#/ but Nina is the one exception. She's so intertwined with her brother canonically

[dernarrleid]

CHARACTER SHEET INFO

Name: Anna Liebert (first real name she associates with herself), Nina Fortner (the name she truly resonates with from her adopted parents)

THREE HEADCANONS YOU’VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE

Nina's something of a sleeper. She doesn't have command phrases or words, but her brother is able to give off a presence that draws her up by a string. In the manga, it's speculated maybe once or twice that Nina's actually the monster and doesn't realize it. That within her in something Johan's actually trying to protect her from, which is like, never mentioned in detail but man. It's definitely present in my characterization (as loose as it may be. idk, she needed more screentime).

Johan's decided he needs to be more involved in her sister's development, unfortunately(?) Nina's had boyfriends. Both of them not exceptional, more like good friends. It's not until Johan gentle nudges her in the direction of an upperclassmen, sometime around her last bachelor semester, that she realizes women are more appealing. Even later she realizes that sex seems more like an activity to enjoy distantly than something she necessarily craves.

Aside from the obvious issues with her mother, Nina finds comfort in dangerous men. She likes that they share that element in common, and doesn't shy away from the knowledge they bestow from time to time. It's funny, because occasionally, they'll look at her and wonder why the hell she's so interested in them and just oh. Like, wow, this girl found me out, hasn't told the police, hasn't change her demeanor once. Who the hell is she? And as soon as they have that private revelation, like clockwork, she's on their tail asking them question after question, lesson after lesson, gathering all sorts of information and techniques to eventually use for herself. And the strange part about most of them is that they'll give her what she wants without much effort. There's always a "you're so young and pretty, why do you need to do this?" Nina gets that look in her eyes and once again, they just know.

THREE THINGS YOUR CHARACTER LIKES DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME:

Read. Classics, the newspaper, web articles. You name it, she's read it.

Making clothes. She studying for a law degree, but she's also super into fashion. It's sort of comforting to her, as most of her brother's antics involve disguises, so when given permission (or orders disguised as requests) to be the distraction, Nina's brought it upon herself to pad them with the most ambitious styles she has knowledge of.

Training. She can fire a gun with 75% accuracy, so they're not her weapon of choice. If she must defend herself, she'd rather use martial arts and integrate a few small knives if the verse demands her to be more physically inclined. (Despite the grit required to make this something to like, she does enjoy it as a way to release pent up resentment. It's almost spiritual. Some techniques she'll get the hang of and be able to turn her brain off, going through the motions.)

SIX PEOPLE YOUR CHARACTER LIKES/LOVES:

She interacts with like, 4 people because her Mun is dysfunctional.

TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS:

Not fighting for her brother when they were children. It was almost always Johan protecting her, but she couldn't recall ever doing the same for him.

Shooting him too.

TWO PHOBIAS YOUR CHARACTER HAS:

No phobias!

TAGGED BY: @unladielike TAGGING: @mugunghwc ( kim ), @badheart ( futaba/fang ), @furiaei, @zorkaya

[dregstrash]

a new soc and ck fan with some thoughts about Kaz Brekker (also a little about inej/kanej)-- it’s going to be a little long

I just finished both books last week and honesty, I have so many thoughts about one of my most favorite characters Kaz freaking Brekker that I am just going to write down because I can’t hold it in.

FIRST OF ALL

- I’ve never read a character so perfectly characterized as an anti-hero with a perfect storm of chaotic neutral and just a hint of chaotic good as Kaz “Bastard of the Barrel” Brekker. The self-proclaimed monster that he is, wasn’t because he was born a certain way or because he was part of some bigger prophecy. The fact of the matter is that Kaz was born into a loving family that fell on bad times. He was born to trust his older brother, maybe even idolize him, and see the good in people. So when that was taken away, when he realized that something darker lay about the world, especially in the hot mess that is Ketterdam he forced himself to start a new-- to survive. And if I may borrow a quote from dear sweet Inej, “The heart is an arrow, it demands aim to land true.” And truer words could not have been spoken in the case for Kaz. To survive means to have purpose, to have a reason to join a gang and rise up from the ranks, to have a reason to be ruthless, to have a reason to be angry at the world that took everything away. Kaz Brekker used vengeance as his target and in doing so has given him a “renewed life” just like he stated to Pekka about being reborn.

- Another thing about writing him as the perfect anti-hero/chaotic neutral. I know that at some point in his journey to vengeance and money, he realized that he couldn’t be left with weakness (i.e. human emotions). I think a common thing to look for in these anti-heroes is that sliver of humanity, that good deed that proves that these people aren’t as bad as we think or they think they are, that in some way they are redeemable. And I am definitely one of those people who try to see the good in everything, but in Kaz’s case I honestly believe that he is the purest form of anti-hero. He does things because they get him something. He lies because he has to. He threatens because he means it. He is blunt about what he wants (with the exception of Inej, but more on that later). But more to that, he doesn’t/never wanted to be a hero, he told Inej that countless times. He had to destroy any sort of altruism within himself because he had to, again as we’ve learned Weakness would get you killed in The Barrel. He did good things not because they were good, but because he really had to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. And that’s why I love him so much. He’s fearless. He doesn’t care. He knows that his life is short-- maybe even revels in the fact that he hasn’t died yet. I have never met/encountered a character who was so carefully crafted to be so cruel, yet so compelling and makes me care about him so much. 

SECOND OF ALL

- INEJ. Freaking Inej Ghafa. His little Suli idealist. The Wraith. The only person in the whole entire Grishaverse that knew him, that knew his weakness, that knew her own worth, that knew enough that she couldn’t be the one to save him. In the case of Kaz, I love love love the fact that she acknowledges that she has feelings towards someone who had made the conscious effort to try and act cold towards her. She acknowledges and chooses instead to let him make the first moves because heaven knows that she wasn’t going to pine after him forever. And that fact alone forced Kaz to acknowledge that a small part of him that was still human. Whether or not the Bastard of the Barrel acknowledges it, Inej changed him in a way that no other member of his crew could ever fathom of changing him. Inej made him want something other than vengeance, power, money, etc. Inej made him try to face the waters that threatened to drown him every time his skin touched another person’s skin. Inej made him acknowledge that he was a monster, but that didn’t mean that a monster had to be completely heartless. Inej’s decision to be herself and to focus on her own goals beautifully brought out this side of Kaz that he didn’t even want to admit. That is undoubtedly one of the most badass moments ever.

- That scene at the end of Crooked Kingdom killed me. It was right before Inej met up with Kaz. It was when she was planning to buy a ship, gather what crew she could, and making plans to go to her homeland. She as reflecting about the meeting with Kaz. She was acknowledging that she would see him one last time, act like everything was normal because she would not let herself hang onto the Kaz she knew before the Ice Court Job. Her whole plan to just report to him what she heard and leave him to run his gang and let him go, was absolutely ruined-- not completely anyway-- because Kaz came to her without his armor. Talk about full freaking circle. Now was it what Inej wanted? I don’t know, but it certainly meant a lot to her. Kaz had made the conscious effort to take his gloves off. He made the decision to prove that he was willing to try, to fight his traumas, if only to get her to return. Not to abandon her mission, but to return to him as she saw fit. He let her brush against his knuckles. He let her hold his hand. He let her intertwine his fingers through his. Then of course we get the iconic “Is my tie on straight” scene and that was the epitome of a story that ended with the right amount of hope for the future.

AND FINALLY

- I don’t know if this is controversial, but I’m glad that we didn’t get a Kanej kiss. At first, like any good shipper, I was disappointed because after all this time, after the slow-burn romance of course I wanted a sweet kiss that would’ve made the ship “officially” canon. But honestly, I think the hand-holding scene at the end of Crooked Kingdom was pretty clearly an indication that it Kanej was canon. Just because we didn’t get the Nina/Matthias treatment of their relationship, does not make their progression to hand-holding any less valid. If we had gotten a Kiss from Kanej, I don’t think that would have stayed true to Kaz’s character, or Inej’s for that matter. Both of them have been through literal hell, and that largely involves their bodies. Kaz can’t handle skin on skin. Inej has had more than her fair share of sexual abuse. For them to suddenly share a kiss would be a disservice to their characters. Kaz still has a long way to go before he could ever think about kissing someone. Sure, he has said that he wanted to kiss Inej. He has made it clear that he has definitely pined after her, but his past traumas are still very much prevalent in him. It’s not an illness that is solved because of “the one.” It’s an illness that is fought step by step (or brick by brick if you catch my drift). So the hand-holding is that first step. I’m sure it was taking everything he had to keep the drowning waters at bay. I’m really sure he had to take several long deep breaths and reminders of who he was touching before it was comfortable for him to continue to hold Inej’s hand. It felt more natural and even more intimate than any kiss for Kanej to stand in front of the ocean holding hands because it was something Kaz had never dreamed of ever trying. 

- Of course, in the future hopefully, I still want them to have that tender kiss because I am a shipper and I am allowed to dream. But that could take a while and honestly, I’m fine with that. Just the acknowledgement that both of them would fight with each other instead of trying to heal something within them they couldn’t heal is more than enough to make me happy.