arms. How could humans become so violent so quickly?  I shivered in anticipation of a hit of some sort, but I all heard was the sound of muffled screaming.

“Shh...Shhhh…,” a voice cooed from  above me. What was going on? Did one of the other humans manage to tranquilize the angry purple man? I still felt uneasy from looking out and putting myself in danger, but then a thought came to mind: Miu. Did I really want to risk Miu getting mixed up in this as well, what if the purple man was starting to make strides to attack her?

My eyes peaked through my arms, seeing an...unsettling sight to say the least. The black-haired girl had a pillow pushed directly over the purple man’s face. Said purple man was turning purple himself, his eyes rolling back into his head.  Once the man went limp in her arms, she removed the pillow from his face.

“I apologize for his actions. I was in his training cohort and he tends to be reckless,” the girl said, slinging the man over her shoulder and tossing the pillow on a nearby couch, “Name’s Maki. Dumb number they assigned me is #931. Your name is K1-B0, right?”  I was impressed by her strength but also petrified by her presence. I had never seen a girl, even in the research team, that managed to flip a human body like that.

I nodded quickly to the Maki’s words,  unsure if I befriend a person who just nearly suffocated someone to death. But, something was confusing me. The purple man clearly stated Maki wasn’t his friend...but they clearly had some sort of history together. I had to quench my curiosity and find out more!

“So, are you guys friends? That was pretty violent of you to choke him like that,” I asked, readjusting my body to a more comfortable position. I lowered my arms to my sides, watching Maki’s face turn a bit pale.

“Do you wanna die? ” Maki  spoke in another fear inducing matter, causing me to step back further.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” I said, repeating it over and over, or at least until i felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Atua will keep you safe, Keebo!”  Angie’s voice rang out beside me. I took a look over my shoulder to see Angie behind me. She had a wide grin on her face as Miu hid behind her.

“D-Don’t threaten Keebo like that. He saved me from a mean group of me, er, other people auditioning for my part. And I’m sure you had your reasons for knocking that boy out, Kaito I think his name is?” Miu said, her voice noticeably louder than I’d ever heard her speak before. I smiled at this, feeling a bit happy at that change. Perhaps Miu was gaining confidence. Unlike me, who hid their face like a coward. I felt envious almost, since I felt that I still had the same confidence as before. My eyes jumped back to Maki, who had started walking in the direction that the other two fled beforehand.

“Very well then. We shall become allies for the time being. We should find two other people. One is a blonde and the other is wearing a hat, a girl and boy respectively. They appear to have connections to whoever is running this thing,” Maki announced, picking up her pace as she finished her sentence. Angie followed immediately, ranting about something related to Atua.

“Let’s go Keebo. We need to make more friends if we wanna survive,” Miu said, taking my hand. I looked over Miu, a smile now on her face. It seemed  that Miu became more confident now that her body was better covered with the jacket.

As I followed Maki, I began to ponder through all the various possibilities that could happen. Would we find the other two before the second round of auditions began? Will a new group of students come into the hall?  

As my thoughts raced, I felt Miu pull closer to my shoulder. We were beginning to exit from the separate hallway and enter a new sea of other auditioners.

(Click here to initiate audience participation survey!)

[archive-of-fics]

Your Name? - Ayato Kirishima

Ayato’s fingers drum along the side of the counter as he waits for the girl before him to make her order. Her face is scrunched up in thought, her eyes squinting to read the menu above him. Maybe she should get glasses or something, perhaps it would speed her up to be able to read the words. He has to pinch himself to refrain from saying something rude, that would get him in a mess with his manager. “I’ll… I’ll just take a medium coffee.” His hand twitches, he’s been standing there for a good five minutes and all she settles on is a plain coffee? She’s building up quite the massive line behind her, too. It’s obvious that she isn’t a regular to this particular cafe, no regular would ask for a ‘medium coffee’. There are probably 5 different drinks that could match with that order. Ayato sighs, grumbling as he punches a few numbers into the cash register. (He’ll just go with the one he prefers.) “Your total is $4.15,” The barista picks up a ‘medium’ sized cup from the side and a felt-tipped marker, “May I get your name?” “Kaede, except spelt with an F.” She replies without skipping a beat. “Right, of course--wait, what?” Ayato has the marker bleeding onto the paper cup as he whips his head up in confusion, “Could you--could you spell that out for…” The girl just kept beaming at him. “What the fuck.” He mumbles softly. He ends up writing exactly what she told him to. - Ayato likes to think of himself as a pretty chill guy (he’s really not), he doesn’t lose his cool over things easily (he really does), he can be levelheaded and make sound judgement (he can’t). But, this girl, this girl just keeps driving him up the wall. It’s hard to explain to your sister why you asked her if there was some alternate spelling for ‘Kaede’ with an F. It’s even harder to see her double over in laughter at your dumbfounded face. Purging the thought of his humiliation last night from his mind, he focuses on the cash register and customer in front of him. He works through order after order, and his blood almost runs cold at the sight of the girl from yesterday lined up at the very end of the queue. Ayato glances at his co-worker, at this time of day there were two people running the registers. If luck would be kind enough, the girl would be served by the other barista. Five orders later, the overworked boy wipes his forehead with the back of his hand as he looks up. Well, apparently someone shoved a stick up luck’s ass because it wasn’t feeling particularly merciful today. “Oh, it’s you again!” Her eyes twinkle with mischief, Ayato can already feel the dread creeping up his leg. “How can I help you today?” He inquires through gritted teeth. “Hm…” She pouts slightly, once again shifting her gaze up towards the menu, “Can you give me what you got me last time? It was really good.” “A Grande Americano? Okay.” Ayato is halfway through inputting the numbers in before he pauses at the retching noise the girl emits. “What kind of heathen pronounced the ‘e’ in ‘grande’?” She shakes her head in dismay. “The heathen is in charge of your drink right now, so would you be so pleased as to give me your name this time?” He hisses. He’s entirely prepared for another ‘Kaede except spelt with an F’ to spill out of her mouth, so prepared that it doesn’t even happen. “Jin, but it’s spelt with a ‘p’.” Ayato is ready to kill someone. - “This girl is testing my patience.” Hinami giggles as she flits back and forth behind the counter, preparing drinks. “She sounds like a fun person!” Ayato used to wonder how she could have much energy even though everyone here was probably a broke student and tired with everything, but he really doesn’t care enough to ask either. “No, anything but.” The boy runs a hand through his hair, frustrated as he leans against the counter, “People like her are the worst, just let me do my job for fuck’s sake.” His co-worker doesn’t even try to repress the grin on her face, “People like her are what make this job less boring! Being a barista is so mundane otherwise.” “Keep telling yourself that.” He grumbles. “Why don’t you just ask her for her real name next time then?” - As weeks go by, Ayato finds himself preparing speech after speech. He readies angry rants in his mind for every time he sees that same girl with a sweet smile and (e/c) eyes, but it always seems to go away as soon as she opens her mouth. Personally, he’s getting a little offended. They’ve been sharing conversations everyday, to the point where the topics been getting a little personal. Yet, he still doesn’t know her name. He tries to recount the things he’s learnt about her. She’s afraid of loud noises and speaking in public. She spends a lot of her time reading stories online rather than sleeping. She’s so dedicated to the things she loves it’s almost terrifying. It’s also apparent that she enjoys watching him squirm with the lack of knowledge for her name. Ayato isn’t that bothered by it. (He’s really bothered by it.) - The agitated boy taps his finger against the wooden counter. The cafe is empty, unsurprisingly. It was awfully late, and any person studying whilst taking advantage of the free wifi had already bought drinks. Except for that girl. She sat near the front of the store, resting her clasped hands on the table and staring down. Whatever thoughts she seems to be lost in definitely aren’t of the pleasant variety. Is it any of Ayato’s business? No. Does he care? Also no. With feigned irritation, he asks Hinami to cover the register while he’s gone. He elects to ignore her teasing remarks as he pours a cup of americano into a mug to bring to the girl, but not without a seething glare that could kill. As he approaches her table, he feels all his anger fading, it’s all immediately replaced with unease. Perhaps she hasn’t noticed that he’s there, she hasn’t moved an inch. Ayato takes a moment to take in her image, the bags under her eyes scream fatigue and her disheveled appearance doesn’t really help either. He coughs, quietly. His suspicions are confirmed when she jumps at the sound, so absorbed in her thoughts she didn’t see him there before. Now, if Ayato hadn’t been such a socially awkward prick, he might have smiled a little and asked a vague conversation starting question. Too bad. “Are you gonna order something or are you gonna continue loitering around?” He internally winces and cringes at the insensitive question. Startled, the girl stares up at him with glistening eyes. Surely she’s blinking back unshed tears now. “Oh… Sorry, just,” She averts her gaze in a hurry, “Not having a good day, or week, or just a good time in general.” “Here.” He says bluntly. Ayato is seems about as sympathetic as a rock on the outside, but in his head he’s mentally beating himself over his choice of words as he practically shoves the mug into her hands, “My treat.” The dumbstruck look on her pretty face is probably worth everything, he decides. “I… T-thank you?” Her fingers wrap around the handle delicately, “Why don’t you sit down…?” ‘Now or never.’ “May I get your name for that?” He gestures a finger pointedly at the cup of coffee. The girl’s expression goes astonished for another moment before she lapses over in laughter. Sputtering over his stupid pickup line, she almost spills her drink everywhere. Ayato feels his cheeks warming as blood rushes to his face, he doesn’t think he’s ever regretted something as hard as this in his entire life. “O-oh, my god,” She wheezes, pretending to wipe tears away from her eyes. Her twinkling laughter sounds better than her heavy sighs. “It’s (y/n).” “Nice, I’m Ayato.”