#/ better late than never tho right
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cute guy winked at me while he was wearing a milan tracksuit........ i might self combust
#there's a 99.9% chance it means nothing#maybe even more#do cishet guys wink at...other men? tbh i don't even know if he thinks i'm a woman or a man or. confused about my gender#there's like equal chances for all three#and also honestly i'm even uglier as a âwomanâ than i am if you look at me as a man#i'm slightly better if you see me as nonbinary bc i mean that's who i am. like i'm still ugly but. slightly better#he might actually even know i'm trans lol#bc (wait for this) he's the son of one of my landlords (still not entirely sure which one. that family has 600 people and half of them are#legally my landlords/ladies)#(i'm exaggerating of course)#but like at least some people in that family know i'm trans bc my legal name is still my deadname but i try as much as possible to live as#nico so i had to be like hey that's my legal name but call me nico.. and he....#so who knows maybe they spread the word lol i would hope not but do i trust cis people? absolutely not. never#anyway all this to say... what was i saying. he probably just acts like that with everyone who's around his age or worse just the women đĽ˛#he's so cute tho.. and i've met him a few times lately bc he's been helping out at the family shop i guess and he's always so nice to me#i mean i'm a customer so he probably has to lol he's good at it tho. better than the guy who works there all the time (his dad ?)#and the first time i met him recently i was going to pick up a package and he remembered my name?!? we never rly talked#he was like ânico right?â with the most beautiful smile.......... that's the moment i was like oh no. i never have to see this guy again#unfortunately i have 3 more times and. oh no. i can't be getting a crush that's horrible i don't want it#nico rambles#<- never has this tag been truer to the nature of a post (lie)
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â || âˇ
Typical Wednesday's at Britechester
Dan: Good morning Dr. Kapoor and Dr. Miller.Â
Dr. Kapoor: It is a lovely day, isnât it? That makes todayâs topic much more difficult to discuss. You may sit, Daniela. Dr. Miller and I were reviewing your grades. You see, youâre a tough lady to get a hold of. We were hoping a phone call to your parents would have been sufficient but weâve seen little progress.Â
Dan: I apologize.Â
Dr. Kapoor: Daniela, youâre about to be on academic probation if nothing changes. You wonât get to walk.Â
Dr. Miller: Youâre a brilliant student. Iâve seen it in the essays you have sent. Iâm curious as to why you seem so eager to hold back.Â
Dan: Itâs⌠[ pauses ] My poor time management.Â
Dr. Miller: Or a lack of effort.Â
Dr. Kapoor: Dr. Miller and I would like to give you an opportunity. We will give you a week to write a seven hundred word essay about your definition of gratitude and the importance of it. I expect to see it sent to us by no later than Monday morning.
#lmao this wasn't supposed to be a scene but i wrote it on Friday at like 2am#and like a week ago i was struggling to draft out some scenes and of course one pops up right before the scheduled day to post#better late than never tho#tessellate#sims 4 story#tessellate: dan
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the vibes SIGN brings to the table
#izna#kpop moodboard#aesthetic moodboard#izna moodboard#gg moodboard#iznaedit#kpopedit#tomioka mai#bang jeemin#narai koko#ryu sarang#choi jungeun#jeong saebi#moodboard.edit#iznablr.edit#this was meant to be posted right after sign era ended but I got distracted w/ other things lol#better late than never ig#i'm gonna make this an ongoing series tho to send off each era so look forward that ^^#the styling and aesthetics for this era were top notch tho MAJOR improvements from their debut#beep has very big shoes to fill
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Between u n me besties I kno they fucked something up bc I noticed a separate character creator folder alongside the game folder like weeks ago n didnt understand why they were separated except the folder was empty đ¤
#talk#i wonder why it got delayed so late tho like??? it shoulda released way before the game lol#better late than never tho am i right
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FUCK it's a "I love my friends so much it hurts" kinda night. This is bad bc I should really be winding down rn.
#ramblings#đ#guhhhhh i got. first-draft yellows for the people who i can vibe check rn but i should try and get them closer to what feels Right#thinking abt doing it in coolors bc itd be silly to just have a palette of my friends and also bc that might just work better for me#i think i made a lot of people too light in this first draft i need more. saturation#at least for some folks. others the more desaturated look works well on#man how long has it been since ive talked about my Yellow thing. like yellow symbolizing friendship is a basic thing i get that#but idk for a while now i think. yellows been my second-favorite color. if i ignore my self-identification with#the color green it may straight up *be* my favorite color. so its really comforting to me and ive tossed around the idea#for years now of sitting down and assigning friends specific yellows. and i just havent LOL#WELL. THATS A LIE ive known what two people would be for years now but just never got the motivation to work out a color seriously#i think i mightve done something close b4 but idc i dont wanna check. i wanna run with my current thoughts#but with me getting. so many new friends lately ive rlly been wanting to sit down and do this again#its for nobody but me really. but once i have solidified yellows ill probably tell people#theres more to it. but the tldr is that id wanna use these yellows in personal art. represent more than just my friends vaguely and instead#represent the individuality among them. i have no super solidified ideas yet tho aside from like. me incorporating them into#a personal design that. plays on the me-color green thing already so it's fitting there i think
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college đ#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head đ??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an assholeđ#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO đđ#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like đ˘^^) (^^đ˘ selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time đđ#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping â hajusae [prri]
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a lil' something sweet
Farmhand! Joel x Married! Reader
summary: After your husbands aunt passes away, he takes on the responsibility of caring after the beloved family farm. Coming from the city after living there your whole life to moving to a huge farm in the middle of nowhere is a shock to you. But what shocks you even more is the comfort you find from the live-in farmhand, Joel Miller.
word count: 25.5k
warnings/tags: 18+ only. MINORS DNI. no outbreak AU. non canon Joel. country side on a farm type shit. Joel is a lonely man. Kinda creepy but in a sexy way. heavy petting. thigh riding. Joel finishes in his pants. Infidelity (oops). joel's possessive but not in a toxic way (outloud). unprotected p-in-v sex. creampies. slight breeding kink if you squint right. age gap. reader is mid to late 20's and joel is pushin' 50. petnames (baby, baby doll, baby girl, darlin', ya know). readers husband is a real dick. slight fatshaming (we hate the husband). joel makes it better. lots of soft touches and kisses. fluffy, angsty, smutty. happy ending. (no y/n, reader is AFAB. minimal physical descriptions)
a/n: this was fun to write cause desperate, needy joel is my absolute favorite thing. also the word count makes me go brrr cause wdym it's so long?? and while we don't usuallyyy fuck with infidelity, it was warranted here. please pay attention to the warnings if you don't like any of what is mentioned, don't read it. thank u all tho and i hope u enjoy it ~
this was a long mf time coming

-
You were never a fan of the countryside. Being somewhere so far from civilization terrified you. What do you mean the nearest big grocery store was over an hour away⌠in each direction? So, when your husband told you his Aunt Karla had passed, and that heâd be taking care of the family farm, you began to panic. You were sympathetic of course and consoled him as best you could, but leaving the city? Hell, you'd even considered divorce; it was that serious. Not really, but almost.
The drive was long and tiring. Youâd rented a moving truck and packed all your belongings from your hometown and drove the seven hours it took to reach his aunt's farm. Anxiety set in almost immediately as the tall buildings and fast-food restaurants on every other corner disappeared. Trees and fields and wildflowers surrounded your view as the long and narrow highway seemed to go on forever. Your husband, Luke, decided to make a few pit stops for gas or bathroom breaks, even a quick fuck in the front seat on the side of the road- which, you werenât really all that into.
Seven grueling hours later, the farm came into view. It was a lot larger than what you thought it was going to be. The two-story farm home sat in the middle of the plot of land, surrounded by lots of trees. A big, peeling red barn sat to the left and to the right, at least two or three horses roamed in a fenced area. What was Luke thinking? You had never stepped foot on a farm in your life besides maybe an elementary school field trip 20 years ago. How did he think youâd be able to handle a barn full of animals?
Luke parked the moving van in front of the house which sat on a hill. Concrete stairs led up to the front door and you sighed, dreading the trips back and forth. Luke gave you a pointed look before sighing himself.
âListen⌠weâre doing my family a favor by taking over the farm. And it's not going to be forever. Just a couple years and then when Nick gets back from the Marines, he said heâd take it and then weâll head back to the city, okay?â Luke says in annoyance, mentioning his brother. You nod, grabbing your purse from the front seat and heading up the stairs to check the house out.
Stepping inside felt surreal, like youâd gone into a different decade as you gazed at all the antique furniture, hutches with fine China, and flowered wallpaper. You couldnât help but let out a deep breath as you set your purse down, walking into the kitchen. It was nice and quaint, and honestly it made you feel some semblance of comfort as you took in the marble counter tops and Chicken themed decorations.
You loved to cook and bake, and as you saw the built-in pasta maker on the counter and the bread oven on the far wall, you had a thought that maybe you could do this. Maybe you could make this work.
After a moment, Luke steps inside as you wander around the house, noting the three bedrooms and the two and a half baths the home has to offer. He huffs out heavily, setting down three boxes stacked on one another. âUh, honey? Are you going to help or what?â he asks, a bit of bite to his tone.
âSorry, I was just checking everything out. The master bedroom is nice! But itâs kinda stuffy in here. Where do I turn the AC on?â You ask curiously only to be met with a scowl. Your eyebrows knit in confusion as you wait for him to answer.
âJesus⌠This house was made in like, 1803. Thereâs no air conditioning, babe. If itâs stuffy, open the windows.â Luke says as he turns around, heading back to the truck.
You throw your head back in frustration. No grocery stores nearby, no air conditioning, all these damn animals, and of course Luke being an asshole about it all. Youâd been quiet about this whole thing since Luke told you, not asked, but told you heâd taken over his aunt's farm. You didnât want to complain or make it seem like an inconvenience when he was grieving. But it was. You werenât cut out for this life and that was okay. Unfortunately, you loved your husband and told yourself to at least give it a shot. That was a decision you were beginning to regret.
âCome on! Iâm doing all the work here!â Luke yells from the truck, bringing you from your thoughts. You close your eyes for a moment longer before heading down the steps to help him. Maybe heâll be in a better mood once youâre done setting everything up. At least you could only hope.
A few hours pass and you have most of your belongings unpacked. Youâd left a lot of stuff back at your apartment in the city since your sister was going to take over your lease while you were away. All that was left to be taken care of was the bedroom stuff.
Your eyes settle on the cuckoo clock as it chimes, 6pm already. You excuse yourself from unpacking as you head downstairs to start working on dinner. Luke groans about how heâs had to do all the work all day, but lets you go downstairs to cook. Nodding, you head down the steps into the kitchen, figuring out where to start.
After Karla passed, a lot of the stuff she had was packed and separated between family members, but they left the kitchen alone. You opened the fridge, deciding to start there. It was still full of stuff, and you began to make a mental note of what ingredients you saw. A couple fresh eggs, milk, butter, some different meats and veggies. After checking the rest of the kitchen, you came up with the idea of breakfast for dinner. Waffles, eggs, and bacon.
As you got to work, you didnât notice the back porch door swing wide open. And you definitely didnât notice the man that came in through it. He sets a basket of farm fresh eggs on the counter, bringing you from your thoughts as you whisk together the batter.
Your eyes widen as you jump with a yelp, clutching your chest as the man stares at you with a blank expression. He doesnât offer his hand or anything, he just stares and says, âJoel.â
As your heart settles, you nod slowly. âYour name is Joel?
Joel nods too, his eyes leaving yours as he sees Luke enter the room.
âHoney, whatâs the matter, why did you yell? Oh! Youâve met Joel.â Luke smiles, âBabe, this is Joel Miller. Heâs the farm hand. He takes care of the animals and stuff, cleans the farm up, gathers⌠eggs. Heâs worked for my aunt forever.â Luke continues as his eyes glance down at the basket Joel brought in.
âNice to meet you, Joel. Sorry, I was really concentrated on making this waffle batter I didnât even hear you come in.â You say softly, a small smile on your lips.
ââS okay. I can be kinda quiet sometimes. Iâll holler next time I drop the eggs off.â Joel speaks. His voice is gruff and low. Somehow nostalgic, or at least thatâs what you thought as your chest fills with a familiar feeling. Your eyes traveled to his as you smiled, taking in the features of this stranger.
He was older. Maybe in his early 50âs or late 40âs. He had a broad nose with a scar on the bridge. His chocolate brown eyes seem tired, but kind; inviting. His hair was dark and graying and as your eyes traveled lower, you noticed how his arms seemed to bulge under the dirtied, navy-blue shirt he was in. âHandsomeâ was the first word to pop into your mind. You cleared your throat and looked at Luke who seemed annoyed about something. Whatâs new?
âWell, see you folks later. It was nice meetinâ you, sweetheart.â Joel says as he makes his leave. You watch him go before turning back to the batter, trying to finish everything up. Once dinner time finally arrives, Luke ends up complaining the entirety of the meal about how waffles are breakfast food and having them for dinner is like a crime against humanity. You think itâs funny how he eats them anyways.
The first night here sucks. Itâs incredibly hot as the thick quilt on his aunt's bed sticks to your skin. Sweat beads from your forehead as you toss and turn, dripping down your neck and back. Deciding you canât do it anymore, you throw the comforter off you and stomp downstairs, irritated by every little thing from today. The long drive, the car sex, Lukeâs attitude, the heat. You head through the kitchen to the back porch, and you finally get relief in the form of the cool night breeze. You feel your sweat dry against your skin, leaving you sticky but honestly, you couldnât care less right now. The breeze has a nip to it, signaling summers soon-to-be end, and you couldnât wait.
Your eyes close, savoring the fresh air against your cheeks. You donât know how much time passes but you only open them when you hear the sound of a guitar in the wind. Looking around the backyard, you notice a small guest house down the hill. It had to be Joelâs. The porch light is on, the front door open, and before you can even think, you begin to walk towards it.
The tiny home isnât far away from the main house, but a good enough distance that you realize you probably should have put shoes on. Gravel digs into your heels, but it doesnât hurt. The guitar becomes louder as you approach, a melancholic tune strummed from the strings. As you reach the house, doubt fills your mind. You probably shouldnât even be here just showing up like some creep. But you also figure youâve come this far⌠Plus, itâd be nice to get to know him in some capacity considering he works here on the farm youâll be living on. Or thatâs what you tell yourself.
You step quietly onto the wood porch, savoring the cool night air and the sadness of his guitar. Now that youâre closer, you can hear Joel humming too. An unsure smile etches on to your face as you walk into the doorway, working up the courage before knocking on the wood.
âHey⌠sorry to bother you.â You say softly, not wanting to alarm him.
Joel looks up to you in surprise, his fingers stop against the neck of his guitar. âOh, well, hi there. What can I do for you?â
âOh! Nothing. I was⌠I was just on the back porch trying to cool off and I heard a guitar. Figured this is where you stay, and I thought Iâd come and say hi. Maybe listen to you play for a bit?â You say nervously. You almost feel embarrassed. You donât even know this man.
Joel looks a bit confused at first before nodding to the couch next to his rocking chair heâs sitting in. You pad into the house with little steps before sitting down. Your body flushes with nerves as you look at him, like youâre waiting for something to happen.
Joel doesnât say anything. He just begins to play again, a different song this time. You settle into the plaid couch as he strums, the cool air from the front door being open blows in and you shiver. Your eyes widen as you realize youâre in your ivory, silk nightie and embarrassment floods your cheeks for real this time. Joel probably thinks youâre insane, or maybe he thinks youâre wanting to seduce him. Which, no, of course you weren't; youâre married! Red flushes against your cheeks and you subconsciously pull your nightgown down, trying to cover your knees.
Joel plays for a while before speaking. He clears his throat, hesitating a moment, âSo⌠you know who George Jones is?â He asks. You shake your head, a smile on your lips. âNo, canât say I do. Who is he?â
He smiles softly too, at least you think itâs a smile. âHe was a country singer⌠Old country singer from way before you were even a twinkle in your mamaâs eyes. Has a lot of sad songs, which I like to play, I guess. But uh⌠'was just wondering if you knew his music. I'll play one of his songs for you.â You nod curiously, adjusting your body to give him your full attention.
The song starts off slow, his fingers moving expertly along the frets of the guitar, rough voice singing low.
âHe said, âIâll love you till I dieâ. She said, âYouâll forget in timeâ. As the years went slowly by, she still preyed upon his mind.â
Your eyes widen at the lyric's, realizing Joel was probably right. This was a sad song. You werenât expecting him to sing either. But you didnât mind it. It was really nice actually. It was so melodic and entrancing, you don't take notice of the dust of pink that kissed the apples of your cheeks.
You sit and listen to him perform through this song that breaks your heart and he finally gets to the chorus.
âHe stopped loving her today. They placed a wreath upon his door. And soon theyâll carry him away. He stopped loving her today.â
You suck a breath quick breath, feeling your vision blur as he finishes the song. By the time it's over, your head rests in your palms against the arm of the couch, watching Joel intently as tears pool in your eyes. Joel stops, placing his hand against the strings as he looks at you, his own eyes widening at the shimmer in yours.
âWait-whatâs wrong, darli-â
âHe died?â You exclaim emotionally, a tear slipping out. âThat song is about a man who loves this woman even though theyâre not together anymore but only stops âcause he dies? And she goes to his funeral?â Your eyes close as you sit up. Those welled up tears falling against your cheeks. âThatâs so sad."
Joel chuckles softly, setting his guitar against the end table. âI did tell you I like to play them sad songs, did I not?â
âYeah, but I didnât think it was sad like that. Like, maybe it was about a man losing his horse. Or selling his tractor for a new one. Not about loving his soulmate and then dying!â You cry.
ââm sorry, darlinâ. Didnât mean to make you cry. Just thought you might like it.â He says apologetically, passing you his handkerchief from his pocket.
âNo, no. I did like it. Youâre talented, Joel, I just⌠damn⌠that was so⌠sad.â You sigh as you take the handkerchief and wipe your tears before letting your hands fall into your lap. âSorry, I didnât mean to cry. Iâve just⌠had a day.â
Joelâs eyebrow quirks, âThat Luke boy of yours being a brat?â
Your eyes snap to the older man and you nod slightly. âI mean, kinda. Heâs just⌠been on one lately. I think itâs the stress of moving here so quickly. I mean, we uprooted our whole lives and moved here within a week of Karla passing. Itâs been a lot for both of us.â You breathe out. You hadnât mentioned your frustrations to anyone, but it felt good to say something. Youâd been keeping it in too long for your liking.
Joel sighs knowingly, âYeah, I can imagine. Packinâ up your life then moving to a place youâve never been before. Itâs gotta be hard.â He pauses for a moment, debating his next words, âUh, Karla loved her nephew⌠But Luke would come here during the summer when he was little, and he was uh⌠quite the handful to say the least. Seems like he still is.â Joel reaches for his glass of what you assumed to be whiskey or bourbon based on the color, the ice in the cup long melted as the condensation trickles down the sides. You pause for a moment, watching him sip on the liquid, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. You suddenly felt parched too.
âI mean heâs stubborn, sure⌠but he has good moments. I wouldnât have married him if he didnât.â You say quietly, your voice trailing off.
Joel eyes you for a second and hums in acknowledgment. âI didnât say he didnât have his good moments, darlinâ.â
You bite your lip after he says that. You didnât need to justify anything to him. It was just⌠habit. You'd always stood up for him. Luke was a good guy. You thought so at least. Maybe others didn't.
He sets his glass down on the table next to him and looks up to the clock. It reads just past one in the morning. âWell, I donât mean to be a bad host but itâs gettinâ late. Donât want your husband thinkinâ you gone missing on him, huh?â
Your eyes widen as you realize the time and you stand up, adjusting your nightgown again. âNo, youâre right. I lost track of time. And honestly Luke might throw a fit if he wakes up and Iâm not there.â You hover around the couch for a moment longer before heading towards the door. Looking back at Joel, you notice him looking right back at you. âThanks for playing me some music. It was a well needed peaceful moment after my day. Even if you made me cry.â
Joel letâs out an amused breath, âYeah, well, donât get used to no personal concerts. It was a special occasion tonight for your first night here. Alright?â
âGot it. Thanks again, Joel. Iâm sure Iâll see you soon. Have a good night, okay?â You say as you wave and make your way back to the house, feeling slightly better than earlier. Joel nods at you, watching you make your way back inside before he shuts his own door, sighing to himself and shaking his head.
As you reach the house and shut the back door behind you, you realize you still had Joelâs green handkerchief, gripped in your palm. A sigh leaves your lips as you make a mental note to give it back to him tomorrow after washing it. You tuck it away in the laundry basket by the door and then head upstairs, making sure to be as quiet as possible as you slip back into bed. Luke turns in his sleep; throwing am arm over you. Itâs comforting. Something he hasnât done in a while. You smile as you begin to drift off, feeling safe in your husband's arms. As sleep beckons you, you donât even realize how your thoughts drift back to your time with Joel. The way his fingers strummed against the guitar, and the way his low voice rasped the sad words of that George Jones song. Or the way he looked at you, his eyes locked on to yours as tears welled up, the softness his molasses-colored ones held.
About a month passes of the farm life and itâs really not so bad. Yeah, you kinda hate the smell that lingers from the barn, and you hate that damn rooster that crows every morning at 6 on the dot. But other than that, it hasnât been too bad. You even learn thereâs a local grocery store up the road a couple miles and although the prices are up charged a bit, youâre able to get your comfort bag of Hot Cheetos here and there.
Luke has been an asshole still, sadly. Especially now that heâs working remotely, and the internet out here sucks. And now that youâre not working, since you had to quit your job before moving here, there isnât much for you to do to pass the time.
Your days consist of cleaning the house, doing laundry, napping on the green velvet couch Karla had as old soap operas play in the background. You like to walk around the property sometimes, finding that being around nature isnât horrible. The sound of the leaves shaking with the wind and the crickets by the creek in the back have become relaxing to you. Who would have thought?
What really has been getting you by however, is baking. Karla had dozens of cookbooks from the 60âs and 70âs all filled with interesting, and sometimes disgusting recipes. In the last month youâd made maybe 10 loaves of bread, such as pumpkin, zucchini, banana, apple cinnamon, and even an olive and ham loaf⌠that one was a fat no. Youâd made different small cakes and tarts and while they all never went to waste; Luke never tried them. Every time youâd knock on the door with a small plate of whatever youâd made, heâd scowl, turning his nose up and then look back at his computer. It was disheartening.
But today was going to be a good day. Youâd pulled your latest creation out of the oven, filling the kitchen with a sweet, homey scent. You couldnât wait to try it. Immediately, you stuck your fork into it and then into your mouth. Despite the molten filling singing your taste buds, your eyes shut in pleasure. It was fucking delicious. Beaming down at your treat, you decided to cut Luke a slice of your very first ever, homemade cherry pie. You were so proud of it. The crumb had the perfect texture, the cherry filling had the perfect amount of tart to sweet ratio, and even the lattice was perfect, a little heart placed in the middle. You knew he was probably not going to want it, but you were going to try anyways.
After climbing the steps to where he was, you tapped against the wood of the doorway, plate and pie in hand as you smiled warmly, âHi, honey. I made this cherry pie and itâs literally the most amazing thing Iâve ever made-â
âI donât want any.â Luke says, cutting your sentence off. You falter a moment, but you know if he tried it, he would love it. He loves cherries.
âI think you should just have a bite! Iâm telling you; youâll like it.â You offer, stepping closer to him.
Luke sighs and you know heâs about to give you an earful, âI said I donât want any of your damn pie,â He seethes, âYou offer me everything you make, and have I accepted it once?â
Your cheeks heat up as tears prick your eyes and you kind of regret even trying to ask. You want to respond and yell back but you also donât want to argue. You donât know where your sweet, loving husband went and it hurts. Luke turns in his computer chair and his eyes are glazed with venom as he stares you down, âSo, stop asking me. I donât want them. You shouldnât even be eating that shit anyways, youâre getting fat.â
Luke turns back to his computer and begins to click at the keys, clearly done with the conversation. You grip the plate in your hand, biting back the tears that threaten to spill as you go to leave the room. As soon as you step out of it, Luke shuts the door behind you. Your heart clenches in your chest as the tears fall. When did he become so cold? What had you done to make him do a 180 like this? How can you fix it? Or is it even fixable?
Questions swirl through your mind as you pad down the stairs, feeling small and wanting to coil into yourself but as you enter the kitchen, you notice Joel has stepped in. He sets the basket of a dozen or so eggs on the counter as he does every Tuesday. His eyes glance at the pie and then up to you, concern etching into his features.
Joel doesnât want to ask whatâs wrong, just cause you two still donât know each other that well, but itâs like he canât help himself.
âWhatâsâa matter, darlinâ? Everythinâ okay?â He asks, eyes set tightly on your face.
Your brows knit together as you swallow back the burn of more tears in your throat and you nod, âYeah, Iâm okay. Donât worry.â You say as you set the pie on the counter. Joel eyes it and he can feel his stomach begin to rumble. You notice his gaze on the pie, and you canât help but smile. Letting out a breathy laugh, you allow yourself to relax a bit in his presence. He radiates this genuine aura, and you canât help how it attracts you to him like a moth to a flame.
âYou like pie?â You ask curiously.
Joel nods, âYes, maâam. Cherry is my second favorite, next to pecan, of course.â
Without hesitation, you push the plate over to Joel on the other side of the counter, âHelp yourself. Luke doesnât want it.â
Joels eyes widen in confusion, âHow can a man deny a woman a slice of her homemade cherry pie? He on a diet or something?â He asks as he takes the plate and fork, diving right in. You shrug at his words, not caring anymore. You watch Joelâs reaction as he takes his first bite and itâs⌠something.
He chews for a moment, his eyes closing as his free hand grips the counter, âDamnâŚâ He breathes. He goes in for another bite, bigger this time. You can feel your heart jumping at his reaction. He must like it.
âIt taste okay?â You ask nervously, picking at your fingernails. He looks at you dumbfounded, like youâd asked him the silliest question in the world.
âDarlinâ⌠does it taste okay? Have you tried it yet? Jesus, girl⌠best damn pie I have ever had.â He says quietly, stuffing more pie into his mouth.
You let out a breath you didnât realize you were holding and smile wider, âDonât lie to me now, Joel.â
Joel shakes his head quickly, finishing off the big slice, his fork clanging against the plate. âNaw, I wouldnât lie about a good pie. A damn good pie at that. Iâd tell ya if it tasted anything less than decent.â
You canât help the dumb grin on your face as he hypes your sweet treat up. Itâd been a while since you got any sort of praise from anyone, and it felt nice. Your cheeks tinge with a dusty rose as you lean over, cutting the rest of the pie into slices. You save yourself one and hand Joel the rest. His eyes widen at the offer, taking the pie pan in his dirty palms.
âItâs yours. Iâm really glad you enjoyed it, Joel. Iâve been baking up a storm this past month Iâve been here, and Iâve been the only one eating them. I donât need a whole pie to myself. So, itâs all yours.â Your gaze is soft on Joelâs face, and it causes his chest to stir with something heâs not so sure of.
He clears his throat, looking back down at the delicacy heâs holding. âYou sure âbout that? I donât wanna be no pie thief just âcause you know I think it tastes good.â
A genuine laugh escapes your throat, causing his to restrict, âNo, I donât think youâre a pie thief. Youâre really doing me a favor by taking it off my hands. Iâm glad itâs going to someone who will enjoy it.â
Joel nods, gripping the pie pan in his hands as he looks down at it. He looks anywhere besides where you stand. âWell, âpreciate it. Youâre about as sweet as this pie is, I reckon. Lukeâs got a good girl on his hands.â
Your shoulders fall as he mentions Luke and you know they shouldnât. Even the thought of him right now fills you with intense sadness, but you push it away, nodding at his words. Joel clears his throat again, before finally looking back up to you, âWell, thank you, darlinâ. I will enjoy every bit of this pie and bring the pan back when Iâm done.â He turns to leave, but looks back for a moment, âAnd if you decide to ever try and make a pecan pie⌠you know where my door is.â He smiles, walking out the back door.
You find yourself reeling from the interaction and you try and convince yourself it was only because he loved your pie. It wasnât the way his eyes closed as he savored his first taste, or the way he practically moaned in delight after every bite he took. And it definitely wasnât the way he gripped the counter, the pie leaving him speechless, or the way youâd thought maybe thatâs what his hands would look like gripped around your waist or thighs as he⌠your eyes widen at your thought process, and you run up the steps to jump in the shower, hoping to wash away the impure thoughts about a man who isnât your husband. Even as you make an excuse for every thought that pops into your head about Joel, you canât ignore the beat that drums between your legs, no matter how hard you try. No matter how hard you scrub at your skin, itâs like those images have been imprinted in your mind. Fuck.
After a long shower, a full skincare session and getting dressed in your comfiest jammies, you head back down to the kitchen to eat your slice of pie, only to be met with Luke eating it instead. His eyes wide as you walk in, mouth full of cherry filling.
âBaby, this⌠you outdid yourself. This is fucking good.â Luke says, a soft smile on his face. Your stomach churns as he speaks, and usually youâd be happy he was finally giving you attention. But not this time. Instead, you were pissed he ate your only slice of pie.
âDid you eat the rest of it? I need another slice. Iâd skip dinner for that.â He says as he nearly runs to the fridge, searching for the remainder of the pie.
âI gave it to Joel. He brought in the eggs and said it was one of his favorites. I didnât think youâd want it since you know, you said you didnât.â
Luke sighs, âYou gave it to Joel? The whole pie? You know I love cherries, why the hell would you do that?â
Your eyes widen in disbelief, anger filling your body. âLuke, you said yourself you didnât want any. I didnât want it to go to waste and that slice you just ate was mine. You didnât even ask!â
Luke rolls his eyes, slamming the door of the fridge, âI donât need to ask you what I can and canât eat. Make another pie.â He says as he walks past you, mumbling something about how he canât believe youâd give another man something before him. He was unbelievable. You grab the plate heâd left on the counter and toss it into the sink, not caring if it breaks or not. You breathe out from your nose as you rest your palms against the cool marble counters, your jaw clenched tight as your foot taps against the tile. You donât know how much longer you can take this attitude of his.
Deciding you need a distraction; you head down to Joelâs. His door is shut, but his porch light is on. That doesnât deter you though. As you walk on to the creaky wooden porch and knock, you can feel your anger dissipate from your body. The distance from Luke was good.
Joel opens the door only a moment later, his eyes confused but his mouth upturned into a smile. âHey, darlinâ, what are you doinâ here?â
âDo you have any more pie?â You ask. Your question takes him off guard, but he nods, stepping aside to let you in.
âI got a few slices left. Gotta be honest with you; I had one or two more when I got back in an hour ago.â He says sheepishly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. You turn to face him, your eyes looking into his. Joel feels his chest fill with that same thing he felt earlier. Something he still couldnât place.
âLuke ate mine. I⌠I really wanted a slice, but I gave you the rest. Heâs mad at me âcause I gave it to you.â You say as your shoulders fall. Joel laughs, his eyes crinkling at the sight of your slight pout. He thought it was cute.
âMad, huh? Over a pie? Canât say I blame him though. It is pretty damn good.â Joel heads into another room for a moment, which you assume is the kitchen because he comes back to the living room with a big slice of your cherry pie in one hand and a glass of milk in the other. âSit.â he says, nodding to his couch.
You sit in the same spot you sat in the last time you were here, resting back against the cushions as Joel places the food on a TV tray and sets it in front of you. The little action has your heart racing. Something as simple as getting served a slice of pie sends your heart into a tizzy and you sigh, digging into the dessert. It was damn good.
Joel sits in his rocking chair, just like last time, but doesnât say anything. He lets you eat in silence and once youâre done, he takes care of it too.
You donât want to leave yet, and as you pull your knees up to your chest, you hope he doesnât ask you to. Joel returns a moment later, a glass of water for you and a glass of that same amber liquid for him. He smiles, handing you the glass, âYou look comfy.â
Your cheeks tint a shade of pink, and you take the glass from him, âI am comfy. This couch is nice.â
âHope so. Iâve had it for probably 15-20 years. Itâs well-loved for sure.â Joel says, sitting back in his rocking chair and sighing. Your eyebrows quirk as you rest your cheek against your knees.
âMan, youâve really been here for a long time then, huh?â
Joel nods, looking at you getting comfy on his couch. There goes that feeling he canât place. âYeah, âbout 25 years at this point. I was 25 at the time I started here actually. Karla didnât even own the place yet, it was her daddyâs. Once he passed, she took over and I stayed. She tried to convince me to stay, but she didnât have to do that. This was my home at that point too.â He pauses, sipping his drink. âShe was a good friend. Wasnât too much older than me.â You listen intently as Joel speaks, not knowing any of this.
You nod, âWow, I had no clue. Karla seemed like a good woman.â
âShe was. Had her issues as we all do. But I enjoyed her company. But⌠here I am 25 years later. No kids, no wife. Just all these damn cows and chickens and horses. Donât tell Estrella I said that.â Joel says, mentioning one of the cows in the barn. You laugh, telling him a quick âof course notâ.
A comfortable silence falls between you two for a while. Itâs only then you notice that Joelâs record player is going, playing some soft country song in the background. You breathe out, your eyes growing heavy. Your mind drifts back to Joelâs words. No wife, no kids. Heâs been alone the last 25 years?
âSo⌠You said you donât have a wife or any kids? Any particular reason?â As you ask this, regret fills your body. Itâs probably a sensitive subject for Joel. God, you are such an idiot-
âNot really. Just⌠never found the time.â Oh.
You nod again as he speaks, waiting for him to continue. âI wanted to at one point. Itâs kinda hard to date when the only people around you are a lesbian or⌠furry. Donât get me wrong⌠Iâd find myself up at Jimmyâs old bar and maybe meet a girl, take her home for the night⌠but it never went further. You kinda lose track of time after a while. Then 25 years pass and youâre pushinâ 50 and itâs like⌠damn. Whereâd the time go?â
Your heart breaks as you hear his words, but you can also understand. Time does move quickly and if you donât pay attention, you lose it.
âHmm⌠well, donât give up hope. You never know what could happen.â You say with a soft smile. Joel laughs again and you canât say that you hate it. Itâs nice.
âWhat?â You laugh along with him, âYou donât know what could happen! You could always try a dating site. They have that farmers only website which might be really good for you.â
This makes Joel laugh louder, âSweetheart⌠a dating website? I donât even have a smartphone, how do you think Iâd manage that? And while itâs nice you got this sort of hope for me; I donât mind being alone. Easier this way.â He trails off, both of your laughs dying down. You stare at Joel for a long time. Every fiber of your being screams to touch him or hug him⌠kiss him. Thereâs something about him that makes you just long for him. To take care of him. To show him what itâs like to be loved.
You try and pull yourself from your thoughts and as you go to say something, you hear your name being called from the house. Luke. Your eyes close as your stomach drops, not wanting to face reality. You sigh as you stand up and stretch, smiling anxiously at Joel who stands with you. He looks into your eyes, his sad, deep baby browns piercing at you and it takes your breath away. Not realizing it, you reach for him. You pull him against your body as you hug him. He freezes in your embrace, not sure if he should hug you back. But after a moment of contemplation, he throws caution to the wind and wraps his arms around you, holding you tight against him like he didnât want you to go away. Like he wanted to keep you here with him. Safe in his arms.
The hug was too brief for your liking. Joel steps back first, holding you at arm's length in front of him. Luke calls your name again and you groan. You look up to Joel once more and smile. âThank you for the nice conversation today⌠and the pie. I really did outdo myself, huh?â
Joel smiles back and nods, âDarlin, you put your whole damn foot into it. I canât wait to eat another slice tomorrow. Or before bed. Who knows.â
You laugh before stepping towards the door, casting Joel a quick look and then heading back up to the house.
You feel so light and giddy from the conversation with Joel, you donât even mind the scowl on Lukeâs face as you reach the porch. âWhy were you at Joelâs?â He asks, following you through the back door to the kitchen.
âI had a piece of pie. Since someone ate mine.â You reply, taking your shoes off.
Luke rolls his eyes, âJesus, cry me a river. So glad youâre so close with that old man that heâd spare a piece of his precious cherry pie for you. I mean, fuck. Heâs probably loving the attention heâs getting from you. Half his age and conventionally pretty. Iâm sure heâs eating that up.â
This makes you snap.
âAnd so, what if he is?! God forbid someone feels good from getting some attention. Weâre just talking either way, so I donât know why this is such an issue for you. Itâs not like you talk to me anymore anyways.â You seethe as tears begin to well. You sigh in frustration, hating how emotional you get when angered. Lukeâs eyes soften and his shoulders fall.
âNo, youâre right.â He says, causing your eyes to widen. âIâve been neglecting you. Iâve been so stressed with work; Iâve lost sight of whatâs important to me and thatâs you, baby.â He continues. You feel something flutter in your chest, but you canât tell if itâs hope or disgust.
Luke approaches you slowly, wrapping his arms around your frame as he lowers himself to your height. He peppers your face in kisses and while you donât stop him, you donât necessarily enjoy it. âBaby⌠Iâm so sorry. You can forgive me, right? I swear Iâll change my ways. Iâm gonna get out earlier, help make dinner and clean up then I can hold my sexy wife on the couch while we watch that trashy TV show you like. Just like we used to in the city. That sound okay?â He smiles, looking into your eyes.
You avoid his gaze for a moment before deciding to look. You can feel your heart begin to soften for him again, even if itâs slight. Which leads you to nod, causing him to break into a huge smile.
âThank you, my love. I donât deserve you.â He says, leaning in to kiss your lips. His kisses are rushed and urgent and his lips are chapped but too wet. You try to ignore it as his hands slide down your waist to your ass, squeezing the pajama covered flesh. You hum against his lips as your brows knit but Luke takes this as a sign to go further. You donât have the heart to tell him no.
He leads you upstairs to your shared bed, taking your comfy pajamas off and placing you against the mattress. The next 20 minutes are filled with over-the-top grunting and touches that are too rough and once he finishes, not caring if you did or not, you roll over and force yourself to sleep. Your mind races with thoughts of Joel. His chocolate eyes, his pouty bottom lip and the way his fucking body felt against yours this evening. It was a hug. A hug! And that one instance had you nearly foaming at the mouth for more. You donât try to push your thoughts away this time. In fact, you welcome them. And after a while, your body begins to relax enough to finally drift off.
The next few weeks are filled with much of the same. Lukeâs promise to change falls through, of course. The only thing that does change is his desire for you. Itâs like all he wants to do is touch you and it drives you insane. You thank God youâre on birth control, because if you were to get pregnant with his child right now⌠you donât know what youâd do. Probably keel over and wait for death.
Joel is one of the only things getting you through the days. You bake a new treat almost every day, not even bothering to ask Luke if he wants to try them anymore. Instead, you take them straight to Joel. His reactions never fail to amaze you. Cinnamon bread topped with streusel? 10/10, no complaints. Jalapeno cheddar sourdough? Sent from God himself. Pumpkin cinnamon rolls with homemade cream cheese frosting? Crafted by the hands of the divines, infused with holy nectar. And he acted that way. He was visceral in the way his body reacted to the desserts and baked goods and the pride it filled you with was something else entirely. His groans of pleasure, the way heâd lean over just slightly. The way heâd look at you and youâd swear his pupils would dilate. It just⌠did something to you.
It was your routine. Wake up, make something delicious, go to Joelâs and eat and talk for a while, then head home before Luke gets done with work and pretend to be a happy wife. It was exhausting in that sense. You think you were happy in some way, but not because of your husband.
You donât even know when the dynamic changed. Maybe it was when Lukeâs busy season started. And busy he was. Heâd even have to go into the office for a few days at a time and since it was so out of the way, heâd just get a hotel room in the city. You found yourself looking forward to his time away from the farm. Away from you. The days where you got to be you, and where you got to pretend you werenât tied to this piece of shit husband. Where maybe you were single and enjoying the company of a man who seemed to be genuinely interested in you.
You found yourself doing other things for Joel besides giving him sweet treats here and there. Some days youâd get up when that rooster would crow and brew a pot of coffee, bringing it to him in a thermos as Fall came in full force. Or there were days where youâd pack him a lunch and bring it to the barn or stable and even eat with him while he tended to the horses, cows and chickens. You liked it. No, you loved it. You loved the simplicity of spending time with him. He was grateful for everything you said and did, and he showed that back.
Dryer crapped out on you? Joel can fix it. Pipe burst in the kitchen sink? No worries, Joel has it. The leg on your favorite dining chair is loose? Hell, Joel would probably build you a whole new set for the table.
You two were close. And when you say close, you meant it. You talked about everything under the sun. Your hopes and dreams, your fears, even the totally irrational ones. You remember laughing until you nearly peed your pants when you found out Joel was scared of mushrooms. He defended himself by saying how they grow from decay and thatâs what freaked him out the most. Plus, they tasted bad. You couldnât argue with that. You hated mushrooms too.
He never judged you and you never judged him. It was refreshing. Easy.
It was day two of three that Luke was supposed to be away for work, and you were living the high life. You slept like a rock in your shared bed, getting to actually sleep in the middle of the king-sized mattress and not tucked away into the corner, trying not to touch him. When you thought about it, it was pretty sad because when did you grow to not want your husband anymore? But youâd save those thoughts for another morning. Today was your day.
You got up at 6 am, right on the dot when that Rooster crowed, a smile on your face and spring in your step. It was peaceful getting up so early and youâd grown to love it. As you padded down the steps in the morning darkness, the sun still yet to rise, you couldnât help but feel the excitement of getting to hand Joel his morning coffee you were about to brew him. The way his eyes would crinkle as his hand would brush against yours as you pass him the thermos. Or his low, country drawl as heâd say âThank you, darlinâ. Much obliged.â
You knew thoughts like this while married werenât great and you did have some sort of guilt but with the way Luke had been acting over the last few months, you honestly didnât care that much.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the kitchen as you filled the thermos to the brim. No cream, no sugar. Black. Extra strong. Just how Joel liked it. You closed the container, setting it on the counter before heading back upstairs to change for the cold morning and then you were on your way down the hill to Joelâs house.
His front porch light wasnât on, which was out of the ordinary, but you knocked anyways. After waiting a few moments and no response, you decided to peek through the window only to be met with nothing. No lights turned on and the house was seemingly empty. Your shoulders slumped as you wondered where he could have been.
You walked around the property, checking the stables, the chicken coop, and there was no sign of him there. Last place to check was the barn which maybe you should have checked first, but oh well. Once you reached the weathered building, you pushed the doors open, noting a light on towards the far wall on the right. âJoel?â You called out.
You heard rustling as he stepped on the hay on the barn floor and shortly after, he appeared from the pen he was sitting in. His face lit up at the sight of you causing your breath to hitch and your stomach to flip. You matched his smile and walked towards him, meeting him halfway into the barn.
âMorninâ darlinâ. This for me?â Joel asks, pointing to the thermos.
âYou know it is. Black coffee delivery for Joel.â You say with a playful smile, lifting the thermos up for him to grab. His grin widens, taking it from you. Your usual brush of the hands sends electric currents to every nerve ending in your body.
âThank you, sweetheart. Much obliged. You always make my morninâ coffee perfectly. Like my own lilâ star-biz or somethinâ.â He says, opening the tin up and taking a big sip. You laugh at the mispronunciation but you donât have the heart to correct him. That damn blush was clear as day. It seems to tint your cheeks permanently these days.
âGod, I miss Star⌠biz... Overpriced. But you havenât lived until youâve had an iced peppermint tea and their pumpkin pepita loaf.â You say with a playful smile.
Joel rolls his eyes as he opens the thermos and sips it, âPepita? Theyâre just making up words at this point.â
âJoel, a pepita is a pumpkin seed.â You grin. Joel feels that familiar bloom in his chest and he sighs as his cheeks grow hot. He mumbles something about how he knew that and how he was just trying to be funny, but you know better. Joel shuts the thermos and takes in your face for a moment. The way your eyelashes brush against your cheeks as you close your eyes to giggle and shake your head at him nearly makes him dizzy. He clears his throat, time moving normally again as he grabs your hand and pulls you to the back of the barn. âCâmere, wanna show you somethinâ.â
Now, itâs your turn for your face to burn. Your heart races as his hand grips yours tightly and youâre not sure what to expect. But when he pulls you into the pen, and you see Estrella laying there, you settle down.
Joel drops your hand and squats down next to her, rubbing her back softly. The way heâs so incredibly gentle makes you smile. You squat next to him, following his hand and petting her too. âSheâs so soft⌠been here on this farm for a few months now and this is the first time Iâm really getting to pet her.â
Joel smiles too, his eyes watching your hand. âBetter be soft with that damn $60 shampoo I use on her.â Joel pauses, moving back to the wood bench against the barn wall. âSheâs about to give birth. Probably in a couple hours âer so.â He says, rubbing his tired eyes.
You look at Joel in surprise, âWhat? I didnât even know she was expecting. Did you tell Luke?â
Joel nods, âMhm. Told him when yâall got to the farm. Not surprising he didnât say anything though. Not like he takes care of the animals. Or⌠anything around here.â
Itâs true. Luke didnât take care of anything around here like he told his family he would. And well, neither did you, but in some sort of way, you liked to think you took care of Joel. Luke took care of the bills though, for the most part. He paid⌠the electric bill, you think? The rest was pretty much paid for thanks to the house having been paid off decades ago. You sigh, deciding to sit next to Joel on the bench.
âSorry⌠weâre bad farm owners, arenât we?â You ask. Joel closes his eyes and smiles, breathing out a breathy laugh and you canât help but smile too.
âMaybe a little. But thatâs okay. âLeast youâre pretty. Real nice to look at and such.â He slips, his brows shooting up into his hairline as he flushes.
You almost miss it. You almost miss him calling you pretty until it reregisters in your mind, and you swear you can hear your heart pounding in your ears. You donât say anything for a good moment, not knowing what to say. Silence fills the barn, despite the sound of Estrella breathing heavily through her labor pains. Or maybe those were yours.
Itâs like your body ignites, and you desperately want Joel to touch you. You donât have the energy to fight the guilty thoughts of how you shouldnât be thinking these things about another man that isnât your husband. You donât care anymore. But that doesnât mean youâre going to act on it. You nod slowly, still not sure what to say, but you know if you donât put some distance between the two of you; youâre gonna break.
You stand and wipe your sweaty palms on your leggings before turning at Joel and smiling softly. âIâm⌠Iâm gonna head inside for a bit, get some laundry done. Let me know if you need any help with Estrella, okay?â You donât wait for Joel to respond as you head towards the barnâs entrance. Desperate to get away, you pick your steps up, but Joel has other plans. You only get halfway across the barn before he grabs your hand once more and you donât pull away.
You utter his name softly, and Joel canât help the way it makes his heart race and his pants tighten. Your fingers feel smooth against his rough, calloused ones and he squeezes them slightly. His breathâs come in heaves and you find yours to be matching. Youâre terrified to turn around, but his other hand touches your hip, urging you to face him. So, you do.
âJoelâŚâ You say again and itâs like music to his ears. His big hand grips at your waist desperately, like he doesnât want you to leave. Like youâll disappear. His other hand drops your own and finds solace on the other side of your waist. His gaze is intense, but you donât dare look away now.
ââM sorry.â He says, causing your brows to knit.
âWhy?â
âFor callinâ you pretty.â He speaks. You can tell heâs nervous. You can tell by the slight twitch in his hands as his fingers fight the urge to dig into your skin. Or the way his voice trembles. It makes you want him to take you right here and now.
âWhy would you be sorry about that?â You ask, finding yourself slipping closer and closer into him.
âShouldnât be callinâ a married woman pretty. Shouldnât be touchinâ her like this neither.â Joels hands squeeze again slightly, and you practically moan. Your lips part as that familiar ache continues to build between your legs and you donât know how much more you can take.
âWell,â You begin, debating your next words carefully, âMaybe a married woman shouldnât be letting a man thatâs not her husband call her pretty or touch her like this⌠but here we are.â
Joelâs lips quirk up softly, pulling you closer to him. His firm chest presses against your breasts and the close vicinity begins to drive you crazy. You take a slow and steady breath, trying to calm your nerves but then one of Joelâs hands leaves your waist and runs up your neck to your cheek. Your eyes donât drift from one anotherâs, but it doesnât make you feel small. Not like how youâd feel under Lukeâs gaze. You feel empowered. Like Joel actually wants you. Because he does.
Joelâs chest rises and falls as his hands caress your jaw, his thumb padding over the delicate skin of your cheek. You instinctively lean into it, pressing against his palm as your eyes close. Joel fights every urge to lean in and kiss you, but he wonât yet. You havenât given him the okay.
Your hand comes up, gripping around his wrist as you hold his hand to you. You donât want him to move it. He wasnât going to anyway. Your eyes flutter open and see the desire written all over Joelâs face. A small puff of air escapes your mouth, and you pout.
âWe shouldnât be doing this, huh?â You ask, your voice tiny and worried.
Joel sighs too, blinking a couple of times. âNo, probably not. Shouldnât be touchinâ you like this, but, Jesus⌠donât know if I can stop.â He pauses for a moment and when you donât say anything and you donât move, he speaks again. âPlease⌠tell me to stop.â
Your heart lurches in your chest and you suddenly lose the ability to speak so you just shake your head instead. Your other hand rises to meet Joelâs neck, and you pull him in closer to you. You feel his breath on your lips and it smells like coffee. You catch yourself relaxing as your eyes trail down to Joelâs mouth. Youâve never wanted to kiss someone as bad as you do him.
âPlease⌠baby girl⌠tell me to stop.â He asks again and you shake your head once more, this time words find you. Well, word.
âNo.â Is all you say and Joel practically groans. His hand on your hip pulls your body flush against him, fully pressed against his frame. Your eyes widen as you feel his length press against your leg and your breath catches in your throat.
âGonna tell me to stop, now?â
You gulp.
â⌠No.â
Joel nods as he realizes this is happening. He leans in closer, âOkay. Can I⌠kiss you?â
Your eyes widen only slightly as you think it over. You want him to kiss you more than anything but once you do, itâs over. The line will have been crossed. Youâll be a cheater. But the way heâs looking at you, and the way heâs asked so nicely⌠you couldnât say no.
âYes.â You breathe.
âOkay.â He mumbles, wasting no time to press his lips against yours.
Joel is an intense man, and his kisses are no different. His movements are desperate and hungry, like heâs a man starved. He probably is. Itâs been so long since heâs felt the touch of a woman. But you donât mind it. In fact, you welcome it. He kisses you with such need it takes away and oxygen in your lungs. Like heâs been thinking about doing this forever. Maybe he has, you donât know.
Your arms wrap around his neck as his hand at your waist holds you still, the one on your jaw trails down to your hip. He guides you backwards, your back meeting the wall of the tattered barn. Youâre trapped between the two, but you have no time to think about that. You think about how perfect his lips feel against your own and how smoothly they move with yours. How natural. You donât realize the tiny whimpers that escape your lips until Joel pulls back, grunting softly.
âBaby girl⌠fuckinâ hell. Those sweet noises youâre makinâ are gonna drive me crazy.â He huffs against your lips, making sure heâs not away from them for too long.
Your tongues tangle and your mind goes blank. You taste the bitter black coffee on him and it becomes addicting. You donât even like coffee. Your head spins and reels and you find yourself slipping which you donât mind. Joel could fuck you on this dirty barn floor and youâd thank him as you picked the hay out of your hair later. But he doesnât want that. He doesnât like you slipping away from him. He parts your legs with his knee, his thigh resting between them so he can prop you up. So you canât go anywhere.
His fingers glide under your sweater, seeking the warmth of your skin. He trails his cold digits up your tummy until they reach your bra. But he doesnât go any higher than that. The chill of his hands leaves a wake of goose bumps, causing your nipples to harden and youâre practically moaning at this point. Heâs barely even touched you.
âPlease⌠Joel, please.â You beg. âPlease, fucking touch me.â
Joel keels over slightly, pressing you against the wall even harder. âFuck⌠want me to touch you, baby? Where? Tell me.â
âAnywhere.â You rasp, feeling more desperate than he is at this point.
Joel laughs softly, âUh-uh⌠gotta be more specific.â His fingers trail further down, tracing random shapes around your navel.
You groan, feeling helpless. You want him everywhere. You want his fingers in your mouth, or his mouth on your breasts, or his cock stuffed inside you. Fucking anything.
Joel smirks again, raising his knee up higher until he hits your core. The small bump of his thigh against your clothed pussy pulls another whimper from you and it sparks something inside Joel. âLike that, darlinâ? Like when your cunt rubs up against my thigh like that?â
Words fail you again and you nod, your hips instinctively bucking against it.
âThatâs it⌠usinâ me like that. Makinâ yourself feel good for me. Let me see you move, pretty girl.â
Joel steadies you as you begin to rock your hips against his thigh. You ignore the way your panties stick to you and the way your leggings are just soaked at this point. Youâre sure if you were to look down at Joelâs jeans, youâd see evidence of it all there too.
He moves his hands again, trailing one back up to your bra and slipping underneath it. He grabs at your breasts, his grip needy and clumsy. It brings you back to reality for a moment as you giggle. âJoel⌠calm down. Iâm not going anywhere.â
Joelâs face reddens and he slows his movements, his thumb padding over your hard nipple. âSorry, baby girl⌠Itâs justâŚâ He sighs, leaning down and kissing your lips again. Itâs soft and sweet and all too quick. âItâs just I donât know if Iâll ever get this opportunity again. Donât know if Iâll ever get to touch you like this. Like I been wantinâ.â
Your heart swells as you look up to Joel, a goofy smile plastered on to your face. âLike youâve been wanting? And how long has that been?â You ask, pulling him back down to you to smooch his lips. He sighs, closing his eyes and savoring your affection.
âSince the night you showed up to mine in that silk nightgown of yours.â Joel mumbles against your mouth, pecking you slowly and languidly. Itâs almost disorienting as he does it over and over again. Finally, after a moment he stops. âYou looked so fuckinâ beautiful that night. Sweaty, nervous, lilâ irritated. I wanted to kiss your lips as soon as you sat on that couch of mine. But I needed to kiss you the moment I saw them big alligator tears wellinâ up in your eyes when I sang you that George Jones song. Never seen someone so pretty cryinâ like that.â He utters, nuzzling his nose against yours.
You canât speak. You feel like all the air has whooshed out of your lungs as you look into Joelâs eyes. Theyâre dilated. His eyes are usually dark but theyâre almost black at this point. Your arms stay firmly planted around Joelâs neck, fingers lacing through the soft curls at the bottom. Heâs nervous again. You donât want him to be.
âJoel⌠you telling me you want to do this again then?â You ask, pressing a tiny kiss to the tip of his nose. He closes his eyes and sighs.
âBaby⌠I want to do this and so much more with you. I want whatever you want to give to me.â Another peck to your lips. âAs long as itâs with you, I want it.â
âWell, what do you want right now?â
âI want to make you come.â
Your eyes widen slightly at his words, mouth going dry. His hand on your hip urges you to start moving again. To start fucking yourself against his thigh. You listen.
Your hands trail from his neck to the front of his jacket, gathering the fabric in your fists as you hold him close. Your hips start to buck once Joel pushes his knee up to the perfect height, his thigh settled in between your folds. You begin to rock back and forth, the lack of distance between you two causing the most delicious friction. Your clit presses against the fabric, and you moan softly, whimpering his name and you swear itâs like heâs heard the voice of God himself.
âFuckinâ music to my ears. Best song Iâve ever fuckinâ heard. Donât stop. Keep goinâ, my sweet girl.â Joel says, leaning down to tangle his tongue with yours again. You moan into his mouth, your hips bucking faster as you chase that high thatâs embarrassingly close. But the way heâs talking to you, the way heâs touching you so intimately, and the way your clit is pressed perfectly up against his thigh, you never stood much of a chance to begin with.
âJoelâŚâ You whisper, your voice shaking.
âI know, baby, I know. I got you. FuckâŚâ He hushes back. This is clearly affecting him too. You look down at where your bodies connect and sure enough, the leg of his jeans is soaked, but to the right, just where his groin sits, another wet patch is forming. Itâs small, but itâs there. Your breath catches as your head falls back slightly, allowing Joelâs lips to attach themselves to your neck. He tongues the skin up and down your pulse point, not daring to leave a mark. Yet.
âTaste so good. Bet the rest of you tastes even better. Fuck, Iâm gonna be addicted. Already am.â Joelâs words push you closer and closer, your hips rocking back and forth quicker. Pretty little whimpers fall from your tongue as your fists ball tighter against his jacket. Joel moans too, his grunts getting louder, more animalistic.
âJoel, âm gonna⌠gonna come.â You manage to get out. Joelâs hand on your hip reaches around to the small of your back, coaxing you to ride faster, harder. His other hand drops from your bra, pulling your head to his so he can kiss you through it.
âGo ahead, baby. Come for me. Fuck-â Joel mumbles against your lips, swallowing the little noises you make. Heâs acting like heâs not too far behind as well. Youâre not even touching him and heâs on the verge of coming. Just by making you come.
With your hips moving just a few more times, the coil in the pit of your stomach begins to snap, your eyes shutting tightly as you see white, hot lightning behind them.
âGod. Oh, fuck. JoelâŚâ You murmur, your head falling forward to bury your face in his chest. But he doesnât allow that. Joel grabs your hair from the back and tugs it softly, wanting to see your face as you come.
âThatâs it. My pretty girl, holy fuck. Ah, shitâŚâ He grunts, his breath stuttering as his own head leans into your neck. His grip on your hair and waist becomes a vice, holding you to him as you think he finishes in his pants.
You breathe heavily, coming down from your high as you pull back, Joelâs grip on you lessening. His face is beat red, and he canât meet your gaze.
âJoel, did you- did youâŚ?â You ask cautiously, eyes shining with amazement.
Joel grunts again, one of his hands coming up to wipe his brow. âShit, yeah. I did.â His gaze finally meets yours and you break into a grin, letting out a breathy laugh. He smiles with you, âGot me feelinâ like a damn teenage boy over here. Canât believe I did that.â
You shake your head, still smiling. âDonât go feeling embarrassed on me, Joel. That was⌠the hottest thing Iâve ever seen in my life.â Your words are quiet, but you mean them. Eyes trailing down to where the small wet spot on his crotch used to be, now a bigger patch. You canât help but run your fingers over it. Joel groans softly, leaning slightly into you from how sensitive he still is.
âBaby girl⌠watch it.â He stumbles, his breath picking back up.
You smile, âWaste it was in your pants⌠should have been inside my mouth. Or my pussy.â You donât know where your confidence comes from. Maybe itâs because you made a grown man come in his pants just by watching you come on his thigh. But, nonetheless, youâre feeling good.
Your fingers continue to tease the wet spot on his groin, and you find yourself wanting to taste him. No, needing to taste him. Joel catches on to your thought process and even though he feels like he might pass out with how badly he needs you; he pushes through.
âWanna taste, darlinâ?â He hushes; lips pressed to your jaw. You nod.
âPlease, Joel?â You ask in a small voice, the desire in it setting him alight.
It causes Joel to almost whimper, and he pulls back. His thigh drops from between your legs and the wet spot thatâs accumulated on your leggings goes cold. You shiver slightly, missing his heat against you. Joel watches you for a moment before sighing. He wants to continue. He wants to fuck you in this barn and make you his, filling your sweet pussy up with his seed. Maybe knock you up so you can never leave him. Joel knows thatâs not an option, but fuck, does he wish. He knows needs to cool it down a bit.
âYou should head inside, take a shower er somethinâ.â He speaks. Your brows knit together, shoulders falling slightly. You donât want to leave his side. You donât want this moment to end.
âIâll be in in a bit. Donât wanna be away from you for too long.â Your heart races at his words as he steps closer, placing his hands on either side of your cheeks. He leans down, kissing you deeply. It takes your breath away. Itâs nothing like youâve ever felt before, and it scares you. You can absolutely see yourself becoming addicted to this. You probably already are.
âGo to mine. Shower there. Iâm gonna check on Estrella and then Iâll be in, okay? Wonât be away too long.â He says, backing up. You nod, muttering a quiet okay.
As you walk out of the barn, casting one last glance in his direction, he smiles. Your throat restricts and you march on forth to his little house on the property. All thoughts of Luke and your marriage are gone. As far as you were concerned, you were Joelâs. If he wanted you, that is. But you had an inkling there was a very good chance that was the case.
You reached Joelâs home and let yourself inside. It was funny to you he said to shower here when your house was only up the hill. But you werenât going to deny him that. Plus, this was a good chance to look around the place. Youâd only seen the living room which is crazy cause you were here often. You walked through the entrance, taking in the familiar plaid covered couch and the record player towards on the opposite side of it. Many mornings were spent here with Joel just chatting and laughing, listening to his collection of different records. Most of them were older county artists but you knew Joel was partial to 90âs alternative like Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters. Which surprised you, but it also made complete sense.
Stepping forward, the door off to the left of the entrance was slightly open. Curiosity piqued so you glanced in. His bedroom. Your eyes widened slightly, opening the door a bit more as you gazed around the neat room. His bed was the only thing unkempt. No clothes littered the ground, his self-care items which consisted of a jar of lotion, deodorant and probably a 15-year-old bottle of cologne were aligned neatly on the dresser. You smiled to yourself, shutting the door as you continued your trek to the bathroom. The hallway only had two doors and one opening which led to the kitchen. You assumed the one at the end of the hallway was a closet and upon opening it, you were right. So, the room next to it was the bathroom. You grabbed a towel and on you went.
Pale teal tile floor with weathered white walls. The tub was a weird shade of green which seemed to be a common theme among the property. Must have been Karlaâs favorite color. It was small and cozy, like the rest of the house, and it filled you with comfort you hadnât felt in months. You were in Joelâs space and it all just felt so him. You really could get used to it all.
Pulling back the translucent white shower curtain, you noted Joel had actual shampoo and conditioner and not a 3-In-1 like Luke used. Fuck, he even had body wash. You smile again and turn the hot water on before pulling the drain to let the shower run. It felt so good to strip out of your wet leggings and the rest of your clothes and it felt even better stepping into the steaming shower. Near scalding water cascaded down your back and you hummed in delight, letting it soak your skin. This was nice.
As you reached for the shampoo, deciding it was best to get the barn smell off you, you hadnât noticed someone stepping into the bathroom with you. As you hummed to yourself, lathering the tea tree scented shampoo, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Your eyes widened as you jumped with a yelp, turning slightly. Of course it was Joel.
âJoel! Jesus, you scared me.â You breathed.
Joel smiles, âSorry darlinâ. You were too busy humminâ and using up all my shampoo to notice. This uh, this okay?â He says, nodding between the two of you. You nod back.
âYeah, yeah⌠âcourse it is.â Realization sets in that youâre naked in the shower with Joel right now. Yeah, heâd made you come on his thigh in the barn, but this was a whole new level. Joel notices your nerves and he kisses your shoulder.
âDonât gotta do nothinâ, sweetheart. Just wanna be by you.â He speaks.
Your heart melts and you nod, relaxing into his touch. You turn in his arms and breathe out a laugh, âWant me to wash your hair?â
Joelâs eyes widen slightly, and he pauses before nodding. âOkay, go ahead.â
His arms fall from around your waist, but he doesnât stop touching you. His hands linger around your hips and tummy, fingertips grazing the soft skin like heâs addicted. He is.
You reach for the shampoo, squirting a little in your hands and lathering them until theyâre sudsy. Joel dips his head under the water, wetting his hair and you reach up, rubbing it through. Itâs intimate in the way his eyes close, his hand planting against you, holding himself still. You canât help but look down and see heâs hard, but he doesnât make it a big deal. You wouldnât have known if you hadnât looked.
âOkay, letâs rinse you.â You hum softly.
He leans forward, the water flowing on to him as the shampoo falls into the drain. You wash it until the water runs clear and then wipe his face so when he opens his eyes, he doesnât get anything in them. Your heart pounds at how personal this is; how close he is.
You take in every detail on his face, like his little sun freckles and his deep-set lines in the corners of his eyes. He has long eyelashes that droplets kiss and you feel like youâre in a daze. He has a scar on his nose and the most kissable bottom lip and the most wonderful facial hair-
âDarlinâ?â Joel says, eyes locked on to yours, âYou okay?â
Your eyes widen and you canât help the giggle that escapes your lips before blowing a raspberry, âOops, you caught me. Youâre so pretty I got caught up.â
Joel laughs and trails his hand up your waist, right under the swell of your breast, âPretty? First time Iâve heard that one, I think. Not nearly pretty as you are, though.â He grins.
Your eyes roll, âSo cheesy.â
âYeah, I know you like it. Canât deny it by the cute lilâ blush of yours. You always look so damn happy to see me.â Joel says, his other hand cupping your jaw as he looks into your eyes.
You swallow harshly, unable to look away. âThatâs because I am always happy to see you. I like you.â
âI like you too,â He breathes, causing your heartbeat to stop in your chest and start somewhere else, âA whole lot.â
Silence fills the bathroom despite the sound of the water thatâs now going cold. Joelâs thumb caresses your bottom lip for a moment, and you think heâs going to kiss you.
âLetâs finish up. Waterâs growinâ cold on us. I wanna get you all warm and snuggled up.â
âIn your bed?â You ask, eyes wide.
âYes. In my bed.â
âOkay.â
You heart reignites as the beat in your pussy quickens. Joelâs hands roam your body, lathering both of you in the sea salt scented body wash before rinsing you off and stepping out of the shower. He wraps you in the plush gray towel after drying your hair a bit. You donât have to do anything. Itâs⌠surreal. Youâve never had this kind of care and attention.
You follow behind Joel shyly, almost intimidated by the intimacy of it all. Both of you are towel wrapped and damp as you step into Joelâs room. He switches the bed side lamp on and you hug the towel closer to you as you watch Joel move to rummage through his drawers. He grabs you a big shirt and a pair of his boxers, slipping on some himself. All this is done in silence, and it scares you how comfortable it is. How natural.
You walk over to the bed, getting dressed in Joelâs clothes as you sit on the edge, waiting for him to do anything. To say anything. He doesnât for a while.
Finally, Joel turns to face you, a small smile on his face. âWhat ya so quiet for?â
You shrug, biting back the grin that fights through. âI dunno⌠Iâm a little nervous I guess.â
Joelâs eyebrow quirks, nodding slowly. He makes his way next to you and sits on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips and you look over to his face. Heâs just so fucking handsome.
âWell⌠what do you think youâre nervous about? Luke finding out?â He asks, his voice gentle.
You shrug again, âMaybe. But that wasnât my first thought.â
Joelâs eyebrows knit together, âThen what was?â
A long sigh escapes your mouth, and you look away for a moment before looking back, âWhy does this all feel so natural with you?â
âWhat do you mean?â
You sigh again, âI mean⌠we just showered together, and you were hard the entire time, but you didnât even kiss me. You dried my hair and my arms and legs when we got out and then wrapped me in a towel. You gave me your clothes to wear to get comfy in bed with you and neither one of us batted an eye at how smoothly it flowed. Itâs⌠weirdâ
âItâs weird?â He asks, reiterating your words.
âWell, not weird. But also, it kinda is. Iâve⌠I guess Iâve just never had that, so I donât know how to react.â You say nervously. You decide to keep your eyes away from Joel as everything begins to feel too much.
He nods, humming softly, âSo, youâve never took a shower with Luke before?â
âI have, of course. But itâs always involved sex. Itâs never washing each other's bodies and not even kissing. You touched my ass only to wipe the soap off it.â You say humorously.
Joel laughs, âWhat, did you want me to leave it there?â
Your eyes roll and you shake your head. âThatâs not the point. Why is it so easy with you?â
Joelâs eyes soften and he shakes his head himself. He looks at you in your body, clad with his white fruit-of-the-loom t-shirt and faded red boxers and he shrugs. âDonât know, darlinâ. I really donât.â He leans in as he sees your shoulders fall and he brushes some of your damp hair behind your ear. âNot everything needs to make sense. Or needs to be made sense of. Sometimes itâs just how it is.â
He leans in and presses a chaste kiss under your ear and two more along your jaw. Your eyes close as you breathe out, savoring his touch. His lips trail down to your chin and along your neck before pecking their way back up. Before his lips can meet yours, you speak. âAre we bad people?â
âNo.â he says, no hesitation in his voice as he kisses the corner of your mouth.
âBut Joel-â
âBut nothinâ,â Joel says pulling back slightly, âYou are not a bad person for not being in love with your husband. Heâs⌠He doesnât treat you well, baby girl. Thereâs been so many nights Iâve heard him hollerinâ about things to you from all the way down the hill. Heâs distant, he doesnât give you the attention you deserve, and heâs a fuckinâ child in a man's body. You hear me?â He huffs, sitting back up and running a hand through his hair. He looks back down to you, your gaze still anywhere but him.
Itâs silent for a while, this time less comfortable. Joel breathes in, his chest tightening with nerves. âLeave him.â He speaks. Your eyes widen and you stare at him for a long time, mouth open in shock. Leave him? What?
âJoel, you donât know what youâre asking.â You say, he scoffs.
âYes, I do. Leave Luke.â He rebuts.
âAnd what? Be with you?â
âYes. Would that be so bad?â
Your eyes widen again, and tears brim your lash line, âNo. It wouldnât be.â
Joelâs lips form a thin line, âThen leave him.â
You sigh, your eyes closing. You canât leave Luke. Where would you go? You have nothing without him. You donât have a job, you donât have a car, youâre in the middle of nowhere. Luke wouldnât sign the divorce papers too, youâre sure of it. Heâd throw a fit and then convince you to stay and youâd give in, living out the rest of your days unhappy with a man you canât stand.
You stand up, a single tear rolling down your cheek. Joel panics and grabs your hand, holding you from going anywhere. His chest tightens and his eyes widen. You canât go. Not yet anyways. He just got you.
âBaby, please⌠Please. Stay with me. Just for now.â The desperation in his voice is palpable and you falter immediately.
âI wasnât going to leave, I just⌠I needed to do something. Iâm anxious.â You say, your body twisting to face him.
Joel stares at you, his grip on your hand unrelenting. The way your eyebrows are tense in the middle has him anxious too. He pulls you to him with this gentleness that makes your body cave. You find yourself on his lap, hands on his chest as he holds you to him. Your eyes linger on your hands and then the expanse of his torso. He doesnât have a shirt on, and you hate how distracting it is. How wonderful the hair that litters his skin feels against your palms. The swell of his pecks and how soft yet firm they are. His heartbeat in his chest thatâs going two hundred miles per hour and how you find yours to be matching.
Joel brings one of his hands up to your head, moving the hair from your face.
âLook at me,â He breathes. His tone is light and almost like a whisper, âPlease, my pretty girl.â
âYour pretty girl?â You ask, gaze meeting his. The corners of his eyes crinkle slightly as he grins.
âYes. I donât care what you say, darlinâ. I donât care if you leave Luke or stay with him. Youâre mine and I⌠I reckon youâve been mine for a long time now.â
Your eyes close and you nod, leaning your head on Joelâs shoulder. Heâs right. Itâs been a few months of you and Joel getting to know each other better but every day you find yourself slipping more. It was only a matter of time before this happened. Before both of you fell completely.
It was crazy to you. Yeah, you felt guilty for it in the beginning. Guilty for the way youâd go to bed and dream of how youâd get to see Joel the next morning. Guilty for the way youâd wake up early and make coffee for another man while your husband slept peacefully, oblivious to your feelings. Only kind of guilty for the times Joel would be busy, and you couldnât bother him. So, youâd slip into your bedroom and touch yourself to the memories of his voice and laugh and the way he looked at you; the way heâd hug you before heading out to do his duties. But never guilty for how intoxicating you found him to be. How addicted you found yourself to be.
âYeah⌠I think so too. Guess youâve been mine for a while too?â You ask, your nose prodding his collarbone softly. He smiles, his hand on your waist trailing to your ass and squeezing it slightly, pulling you closer.
âBeen yours longer than you been mine, thatâs for sure. I wanted you that first night you guys got here. Looked so fuckinâ pretty.â He mumbles, turning his head into your hair. He could live here like this forever and be happy. Heâd never asked for anything, never want for nothing. Just being with you here on this farm. He was convinced thatâs what heaven looked like.
âJoelâŚâ You whimper at his words, one of your hands trails up to his neck as your lips find it too. You press them against his skin, eliciting a hiss from him. His hand grips your ass harder, spreading your cheeks slightly.
âYeah, baby girl? Feelinâ needy?â He asks, burying his face into the side of your head. You open your mouth, tongue snaking out to taste him. You want to mark him, have him wear your sigil around the farm. Not like anyone would see. Luke probably wouldnât even notice.
Your lips plant themselves around his skin, sucking slightly and nipping at it. Joelâs breath catches in his throat, and he stutters, âJesus fuck- darlin'. What do you think youâre doinâ?â he asks, eyes shut as he leans his head back, granting you better access.
You hum, continuing your assault against his neck. Below you, Joelâs cock grows, poking against your thigh. You place open-mouthed kisses, and little love bites up to his jaw before pulling back to look at your work. You grin, eyeing all the small red marks beginning to darken. Joel shakes his head smiling, dilated eyes locked on yours. âBetter hope your no-good husband donât see these.â
You smile back, âHe wonât. Heâs too fucking oblivious. He doesnât even know his wife is in their bed touchinâ herself to another man every night.â
This knocks the wind out of Joelâs lungs completely, his eyes widen, and you think he might actually black out for a second. You steady him with a small grin, shaking his head a little. âYou okay?â
It takes Joel another couple seconds to respond, blinking back his glazed over eyes, âOblivious to what, darlinâ? To his wife doinâ⌠what?â
You laugh, leaning down to peck the tip of Joelâs nose, âYou heard me, Miller.â
âI donât think I did, pretty girl. Think you should say it again so I can make sure I heard correctly.â He says, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you flush against his erection. Your walls part, feeling the hardened length against your core through his boxers.
You canât think straight as the sensation of Joel gently rocking his hips upward sends you feral. Your grip on him tightens, âI-I said⌠Luke is too fucking oblivious to the fact that Iâm touching myself to the thought of you every night. I make myself come every night to the thought of you and what it would be like for you to fuck me. How it would be to have your cock stuffed inside me. That clear enough for you?â
Joel huffs, his cock twitching against your heat, âClear as crystal, baby girl.â His lips connect to yours and it takes your breath away. Youâve said it before, but Joel is just so intense. His kiss is powerful and full of force and itâs utterly intoxicating. You donât want it to end, but Joel pulls back.
âWanna know somethinâ?â He asks. You nod. âYou know how many times Iâve touched myself in the last few months to you?â
Your eyes widen as you bite back a smirk, deciding to relax more into his touch. You place your weight on his lap, his cock bumping your folds in a way that makes him groan. âYeah? You been touching yourself to me too, Joel?â
âYeah. Touched myself that first night you came here. When I say you looked so fuckinâ pretty cryinâ like that⌠I meant it. You went back up the hill and I sat right there in my chair. Couldnât get out of my jeans fuckinâ fast enough. You got no idea the effect you have on me, do you?â Joel says, nuzzling his nose against yours pecking your lips in sequence a couple times.
You feel drunk. Thatâs the best way you could put it. You felt drunk on Joelâs needy hands and sinful words, and youâd be damned if you didnât keep on drinking.
You gulp, âWhy donât⌠why donât you show me just how much I affect you then.â
Joel looks into your eyes, looking for any reservations but he sees none. He feels a lump in his throat form, and he really doesnât want this to end. A part of him wishes Luke would just not come back. Thatâd he stay far away and leave this farm and you to him. He takes care of both better than anyone else could, especially that poor excuse of a man. Joel wouldnât admit it out loud, but he wouldnât mind if Luke just up and died. That way he could never interfere again. As far as Joel was concerned the farm was his, and so were you. It made sense to him. Just as the sun comes up in the morning and sets at night. You were Joelâs and he was yours.
âShow you? Want me to show you how much I want you? How much I fuckinâ need you, sweet girl?â He asks, voice dripping with lust. You nod, words failing you. Seemed to be a common theme around him.
Joel smiles, âOkay, my baby. My pretty girl. Youâre mine, arenât you, darlinâ?â
You shudder out a breath, his possessive words going straight to your core, âJoel, yes. Iâm yours.â
Joels grip tightens and has you grind down against his cock thatâs so painfully hard, âOnly mine? No one else?â
You moan, a real moan and it has Joel reeling. âOnly fucking yours. Please, Joel⌠I need you.â
âThatâs all you had to say.â He says as he stands up, pushing you off his lap. You shiver from the lack of heat, but he turns to you and nods to the bed, âup against the headboard.â
You listen immediately, nearly stumbling to get on to the bed. Joel follows you, settling in next to you. He covers your bodies with the comforter, and your eyebrows knit together. You watch him fluff up his pillow and then lay against it, sighing as he closes his eyes. What?
âUh, Joel? What⌠Are you doing?â You ask.
âHm? Takinâ a nap. Iâve been up since four in the morning, darlinâ. Olâ Joelâs tired.â He says, eyes closing again.
You laugh, âWhat? But what about-â
âIn a couple hours, weâll get up. I'll check on Estrella, come back here, and Iâll make you dinner. Then after itâs all said and done, Iâll fuck you. Real good too.â
Your breath catches and you nod, âOkay.â
Joel extends his arm to you, and you lean into him. You place your head on his chest, his arm wrapping around you and holding you to him tightly. He didnât want you to go anywhere. You werenât going to.
It was crazy to you how quickly you fell asleep. As soon as Joel started to rub the skin on your forearm and his breathing began to even out, you were knocked. It was a quick nap, probably only an hour instead of the couple he promised. But you didnât mind. Just meant you were closer to him fucking you.
Joel wakes up first, breathing out heavily as he moves from under you, trying so very carefully not to wake you up. But as soon as you felt the lack of body heat, you were wide awake.
âWhere are you going?â You mumble, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Joel smiles, slipping on his jeans and a shirt.
âGoinâ to check on Estrella. She should be havinâ that calf any moment at this point.â He leans down and kisses your temple and then your cheek and then your lips. You exhale, loving the affection. You kiss him back, humming against him.
âLet me go with you.â Your words are quiet as you feel yourself fighting sleep, your body slumping into Joelâs bed. You couldnât help it. You were surrounded by his scent and the lingering warmth from his side of the bed. It was all so nice. So Joel.
He chuckles, âNah, baby girl. Get some more rest. Iâll be back in a bit, okay? My pretty girl needs her beauty sleep.â
You feel your lips quirk up softly, yawning a quick âokayâ before nodding back off.
Itâs another few hours before your body decides itâs time to get up. As you sit up in Joelâs bed, noticing the sun going down, you hear pots and pans clanging around in the kitchen. You decide to try and gather your bearings and go check it out. The walk down his hallway is short, but you can hear him mumbling something to himself and it has you smiling. Joel is placing a pan onto the stove when he sees you from the corner of his eye. He smiles, âMorninâ, darlin. Bout time you woke up.â
You yawn, stretching slightly, âI know. Iâve been sleeping all day. I have no clue why Iâm so exhausted.â You make your way over to Joel whoâs lighting the burner on the stove. You wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into him, still feeling the lingering effects of your long nap. Joel chuckles, kissing the top of your head.
âStill sleepy, baby? I guess thatâs what good orgasms do to ya, huh?â He teases you. You can feel your face flush as your mind travels back to your time with Joel in the barn and you smirk.
âGuess so. Wouldnât know. Never had one until then.â You say as Joel moves from you to the fridge, inspecting it for ingredients.
âThat so? Well⌠Looks like Iâm gonna have to keep âem coming.â He smirks. His eyes scan the content of the fridge and there really isnât much. He clears his throat. âSo, I know I promised you dinner. But I havenât been able to head up to the market for a bit. I could probably throw together some omelets. Cheese and⌠bacon? Everythinâ else is in the freezer. Itâd take too long to dethaw at this point.â Joel speaks, picking up a paper sack of what he thinks is the bacon.
You watch him raid his fridge and then you clear your throat as the lightbulb in your head goes off. âThat doesnât sound too bad. But think I have a better idea.â
Joel looks over to you, shutting the fridge before crossing his arms, âOh yeah? What do ya got in mind?â
âI went up to Leoâs market the other day. They were having a special. Buy two get one free. So, I got a pack of almonds cause theyâre my favorite. I got a pack of macadamia nuts for cookies and a pack of pecans for your pie. The one you requested forever ago.â
Joelâs eyes widen and his face breaks out into a grin, âDessert for dinner, huh?â
You shrug, âI think itâs a good time to make it. You can help me. Ever made a pie before?â
He shakes his head, âCanât say I have, sugar. But I think I have the perfect person to teach me.â
You roll your eyes playfully, before heading towards the front door and slipping your boots on. Joel follows you.
âIâll be right back. Just gonna go up to the house and grab the stuff.â
He nods, offering help but you tell him youâll be fine. You head up the hill and in through the back door of the main house before scouring the kitchen for all the ingredients. Itâs smells like Luke in here and it makes you queasy. You pause to take a breath. Youâd really forgotten about your husband just like that. Like he was so easy to forget despite being married to him for a couple years now. You rest your palms against the counter and clear your throat as your mind just as easily drifts back to thoughts of Joel. How heâs waiting for you just down the hill. How he looks at you and how you feel around him. How he makes you feel. Happy. Safe. Satisfied. Loved. And once again, Luke is gone from your mind.
You step back from the counter and move around the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag and packing it with flour, sugar, corn syrup, cream, butter, and vanilla.
Soon enough, youâre back in the kitchen with Joel, laying out all the ingredients and getting to work. You start on the crust, combining the flour and butter into a crumbly dough and then let it rest for a bit in the fridge while you start on the filling. Joel helps you measure out the sugar, cream, and corn syrup while you crack the eggs into the bowl. You work together seamlessly, and he follows your instructions to a T. You bite your lip in concentration as you mix the pecans into the filling, folding them in delicately.
Joel watches in admiration, his eyes grazing over your face and then your body which is covered with his clothing. His. It makes his chest swell with affection and he canât help himself from leaning over and kissing you.
The kiss takes you by surprise, but you return it immediately. You hum against his lips and place your hand on his cheek. His lips move with yours for a moment and he pulls away first, leaving you in a daze. âSo fuckinâ pretty.â He hushes; his eyes still closed. You lean in and press another kiss to his bottom lip and he smiles.
âOkay, letâs finish this damn pie.â You speak. Your body feels light and fluttery almost. Itâs like you donât know how to handle all of this. All of this affection. Itâs like itâs too much. But also not enough.
Joel nods, getting up to get the pie dough from the fridge. He watches you roll the crust out, cutting it to fit the pie tin, and then pour the filling into it. He watches you make a little heart made out of pecans on the top before popping it into the oven and itâs all so wonderful to him.
Joelâs never really minded being alone. He stayed busy. He had so much to do on the farm every day he really didnât have time to think that maybe life would be better spending it with someone else. He had the animals, and at one point he had Karla. Sure, he still had those nights from time to time where he craved the heat from another body in his bed. Or maybe when his fist just wasnât enough and he needed that slick, wet heat his hand couldnât offer him.
But now, as he watches you move around his kitchen, baking him his favorite pie, doing the dishes, he canât imagine it any other way. He knows heâs in too deep. Youâre a married woman and he knows that, itâs just heâs fought his feelings for a long time and now? He doesnât give a damn. He wants you. Heâs convinced he needs you. If you were to leave him to go back to that piece of shit husband, he doesnât know what itâd do to him.
Joel stands from the small dining table in the kitchen and makes his way to you. Youâre stood at his sink, scrubbing at the dishes you used for the pie. He comes up from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. Your heart races at the action and you breathe out a small, âHi.â
âHi.â He says back simply, his eyes closing.
You peek at him from the corner of your eye and smile, âFeeling sleepy?â
He nods, ââLil bit. Was stressinâ over Estrella but she finally got that calf out. Both of âem are resting now.â Joel presses tiny kisses against your neck, and you sigh, savoring them.
âThatâs good theyâre both okay. I want to see the baby.â You say, turning off the water and turning in his arms to face him.
âYou can. We can go see âem tomorrow morning. That sound okay to you?â
You shake your head yes, looking into Joelâs eyes, âSounds fine to me.â
The smell of fresh baked pecan pie wafts through the kitchen and your eyes light up. âI think the pies done. Shall we take a look?â You ask.
âWe shall.â Joel counters with his country twang and you giggle.
He opens the oven and you slip on the mitt before pulling the pie out and setting it on top of the stove. âNow we have to let it cool.â
Joel sighs impatiently, âLet it cool? We canât cut into it now?â
âNo, I mean, unless you want hot pecan sugar soup. It has to firm up!â You say, turning the oven off.
Joel groans playfully and you shake your head, âYou can wait twenty more minutes, okay?â
He rolls his eyes but nods, âYeah, I guess youâre right. Iâve been waitinâ months anyways so whatâs another twenty minutes?â
âExactly.â
Joel moves to the sink to finish up washing the dishes while you poke and prod at the pie making sure it firms up okay. And after cleaning the kitchen, putting away the ingredients into Joelâs cabinets, and a little make out session, twenty minutes have already passed.
You pull back from Joel, his lips following yours as he isnât quite ready to stop yet. You hush against his mouth, âJoel⌠you know what time it is?â
âHmm, time for me to keep kissinâ you?â He asks, pressing his lips to yours again.
You hum, pushing him back, âPie time.â
Joelâs eyebrows raise, ââFuckinâ finally.â
The two of you gather around the stove as you stick your knife into the pie and cut it into 8 big, individual slices. You take Joelâs plate and serve him first then dish up yours as well. Once back at the table you wait for him to take a bite, anticipating his reaction as nerves settle in your tummy. Itâs his favorite pie so this is a big deal.
Joel sticks his fork into his slice and then into his mouth. You watch him closely as he chews a few times, anxiety creeping from your tummy to your neck. But then, his eyes close and you swear you hear him moan.
âJesus fuckinâ Christ.â He utters, his mouth still full of the pie.
Your eyes light up and you smile, âIs it good?â
Joel looks at you from the corner of his eyes and then back down to his plate, immediately shoving another bite into his mouth. He doesnât say anything. Even when his first slice is gone and even when he finishes another one. He goes for a third and you stop him, grabbing his wrist gently.
âJoel, baby⌠calm down. Your pie isnât going anywhere.â You laugh.
Joel clears his throat, a hint of red on his cheeks, âI know, darlinâ. But you think that cherry pieâa yours was good? This could win contests.â
Your eyes roll and you shake your head, âYouâre just saying that. You always hype my food up. It canât all be good!
Joel looks at you incredulously, âIt canât all be good? Are you kiddinâ me? You havenât made a bad thing yet. But this? I might need one a week. Maybe two.â
You laugh, finally taking a bite of your own slice. You were too entranced by his display of gluttony to even try it yet. But fuck, once you had a taste, you knew he was right. Your eyes fluttered shut as you savored the nuttiness from the pecans and the caramelized sugar, âOkay, youâre right. This is better than the cherry pie.â
âPecan is always better than cherry. But you know what would taste even better?â He asks.
Your eyebrows knit together as you take another bite of pie and look at Joel, âHmm?â
âYou.â
You choke on your bite of food and look up at him, smiling as a blush creeps onto your cheeks. Joel smirks, pushing his plate aside and leaning over the table to look at you. You lock eyes for a moment, unspoken longing simmering between the both of you and without words, you both stand up. Joel grabs your hand again and pulls you back down the hallway to his room. That nervous feeling settles in the pit of your stomach again, but you push it away. Images of Luke flash in your mind from before; when he loved you. When you loved him. It was almost annoying at this point. Why did you keep thinking of him? Itâd been weeks if not months you had any sort of romantic feeling for him and while you supposed some guilt still did linger, you absolutely didnât mind the way your body thrummed with desire for Joel.
Joel doesnât bother shutting the door behind him. Itâs not like anyoneâs gonna hear anything or walk in on you, which at this point, you didnât really care if they did. After this day of touches and kisses and teasing, you needed all of him.
Your body shook with nerves and adrenaline as you stepped in to Joelâs room with him. It was really going to happen. You were going to fuck this man youâd be pining for for months. Joel on the other hand, was calm and collected. He walked over to his bed, peeling back the covers before stripping himself of his shirt and unbuttoning his jeans. As he pulled the zipper down, he looked up to you, a soft smile on his lips.
âGonna get in bed?â He asks, nonchalantly as all hell.
You twiddle your fingers as you sway from one foot to another, âI dunno. Do you want me to?â
Joel looks at you and rolls his eyes, âDarlinââŚâ he begins, but you cut him off.
âYou gonna fuck me?â
Joelâs smile drops ever so slightly, thinking of what to say next. But it comes back as quickly as it disappears. âGonna be disappointed if I donât?â
You bite your lip and shrug slightly. Joel laughs, âIâll take that as a yes then. Come âere. Itâs been too long since Iâve touched you.â
âYou were holding my hand like maybe 2 minutes ago.â You grin softly, climbing into bed with him. His arms wrap around you, pulling you on top of him. He grunts in satisfaction as your body weight settles on his lower tummy, hands planted firmly at your hips. His thumbs rub tiny circles into your skin as he pushes your shirt over your head, exposing your bare breasts to the cold air in the room. Your nipples harden instantly and your lips part, a short puff of air escaping them. Joelâs eyes dilate as he rakes them over your skin, his hands inching up your torso until they meet the swell of your breasts.
âSo fuckinâ pretty⌠canât believe you want me.â He mumbles.
You scoff, a smile on your face, âWhat do you mean by that?â
Joels thumbs pad over your hardened nipple, causing your cunt to throb. Your hands plant themselves against Joelâs chest, your fingertips weaving between the hair that litters it.
âWhat I mean is⌠Iâm old enough to be your daddy, but maybe youâre into that. Maybe you like the idea of being with an old fucker like me.â
Your eyes roll, âYeah, that must be it. I have an old man fetish.â You shake your head and laugh, a smile on his lips as well, âBut no, Joel. I think itâs actually the fact that I think youâre amazing. You are so sweet, and kind and I donât think you realize that. I think you have this idea of yourself that youâre this rough around the edges, loner type but you arenât. Iâve never had someone be so gentle with me. It makes perfect sense as to why Iâve fallen so hard for you.â
Joelâs fingers stop as he stares at you for a long while. Suddenly, he sits up, holding your body close to him. His arms wrap around your frame, pulling you flush against his chest as his eyes donât leave yours. âPlease⌠be with me.â He speaks, throat bobbing as he swallows thickly.
Your heart stills, âI am, Joel. Iâm with you right now.â
âNo, you know what I mean.â And you do. You absolutely know what he means. He wants you to leave Luke and be his. You want to. So desperately.
âJoel-â
âNo, donât give me that. You donât love Luke. He doesnât treat you well. Donât you think being with me would be better?â He asks, his voice quiet, like heâs nervous.
âIt would. It would be so much better, Joel-â
âThen leave him and be with me-â He interrupts.
âPlease donât interrupt me. I deal with enough of that from my husband.â You say in frustration, trying to pull back from him but he doesnât let you go.
âDonât pull away from me. You donât have to be defensive with me. Iâm sorry I interrupted you. I wonât do it again, I just⌠I want you, in every capacity. I want to wake up next to you, have you make me coffee every morninâ just like you do now. I want to listen to my records with you and have you show me that Gilman Girls show you talk about all the time.â He says and you laugh softly.
âGilmore Girls, Joel.â
âYeah, that one. I want to have dinner with you and do the dishes together, then climb into bed so I can hold you, kiss you⌠so I can make love to you, and we donât have to worry about anythinâ else. Just us.â
Your heart races and you feel tears spring to your eyes, the longing he feels for you blooming in your chest tenfold. Joel is infinitely better than Luke. In every way. Heâs attentive and thoughtful and so kind it makes you lightheaded. Life here on the farm with Joel might not be so bad. You actually might enjoy it. You know you would. There wasnât a doubt in your mind. But would you be willing to give up everything for him? You sigh, and without another beat; you speak.
âOkay.â You say, wiping a tear from your cheek. âOkay. Iâll leave Luke.â
Joelâs eyes widen and his shoulders rise and fall with the deep breaths he forces himself to take, âMy sweet girl⌠you will?â
You nod, âYes. I want all of that with you. I want to wake up at 5am and help you with the chickens and tend to Estrella and her calf. I want to make you treats and fatten you up with them,â Joel smiles and you do too, âI want to lay in bed with you and talk about nonsense and touch you and love you and be with you. I want to be yours, Joel. Not Lukeâs. Yours.â
Joel can hear the blood rushing in his ears and he feels like he might actually combust on the spot. His heart races and he closes in on you. âThen thatâs whatâs gonna happen, darlinâ. Just us. Just you. Just me.â Joel hushes, his lips pressing against yours.
You move with him and somehow end up with your back pressed against his plush mattress. Joel begins to remove the boxers heâd given you to wear earlier as you reach for the his jeans, pushing them down his hips fully.
âI want you.â You mumble against his lips.
âYou have me, my girl.â He whispers back.
Once out of his jeans, Joel shimmies out of his boxers, leaving you both lying there naked. Itâs scary how real it is. Joel is going to fuck you. Youâre married and you donât care. In your mind, your relationship with Luke has been dead for a long time. You donât have an ounce of emotion in your body for him anymore and with ease, you forget about him once again.
Your attention switches back to Joel so naturally; so fluidly. His cock presses its head against your thigh. Heâs so painfully hard you have no idea how heâs restraining himself.
âNeed to be inside you, baby⌠but fuck, I wanna take my time with you.â He utters, his tone dripping with lust. His lips trail from yours to your jaw to your neck, not caring if he leaves marks or not. Youâre leaving Luke. Youâre his and heâs going to let the world know.
He moves further down, his tongue snaking in between the valley of your breasts and lower to your navel. He sucks at the skin on your tummy, marking you there as well. Another annoying blip of Luke flashes through your mind and how if he saw these marks on your body, itâd be over. Itâs over anyways. Those thoughts go as quickly as they came when you realize Joel has buried his nose in the small tufts of hair that litters your skin down there. Heâs like a mad man at work, huffing his way down to your folds and breathing in.
âGood God, sweet girl. Needâa taste so bad. Smell so fuckinâ divine I could lose it right now.â He speaks as his nose prods against your opening, his rough fingers meeting your walls to spread them open. His tongue dips in, licking against the swollen bud and it has you seeing stars. Your fingers lace into his hair as you keen into his ministrations, angling your hips up to his mouth.
His name litters the air as it stumbles out of your mouth over and over, like a mantra. Your whimpers of pleasure urges Joel to get more into it, sucking and flicking his tongue against your clit. His finger trails down, slipping into your soaked cunt as he begins to pump two of them in and out slowly.
âSo fuckinâ wet, baby⌠taste like heaven.â He mumbles, his lips wrapping right back around your bud. Your brows tense as Joel curls his finger, hitting the soft spot in your pussy. Your fingers pull his hair tighter, your mouth opening as you moan silently, your orgasm embarrassingly close. He was so fucking good at this.
âJoel⌠fuck-Joel.â
âI know, baby, I know. I can feel you clenching around my fingers baby girl, go on and let go for me.â He hushes out, his warm breath only adding fuel to the fire. Joelâs expert tongue swirls and presses like heâs dotting his Iâs and crossing his Tâs and after a few more strokes of his fingers, you canât hold back anymore.
âFuck, Iâm coming, Jo- Fuck!â You hiss through your teeth as your hands release the grip on his head and find solace on his bed sheets. Wave after wave hits you and you feel like you canât even breathe. You try and itâs like itâs stuck in your chest. Joel doesnât back down either, his tongue, lips and fingers all working away like heâs possessed. Heâs addicted to your taste, and heâll never give it up.
Your body begins to recoil away with overstimulation and once you whimper his name, he comes to. His head peeks up from between your legs and he smiles, his beard damp and cheeks glistening with your slick. It makes your heart skip a beat. He leans his head to your thigh and kisses it, breathing heavily himself.
Joel makes his way up your body, letting his weight down on top of you and it feels like bliss. Your arms instinctively wrap around his neck as you pull him to you. Your lips meet his as he lets your taste yourself on him, his tongue tangling with yours like it was with your clit only moments ago. Heâs still hard, probably even more so as you feel it press into your still-sensitive core. His tip begins to slide between your folds, and you spread your legs wider. Joel smiles into the kiss before pulling back.
âReady for me, baby?â He asks with such softness you canât believe how lucky you are to be here with him right now. You nod, your eyes opening to meet his. You want to watch him as he enters you.
His gaze is tender and full of what you think could be love. You didnât want to jump the gun and say that it was, but⌠if he said it to you, you might just say it back. His hand caresses your cheek as he watches you intently, like heâs dazed. You turn your head into his palm, kissing the rough skin. No words are said, and none need to be. Joel lets out a deep breath as his hand tucks some of your hair behind your ear before trailing it down to your leg and guiding it to wrap around his. His cock slips into you ever so slightly and your breath hitches.
âPlease, Joel⌠I need you⌠need more.â You speak; your voice hoarse. Joel smiles, leaning down and pecking your lips once more. He nods, words failing to find him now. He looks back into your eyes and pushes his hips forward. His cock sinks into you so deliciously it has you stunned. The way the girth stretches you out feels like you were made to take it. You were made for Joel; you were sure of it.
Joel, on the other hand, was a mess. When this whole thing started, he was so calm, like heâd planned this forever. Maybe he had. He didnât dare close his eyes, not wanting to miss a second of this as he pushed in further. Soft grunts escape him as he bottoms out and then holds it there, letting the both of you adjust.
âYou okay?â he asks, his voice shaky.
You nod, âIâm perfect.â
He nods back, pulling his hips back all the way before pushing them back in. He begins to find a steady rhythm, rocking against your body and thatâs when you allow your eyes to close. One of his hands meets the pillow next to your head and he moves quicker. Grunts and moans slip from him which surprise you; you didnât expect him to be so vocal. Youâre right behind him though, his name being moaned into the ether as yours drips from his mouth. Heâs already close, you can tell. But heâs trying to hold on as long as he can. He wants to savor this. Heâs scared he wonât get this opportunity again.
Joel pulls his cock out of you, his chest rising and falling as he steadies himself. You look up to him, confused as to why heâs stopped. Maybe heâs regretting it. Maybe he feels guilty for it all. You sit up on your elbows, eyebrows knit tight.
âJoel, everything okay?â
He wipes his face and nods, âYeah, baby⌠on your knees for me.â
Your eyes widen and you immediately turn around, gathering yourself on to your hands and knees to which Joel groans. He grabs your hips, pulling you against him and you feel his hard cock rut into your behind slightly. Joel brings a hand down to your ass, the smack echoing in the dimly lit room as you hum in delight.
âGonna fuck you good, sweet girl. âMember I promised that?â He says, guiding his cock back into your slick. You breathe out, arms faltering slightly as you try and hold yourself up for him.
Joel smacks your ass again, âI said, remember? Use your words, pretty girl.â
âYes, I remember.â You hiss, your pussy gripping around his length like a vice.
âFuck- r-remember what? What did I tell you I was gonna do?â Another smack, your cheeks branded with his handprint.
âAh, Joel-fuck! You-you said you were going to fuck me good. Please⌠do it. Fuck me.â You beg, your tone dripping with desperation. Joel smiles and kneads the skin heâd been rough with as he begins to pump in and out again.
âGood girl.â
He grabs your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh as he moves. He pumps into you over and over and you canât think straight. Your arms give out not even two minutes into it and your head buries itself in his pillows. Joel doesnât care; he just grips you tighter to make sure you donât get too far away.
âThatâs it, youâre takinâ it so fuckinâ good, baby. So good. So⌠mine. All mine, right?â He moans, his voice rough.
You donât respond, too busy focusing on his cock that stretches your pussy out. Focused on the way he seems to hit that one spot in your cunt over and over. He takes his hand to your ass again, this time smacking it but grabbing a fist full afterwards.
âI said, right?â
âYes, Joel, all yours! Only fucking yours.â
Itâs like music to Joelâs ears as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulling your back against his torso. His hips never stop, even as you both adjust to the new position, his left hand reaching up to your breast to squeeze and his right flying down to your clit, rubbing quick circles. He wants you to come with him and heâs ridiculously close, but so were you.
âShit, baby,â He heaves, ââM gonna cum, gonna fill you up. That okay?â He asks through his rough grunting.
You nod immediately, not minding any implications, âFuck, yes, Joel. Please. Please fuckinâ finish inside me.â Your orgasm teeters the edge as his fingers and cock assault your core, seconds from overflowing.
Hearing you beg Joel to finish inside you is all he needed to let go. Both of you cry out in pleasure as you feel Joelâs hot seed coat your walls. He fucks it further into you, no sign of him pulling out, but you didnât want him to. Your body ignites as your own orgasm hits, your pussy clenching around Joelâs cock, milking him dry. Youâve never felt this sort of electric current spread through your veins, this liquid fire working its way to every point of your body and itâs just too much.
Finally, after a few more moments of Joel thrusting; his hand on your clit seizes its movements and he pulls out. Your head falls back on to his shoulder as you try to catch your breath, body completely spent. You feel his touch graze over you skin as he trails them up to your breasts and back down your tummy, like heâs trying to map every inch of your body to his memory. Heâs so scared heâs going to lose you, and you can tell. His lips ghost over your neck and shoulders and back, while his hands palm at your skin.
âJoel, settle down.â You giggle; your eyes still closed in euphoria.
He sighs, âSorry, Darlinâ. Iâm just⌠Iâm just feelinâ you is all.â
âI know you are and thatâs okay. But weâre going to do this again, you know? Again, and again, and again.â You say with a smile as you turn to face him again. You can feel his seed begin to leak out of you and you clench, wanting to keep it inside.
âYou sure?â Joel asks, his body hovering yours as you lay on your back.
You nod; eyes heavy with exhaustion even if youâd napped most of the day. Joel relaxes slightly, easing his body down to lay on yours and it has you reeling.
âI love this feeling. You on me. Us. All of it.â Your words come out in a mumble and Joel smiles, kissing your chin and then your cheeks.
âI know. Me too.â He hums, his lips lingering over your skin as he ghosts more kisses across your face. He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. âSo, how are weâŚ? How are you⌠ya know, gonna tell Luke?â
You pause for a long time. Each second that passes has Joelâs heart racing quicker and harder. What if youâd changed your mind?
Another pause and a breath; you speak. âI⌠donât know.â
Joel doesnât move. He just lays there on top of you and lets you think a while. âHow do I tell my husband I want a divorce?â
âYou go up to him and say âLuke. I want a divorce.ââ Joel says plainly and you let out a breathy laugh.
âIs it really that simple?â You ask, your eyes meeting his.
He pauses this time, his eyes dilating as he gazes upon your face. âNo. It isnât.â
You nod, eyelids closing. âI know.â
âBut weâll figure it out. Okay? No way in hell am I ever lettinâ you go now. Iâll fight Luke for you.â He speaks. You laugh again but you know heâs serious. He would fight Luke. Heâd win too.
âThat wonât be necessary⌠but Iâd fight him too.â This time Joel laughs and leans down, nuzzling his head into your neck and wrapping his arms around your frame. Youâve never felt so safe. So loved.
You donât know when you fall asleep, but it happens. Your body melds into Joelâs and the both of you lull into a deep sleep. You donât wake up until late morning the next day. Joelâs already out of bed, probably somewhere on the farm doing his duties. You sit up, the blankets pooling around your waist when you look over to the clock on Joelâs bedside table. Itâs a quarter passed 10 already. You decide to get up, getting dressed in Joelâs shirt from yesterday and a pair of his sweats. You see an old sweater in his drawers too and you figured youâd help yourself. It is getting chilly outside after all. Plus, you had the inkling Joel was the type to like you in his clothes anyways.
After slipping on your shoes, you decided to head to the barn. He was more than likely there, considering Estrella was in active labor yesterday. The cold air nipped your nose as you hugged yourself, crossing the yard to the barn. It was open, the overhead light flipped on. You could hear humming from Joel in the distance and you smiled.
It was warmer in the barn. Joel turned the space heater on for the calf and for the mama.
âJoel?â You called out, waiting for his response.
He peeks his head around the corner, his eyes wide as he smiles to you. He steps from behind the wall, wiping his hands on a rag that he slings over his shoulder. Heat pools in your tummy as he approaches you, the simple gesture turning you on.
âHi, darlinâ. Everything okay?â He asks. You nod. âSleep okay?â
You nod again. âBest sleep I think Iâve ever had. I was so warm and cozy.â
Joel smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist, âYeah? Me too. And to think⌠weâre gonna be sleepinâ like that from here on out, huh?â
You feel your stomach coil in a way that makes you nervous. Itâs excitement, but itâs nerve-wracking. Youâre really going to have to tell Luke itâs over. Your mind swims with different ideas of ways to break it to him. Maybe you could tell him youâre actually not interested in men anymore. Yeah, that could work. The good olâ lesbian switcheroo. Or maybe you could tell him youâre dying. You could fake your death and just never have to confront whatâs really going on. You could never tell him youâre in love with another man. With someone heâs known since he was a child. You sigh as you realize you just need to tell him youâre unhappy. That you donât want this anymore⌠that you donât want him. Maybe you could even leave Joel out of it. Just tell him youâre done, that you want to go back to the city. Luke would. He wouldnât stay here. That way you could sneak back and live with Joel. But that was a longshot.
Joel notices your silence and he nudges you slightly, âBaby? Everythinâ okay in that pretty lilâ head of yours?â
Your eyes snap up to Joels, slightly widened but you nod.
âYeah, Iâm⌠Iâm okay. Just thinking of what I should tell Luke.â
Joel nods, opening his mouth to say something when the devil himself appears.
âTell Luke what?â Luke speaks, smiling at you and Joel as he steps into the barn. He must have seen you come inside it.
Your heart stills and you feel it drop to your ass as you whip around, eyes meeting his. Joelâs hands drop from your waist, and you canât even think straight. Your heart pounds so hard you feel like youâre rocking on a boat during a thunderstorm, the waves threatening to consume you.
Luke begins to notice that Joelâs hands were on you, once gripped tightly around the sides of your body, now limp at his sides. Twitching. Like theyâre aching to hold you again. He notices the clothes you adorn. Theyâre not yours and theyâre definitely not his. Lukeâs stomach drops and his smile falls, his own heart racing. Luke might be oblivious to some things, but heâs not an idiot, and he quickly pieces together whatâs happening. And then he sees the marks on Joelâs neck. And then on yours.
âWhat. The. Fuck?â He hisses. His face begins to burn red and he sees it too.
âLuke, please. Let me explain-â You begin, your voice panicked and desperate.
âOh, no. You donât need to explain. I know exactly what is going on here⌠and you know what? I just knew this was going to happen. I knew it. I had this feeling and look! Iâm right!â
Your brows knit together and you cross your arms. âLuke, what?â
Luke scoffs, âBabe⌠you donât think I havenât noticed you getting up at five⌠six in the morning to make Joel coffee? Or the way youâd bounce over to the guest house, the brightest smile on your face like you were going to see the love of your life? Youâve never smiled like that with me! If you donât think Iâve noticed that then you must be dumber than I thought you were. So fucking dumb.â
Your heart breaks at his words. You know heâs just trying to hurt you, but man does it fucking suck. You loved him wholeheartedly at one point and now you just donât know him. You havenât for months. Probably even before you got to the farm. Tears well up in your eyes as you go to say something but get cut off.
âListen here, you little shit. You will not talk to her like that any longer. Do you hear me?â Joel seethes, but Luke isnât going to back down.
He laughs, âUpset âcause I called her dumb? She just threw everything away for you! You, Joel. 50 years old and what to show for yourself? Living on a dead womanâs farm? No family, no kids. You just had to steal someone elseâs wife, huh? You know what? You can have her. Sheâs a fucking whore anyways!â
âLuke, stop.â You say, your voice wavering as you try and find it, your heart shattering at his words.
âYou little fucker. You can say all the shit you want to, Luke,â Joel begins, âBut in the end, it was me who fucked your wife, wasnât it? She had to turn to me âcause it was you who couldnât take care of her.â
You look at Joel with wide eyes at his crude words and you scoff, looking back and forth as the two of them begin to argue. They raise their voices, stepping closer to one another and it just becomes too much. You break.
âStop! The both of you! Fucking stop!â You yell, your eyes filling with tears. They spill wildly and you donât even try and wipe them away. Luke looks at you in annoyance and as soon as Joelâs eyes meet yours, heâs nervous. Heâs realized what heâs said in anger and he hates to see you cry. He hates that heâs part of the reason you are. Joel tries to reach out to you, uttering a âbabyâ and you push him back.
âNo. Just⌠stop.â You sob. Your voice is small and nervous, but you knew whatever the outcome of this was, itâd end in disaster. Itâd end in heartbreak.
âLuke,â You begin, âI was so in love with you, I mean, fuck. I married you. I moved seven hours out of the city to live in the fucking countryside with you! And not once, did you take my feelings into consideration. The more I think about it; I donât think you ever did. It was all about you. Youâve been horrible to me the last however long weâve been here-â
âI havenât been horrible to you-â
âLet me speak!â You yell back, your fists tightening into little balls. Luke rolls his eyes but shuts up. Joelâs eyes flicker down to your fists, and he physically holds himself back from reaching for them. From reaching for you. He so desperately wants you in his arms, telling you itâll be okay, thatâs heâs sorry, but he knows he canât. You wouldnât let him.
âYou have been horrible. Not speaking to me or berating me when you do. Pushing me for sex when I didnât want it. Calling me names and meaning them. âWhoreâ? Really, Luke? The venom you have in your voice when you talk to me⌠you canât deny any of that.â
Luke stays silent because he knows youâre right. He canât look at you anymore and turns his head, his eyes closing as his shoulders slump.
âAnd you,â You speak, turning to Joel, âWhat the fuck was that? Boasting like Iâm some⌠trophy? Like Iâm-â
âI cheated on you too.â Luke says. Your eyes widen and both you and Joel turn to him. âI am cheating on you. With uh, Caroline.â He says, mentioning his coworker. She was a couple years younger than you and Luke. Newer to the company. Youâre pretty sure Luke mentioned he was training her when she was hired about a year ago.
You canât say youâre shocked. You canât really say anything as there isnât much for you to say.
âSo, weâre both not innocent then, huh?â You speak. Your voice is serious and final, âLetâs get divorced. We should end this.â
Luke scoffs, crossing his arms. His face begins to falter. He knows youâre right. This should end. He wants to be bitter and petty and hurt you more, but he knows heâs hurt you enough. At one point, he cared about you too. You were the light of his life and then things changed. Work got stressful, Karla died, and his family pressured him to take the farm. He didnât want to. He has no clue how to take care of a farm, clearly. He had no clue how to take care of you. And to him, it seemed like Joel did.
âLetâs talk about this inside.â He sighs.
A couple hours later you find yourself walking out the back door of the farmhouse and down the hill to Joelâs guest house. Your cheeks are tear stained, and nose is tinged red from crying. No shoes on. The familiar ache of the cold gravel against the heels of your feet almost comforting you.
Once on the rickety porch youâd stepped on to hundreds of times before, you approached the door, rapping on it lightly. Joel only took a few moments to answer it.
âHi.â You said as you watched him. He looked nervous, cheeks pink with anxiety. Or maybe heâd been crying too. You didnât know.
âCan I come in?â You asked. He nodded immediately, stepping aside. He didnât speak though. Maybe he was too nervous to. Too scared. He was terrified this was it.
You made your way to the plaid couch youâd grown to love so much, settling against the soft cushions and breathing out. Joel lingered, standing by the door. He was unsure of what he should do next. Should he sit down? Should he reach out to you? Comfort you? Should he just get the fuck off this farm and never look back? No, he wouldnât do that. He needed you too badly.
Your reddened, watery eyes looked up to Joel causing his breath to stutter. The anxiety bubbled up from his chest to his throat and he clears it, watching for your next move. You sniffle, rubbing your eyes before holding your arms out to Joel. You needed to be held. He moved to you in lightning speed, scooping you up into his arms and cradling you delicately. Joel settles on to the couch with you in his grasp. He presses small kisses against your temples, scalp and forehead, his heart racing a mile a minute.
âIâm here, baby. Not goinâ nowhere. Not ever. You have me.â He speaks. His words are desperate and needy, like he needs to ingrain it into your mind that heâs yours. Because he is.
Joel holds you for a long time. Heâs not sure how long, but it had to be at least an hour or so. His hands rub up and down your back, tracing the curve of your waist and spine. He wants to comfort you, just like you being here comforts him.
Itâs a little longer before you speak. You sniffle and pull back slightly, looking up to him. âIâm sorry, Joel.â
His heart races again, âSorry? Whatâre you sorry for, darlinâ?â
âFor everything.â You squeek, your voice cracking. âFor getting you into this mess.â
He sighs, âBaby⌠thatâs not somethinâ you need to be sorry for. I wanted you just as bad as you wanted me. Even more so.â
You look away and blink, shrugging. âI just⌠I donât know. I donât know what else to say.â
âThatâs alright. You donât gotta know what to say. Just let me hold you, okay? Whatever happens, weâll get through it. You and I.â He says, burying his head against the top of yours, breathing in the lingering tea tree scent from his shampoo. His eyes close, heart hammering in his chest which you can hear. The corners of your lips turn upwards, tears springing to your eyes.
âAre you nervous, Joel?â
He pauses a moment before nodding. âLilâ bit. Just scared youâre gonna go away or somethinâ.â
You pause this time, your mind drifting back to your conversation with Luke inside.
âSo, sleeping with Joel, huh?â Luke says. You roll your eyes as you sit on the velvet green couch in the living room. He sits on the opposite side of it.
âSleeping with Caroline, huh?â You retort and he blows a raspberry. Thereâs a long silence before anyone decides to speak. Tears prick your eyes, and you feel yourself just wanting to run to Joel. Heâd make everything feel okay again. You wipe your eyes and Luke sighs.
âI donât know why youâre crying. This has been coming for a long time. Youâre so fucking sensitive.â He says, his tone quiet. Heâs annoyed.
âI know. It still hurts though. Sorry for being sensitive, I guess.â
Another long silence, either of you not knowing what to say. He decides to finally look at you, his eyes gazing over your features, appreciating the way your eyelashes curl and then way your eyes glisten, still so full of life and love despite whatâs going on. The last time heâs going to do that.
Luke sighs. His next words almost shock you.
âIâm sorry. You know that right?â He speaks. Your eyebrows knit and you look at him, more tears falling.
âAre you?â
He pauses again. âYes. I didnât mean to turn into such an asshole. I didnât mean to make you run into the arms of someone who could treat you better. I just⌠stopped caring. Itâs not okay. Iâm sorry.â Luke taking accountability? This was new.
You shrug, wiping your tears away. You were so tired of crying.
âWell, I appreciate that, Luke. It sucks it turned out like this. That we⌠Turned out like this.â
âSo, what should we do? What⌠do you want to do?â Luke asks. Heâs calm. Sad, but heâs calm. No more venom. Heâs ready for this to be over, and frankly, so you were you.
âI think a divorce would be best. Thereâs no love here. Not how it used to be anyways.â Which was true. Youâd always have a love for Luke even if you werenât in love with him.
He nods, wiping his nose. He wasnât a crier, but this was hard for him too. You didnât think it would be, but he was always surprising you.
âOkay. What about⌠the farm? Iâm not staying here anymore, my family will have to decide what happen-â
âJoel should have it.â You say, interrupting him. âHeâs been here 25 years. He can take care of it better than anyone in your family would. Hell, Karla couldnât even take care of it. Thatâs why she hired him.â
He scoffs, âOh, so you want Joel to get the farm so you can stay and live out your weird farm fantasy with him?â Luke spits, that venom seeping back into his words. He was always going to be like that.
You sigh, closing your eyes. âNo. Thatâs not it at all. I donât even know whatâs happening with Joel and I, Luke. I donât know where Iâm going after this. But letâs face it⌠Karla would want him to have it.â
Luke huffs and stands up, pacing the room as he thinks. Itâs another few moments before he says anything. He turns towards you, his eyes sad but he gives you a curt nod. His shoulders fall in defeat. He didnât want to fight anymore. âYouâre right. Joel should have it. Even if you decide to stay here with him. Which is insane to me⌠you didnât even want to come here in the first place.â
You nod softly, remembering those months ago when Luke told you youâd be moving here. How much you hated it. How youâd stay up at night and have panic attacks at the idea of leaving the city. Now look at you. You couldnât imagine being anywhere else.
âIâll tell my family. No one else really wanted it anyways. Not even Nick. So, itâs Joelâs⌠and⌠yours?â He asks cautiously.
âI donât know what Iâm doing, Luke. I already told you that. Weâll⌠see.â
He nods again, his shoulders slumping further as he exhales a breath he wasnât aware that he was even holding. You stand, knees a little wobbly from the adrenaline finally settling in your body.
âSo, this is it then?â Luke says, biting down on his bottom lip. You nod.
âYeah. It is.â
He looks away from you, looking anywhere besides where you stood. He knows he screwed up and he feels bad, yet a part of him feels free. He decides to step forward, awkwardly opening his arms to you and you hesitate, but you take it. The both of you have a final embrace. Itâs empty. He just feels like another body against yours. Thereâs no emotion, but somehow, itâs the closure you needed.
âSo, Iâll see ya?â Luke says, inhaling the scent of you one last time. He nearly scowls. Tea tree. He hated tea tree.
âYeah, maybe not.â You laughed, tears spilling from your eyes. You wipe them away and he smiles, laughing too.
âAre you nervous, Joel?â
He pauses a moment before nodding. âLilâ bit. Just scared youâre going to go away or somethinâ.â
You pause, slightly unsure of what to say. It makes him more nervous.
âDo you want me to?â You finally ask Joel. He pushes you back, looking into your eyes.
âDo I want you to leave?â He asks. He looks like youâve asked the silliest question in the world, but you nod anyways. He doesnât speak for a moment, trying to find the right words to say.
âIf you decide to leave, thereâs nothing I can do about that⌠but I think itâd just down right kill me.â
His words make your heart leap, and you close your eyes, not wanting anymore tears to spill. You lean forward, burying your face in Joelâs chest. His fingers lace through your hair, his whole being trying to convey the fact that he wants you to stay right here with him.
âThen Iâll stay.â You mumble into the fabric of his sweater, but he doesnât quite hear you.
âHmm?â
You peer up to him, your lashes damp as your glossy eyes look into his dark, anxious ones. It takes his breath away.
âI said I will stay. Here with you.â
Joelâs heart stops as he finally hears you and all he can do is close his eyes and pull you back into him. He holds you there against him, not daring to move, not daring to let go. And you stay. You donât wiggle, you donât move, you sit there breathing him in deeply. The comfort this man gave you was insane. You could live here in his arms, on this farm, hours from a real town or city and you would be happy. Youâd have him and heâd have you.
Images of your life on the farm with Joel flash through your mind and it has you reeling. Winter on the farm and being bundled up with him in bed, trying to stay warm with the space heater since the main house has a mean draft. Maybe you could convince him to get matching pajamas with you. Christmas ones with trees and stars on it.
You imagine helping Joel with Estrella and her baby in the spring. He could teach you how to tend to the chickens and horses so you could help fetch the eggs without getting pecked and even brush the horse's manes, giving them a braid or two. Joelâs been talking about starting a garden. Itâd be the perfect time to get cucumbers planted, and tomatoes even.
Maybe in the summertime, you and Joel could lay a blanket on the hill in the backyard and watch the clouds pass by and as the day turned to night, you could count the stars in the sky with him. Maybe heâd lean over and kiss you, his hand trailing from your jaw to your neck to your waist. Heâd take you on that blanket, under the moon, making love to the only woman heâd ever wanted in his life to stay with him for good.
And maybe that fall, youâd run into the stables, tears streaming down your cheeks as you gripped the little stick in your hand. Joel would look at you with concern, his brows knitted together tightly before looking down to what was gripped in your palm. Heâd rush over to you, asking what it said, and youâd smile, nodding your head.
âThank you.â He speaks. Itâd been God knows how long since someone had said something, but you didnât mind. The silence was comfortable with him. You look up to him again, the side of your cheek smooshed against his peck, and he smiles.
âThank you? For what?â You ask. Joelâs hands caress the side of your cheek thatâs not pressed against his chest, and he hums.
âFor stayinâ. Lord nows why youâd stay, but Iâm glad. Real glad, my sweet girl.â
âYeah, well⌠this place has grown on me. Who would have thought?â You say, smiling softly. Joel smiles too.
âYeah, just the charm of the farm, huh, sugar? Nothing else?â He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
âHmm⌠nope. I just really like Estrella. And her new baby is really cute too.â
Joelâs eyes roll but then he leans down and pecks your lips in a sequence. He presses his lips against yours over and over and you think to yourself thereâs no way you could ever get sick of this.
He pulls back and wipes the hair out of your face, âJust so God damn pretty, baby girl. Canât believe Iâll get to look at you every day. Get to touch you and kiss you.â Joel speaks and heâs really just talking to himself. Heâs trying to convince himself this is really happening. You sit up, placing your legs on either side of Joel as you straddle him. His eyes flash with desire and it goes straight to his groin. You can feel it as his length pokes against your core but he doesnât try anything. He just looks at you.
âSorry, darlinâ. Donât gotta do nothinâ about it, just happens when Iâm around you.â
You shake your head, corners of your mouth flitting upwards. âItâs okay, Joel. I donât mind it. I kinda love that I can turn you on so easily.â
Joel smirks, ââKindaâ love it? What do you think cause Iâm damn near geriatric I shouldnât be able to get it up anymore?â
âOh my god. Thatâs not what Iâm saying.â You say as your face burns, and you roll your eyes.
He laughs, âI know, baby. I just like givinâ you a hard time.â
âHmm⌠well, I know something else that's hard you can give to me.â You smirk. Youâre kidding and he knows it but it still turns him on even further. His grip on your waist tightens before trailing it down to your ass and pulling you against him. You feel that familiar ache in between your legs as his tip teases you through your pants. You shake your head.
âJoelâŚâ You say warningly.
âI know, I know. Itâs not really a sexy time right now, is it?â
You nod, âNot really⌠maybe later though? Lukeâs packing right now. He said heâll be gone by tomorrow morning. Could I sleep here with you tonight?â
Joelâs heart skips a beat, âI wouldnât think youâd be anywhere else.â
Silence falls between the two of you as Joel takes your hands into his. His fingers pad over your delicate skin, tracing up the length of them and over the chipped polish on your nails. He laces his with yours and looks into your eyes. Joel feels his heart thump against his chest, an overwhelming sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Heâs going to say it. Heâs never said it in his entire life to anyone. But he knows he feels it with you. It might be too soon, but in this moment he doesnât care. He doesnât know if you feel it too, but he thinks so. Joelâs nervous, and when he opens his mouth to speak, you stop him.
âI know.â You breathe, gripping on to his fingers tightly. Your voice waivers. âYou donât have to say it. I⌠I know.â And you do. You know exactly what heâs going to say and yes, of course you want to hear it. You feel it too. But youâre not ready. Not yet.
âI feel the same way.â You hush, bringing his knuckles up to your lips and pressing small kisses against them.
Joelâs eyes get blurry, and he nods, huffing slightly. He leans in and kisses you and you kiss him back. Itâs simple, but passionate. You can feel the emotion he radiates for you and you hope he can feel it right back.
âI want to say it though, baby girl. You mean so much to me. Greatest fuckinâ thing to ever happen to me if I'm quite honest. Despite some trouble here and there.â He hums, lips pressing to your cheek and jaw. Your eyes close as you savor his touches, and you hum back.
âMe too. Maybe thatâs crazy to say but Iâve never had anyone care for me the way you do, Joel. So, trust me. I feel the exact same way about you. Letâs just wait a little longer to say it. I mean I just found out Iâm getting a divorce.â
Joel pulls back and looks into your eyes. They hold stars and galaxies and Joel is convinced that he could look into them forever. One look from you and heâd know everything would work out. You were his home, not this farm. And when he thought about it, it was well worth the wait for him to find you. Heâd spend another 50 years alone if that meant he could spend eternity with you when it was all said and done.
The both of you knew there was still a lot to work out, but whatever happened, itâd be you two. That was all you really needed.
âI think⌠we should go into the kitchen and tear up the rest of that pecan pie. Whaddya think?â Joel smiles, pulling you with him as he gets up from the couch. His arms wrap around your waist as yours wrap around his neck and you smile, nodding to him.
âSounds good to me. I could go for a lilâ something sweet right now.â

Thank you for reading this. As always, likes and reblogs are appreciated and if you enjoyed reading it, let me know! âĽď¸
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#tlou#the last of us#oh boy this is a good one#word count is insane but oh well
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hey babe can I request Hotch with a reader girlfriend whoâs desperately shy? early seasons hotch please when heâs still smiley (maybe still has Jack tho), i would love to see how he treats a long term girlfriend in your eyes one who heâs just completely gone forÂ
fem, 0.9k
You should know better than to come to work without venturing up to Aaronâs private office, but youâre late coming in and thereâs a ton of stuff to do and heâs supposed to pretend that he cares when you turn in your work late. You log in and start going through things slowly. There are a few emails to respond to, some queries, a consult request Aaron himself has forwarded with a note âyour expertise is required.Â
You wiggle your mouse to wake the screen. You hadnât realised youâd gotten stuck until it was dark.Â
âHi, sweetheart,â someone murmurs, tipping your head back to kiss your cheek, âwhere have you been?âÂ
He speaks quietly, no one else can hear him, but he enthuses his tone with so much love that you canât decide between laughter or tears. You turn breathless instead, a thumb against your throat as Aaronâs loving questioning continues, âI thought we talked about this, hmm? You coming up to see me? How else am I supposed to know that youâre here?âÂ
Thereâs no Emily sitting at the desk opposite yours. No Spencer adjacent, no Derek to the right. It explains why heâs butter soft, but not his worry.Â
âI was nearly late. Iâm sorry.âÂ
He starts to kiss you gently, quietly, his lips tracking over the side of your cheek and pressing in as he goes until his nose is against your temple. âDonât be sorry, I just wanted to see you.â He holds you to him. âI missed you.â
âAre you okay?â you ask, wishing you were brave enough to tack handsome, or love on the end.Â
âWhy wouldnât I be?âÂ
âI thought maybe you were still stressed about Emily.âÂ
Aaron pulls away, giving you your first proper look at him that morning. Heâs as handsome as ever. It makes your chest spike with anxiety. You worry all the time that youâll lose him; the thought that he might realise all the things youâre missing and break things off is a constant at the back of your mind. It only ever goes quiet when heâs kissing you. âPrentiss has done well so far,â he says. âIâm not happy to have things rearranged above my head, but I have no problem with Emily. Now, how was your morning?âÂ
âIt was fine.âÂ
âI want to know. Breakfast?âÂ
âYeah, oatmeal.âÂ
He grins. âMe too.âÂ
Nobody would ever believe that this is your boyfriend when heâs commanding a room during a profile, or apprehending an UnSub with his impassive, furrowed brow. You assumed it was the honeymoon phase at first. Itâs not like his affection makes much sense, but if heâs not stressed, it just means he loves you, which is nice. You hold the back of your hand to his cheek, laughing in a shock when he turns his face and traps it between his cheek and his shoulder.Â
âNo more late mornings,â he says decisively.Â
âI wasnât technically late. I wasnât early enough to come up to see you, is all. Are you upset I didnât bring you your coffee?âÂ
âIs that what you think?â he asks, smiling as he kisses your wrist, before straightening. You let your hand fall and he catches it on the way down.Â
âI donât know. Youâre much too touchy. Iâm trying to deduce why, butâŚâÂ
âProfile me,â Aaron says. He gives your hand a squeeze. âYou know how to do it, honey. Figure out my motive from my past behaviours.âÂ
Aaronâs only ever this sweet on you when youâre in his bed. Well, âonly everâ is harsh, but heâs never not sweet on you in the afterglow. And thatâs because intimacy is a constant reminder of how close you really are to one another, why he loves you, and why you love him. So perhaps heâs being sweet on you because youâve reminded him how loved he is? But it doesnât make much sense. You forgot his coffee.
Your stomach goes warm. âOh. Oh,â you say, âI called you last night.âÂ
âYou did.âÂ
âI was tired.âÂ
âBut you were beautiful,â he says, and what does that mean? Itâs not as though he could see your face. âI canât remember the last time you were like that. Not since we were in Helena.â
You canât remember it clearly. Threads of what youâd said come back to you slowly. Love you, my sweetheart, my Aaron. Can you come over? I know itâs late, I need to see you. You were too tired to function, let alone call someone, and yet.Â
Your face is on fire.Â
âSorry I couldnât come over, honey,â he says, chucking you under the chin with a curled finger. âI wouldâve, I promise, but I had Jack until we swapped this morning.â
You go hot all over. âNo, I know. Itâs fine, I shouldnât have called youââ
âWho says you canât call me?âÂ
âNobody, but I shouldnât have.â
âYou can call me anytime you want.â He tips your chin up. âQuick, Spencerâll have finished what I asked him to do soon. Can I kiss you?âÂ
âI forgot it was your day for Jackââ
He takes your face into his hand. âDoesnât matter, honey. Kiss?âÂ
You close your eyes and lift your chin. Ever your prince, Aaron squeezes your cheek gently and leans in to kiss you, far warmer than youâre expecting, his thumb rubbing over your cheek with a reverence he couldn't fake if he wanted to.Â
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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Do you know what this means. It means I'm free, I can read all the snf week fics and big bang fics oh my gosh WAIT I CAN READ WHATEVER I WANT I apologize in advance for the spam I am going to be RELENTLESS
#starting to actually use my ao3 account has been great#but that also means I just pop up out of nowhere#even tho I've been here for years#better late than never tho am I right#throwaway thoughts
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Want and need (18+)
parings. andrew "pope" cody x reader
summary. you're tired of pope's staring, so this time you give him something to do about it.
warnings. this is an 18+ fic so mdni, unprotected sex, rough sex, p in v, possessive!pope, age gap (pope is late 30s, reader is 25), typical animal kingdom stuff, mentions of drug addiction and drinking (but nothing in depth), pope and reader have wanted each other for a long time and all hell breaks loose, I am not responsible for what you read online, let me know if there's anything else!
notes. I really don't even know what to say, this was really self indulgent but also a shit ton of people asked for this. this is my first time writing smut, so please go easy on me đ I love y'all tho and I hope this makes those who asked for this very happy and I'd be more than willing to try for other characters too. as always any and all feedback is appreciated!
wc. 4100+
You were young when you were taken into the Cody household. Barely ten or eleven, chasing the coattails of Baz, Pope, and Julia. They were older, reckless, and way more fun than Deran and Craig in your young mind. You were just a kid back then, all scraped knees and wide eyes, desperate to be seen, to be wanted. And they gave you thatâchaotic, dangerous, and messy as it was.
Now, you were older. Maybe not in their eyes, not entirely. To them, youâd always be the kid who used to sneak beers from the cooler and fall asleep on the couch mid-party. But youâd grown. Twenty-five looked good on you. It felt even better.
With the kind of money Smurf funneled your wayâwhether out of guilt, habit, or because she saw something useful in youâyou were living comfortably. Shopping trips in LA with Juliaâs old taste still lingering in the back of your mind, a crisp white sports car that purred when you touched the gas, and a room in Smurfâs homethat came with a 12-foot deep pool and too much sunshine. It wasnât just surviving anymore. You were lounging, tanning, sipping something cold, and living the dreamâCody style.
But even with all of itâthe car, the clothes, the poolâyou still found yourself looking for him.
Andrew.
He was the one who never really changed. Still guarded. Still intense. Still carrying every unspoken burden like it was strapped to his chest. And even after all these years, you hadnât outgrown the way he made you feelâsafe, seen, even when you didnât want him to see everything.
Sometimes heâd come by, dropping something off for Smurf, checking on Craig or Deran through you, but his eyes always lingered a little longer when you were around. Not in a creepy way. Just⌠aware. Like he was always assessing, always measuring how close was too close.
But you werenât a kid anymore.
And you were starting to wonder if he knew that too.
He was always too worried about Julia or Cath to notice the young girl that gravitated toward him more than his brothersâand that was okay, it had been okay. You werenât supposed to be seen back then, just allowed to linger. And Pope, for all his walls and rough edges, let you. He never pushed you away, never told you to stop following him like a shadow. But he never really looked at you, either.
Then life changedâfast and hard.
Julia left, tearing a hole right through the Cody family like a storm no one saw coming. She vanished into the haze of addiction, baby in tow, and that was that. Cath and Baz fell into each other in the aftermath, and that burned tooâmore for Pope than he ever admitted out loud. And when Pope finally cracked under the pressure, when he went to jail after a job went bad, everything fractured. The center couldnât hold.
Life moved on, and you along with it.
You learned not to wait for anyone. You learned how to handle yourself, how to use what the Codys gave youâprotection, money, a name that opened doors and slammed others shut. You carved a place for yourself in the world they ruled. No one questioned why you were there anymore. You werenât the kid tagging along.
You were a woman now.
And when Pope got out, when he came back into that sun-soaked chaos of a world you both knew too well, he noticed.
Really noticed.
Maybe it was the way you carried yourself nowâconfident, sharper, always watching like you used toâbut from a different angle. Maybe it was the way you didnât look at him like a lost, broken thing the way everyone else did. Or maybe it was just time. Maybe he finally realized you werenât following anymore.
You were standing still. And he was the one stopping in his tracks.
"You gonna keep watching me like a creep or are you gonna come sit and talk with me?" you called out, not even turning your head, just lazily lifting your sunglasses as you lounged beside the pool.
Your bikini left little to the imaginationâtiny, tied at the hips, glistening slightly from the coconut tanning oil that coated your sun-warmed skin. The scent mixed with the citrusy bite of the cocktail youâd been nursing for the past hour, the condensation from the glass dripping down your fingers as you swirled the straw.
You could feel his eyes on you before you even spoke. He always tried to be subtle, lurking in the doorway or leaning against the fence like he had any real reason to be there. But Pope was never good at hiding his intensity, not from you.
"No one else is here anyway," you added, voice lower this time, laced with something softâan invitation, not a challenge.
You finally turned to look at him. He hadnât moved yet, still standing a few feet away like he was weighing his options. Same old Pope. Arms crossed, eyes narrowed, like walking ten feet to a lounge chair might cost him something heavy. But there was something in his expression that wasnât so guarded now. Something careful. Curious.
âYou worried Smurfâs gonna pop out of the bushes or something?â you teased, tilting your head with a little smirk. âShe doesnât care what I do. You know that.â
He shifted his weight but didnât answer right away, jaw flexing like he was grinding down words before they made it to his mouth. Then finally, he started walkingâslow, measured, like he was still deciding if this was a mistake.
But he came anyway and sat right at your feet.Â
"What's on your mind?" you asked, nudging him with your pedicured footâpainted a glossy shade of white that caught the sunlight just right. It was playful, meant to break through the stiff walls he always had up. You werenât trying to push too hard. Just enough to remind him he didnât have to sit there like a stone.
He didnât flinch at the touch, just looked down at your foot resting lightly against his jean covered thigh, then back up at you with that unreadable expression he always wore. But there was something different in his eyes. Softer. Or maybe tired.
"Nothing," he muttered, eyes drifting to the water. "Just making sure youâre alright."
You rolled your eyes, âOf course Iâm fine, youâre watching over me arenât ya?â
He didnât answer, but the faintest flicker of something passed through his eyesâsomething just shy of a smirk. You caught it, even if he tried to bury it again just as fast.
You leaned back against the lounge, arching your back just a little as you stretched out your legs, your toes still resting against his thigh. âYou always do that, you know,â you said, your voice low and smooth, laced with something warm. âWatch me like youâre trying to memorize every move, but never saying a damn thing.â
Popeâs jaw tightened, but he didnât look away. Didnât deny it either.
âI used to wonder if it was guilt,â you went on, your eyes locked on him now, studying his face. âMe being around⌠all the time. If maybe, you thought I was just another thing you had to take care of.â
His gaze finally slid from the pool back to youâslower this time. Steady. That unreadable expression giving way to something heavier.
âIt wasnât guilt,â he said. Voice rough, low enough you almost didnât hear it over the soft splash of water from the filter nearby.
Your lips curved slightly. âNo?â
He shook his head once.
Your foot pressed a little firmer against his thigh, not teasing anymoreâmore like claiming space, letting him feel the weight of your presence. âThen what was it, Andrew?â you asked, letting his name linger in the air between you like the taste of the rum still on your lips.Â
âWhy do you still look at me like that?â
Silence stretched for a moment too long. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldnât find the words, and Pope never needed many. He was more action than speech. Always had been.
So you sat up slowly, cocktail forgotten now, your body turned toward him as you leaned forward just enough to let your fingers brush his wrist. His skin was warm. Tense. Alive under your touch.
âIâm not a kid anymore,â you said, softly now, like it was a secret between the two of you. âYou can tell me things...â
His breath hitchedâso slight, but you felt it. Saw it in the way his hand twitched under yours, like he was holding himself back with every ounce of control he had.
You leaned in a little closer, close enough that he could smell the sweet coconut clinging to your skin, the soft salt of pool water in your hair. âYou can touch me now, Andrew,â you whispered, barely louder than the wind rustling through the palm trees overhead. âIf you want to.â
His hand moved then, slow and unsure at first, like he was afraid you might vanish if he did. But you didnât. You stayed right there, watching him, heart pounding in your chest as his calloused fingers brushed your thighâjust a whisper of contact, but it lit a fire low in your stomach.
And he looked at you like he didnât know how to breathe anymore.
âYou sure?â he asked, voice hoarse, thick with restraint.
You nodded, smile turning sultry, sure. âGo ahead.â
And for the first time since you were a kid chasing his shadow, Pope Cody didnât run.
The tension between you snapped like a live wireâsharp, charged, inevitable.
You shifted, slow and deliberate, rising just enough to swing one bronzed leg over his lap. His eyes followed the movement, hands clenched at his sides like he was trying to stop himself from grabbing you right then and there. But when you settled on top of him, thighs hugging his hips and your hands bracing against his chest, he didnât move away. Didnât even blink.
He just stared up at you, jaw tight, pupils blown wide, chest rising and falling like he was caught between every wrong instinct heâd ever hadâand the one that felt right.
You leaned in slowly, your lips just a breath away from his, fingers sliding up the sides of his neck, thumbs tracing his jaw. âTell me to stop,â you whispered, though your tone dared him to.
He didnât.
So you kissed him.
It started slowâsoft, testing. But the second your mouth met his, the switch flipped. His hands gripped your hips like heâd been dying to touch you for years and finally stopped pretending he didnât want to. You moved against him instinctively, gasping softly when he deepened the kiss, his mouth hungry and rough, like he was trying to swallow every second of the years heâd lost, every second he hadnât let himself want this.
Your fingers twisted into his curls as you rocked against him, feeling him grow harder beneath you. His groan rumbled in his chest, low and feral, vibrating against your lips. He kissed like he foughtâintensely, without hesitation, like nothing else mattered but this moment. But even now, even like this, his touch wasnât careless.
One hand slid up your back, fingers splayed over your spine, grounding you. The other stayed planted at your waist, as if anchoring himself to you, needing you close but terrified of losing control. You could feel it in the way he held youâlike he didnât want to break you. Like part of him still saw that girl who followed him around, and the rest of him was warring with the woman now straddling him in the late afternoon sun.
You pulled back just slightly, lips swollen, eyes locked on his. âIâm not scared of you,â you breathed.
His eyes darkened. âMaybe you should be.â
You smiled. Slow. Wicked. âBut Iâm not.â
And then you kissed him again, deeper this time, letting your body press flush against his, the heat between you scorching, undeniable, and no longer something either of you could ignore.
A hand slipped under your bikini top, rough palm closing over one of your tits, you gasped into his mouth. His thumb brushed against your nipple, and the sharp jolt it sent through you had you rocking harder against him, your hands fisting in his shirt.
âFuckâjust take it off me,â you muttered against his lips, breathless, needy.
Pope didnât hesitate. He tugged at the knot behind your neck, and the top came undone with a quick flick of his fingers. You didnât even care where it landedâjust felt the warm afternoon air on your bare skin and the heat of his gaze as he pulled back to look.
His eyes swept over you like a storm cloud rolling inâdark, intense, and full of want. âYou have no idea what you do to me,â he rasped, voice strained as he leaned in, lips brushing the swell of your chest.
Your fingers threaded into his dark curls, nails gently scraping his scalp as he sucked a mark into your skin, his stubble rough against your soft flesh. You moaned low in your throat, head falling back as he worshiped you with his mouth, biting, licking, claiming.
âYouâve always been mine,â he muttered, more to himself than to you.Â
You looked down at him, your body flushed and burning, heart pounding so loud you swore he could hear it. âSay it again,â you whispered, grinding down against the bulge in his jeans.
And in the next second, he surged up, one arm wrapping around your waist as he stood, lifting you with him like you weighed nothing. You wrapped your legs around him instinctively, breath catching as his mouth returned to yoursâurgent and possessive. He didnât say another word as he carried you inside, but his kiss said everything. Every step was heavy with purpose. Like heâd finally given in to what heâd been fighting for years.
He pushed the sliding door open with his foot, barely breaking stride as he carried you inside, your bare chest pressed to him, his lips never straying far from yours. The house was quiet, golden sunlight spilling across the hardwood floors as you clung to him, your fingers tugging at his shirt, desperate to feel skin against skin.
By the time he made it to your bedroom, the tension had hit a fever pitch. He laid you down on the edge of the bed, standing between your thighs, eyes sweeping over your half-naked body like he couldnât decide whether to worship you or ruin you.
You propped yourself up on your elbows, heart thudding, watching the way his hands shook slightly as he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. The way his chest rose and fell, same as your own, like he was holding back something dangerous.
"You look like you're about to bust," you said with a teasing smirk, voice low and breathy.
âI am,â he said simply, stepping closer, his hands sliding up your thighs, thumbs brushing the edges of your bikini bottoms. âYouâre driving me insane.â
âThen lose the rest,â you whispered, voice nearly a dare.
He hooked his fingers under the ties, and with one smooth tug, the last piece of fabric between you was gone. You leaned back slowly, watching his eyes drag over every inch of you, hunger and restraint warring in his expression.
Then he was back on you, like wet on water.
Mouth on yours again, harder this time, kissing you like he was drowning and you were air. His hands roamed everywhereâyour waist, your hips, the inside of your thighsâlike he couldnât touch enough fast enough. And you didnât want him to stop. You wrapped your legs around his slim waist, pulling him closer, grinding against his buldge pressed between you. He was rock hard.Â
Every kiss, every touch felt like years in the makingâpent-up tension finally snapping in the heat of that bedroom. You moaned into his mouth, nails digging into his back as he pushed you further onto the bed, hovering over you like he wanted to devour you whole.
âFuckâtell me you want this,â he growled against your neck, voice ragged.
âIâve always wanted this,â you breathed, eyes locked on his. âIâve always wanted you.â
He crashed his mouth against yours again, and this time, there was no hesitationâjust raw need, years of it unraveling all at once. His weight pressed you into the mattress, solid and grounding, as if he was trying to make sure this was real.Â
That you were real.Â
That after all the years of watching, waiting, denying, he could finally touch you the way heâd needed to.
Your hands were everywhereâhis back, his chest, tugging at the waistband of his jeans with trembling fingers until he groaned against your skin. âJesus, kid,â he muttered, breaking the kiss just long enough to yank them off with a rough urgency, kicking them away as he settled between your legs again.
You arched up into him, your body already aching, your thighs spreading to welcome him as he hovered over you. There was a flicker of hesitationâhis eyes searching yours, his thumb brushing your cheek in a moment of quiet, reverent pause.
âYou sure?â he asked, voice low and gruff, but laced with something almost tender.
You reached up, fingers curling around the back of his neck as you pulled him back down to you. âFuck me,â
That was all he needed.
He tugged on his cock a few times before sliding into you slowly, carefully, and your head fell back with a soft cryâhis name spilling from your lips like a prayer. He filled you completely, a delicious stretch that had your nails digging into his shoulders, your legs tightening around his waist.
He didnât move right awayâjust held himself there, forehead pressed to yours, breathing hard, like he was memorizing every second. âYou feel like⌠fuck,â he whispered. âYou were made for me.â
And then he started to move.
Slow, deep thrusts that left you gasping, your hands clutching at him like he was the only thing tethering you to the earth. He kissed your neck, your collarbone, the swell of your chest, his hands gripping your hips with a bruising intensity, pulling you closer every time he drove into you.
âYouâve always been mine,â he murmured against your skin, lips brushing your ear.Â
Your heart twisted, heat building, rising between you in waves. You met every thrust, your bodies moving in sync like they were meant to be tangled like this. And as his pace quickened, rougher now, needier, you clung to himâyour body trembling, your voice breaking as the edge drew closer.
âPopeââ you gasped, barely able to get his name out before it hit you. A rush of heat, pleasure, everything blurring as your back arched as you came, orgasm tearing through you, raw and electric.
He wasnât far behindâgroaning into your neck, his rhythm faltering, then stilling as he found his own release, his entire body shuddering above you.
The room was quiet except for the sound of your breath and the faint rustle of sheets. Pope didnât move for a whileâjust rested there, head buried against your shoulder, arms still wrapped around you like letting go might shatter the moment. When he finally looked at you again, something had shifted. There was no going back.
His grip on your waist tightened as he thrust deeper again, rougher nowâno more holding back. His mouth was at your throat, breathing you in like he needed your scent to stay sane, his teeth grazing your skin as he growled, âYou donât know how long Iâve fucking waited for this.â
You moaned, your fingers tangled in his hair as you clung to him, legs locked tight around his hips once again. âFuck-ddonât stop,â you whispered. âShow me.â
That snapped something loose in him.
âYou want me to show you?â he rasped, voice thick with hunger. âYou think I can be gentle with you now? After all these years, watching you walk around in those little shorts, laughing like you didnât know what you were doing to me?â
His hand slid up your body, wrapping lightly around your throat, thumb resting on your jaw as he looked down at you, eyes blazing. âThis bodyâs mine now. Say it.â
Your lips parted, breath hitched, your voice shaky, âItâs yours- fuck! All yours,â
âDamn right it is,â he grunted, thrusting into you hard enough to knock the air from your lungs, his other hand gripping your thigh and hitching it higher around his waist. âYouâve always been mine, I knew Iâd take you like this.â
You cried out, body burning under his every touch, the filth of his words twisting deliciously in your stomach.
âYou like that?â he growled against your ear, biting your lobe before sucking it. âYou like me talkinâ to you like this? Fuckinâ you like you were made for it?â
âY-YesâGod, yesâPope,â you gasped, head swimming as he hit deeper, angling his hips just right to make your toes curl.
âI donât want anyone else lookinâ at you like this,â he snarled. âNo more showing off at that pool like youâre just some pretty slut.â
âWh-why? You jealous?â you teased, barely able to keep your voice steady as your back arched into him.
He bit down on your shoulderânot enough to break skin, just to mark you. âI own you.â
With that, he flipped you onto your stomach in one rough motion, dragging your hips back until you were up on your knees, face pressed into the sheets. You gasped, the new angle hitting something brutal, perfect, as he thrust back in with a groan.
âThis is mine,â he growled, one hand fisting in your hair, the other gripping your hip so hard you knew itâd bruise. âYouâre mine.â
The way he said itâlike a promise, like a warningâyou believed every word.
âFuck- I get itâOh my god!â you gasped as he tugged on your hair, hips barely able to meet his harsh pace.Â
âYouâre so fucking tight,â he groans out, bucking even harder as he fucks you with intent. You pant, eyes fluttering as he continues his brutal rhythm thatâs hard enough to shake the bed frame.Â
Youâre not even in your own body anymore, the sound of skin on skin filling the room. The once lavender scent of your room, now replaced with sex and what lingured of Popeâs cologne.Â
He slides a hand down between the two of you, thick fingers catching on your clit as he rubs in tight circles bringing you closer to your next orgasm.Â
âI- fuck Andrew⌠Iâm- I canât!â you moan into the bed, fists wrapped in the sheets like your grip will somehow alleviate the growing feeling in your stomach.Â
âCum for me baby, I want to feel you.â he head dips to your shoulder blades, kissing down your back as he eases you to the brink once again.Â
Itâs a white hot feeling as it rips through you, but Pope doesnât stop. He fucks you through it, pulling back just enough only to slam back into you one last time.Â
He tenses, body stiff as he gives you a few more sloppy thrusts as he cums inside youâthick, hot, and everything you want as he pulls and lays beside you taking a few deep breaths.Â
You can feel him dripping out of you, but you donât care. Too spent, you take your time before turning to look at him. Popeâs curls are a mess, though youâre sure your own hair isnât much better.Â
Itâs silent for a while.
 youâre cuddled up to him, tracing little shapes on his chest with his arm thrown around you. It keeps you close to him, like maybe youâll disappear if heâs not touching you in some way.Â
âWhyâd you let me do that?â His voice is soft and gravely, but genuine all the same.Â
âBelieve it or not, Iâve wanted you to do that foreverâŚâ you give him a small smile, still tracing your little shapes into his freckled skin.Â
He sighs, something deep and heavy laced in it. âIâm not good for you,â he mutters.Â
âI think I can decide that for myself,â you shift your head to look up at him, deep hazel eyes meeting your own.Â
His lips capture yours in a kiss, something softer than earlier but the meaning is still the same.Â
You're his, and honestly you donât really mind it.Â
mercvry-glow 2025
#animal kingdom#animal kingdom tnt#animal kingdom x reader#animal kingdom x you#andrew cody#andrew cody x reader#andrew cody x you#pope cody#pope cody x reader#pope cody x you#andrew pope cody#andrew pope cody x reader#andrew pope cody x you#shawn hatosy#⼠- Pope Cody
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; Coming Full Circle



Part 1: Here , Part 2: Here , Part 3: Youâre here! , Part 4: Here
CW: Reader is pregnant BUT is gender neutral only being referred to as you, if you don't have the ability to get pregnant you do now (in this series). Neglected reader x (platonic.) bat family. Reader is probably around in your 20s (21 - 25) and is the 5th(??) oldest.
TW: Past abuse in the form of emotional neglect/abuse, pregnancy, panic attacks and angst
After passing out from the emotions of the shopping trip you woke up to your warm bed. It seems someone (other than Damian, he was too small to carry an adult.) had placed you on your bed, removed your shoes and removed anything that would snag or choke you in your slumber as well, it seems they also left your shopping bags at the foot of your bed. You were starting to wonder if that shopping tripped really ending up helping you because now itâs 12:32 at night and youâre texting your husband you were supposedly not talking to and you felt unbelievably drained from all that crying you did. Usually youâd cry in his arms while he comforts you so perhaps thatâs why your reaching out to him.
You:
Iâm fine. And Iâm safe just need some space
Him:
I want to give that to you but Iâm just nervous not knowing where you are.
You can feel a headache coming on, perhaps from the crying, the fact you were still in your day clothes and from the fact he was so insistent on your location, fair enough, you disappeared with almost nothing on you and also, in his eyes, randomly one day with no signs that you would be away from him for so long. You choose to turn off your phone and just lay there. Honestly itâs all too much. These hectic phew days seeing your family again has been overwhelming. You canât lie and say you arenât enjoying the attention but at the same time you feel this gnawing feeling in your chest. The lingering in the back of your mind being âIs this all real? Was the years of neglect real or did I imagine it all? Has everyone always cared I didnât notice?â and arguably the most significant reason to you âwhat was the reason for it all?â
You can feel your mind start spiralling and you begin to feel sick. You hate it all. Hate being aware of everything all at once. Hate the almost never ending unanswered questions.
You quickly get up shaking your head gently refusing to let it completely overwhelm you, grabbing some PJs you change into as you do. They smell like your him, you both use the same detergent so it always reminds you of each other. You then slide on your slippers as you walk to the kitchen to get a late night snack. Youâve been have some pregnancy cravings but nothing super weird surprisingly, like pickles and peanut butter.
In the kitchen you search for some of your favourite snacks to eat lately, unfortunately thereâs none left so you settle for some fruit you like, not as tasty like the ones you have at home but decent enough. The moonlight comes through the kitchen window making you think once again as you bite into the succulent fruit while you lean against the marble kitchen counters. The night is quiet, perfect for unwelcomed overthinking.
âI wonder what wouldâve happened if I stayed here?â
âWhat wouldâve happened if I never had gotten pregnant?â
The worst thought of all though was; âis this sudden affection from everyone in this manor only because of the baby?â
You love your baby you do but youâd hate for all this affection to be just for the child. You are your familyâs child first and all you want is for them to love you as you and not for the child you carry.
You feel a slight buzz in your pyjama pocket. Youâll have to deal with your true family before your second, and right now part of your true family is worried about you.
Him:
Please talk to me, my love.
You pause sighing, perhaps if you were raised in a healthy family you couldâve grown up to handle conflict better. Maybe you would still be there with him in your shared home. No point in lamenting about it though.
You:
Iâm here sorry I needed to take a break, I was getting overwhelmed.
Him:
Thats okay Iâm sorry⌠Iâm just scared
Your husband has always been kind and patient with you even when you found even yourself difficult. Of course he makes mistakes, but he never hurts you and he would never emotionally abandon you like this cursed family did and yet here you were abandoning him, thinking about that makes you wince slightly.
You:
Thatâs fair⌠Iâm sorry.
Ever since our last argument Iâve been struggling a bit. I know it seems minor but the fact we disagreed on something so small but important around our child is scary. Because what happens next?
All your thoughts spill out as you type, like an overflowing fountain, speaking of fountains you can feel your eyes fill up with tears as you type.
Will we continue to argue about every small thing, like on how to parent our child? Will you get tired if we just continuously disagree and fight? What happens when the baby comes, if Iâm like this now will I really be a good parent? Can I even love when I was raised without it?
Your sweet husband knows everything about your childhood and you know everything about his. He never once judged or blamed you for the trauma you endured, he was always on your side.
Him:
I know youâre scared, my love. but one disagreement doesnât mean our marriage will fall apart, raising a life can be scary but thatâs why we are doing it as a team and not as individuals.
Iâll never get tired of you, I intend to stay true to our marriage vows and love you in sickness and in health. Iâll never be tired of you and I wonât be tired of the baby because I love you both. Also you will be a good parent, I know it. Just because you may have been raised without love and care doesnât mean you canât love and care anymore, youâre married to me and you love me just fine.
Donât doubt yourself so much. Thinking so big about everything all at once is bound to get you overwhelmed.
You can almost hear his naggy voice lecturing you towards the end making you giggle softly.
You:
Youer right Iâm sorry. I love you so much âĄ
God I feel like a fool right now.
Him:
My fool âĄ
Now go to sleep I can tell youâre about to pass out because you spelt youâre wrong
Also I bet the reason you stayed away from me for so long is you were too embarrassed
Shit! He caught you. You shouldâve known better but he can practically see through you sometimes so you donât know why youâre surprised. You laugh softly and hang your head slightly at the fact you can still feel the connection when youâre both apart. Itâs a testament that you both are truly blessed with one another.
You:
Will do, love you again. Also your bet was right, Iâll text you my location tomorrow so you can pick me up.
Him:
Looking forward to it âĄ
You yawn after he sends his last text for tonight, he was right all anxiety has left you with a giant puddle of sleepiness. You eat the last slice of your fruit, wash your hands in the kitchen sink, then finally you walk back to bed.
Youâve never walked around so late itâs almost eerie how quiet it all is, when you were younger you were afraid monsters would get you as sometimes you heard weird noises when you did try to venture outside your room.
Perhaps you shouldâve looked around at night more because then you wouldnât be lost, wandering around a large manor in a sleepy haze, desperate to get back to bed. âOfficeâŚ?â You mumble looking into rooms for the staircase so you could get to your room to no avail.
Somehow you end up in Bruceâs study, that he once expressed you werenât supposed to go into at any point, normally youâd listen, it was just an office after all but the sleep made you bold as you step in.
The room in your sleepy vision was normal.
Minus the bookcase behind the desk which was moved to the side to reveal a staircase going down. The shock of the weird bookcase and stairs going down sobered you up from your sleepy haze.
âWait.. we had a basement?â
You crept down the dark stairwell, the only way you knew where you were going is because of the small lights that lined the walls as you descended. The stairs and the walls werenât old and rickety for a secret passage, they were what looked to be sold black iron all around minus the matching black carpet going down the middle of the stairs.
âThis isnât weird at allâŚâ you mumble sarcastically to yourself.
You canât decide what would be worse a creepy old staircase that looks like it lead to a dungeon or a staircase that looks like it would lead you to something like a room for experiments. Either way it felt like you were about to witness something you shouldnât have seen.
If only you knew how right you were.
Finally you reached the end of the stairs, if you were even still a tiny bit sleepy that terribly long walk down got rid of it. You walk a wide corridor, what looks to be different entrances to rooms line the walls. You want to open one and check but your body pushes you to continually walk forward.
Once you reach the end you see two see-through automatic doors, when you step past one you panic as youâre sprayed down with what you can only assume are chemicals. One you step through the other, youâre greeted with a very large cave.
A cave full of shit youâd never find in a cave, like cars and, sitting in the middle of the very big cave, what looks to be a giant computer.
Alarm bells ring in your head, this definitely wasnât for you to see. But those alarm bells and everything else in your head quickly dies when you see Bruce, Dick and Alfred walking towards you talking amongst themselves.
You wouldnât feel this sudden horrifying pit in your stomach if that was it.
No. If that was it youâd be fine. But instead Dick and Bruce were in costumes.
Not just any costumes but Batman and Nightwing costumes.
âNo.â
âThereâs just no way.â
âThis is a joke.â
But you knew it wasnât when Alfred looked ahead and met your eyes, his face paling at the realization of you standing there and thatâs all you needed to turn and run.
You run back to the see-through doors, down the black hallway and up the black stairs. You are pretty sure you can hear yelling but you canât hear it over the sound of your own breathing as you hyperventilate.
Everything you knew about your family has come crashing down. What was real? Who else knew? No, they all mustâve known. It makes sense that everyone in this family knew but you. Which other superhero was secretly your family member?
Your vision blurs from tears. They were superheros. Saving EVERYONE. EVERYDAY. But they could forget your birthdays, they could forget your existence. Watching your brothers and sisters celebrate their birthdays all together as a happy family and Bruce, your DAD, YOUR BIOLOGICAL DAD couldnât find time to get you a different gift each year.
Everywhere feels unsafe, all you could do was run to the living room before you could feel the air in your throat get stuck from how quick you were breathing. The tears blurring your vision.
You quickly pull out your phone and quickly open your messages, your hand shaking as you click on your husbandâs contact before sending him your location along with a single line saying âhelpâ. You need to leave here fast no where feels safe. Everything feels fake.
As this is all happening you hear people call your name, through your tears you could make out Bruce and Dick.
âHey hey hey letâs just calm down⌠itâs not a big deal! And what you saw wasnât what it looked like.â Dick starts his own voice sounding unsure.
âN-not a- A BIG DEAL?â You manage to choke out and scream.
âDonât be this way.â Bruce coldly glares at your reaction.
âDONâT BE THIS WAY?â You yell again, youâre pretty sure the entire manor is awake now from your cries. âYou⌠you donât get to tell me that.â You hiss through tears.
âTell me, Bruce Thomas Wayne. Who else knows.â You ask slowly and carefully, voice full of spit.
Thereâs a silence before Bruce speaks up, âthe⌠entire family knows.â
You go to laugh but before you can he adds on, âBecause theyâre all vigilantes too, we never told you because we wanted you to live a normal life...â
His voice fades away as the world around you shatters, a seemingly innocent illusion of a neglectful family has cracked and revealed a family who purposefully isolated you from themselves because they decided to choose for you that youâll live a life full of wondering what you did so wrong to deserve this.
Your own father decided to tell the kids that arenât even related to him to become heroes with him but here you were his biological child and yet he decided you werenât worth it all.
You gently crumpled onto the floor.
Right before your husband decides to make a flashy entrance by shattering the living room window.
#𩷠~ long fics || oddlylovingaddiction#Jesus Christ this took me WAYY too long LMFAO#my fault tho shoul manage my time better#Iâll be doing a poll on who the husband should be.#stay tuned!#x reader#gender neutral reader#reader insert#gn reader#batsib!reader#batbro!reader#batfam x neglected reader#batfam x reader#dc x reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x you#batfam x y/n#tw pregnancy#x you#x y/n#x reader platonic#dc x y/n#dc x you#pregnant reader#reader is gn despite being pregnant#reader is pregnant
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best friend!johnny mactavish x f!reader SMUT
you know a regular best friend shouldnât touch you like johnny does. unfortunately, you let him do it anyways. he always has to have a hand on you: squeezing your waist in passing, pinching your earlobe when youâre not listening to him, a hand on the nape of your neck as he walks next to you. it leads to a lot of confusion with others, but you love it, love knowing where your friendship stands based on how much he touches you. some might call it anxious attachment but to you itâs survival, having lived through toxic friendships with shady people. unfortunately, it also means whoever you go out to dinner, the waiters assume youâre on a date.
johnny told you to get dolled up so here you are in your favorite cocktail dress, his hand on your thigh as you eat at the bar. itâs better than any date youâve ever been on, mainly because your favorite sports team is playing on the bar TV and you can burp whenever you want.
before you leave, the woman whoâs been staring at him all night approaches. sheâs pretty and when his hand drops from your thigh, your heart sinks. âexcuse me if this is too forward, but are you two on a date?â you shake your head no before johnny can answer, already sullen. she smiles sweetly at you before turning to johnny, hands fidgeting adorably. she introduces herself and sticks out her hand, which johnny takes. âjohn.â he replies, and you frown, having never heard him use that version of his name. âi just wanted to say i think youâre handsome and was wondering if i could get your number?â johnnyâs eyes flick over her head and land on yours, eyebrows raised. you freeze your facial expression, not sure what he wants from you. finding something in your eyes, he turns back to her and shakes his head. ââm nae datinâ right now, lot happeninâ at work. ah appreciate the offer tho'.â he shoots her a charming smile and even though sheâs been rejected, the power of it sends her flittering. âoh, itâs no worry! enjoy your night.â and with that, she takes her leave.
âyou couldâve said yes. weâre on leave.â he shrugs, flagging the bartender for another round. âcouldâve.â he buys you one round, then two, until you complain about having an early morning tomorrow (itâs a yoga class but you hold firm anyway).
he tells the taxi driver there will be only one stop, his address slurred out. âi have to go home, johnny,â you pout, making no move to tell the driver your own address. when the car stops at his place, johnny crowds your back, his chest pressed to the seam of your spine. you take his keys from his hand, a familiar dance of unlocking the building door and walking up the stairs, fiddling with his three locks until they all click. you toe off your heels and collapse dramatically on his couch. your stomach is heavy from dinner and drinks, eyes closing as you consider giving into an impending food coma. when you blink them open again, itâs too late. johnnyâs shadow falls on yours, his weight smothering you into the couch.
âget off, johnny, i'm too full for this.â his head is flush to your stomach, a place heâs touched with hands but never like this. you thread your hands through his mohawk and half-heartedly try to push him away. âoff.â he grumbles at your tone, giving in slightly to your ministrations as he slides down. your dress is rucked up to your thighs and you donât realize it until the gentle fabric of his shirt brushes them.
âjohnnyâŚâ he turns, eyes dark as his face presses into your lower belly. âah can make ye feel good, hen.â he slides further, his nose bumping the gusset of your underwear as you remember how you forgoed shorts under your outfit. your hips buck at the sudden pressure against your clit, encouraging him further. âitâs jusâ me, lass. can smell âer from here.â you whine at his tone and the force of his gaze. johnny exhales onto the seam of your cunt, sending you shivering as his breath cools the wet spot on your panties. your core pulses, making the decision for you.
âok.â you whisper. he yanks your underwear to the side, pressing his nose to your aching clit. you buck again but this time he holds you down, strong hands beating the muscle of your legs. his tongue peeks out and licks, the smooth glide of it a feeling you havenât felt in a long time. âtaste sâ fuckinâ good.â he has to be lying but his eyes seem truthful, wide and eager like a puppy dog. your hand is still in his hair and you tug him up until his mouth finds your clit, sucking gently. âyouâre a mutt, yâknow that?â you slur, drunk on the power in your hands. all johnny does it nod and suck more, his thumb finding your hole and easing you open. he plays you like an instrument, adjusting his ministrations based on the sounds you emit. despite only one finger inside you, you feel full, and wet from johnny's constant touches at dinner.
your orgasm creeps up on you easily, core fluttering as johnny makes a mess of your cunt. you can feel wetness slip down onto the couch, but with how much johnny is enjoying himself, you donât even feel embarrassed. the spell is broken when you hear keys in the door, unlocking it loudly.
âjohnny, johnny, itâs si-", he cuts you off with another finger pressed into you, scissoring them so he can press your cunt closer to his face. you squeeze your eyes shut and when you open, a hulking mass of a man is trekking through the living room. âfuckinâ âell, you two lost me a tenner t' gaz.â you canât even respond, johnny eating you out with renewed vigor. with every lick and suck, he brings you closer and closer to the edge. simon opens his bedroom door and slams it shut, the sound of rock music drifting through his walls a moment later.
âfuckinâ squeezinâ ma fingers, bonnie. câmon, ah ken ye want tâ come.â he rarely calls you bonnie and thatâs what sends you over the edge. as your core flutters, you remember the other times heâs called you that. in a hospital room, cuts on your brow and your arm in a sling. in a desert with dirt in every crevice, a week without showering. and now, at the altar of your thighs, eating you like his last meal. johnny keeps licking at you until you tug him off forcefully.
despite you being the one to orgasm, he looks wrecked. lips red with effort, his stubble shining with your wetness. he gives you that same charming smile and you close your legs, never minding his fingers still inside you. âtaste like heaven, hen.â you squeeze your thighs until he removes his fingers, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them like a lollipop. worry crashes over you like a wave as nerves buzz under your skin.
âis that- are we-â you scramble off the couch, escaping to his bedroom with johnny on your heels. ââs wrong?â your underwear is half off your legs and thereâs wetness between your thighs and youâre worried that youâve changed the one friendship you can depend on. thatâs whatâs wrong. you try to cover your eyes with your hands, but he doesnât let you, tugging them so theyâre pinned to your sides.
âdoe, talk tâ me.â you sniffle, completely undignified. âi just- canât lose you as a friend, johnny. youâre my best friend.â johnny kisses you, your slick wet on his lips. he pulls back before you can blink. âdinnae think anythinâ else, hen. yâr my best friend too. nothinâs changinâ.â you frown, gesturing between you two. âwhat aboutâŚâ he shrugs. instead of answering, johnny tugs your dress over your head. skilled hands slide your underwear down your thighs. he leaves for his closet and returns a moment later, a worn t-shirt in your hands. you put your hands up and he slides the shirt over your head in a practiced manner. âbetter?â you nod, still confused. âmade us closer friends, righâ?â you nod again. ânothinâs changed, then. we make the rules.â
when you climb into bed, something feels wrong. he sleeps like usual, on his side with a bit of space between you. when you turn around, your back to him, it finally clicks. âyou didnât come.â you murmur. the bed moves as he shrugs. ââll get off in the morn.â instead of replying, your hand fumbles behind you until you find his stomach. he doesnât stop you, allowing your hand to dip down into his boxers. his cock is heavy in your hands, thick and straining with effort. you scoot closer but the angle is awkward, your hand slipping as you try to put it in. johnny takes the reins, a large hand covering yours as he eases his cock into your seeping hole, still wet from earlier. johnny tugs you into him with a hand to your lower stomach, pressing against the slight bulge there. âsleep, hen, anâ iâll fuck ye in the morninâ.â finally satisfied and full with the weight of him as your hole stretches, you sleep.
more best friend johnny here
#tornadothoughts#cod 141#fluff#john soap mactavish#best friend!johnny#soap#soap call of duty#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x f!reader#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish
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Unprofessional Attraction | ONE
⥠pairing - yunho x afab!reader ⥠word count - 13K ⥠series synopsis - There's no such thing as a coincidence, right? CollegeSenior!Reader (22) and linguistics teacher Yunho Jeong (27) indulge in an entanglement of inappropriate gravitation. It's risky and it's wrong, but listening to one's better judgment never leads to anything as intoxicating. When someone threatens this secret relationship with blackmail to expose the truth, things take a turn for the worse. Graduation can't seem to come fast enough. ⥠warnings for this chapter - fluff and explicit content (mdni), slight age gap, teacher/student relationship, other members are featured, pining, some obsessive behavior and manipulation (mainly from reader), drinking alcohol, inebriated driving (big no no frens!) perverted!yunho, bigdick!yunho, sprinkles of praise, fingering, cunnilingus, unprotected sex (mention of bc pill tho), porn with plot ⥠A/N - part one is kinda tame, the next two parts will have more explicit scenes. I hope you enjoy, and please look forward to the rest! I haven't posted a fic on tumblr in many years so pls be kind âĄ
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Yeosang is too attentive, especially when it comes to his best friend.
Thatâs why he knows you well enough to call you out when he whispers, âYouâre staring again.â
âIâm staring at the whiteboard, pretty sure thatâs what youâre supposed to do in class,â you argue, not bothering to even glance at him. Itâs quite obvious that your eyes are too busy soaking in things that donât have to do with phonology.
Your linguistics teacher, Yunho Jeong, is dressed particularly charmingly today. Something about the tight-fitting white polo shirt and chocolate brown slacks he has on this class is too distracting. It doesnât help that his hair is a little more messy than usual, you wonder if he was running late this morning. Linguistics has nothing to do with your major, however, for your final semester in college, you simply needed a filler class for your last few credits. Yeosang suggested joining him in this class so you could both support each other, but he never factored in the fact that youâd be too distracted by the teacher to do anything of use for him. There werenât many younger teachers such as Yunho at your university; in fact, you were pretty sure this was only his second semester teaching in general. He was generally a mild-mannered and easygoing teacher, but he was also able to command a room when necessary.
A minute later, Yunho offers everyone a 10-minute break since the last section of his lecture lasted a little longer than he anticipated, and the class immediately breaks out into chatter.
âHeâs single, you know,â Yeosang turns towards you and props up his head on his palm, âOr so Iâve heard.â
âDonât tell me things like that, youâll make me delusional.â
He doesnât miss the goofy smile tugging at your lips as you stretch your tired limbs from too much sitting. The lectures for this class were two hours long, but they were only twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays, so you couldnât complain too much.
âWhat the hell does that mean?â
âThat I might have a chance with him,â you nudge him playfully.
âIâm not sure heâd want to date someone barely passing his own class,â Yeosang quips quickly, subsequently squeezing his eyes shut when you flick his forehead in response.
âWatch your mouth, I am not âbarely passingâ!â You return your eyes to the subject of your conversation, slowly taking in his form, âFor the record, I could definitely pull him if I tried to. You think he likes younger women?â
âThat is a terrible idea,â your best friend immediately shakes his head. âAbsolutely not.â
âSurely I would be guaranteed to pass then though, no?â you offer instead, half-joking.
âYou havenât gotten laid in the last month and this is the first person that comes to your mind to fix that?â Yeosang scoffs incredulously.
âI wouldnât just be in it for the sex,â you clarify. Your keen eyes watch his every move, from the way that his large hands flex as he thumbs at his phone to the way he purses his lips in curiosity at whatever heâs looking up. Like a lion stalking a gazelle before pouncing. âHeâs quite literally perfect. Tall, smart, handsome, financially stable⌠the whole package. I deserve a man like that, right Yeo?â
You meet Yeosangâs eyes curiously, and he reminds you, âI think youâre forgetting heâs our teacher .â
âWe graduate soon,â you whine, âAct now, worry later. I could graduate with a boyfriend already lined up the minute I get handed my degree.â
âYouâre playing with fire, ____,â he holds his hands up in surrender. As your best friend, he knows youâre not joking, despite how much you might play it off later. He knows that once you set your mind on something, you generally donât stop until itâs achieved, âLetâs see you try, though. Itâll be entertaining.â
When class resumes, you listen to the rest of his lecture with renewed cravings and an unusually optimistic disposition Yeosang has never seen you hold for this subject.
From that moment forward, every instance you âstumbledâ across your teacher was planned. You figured out which parking lot he parked his car on during the day and bought a proper parking pass for that lot, now alternating between taking the shuttle and your car to the university. Your schedules crossed occasionally on your driving days, and youâd simply offer warm greetings or cheerful send-offs depending on the time of day. Yunho was a man of habit who visited the same campus restaurant nearly every day he worked during lunchtime in between his midday classes. It didnât take much energy to stop by a couple of days a week and run into Yunho, giving you the ability to strike up a conversation or two when asking for recommendations on what you should order. These instances were simply to put you more on his radar, instead of just being a face in the sea of students in his class.
He seems to be good friends with two other teachers who are also around his age, teachers Seonghwa Park and San Choi. You wonder if getting in their good graces would somehow transfer to your teacher, by word of mouth. Luckily, you have a friend who has Mr. Park for a history seminar. On a Sunday night, you shoot a text to set the stage.
 [Y/N: Jongho!!!! Itâs been so long since weâve hung out :(( Can I swing by your class tomorrow and pick you up? Letâs get lunch!]
When 2 PM rolls around on Monday, you make the mistake of trusting the shuttle to come on time. Itâs nearly 3 PM when you get to the necessary building, and youâre sure Jonghoâs class ended close to half an hour ago. The plan to run across Mr. Park is thrown completely out of the window, you are only worried about Jongho being upset with you. You know heâd never, but still. Being late to something planned ahead of time always upsets you to no end. You curse at yourself over and over every stride down the hall, and itâs good that the hallways are virtually empty or else youâd probably look crazy. Eventually, you make it to your destination.
Youâre just about to blindly call out an apology to Jongho but end up stopping dead in your tracks as soon as you enter the door; not only is Mr. Park in the room seated at his desk, but heâs also accompanied by Mr. Choi and Mr. Jeong. Theyâre huddled together, Yunho leaning against the whiteboard leisurely with a cup of coffee in his hand while intently listening to Seonghwa complain about the registrarâs office fucking up another one of his studentâs enrollment for his class.
âThere she is,â Jongho sighs this aloud as if his prayers have been answered.
He didnât know if you were going to still make it and heâs dying of hunger from skipping breakfast. Immediately, all three menâs eyes turn towards the entrance. You pray to God that your face isnât flushed with how hot you feel being the fixation of so many eyes. Or maybe itâs more so how handsome the men are that those eyes are coming from. This surely isnât the time to have such a weakness for a strapping man in a button-up and crisp slacks.
âHello, ____,â Yunho is the first of the three to speak. Subsequently, San amiably nods toward you in acknowledgment.
âGood afternoon all,â you greet everyone, bashfully adding, âIâm so sorry for interrupting.â
âNot interrupting at all,â Seonghwa waves his hands, dispelling those fears, âWe were curious why Jongho was sticking back so late. He assured us a friend was coming to get him and we just chose not to leave him.â
Well, this is embarrassing. You nod hastily and glance toward Jongho, who is practically skipping down the lecture hallâs steps. Yunho wants to crack a joke about seeing you everywhere, about how you both must be magnets or something else silly, but he decides to keep that to himself. He doesnât want it to seem like heâs keeping track of course, even if he is.
Instead, he affirms to the other men, âThis is a student of mine.â
Admittedly, your ears had tuned every other word out except âmineâ, and you nodded a little too enthusiastically. You havenât been this discomposed in a long time, too bashful to look any of them in the eyes, and you pray itâs not showing too much elsewhere. Jonghoâs friendly hand landing on your shoulder grounds you.
âYou ready?â
âAbsolutely,â you puff out.
âDonât cause too much trouble for her, Jongho,â Seonghwa pokes a bit of fun at one of his top students, who replies by waving him away and scoffing. They seem to be relaxed with each otherâ this is something you desire to achieve with Yunho soon. You snatch up your friendâs hand and finally move to leave for lunch, if it could even be considered that now with how late it is.
âSee you Wednesday, Mr. Jeong,â you look back and shoot him a wave, accompanied by a charming smile. He nods back, offering you his own as well.
Unbeknownst to you, Sanâs eyes follow you out the door with Jongho, especially surveying the plush of your thighs rubbing together as you walk. Such as yourself, skirts are surely a weakness of his.
âSheâs a senior, right?â he murmurs, half-jokingly.
âStop it,â Yunho promptly elbows San in the arm, earning a stifled laugh from Seonghwa.
Yunho has heard stories about Sanâs slight affinity with the pretty college women when he goes out to bars on the weekends. Nobody from his own classes, of course. Needless to say, Yunho would not let him even think about you that way. No way in hell.
âI was just asking, Jesus.â
Seonghwa stretches his limbs from his chair, âItâs never âjust askingâ with you.â
âYou buy a table of women drinks one time and your friends never let you hear the end of it,â he groans with a roll of his eyes, âGod you guys are the worst.â
âYeah, sure, thatâs what it is,â Seonghwa concedes sarcastically.
âJust donât make any unannounced visits to my classroom anytime soon, you buffoon,â Yunho chastises him while pressing his cup to his lips, âAnd Iâm serious.â
âYou got that,â San yields, âWouldnât wanna be a cock-block.â
Yunho nearly spits his coffee, âI beg your pardon?â
San nearly doubles over in laughter and, to Yunhoâs surprise, Seonghwa has joined in. He doesnât particularly enjoy the look theyâre sharing and it makes the back of his neck burn with heat. Yunho doesnât know why heâs so embarrassed but he steers the conversation away from discussing you any further. He ignores the feeling of indignation and possessiveness pooling in the pit of his stomach.
It doesnât take long for you to decide youâve done what needed to be done outside of the classroom; the cherry on top now was simply to get him alone more privately.
You didnât have to try very hard for this to happen; your work on your paper outline was already sub-par at best. You did fairly well on the quizzes and packets he passed out once a week, but that final paper preparation was surely going to be a challenge. When you find enough courage in yourself to email him about seeing him during his office hours for extra academic help on formatting your paper and choosing a more concise topic, he replies quickly and enthusiastically. According to your syllabus, the topic should relate to what youâre studying for your degree, but the real meat and potatoes of the paper should incorporate an aspect of linguistics in relation to your career path. Yunho understands how something like this can be difficult to tackle, so he assures you not to worry and that you both will work on perfecting it in no time.
âMr. Jeong, do you mind if I text you instead? Itâs more convenient for me than to email,â you end up asking him at the end of class on a Friday.
Yunho doesnât mind this and he says so; he's put his phone number on the syllabus for situations like this. Moreover, he doesnât think anything of it when he receives a text from you the morning of your first session telling him good morning and saying that youâre excited to finally get some guidance. You follow up by asking how he likes his coffee, and if he prefers muffins or donuts. Even after this indicator, heâs still surprised that you show up at his office right on time at 10 AM on Monday with two fresh cups of coffee and a couple of things from the campus bakery.
His office is fairly small, but not enough to feel uncomfortable. Heâs decorated it to his liking though to make it feel a little more homely on the days he has to stay late for one reason or another. He watches you marvel at his space before you set down everything in your hands and relieve yourself of your backpack.
âGood morning!â
âGood morning ____, welcome in,â Yunho smiles. âYouâre very punctual.â
âOf course, I meant what I said about being excited,â you tell him honestly, settling into the seat in front of his desk, âThe right one is yours, by the way.â
Yunho timidly thanks you before sliding it closer to himself. Heâs never had a student do something for him like this, then again he hasnât been teaching that long to begin with. Regardless, he appreciates it and the gesture goes straight to his heart. He takes a sip to emphasize this.
âIâm all ready when you are,â you proclaim, clasping your hands together.
With that, he begins to look through his folders for your class number and finds the topic idea and outlines youâve submitted previously. He doesnât even have to look for your name specifically, you always tend to write his name and your class section in a particular way on the top of your work that is very appealing and oddly unique.
âYou have really pretty handwriting,â Yunho murmurs out absentmindedly when he finds it. When he lifts his head to see your intrigued eyes gazing back at him, he clears his throat and adds, âMine looks like chicken scratch so Iâm always fascinated by others.â
âAs long as itâs legible, thatâs all that matters,â you hum with a smile, âAnd I can read yours just fine, so youâre fine.â
Yunhoâs not sure why that mild compliment, something that should probably be insignificant, steals his words from him for a moment. Instead, he offers a hum in place of thanks while quickly taking another sip of his coffee. He glances at his notes before speaking again.
âOkay, so when I reviewed your work, it seems like you generally have a solid topic,â he begins, âItâs definitely something that can be a bit more concise, but itâs fine. The problem is that youâre trying to incorporate too much into the paper as a whole.â
You nod in understanding, so he takes a sip of coffee and continues.
âThatâs good and bad, for a couple of reasons. Itâs good that youâre being ambitious and trying to give lots of information. This shows me that youâre planning on doing a lot of research and youâre going to be very knowledgeable about your topic,â Yunho cocks his head, âIf you set yourself up like this, though, your paper will end up being over twenty pages easily. And we both donât want that, right?â
He gives you a knowing look, and you canât help the candid snort you let out at his frankness, âDefinitely not, oh God. Iâm so sorry.â
âPrecisely. So, letâs work on cutting some of these sections out and conjoining some of these bullet points in others. Sound good?â He holds out his hand with a grin as if to make it a deal, and you grant him a firm shake.
After a considerable amount of time figuring out which parts of your paper to chop without losing the vision, Yunho feels his limbs tighten from sitting too long. Heâs been in this chair since 9 AM, so he asks, âCan we take a quick break? I need to stretch a bit.â
âOf course!â
When he stands to full height and stretches his arms, your eyes inconspicuously survey the way the edge of the desk lines up right with his pelvis. Perfect height for extracurricular activities⌠You wonder if heâs the type of guy to be open to something like that, fucking his lover in his office. Surely this thing is sturdy enough to withstand it, you muse. The thought of him bending you over the desk just to prove how sturdy it is makes you rub your thighs together. You decide to chug the rest of your now-cold coffee to get your brain back on track. Yunho collapses back into his office chair gently and lets you know heâs ready to resume. The rest of the time is spent setting up a list of some things you could tweak when you go home on your own and prepare for him to view in a couple of days.
On Wednesday, for your second meeting, you both convene at his office directly after your class with him in the afternoon. You smell especially good today, a mix of jasmine, vanilla, and something else he canât put his tongue on⌠but itâs got Yunhoâs head a bit foggy. Still, the meeting is engaging and brimming with useful help just as the last. Leaning back in his chair, he takes a brief moment to review a printout of what youâve implemented into your outline from your last meeting discussions. Itâs definitely already an improvement, but there are still a few things that could be tweaked in terms of sectioning. He grabs his favorite pen and lays your papers out in front of you, leaning forward to mark things you should be mindful of. A circle here, a quick jotted note thereâhis soothing voice explains each eagerly, and you can tell just how much he loves this subject by his enthusiasm. You reply to all of his criticism and suggestions with just as much enthusiasm. Yunho finds himself leaning in a little closer than might be suitable for the circumstances, but his brain is still ensnared by your perfume. He doesnât even realize what heâs doing, truthfully, but it doesnât bother you a bit. In fact, youâre a little too enamored with watching his large hands grip his pen and flex while writing to notice heâs calling your name.
â____?â he calls for a second time, to which you finally meet his gaze while blinking bashfully. âYou okay?â
âIâm sorry, I think I spaced out for a second,â you answer honestly. He is absolutely too close to you right now and the way you can see the details in his eyes is making your brain short-circuit. He finally sits back in his chair and chuckles warmly.
âWe have been working for quite a while today, Iâm sure itâs a lot of information. Maybe we should wrap up for the day and meet again next week? Iâm a bit tied up on Friday,â he ponders. You canât help the hint of disappointment that makes its way onto your face, and he notices. Thereâs this unusual feeling in his chest right now; why does he feel regret for his stupid schedule? He leans forward on his elbows and cocks his head, âYouâre doing very well, you know that? Weâve made a lot of progress after only a couple of meetings. Iâm very excited to see how this comes together at the end of the semester.â
âIâm very self-conscious about my writing, so I appreciate that, Mr. Jeong,â you confess with a sheepish smile.
âYou have nothing to be stressed about, I love what Iâve seen so far,â he continues his praise, âAnd Iâm very happy youâre in my class, ____.â
The smile he gives you after such a statement manifests dozens of butterflies in your stomach, and you canât help but match it. These one-on-one sessions go on 2-3 days a week for about two more weeks, loosening him up to you. He successfully becomes much more casual and unfiltered in your presence before you decide to up the ante. The following Tuesday of the next week, you remain on campus fairly late after classes end for the day, seated on a bench near the parking lot you both share. Itâs warm outside even with the sun gradually setting, and you spend the time mentally rehearsing exactly what you planned on saying when he arrives to leave for home. He should be here any minute nowâ
â_____?â
You spin around at the familiar voice calling out your name. Itâs him, of course, coming from the staff meeting you found out was being held this evening. Finally , you think. He stops just short of where youâre perched on the bench.
âOh, hello Mr. Jeong.â
âWhat are you doing out here so late?â He inquires quickly, and thereâs a tinge of concern laced in his voice. However, he realizes that asking this might be out of the realm of things he should know, youâre a grown woman after all. So, he follows up with an excuse, âItâs getting pretty dark out.â
âItâs a bit embarrassing,â you mutter, glancing away from his gaze.
Yunho canât deny, heâs a bit mesmerized by the way you look tonight. Heâs never seen you with your make-up done up like this, or your hair styled so charmingly. When you glance back at him again with those long, fluttering lashes of yours, he feels the back of his neck turn hot.
âYou can tell me anything, you already know,â he reminds you, âI wonât judge and Iâm always available to listen.â
âWell⌠I have a reservation for dinner with someone at six⌠but it seems they stood me up,â you reveal while mindlessly fiddling with a frayed string on the skirt of your dress. Yunho glances down at his watch: itâs 5:48 PM. âThey were supposed to pick me up a while ago. I was trying to hold out some hope, but⌠Iâm just being stupid.â
Yunho furrows his brows; why would someone stand a girl like you up? Youâre beautiful and exceptionally smart (despite any kind of trouble you may have had with your paper). Youâre also one of the sweetest people heâs ever crossed paths with in life. Many of those paths having been crossed within the last month, of course. Still, he canât fathom it.
âIâm so sorry to hear that, ____,â he tells you truthfully. Then, he thinks about how your car isnât here, and how the shuttle wonât be around until 6:30 PM. Heâs slightly apprehensive before offering, âDo you want a ride home?â
You give him a winsome smile that pierces into his heart with an invisible arrow, âYou donât have to do that. I appreciate the offer though.â
âNo, really, I donât mind at all,â he says with more confidence. The idea of him being your knight in shining armor, buried deep in the back of his head, is shouting at him. Thatâs when you decide itâs time to take your shot, for better or worse.
âWell, in that case, would you like to accompany me to the restaurant instead?â you inquire, glancing up at him curiously. âI already paid for the spot, so I wouldnât want the reservation to go to waste.â
Normally, youâd follow up a statement like that with a: âBut itâs okay if not.â Â
Not tonight.
You didnât want to give him an out to this proposal willingly. You can see the mild indecisiveness in his face anyway, all the way down to how Yunhoâs hand tightens around the handle of his briefcase. You did get all dolled up for whoever you were supposed to be spending the evening with, and heâll feel awfully bad letting you go back home to take it all off for no reason. Itâs just a dinner, he tells himself.
âSure,â Yunho finally says in an exhale, âLet me pull around my car.â
While he walks off into the parking lot towards his car, you bite down hard on your bottom lip to stop the dishonest smile thatâs threatening to spread across your face. Was it all a bald-faced lie? Of course it was! But, sometimes it takes some white lies to get to what you want, and what you wanted was no longer that far out of reach if tonight was anything to go by.
When he finally pulls around to pick you up, you allow yourself to slip into the mode you usually go to on dates. It doesnât hurt to pretend tonight, itâs like manifesting your reality. You thrum your fingers against your bare thighs, to no particular beat, while staring out of the car window at other passing cars during your brief trip on the highway.
âIs this a restaurant youâve been to before? It looked really nice online,â Yunho eventually says into the silence, trying to make small talk. He had briefly skimmed the reviews while plugging the address in on his phone.
âI havenât, actually,â you divulge, going further, âIâm a bit of a foodie, you know? I like to try new places occasionally.â
That conversation flows smoothly for the rest of the drive, and even smoother when you both are seated and eating dinner in a booth towards the back of the restaurant. Itâs nice to see him in a more relaxed setting.
âThank you for joining me tonight, Mr. Jeong.â You offer him some well-deserved gratitude as you wipe your mouth, signaling the end of your eating. âMakes things a lot less embarrassing tonight for sure.â
âNo need to thank me, I enjoyed your company,â he smiles. He doesnât even hesitate this time before adding, âThat bastard doesnât know what heâs missing out on.â
The bubbly laugh and adorable smile you grant him the experience of witnessing enraptures him, the tips of his ears burning at the thought of how he wants to be able to produce that from you again and again. Yunho hasnât been on a date in a while, so heâs sure this feeling is just because heâs attention-deprived. Still, itâs something he notes mentally. And, even though some might consider it inappropriate, you and your teacher both began having dinner occasionally, just like that. Platonically, of course.
 âWe can go over my questions for my paper topic here rather than in that cramped office of yours, you know?â Â
Surprisingly when you proposed this, he showed little resistance to the idea. Yunho enjoyed getting out of the house for the evenings he usually spent alone with a few beers and a Netflix series. He enjoyed having a pretty girl keep him company even more. He reminds himself every time he picks you up, though, that this is simply work and nothing more. Just some overtimeâhelping a student who enjoyed his class get better at the material. Itâs not meant to be enjoyable.
But after the first few times of these âinformational paper relatedâ meetings, conversations involving anything to do with linguistics slowly molded into Yunho placing a nimble finger to his lips to say a silent shhh, followed by, âLetâs not talk about schoolwork tonight, okay?â
That moment, when you noticed that slight shift in Yunhoâs energy, the atmosphere from there turned more informal. You become more conscious of those important invisible lines between student and teacherâ or even more teacher and friendâ that have begun to blur significantly. âGood evening Mr. Jeong,â became, âLeâme taste your food, Yunho?â
To which he never declines, naturally.
Tonight, on the 5th dinner, the climate between you both plows further into the downward spiral of informality, warm and fairly flirtatious. At least, thatâs what you surmise by the way he keeps openly teasing you this evening. Itâs all innocuous banter, but that doesnât quell the adoration you hold for him in the pit of your stomach. Itâs enough to make your thighs clench together underneath the table. You finally decide to shamelessly reciprocate, teasing him about the way his hair is going every which way tonight. You emphasize how the style is still very handsome despite him looking like heâs been through hell and back.
âI was having a pretty bad day today until I remembered where I was going tonight actually,â Yunho divulges, pushing the wrinkly sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. He truly has been through hell and back today, between snooty older teachers and idiot freshmen both treating him like heâs a student just because of his age, âThese kinds of nights with you always make my day, so itâs been saved.â
A playful smile tugs at your lips as you cock your head, âIs it the food or is it the company?â
He leans forward on his forearms with a prepossessing smile, one that makes your heart thump loudly in your ears.
âBoth, of course,â he teases again, âI suppose the food is just a bonus, though.â
He takes notice of the way your cheeks are dusted in crimson as you shyly avert your eyes and locks that innocent image into a deep chamber of his mind along with all the others. He practically has a photo album saved mentally. Itâs not too long until the food comes, and things become all about eating. A fair amount of time into your dinner, you decide to add a new element to your dynamic.
âDo you mind if I drink a little tonight?â you inquire quietly while your eyes skim the wine menu briefly. Not like you were going to care about his answer, but it was simply fun to ask. He chuckles.
âYouâre an adult,â he points out instead. You smile to yourself before meeting his eyes from behind the menu. Thereâs something especially curious tonight behind those dark irises of his. The unfamiliar stare he gives you from behind his bangs is accompanied by a subtle smirk that makes your stomach tie into tight knots.
You turn away your eyes until youâre able to catch the attention of your waiter once more. In the process of requesting a glass of some Cabernet Sauvignon, you hesitate before saying the name of which brand because of the price tag for one glass, but most risks are pricey and tonight you felt like splurging for the reward in return: releasing your inhibitions. The waiter turns towards Yunho to confirm if heâd like to add anything before he leaves.
âBring a bottle of that instead, please. Weâll share,â he requests alternatively. It takes all of your strength not to look at him like heâs crazy as the waiter nods and heads off to fetch it.
âItâs on me tonight,â Yunho beats you to the punch on declaring anything about his decisions.
âYou donât even know the price of it.â
âDoesnât matter,â he quips back with a chuckle, âAre you suggesting I canât afford it?â
âYunhoâŚâ
âDonât even give me that, ____.â
The way he blithely says your first name with a different warmth now always causes your heart to swell in your chest. All formality is truly gone between you two. You both share matching smiles in place of any further words about the matter.
When the waiter returns briefly with a freshly opened bottle of wine and two glasses, you both offer him words of gratitude before he slips away once more. Yunho wastes no time pouring you both a proper amount, sighing contently when finished. You lift your glass towards him and grin once more, âCheers?â
âCheers.â
Yunho surely got his moneyâs worth, because the bottle is gone between you both quickly, signaling the end of your dinner as well. You donât feel the few glasses fully set in until Yunho is helping you out of the booth, your legs feeling akin to a newborn baby deer as you bashfully stumble into his arms. You suppose your food wasnât as carb-heavy as usual tonight. Youâre not drunk, but surely youâre not sober either. He doesnât mind holding you steady on the way out of the restaurant, a guiding hand timidly pressed to the small of your back.
As much as you despise the thought of driving under the influence, itâs pouring an insane amount of rain upon exit of the restaurant and Yunho insists heâs fine enough to drive. The dilemma that arises is how your place is further than he has confidence in making it to in this storm while inebriated. You know just as well as he does that thereâs no way heâs driving you home tonight.
âI have a spare bedroom,â he begins, and glances over at you, hoping you understand what he means because heâs not sober enough to come up with the words to ask you otherwise. The pouring water is making it hard for him to keep his eyes open but he doesnât miss the feigning look of indecision in your eyes. He tries to ignore the way the rain has soaked through your dress enough to make it plaster your body. It accentuates every contour of your figure, from the rounds of your breasts down to your supple thighs. When the boom of thunder somewhere far off fills the silence after his proposal faster than you do, he panics slightly.
âI can get you an Uber ifââ
âYou already paid for an expensive bottle tonight, donât waste more money on an Uber,â you grasp onto his arm fondly, sopping breasts squished into his bicep. Your lips curl into a soft smile at his attempt at chivalry though, âIâll be fine. Letâs hurry though, okay? Iâm cold.â
That statement is followed by a sharp shiver running down your back, and thatâs enough for him to drag you along with him to his car with quick, but careful, steps.
Surprisingly, Yunho lives in a townhouse. Youâre very thankful not to have to walk up the stairs of a condo. He thanks God thereâs an empty parking space in front of his house, he hates when the tiny lot fills up before he gets home. You both prepare yourselves before rushing out of the car and to his front door.
Your hazy eyes train themselves on his pretty, slender fingers fiddling with the doorknob before he finally gets it open. Those same fingers grab your hand and pull you through his front door with him mindlessly. Another chill immediately runs down your spine at the cool AC blasting through his home, which he immediately runs off to turn down.
âBoth bedrooms have bathrooms with showers,â Yunho sputters while quickly heading off to find you a towel and some spare clothes for which you could sleep in.
While youâre still peeling your drenched shoes and socks off, he settles on a fresh t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants since itâs still a bit chilly in the house. You try not to track too much water through his home while you journey through his living room and meet him halfway.
âIâll shower in the guest room,â you tell him, taking the items.
He runs an anxious hand through the wet hair sticking to his forehead, âI can also dry your clothes if you leave them on the bed.â
âFuck, thatâs great,â you sigh with a smile, stepping past him but cocking your head back to add, âWait about five minutes before you come grab them, I should be in the shower by then.â
Just as you requested, Yunho comes into the room a little over five minutes later when he hears the shower running. His eyes confirm that the bathroom door is closed for your privacy before grabbing your wet clothes and retreating to his laundry room down the hall. He chucks them all in his dryer and runs it on medium heat and maximum dryness. While thatâs running, he busies himself with running to his bedroom and speedrunning his shower to ensure heâs out before you. Heâs a man on a mission, pulling on clothes and towel-drying his hair before rushing to the laundry room to get your clothes.
Yunho pulls your garments from the dryer one by one, making sure thereâs nothing left wet. He stops when he pulls something out that catches his eyes. Your underwear. Heâs quite enticed by them, even if they were pastel pink with turtles... Hot, he thinks sarcastically. Yunho eyes the crotch curiously and remembers that technically he didnât wash your clothes at all. Itâs been a while since heâs had a girl over his home and that, on top of the thought of even holding your underwear, is taking a small toll on him. He gives in and puts them to his nose, breathing in deeply.
Oh God ⌠Even after they've been soaked in rain, your scent is still heavy on the fabric. He groans, why did you have to smell so fucking good? He remembers that you are quite literally right down the hall while he's here sniffing your underwear like a pervert. Itâs your fault, right? Yeah, itâs your fault for trusting him with such a sensitive piece of clothing by himself. Itâs your fault for smelling so good and looking so pretty andâ
He gives up on rationalizing it and presses the clothing fully onto his face again, inhaling heavily and feeling himself grow harder and harder by the second. His arousal grows worse and worse, precum dampening his underwear with every deep inhale and fluttering thought of what you probably taste like⌠He finds his hand mindlessly palming himself, and luckily his groans are muffled by the underwear bunched up in his face. Thatâs when he hears the water shut off.
Yunho whispers a handful of obscenities as he hurries to the room to place your dried clothes on the bed while youâre still in the bathroom, closing the door behind him softly. Heâs long gone by the time you step out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
Normally, youâd stay in the shower until your fingertips are pruney, but you suppose being a good guest includes not using up all of his hot water. There were more pressing things to attend to anyway, like the tall attractive man patiently awaiting your presence outside of this room. So, when you tug on your now dry panties and his previously provided clothing, you quickly make your way out of the room and to the living room. Youâre not exactly sure what you expected upon seeing him, but heâs indeed still exceptionally handsome freshly out of the shower. Those same curious eyes gaze at you behind his shaggy bangs, still in the process of drying. Clad in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, his biceps and strong thighs are fully on display as he lounges on the couch. The way his long legs are man-spread now that heâs comfortable in his own abode makes you swallow a little harder than usual. Still, you meander over and sit on the other side of the couch, not too far away.
âYour place is very nice,â you state absentmindedly, glancing around at the walls of his home. âVery fit for a bachelor.â
Without you noticing, Yunhoâs eyes skillfully study the way youâre so casually in his clothing. Youâre too busy glancing around at unnecessary things anyway; he wonders if youâre rambling about his decor because youâre nervous. Heâs nervous too, but not for the right reasons. Regardless, seeing you in his clothing is taking an additional toll on his mental health. How did you both end up in this situation together⌠This is wrong, he thinks. He shakes his head to try and clear those corrupted thoughts from his mind. It isnât until you realize he hasnât replied to anything in a couple of minutes of you jabbering that you finally peer over at him. His eyes are trained on the short distance between the both of you, mindlessly chewing on the nail of his thumb.
âYou okay?â you ask, finally catching his attention.
He nods hastily, âDefinitely. Sorry, itâs been a long day. Mind is on empty.â
âYouâre fine, no worries.â
Itâs uncomfortably quiet for a moment as you both exchange stares. Youâre seconds away from breaking the silence before Yunho steals the chance.
âIâm sure youâre tired, so we can head to bed,â he suddenly exhales, hands clasping his thighs, âThe guest room is all yours for as long as you need it.â
You take the chance and lean forward toward him on your palms at this statement, slightly sinking into the couch while you gaze at him, âIs that what you really want, Yunho?â
Thereâs now an even longer moment of silence where you both stare each other in the eyes again and the room is unbearably quiet. Yunho finally breaks it after his Adamâs apple bobs uneasily.
âOf course,â he awkwardly chuckles with furrowed brows, âWhat do you mean, ____?â
Your heart deflates. For a second, you wonder if maybe youâve been reading his body language incorrectly the entire night. Thereâs a flare of embarrassment that ignites on your cheeks as you immediately retract yourself.
âI suck at making jokes,â you match his chuckle nervously, âDonât mind me.â He cocks his head at you curiously and you stand to your feet before he can catch the way your face is lighting on fire with every passing second. You avoid looking at him as you begin striding back to the guest room, âGoodnight Yunho, see you in the morning!â
Yunho is left alone to his own devices once he hears the sound of the door to the guest room closing down the hall. Sitting alone on a large bed in your teacherâs home feels surreal, and all too disappointing the same. You press your palms to your eyes to try and settle the embarrassment that keeps washing over you every time you think back to your impromptu attempt at making an advance toward him. God this fucking sucksâŚ
After a few minutes of setting up some alarms on your phone for the next morning, you decide you need to go get some water and wash away tonight from your mind forever. Yunho Jeong doesnât like you more than a friend, itâs time to accept your fate and that you failed at attracting him. To be fair, it all was a shot in the dark to begin with. You try not to be too hard on yourself and hope that heâs already in his room by now.
But, if thatâs all truly the case, then why is Yunho standing in front of the guest room door when you open it? His arm is positioned as if he was about to knock. Yunho had been standing there for quite some minutes, debating his next actions in his head, overthinking as usual. Though, could it be considered overthinking if the consequences of his actions could lead to delinquency? Had you not opened the door to go get water, albeit unknowingly, he probably wouldâve psyched himself out.
âOhâ Did you need something?â you mumble and look up inquisitively at him. His mouth lingers open for a few seconds before he learns how to speak again.
âCan we talk?â
âOf course.â You canât help the hint of confusion gracing your face as you step aside and allow him inside the room, âIs everything okay?â
When you close the door and face him, he looks distraught. Everything was indeed not okay.
âAre you still drunk?â He asks first.
âI donât really think I was ever drunk,â you tell him, âBut no.â
âNeither am I.â
At first, it doesnât click about why heâs confirming this. You also donât notice the way he gradually takes tentative steps forwardâor the way youâre equally taking steps backâuntil your back hits the bedroom door. Heâs so close that you can smell the minty mouthwash still fresh on his breath unfurling over your face. Still, he looks hesitant about his actions.
âIâm sorry, I was just⌠nervous before,â he swallows. He watches your face shift from confusion to realization; heâs referring to his response when you shot your shot. You relax against the door.
âAbout?â Is all you can ask in a soft voice, left hand daringly reaching up and cupping his cheek.
âAbout drunken words,â he continues, his voice just above a whisper. You can see the stutter of his heart against his chest. âAnd my feelings.â
Your thumb brushes his bottom lip, âWhat are you feeling, Yunho?â
In a moment of fleeting courage, he gently grabs your right hand and leads it to settle below his groin, pressing it against him a bit for good measure.
âWhat does it feel like Iâm feeling to you?â
Your cheeks heat up at the feeling of him in your palm; you didnât expect him to be so forward about it out of nowhere. The overall anticipation of the situation is killing you, even though everything feels like itâs moving too slowly and too fast all at the same time. All of your effort was leading to this point and yet, somehow, you still donât feel nearly as prepared as you thought you were to finally fuck him, to finally fuck your teacher. That doesnât stop your cunt from clenching around nothing at all at his words alone, because this is definitely what youâve wanted so badly for weeks.
You try to swallow even though your throat feels parched, mindlessly whispering, âOh my GodâŚâ
Then, you give him an experimental squeeze which has his eyelids fluttering closed, and a deep grunt leaving his flared nostrils.
âFuck âŚâ he groans. Itâs too natural, the way you subconsciously run your hand up and down the bulge, feeling it harden even further. Yunho is at his wit's end. âI need you to tell me exactly what you want ____,â he reminds you.
You get it, heâs covering his bases because of his relation to you outside of this bedroom. Consent is sexy regardless, so you grant that to him.
âI really, really want you to fuck me Yunho,â you purr as your hands creep up his chest until you can wrap your arms around his neck, âAnd I think you want the same, right?â
Yunhoâs hands sneak under the t-shirt on you and he massages the flesh of your sides, fingertips ghosting up your skin until they reach your breasts. His thumbs brushing against your hard nipples involuntarily make you whimper his name, and this is all Yunho needs to hear to proceed without such caution. The moment he leans down and smashes his lips to yours, time stops.
Itâs nasty, the way your tongues are dragging against each other, spreading trails of saliva everywhere.
Itâs nasty, the way he canât help but drag that same tongue down your neck, sullying your freshly washed skin with spit.
Itâs even nastier, the way he moans out your name, shamelessly grinding his clothed boner into your crotch, searching for friction because heâs touch-starved.
âA-Ahâwait! Bed, please,â you let out a broken moan at the way he sucks and bites on your neck. Yunho grunts in agreement, spinning you around and forcefully guiding you back until you both reach the bed. You canât help but giggle when you fall back on the mattressâ heâs so hungry for it, for you. And youâre more than ready to give it to him.
âCan I take them off?â He still asks like a gentleman, though his fingers are impatiently already tugging at the bottom of your sweatpants. You nod with fervor.
The moment he tosses them away, the situation begins to feel a bit more real to you both. Maybe itâs because youâre sopping wet and semi-exposed, and heâs not, so you become bashful and self-conscious.
âTake yours off too?â
Yunho doesnât hesitate to oblige you. He peels off his shirt and shoves his shorts away easily. Thereâs a brief second where he hesitates before also pulling his boxer briefs down and finally fully exposing himself to you in all his nude glory. Yunho hasnât slept with a woman in a while, but heâs never had complaints about anything, and especially not his size. He can tell by how your eyes are drinking him in, that you wonât have any either.
âYouâre so handsome, you know that?â you murmur, eyes hazy as they rake over him from his broad chest to his defined abs, then his defined hips to his heavy cock. Thereâs a cute hue of pink dusting his cheeks at the compliment.
Yunho doesnât give you a chance to stare at him very much longer before heâs finally ridding you of your shirt, lips meeting yours again the moment itâs tossed. Itâs not long before that naughty mouth of his indulges in your breasts, licking and sucking on your hardened nipples like theyâre the only thing that will keep him grounded to earth. Youâre a moaning mess underneath of him, hands carding through his tresses and lips struggling with telling him how much you love his mouth. He could suck on your beautiful breasts all day but there are more pressing matters at this time.
His eyes never leave yours as he kisses all the way down the expanse of your stomach to the waistband of your panties. Only then does he close his eyes to bury his face in your clothed cunt and take a deep breath, filling his lungs until they feel like they're about to burst. Heâs so content that now he can do it knowing the real thing is right underneath. It gets him hard all the same as the laundry room. You watch him grind himself into the mattress for some relief just at the smell of you.
âIâve never done something like this before,â he divulges, pressing heated kisses into the skin of your sensitive thighs.
âWhat, eating pussy?â you tease to ease his nerves. He stares pointedly at you from behind your mound.
âYou know what I mean.â
Your hand reaches down to find a comforting purchase in his hair, âNeither have I, Yu.â
Yunho can feel himself falling apart faster and faster, and the nickname is not helping him keep it together at all. He hooks his fingers in your panties and gently tugs them down your legs, joining the rest of the discarded clothing on the floor. Your cheeks tingle with heat when his hands spread your legs wider, eyes seemingly mesmerized.
âSuch a pretty pussyâŚâ he whispers, marveling at the way your sticky lips tremble when you clench around nothing.
He solves that by pushing in two of those pretty fingers of his, all the way down to the last knuckles. The desperate moan that flies from your lips sends him into a depraved headspace. He immediately latches his mouth onto your throbbing clit and sets to work, thrusting into your squelching squeezing heat and sucking to his heartâs content. Yunho loves eating pussy, truly. Thereâs something truly cathartic to him about holding a womanâs legs down while she twitches and grinds against his face as heâs slurping up every bit of essence that seeps from her greedy hole. He even removes his fingers and opts for lapping at your heat like a starved man instead. Up and down, left and right⌠His tongue leaves no inch of your heat untouched. He loves the feeling of your slick coating his face when he pushes his tongue as deep as he can into your hole. He feels your hands yank him by his hair before he can even get to the fun part. He gazes up at you in confusion, mouth messy and eyes indubitably pussy-drunk.
âPlease,â you beg, chest heaving, âI want you inside.â
Yunho licks his lips clean before crawling back up your body to fulfill your request. Youâre right honestly, thereâs only so much grinding he can do into the mattress to ease the ache of his hard cock. He leans over to grab a condom from the nightstand but you pull him back over, mumbling about how youâre on the pill and that itâs fine.
Heâs so big, the way heâs engulfing your whole body with you caged between his arms like this. Gazing into your eyes, he drags the blunt tip of his cock back and forth through your dripping folds, occasionally pressing it hard against that clit that heâs taken such a liking to sucking on.
âHey,â you mumble against his lips, catching the full attention of his blown-out irises. âI can tell youâre nervous. Just relax and lose control, for me. Okay?â
Yunhoâs last rope of restraint snaps.
The moment you feel his tip finally breach your entrance, you squeeze your eyes shut and mewl at the feeling of his thick cock sliding into its rightful place. Yes, obviously heâs meant just for your cunt, because you fit like a glove when you're swallowing him in so badly the deeper he pushes. He doesnât stop until heâs buried to the hilt, despite your squirming and twitching underneath him at the feeling of being so full. Â
âIâm about to move,â he pants, adjusting to the feeling of your warm walls squeezing his cock, âHoly fuck.â
When you nod, he finally lets go of his inhibitions. He begins to roll his hips at a nice steady pace, large hands clasped to the backs of your thighs as he pushes them towards your torso. His mouth hangs open in ecstasy and his eyelids lower lazily at the way your walls suck in his cock so tightly and squeeze it like theyâre begging to be filled to the brim. You reach up and latch onto his arms to ground yourself, head dizzy and overwhelmed at the feeling of him starting to snap his hips just a little faster now that youâre stretched out a bit more to accommodate him.
âYunho, fuck, youâre so big,â you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders. Yunho grinds his pelvis into you at this remark, rubbing against your clit with his happy trail.
âAnd youâre taking me so well,â Yunho praises with a lopsided grin, âFeels good?â
âSo fucking good.â
Yunho pushes your legs back even further as he leans in to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss. Youâre so pretty with those glassy eyes and those flushed cheeks of yours, but thereâs something about that that quivering bottom lip that makes him want to suck every sound from you himself. He finds himself bucking faster and faster, unable to maintain any kind of self-control.
He breaks away to catch his breath, eyes lazy as he groans, âLet me hear you. This is what you wanted, yeah?â
âMhm, yes, yes,â you whine desperately, âI wanted it so bad. Wanted you so bad.â
You grant him a flurry of shameless bitten-off moans, egging him on further and further. Yunho buries his face into the crook of your neck, making your skin damp between his own warm gasps and grunting obscenities. He doesnât think heâs ever felt this aroused before; yes, heâs so painfully hard at the fleeting thoughts of how inappropriate everything is. Heâs your linguistics teacherâheâs not supposed to be teaching your cunt how to mold to the shape of his cock. Heâs not supposed to be massaging your clit and babbling nonsense about how heâs going to lick your pussy clean when you cum. How can he say that to a student? However, his eyes roll back at that thought.
âIâm going crazy,â he groans into your skin, mindlessly speaking his thoughts aloud. âIâm so close.â
Youâd say the same if you could, but your mouth canât form proper words with the way his long fingers are rubbing quick messy circles around your clit. Instead, you put your mouth on the shell of his ear and say his name in a filthy mewl. Your legs tense up and your toes curl; Yunho can feel you cum around his cock a beat later, encouraging your convulsing and whimpering. He can only manage to give you a few more rough thrusts before he pulls himself out and allows himself to empty his balls in quick spurts all over your torso, a mix of âfuckâ and â____â leaking from his mouth at how filthy the action is, dirtying you like this. Heâs a man of his word though, quickly hefting himself back down to your sopping cunt and diving face first to taste everything he missed tasting earlier. The groan of pure bliss he lets out into your sensitive cunt has you squirming away, much to his dismay. But he finds himself chuckling anywayâhe got to taste your cum and, even if it was for only a few seconds, heâs satisfied.
Cleaning up and cuddling after is far from awkward, Yunho feels comfortable with his arms wrapped around you and head on your chest. You find yourself mindlessly scratching his scalp and playing with his messy hair, while his large hands massage the muscles of your thighs. Itâs immensely intimate, and this scares Yunho deep inside. Unbeknownst to his stress, youâre settling into a mental state of bliss; you canât wait to see where this night leads you after, even if it might be a little awkward back in the classroom at first. He tries not to dwell on such thoughts for too long, eventually falling asleep under your touch.
Yunho wakes up to a cold, empty bed. Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand, he catches some time he canât be bothered with reading fully, nine-something-in-the-morning. He groans internally at the bittersweet arrival of the morning. After a few seconds of just lying there, bleary eyes staring at anything and everything, he remembers that heâs not supposed to be alone right now. The grimace that crosses his face is heavy.
He lugs himself up and out of bed to find his phone, which heâs left God knows where. After a bit of searching, heâs even more upset to see a lack of text from you about leaving. Leaving with no word after sex⌠Yunho has been in this position before and it makes him feel like shit. It feels even worse considering that this is not just some random woman, you are his student. Heâs a chronic overthinker, he knows he is. Yet, he canât stop his mind from filling with a plethora of miserable thoughts about what this could mean.
Did you simply want to fuck him and nothing more?
Did you regret sleeping with him and want to leave without confrontation?
Did you sleep with him to then leave and tell someone, maybe to humiliate him?
All of these thoughts scream at Yunho until he finds himself clenching his jaw, and tears are pricking at his eyes. He hates this feeling every time it happens; it makes him feel like heâs not good enough. In a moment of brief irrationality, Yunho debates if he should outright block you.
Heâs impulsive like that when heâs worked up. However, after a few minutes of begging himself to calm down, he tossed his phone away and went on to make a cup of tea to ease his agitation. He knew this was a mistake from the start and he still did it.
He doesnât get a text from you until after 11 AM.
 [Y/N: sorry for leaving without saying anything!! I forgot I had prior commitments this morning, didnât wanna text you until I was sure youâd be up. hope you slept well :)]
Yunho doesnât know what to think. Prior commitments? Surely this wouldâve been something you wouldâve mentioned before he drove you to his home last night. It is Saturday though, so itâs plausible. He opens the message and leaves you on read instead.
Earlier this morning, you were certain Yunho must have completely tired himself out after sleeping with you because he failed to wake up when your alarms went off. You make a mental note that it only takes him cumming once to make him go comatose (and maybe a little wine to boot). You had left his place with no ill intentions, and your message was truthful. So, when you get left on read by him, it ignites a small flame of insecurity in you. Youâre never one to double-text a man, but considering this is something you put a great amount of effort into getting to happen, you put your pride aside when you don't get a reply by the next day.
 [Y/N: Wondering if you want to try a new restaurant after work tomorrow⌠Let me know if youâre interested!]
To your surprise, Yunho replies that heâs too busy. He doesnât offer to reschedule for a better day, which isnât like him. Instead of taking it too seriously and replying something disheartened, you let him know that you understand and to let you know if anything changes. He opens this message and doesnât reply. You try again on Tuesday. This time, your inquiry is more succinct, no fluff.
 [Y/N: Are you free Wednesday?]
He answers this similarly to the last attempt, maintaining that heâs too busy to see you that day as well. However, this text is more curt than the last. When you cave in and ask him which days heâs not busy, he leaves you on read, again.
 [Y/N: Do you have a free moment to talk then?]
Yunho doesnât open this text altogether, and the disgruntlement this stirs within you lingers in your system all day, even when you decide to go out with your friends to clear your mind.
Throughout his class with you the following day, you endure Yunhoâs eyes practically boring into you at various points in time. Itâs like an itch that canât be scratched, nagging at your scalp while you keep your head downcast towards your laptop. Thoroughly, as distractions do, it keeps you on edge and unfocused throughout the whole lecture. It doesnât help that Yeosang is out today, so you feel alone even surrounded by so many people.
At some point, during a quiet moment of everyone completing an individual assignment he had handed out, you glance up over the screen of your laptop and catch his attentive eyes gazing back. He gnaws on the nail of this thumb as he usually does when his brain is on overdrive, his eyes calmly lingering on the fixation of all his thoughts. Eventually, he turns them away and decides to focus on something else irrelevant involving his phone. Anything to take you off of his mind.
You quietly snicker to yourself and roll your eyes. So, he can play on his phone just fine during class but canât find the time to text you and talk? Men will be men⌠If he just wanted to sleep with you and leave at that, he could at least tell you, you brood. You try not to let it get to you, but itâs hard to focus on anything for the last half hour of class. You donât bother sticking around after and instead, preoccupy yourself by striking up a conversation with another acquaintance on the way out of the doors. Yunho notices the way you act like he doesnât exist while leaving and it makes him a bit bitter. He knows itâs irrational, but youâve really done a number on him, so he canât help it.
On Thursday, youâre sick of the games altogether. Being the super sleuth you were at the beginning of this mess, you knew when Yunho typically went to his office in between classes to get grading done that he couldnât do throughout the day. So, when you finish your mathematics class, you pack up your things quickly, knowing he should be roaming this same hall in very little time. Thereâs one thingâor person, you supposeâthat you didnât account for in this plan.
âYouâre terrible at covering hickeys, you know,â Hongjoong chides, eyeing your messy job at applying makeup to your neck.
To be fair to yourself, you hadnât realized Yunho had sucked one onto your skin the night you both slept together, and the dark blotch was too annoying to deal with every single day. You bruise too easily and they donât go away fast enough. Admittedly, you had slacked off on the cover-up today. You chalk it up to secretly being in Fight Club, which you remind him, the number rule is to never talk about Fight Club! That, of course, was not a good enough reason for Hongjoong, and you regret that you didnât acknowledge beforehand he would surely grill you endlessly about your recreational pastimes.
âOkay seriously, I just wore my choker too tight yesterday and it pinched my neck, that's all,â you explain as he quickly follows you out of the classroom. He squints at you with skeptical eyes, as if he is not believing any of the piping hot shit youâre serving him on a platter. Phase two was to gaze at him with winsome eyes, ones he was definitely familiar with. They always worked on Yeosang, but Hongjoong was harder to subdue.
âDonât.â
âJoong, Iâm telling you, thereâs nothing more for me to answer here.â
You employ a small pout to boot.
âAnd you think I believe that?â
âI think you should believe it.â
He rolls his eyes in annoyance. Meanwhile, your eyes inconspicuously search for Yunho in the sea of classmates flooding the hallway; there was a very important conversation you had hyped yourself up to finally have with him. One that surely would not be done if it didnât get done today, at this very moment. That would obviously fail to happen if Hongjoong kept pestering you with his concerns. Suddenly, your eyes spot the tail end of Yunhoâs styled hair turning the corner and leaving the hallway. Goddammit!
âJoong, I really gotta go,â you say frantically and secure your backpack onto your back. His lips open slightly in puzzlement, but thereâs nothing he can say before youâre already shoving people out of the way to make it through the hallway to follow him to his office.
You take the stairs while he takes the elevator to waste some time; hopefully, he'll be set up and comfortable by the time you get to his floor. When you make it to his office, heâs indeed already seated and filtering through sheets of work from students during the last class. You donât bother knocking before entering; he hadnât afforded you the comfort of manners lately, so neither would you.
Honestly, had anyone else burst into his office so unannounced like this, he might've cussed them out by accident. But before he can get any words out, you can see the physical shift from annoyance to puzzlement wash over his face as he realizes itâs you, then, genuine dread graces his face before downcasting his gaze.
âI need to talk to you,â you insist, âNow.â
Heâs having a hard time even meeting your eyes when youâre speaking and itâs pissing you off tremendously.
âIâm a bit busy right now,â he sighs, now in the process of looking through his desk for a pen that works. âItâll have to wait for another time.â
You ignore him entirely, âWhy are you avoiding me, Yunho?â
âIâm not avoiding you,â Yunho quickly objects. âIâm justââ
âYouâve blown me off twice this week already,â you counter. âNow I canât even come see you at your office?â
Yunho puts his head in his hands and tries to collect his thoughts. Heâs too sensitive to handle this conversation with no preparation beforehand. Then again, the longer he keeps isolating, the longer heâs going to keep feeling like shit. He can hear the undertone of hurt in your words, but heâs only doing whatâs best for you, right?
âThe least you could do is give me a real reason,â you continue. He finally lifts his head and meets your frustrated eyes. âJust give me a real reason to and Iâll fuck-off all you want.â
â____, that night was a mistake,â he tells you simply. The look in his eyes says otherwise. You know heâs lying but it still feels like a punch in the gut.
âA mistake?â
âItâs something that shouldnât have happened, and it was inappropriate of me to do that with you. Letâs just forget about it and move on, please.â
You furrow your brows in agitation, âYou really feel that way?â
âI do,â he murmurs, eyes falling back to the papers in front of him. He visibly hesitates for the briefest moment before picking up his pen and resuming his grading. This feeling of rejection hurts a little more than usual. Why do you feel like a failure? Why do you feel like a fuck-up? Maybe itâs because of the effort you put into this man, unlike many others. You stand there in his doorway uncomfortably silent until you find it in yourself to offer some final words.
âWeâre both adults, Yunho,â you remind him in a voice that airs on the more serious side of yourself. Heâs never heard you sound such a way with him. âNo one has to know what two grown adults do in their free time. And you donât owe anyone any explanations.â
When he doesnât look up from his paperwork anymore, you finally leave and gently close the door behind you.
Nearly a week after that day, your phone begins to ring while youâre out at a bar with friends. Yeosangâs nosy eyes catch the name on the screen and he gives you an incredulous look. His name still has a heart beside it and you havenât updated him on anything regarding Yunho since telling him that you both were texting each other outside of class.
âWhat is he doing calling you at 9 PM, miss?â he teases as you move your phone to your lap, âBooty call?â
âWould you like to ask him yourself?â you snort.
âBoo, why can I never know anythingââ
âOh but when I mention the obvious hickey, Iâm imagining things, huh?â Hongjoong interjects with narrowed eyes when he overhears you both bickering. âWhoâs the mystery man?â
âItâs nobody,â both you and Yeosang say in unison.
Hongjoong quirks a brow at how you both are gazing at him with matching smiles, suspiciously. He lets it go quickly and instead butts into Mingi and his girlfriendâs conversation. By the time you glance at your phone, Yunhoâs call has already gone fully unanswered. Subsequently, you chose not to return the call later when youâre done and home. You didnât necessarily want to talk to someone who called such an intimate moment with you a mistake. And especially not intoxicated. If he wants to talk to me that bad, heâd just send whatever he needs to say in a text, you tell yourself. But, of course, those texts donât come. Yunho doesnât know how to express himself like that over message. However, after getting wasted, it takes everything within you not to text him first in a fit of overwhelming horniness. Whatâs the worst that could come from letting him know that youâre craving the feeling of that thick cock of his splitting you open, or how maybe this time you should test out your gag reflex? Yeosang knows you well enough to take your phone from you after a certain amount of shots, so you donât get that opportunity anyway. God bless your best friend.
A couple of days later, you still find yourself unable to let things go. How can you when Yeosang brings it up any time you speak alone? For someone so sure you were making a huge mistake, he sure is desperate for the tea. Itâs like heâs your frontline cheerleader (which he usually is anyway). If he found out you both fucked, surely heâd lose his mind.
âYou canât keep me in the dark, Iâm still dying to know how much progress youâre making with Mr. Jeong after seeing him call you that night,â Yeosang pleads, âHave you both met up in private off of campus yet?â
âThatâs classified info,â you state and try to stifle your subsequent laughter when you hear him grumble. You still hadnât found it within yourself yet to tell him that your plan had failed. âYouâll know by if I pass this class or not.â
âJust a little hint, please? Iâm on my knees.â
âProgress is being made, Yeo,â you disclose in a sing-song voice. Surely a little white lie wouldnât hurt in the meantime, âHeâs a very good conversationalist, you know. With that deep voice of his, and especially late at night.â
Yeosang groans in annoyance, âYouâre killing me ____, Iâm too curious! You didnât entertain a single man at the bar, something juicy has to be happening.â
You debate on at least telling him about the extra study sessions you and Yunho had been having before things were soiled, the innocent stuff that he could gush and tease you over. But, just as youâre about to say something, he cuts you off unknowingly.
âShit, Mingiâs calling. Leâme call you back,â Yeosang groans, and you offer a hum of affirmation before the line clicks. Maybe itâs for the best that you had been interrupted before you put your foot in your mouth.
You quickly fill the silence by shuffling one of your âDoing Choresâ playlists and focusing your mind on cooking the remainder of your dinner. A couple of minutes later, the chime of your phone interrupts your music. You continue to focus on stirring while your other hand carelessly presses the answer option.
âThat was quick,â you giggle.
âFelt like forever to me,â a familiar, deep voice replies. You freeze and glance over to see Yunhoâs name on the screen of your phone in place of your best friendâs.
 Fuck.
âGood evening, Mr. Jeong,â you reply instead. âI thought you were someone else, my apologies.â
âHave we really already reverted back to the formalities?â he sighs and his voice already sounds a bit defeated.
You roll your eyes, âIâm a bit preoccupied right now. So unless youâd like to discuss my class work, I donât have time to entertain this.â
âJust give me five minutes, please.â
You turn off the stove and snatch up your phone before ambling to your bedroom.
âSpit it out already, Yunho.â
âI canât stop thinking about you ____,â he admits.
Hearing you say his first name makes him feel a smidge better, even if itâs in irritation. He wonders if you can feel his heart pounding through the speaker or the way it makes his fingers tremble while holding the phone. âI was just scared, you have to understand that at least. I told you Iâve never done that kind of thing before, ever.â
âThought it was a mistakeââ
âI only said that because you left without saying anything. I thought you regretted it!â
âI literally told you why I did that, you decided to not believe me apparently,â you counter, voice laced with the slightest bit of frustration as you sit on your bed. Then you add in a mutter, âInstead of talking with me like an adult.â
Thereâs a long moment of silence. He doesnât hang up though, so neither do you. You stare at the timer under his name, continuing to count up seconds full of emptiness.
âIâm really sorry,â Yunho finally sighs. âI said a lot of things I didnât mean. I was just scared.â You remain silent and it eats at his confidence slowly. Heâs desperate and doesnât really care if it shows at this point, so he goes on to fill the silence again, âYou were right, weâre adults. Itâs not anybody elseâs business what happens outside of campus. Thatâs why Iâm trying to fix things now. Please.â
You sigh heavily while stroking your temples. This conversation is not something you had prepared yourself for, but the desperation in his voice is hitting you right in the gut. You know heâs being sincere, but itâs just hard to make yourself that vulnerable as well. You both know the truth is that itâs not okay, none of this is. Itâs all extremely inappropriate. What you are doing with each other could ruin both of your lives if found out before you graduate. Itâs risky; and yet, you still find yourself saying a sentence you definitely shouldnât be saying:
âListen, I genuinely like you Yunho.â
âAnd I genuinely like you too, ____. So let me take you on a proper date,â he says a little too hastily, but he canât stop himself from the excitement that bubbles inside of him, stemming solely from you even reciprocating his feelings, âAnd not just a dinner like usual, I mean something thoughtful.â
âSomething thoughtfulâŚâ you repeat after him, accidentally punctuating it with a giggle at how foolish the whole situation seems. âAre you serious about that?â
âAbsolutely,â he assures you, âOnly if you want to, of course.â
You sigh and smile to yourself at how heartfelt he sounds. Sure, there are millions of ways this could go extremely wrong, but you decide to ignore those thoughts and take him up on his offer. If you were one to listen to the better part of your judgment, you wouldnât have gotten yourself into this situation in the first place. It would be a shame to let that work you put in go to waste just because of a little hiccup in the road. Besides, Yunho was surely the best fuck you had received in quite some time. There was plenty of time through the rest of the semester to explore that side of him again as well. The conversation ends with you both agreeing to meet with each other in a few days, Yunho promising to make it enjoyable even though itâll be discrete.
⥠taglist for those who replied to my interest post: @yeos-bunny @sharksandminhos @sannieluvrr
#ateez smut#ateez fluff#ateez fanfic#ateez yunho#jung yunho#jeong yunho#yunho x reader#yunho smut#reader insert#x reader#yeosang#hongjoong#mingi#jongho#seonghwa#san#ateez fic#ateez#forbidden romance#secret relationship#teacher x student
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jealousy, jealousy (toji fushiguro x reader) + twt prn link
a/n: thank you for the support on my last two posts! i appreciate it so much! hereâs some filthy toji action tho. i apologize again for any mistakes i'm always tired.
cw: Â age gap, sex toys, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, reader has a vagina, name-calling, recording, use of the names slut, whore, princess, and baby girl, possessiveness, size kink, teasing.
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Having a much older boyfriend wasnât for the faint of heart. Being a sophomore in college and dating a man who was in his late 30s proved to be challenging at times. Although he took care of your every single need and made sure you never went without. There were times when you couldnât stand him.Â
He knew that dating a young woman in college would be hard. After all, you know what they say about college life. Toji was a possessive man and would do anything to show that you were his. Never mind the age gap between you two. When he found out that Gojo Satoru, a classmate that you were supposed to work on a project with, had asked you out it took every ounce of his being not to tear that man apart.Â
It didnât help that you kept telling him that it didnât mean anything and that his constant possessive behavior made you want to break up. It just ignited something in him.Â
Right now your boyfriend was towering over your smaller frame. It made you rub your thighs together. âSo, you wanna break up do you?â He said in a low register. All you could get out was a meek âyesâ. He laughed when he heard your response and his thumb found your chin. He forced your gaze to meet his.
It felt like he was burning holes in you with his eyes. You couldnât even manage to make eye contact. âLook at me Doll.â A small tinge of anger was laced with his words. âNo.â You knew he wouldnât like your reply, but getting him frustrated was a part of the fun. âNo?â He says and before you could even process what he had said he grabs your waist and hoists you over his shoulder.Â
âToji! Put me down!â You banged your fists on his broad and strong back and it didnât phase him one bit. He threw your smaller body on the bed and flipped you over. He wasted no time getting on top of you. You felt his hard cock on your ass. âIâm gonna give you one more chance to change that attitude.â He leans in and says next to your ear. âFuck off.â You spit. Tojiâs hand finds your ass and gives it a harsh pinch. âStay right here, and donât fucking move.âÂ
At this point, youâre leaking, and despite wanting to get under Tojiâs skin for irritating you, you know better than to move. You feel his body leave the bed and you hear some shuffling before he climbs back into bed and gets behind you. You look up and into the mirror in front of you. âArch, now.â He demands and you oblige. âGood girl.â He smiles and grabs the dildo he had in hand. You watch as he reaches over your arched body and suctions the dildo to the mirror. âSuck it now.â âR-right now?â You stutter. âDid I stutter, Sweetie?âÂ
Your lips press against the tip of the dildo and Toji watches as he palms himself with one hand and holds your phone in the other. âDonât be shy now Princess. Show the camera how well you can suck cock.â Knowing you were on camera made you feel like jelly.Â
Your tongue swirls around the soft tip of the sex toy before you begin to move your mouth down the toy inch by inch. As every inch slides down your throat, slurping sounds fill the room as you struggle to take the thick length. âPoor Princess, I know you can take more. You take my huge cock every night.â He teases and rubs your ass, still recording.Â
Your throat relaxes around the inches before you take the remaining inches down your warm throat. âThatâs a good girl.â Toji groans while pulling his boxers down. You make eye contact with your boyfriend in the mirror while you gag and choke on the fake cock. âShow Gojo how well you can suck cock.â Thatâs when you realize. Toji is recording this to send to him. The thought alone makes you want to pass out in embarrassment but also makes you hot.
Â
Knowing this was going to your flirty classmate, you had to put on a show. You bob your head up and down the length while looking directly into the phoneâs camera. Drool ran down your chin and fell onto the bed sheets. Your throat bulged and your eyes rolled to the back of your head every time you went down to the base. âSo good at choking on cock. What a slut.â Your boyfriend mutters and pulls your skirt and panties down in one tug.Â
âTake it all, and stay there.â Toji uses his free hand to give his thick cock a few experimental pumps before lining it up with your dripping cunt. He shifts the focus of the camera down to where you two are about to be connected. âSo fucking wet, all for me. No one else.â He hisses and shoves his entire cock in all at the same time. âGod damn,â He groans. No words can escape your mouth that donât sound muffled.
The sudden feeling of being filled to the brim with Tojiâs cock was otherworldly. You cry around the sex toy thatâs stuffed down your throat while Toji starts moving. His brutal thrusts make your lower half flash with pleasure every time he hits that sweet spot inside you. âMy baby has the tightest little pussy, doesnât she?â He says all while not slowing down one bit. âOh wait, your mouth is full isnât it?â He laughs. âOnly I can make you feel this good.â His tone was so deep and laced with so much jealousy like you had never heard before.
The gagging and smacking sounds continued and it was all becoming too much. Toji would occasionally angle the camera downwards so Gojo could of course get a full view of his assault on your pussy, and make direct eye contact with you in the mirror while he made you gag and cry.Â
He noticed your body was beginning to show signs of giving out. âAw, baby. Is it too much?â You nodded with your throat full. âYou wanna cum donât you Princess?â A muffled âyesâ was all that came out of your mouth while his tip kissed your cervix with each deep thrust. âGod, Iâm gonna cum to. Cum for me whore.â That was all you needed. Your knees shook and gave out while your orgasm washed over you and your boyfriendâs thrusts became sloppier. The now-soaking toy slipped from your throat as you melted into the bed.Â
âFuck, I came so fucking much,â Toji says and pans the camera down to the mess he made all over your pussy and ends the video.
Send.
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanfic#smut#x reader#gojo satoru#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji smut#toji x reader#toji x you#fushiguro toji#toji zenin#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x self insert#toji zenin x reader#toji zenin x you#toji fushiguro x y/n#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#fushiguro toji x reader#jjk fushiguro#fushiguro x reader#twitter links#jjk satoru#age g4p
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Ëđ Ě !! what is this? boyfriend material.

ââ(ăăâ).á á´ĄĘá´á´ á´Ęá´ ĘĘĘá´ Ęá´Ęs ĘÉŞá´á´ ÉŞÉ´ á´ Ęá´Ęá´á´ÉŞá´É´sĘÉŞá´ á´á´. đˇ
âż â characters: isagi yoichi, chigiri hyoma, reo mikage, nagi seishiro âż â cw: fluff, gn!reader, no pronouns but there are a few 'fem coded' things referenced like make up or skirts, aged-up!characters, established relationships, pet names, kissing, groping, pda, use of foul language, suggestive themes, proofread so many times so if thereâs a typo ill cry âż â notes: this is my first post âŞ(´â˝ď˝) i haven't written stuff like this in a pretty long time so bear with me âšđš this is some hybrid of headcanon and drabble idk
ISAGI YOICHI is a full-fledged bonafide simp...
he suffers from tragic a condition. when heâs not trying? flirting supreme panty dropper. however, when he tries to flirt with someone he likes? bro is fumbling. at first he seems like such an instant charmer. hes a classic gentleman, great listener, and super attractive. but the second he gets an inkling of a crush, he ruins it for himself. stuttering and getting his words mixed up, saying the most embarrassing jumbled combination of what he actually meant to.
follows you around to all your tasks because how else would he spend his free time except hanging with his baby. to sephora, to the grocery store, to the salon, the the ends of the earth if that's where you're heading that day. more than happy to hold onto your hand as you go about your business, rambling about global soccer statistics and looking at you like you hold the world. yoichi is a prideful purse holder too, his arms and pockets and car being full of your belongings makes him insanely happy for some reason he canât put his finger on. always ready to press the lip gloss youâre patting yourself down for into the palm your hand, taking a kiss as payment.
heâs bad at planning dates, so donât put him in charge unless you want to be late to a reservation at a restaurant 2 hours away with mediocre food. heâs good at paying for them though!! the dates he does get to plan are usually to the mall. what can i say, man likes to spoil you.
at the mall isagi can kind of trick you. because typically if he were to offer to buy you a couple hundred dollars worth of things, you would absolutely refuse. buttt if its just one thing from this store and one thing from another, and maybe its the fact that you dont feel the weight of all the items as your boyfriend carries it all, but it flies under your radar. and at some point you look at yoichi⌠and he has a lot of shopping bags. surely some of those were his right? the little pleased love sick smile on his face says otherwise.
its so worth it to isagi tho. he gets to spend time with you, make you happy, be a doting bf. but it also means that he can pick out clothes for you. as generous as he was, he could be a bit of a greedy gifter - never leaving the mall without a new skirt of his choosing. will personally pick out a pile of things he wants you to try on just for him.
once youre with isagi for a few months, he reveals his true colors. man is a serial PDA offender. he just thinks youâre so pretty, and it gives him such an ego boost to be the guy by your side. better hold his hand or its going in your back pocket. leans in under the guise of giving you a quick, generally acceptable peck on the lips⌠but all of a sudden he wants another before you even fully pull away from the first and its all downhill from there. sits on your side of the table at restaurants instead of across from you so he can rest his hand on your thigh and sneak in small squeezes when he thinks youre not paying attention. and be careful about walking in front of him, heâs not strong enough to resist the urge to smack your ass.
if the PDA thing wasnt a dead give away, isagi is just very affectionate in general, honestly has a hard time leaving you alone when youâre in the same room as him. he just gravitates towards you no matter what he was previously doing. very easily distracted, very easy to bribe. heâs the type of guy where when he goes to get out of bed in the morning to go to practice, and you cling to him and ask him for just 5 more minutes, theres nothing that could stop him from sinking right back into your arms. his attendance record has definitely suffered because he is unable to deny you a single thing you ask for, especially if that thing is him.

CHIGIRI HYOMA is taken and makes sure everyone knows itâŚ
hyomaâs partner very quickly becomes his best friend if they werenât before they started dating. itâs not even intentional, but he gets very quickly attached to you. sure, he has a decent amount of friends, but none of them know him like you do. he loves to hear you talk about your life, invested in your daily drama and indulging you with all of his. he likes to hear your input and insights on situations. he takes notes in his phone when he sees things he thinks you would like, or conversations he had that he wants to tell you about. forever surprised by how much he misses you when youâre apart, chigiri is used to not needing anyone the way he needs you. is so much grumpier at matches that have him go abroad without you, texting you often throughout the day, whenever he can get his hands on his phone.
because youâre now his best friend and partner, chigiriâs a bit tied to you at the hip, but he would never admit to being clingy. not that you mind, hanging out with him is fun and surprisingly intimate. he never fails to hold your hand wherever you go or throw an arm around your shoulder. on dates heâll lean in close to your ear to whisper little observations and jokes about the people around, the two of you sharing witty comments and secretive snickers behind your hands. when hanging out with mutual friends, the way yours eyes meet his wordlessly, both holding the same micro expression, indistinguishable to other people, that says âwe are so talking about that laterâ.
speaking of clinging to your side, hyoma can have a bit of a possessive streak at times. i feel like itâs something you donât really expect of him until thereâs a guy flirting with you in a store. the way your boyfriend is at your side before you can even answer, standing at his full height, squaring his shoulders with a sour look on his face, not at all shy about the way his arm snakes around your waist. âtheyâre not interested.â he states plainly, as if it were obvious, but if you payed close attention to him (which you always did), you would notice the distasteful curl of his lip or the venom seeping into his tone or the way his usually gentle fingers hold onto your side with a firm grip.
he doesnât meet your eyes after, already sensing the knowing smirk on your lips. his ears turn red when you break the silence to tell him that green was a good color on him. but, your ever clever boyfriend is quick to reply, âthatâs cute baby, but iâm not jealous. you havenât seen me when iâm jealous.â the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the smug smile he wears reminds you to not test him.
king of matching outfits with you. not in the novelty shirts cheesy way, but he always asks for a fit check before he picks you up on dates. chigiri is outside your apartment within the hour, wearing a jacket that matches the color of your shoes and a sly grin. generally starts to shift his style to be a bit more cohesive with yours, he loves going out and looking like you belong together.
not to mention, matching outfits give him more excuses to take pictures with you. photos of you and him are plastered all over his instagram, your handle in his bio and everything. heâs no amateur either, always able to catch your best side, in perfect lighting. really makes you feel as pretty as he seems to think you are. hyoma is a bit of a show off too, so he gets a bit of an ego boost getting to let everyone know how cute you are, and that youâre all his.
hyoma greatly values the alone time he gets to spend with you. the best part of his week is sitting on the couch as you help him with his hair care routine. you running a mix of the comb and your fingers through his hair as the two of you catch up on the k-drama you started together. your touch and your attention and your warm presence enough to make the stress of a pro soccer career melt off his shoulders. makes you teach him how to do your nails and learns your skin care routine so that he can return the favor, although heâs much better at the latter.

MIKAGE REO is ungodly whipped and more than a little dramaticâŚ
if weâre talking about social media boyfriends, reo is near insufferable. letâs be real, reo was already flexing on the gram before you got with him. constantly posting pictures of his car and expensive watches and exclusive clubs. he just becomes worse when you agree to go out with him. his story is full of aesthetically blurry shots of you, sometimes featuring him, anywhere and everywhere. in his car, on dates, cooking in his kitchen. he even found the audacity to post a picture of you in his bed, your bare back in full frame, the sheets pooled around your waist. âiâm so luckyâ was the caption and the only context provided. unsurprisingly the lifespan of that post was quite short once you caught wind of it, with the assurance that he wouldnât be getting so lucky in the near future.
i totally think reo is the type of guy that tries to act like a fuckboy but is secretly a hopeless romantic. in other words, reo is a huge sapâ˘. has a picture of you in his wallet. youâre his screen saver and all his passwords feature your name. nagi is the last person left that will still listen to reo ramble on about you, all of his other friends having gotten tired of it.
we already know that reo is taking you to fancy dinners on the regular, but more unexpectedly i think he is a big fan of outdoorsy dates. previously mentioned hopeless romantic tendencies means reo loves a picnic way more than he lets on. his favorite is when the summer comes around and he gets to take you to the beach. if reo dies and goes to heaven and it's not you rubbing sunscreen into his warm back in a skimpy swimsuit he picked out for you himself, he's not interested. a close second favorite of his is late night drives with you. all the windows of his luxury sports car down, blasting a playlist the two of you made together, singing loud and ugly down the empty freeway. in these moments you make him feel weightless and he swears itâs addicting.
king of clingy. every time that you feel your phone vibrate, there's a good chance that it's your boyfriend. never with anything important either, asking where you are, how was your day, sending you pics of whatever he is doing, even resorting to imessage games when he runs out of things to talk about. he just always finds himself itching to open your contact. if mikage reo could eat up all of your attention, he would not hesitate to do so.
reo is usually the caretaker. when he obtained status of boyfriend, you automatically went on his list of special people in his life, only really consisting of you and nagi, and this granted you the exclusive privilege of walking all over him if you so please. truly a pushover and weak to your pouts. while weâre on the subject of ways to get him to fold, reo is surprisingly easy to flatter. your compliments are honey to his ears, no matter how many people have said the same to him before. his heart thumps loud in his chest whenever you do any act of service or labor of love for him. just wait for the day you buy this man some flowers. got his hand splayed over his red face, his palm not wide enough to cover his infatuated grin. "they're really for me, babe? god i knew i picked you for a reason.â
reo's feelings for you run extremely deep. scary deep. you make him feel stupid and irrational. he can't think straight, he's impulsive. you have to keep a close eye on him because give reo enough time alone and he'll convince himself that getting your name tattooed across his chest is an amazing idea, a grandiose display of his affection and devotion to you - sick as hell too. god forbid you go on a trip by yourself, there's honestly a decent chance you'll come home to a marriage proposal and explanations on how "no no, don't worry babe, i know its sooner than you expected but i've got it all planned out.â just be glad that up until this point he has resisted the strong urge to drop a fourth of his trust fund on a ring, a price he's more than willing to pay to make you all his.

NAGI SEISHIRO is greedy and will readily take a mile if given an inchâŚ
nagi is⌠new to the whole boyfriend thing to say the least. not to say heâs bad at it or anything, but i imagine that in the beginning of your relationship, things are a bit, for a lack of better words, lukewarm. he struggles a bit with recognizing that the switch from friends to more than friends is more than just the title, letting you completely take the wheel. but his passiveness doesnât last long. not when he canât escape the way you are constantly on his mind. he thought it was overwhelming enough having a crush on you, but now that heâs falling for you itâs on another level. he thinks of you when he first opens his eyes, facing the obnoxious blue light of his phone to send you your daily goodmorning :x . he thinks of you at night, when heâs restlessly fighting to fall asleep before he ultimately caves and facetimes you so that he can drift off to your tired mumbles and even breaths. he thinks of you when practice drags on, the anticipation of seeing you after the only thing keeping him from giving into his exhaustion.
nagi canât get you out of his head for the life of him, but to be fair he doesnât put up much of a fight. seishiro is used to getting what he wants, so what does he do when his desire for you becomes a hassle? he makes it your problem. constantly calling you and asking you to pick him up from social functions because he misses you. insisting that he stays the night at your place or that you come to his because he needs his daily dose of you. and he doesnât have the shame to be shy of telling you everything on his mind either. he unintentionally says very flustering things, unabashedly demanding your touch and your company, no matter who is listening. itâs your fault heâs like this after all, you might as well take responsibility and give him what he wants.
and what he wants is affection from you, as much as he can get. serishiro is mesmerized by your reactions. being in love with you is uncharted territory that he maps out with piqued curiosity and newfound greed. especially kissing. once nagi gets his first taste of kissing you for real, messy and needy and drawn out, he never wants to go back. not after seeing your red face, eyes lidded and lips parted so cutely he just has to steal one more. now his day dreams revolve around you, what flavor of chapstick youâre wearing, what perfume do you have on, are you thinking of him as much as he does you? thats one thing he never really finds the courage to ask, but that he secretly hopes is true.
he loves to find things you can work on together, even if you always end up being the one putting in more effort. nagi will insist on cooking dinner together, and maybe you get his help for a good 10 minutes before heâs slumped in a seat at the counter eating the ingredients. buys tons of lego sets for the two of you to put together and while youâre following the instructions, heâs stealing pieces you need so he can build a little car to push around the table while he watches you figure it out. heâll even settle for a puzzle and a movie, but your out of luck if you expect him to do anything but the edges.
the lazy genius only really has the time and energy to have a couple of important people in his life, but once you make it into that inner circle, that shit is permanent as far as heâs concerned. it begins with him telling you that it only makes sense to leave some clothes at his apartment, youâre at his place half the week anyway. and then its him smuggling over your favorite pillows and stuffed animals to his bed instead of yours. then heâs asking you to go grocery shopping with him every week. the jokes he makes about the fact that, âyou keep all your stuff here anyway. just move in with me already,â are far too frequent to be subtle. but when he hits you with the puppy eyes, which are annoyingly effective, how could you say no?
youâve put yourself in his orbit after all and now the solar system that is nagi seishiro will use his gravity to pull you inevitably closer. itâs doomed.


is my bias obvious?? cuz i feel like it might be⌠lmk which one was your favorite!!
Š 2023 hyomaslut. please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content onto any other sites.
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#chigiri x reader#blue lock fluff#blue lock headcanons#isagi x reader#chigiri hyoma x reader#mikage reo x reader#nagi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#reo x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#gn reader#bllk#blue lock imagine#blue lock drabbles#reblog divider credit @cafekitsune#miwa writes
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Hii!! I would have a request if it's ok...
So- I was thinking.. could you do one of the (or all separately) turtles with s/o that is.. kind of autistic, and their special interest are turtles, and they know absolutely ton of fun facts and know their anatomy very well and stuff
And maybe that would be the reason why they didn't freak out when they met em
Yeah anyways, thank you very much!!
Heyyy! Lifeâs been kinda crazy lately, so sorry I havenât been around much! Iâve been writing some stuff for you guys when I get a chance tho! Btw, I freaking love this idea!
ROTTMNT boys with an S/O who knows everything about turtles
Rise!Leonardo (Red-Eared Slider)
â˘When you first meet him, Leoâs fully braced for the usual mix of panic, screaming, or fainting.
â˘But instead, you look him up and down and immediately say, âOh wow, youâre a red-eared slider, right? The stripes on your face are a giveaway.â
â˘He freezes. âUh⌠yeah? How do youâŚ?â
â˘Cue you info-dumping about red-eared sliders being semi-aquatic, thriving in slow-moving water, how they bask to thermoregulate, and how some males vibrate their claws during mating displaysâ
â˘âWAITâhold onâare you calling me flirty or just biologically accurate??â
â˘You tell him youâve been obsessed with turtles since you were five, and Leo just falls in love a little on the spot.
â˘You literally never panic around them, and it makes Leo feel seen. Like⌠you met him as he is and you were just excited.
â˘He starts asking you about turtle trivia. Sometimes heâll quiz you in battle just to distract you from danger (âWhatâs the average lifespan of a slider again?!â â20 to 40 years depending on habitatâwait, Leo, DUCK!â)
â˘He starts using turtle facts as cheesy flirting. âYou know, some turtles can breathe through their butts. Not me though. But if I could, Iâd only do it for you.â
Rise!Raphael (Snapping Turtle)
â˘Raph is so used to people being scared of him. Heâs massive, heâs spiky, heâs got that intimidating edge.
â˘But when you meet him, you just kind of⌠blink up at him and say softly, âYouâre a common snapping turtle, right?â
â˘Raph is baffled. âHowâd youââ
â˘And suddenly youâre lighting up as you start talking about the ridged shell, the prehistoric jaw shape, and how snappers have powerful necks with lightning-fast strikes.
â˘He kind of⌠melts? Like heâs never had anyone recognize his species in a way that wasnât fearful.
â˘You add, âBut youâre way friendlier than a snapper usually is. Youâre like⌠a gentle tank.â
â˘And Raph just turns red. No oneâs ever used âgentleâ and âsnapping turtleâ in the same sentence for him before.
â˘Heâs super protective of your special interest. He learns to spot when youâre overwhelmed and helps ground you by letting you gently touch his shell (you tell him the name of each scute and he listens like youâre reciting poetry).
Rise!Donatello (Softshell Turtle)
â˘Donnie thinks heâs prepared for anything. But when you first meet and donât flinch or stare, just go, âA softshell! Iâve never seen a living Apalone spinifera so close before!â
â˘His brain short-circuits.
â˘You immediately launch into the unique adaptations of softshells: how theyâre built for speed, their snorkel-like noses, their leathery skin, andâof courseâhow sensitive they are to touch and water quality.
â˘Donnie: ââŚAre you flirting with me through turtle taxonomy?â
â˘You: âNo, I just like turtles.â
â˘You: ââŚBut also, yes.â
â˘He lowkey records your turtle info-dumps and listens to them when he needs to self-regulate.
â˘You start helping him upgrade his tech with ideas inspired by actual turtle physiology (like better humidity sensors in his suit to mimic softshell needs).
â˘You two go off on wild biology tangents for hours and the others canât get a word in.
â˘âDonnie, did you know some turtles can absorb oxygen through their cloaca?â
â˘âBabe, if I had a cloacal respiration system, Iâd be unstoppable.â
Rise!Michelangelo (Box Turtle)
â˘Mikey finds you in the lair just casually reading a book titled âTurtles of North Americaâ and doesnât think much of it.
â˘Until you look at him and go, âOh wow, a box turtle. That explains the domed shell! Youâre like a walking tank!â
â˘He GASPSââYou KNOW what kind of turtle I am???â
â˘You happily rattle off facts about box turtles: their hinged shells, how theyâre land-based but still need humid environments, how they can close up completely inside their shellsâ
â˘Mikey demonstrates immediately and gets stuck. âBabe, help. The shell got me.â
â˘You gently help him wiggle out and heâs like this is love.
â˘He starts calling you his shell-mate.
â˘You two start a shared turtle scrapbook where you paste pictures, drawings, and funny facts. Mikey adds stickers. You add footnotes.
â˘You have a habit of using turtle anatomy metaphors when talking to himâlike âdonât retreat into your shellâ or âyour plastronâs showingâ (when heâs being vulnerable).
â˘He responds by lifting your mood with turtle puns 24/7: âYouâre turtley amazing,â âShell yeah,â âYouâre the snap to my crackle.â
#tmnt mikey#tmnt headcanons#tmnt leonardo#tmnt#tmnt raphael#tmnt x reader#rise of the tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt donatello#rottmnt headcanons#rotttmnt#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt michelangelo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt x you
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