#/ I'm sorry nick you don't deserve the screams

[ask-the-shiny-pokemons]

greedentstripes asked

(Nick to Linda) What does C stand for? Is it your first initial?

“Stupid Greedent... YOU DON’T KNOW CHEREN HIGH??? It’s a famous school in Unova! It is named after a human who was also a Normal-type Gym Leader!!! My species are also part Normal-type! Ugh...!!!” She screams at Nick, because she does not know that school is not really famous at all.

“WH-what am I doing??? I’m gonna make little fella cry…” She did realize what she did because screaming isn't an option to explain.

[ @greedentstripes ]

[liiixsturniolos]

in desperate need of a matt angst fic with a happy ending

like maybe you guys fight because he’s been an ass all day and once he makes you cry he feels bad and makes it up to you. like something suuuuper angsty

you ask, I deliver 🙏

౨ৎ Flowers ౨ৎ

dad!matt sturniolo x reader warnings!: angst, fluff

summary: Matts giving you attitude all day, until he realises how wrong he was, apologises and makes it up to you.

Matt almost storms into the room, his boots slamming against the ground.

"Matt. Will you stop stomping? I just put Addy to bed!" You scold him.

He ignores you and walks past you as if you weren't there.

"Matt!?" You yell.

"Fuck! What?" He screams back.

Your eyes widen in shock at the way he spoke to you.

"Matt? What's wrong..?" You lower your voice, tilting your head slightly, questioning him

"Nothing, God." He scoffs, walking away from you, into the backyard.

You slump down onto the couch. turned on the TV and ignored whatever Matt was doing in the yard, just to be disrupted by your daughter Addy's cries. You lift yourself up from the couch and go to settle her back to sleep. Once she falls asleep again, you tip-toe back down the stairs.

Matt comes back into the house. You turn your head to look at him. His face, still angry and irritated.

"Where are those new pegs I bought?" He grunts, raiding the kitchen looking for them.

"Pegs?" You ask.

"Yeah, pegs for my bike?" He says In a dull tone, as If you should've known what he meant.

"Oh, I'm not sure. Did you check the garage?" You suggest

"Obviously, I checked the garage." He mumbles.

Your face goes red, and your jaw tenses up. Who does he think he is talking to? Does he think your fucking stupid? You've done nothing to piss him off, but for some reason, he's taking all his anger out on you.

"Matt, what's all this attitude about?" You ask, your eyes glaring at him.

He doesn't even look up at you to respond but keeps opening up kitchen cupboards looking for his motorcycle pegs. "What attitude?"

"Matt, are you kidding. You're talking to me as if I'm dumb, and you ignored me earlier." You bark back at him.

"God, stop nagging me.." he says, instantly regretting it and looking up at your face in fear of how you'll respond.

You sigh in disbelief. Roll your eyes, and walk upstairs to your daughters room.

"Shit..." Matt whispers to himself. He knew how he was acting. He knew he was in the wrong.

He flung his boots off and ran up the stairs after you. You see him follow after you and just scoff in response, lifting your daughter up out of her crib.

"I'm sorry. I know I was an asshole. Fuck. I shouldn't have been. Just my bike was pissing me off. I can't seem to fix it, and Nick and I argued yesterday. That's still playing on my mind. I'm sorry. Kay? I was rude." He blurts out, remorseful, raising his eyebrows and looking at you, hoping you'll forgive him.

"Okay. Just tell me what's wrong next time. You don't gotta' be so secretive about what's making you mad." You advise him, slowly rocking Addy back to sleep.

"Can I take her?" He asks you. "You deserve to sit down a while, I know I've been in the garage all day. It's my turn." He says softly.

"Yeah, of course." You smile sweetly, heading downstairs to go and finally watch TV.

Matt stays in Addys room, holding her and gently rocking her while singing to her quietly. When she falls asleep again, he places her back into her crib and strolls down the stairs.

"I'm gonna go out to the store. Do you want anything?" He whispers to you.

"Yeah, chocolate?" You smirk

"Of course." He says.

Twenty minutes later, you hear the car pull up on the driveway, and Matts key is unlocking the door.

"Hey darlin!" Matt shouts from the door.

"Hey!" You respond.

He walks over, hands you your favourite chocolate, and a bouquet of flowers.

"Aw! Thank you, sweetie!" You exclaim

He hugs you tight and lays soft kisses along your neck.

You let out quiet gasps as he works his way down with the kisses, tossing the flowers in your hands to the side...

part two..? if you enjoyed this, please interact! (comments, likes, reblogs, are all super appreciated) thank you! comment on any post and ask to be on my taglist and ill add you!

taglist: @matthewsroses @chrislilcumslvt @pvssychicken @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh

[reader-lola]

Annoying screams

Chris Sturniolo Based on the last video (Making gifts for fans) Warnings: +18, oral (male receives), female masturbation, sexual intercourse, no reference to condom. Let me know if you see any more

Links X: 1 , 2

You were in your boyfriend Chris's room. You were trying to read, but the screams coming from the kitchen weren't letting you concentrate. You knew your boyfriend was very loud and yelled a lot, but this time he was going overboard. “We're just going to record the invitations for the fans. We won't bother you.”

I missed the first few screams, knowing Chris it was usual for him. But there came a time when all you could hear was him yelling without actually saying anything coherent. I tried to concentrate on the book. I looked through the pages. I dwelled on the rest of the chapter. I repeated the same paragraph I had been reading for 15 minutes until I gave up and closed it. I focused on my phone for the rest of the time. “Hey mom, what are you doing with your phone? Did you finish the book?” Chris's voice brought me out of my trance. I turned off my phone and with a louder voice than expected I faced him. “I tried that, Owen, but by a strange coincidence, a boy kept yelling in the kitchen. I tried to read, but someone made it an impossible task for me. It was impossible because you, young man, NEVER STOP YELLING” “Take it down a notch with me, girl, or I'll have to put you in your place” “No, I'm sorry, you're going to apologize to me for not letting me read, it wasn't that hard to say nice things to your fans instead of yelling at them and, by the way, letting me read” “Okay, you've gone too far, let's see if you're capable of keeping quiet”

Without warning, he grabbed me by the hair and, without any care, he pushed me against the door “Let's see, you yelled at me, you answered me back, and you spoke badly to me. You deserve a punishment” “It's not true, I didn't do that” “And now we add that you lie to me and contradict me. Honey, if you don't want to make it worse, you better shut up.” With one hand he supported my head against the door and with the other he pulled down my pants and thong in the process. Without time to react he put two of his fingers inside me causing a loud moan from me. “You're going to have to shut up if you don't want to be heard. From what I understand Matt and Nick are going to be in the living room watching TV.” His fingers went in and out of my pussy causing me an incredible feeling of pleasure. My legs trembled as I noticed the imminent release, but then his fingers stopped. “No, Chris, please.” “If you ask me like that I'm not going to do anything else.” “Daddy, please.” I whimpered at the need of his fingers dancing inside me. “I told you that you needed a punishment, on your knees.” Without hesitation I got on my knees and as soon as he pulled out his member I didn't hesitate to suck it, choking in the process. His hand grabbed my hair marking the rhythm he had to follow. As I sucked I couldn't help but look up, meeting his blue eyes that gave me a satisfied look, making me feel grateful for being able to eat him. At times I heard small sighs coming out of his lips at the sensation I was feeling. “God, I can't take it anymore.” He pushed me away from his member and in the blink of an eye I had him on top of me. He quickly took off my shirt and mine. He placed his member at my entrance. “I should teach you a lesson and not let you cum,” he said, slowly entering me. I could feel the sensation of his body fitting perfectly with mine. The sensation of his veins entering my interior. “You deserve a punishment for the way you spoke to me. But now I simply need to have you. Feel you.” His thrusts began slowly as I adapted to his size. But they gradually increased in pace. My hands grabbed his back, scratching it as a way of releasing the sensation that was consuming me. Chris' lips traveled to my neck where he started sucking, I'd probably have a mark there tomorrow. “Daddy, I can't take it anymore.” “What do you want?” “Let me cum, please.” “Cum for me, princess.”

[ribread03]

Shower. c.sturniolo

You and Chris decide to take a shower together after you've had a long day with the "pampering" of his fans.

warnings: slight depression, overthinking, getting threats (small tho), breaking down (crying), just being sad overall, showering together, kissing, lots of fluff

use of y/n, babe, love, ma

WC:1651

AN: just thought of this while in the shower so I'ma write it real quick while I'm still thinking about it lol. there isn't that much dialog

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Pulling up into the driveway of yours and Chris' house that you share with his brothers you sigh, not expecting what to walk in on. you've already had a long day at work and you just want to get into the shower and relax in bed.

When you walk into the house you hear screaming and what sounded like a fork being thrown across the room. You take a deep breath and walk farther into the house not expecting to see Chris, Matt, and Nick all sharing a drink. You stand there and smile to yourself from behind the camera.

Your relationship with Chris is public and has been for about two weeks, you guys have been dating for a little over a year and thought it would be a good time to share the love you have for each other. It went smoothly for a bit with all of the fans being happy for you guys and them being happy that Chris was happy. But that slowly turned and you started to get some hate from the few that didn't quite love that you are Chris' girlfriend. Now it's weighing on you and you're starting to overthink things and know that you need to talk to Chris tonight.

You start to walk to your and Chris' shared bedroom to get changed when Chris pulls you into frame for you to say hi. "Hi guys!" you say with a big smile on your face trying to hide the fact that you didn't want to be in the video today after getting small threats you still put on a brave face and smile for the camera. Giving Chris a small kiss on the cheek you head to your room.

--

Once the boys are done filming Chris comes to find you. He finds you in one of his fresh love hoodies and shorts in a ball on the bed wrapped tight in the sheets. He walks over to you with a concerned look on his face and bends down to see what was going on.

"What's up baby?" He asks. "Wait- why are you crying?" asking now more concerned.

"I- Its nothing, really." You say slightly stumbling on your words.

"I can tell its not ma." He pauses for a moment. "Please tell me what up and what I can do to help."

You sit and think about telling him what's really going on or just saying you're tired, but end up telling him everything. "I-It's just since.. since we've told people about being together it's" You stop sitting up more before continuing. "Its been dif-different online."

"What do you mean "different" y/n/n?"

"Like I've been getting some small threats-"

Chris cuts you off, not letting you continue before grabbing your hands, pulling you into a hug. This is when you break down completely, letting it all out into his chest, small sobs escaping your mouth, tears falling down your face and you pull back he gives you a gentle smile and a quick peck on the lips.

"Ill handle it don't worry about the crazy bitches who think you don't deserve me. You are the best thing that has happened to me, over all of the fans. You. You are my number.." he stops and thinks "You're my number three." you stare at him blankly "Matt and Nick." he says and you giggle a little. "There is no one I want more than you and know one I love more than you."

You smile at him and pull him into a kiss. Smiling as you guys pull apart you start to speak before he quickly kisses you again. "Sorry" he says. "They just look so kissable" he has a shit eating grin across his face.

"Can we take a shower together?" you ask your voice slightly cracking.

"Sure love. Let me go get the shower started." he starts to walk across the room to his bathroom. "Water temperature?"

"As hot as hell its self please" you ask with a small smile forming on your lips. You love when Chris takes care of you even if its as simple as taking a shower together.

Once the water was hot Chris came back out with just his pants on. "Waters hot, like supper supper hot. just how you like it." He says as he pulls you into the bathroom filled with steam. You can feel your body relaxing already.

Chris comes up behind you and pulls you into an embrace. He starts to take your shirt off. Helping you get undressed. You let him help you, taking your pants off to speed up the process. Once your fully undressed you can feel Chris staring at you from behind. You spin to look at him, giving him a look that makes his lips go into a straight line. He just nods understanding that you're not in the mood tonight.

"Lets just get in." you say walking over opening the shower door letting more steam out. Chris not too far behind you.

Stepping into the shower you and Chris find your comfortable spots, him behind you, you right under the water soaking it all in. You feel an arm reach the shampoo on the right of you. Hearing the cap open you step aside so Chris can get his hair wet but he just pulls you back under the water. Looking over your shoulder you notice that he grabbed your shampoo.

"Chris what-" You start to say before he cuts you off.

"Just let me. I feel bad this whole going public was my idea and now your getting backlash for it."

"Ok." You say stepping back so just your head is now not getting hit by water so he can start washing it.

Hearing the cap open you prepare yourself for the cold shampoo to hit your head. Once Chris put his fingers on your scalp you relaxed even more into him. Now fully leaning your back against his chest closing your eyes as he does all the work. Feeling him massage your head was the best feeling in the world.

Chris knew that you loved when someone played with your hair so he made sure to take his time in each spot before moving on. Once he took his hands off your head you groaned at the loss of contact and slowly spun to start washing the shampoo out of your head. Chris giving you a quick kiss helped you wash the soap out of your hair.

Once done that he started putting conditioner in your hair. "remember only the ends." You remind him. He hums in response liking the comfortable silence that filled the room. Just the sound of the water hitting your bodies and the floor.

This time Chris spun you around washing the conditioner out of your hair, making sure to get it all before turning the shower off and stepping out to grab a towel for himself then for you.

"Chris you didn't even wash yourself." You kinda state kinda ask.

"I dont need to. I showered before you came home."

"Oh ok" You say to him as he wraps you up in the plush towel. You snuggle into it before walking back into the room.

"Here, take these." He says while walking to his side of the closet pulling down his favorite pair of sweats and a nice sweatshirt he knows you love.

You smile while you grab them putting them on and climbing into bed. "You coming?" questioning why he was starting to walk to the door.

"Yeah, one second." He starts walking out the door. "I have to do one thing"

"Ok, I'll be here" You tell him smiling. He returns the smile back to you before closing the door.

~~

Its been five minutes since Chris has left the room and your starting to wonder what he is doing. As if he could read your mind he opened the door with a smile on his face, phone in hand. "What did you do" you asked him.

He didn't answer you all he did was hand you his phone that was playing a video of him, Matt, and Nick all together talking. You turn the phone up and hear Nick say "If we hear someone is sending threats to y/n again we will All" He says waving his finger around pointing at the three of them on the couch. "Block you from every form of social media we have." He finishes his statement with a quick smile but his eyes dark from anger.

You look up from the phone with slight tears prickling your eyes, feeling so loved by each of the boys. The fact they would go as far as finding the person and blocking them meant the world to you. You let a sob escape from your lips and Chris looks down to see you laughing and crying at the same time.

Chris climbs on to the bed resting his head on you. You look at him a kiss him out of the blue "As a thank you." You say when you pull back to find a surprised Chris looking back at you. You giggle when you see his kiddish smile form. "I love you so much Chris, thank you for doing that." You pause "and tell Matt and Nick I said that you as well."

"You're welcome y/n" comes from behind the door. You start to laugh as you cant believe they were eavesdropping on you, but you thought it was cute.

~~

A few hours later you and Chris are passed out tangled in each other's bodies and embrace. Your favorite way to sleep, next to the person you loved the most, the person who care so much about you sleeping with his head on your chest, snoring slightly, cute little noises coming from him as he dreams. Your absolute favorite.

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AN: pt2: I hope you guys liked this! this was my first time writing for than some head cannons. this took me like two hours the write and I feel like it was supper cute and the end is just *chefs kiss*

[lisacomeuseucu]

Curses Ending

• Fear Street . 1978 - "I swear, if I could I would change their story, I would try to make them live" That's what she told herself.

I honestly thought this chapter would be shorter, there would be so many different things that I decided to change to make it shorter. Anyway, I apologize for any spelling errors. :)

I hate what I've become, the nightmare has just begun. I've been walking in this forest for about a few minutes, I don't know for sure, I lost track of time. My clothes got more torn because of the tree branches getting stuck but that doesn't matter what really makes me relieved is the fact that I didn't find any Shadyside in the forest, rather none of the children, I hope I don't find one in the end . I managed to make myself run as much as I could when I was conscious but now the only thing I can have some control over is my speech. I thought of a perfect way to attack Nick, he got dirty with the blood of several victims and that made Tommy hit him in the leg, unfortunately I already know that I will have to sacrifice children to be able to save others, that's not fair, that makes me sad. Looking around me I see that the trees are now less crowded which means I'm getting closer to the camp. Tommy. Cindy. Alice. Get out of this damn caverns as quickly as possible and kill me before it's you. Just a small sacrifice. I feel my left foot hit something making me almost fall, I balance myself again and look at the ground. It's a stupid rock. I ignore it, I start walking again but feeling a little pain from the crash, great, not ironically that's great, making it difficult for my body can help them gain more time! I can see a little of the camp here, that's terrible. Oh shit, shit! This is the cabin where Jeremy stays!! No no!! For the love of God, turn in another direction! This damn body that I can't control, please Jeremy, don't you be there, don't arrest those kids from Sunnyvale, please just confirm these lies for me! I'm getting closer and closer to the cabin and through the window I can see that Jeremy has spotted the other lake group from outside his cabin, I might be competent enough to kill this group, right? Jeremy kicks the door open and looks around just looking for someone when the boys come out of the dark throwing eggs calling him a nerd and quickly they enter the cabin saving the rest of their prisoner team, poor Jeremy tries to make them listen. — " Hey! That's not fair! No!! Hey Hey!! Dude.. " He swings his arms and wipes his egg-stained face and glasses, without me realizing I'm in front of the cabin and Jeremy is turning back, when he turns around he sees me, all bloody and dirty with branches and dirt, I feel my eyes filling with tears. — " Y/n? " He calls me confused. Stay away from me, the beast is ugly. I enter the hut holding the ax firmly and quickly attack it in the face, giving several blows. Jeremy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!! You're a good boy, you didn't deserve to be going through this! You didn't deserve to die at the hands of someone you had your first crush on, for someone who always praised and supported you,I'm sorry for making you go through all this suffering of death, first you feel pain and then emptiness, right? I gave it as it is, this is too painful for a simple little boy. Seeing the final state of the body, no, this is no longer a body. I sliced ​​this boy into pieces, scratched his arms, opened his chest, disfigured his face and tore off his head, I can see a bit of his brain because of the entrances and I see his bones all broken. I feel my stomach turn at this sight, a tear falls from my eyes and rolls down my face, I leave the cabin and return to my search. You deserved to live, Jeremy. I feel the anger and I just can't hold it back.

Even though I'm far from the place I can hear the screams of the crowd of people who gathered just to discover the body, I try not to look back so I don't have to deal with this scene but I can hear Nick ordering everyone to go to the cafeteria, just hearing his voice I wanted for a moment to turn around, but I'm not stupid, not at that level. As I'm walking a quick view of all the Shadyside killers, all the deaths they cause and lastly was me, killing Arnie. I catch the breath I lost for a moment, Alice must have touched that disgusting pile of meat, I'm sorry you saw that. Alice, just please don't hate me. I hear Gary knocking on the sign trying to get everyone's attention at the camp, he also shouts, Nick must now be counting the number of people, wait, Joan and Kurt. Joan, you idiot, if I find you and you had sex with Kurt, I will kill you! Not in the literal sense, but unfortunately I will. I see Kurt's cottage and his window is open which gave me a vision of Joan, well, I can even hear her moaning from afar, she is wearing a blue blouse and lit a joint in the few seconds she was forced to put it out because of Kurt, I enter the chalet without the two of them hearing but I leave the door half open and then I see Joan walking past me realizing that someone had entered her partner's room. When she turns back she notices me. — " Y/n?! " Joan asks, surprised to see me like this, when she gets closer she lets out a scream and I hit her in the chest and head, I close my eyes tightly and quickly leave the place. Sorry Joan. I can feel it beneath my skin. I must confess, I feel like a monster.

I open my eyes and look around looking for more people, I shouldn't have killed them both, I could have just killed one person and waited for Nick to get dirty but I'm sure not an employee, as much as I wanted it to be that way . I don't deserve forgiveness. Everyone deals with Shadyside in their own way, like Alice said. I hear Ziggy shouting at Nick trying to remember Sheila, the bathroom scene! Maybe I can change that! I feel my face give a shaky smile, maybe I still have a little control, I notice a light coming from one of the cabins, the arts one, my damn time has come. My body walks towards the hut, the flame goes out once but is lit again, giving both of them the view of me at the entrance, I'm sorry, another tear falls down my face. — " Monitor Y/n? " The girl questions me but I don't answer, I just hit her body with several blows from the axe, I have no light, I don't see what I'm doing but I know I'm being cruel to them. Your screams of pain. Agony. Despair surrounds me. I will never forget them. I'd rather die than live a lifetime dealing with this, dealing with the weight of these deaths. Why doesn't anyone come and save me from this? This is breaking me. Outside the cabin I see Ziggy going to the bathroom to help Sheila, if I could I would kill this girl, automatically my body starts walking towards the bathroom, I hear Ziggy fighting with Sheila, she begs to be heard and then punches her face after being slapped. Gary entered the bathroom as he also heard the sounds of the fight. Cindy, Alice and Tommy started screaming for help! Thank God you are okay! My face has a bad smile but it's better than the previous one, that means I have more control, wonderful! — " My sister is deprived! " Ziggy says to Gary, is she so loud that I heard her from a few meters away? But I wanted to laugh at that line, Nick must already be finding Kurt's body, now I can kill this bastard. I start to take my first steps entering the bathroom and I feel a great adrenaline invade my body. I like adrenaline. When Alice was about to leave that cave I enter the bathroom holding the ax with both hands, Gary looks at me but before I could think of what to do I hit him in the neck, ripping his head off and making his blood spurt, Ziggy screams Upon seeing the scene, Alice falls and Gary's body is taken with her, leaving only his head in the bathroom, and upon seeing the corpse, all three scream. A scared Ziggy starts to move away from me but I scream shakily.

— " No!! Do not go!! " Which makes her more scared and surprised which results in her looking at me confused, Tommy must have heard me because he was the first to stay silent, I start walking towards Ziggy holding the ax in one hand. I look at her from top to bottom with sadness, I place my hand on her cheek and move it down to her neck, lifting her chin, I feel her swallow dry for fear that I will choke her. — " Ziggy...! " I say sadly happily, I managed to smile easily, I feel my eyes filling with more tears. — " Please just kill me. " I ask her trying to hold back my tears but some escape, Ziggy looks at me stunned and starts to shake her head and say. — " No no! I can't! You-" I interrupted her. — " You can! Just take that damn ax and hit me in the head! There is no escape for me, he wants my soul, my heart." I say while he's still disagreeing with me. — " You will come out alive, with the one you love and you will be very happy, just say that I was to blame for everything! " I say but Ziggy lets out a scream. — " No!! " This makes Cindy start to scream even more worried, I can hear that she is crying. — " I can't kill the only good person I have left! " I open my mouth to speak but I hit myself with a punch in the face, making me fall to the ground, I feel my consciousness fading and my vision darkening until I can't hear anything anymore.

__________________________★___________________________

I start to open my eyes, my body is wet and someone calls my name, slapping me lightly on the cheek, my vision gets used to the light and I can see the person in front of me, it's Sarah Fier! — " Sarah? " I call her confused, she lets out a smile of relief when she hears me. — " Thank God! I thought she had died! " She answers me and hugs me, even though I'm wet, her hug is strong. — " What happened? " I question her confused, I have no memory of what happened before I woke up, she loosens the hug and looks at me. — " We were walking together when you decided to play walking on the river rocks, I warned you it was dangerous but you didn't listen to me and that was when you fell into the water and hit your head, for a moment I thought you had died. " She explains the events to me and a flash comes into my head, she was telling the truth, I look at her and give a weak smile. — " No, sorry, I should have listened to you. " I asked her for forgiveness and the answer was her laughing and getting me up. — " Now come on, I have to hand this brat over to Solomon. " She says with a smile on her face, walking again and I follow her. — " With those clothes all wet? I'd better stay outside waiting for the sun to dry me. " I just told her about my situation with the outfits and received a sweet laugh from her in response. When we arrive at Solomon's residence, I sit on a rock so I can dry myself, as I was dry the whole way here, Sarah looks at me but continues entering the house, I look at the two tombs next to me , wife and son, it was a sad tragedy. I see Sarah leaving the house and Solomon is standing there at the door watching her leave until he notices my presence. — " I thought mermaids liked water. " He mocks me, I roll my eyes laughing at his joke. — " I catch the fish, I'm not one of them! " I respond and link my arms with Sarah's, I see the girl laughing at me and I slap her on the shoulder making her laugh.

We are back in the village, I nod to some people as a way of greeting, I see Thomas walking drunk until his eyes find me and he comes towards me. Sarah sighs in irritation. Thomas comes close to me and starts to say. — " Did the mermaid just feed on another fisherman? " He asks teasing me. — " I would never eat my own father. " I return it in kind, the drunk smiles, I use my hand to place it on his chest and push him away. Continuing to walk with Sarah I see the woman roll her eyes and look at me. — " Why do they call you a mermaid so much? " He questions me curiously. — " Maybe because of my appearance, or just because I'm a fisherman and the only thing I do is scare men away from my targets. I don't like sharing my food. " I respond with my nose in the air and throw a sarcastic look at the brunette, she smiles. I leave her at the door of her house and wave goodbye, I walk towards my house and see my father looking at our plantation, I open the fence door and enter the garden and say to my father: — " Not going fishing today? " Caught by surprise, he turns to me and smiles before responding. — " Later, the fish should still be waking up. Your mother must need help, better come in. " He suggests and I nod my head in agreement as I enter the house, finding my mother preparing our food, too distracted to notice me. — " Need help? " I ask her. — " Take the carrots and cut them for me. " He orders and I obey, taking the knife and carrots, I feel the older girl look at me and turn her focus back to the food. — " You're going out tonight, aren't you? " My blood runs cold at her sudden question, how did she find out? I stutter before speaking. — " N-No! Why do you think that? " I question her, trying not to seem nervous. — " There's no need to worry, I've done this too, just be discreet and don't make any noise so as not to wake your father. " She answers me, looking into my eyes, I breathe a sigh of relief and give a smile of thanks.

The waters of the river touch my feet, it's afternoon and my father gave me permission so I could stay a little longer in the river, I'll take the opportunity to bathe for the meeting I'll have at dusk. I remove my clothes starting with the blouse, untying it, taking my big skirt off my hips, being totally naked I slowly enter the water hugging her with passion. I go in and out to the surface to catch my breath. I swim as if I were dancing around a fire, the feeling of being alone is only with what I connect with. — " Are you trying to seduce me? " I'm startled by the male voice and I turn my head towards him, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that it's Thomas, he's not the best person to meet but he's better than anyone else, I run my hand through my hair and look at him. — " Do you feel seduced? " I provoke him. — " Perhaps. " He responds making me laugh. — " So let's say yes. " He comes closer to the river's edge. — " We are not married, Y/n, I have to resist carnal desires. " He tries to provoke me again but that only makes me laugh again, I look at him, we stay for a few seconds looking at each other intensely, his eyes are as clear as these waters, his hair is blonde but with this dirt it is darkened, his beard is grown but this It just adds more charm. — " You're dirty, go in and take a shower. " I make a bold offer, his eyes widen in surprise but a mischievous smile soon appears on his face. — " It's a tempting offer, you're wicked, y/n. " I roll my eyes and respond: — " I'm being generous with you, I don't like sharing. " I correct him, I turn my back so he can undress, the noise of his clothes being removed and thrown away becomes dark, the water begins to move with his movements, his body is increasingly closer to me and when he was very close I pull away and turn towards him. — " I'm not easy prey, try to catch me. " I encourage him, I start to walk in circles around him but he enters the water, taking me by surprise. I look around for his presence when I'm caught underneath, I let out a startled scream and look at his face, which shows amusement. — " I achieved. " He responds by whispering in my ear, a smile appears on my lips and I look at him. — " You got me. " I say, he doesn't answer me, we start looking at each other, his eyes go from mine to my lips and back, I look at his left eye and then at his right and I look down at his lips, which look so tempting. A strange tension has arisen between us, it's so exciting, I don't know when we started to get closer but his face is inches from mine, I place my hand on his cheek and pull him into a slow and passionate kiss, it would be strange to confess that I have a crush by drunk Thomas, his hands go to my waist pulling me closer,We pull away to catch our breath but he returns with a more intense kiss.

I find myself in my room looking at the window waiting for nightfall, I see if Sarah and the others have already left their house, when I notice some people leaving, I see my hood and I leave my room, going down the stairs in silence at the entrance to the house, I close it. the door and go out towards the girls. We are walking through the forest in search of the widow, a long walk. — " The fruits allow us to see a world beyond our own. Just with one bite. " Lizzie told us. — " Why does an old woman need this? " Sarah questions Lizzie. — " She is not just any old woman, the widow is a thousand years old! She drinks the blood of virgins to keep her young. " Lizzie says something curious which makes Sarah smile before saying ironically. — " Then you are saved. " Lizzie looks at Sara, Sarah laughs and then looks at Hannah. — " The widow sacrificed her husband to become the devil's bride, that's how she gained eternal life. " Lizzie talks more about the widow, making me curious. — " Solomon told me that she lives with the natives, and that she even fell in love with one of them. " I say looking at the floor remembering this fact told to me. — " for this she was exiled, and also learned their medicine. Solomon told me. " Sarah says, making me pay attention to every word she says. Sarah closes her expression a little before returning. — " He took his wife to her after losing his son but.. it was too late. " She says sadly, I feel sorry for everything he went through, Hannah looks at the road and then looks at Lizzie and says: — " Are you sure this is the right way? How do you know where we're going? " The blonde questions her, making her stop walking and turn towards us. — " I've been here before, remember when Abigail had the ring on fire? " She remembers us, making everyone laugh. — " She was scratching herself like a dog during my father's sermon. My mother said she had slept with the devil, the devil's gift. " Hannah tells us. — " She's more like crazy Thomas' present. " Sarah speaks sarcastically but I remain silent at the comment, maybe I felt a little jealous, maybe I rolled my eyes a little, just maybe. — " Whoever Abigail was made me accompany her to the widow. " Lizzie says making us walk again. — " And the widow healed with witchcraft? " Hannah asks her curiously. — " Yes, witchcraft, and a smelly paste made for bitches like Abigail Berman. " Lizzie says making me smile, just a few meters away was the widow's house.

Lizzie sent us to look for the fruits, she went with Hannah and I stayed with Sarah, looking around the place analyzing its strange magical objects. I came face to face with an eye-catching box. — " Hey Sarah! Come see this! " I call her to find out what is inside the black box that luckily is open, when we open it we find a large book with several pages, more pages than the Bible itself, Sarah opens the book stopping at a page with several things written on it, she passes Analyzing the pages, we stop at one where there is a drawing of the devil. — " Abaddon. " Sarah reads. — " Azazel. " I read. — " Beelzebub. " — " Moloch. " Sarah stays silent for a few seconds before saying. — " Satan. " She says. — " No! " We quickly got up and came face to face with the widow behind us. — " Widow... " Sarah whispers. — " The veil has grown thin with the turning of the moon, and with it the morning star rises. Beware the devil. He lives in this book. This is how he is invoked. " The widow grabs Sarah's wrist, which was holding a knife, as a way of protecting herself, she leaves the knife on her cheek, almost piercing her. — " He feels you now, and if you're not careful, he's going to get under her skin and devour you from the inside out. " I look at the scared situation when Hannah appears calling Sarah's name. The widow begins to order us to leave. — " Go away! Go away!! Out, out!! Everyone get out!! " We ran out of the witch's house, her house was shaking in the wind and her bonfire was agitated. When we arrive at the designated place we see several people, some are dancing, talking, others are kissing, surrendering to the sins of the flesh, everyone is drunk. We find Abigail at the campfire having something with our companion, when we catch their attention they both look back and face Lizzie. — " The full moon rises. " She says extending her hand showing the fruits she had picked. We all gather in a circle and start to take a fruit from her hand, Hannah looks at Sarah before eating the fruit. — " To the fruits of the earth. " Hannah says with a smile on her face, Sarah looks and then eats the fruit and then I do the same. I don't know what's in this fruit but it's incredible, I feel like I'm in paradise, my body is light while spinning, my mind is somewhere else while I'm dancing, it's like I'm in the sea without actually being in it, my body is smooth. I see a man grab Hannah, forcing her to take off her clothes when Sarah gets in the way, the man says something about her being a bitch and gets punched in the face. — "I should look for a mule, she doesn't notice how short his organ is! " I tell him defending Sarah, people laugh, I have a provocative smile on my face, the man looks at me and leaves irritated, meanwhile Sarah and Hannah leave hand in hand to somewhere more private,I already know these two are going to get ready.

I walked through the entire forest alone, it was the best feeling I had, being alone just in the presence of the moon, the trees, the birds, the insects, without being afraid of being raped, I walked so much that I didn't realize that I had already I had returned to the village where I see Sarah and Hannah kissing goodbye, I smile when I see the two together and I start walking towards my house again when I hear someone calling me. — " Y/n, y/n, you shouldn't be out so late. " Thomas, drunk, says to me as he takes a sip of his drink, I remain silent for a few seconds before responding. — " I say the same to you. I should drink less. " I advise you to go back to walking. I enter my house silently and go towards my room, I remove my skirt leaving me in just my nightgown. I am violently woken up by my mother. — " Wake up! It's already half past six!! " I get up, scratching my eyes and giving only a grunt in response to my mother, the woman leaves my room and goes back to doing what she did before, I put on my clothes and tie up my hair, I go to I go to the kitchen and grab some bread so I can eat and out of the corner of my eye I see my mother praying some rosary, I get closer to her and question her. — " Did something happen, mom? " She shuts up before answering me. — " The pastor is sick, I'm praying he gets well. " She answers me curtly, which leaves me confused and sad, but I ignore it and leave the house, my father is not on the plantation, strange, I open the door to the pen and go out to the village, taking a few steps until I see Sarah being thrown out. from the shepherd's house. — " God knows who you are girl! Pray that he has mercy on your soul! " The older woman shouts to Sarah, I stay paralyzed watching the whole scene, I noticed some people looking at me and whispering a few times but I ignored them and ran towards Sarah, helping her to get up, people looked at us, little Sarah to accompany me to her house . — " Thomas said things about you. He said you seduced several men and gave their flesh to the devil. Most didn't take it seriously but many wonder. " I feel my body freeze when I hear this, my heart hurts, my lungs hurt, my stomach hurts, I feel my eyes want to fill with tears when I hear these words. That bastard, he betrayed me! He used me! I let him taste my skin so it wouldn't end up being that?! This bastard will get what he deserves. I swallowed hard but continued taking Sarah to the entrance of her house, when we arrived she told me to go back home, she wanted better for me, I listened to her advice but before I could even walk I felt my arm being grabbed tightly and I was being dragged to the door. my house, when I enter I am thrown to the floor, I look back and see my father furious. — " What did you do, Y/n?! What did you do in that lake?! " He asks me violently, I drag myself back trying to keep my distance. — " I just bathed! I swear! " I lie, I lie to your face. — " That's not what Thomas has been saying! Is there anything you want to tell me?! Did you go out at night?! " He asks me, holding me by my hair so I look at him, I shake my head frantically no. — " Your mother can't even bear to look at your face, she feels disgusted, as I do too. I fear her lack of education has failed you. I failed creating you. I shouldn't have given you so much freedom, you're not a boy. I should have tried to continue having a boy instead of investing my teachings in you. " His eyes are deep and full of anger, anguish, sadness anddisappointment, he lets go of my hair and leaves my face, going to the kitchen to get a drink, I feel a tear run down my face and a knot As my throat grows, I look to the side and see the figure of my mother, she doesn't show any ounce of empathy towards me.

if a day has passed since what happened, I'm lying in my bed, no one comes and wakes me up with a good morning, no one will come and kiss me on the forehead, no one, I get up from the bed and put on my clothes but I leave my hair down, it reaches my waist which is what I like about it, when I left the room I noticed that every room is silent which is strange so I go to the kitchen looking for food but a strong odor invades the air, some Mosquitoes are hanging around here, I look at the food and realize that they are all rotten, I can see maggots in the flour, I feel my stomach turn when I see that but I hold on and leave the house. Walking through the village I find Sarah Fier with her clothes slightly stained with blood, I stand next to her in silence, our looks already say a lot for us, I hear Thomas saying things to the people in the village, about the devil, the horse is moving, people are around the can trying to pull something out of it. — " What it was? What is happening? " Sarah asks Abigail. — " The bucket got stuck on something. " She responds simply, seeing the men doing their best to pull out whatever was inside, after a few more efforts they begin to lift the bucket, attracting the attention of several people who came closer to the well. — " Is coming! Is coming! Here it comes! " An old bearded man says, Thomas stays near the well, after the bucket rises you can see the corpse of a dog wrapped in ropes, they are around God's neck, this dog is Sarah's. — " Our water is poisoned! " The older woman says through tears. — " Do not come?! We have already drunk from the cup of darkness! " Thomas says to the people around him, I squeeze Sarah's hand as a way of comfort. — " This is the work of the devil. He came to take our lands! " Thomas exclaims to everyone, making my eyes go to him. — " Which one of you brought the devil to Union? " He asks abusively, I close my eyes at him and leave so I don't have to hear any more nonsense from him. I'm in the lake, in that same lake, I place my hand on my belly, this period was supposed to have already started and this is worrying me, I worry that my actions have brought a bad father to a possible fetus. I can't confirm. Not for now. When this belly grows bigger, my breasts swell, I will tell everyone the true truth, but a much more painful truth, the sky is already late, it's the middle of the day, I start walking back to the village. People look at me, they whisper about me, they judge me, but the only one who looks at me with amusement is that damn drunk, damn Thomas, our eyes meet, my smells of hate and his are full of malice.

A crowd of people are around the meeting house, I see Sarah arriving with Solomon, I hear that the pastor has all the children inside, shit! Constantine and Henry!! I get closer to the door trying to open it but it doesn't work, I see Solomon go to the back doors and I follow him, more men come after and soon after Sarah appears with the rest, after pushing the door so much it opens and nothing is heard . — " Keep everyone away. " Solomon orders and Sarah tries to call for him but he has already picked up a gun and he enters, a crowd of people starts surrounding the entrance trying to get in, I get closer to the entrance and push the people blocking my way and I enter the meeting room and a crowd enters with me, when I enter I come face to face with the pastor with his eyes gouged out and the children too, their eyes were together on the ground, a disgusting pile Sarah screams when she sees her brother's body, the pastor starts walking towards her When I realized I shouted his name. — " Sarah!!" Solomon runs towards the shepherd pastor and attacks him from the side, his body falls next to Sarah who is terrified, I run to her and hug her tightly, people are scared and Thomas with his speeches is only getting worse. Me, Sarah and Hannah are at the window watching the men argue about what will be done. Mr. Berman begins to make a speech saying that we need to find out who caused all this, that the pastor was possessed by darkness, by darkness. Thomas starts to say. — " I saw three lambs from our city, laughing, having fun, on the last full moon! " He argues, making the men scream, idiot, Simon begins to tell the truth that several were there, that they were there for fun, we danced, we drank, we celebrated! We are not sinners! But the men were furious, Thomas said that we would have the mark of the devil which made many feel like taking off our clothes to see our bodies. Solomon's brother spoke beautifully, then another old man began to speak. — " I mapped it out on my patrols. This scourge is in Union, I searched the forest! It does not extend beyond the village. This one. It's in Union! We are being punished, and I have a list of names!! " The men celebrate when they hear the possibility of having people who can hang, they beg for them to be said, Solomon enters the middle asking them to stop making everyone pay attention to him. — " Listen to yourselves! Speculation! Hunting.. shadows! Imagining curses. " Solomon points out the holes in these accusations. — " Now I ask, do you have any proof? " The man remains silent. — " No? And you? " Solomons asks Thomas and I only respond with a snort and an eye roll, you pathetic guy. — " or any of you!! " A man stands up. — " I have evidence! " Damn, the same mule I looked at penis size. — " A few nights ago, when the full moon rose right next to the sun. While I was sleeping, she came to me. She bewitched me! And she took me to the forest, she was naked... and riding a red mule. And the red mule became a man with horns! She made me watch while she slept with the devil. It made my organ shorten like a threat!" He said, leaving everyone in shock, I didn't need to use a spell to shorten his penis! You did this alone. — " Who?! " A man asked. — " He made me watch as the three lay with the devil... & quot; He adds leaving more shock in the air. — " Who are the three of them lying down?! " They ask, a moment of silence before answering. — " Hannah Miller, Sarah Fier and Y/n. " The woman begins to disagree with her daughter's accusations, Mr. Fier stands up in shock and my mother and my father are in a state of shock. — " Witches! " Thomas and thousands of men gather, thousands of men begin to say they saw us, even those who must have been in a deep sleep when it happened! The men all join in a hunt against us, the man, upon realizing that we were watching them, points out our hiding place, a crowd of men left the house going after us.

Thousands of men chase us behind our figure, we are running as fast as we can. — " We need to get out of here!! " Sarah says desperately. — " Where?! " Hannah asks her even more desperately and trips over a rock, we are both close to the fence if we go back we will be caught! — " Run! " Hannah asks us, I hold Sarah's hand and we run into the forest while men surround her. Crowds gather to invade the houses in search of the two of us, Sarah and I are at her house and we find her father lying on the floor completely drunk, Sarah whimpers when she sees this scene, my heart hurts, we quickly hide when we see that they are searching the residence, Sarah grabs her knife and we run after another house, they are after the Fiers, my parents, they are threatening to kill us! Sarah and I walked towards the meeting room being discreet, I picked up a stone and threw it in another direction, attracting the attention of the man on guard, making him leave the place and we quickly entered the house. Poor Hannah was deplorable, clothes torn, chained, completely dirty, Sarah runs to her. — " What they did to you? " The brunette asks. — " I.. I will be hanged in the morning.. and if you don't run away you will be too. " Hannah alerts. — " No! " Sarah whispers. — " Pay attention, you need to escape. " The two look at each other then Sarah starts talking. — " No, I won't leave you. " Sarah denies it. — " But she must. " Hannah demands, the blonde sits on the floor tiredly. — " It's my fault after all. " The blonde confesses, Sarah shakes her head. — " No-" Hannah interrupts.— " I brought the devil. " Hannah states. — " That's not how it works, you don't summon the devil by accident. A choice needs to be made. " Sarah corrected her by saying what she learned from Solomon. — " Don't you understand? " Hannah questions her. — " It doesn't matter if we did it or not. They think we are guilty so we are. " Hannah says seriously and looking deeply at her lover, Sarah looks at her thinking about what she just heard. — " You're right. Everyone believes we did it. So what difference does it make if we did it now? " Sarah says, leaving Hannah confused with her words. — " what are you saying? " The blonde asks. — " I'll look for the widow. I'm going to make a deal with the devil. Maybe this can save us. " Sarah says one with a shred of hope, Hannah issurprised by the crazy idea. — " But what with the devil... Are you crazy? " Hannah questions Sarah's insane idea. — " I don't fear the devil. Hannah, I fear the neighbor who accuses me. I fear the mother, who lets her daughter be hanged. " Sarah says in a melancholic and poetic way, running her fingers over her beloved's face. — " I fear Union. They take us to the slaughterhouse and like lambs wait for us to follow. But you'll see, I don't give a lamb. " The brunette says bravely but the noises of the men looking for us make us come back to reality. — " When this is all over, we will leave this place, we will go far away. And we dance all night, and we'll fight in daylight. " Sarah quickly kisses Hannah. — " I can not lose you. " Hannah says sadly. — " And she won't. If they want a witch, I'll give them a witch. "

Sarah and I are at the widow's house but before I enter she stops me and looks into my eyes. — " You're pregnant, aren't you? " She takes me by surprise with her question, I open and close my mouth before responding, swallowing hard. — " It's not a certainty, but-" she interrupts me. — " Well, I confirm, your belly is bigger, your breasts are fuller, with milk. " She speaks to me, I look at her with tears, my mouth trembles. — " I can't allow you to live this, run away, run away! " She orders me pushing me away but I stop her. — " No!! I can't leave you!! You can die!! " I argue. — " You too!.. who is the father? " Sarah asks me while she looks at my belly, I take a deep breath, holding back the tears even more. — " Oh Thomas.. " Whispers in an auditory tone, I hear her whisper. — " Traitor. " She stays silent looking at me, she hugs me tightly, I return her hug, finally letting some tears flow, she lets go of me and walks away saying: — " Go. Go now! " She ordered and I obeyed, like a dog, no matter how much I fight she will insist and will always win, I turn my back and run towards the waters, may they take me wherever I need to go.

It's been a few weeks, a few weeks since Sarah died and cursed these lands, I saw her hanging from afar and for the first time I cried until my body hurt, until my body was exhausted, I joined my group to bury her in a worthy place. Only we know where it is. But only I know that she will not rest. My belly is more visible than last time, it is small but visible, because my body has a flat belly I believe it has resulted in it being more visible. I'm always coming to the lake just to watch it and remember the memories, remember what I did, what it resulted in, and how I'm going to end up, I feel very small but you don't deserve any of this. The sounds of footsteps take me out of my thoughts, which makes me step back in surprise, then look to the side I find the one I least want. Thomas. — " Are you alive. " She states surprised to see my presence. — " Yes, I'm alive in the flesh. " I tell him. Thomas tries to walk towards me but I walk back keeping my distance, he stops, he looks at me from top to bottom as if he was analyzing me. I let out a sigh before speaking. — " I'm Pregnant. The child is yours. " Her expression melts into one I don't quite understand, a mix of sadness and surprise, I imagine. He takes a step trying to get closer but remembers what had just happened, I pull out a knife that was hidden and look into his blue eyes that I love so much. — " This is the last time we will see Thomas. " I tell you, Thomas' reaction is one of confusion, he tilts his head and continues to look at me. — " What do you mean? " He asks and I quickly answer. — " I'm leaving. I cursed you, Thomas. You will spend all your last years alive suffering in regret over the accusations made. He will suffer for having killed an innocent man. You will hear the cries of a newborn child every time you walk through the night feeling the empty moonlight. When you're in your dreams I'll be there to drown you. " He cursed, he cursed, saying every word with hatred, I raised the knife towards my neck, Thomas, seeing what would happen, tried to run towards me but it was too late. I already ran the blade across my throat. My body falls and I feel myself being grabbed. My breathing getting weaker, I hear the sound of the waters. Is cold. My eyes start to blink slowly and I finally take my last breath.

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Pov'tommy

She hit Arnie in the face several times with the axe, blood splashed all over his face and clothes, Alice and Cindy are terrified on the same level as me. — " Let's go! Now! " I tell them pulling them, Y/n looks back giving a full view of her bloody face, no that's not her. Her gaze is empty, soulless. As if something had worn her skin. Cindy screams, breaking me out of my thoughts, I pull them both to the other side of the cave so we can escape. Both are quick to look for a way out, Cindy goes to the bookshelf trying to push it. — " He comes! It helps me! " She asks desperately, Alice and I run to help the brunette and quickly knock down the shelf. She's close! — " Go Go!! Now!! " I scream pushing Alice and Cindy to go faster, when I was close to entering my legs are grabbed and a fight is started, Cindy and Alice try to pull me while I'm trying to kick the hands of my best friend, she has the slip of Let go of one of my legs and kick his nose out of his face. I'm sorry about that y/n. An avalanche of rocks begin to fall on the entrance and I drag myself back to avoid being crushed. A pile of rocks is blocking the entrance, I look at Cindy as she holds herself back from crying. — " Listen to this. " Alice catches our attention, I hear the sound of unregulated breathing, coming from the other side. — " Is she still alive? " I ask myself worriedly but deep down I'm relieved that I didn't kill her. — " She's trapped. " She says trying to bring comfort to us. — " She's trapped. " She whispers more to herself, a way of trying to calm down. — " I... I'm a monster. " I hear a/n whispering on the other side, she's conscious! But it seems that only I noticed what was said.

— " This is a cave but it looks like, like, I don't know! It seems like it never ends... " Cindy says analyzing the entire cave. — " I don't call. " I look at Alice after hearing what she just said, Cindy walks to the rocks that are blocking us. — " Alice... can you please help me! Tommy! " She asks Alice and then calls me. — " For what? For you to keep pretending that everything is fine? " Alice says. — " Alice, please. " I beg you not to have any fights, we are already too screwed for that. — " Alice, I just.. " Cindy tries to formulate a sentence but nothing then sits on top of one of the rocks. — " Y/n... Opened Arnie's head in half. Can you understand this? " Melancholic Alice tells us what's going on in her head. — " Please, can you, can you help me? " Cindy asks her again, making her angry. — " With what?! That shit weighs a million pounds!! You didn't get an A in physics?! " The blonde fights. — " We need to get out of here!! " Cindy reminds her. — " What a shame, because it can't be done!... We're going to die down here. Cindy Berman. " The blonde spoils the bitter truth she believes, I go to Cindy and offer her my hand to get up, a gesture she accepts. She runs towards Alice. — " No no! We have to get out of here, we do! Those names on the wall... they didn't stop at one death. " Cindy remembers the murders that happened to several people. — " Seven, nine, ten, fifteen people! They are serial killers! The children.. " Cindy stutters while speaking to Alice trying to find a way to change her mind. — " Your sister.. " I remind you — " Everyone is out there. And now she is too... " Her voice cracks briefly as she says. — " I thought you didn't believe in the witch. " The blonde argues. — " Not even! But, but, but, there must be some explanation. Must have-" Alice comes closer, interrupting her. — " Oh my god, you are unbelievable, Cindy! You knew?! She was possessed!! " Alice trying to make the brunette listen. — It could be... it could be that she took some pill. " Cindy tries to argue. — " No! No! Cindy, no! It wasn't the paracetamol! It was the witch. You saw the names, and that ritual! The witch is real, and she is using some spell to possess people. She understood the names on that stone! " I step in, taking Alice's side and arguing against my own girlfriend. — " And Mary knew, okay? She knew and it's all here! " Angrily Alice points out the facts. — " this is not real! " Cindy violently pushes the book away. — " Do you want an explanation? I'll give you one. Okay?" Alice impatiently questions Cindy. — " She went looking for the hand bones to break the fucking curse to save Shadyside, but she didn't find them! Want to know what she found?!My friend's name on that shitty wall. " Cindy tries to interrupt. — " No, it wasn't that! " But Alice continues. — " So she tried to kill her. What I would have done too if I had a chance to kill bitch Y/n, if I was going to take an ax to my boyfriend's head! " An irritated Cindy with no patience pushes Alice. — " Oh shut up!! " Cindy orders leaving everyone silent, until Alice cuts him off. — " Finally. That's the Cindy Berman I know. " Alice says, Cindy turns and starts walking somewhere else. — " Where are you going? " I ask her making her turn towards us. — " I'll look for another way out. Don't come after me, come on Tommy! " Cindy calls me and I follow behind, leaving Alice alone.

Alice screams saying not to come back, Cindy and I ignore the screams, we are looking for something. Cindy is panting. I squeeze her hand, trying to calm her down, which doesn't do much good. — " All good. It is good too. " Cindy whispers to herself trying to calm down until Alice appears behind us, scaring us, I put my hand on my chest in fright, Cindy goes to the blonde and pushes her by the shoulder. — " Damn, are you crazy?! I ordered you not to follow me. " Cindy remembers Alice who just looks at her confused. — " Yeah, I didn't follow. " Alice returns the push. — " You went in circles " Alice counts her and passes her. — " It's a fucking circle. " The blonde remembers what makes Cindy and I remember something, I pick up the book lying on the floor, leafing through its pages looking for one, Cindy lights up the book, I stop at the page with the symbol design and we start counting the entries. — " What are they doing? " Alice comes closer asking. — " The symbol divides four times, three there, one there, like this cave. " I explain it. — " Equals. Sarah Fier cut her cursed hand on Satan's stone, carving the witch's mark into the ground below. Carving into the ground " Cindy explains, pointing out the places so Alice can understand. — " Wait what? The witch who did all this shit? " She questions us. — " Or the colonists said she did it. It doesn't matter. What matters is that this is a-" Alice interrupts me. — " A map. "

— " There's another branch here, so it's to the left. " We started walking towards the entrance. — " I don't believe this shit works. " Alice comments, I look at her but quickly return to my main focus. — " It's taking too long, we should already be at camp. " Cindy says worriedly, I look at her and give her a look of confidence to reassure her, I'm not very confident about this myself but it's the only thing I can have a shred of hope that will work, that will lead us to a way out and we can save her. The conversation I had in the forest keeps playing in my head, maybe you were trying to warn us, maybe you wanted to save us and I didn't know how to understand. You asked me if I would kill you, I would never hurt you. Hurting you hurts me too. I promise that I will save you from this, I will make you free from this curse. — " If they have to kill her. Can you? " Alice takes me out of my thoughts with her question, taking us by surprise, Cindy remains silent thinking so I answer first. — " At that moment in the cafeteria, when the nurse attacked, all I thought about was saving her. So I couldn't do it. " I answer truthfully, Alice looks at Cindy waiting for an answer. — " I don't think so, she was the first person to offer to talk to Ziggy, she listened to me venting about my complaints about her. So I don't think I could do it. " Cindy says, Alice has a small smile and then speaks. — " Well, I would gladly kill Y/n. " She says without any remorse. — " Wow, even after all this you're still an asshole. " Cindy says, talking about her makes me happy, she has no control over anything. — "Okay, sorry. It's just that it's not easy to see a friend killing her boyfriend. " She apologizes and explains a little sadly. — " I never understood how she managed to fit in with us so quickly. " She exposes her doubt, Cindy turns to her and so do I, Cindy starts to speak. — " Look, Y/n, she was sweet. She was always willing to help, to listen, always protecting the people of Shadyside. Protecting my sister. She had no obligation but she did it. It was funny to see her swearing at everything when she got angry. " Cindy says with a weak laugh, memories of her swearing come into my head making me smile weakly. — " Once I left her doing a task alone and I went to offer her herbs to calm her down and she responded with: " Holy shit! I don't want anything to do with this shit.”, it was the first time I heard someone say four swear words in one sentence. " Alice tells us, making all three of us laugh, I remember an event with Ziggy's sister. — " These days she had gone to defend her sister, Cindy, she told one of the girls to get out of her way, then called her a son of a bitch. & Quot; I tell her making her laugh and smile that her sister is being protected.I hear some noises coming from deeper in the cave, I point the flashlight in the direction of the sound. — " Are you listening to this? " He asked, turning to where I'm pointing, Cindy looks at the notebook. — " There's a space right here, in front. All paths lead to him." Cindy tells us how she looks at Alice. — "Is there any way we can turn around? " Alice asks. Getting closer we see several dark spots on the wall and thousands of mosquitoes surrounding them, this sight makes your stomach turn. Alice and Cindy point to goo on the floor. — " Holy shit, what the hell is this? " Alice asks in surprise. — " It's everywhere.. " I say looking around, Alice lights up something and her face panics. — " Cindy.. what the fuck? " The blonde asks, making us both turn towards what she is seeing, faced with completely dirty flesh full of flies circling it, it pulses as if it were alive. — " Let's get out of here. " Cindy asks in fear, Alice gets closer to the flesh, crouching down to be at her level, she touches the flesh and freezes in terror. Cindy pulls her hand and calls her name, Alice lets out a scream.

Alice runs, leaving Cindy and me behind, we look at each other confused and go looking for her. We hear Alice running everywhere and letting out terrified screams when suddenly her scream becomes one of pain, Cindy hurries her steps right in front of me. Within minutes we found her with her injured leg. Cindy comes down and puts her hands on Alice's shoulders. — " Are you well? " Cindy asks worriedly. — " I saw the killers. They killed many, and the rest will be next. The children. " Alice says what she saw in terror, Cindy shakes her head in disagreement before interrupting her. — " No, it's not true. Everything will be fine. " She speaks words of affirmation to comfort. — " The witch did it. She did it all. She cursed Shadyside. Mary was right. " Alice begins to explain, I look at the wound seeing its exposed bone. — " I know. " Cindy says, taking her by surprise. — " The cave was alive, Alice. Paracetamol doesn't do that. " Cindy said she made her change, Alice groans in pain, my girlfriend takes her bag and throws her belongings on the floor. — " You are right. I'm a snitch. The day after we stole Mr. Evans' stereo, Harold Hines saw me with it. " Cindy is opening the pad while my hand is on the bone. — " Damn Harold Hines. " Alice curses but stops when she feels me putting the bone back in place. — " Soon after, I ended up at the director's office, and my father couldn't go because he had run away with a girl not much older than I am today. " Cindy puts the pad on the wound as a bandage. — " And my mother was drinking at O'Connell. " She looks at Alice with a fake smile. — " That's when I understood... that I was no different from the others in Shadyside. I was cursed. And I convinced myself that if I was perfect, if I did everything right, I could escape. " Cindy looks silently at Alice before she speaks again. — " I ratted you out, made new friends, and started dressing like this. " She tears off a piece of her blouse as she says, placing it in the pad. She turns to me and says.— " I started dating you. " Her eyes are full of tears. My world collapses. — " I avoided you, but I couldn't avoid Ziggy. Because she was always there, reminding me of the truth. " Cindy places something on top of the pad before tying it. — " Because she was always there, reminding me of the truth. That this city is cursed, this place... It's cursed. And we too. And now I know. She was right, all this time. " Alice screams after Cindy tightens the bandage.

— " I was a bad sister. I was a terrible friend. I should have skipped class, gone to parties, had sex, had fun " Cindy is interrupted by Alice. — " I hate to tell you this, but the fun... It's as real as you and your shirt. I use Styrofoam for a reason. " Alice started taking off her bracelets which left me confused. — " It's not just because it looks good on me. " She shows god slit wrists leaving us in shock. — " Holy shit... " I let it escape my lips. — " Everyone deals with Shadyside in their own way. " I look at her sadly, Cindy was about to start talking when something catches her attention. She gets up and picks up some moss, red moss, the scene of the moss getting on her shirt flashes through my head. — " This. That moss stained my shirt. The bathroom. " She quickly gets to her feet, pointing the flashlight at the trail of moss on the wall. — " The bathroom is covered in this stuff. The camping. It means we're close. " Cindy states. — " Let's go! " I call them going deeper into the cave, Alice passes me leaving Cindy to stay by my side. She looks at me and I look at her. We have to talk. Cindy looks down thinking about what to say, she opens and closes her mouth before saying. — " I'm sorry I had to hear all that. " She apologizes, I shake my head no. — " It wasn't your fault, it's okay. I understand you. " Cindy interrupts me by shouting. — " No! I'm guilty! " She starts to speak and pauses before saying. — " You deserve better. You deserve her. " She says about someone, I furrowed my eyebrows looking at her questioningly. — " Who she? " She laughs at my question as if I'd just made a joke. — " I'm talking about her, Y/n. I see how you look at her. " Cindy has a smile on her face, she is taken by surprise with her insinuations, I remain silent and let her speak. — " When you know, you know. She already told you that phrase, didn't she? " She asks looking at me. I shake my head in agreement, she gives a weak smile for a few seconds. — " Did she tell you it was the lyrics to a song? "She questions me, leaving me surprised, it was never said that it came from a song. — " No, she never told me. " I speak without looking away from her. — " I once caught her singing. She said it was a song a woman sang in a bar. 'When you know, you know. It kind of makes me laugh. Passing that way. When you're good, you're gold. Because when you know, you know'. That's the lyrics" Cindy sings the part of the song, the song brought back memories of when I saw her for the first time. When I accompanied her to welcome the children. When we first spoke. — " Save her. Save her and stay together. " Cindy asks me, making me look into her eyes when she hears this request. — " I will save her." I speak, Cindy smiles and we continue to walk together just accepting that we are okay.

We arrived at a big place full of moss and with shit, piss, toilet paper, players everywhere. Not one of the best places to be. — " Is that toilet paper? " Alice asks more to himself. — " It's the bathroom. Can be. " Cindy states hopefully. — " Holy crap. " Alice whispers. — " It's him. Look. " Cindy points to the stone that goes up to the entrance to one of the toilets. We started to hear noises coming from above, it sounded like two people fighting, my eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. We come together to scream for help, people are silent. We start to scream louder so they can hear us, the lid opens and a head appears. — " Cindy?! " The girl asks in disbelief. — " Ziggy? Oh my God! " Cindy is surprised to see her sister, I admit that I would also be surprised to see my sister's head in the toilet. — " What are you doing down there?! " She asks us curiously, Cindy stutters before answering. — " It's a long story. Are you well? "The worried question. — " OK, just wait a minute. " The redhead asks before closing the toilet lid. — " Ziggy, are you okay? " Cindy asks her again but receives no answer. The toilet lid is opened again and Ziggy throws a trunk with a rope attached so we can climb up. — " Use this. We're going to pull you. " I look at her confused and ask her. — " Us? " The redhead is quick to respond to me. — " Gary's here too. " Meanwhile Cindy offers Alice to go first and the blonde doesn't refuse, she already sits on the bucket. The rope begins to be pulled making her rise, when Alice was close to leaving we hear Ziggy screaming and the rope is released making Alice fall but something is brought along. When we look we see that it is Gary's headless body, the two scream in fear. Cindy starts screaming her sister's name and I join her. I shut up when I hear Y/n's voice asking her not to go, I put my hand on Cindy's mouth making her shut up, she tries to remove my hand but I gesture with my eyes for her to pay attention to the conversation. — " Ziggy...! " She speaks sadly but seemed to have a hint of happiness, a few seconds of silence is interrupted by her saying. — " Please just kill me. " She begs, my eyes widen in surprise upon hearing. No! I can't let you die! I can't lose you. — " No no! I can't! You-" Ziggy tries to make her listen but is interrupted. — " You can! Just take that damn ax and hit me in the head! There is no escape for me, he wants my soul, my heart." She tries to convince Ziggy. — " You will come out alive, with the one you love and you will be very happy, just say that I was to blame for everything! " I start to despair about this conversation but before I can do something dark Ziggy says.— " No!! " Now Cindy despairs that something might be happening to her sister. She screams tearfully. Ziggy says something I don't understand and then we hear the sound of someone falling. We remained silent waiting for something. — " Ziggy!! " Cindy calls for her sister again, but this time we are answered with the girl putting her head in the toilet, Cindy sighs with relief to see her sister intact. — " What happened?! " I ask her worried about what might have happened. — " She started with this story about being killed, so I put her to sleep! " Ziggy tries to defend himself, Cindy lets out a weak laugh, and I breathe a sigh of relief. — " Can you load it?! " Cindy asks her, Ziggy takes his face off the toilet, probably looking at the unconscious body. — " I think so. " She answers us. Cindy takes the notebook and looks at the map analyzing it and analyzing the cave, she looks up and then questions her sister. — " Can you handle taking it to the cafeteria?! " The question is peacefully answered with an affirmative nod.

After Ziggy left the bathroom and took A/n we started walking towards the exit of the cafeteria. Only Cindy and I came, Alice stated that we would be late but that he would arrive soon. Getting closer and closer the path becomes tight, making us have to start walking on all fours, when we see a crack of light we start to crawl faster, as I'm in front I'm the first to come face to face with the exit blocked with a metal plate. I lie down and start to put strength in my legs, I kick the plate for the first time which makes it go up a lot, the second time I feel the nails starting to come out, the third time the entrance is finally free. When I go up I see Ziggy in the middle of the room, she probably came to check the noise, when I go up Cindy is next, I extend my hand which is accepted, I pull it making it go up faster. — " Where is Alice? " Ziggy asks us, noticing the blonde's absence. — " She will come, she just needs to regain her strength. " Cindy is quick to answer the question. — " Where is she? " I ask her, she makes a gesture asking us to follow her. We found the scene of Y/n with her hands and feet tied, her body is leaning against the wall of the cafeteria. I get close to her, crouching down to her height. I run my hands over her cheek, caressing her, the girl snuggles into my touch which makes me smile. I promise to save you. I stand up looking at the two girls behind me. A noise is heard from the room we left, we all stay alert, I slowly walk towards the sound, take advantage and grab a knife as defense. A hand comes out of the hole and we see Alice coming out of it, a sigh of relief and Cindy runs towards her swearing to climb up.

— " Why did it take so long? " Cindy asks, relieved to see her. — " Did you manage to arrest her? " Alice asks referring to Y/n. Cindy nods before speaking. — " We did it. " Cindy confirms and immediately hugs her, but Alice pushes her away saying. — " Be careful. This thing must be a million years old. " She puts her hand in her bag, Cindy is confused. — " I bought this bag last month. " - Cindy informs. — " I'm not talking about your stupid bag, genius. 'Blood will be spilled'. Demon stone, got it? She was there. " I begin to understand what Alice means.— " It was buried under the moss all this time, and I found it. I found. " Alice states happily about her discovery of hers. — " What did you think? " Cindy asks, still confused. — " Three guesses. " . We sat at the cafeteria table. Alice removes the bones of a hand from the bag, leaving the girls surprised. — " What? What is that? " Ziggy asks looking at the two girls at the table. — " Sarah Fier's severed hand. " Alice responds. Everyone stays silent until I break it. — " Nurse Lane... spent her whole life looking for this. A way to stop the curse that took his daughter. " I comment remembering all of Mary's hunting. — " Without her hand, her power remains firm. The curse will last until the body and hand unite.' this took us to the hand. " Alice explains the curse to the redhead by taking the notebook to her. — " And if the legend is true, the body will be buried-" Ziggy interrupts her. — " In the gallows tree. " She finished completing it. — " We can end this. The end of the murders, the end of the curse, the end.. " Cindy stops and looks at the tied up body. From suffering. " She finishes. — " We can save Shadyside... tonight! " I speak with hope. Ziggy takes his hand closer to him. Blood drips from her nose and falls into her bones, she jumps in fright and freezes for a few seconds until her sister takes her hand and makes her come back. — My nose bled on my hand and I thought I saw her. " Ziggy says scared as she catches her breath. — " Who? " Cindy asks in surprise. — " Sarah Fier. " Everyone at the table looks shocked.

— " She was... She was very angry. " Ziggy warns. — " We have to bury this right now. " Alice commands. Before we could say or act, we were startled with an enraged growl. We all looked at Y/n who was struggling trying to free herself from the ropes as he grew. I get up and go towards him, side in front of him and crouch down, he stops struggling when he notices me. His eyes meet mine. Empty. But there's still something about them. — " Tommy... " She whispers, leaving me surprised, a smile invades my face when she hears me call. — " We will save you, I promise. " I reassure her, she tries to say something but Cindy has already gotten up to get the big shovel and another small one. — " Let's go. " She orders. Alice is confused about not receiving something. — " Will I have to use my hands? " He asks with a bit of irony. — " No, you stay here. " Cindy demands. — " Come on, I can safely jump. " Alice tries to argue as she shows off her limp. Cindy looks still unconvinced, Alice sighs and surrenders. — " Tommy, you too. " She asks me too, I nod my head then see her leave with her sister.

I'm left alone in the cafeteria with Alice watching over Y/n. Alice keeps a distance between me and her but keeps close to Y/n, she has her hands on her knees looking thoughtful. — " Seeing you kill my boyfriend hurt. " The blonde started to speak. — " I hate you for what she did, and I miss you like a child. I loved that junkie. " She says sadly, her words catch the attention of Y/n who remains silent but looks at her with a certain empathy, even though her eyes are full of hate. Alice sighs and gets up, something stops her, she looks at me with a frown. — " Did you hear that? " She asks me leaving me confused. — " What ? " She doesn't answer me, she heads towards the place we entered, her steps are slow and careful. Seconds later we hear as if someone is singing and a female hand appears, I get up and go towards Y/n, helping her get up, I take a razor I found and cut the ropes on her feet. Alice moves away from the place, realizing the situation even more. — " Holy crap. Run!! " She shouts at us, I pull Y/n by the arm making her follow me as we run, Alice is behind us running with difficulty. We stop halfway to check if we are still being followed. I release my hand from Y/n's arms. — " Did you see it too?! It was Ruby Lane!! Ruby! " Alice questions me scared, I catch my breath before answering. I saw it, why are they coming back? " I ask her, confused and startling, she shakes her head not knowing what to answer. — " I don't know... maybe they want to stop the curse from being broken! " She suggests, she looks behind me then her face changes to one of concern. — " Tommy. Where did she go? " She looks at me for an answer, I look back and see that y/n ran away. We lost sight of her!

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I managed to steal the razor that Tommy was carrying in his clothes. Why did he have it? This is the question that hits my head the most. I use my feet to hold the razor while I quickly run the rope through it so it can be cut as quickly as possible. I feel my hands free and remove the ropes, take the knife and hold it firmly in my pocket. I need to find Sarah's body. I need to find Nick Goode. It boosted me and I started running as fast as I could towards the forest and entering it in a few seconds, I looked everywhere looking for the same red moss that was in the bathroom, branches passed over my skin, scratching and hurting me. Leaves are in my clothes and hair. I stop to rest a little, look at the floor and notice the texture becoming different, redder, redder! I start to crawl quickly looking for Sarah's bones, I feel blood start to run from my nose when I grab a chain. A smile appears on my face. I take off my cold sweater and place it on the floor, I take the bones and chains and put everything in my shirt and tie it to make sure it doesn't fall. I get up and run again but this time towards the tree.

I feel the wind passing by my face, the dreams of bats hitting the ground, a woman singing become closer. Tommy. Are you, are you coming? To the tree where they hanged a woman, who they say was a witch. I quicken my steps, feeling my legs start to hurt because of the effort I'm making, all the effort, for a moment the memories of my ancestor flash through my head. I'm sorry I had to go through all this, but I'm not you, I'm going to make everything right. I see Cindy and Ziggy desperately digging the hole in the ground as the killers get closer, Tommy and Alice are close by trying to reach them too, they must think I'm going to attack. Ziggy, upon seeing that he had no body, despairs and shows his sister who only finds a stone saying that the witch lives forever, she pulls Ziggy close and holds his bone hand in hers. I manage to get past all the killers and fall to the ground tired, my legs are wobbly, Cindy puts Ziggy behind her afraid that I will attack, I untie my blouse and place my bones on the ground, leaving them both shocked. — " I found!! Put your hand up! " I order them, Cindy and Ziggy are quick and put their hands close to their bodies, I take advantage of the fact that they are both seeing the truth of the whole curse and I take Cindy's shovel and go towards the milkman and hit him right in the face, which he does. As he fell, Tommy is taking care of Ruby while Alice took the stolen knife and went after the little boy. I see Nick Goode coming in the distance behind Ziggy, I get off the milkman but I didn't expect him to be quick to recover and start to follow me, I quicken my pace enough to get close to Nick. I use the shovel to hit his head, he puts his hand on the spot, hitting him again, only on the leg, which makes him fall, I put myself on top of him, letting my feet keep him stuck on the ground, I feel being hit on my back but I don't let myself give in to the pain and I'm hit again but I stay with Nick underneath me, I put the seal in my arms and hit his neck with the shovel, blood splashes to the sides, his eyes freeze on mine. figure with the milkman stabbing me in the back but little by little he disappears like smoke, just like the others. Blood is coming out of Nick's mouth, I put more force on the shovel, completely cutting his neck from his head, now his eyes are empty and dead. I feel my body start to fail, my body is weak and I'm losing a lot of blood, I fall next to the corpse, I'm looking at the sky seeing the stars shining, but no brighter than the moon. My consciousness slowly fades away. At least I managed to make you live.

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Pov'tommy

Ruby's body disappears as if it were dust. The curse. She was broken. I look to the side and Ziggy and Cindy are back but their noses are bloody. I'm looking for Y/n. I find her standing completely bloody and injured in the back, she is on top of Nick with the shovel dividing his head from his body, her body weakens and staggers until she falls to the ground, I start to run towards her. Please do not. Please don't die. We did it! Are you free. I start to crawl and stop on top of her body, she is freezing, I shake her body calling her name but I am not answered, tears are already rolling down my face, I place both hands on her chest trying to give her a heart massage so she can to go back. I need it to work. I opened her mouth and put our lips together forcing air into her lungs, again I put my hands on her chest, I repeat three times second and when I start to feel hopeless I see her eyes slowly opening, she coughs a little blood, I put my hands hands on his face, cleaning it. — " Everything is fine. I am here. We did it. " I reassure her by pulling her into my arms, she wraps her arms around my neck and I can feel her tears.

— " What is your name? Me, look at me. What is your name ? " The doctor tries the question but she is too stunned to answer. — " It's Y/n. Her name is Y/n. " I answer her which makes her look at me. — " Where... where are they? Where they are? " She asks me with difficulty, I look in the direction that Alice, Cindy and Ziggy are, she automatically looks in the same direction, when she sees the doctors examining them a smile appears on her face. I stay next to her stretcher and help the doctors carry her. — " Tommy. We did it. I managed to keep you alive. " She is panting when she speaks, I make noise to make her quiet. — " I know, now you need to be okay. " I remember her injuries, the doctors pull her stretcher and put her in the ambulance, before I could get in to accompany her, a police officer puts his hand on my shoulder and asks me. — " What the hell happened here? " He is incredulous, I think carefully before answering him, I keep my head down. — " someone broke into the camp, he was freaking out. He killed everyone and fled. " I lie to him hiding the truth, hiding the real killer. — " Shadyside's shit. " He whispers so that I can't hear but I can hear him, I walk towards the ambulance, climbing into it and sitting next to Y/n who is being taken care of. The engine starts, the car starts driving towards the hospital. Goodbye Camp Nightwing.

[caelusproject]

"Talk to me" (Chapter 1?)

Pairing: Royalkay

Rating: SFW (minor sexual talk/thoughts, death and injury mentioned, cursing)

Wordcount: 6385

This is a fanfiction based on another fanfiction! This story takes place mostly during chapter 4 of the Jalim fanfiction "Say Nothing" by @katzenprinz and @thunderwhenhepurrs ! It's the same story but from a different point of view with a different relationship focus! Please read Gabe and Holden's Jalim fanfiction, it's seriously so good and still being written!! Go show them some love!!

(Sorry for any inconsistencies or errors I made, I tried my hardest to do my research but I'm an overworked human so mistakes are a given oof)

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Nick patrolled through the camp, letting the slowly fading rays of sunlight elucidate his path across the sand in a deep orange. Although he kept his mind sharp enough to immediately recognize any strange sounds and movements, so much so that he pointed his gun at an innocent little shrew hiding in a bush earlier, ready to pull the trigger and feeling bad about it right away again, he noticed his mind running wild in his skull. He felt his jaw muscles tighten as he looked towards the earth underneath his boots. Those fucking monsters were probably waiting for them. Sure, this time they came in prepared and with a purpose, as much as said purpose made him want to scream into the sky in a blind rage until his vocal chords snapped. Of course they would send them back in. Of course these idiots would want to know more about these creatures out of greed and blind thirst for knowledge. Of course Eric would run his mouth during the interrogations and mention how intellectually advanced they were.

But no matter how much Nick wanted to find a scapegoat to unleash his frustration and anger upon, Eric wasn't the one. Even if he hadn't talked about the vampires the way he did, those hazmat-freaks would have still gotten curious about them. The colonel didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of Nicks rage. Or at least not to a certain degree, after all it was Caelus that led them all down there in the first place.

“Wasn't his intention, though,” Nick reminded himself quietly as he circled around the tend where the newbies bunked, checking for anything noticeably concerning but ultimately finding nothing unusual. So he decided to keep on walking around the campsite until his short lived patrol was over.

Nick had quite some time to reminiscent about his treatment of the colonel. Sure, he had plenty a reason to hate that mans guts. Eric led them into this wasteland. His program mistook an ancient underground temple for an enemy storage facility. Nick was dating Eric's wife.

And yet there was a spark of admiration for the colonel blooming inside Nicks chest. One he tried to ignore as best as he can. Eric had saved him multiple times down there, putting his own life at risk to protect Nick of all people, which took a lot of strength of character and courage to do. Of course Nick, who was aware of his own gentle and sensitive nature, would be unable to shrug those acts off like it was nothing. He was merely grateful, Nick reassured himself.

The marine kicked a pebble across the field and sighed. Just as he was about to turn on his heels, he had wandered a tiny bit too far from site and would most likely get an earful from either Jason or Eric for it later, he heard his name being called from somewhere behind him. Elliott was jogging up to him and waving.

“Sargent Kay, thank you for taking over my patrol for a minute. I'm back now so you can return to your tent.” the young man nodded at Nick with a friendly smile. Nick mirrored the gesture.

“Sure. I've got nothing to report, if you don't count the poor traumatized shrew I almost shot.”

Elliott pulled his brows together in a sympathetic way.

“Poor thing,” he commented and then joked, “I'll make sure to apologize to it on your behalf.”

Nick didn't bother holding back a chuckle, “I would be most grateful.”

On his was back into the middle of their campsite Nick followed the tracks that their truck had left in the sand earlier with his eyes. Jason had been sent off with a few of the new guys to fetch Zain and bring him here. A sigh escaped Nicks lips when he was walking past the tent where Jason, Salim and himself were supposed to be bunking. Salim had decided to retreat to their tent after Nick was asked to jump in for Elliott's patrol for a minute, files of the inventory in hand so he could read through them to get his mind off of things. Nick couldn't blame him. He had seen the face Salim made whenever he talked about his son down in the tunnels, their first encounter ended in a conversation about how Salim wasn't supposed to be on his mission to fight some marines and instead spend Zain's birthday in the comfort of their home. A strong feeling of empathy flooded through Nick and he found himself going back and forth on whether he should enter and at least ask Salim if he needed anything. Against his better judgment he turned away and decided that some quiet might help him a lot more.

“Sargent Kay!”

Rachel's voice pulled Nick out of his train of thought. He looked up to see the CIA agent wave at him from the colonels tend, motioning for him to come in. The corner of Nick's lips curled up slightly as he looked at the woman, pure affection racing through his veins at the sheer sight of her, and he jogged up to her, entering through the opening.

“How's he holding up?” Rachel asked as Nick walked past her. The marine shrug with his shoulders.

“Mmh, as well as one can expect from him.” Nick replied and took a look around the tent. Eric was sitting at the fold-up desk with his back turned to his wife and her lover, typing away at a laptop. A few feet next to the desk was a cot, certainly bigger than the ones in the marine's tents, even garnished with two pillows and a blanket. Quite the luxury in the field.

“I figured he would be nervous,” Rachel sighed and sat down on the cot, her gaze trailing off into the distance, “I hope Jason can get the boy here without trouble. If all goes to plan then they should arrive here soon.”

Eric nodded, but didn't verbally participate in the conversation, eyes still glued to the screen in front of him. Nick shifted his weight, unsure on what to do with his body.

“He'll manage. As much as he is a jarhead, Jason is also capable and understanding of Salim's situation. Although I wouldn't be surprised if he returned with a few bruises here and there.” he joked. To Nicks surprise it was Eric who huffed a laugh.

“I hope not. We need our Lieutenant in good condition,” the colonel shifted in his chair to look at Nick and nodded towards the cot, “you don't have to stand there all awkwardly. Sit down.”

Nicks eyebrows twitched upwards. It shouldn't feel so strange to him to be offered a seat on Rachel and Eric's bed, considering they spent a few days together stuck in a tiny room with Jason and Salim, sleeping on thin mattresses with barely any space between their bodies.

Still, having Eric of all people tell him to take a seat on their bed caused the spark inside Nicks chest to glimmer a little more. Nick glanced over at Rachel, who scooted over for him, and sat down. The blanket covering the cot was surprisingly comfortable considering the circumstances.

“It's gonna feel weird.”

Rachel and Eric both looked at Nick, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. The marine waved his hand towards the cot.

“Sleeping in a different tent, I mean. Guess the last few nights have left an impression on me. I'm already used to cuddling until I fall asleep.” he snickered and shrug his shoulders, a slight pain shooting through his upper body from where his wound on his shoulder was still in the process of healing. Neither of his superiors replied right away, instead Rachel tilted her head until it was leaning against Nicks arm. They spend a few heartbeats like this and Nick noticed Eric watching them with an unreadable, but not at all hostile, expression.

“I have to admit, it was nice sleeping between you two,” Rachel muttered, her lips a thin line, “it certainly helped keeping the nightmares at bay.”

Nick nodded in agreement with Rachel and breathed softly, grabbing Rachel's hand in a tight but loving grip and kissed the top of her head. Eric tilted his head like he always did when he was deep in thought about something, his gaze growing distant, and Nick found himself wondering what might possibly go through the colonels mind. A long moment of silence filled the tent, broken by the keys of the laptop ticking away again after Eric flinched slightly, something Nick would have easily overlooked had he not been staring at the man for a few heartbeats (something Nick tried not to think about too much). Although it wasn't just Nick who noticed.

“What's wrong?” Rachel asked Eric in a tone of voice Nick barely ever heard out of her mouth, a kind of concern that she always tries to control, but said control always broke when it came to Eric for reasons Nick could only imagine having to do with the bond of love they shared. Even though it was unlike Rachel to be so openly overprotective of someone. The colonel frowned in response.

“Don't worry. It's just,” he sighed, “the usual.”

“'The usual'?” Nick repeated, raising an eyebrow. Rachel closed her eyes as she exhaled loudly.

“Does it hurt?”

It felt like lightning struck Nick right then and there as realization hit him like a truck.

Eric's leg.

The colonel ran a hand through his blonde locks, a small sigh escaping his lips and he nodded slightly. Like she was waiting for this moment all this time, Rachel jumped up and approached Eric, reaching out with a hand to delicately caress his arm. Her brown eyes were filled with worry and a hint of guilt that left Eric clearly feeling uneasy.

“Maybe you need a break. Do you need to take it off?” she asked gently but Eric violently shook his head in response.

“I'm okay, really. I promise.” his voice was a lot harsher than he probably intended for it to sound. Rachel took a step back, her expression still full of worry and guilt and even Nick felt forced to sit up straight when he heard the colonel's tone of voice. Eric's pair of amber eyes wandered back and forth between Nick and Rachel and he blinked a few times, a hint of regret burrowed in them. He flinched again as he got up from his chair and took a few steps through the tent with no real destination.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you.” Eric apologized and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted all of a sudden, tired of the pressure of the mission ahead and the posture he had to uphold in front of the higher ups. If Nick didn't know better, he'd say that Eric was tired of fighting. There was a painful tenseness in Eric's shoulders that filled Nick with the same, or at least similar concern as Rachel.

The marine chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second, unsure with himself about what he could do to lighten up the situation and make the colonel feel better. Then he got up and put a hand on Eric's shoulder, who immediately relaxed a little bit under the touch.

“Want me to take a look?” he asked quietly and tapped the shoulder straps of his backpack with a faint smile, remembering the role he had adopted despite his inexperience in the role of field medic. But if it meant helping out the people around him, then he would do his absolute best to make them feel better. Especially the ones he considered closest. “It's my duty as nurse Nick after all.”

Before Eric could react however they heard the engine of a truck getting closer. All three of them bolted towards the tent flap, looking out to see the dark campsite illuminated by the trucks headlights approaching quickly, zooming across the sand until it came to a screeching halt in the center of camp. Although it was quite dark, despite the few UV lamps they had set up as best as they could to keep potential stray vampires at bay, Nick could still make out Jason's face in the back of the truck, sitting next to a young man whose resemblance to Salim was undoubtedly. Zain looked terrified but also strangely curious. As soon as the truck came to a full halt, Mosson and Palmer jumped out and Nick fully expected them to guide Zain out of the truck or at least walk away for some rest after a successful mission. The fact that they immediately raised their guns and pointed them at the boy, causing Jason to react with his own gun pointed back at them, sent an ice cold shiver down Nicks spine.

“What the fuck-” Rachel exclaimed but Eric was quick to react. He went into a hasty jog, most likely held back from full-on sprinting by the phantom pain he tried (and mostly succeeded) to fight back, and shouted at the marines.

Luckily, his authority seemed to knock some sense into the newbies as they got a verbal beat down by both Jason and Eric before turning on their heels and retreating towards their tent. Nick and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief in unison and the marine thanked Eric in his mind for being so quick to react.

He watched Zain jump off the back of the truck and then he noticed the flap to one of the tents open. Salim stuck his head out and immediately froze in disbelief and amazement when his eyes fixated on his son. The heartfelt scene unfolding in front of everyone almost brought a tear to Nicks eye. The way Zain and Salim clung to each other. Now Nick definitely felt the connection between father and son and cursed under his breath when remembering what Salim had to go through to get to this point. It was unfair and cruel.

Rachel bumped her elbow against Nicks side, smiling up at him. Nick blinked the tear away and shrug his shoulders with a grin. Meanwhile, Salim pulled Zain into their tent, hopefully able to talk in private.

Then they noticed Jason and Eric talking while they unloaded the truck and as they both brought the bags towards the colonel's tent, Eric yelled an order through the dark of the campsite.

“Everyone off to your tents! Radios stay on in case of emergencies!”

The pair arrived at the tent and Jason dropped three heavy bags in one corner, nodding towards Rachel and Nick.

“Should've guessed.” he smirked as he locked eyes with Nick, who immediately noticed the new bruise blooming on Jason's face.

“Could say the same about you,” Nick joked, pointing at the damage, “too bad I didn't take a bet. I could've made bank.”

Jason play-kicked at Nick's foot but missed the other marine by an inch or so. Rachel and Eric looked at the bags, sharing a confused expression.

“Well, too bad we don't have any money, babe,” Rachel absentmindedly commentated on Nick's joke but then turned her attention towards Jason, face as serious as usual, “the contract said two bags total.”

“Don't worry about it. One's for Salim. But I got something else that the boy needs help with.” Jason approached Rachel, a tense expression adorning his facial features like something was truly at stake here. Rachel pulled her eyebrows together but showed willingness to listen. She nodded slightly and grabbed Jason's arm to lead him into a corner of the tent so they could talk quietly.

Nick and Eric watched them whisper for a few seconds until Eric shifted his weight and winced like he did before. He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and leaned against the desk to get the pressure off of his leg. In a panic, Nick reached out to catch Eric, afraid he might fall over, but he held back from touching him once Eric was securely leaned against the desk. Nicks instantaneous willingness to support him clearly took Eric by surprise.

“You don't look good, colonel,” Nick whispered with a warm but worried voice, “please, let me check you out.”

Eric started to shake his head and opened his mouth but Nick wouldn't let him protest this time.

“Eric. You're in pain. Rachel can see it, I can see it. Let us help you, please!”

There was that spark again. It glimmered like a warm fireplace in Nicks chest, it felt comforting and familiar, and it only increased in it's intensity when the blonde man locked eyes with Nick. There was a hint of admiration in Eric's amber eyes.

Thankfulness.

Tenderness.

Eric was a few inches taller than Nick, Nick's eyes were almost at the same level as Eric's nose and the marine blinked hard when he realized that his gaze wandered down towards Eric's lips for a fraction of a second. Luckily, the colonel didn't seem to notice.

Nick didn't want Eric to think that his intentions were not about medical care, but more about coming on to him. Even if the hint of a desire to run his fingers through Eric's soft hair popped up in his head for a split second.

“... alright.”

Nick immediately pushed his backpack off his shoulders but Eric held up a hand.

“Later,” Eric whispered, glancing over at Jason and Rachel who were clearly about to end their quiet discussion, “and take a look at her too, please. She wouldn't dare show it, but her arm worries me just as much.”

“Mh, will do.” Nick agreed. Rachel truly never showed any pain. She was stoic, strong. But Nick always thought it was a mask she put on to protect herself from others, but perhaps mostly from herself. He wondered if she built that hard shell around herself because of her and Eric's accident. No matter how much she tried not to show it, she still felt guilty and hurt and was trying everything she could to stay in control over her emotions. She was running away from something just like Nick was.

Nick felt the urge to hold Rachel close and not let go.

To protect her from any kind of cruelty the world might try and fling at her.

Kiss her until her soul was healed.

Let the world know what he felt for her.

Hold their hands through hell and back.

'Their hands' Nick repeated in his head, freezing up inside like he was a kid getting caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Instead of an annoyed parent, though, he was the one who caught himself.

“Earth to Nick,” Jason snapped his fingers in front of Nick's face, pulling him out of his train of thought. Nick blinked so his eyes could focus on the Lieutenant in front of him.

“Yeah?”

“Salim and Zain might take a while to catch up,” Jason said, “with our Colonel's permission I will do one last patrol through camp. Give 'em time to talk. Wanna come with?”

“Go ahead,” Eric answered Jason's indirect question, but gave him an apologetic smile, “but I need Sargent Kay here a little longer. Think you can handle this patrol by yourself?”

Jason chuckled as he turned on his heel to walk out the tent.

“Yessir!”

None of them said a word until Jason's footsteps were certainly out of earshot. It was Rachel who broke the silence first.

“Well. That's something.” she mumbled, her expression still as stern as when she was still talking to Jason. Eric leaned forward as much as his body would let him.

“He sounded serious. What is this 'special request' all about?”

“He didn't give me the details. Emphasized I need to make sure Zain will actually get through to London and that Zain was carrying something important.” she muttered and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Nick made a confused sound.

“The hell does that mean? Did Zain kill somebody or some shit?”

Rachel shrug her shoulders and then turned to her husband, a different kind of sternness in her eyes.

“No idea. Whatever, you are more important right now.”

Eric swallowed and raised his hands defensively.

“I know, Rach, I know. I promised Nick that he can take a look at it already. You can calm down now.” he explained frantically, to which his wife stuck out her jaw.

“You better.” she replied, grabbed Eric by the hand and pushed him onto the cot. Like making sure he wouldn't change his mind midway through, she sat down half beside him, half behind him and put her hands on both of his shoulders, squeezing lightly.

Eric sighed.

“Okay, okay. I promise, I'll stay right here.”

Nick didn't bother hiding the chuckle that escaped his throat. His Colonel looked like a boy being put into his place at the doctors office by his mother. Still grinning he opened his backpack, making sure whatever tools and medication he might need was close enough to grab.

“Permission to run my hand up your leg, Sir?”

Eric made an unimpressed face and gently kicked Nick in the shin, making Rachel snort.

“Just making sure.” Nick grinned back and pulled up the leg of Eric's pants until it was shoved up above the knee. The prosthesis had a few scratches here and there and was a bit dirty from their previous adventure with the vampires, but otherwise looked perfectly intact. The skin of Eric's knee however was already starting to turn red with irritation. Nick frowned at the sight.

“Shit looks painful.” he thought out loud.

“Shit feels painful.” Eric retorted and leaned forward to unclip the fake leg. Nick helped him pull it and the bit of fabric protecting his skin off so he could take a better look. Eric's right leg was cut off a few inches below the knee and his skin was red with irritation. A sigh of relief escaped Eric's lips as the pressure was finally released.

Nick noticed Rachel wince in the corner of his eye.

“Fuck, Eric. You should've said something.”

Eric didn't respond as he looked down sheepishly.

Nick tried to be as gentle as possible as he checked Eric's leg for injuries or chafing that broke the skin. Luckily it seemed that it was just the pressure that hurt the most.

“Well, good thing is you're not bleeding. All that chafing merely irritated the skin,” he explained, hand still resting on Eric's knee, “do you want some ice? Or painkillers?”

The Colonel bit his lower lip in thought.

“You got any ointment? It's a tad itchy.” he ultimately requested. Nick burrowed his hand in his backpack, fumbling around until he found a bottle of ointment. Without thinking he opened it and was already holding his other hand under it to catch the liquid when he stopped dead in his tracks. His mouth went dry at the thought of rubbing the ointment over Eric's leg, massaging it into his naked skin.

Even worse, what if Eric insisted on taking off his pants so that they wouldn't get drenched in ointment?

Feeling his brain short-circuiting for a second he awkwardly held out the opened bottle for Eric to grab, praying that the heat in his cheeks wasn't visible in the dim light.

“... thanks.” Eric mumbled and took the bottle with a raised eyebrow. Rachel mirrored her husbands confusion but said nothing. Nick swallowed, trying to moisturize his throat and then turned to his lover.

“Your arm. How's it holding up?” he asked gently. Despite what Nick had expected, Rachel didn't wave him off, instead she pulled her shirt up and above her head, even though Nick merely needed her to pull up a sleeve, revealing her upper body wrapped in only a bra with one upper arm bandaged.

And if his throat wasn't dry before it now turned into sandpaper.

There was no way Rachel didn't know what her half-naked body would do to the two men in the tent with her. She must have done it on purpose, Nick thought, there was no other way to explain this.

Rachel rolled her injured arm a little, testing out how far she can push her pain limits and then smiled at Nick.

“I can work with it. Probably just needs some cleaning.”

Nick nodded, trying not to stare at Rachel's skin, just like Eric desperately attempted to put his entire focus on massaging the ointment into his irritated skin. They both had mediocre success, casting Rachel a few shy glances here and there. The woman let Nick unwrap her upper arm, noticing (or anticipating) his shaking fingers. Nick cursed at himself in his mind. He must really be down bad if Rachel's not even naked upper body and Eric's exposed leg of all things made his skin tingle like he was a horny teenager.

The marine cleared his throat as he cleaned the wound, checking for any signs that it wasn't healing correctly. He was pleasantly surprised to see that it was doing well.

“Looks good,” he croaked, “should be gone in a few days.”

Rachel giggled at Nicks reaction, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled him closer until their lips touched. Nicks heart did a flip in his chest and he leaned in to deepen the kiss as much as he could, careful not to touch Rachel's still exposed wound.

Rachel gently pushed him away again after a few heartbeats, breaking the kiss, making Nick's heart yearn for more. For a second Rachel stared at him, counting the freckles on Nick's cheeks.

Their eye contact broke when Eric leaned in from the side, one hand slowly brushing through Rachel's hair until he held the back of her head in his hand. Nick leaned back to give the married couple some space and something started to build up in his guts as he watched their eyes connect. Nick already had this feeling when they were down in the temple, a heat that made his skin prickle. Down there he called it jealousy. He called it frustration and anger.

And maybe it was jealousy.

But not the kind he initially thought it was.

His eyes were glued to them, he couldn't dare look away, and as soon as Eric's lips brushed Rachel's Nick felt a breath stuck in his throat.

And then the buzzing sound of a radio made all three of them jump. Nick, who was closest to their equipment, leaned over, fumbling with his hands as he tried to grab the radio when Salim's voice came through, speaking Arabic. Nick tilted his head when he heard his last name in between the foreign words but Rachel crawled off the cot and snatched the radio from his hands.

“That's for me.” she explained but before she could push the button to reply a different voice cut through.

“Keep that shit off the radio. You know English, speak it. Made us think there was an enemy nearby.”

“Sounds like Jones,” Nick grumbled and scrunched up his nose in anger, “fucking asshole.”

Another voice joined the conversation, if you could call it that, a groggy sounding Jason telling Salim to disregard what Jones hat barked at him and giving said marine a verbal beat-down to shut him up.

Eric raised his eyebrows in respect for his Lieutenant.

“Heard my name, though, and sure didn’t understand the message, so say again, Othman?” Jason asked through the radio and now Rachel decided would be a good time to step in.

“It was for me, Kolchek.” she explained, not trying to hide the smirk that shone through her words. She talked in Arabic without waiting for a reply, dropped the radio in Nick's hands and grabbed her shirt.

“Salim wants to talk to me. It shouldn't take long.”

“I haven't finished wrapping up your wound, though.” Nick complained but Rachel held up a hand to make him stop.

“We can do that afterwards. Like you said, it's looking good already. It can manage a few minutes of air.”

Flashing the two men a soft smile she disappeared into the dark of the night, leaving Eric and Nick alone in the tent. There was a hint of awkwardness in the air and neither of them spoke a word for what felt like ages. Nick's mind was starting to come up with all sorts of fantasies about what Eric could be thinking right now. Was he upset, sad, frustrated, jealous?

Nick didn't dare look at the Colonel, instead sucking on his teeth as nervousness filled his body. This was the first time Rachel had kissed both of them back to back while the other man watched. And without the threat of death looming over them.

“I, uh,” Eric finally spoke, clearing his throat, “... we good?”

Nick couldn't help but notice the irony in those words. He turned to Eric, who had a slight rosy tint in his cheeks, and allowed for his lips to curl upwards.

“Yeah, we good.”

Eric smiled back, seemingly relieved.

“Thank you, by the way. For your help.”

Nick accepted the bottle of ointment offered back to him and put it in his backpack.

“'s what I'm here for, Sir,” Nick saluted, but in a less formal way. Eric shook his head.

“Maybe, but still. Considering our backstory, I guess it would be understandable if you didn't feel like helping me out. Even though you are certainly a very loyal and dedicated soldier.”

Nick decided to take the compliment with grace. He walked over and dared to sit next to Eric on the cot, still ready to get up as soon as he notices any uncomfortableness in Eric's aura. Which he didn't.

“I suppose getting my ass saved more than once by you helped change my opinion,” he admitted shyly, “you're not as stuck-up as I thought you were.”

The corners of Eric's lips curled up, enjoying their conversation.

“You're welcome. I'm also very grateful that you didn't let me fall into those ditches. I definitely owe you, Nick.”

Once again, the spark in Nick's chest glimmered like embers. His fists tensed up on his lap, trying desperately to suppress this feeling. It's just gratefulness, he reminded himself, Nick was grateful and nothing else.

“You made up for it the moment you gave me your UV lamp when I went into the nest. Took me by surprise, though, but I'm thankful.”

“Speaking of which, I don't know if it was bravely stupid or stupidly brave of you to do that. I mean, it did an impressive amount of damage and you made it out fine, so I guess it was a success. But I wonder what went through your mind.”

Eric leaned slightly forward, trying to catch Nicks eyes. Nick knew the ball was in his court now and he had the choice to either play it cool or open up to Eric of all people and show his true colors.

The latter was probably the healthier option, he decided.

“I guess I wanted to protect. I was terrified the entire way down there, good thing you guys couldn't see the face I made when one of those things was looking for me. Thought I was having a heart attack,” he joked but Eric didn't laugh so Nick continued. “As soon as I placed the last round of explosives though, and saw those things around me, the fear was gone in an instant. Instead I was thinking of the people I hold dear. My family, my fellow marines, Jason, Rachel...”

Nick huffed a tiny laugh.

“Even Salim and you were on my mind. Dunno if it was some sort of twisted heroism complex, but as soon as I popped the flare I prayed that you guys would make it out alive.”

Nick paused and finally dared to properly look at Eric. The Colonel was sitting straight, taking in Nick's face like he desperately wanted to hear more. The spark turned into embers once again and Nick drowned in Eric's amber eyes for a second before continuing.

“I thought I was about to die for real. But you heard me. You guys came back for me.”

A sympathetic expression adorned Eric's face and he nodded ever so slightly.

“... I couldn't leave one of my best men behind.”

Nick heard what Eric said and it resulted in a war of conflicting emotions. On one hand he was happy to get yet another compliment, to proudly wear this verbal medal that Eric just awarded him with.

On the other hand he felt incredibly humbled. Was he truly just another soldier in Eric's eyes?

Both sides tucked at him, swaying him back and forth between pride and disappointment. He tried his hardest not to show his insecurity on the outside.

“Thank you,” he said instead, his voice a little sharper than before, “I appreciate that, Colonel.”

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Nick could have sworn he saw a hint of regret in Eric's gaze, like he wanted to take back what he said or reword it so his feelings came across better. Nick ultimately wrote it off as nothing, so he dropped it, even if part of him wanted Eric to explain further.

“Ow, what the fuck Rach?!”

Jason's offended sounding voice echoed through to their tent and Nick and Eric immediately burst out laughing.

“Sounds like she's done talking.” Eric commented through his laugh. Nick nodded.

“No idea what he did, but Jason probably deserved it.”

The entrance of the tent was pushed open and Rachel stepped through, a hint of relief and pride on her face. She flopped down between Nick and Eric, grinning to herself.

“He's such an idiot.” she exclaimed, obviously talking about Jason and Nick couldn't agree more.

“Do we even dare to ask?” Eric smirked in Rachel's direction but his wife waved him off.

“He was just worried about nothing. Felt the urge to kick him in the shin for it, so I did.”

Nick expressed his admiration for his lover by whistling.

“Kicking a sleeping Kolchek, you're truly brave, Ma'am.”

“Speaking of sleeping,” Rachel turned her attention towards Nick, “where will you sleep? Zain will be with Salim until 0400 when I pick him up, so that's occupied until then.”

Nick pulled together his eyebrows as he thought through all the options he had. Maybe he could find a spare cot in the equipment tent, or curl up in the back of the truck. None of those options sounded appealing, though.

“Do you have a pillow?” he asked, ultimately settling on the back of the truck.

Eric nodded and turned towards a bag hidden under the cot, opening it and pulling out a pillow like the two already on the bed. Nick raised is arm to grab it but Eric threw it onto the cot instead like it was the most obvious thing in the world to do. He showed genuine confusion when Nick widened his eyes.

“Oh. I thought you-” Eric stuttered, “... I thought you meant that you want to sleep here with us. Was I wrong?”

His heart skipped a beat as Nick glanced back and forth between the pillow and Eric. Although this wasn't what he intended, he felt a kind of happiness rise up in his stomach.

“Uhm, I mean, I'd rather do that than what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind?” Rachel chimed in, squinting at her lover in suspicion. Nick raised his hands.

“I mean, the truck's pretty safe? I could've made that work.” he explained himself, faltering more and more with each word he spoke under Rachel's gaze. The woman shook her head.

“Nonsense. You're sleeping here with us. Colonel's orders.”

Eric looked shyly between the two people in front of him.

“I thought that was obvious.”

Nick couldn't help but smile softly. The fact that Rachel and Eric thought letting Nick sleep with them was self-evident made his appreciation for them increase tenfold. Well, he might have expected something like that from Rachel, but Eric?

All it did was set the spark in his chest aflame once more.

Rachel kicked off her boots and took a quick look at her watch.

“Still got a few hours until I have to pick up Zain. Enough time for a power nap.” she decided and turned to Nick. “Can you wrap me up so I can sleep a bit?”

Nick gratefully returned to his nurse duties, finished cleaning up Rachel's wound and put a fresh bandage around it. He then followed suit and unlaced his boots, put them neatly under the cot and crawled across the blanket until he was at the far side of the cot, next to the tent wall. It felt good, really good, to lay down next to Rachel again, like they did back at the base but this time without the constant gas masks watching their every move. On the other end of the cot Eric ran a hand through his hair, rubbed over his sore leg once or twice and then stretched out next to Rachel on the cot. They had to snuggle up a little, the cot was bigger than the standard sizes but still only supposed to support two people maximum. Nick didn't care. He enjoyed being able to wrap his arms around Rachel and pull her closer. Rachel cuddled up to both men, her forehead resting against Nicks chest and the back of her legs pressed against Eric's.

“I'll try not to wake you up.” she mumbled.

“The way you're clinging onto us might make that pretty hard.” Nick giggled, already feeling his limbs getting heavier. Eric chuckled behind Rachel.

“You can wake me up. For my goodbye kiss.”

“Stop acting like I won't return. You're so needy.” Rachel retorted harshly but the smile in her voice was too obvious not to notice.

“I want my goodbye kiss too.” Nick added, voice getting groggy.

“So needy.” Rachel repeated.

Nick managed to exhale a barely audible giggle.

And the last thing he remembered before drifting off to sleep were the rustling sound of fabric and the fingertips of a third hand resting on his waist.

[thegreatestloverofall]

TV. N.STURNIOLO

toxic!nick x m!reader

warnings: ANGSTTTTTTTT, swearing, mentions of ED, use of y/n, No happy ending NO PROOFREAD

summary: one fight can change your whole perspective on someone.

(lyrics will be in bold)

(NICK WOULD NEVER DO THESE THINGS BUT ITS JUS FOR THE PLOT)

Y/N's POV:

Tears cascade down my cheeks as I look up into nick's eyes.

"WELL MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BREAK UP!"

Those words reply in my head like a broken record as I run out of the house. I've never seen this side of him. He's always been so caring, I never suspected this to happen. Slamming the door, I quickly exit out of the house and run until my legs start to hurt.

That's what happens when you fall inlove..

-----

It's been 3weeks. 3weeks and no apology.

I check the time on my phone, 12:30am.

I'm a mess. I haven’t been eating or drinking ever since the argument at Nicks house. One minute we’re laughing and cuddling, Second minute we're screaming at each other.

I'll try not to starve myself, Just because you're mad at me..

FLASHBACK TO 3WEEKS AGO:

3rd person POV:

"HE WAS BEING ALL HANDSY ON YOU NICK!"

"NO HE WAS NOT! I'VE KNOWN HIM SINCE HIGH SCHOOL."

"THEN WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME ABOUT HIM??"

"I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING I DO! JESUS Y/N! ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR SO INSECURE WHEN IT COMES TO ME BEING FRIENDS WITH MEN!"

"I'M NOT INSECURE! HE WAS GRINDING INTO YOUR ASS ON THAT DANCE FLOOR! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DANCE WITH OTHER MEN BECAUSE I'M SCARED YOUR GOING TO LOOSE FEELINGS FOR ME!"

"WELL MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST BREAK UP!"

Y/n looked up at Nick with tears running down his cheeks, Nick had a look of anger and guilt plastered on his face. 2 seconds later Y/n runs out of the house, slamming the door.

"shit shit shit.."

PREASENT:

Nick's POV:

I knock on Y/n's door with a look of guilt plastered on my face. I knock again and again, hoping he's awake. Finally, Y/n opens the door.

"I'm so sorry i look like this. I'll get my wallet real qui- Oh.."

He looks up at me with a hurt expression.

"what do you want Nick.."

I look down at him.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry about everythin-"

"save it Nick. We broke up. I was a shit boyfriend and you were right, I am insecure. I was insecure that you would cheat on me even though you would never do that to me. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

I get taken back by the sudden confession.

"wait wha-"

"You deserve better Nick."

Y/n closes the door while I try to explain that I'm sorry. I sink down to my knees and break down in tears.

It was all my fault..

Yours truly, R.A.Y.Č.E.K☆🍓𖦹🍒𖦹☆

COMMENT IF U WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST!!

taglist: @tillies33ssss@bazooka-cazooka@christhopersturniolo

[downtoncoquetteroach]

Summary: Reader and Fred are confused about last night, reader is a little bit too sensitive but she encounters the right person to hang out with. Neville deserves a personality so I gave him one, hope you like it.

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Fem reader

Fred Weasley x Fem reader

Notes:

This ended up being way longer than what I thought, sorry but I love slow burn. No smut this time just fluff and angst.

Also no Fred, just a lazy autumn Sunday.

TW: self harm, anxiety, self deprecating reader. Also not encouraging marihuana use. They wore ugly sweaters the hole time.

Words account: 2,302

Chapter One

You can also find this work on AO3 ✨

Chapter Two:

Secrets under the covers 🌼🪄

Y/n woke up at 5am not knowing what had happened, why was she half dressed half naked? A random blanket covering her, bed messy...HOLY FUCK DID SHE? Godric's beard, she did, didn't she? The muscular pain she was feeling confirmed everything.

She dressed herself before pulling the curtains and with a lot of effort, managed to get in the loo without waking up her dormates. She looked at herself in the mirror through the darkness. She saw herself confused, a mess, in and out. What happened after...? Did she just fall asleep?. Obviously Fred couldn't stay so, no reason to freak out about it, he wasn't there and that was not a bad thing, just a normal reaction to her falling asleep after giving him her virginity. Y/n decided to clean her tears and wash herself a little before coming back to bed, where she revolved, overthinking until the sun was up.

It was a Sunday so it was a relief that she didn't have to go to classes and face him in front of everyone in the great hall, that would have been a bit to fucking much given the fact that she didn't knew the state of their now relationship (?) She obviously expected him to make the first move, her dignity didn't allow her to do anything else. So she waited in her dorm for him to come and say good morning or check on her, but it was almost noon and her stomach was the only thing demanding attention. Now y/n wasn't only hurt, but starving.

Fred was awfully quiet the whole morning, internally suffering some blockage, ignoring everything and everyone around and only reacting vaguely to Lee and George. They assumed it was just a hangover but after breakfast they confronted him.

Did someone nicked your wand brother? You are acting like Hagrid's slugs after a class with Malfoy.

No, I dunno, I reckon I did something awfully stupid last night

What was it? You said no more sneaking into Snape's den by yourself

No! It's not that, it's just-

Fred's heart stopped, Y/n was coming out of the great hall, walking without any direction, slowly, lost in her own thoughts, getting dreadfully close to their spot on the grass. George followed his twin gaze and immediately knew.

No you didn't

Shut Up

You knob head! What did you do to her? She's literally an angel and you knew she was in love with you, you said you weren't ready

Shut it George!

Fred was literally screaming in whispers and that caught y/n's attention, their eyes locked for some seconds but then she turned away visibly pissed.

George hit Fred on the head.

You, me, quidditch pitch NOW!

Y/N was swallowing her tears, she couldn't let anyone seeing her like this, they would know she was a fool. An easy one. She was feeling extremely self conscious, she was ugly and naive and boring and stupid. Fred's expression was tattooed on her brain, the feeling that she wasn't wanted, ugh. Loud evil thoughts screaming all of her flaws, everyone's eyes were on her, she was painfully digging her nails on her hand to prevent public crying when she ran into on Neville.

Oh h- hi Y/n, how's your day?

She looked at his eyes, not knowing what to say, and started crying.

Blimey, y/n did I hurt you? Wanna go to Madame Pomfrey? I can carry you if you need me to! Please don't cry I didn't mean it! I'm sorry!

Neville was freaking out, his tender words making her cry even harder, all of the things she wanted Fred to say were coming out from Neville's mouth as if he knew exactly what she needed. It was ridiculous. This whole situation was rubbish.

Nev, no! It's not you, I'm sorry, its fine. I'm fine.

Y-you don't look fine. Sorry I mean

yeah I know, it's just complicated.

They stood in silence for a moment, finally Neville got an idea.

C-come with me, I'll show you something.

Y/n was cleaning her tears with her sleeve. Considering Neville's proposition. She didn't wanted to be alone on the dorm again or worse, at the common room, so she agreed.

Neville guided her to the most predictable of all places at Hogwarts: the greenhouse. She hided a smile, it was such a Neville move to assume some plants would make her feel better. She appreciated the gesture tho, he could have just ignore her or mock and leave. But she knew Neville was not that kind of guy. However, she was wrong about him, he hadn't just took her to see some weird plants moving, they were in a hidden corner of the greenhouse, looking at a blanket behind a table full of dirt and seeds.

What are we supposed to...

Shhh

Neville crouched and removed the blanket with great care and 3 small kitties appeared inside a box.

Y/n died of tenderness, to Neville's satisfaction she looked so much better than before, her energy totally shifted while she carefully tried to got closer to the sleeping creatures. They had been born 2 weeks earlier in the greenhouse, their mom sadly didn't make it through so Professor Sprout and him had been looking out for the baby's.

He sat on the ground and made a space for y/n, she followed and beamed on the little fellows.

She looked like a totally different person now, it was one of his favorite things to see. People could change so much according to their emotions, they could be totally different persons through the day, so he always had to check on them before interacting. Something inside him told him that he could trust her so, he took out his tiny can and started to roll up.

Y/n was mesmerized, she loved cats so much and had always wanted one of her own but her mother was totally against it. It took her a few minutes to look away and noticed what Neville was doing. She was shocked.

I- if it makes you feel uncomfortable I can save it for later.

She couldn't say a word. Neville was about to put his stash away when she forced herself to speak

N-No! Uhm, it's ok it's just, I never thought you-

Its just a plant, I look it up! Compared to some day use potions it's harmless you know.

I know, I've tried some back home with my childhood friends, it's just that it's kinda illegal for muggles, and very rebellious of you.

Neville laughed, he was way more confident than ever, y/n couldn't believe it, he seemed like a whole different guy. "It's always the quiet ones" her grandma has said. She watched him concentrated in the task, effortlessly rolling a joint with his long delicate fingers, such a beautiful hands made her think of Fred. Damn, remembering so suddenly only made things worst, his face while he looked at her half hour ago made her stomach turn in the worst way. Well not the worst at least it wasn't diarrhea...

Neville noticed her vibe changing, her face holding a weird expression.

Do you want to talk about it?

She stared at him, pulling her out of her dumb thoughts. How did he knew?

Are you some sort of legilimency master or something?

He just smiled

Neville Longbottom was a year younger than y/n. They were very cordial on each other, not precisely friends because he wasn't at any of her classes but, she had always had a soft spot for him, because of his family tragedy and the struggle's he had at school. He often forgot about the password to get in the common room so she was always checking on him so he wouldn't be out for too long. She hated people bullying him.

He stopped smiling and rolling, locked his gaze on her and said something that felt like a dash of cold water

You know, I saw what happened last night.

Y/n couldn't hide her disturbance, her lips parted a little bit while he carefully continued

I mean, I saw Fred following you after you left the couch, did he did something to you?

Y/n was still trying to process the sudden revelation, she felt so embarrassed, of course someone watched, probably everyone knew by now, she was feeling hot, shame crawling over her skin, about to dig her nails on her skin to prevent crying again when he put his hand on her's

I- It's ok, I didn't mean to intrude, it's just... even if I like Fred, even if he is someone I look up for, If he hurt you or anything I'll

No! He didn't, don't worry, Im fine, really.

Uhm, ok, you sure?

Yeah, sure Neville, who would have guessed you'll be such a knight on a horse, look at you, hiding all of these personality traits.

Y/n was used to mask her emotions quite well, at least most of the time and even if he make her feel safe, she didn't wanted to spoil the moment by ranting about Fred's horrid actions. She wanted to have some fun, and a spliff with Longbottom was something to tell the kids.

He observed her for a moment and carried on, getting the shit done once and for all.

After some smokes away from the kitties they got back to their sits besides them. Neville had turned on the old record player and after some minutes, a whimsical song started playing with a female voice filling the air. The greenhouse felt like it was coming more alive, the golden light of the autumn sun falling through the glass. Neville was smiling, y/n had her eyes full of sweet dreamy light, the sun hitting perfectly on them while she saw all of the things he loved revealing themselves for her for the first time.

He had always thought that there was some sort of unnamed magic on sharing the things that you loved with someone else.

You know y/n, I'm sure that one of the reasons we are alive is to be understood.

Y/n turned her head away from him and started shaking violently, hands on her face, not a sound coming out.

Hey what's wrong!

Neville was trying to pull her hands out of her face to see if she was choking or something but then she finally managed to laugh out loud and roll on the floor

Ugh, though you were dying or something

She laughed harder

"You can go on your own way" as he said, Neville exclaimed.

Y/n was still trying to recover but put some attention to the song

I don't want to shaking up you know, I wanted him to be my boyfriend, not just fucked him

Neville's face went full red

So, I'm truly the last virgin on Hogwarts? Cheers.

Oh no Neville don't say that, there are first years that haven't -

Neville laughed

Shut it you damn creep

They fall in silent again, and some fierce song filled the room.

Damn Neville that's good, what is it?

Fleetwood Mac, it's American.

I had never ever heard of them, are they new?

Nah

How did you came to have such a gourmet taste in music?

Ahm, this is my mother's, she kinda lent it to me.

Y/n felt silent, the weight of Neville's words falling over her, she knew what had happened to Neville's parents, she found out one day from professor McGonagall talking to Madam Rosmerta on the Three broomstick s. Y/n had felt so much sorrow for it all.

Neville felt the need to fill the silent

L-last nights record was mine too you know, Andromeda Black send it to my mother as a gift some years ago.

Oh wow, really?

Yeah, she's like a muggle record dealer for wizards with strange interests.

Y/n was lying on the floor looking at the clouds through the ceiling windows. Neville was such a bad ass behind the scenes, he was probably the coolest kid in the whole school

How can you be so cool? You are not even trying, it's so not fair Longbottom.

He felt a twist inside his stomach, cheeks wildly blushing. One of the things he liked the most from y/n was that she always said the things she thought about people to their faces, specially compliments, must of the people would be embarrassed to say such nice things to others, scared of what they could interpret, but not y/n. She was brave and sweet at the same time.

It started to get dark, they were really hungry, exhausted from all the laughter.

Ugh I'm so hungry but I don't want to go and have dinner with all of the Gryffindor's. I'm usually with them and everyone will notice me not talking to them.

Neville had an idea.

Why don't you go to my room and wait, I'll bring us dinner.

Really? Would you do that?

Sure

Neville stood and helped Y/n who had sleeping legs, he made her run and the laughed all the way up to the castle.

They had a great dinner, never shutting up about their favorite desserts, records and bands, the fact that Neville didn't knew that much about muggle concerts or y/n didn't knew about the wizard's society because she was a muggle born.

They pulled the curtains and made a silence spell to avoid Ron and the others, prolonging their now sleepover.

They were awfully comfortable, a weird feeling of belonging pulling them. They felt like they had known each other all their lives. They fell asleep while they shared secrets under the covers.

[softly-potter]

Blacksun Week - Day Three

Day three submission for Blacksun week ☀️

@fromshadowstosun

Prompt: unspoken word

Word count: 788

Warning: depictions of depression

-

"Blake."

Blake looks up, blinking out of her blank stare and shifts, her back stiff. Sun is starring at her from across the table, his hands tented and his chin is pressed against his fingers.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Blake whispers and her throat feels like its been run over a few times. 

Don't say it.

He drops his hands and instead of speaking, offers her a small smile before his attention moves back to his cereal. They both know what he was going to say; they both know it's better that he doesn't.

Standing, she gingerly takes her mug to the sink, and when she passes him, he grabs her wrist. She shuts her eyes because she knows if she looks at him, she'll crack. Her ribcage will splinter and every word she's ever thought, every emotion of hate and desperation and love and anger will spill out of her like spools over ribbon.

"Baby." Sun whispers and his voice nicks her heart, chipping at it's walls. She tugs her arm free, and empties the contents of her mug into the sink before she stalks to her room, making herself close the door gently instead of slamming it. He doesn't deserve any of it, but especially not her anger.

As she settles herself on the edge of the bed, she strains to hear his movements. His spoon clangs against his bowl before she hears the chair scrap against the floor as he stands, his footsteps light in the kitchen. Blake presses her knuckles to her mouth as she tugs her knees to her chest and listens, her eyes fluttering shut as his footsteps pad down the hall, and pause before her door.

"I'm headed to class," Sun says through the door, his voice slightly muffled. Right, class. When was the last time she attended one? She can't remember. How she was supposed to just bounce back from the Ever After to a normal life is beyond her, yet the answer is so simple; she couldn't.

"Want me to bring you something when I get back?" He asks when she doesn't respond, and Blake shifts, distracts herself by picking lint from her leggings.

"No." she says, but her voice is quiet and she doesn't know if he can hear her. She waits for the sound of his footsteps, and cringes when she hears the doorknob turn instead.

"Blake," Sun says, his face laced with a mixture of concern and optimistic expectation, and it makes Blake's skin shiver. "I just..."

Don't say it, please.

"I'm worried," Sun says, dodging the statement they both dread. "about you, and this. you can't...hole up."

"There's nothing for you to worry about." Blake sighs, turning over to her back. She stares at the ceiling, at its dingy colors and realizes she never painted her bedroom the way she wanted to.

She hears Sun huff and imagines him crossing his arms. "My girl’s got survivor’s guilt and that's not right."

Blake shoots up straight, her swishing around her shoulders as she glares at him. "I'm not your girl."

"Uh huh." Sun grunts, his nostrils flaring and she knows he wants to disagree. Blake balls her fists.

"I'm not. I am nothing to you, got it?" She seethes, her anger palpable. She wants to scream, to tear at her hair until it breaks, cut into her skin until it bleeds and suddenly she's not sure she even wants to continue breathing.

Suns mouth twists into a sad expression and she watches as his fingers flex in their gloves. "Blake, I lo-"

"Don’t.” she snaps, and her voice shakes. She blinks rapidly before she turns away, surprised by the sudden tears. When was the last time she'd had enough energy to cry?

"Blake." He tries again, softer this time.

"Sun," Blake retorts, her tone matching his. "Don’t, okay? You'll break us if you do."

She glances at him just in time to see him nod, and then he's walking so quickly that she barely has time to register his proximity. He cups her face with both hands, blue eyes staring for so long it makes her shiver.

Dropping his head, Sun kisses her softly on the cheek, and whispers. "Alright."

He lets go of her face and heads for the door. Blake's skin is flushed where his mouth had been, and she presses her icy fingers' to the spot as if that'll warm her extremities. Glancing over his shoulder, he offers her a sad smile, saying all the things she can't bear to hear.

I love you.

She tries to smile back but it's perplexing and feels out of place on her face, so she gives him a soft nod.

I love you too.

[whywhaatt]

write some angst. huge sad angst. argument? sure! fucking idk make me cry. any cc, idc, just make me sad.

we got some sad shit baby💪💪💪

"You need to leave." (big t x reader)

words: 1.368

a/n: ok so basically... i just got drunk, then when i was sober i wrote how i was thinking. sorry if its hard to read but have fun :)

warnings: alcohol mention + use, yelling, and a whole lot of cussing

-

Tanner is getting on my god damn nerves. Last night, I spent the night alone in my apartment and dressed for a date that did not happen. Every text and call I send him I get no answer. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be upset, worried, or pissed off but somehow I'm feeling all three.

For context, we've had this date planned for a couple of weeks. It's already been postponed due to my job or random things Nick asks him to do. And after 3 weeks, we finally both had a free day to have a simple and good date.

15 missed calls, 50+ texts, and 10 hours later I just parked my car in front of Tanner's house. I've gotta calm down. It could've been a mistake, a stupid mistake at that but we all mistakes. No what am I thinking, he deserves to get yelled at. So many thoughts are going through my head. At one point I'm pissed off, but on the other I don't know what happened.

I grab my shit, locking my car behind me, and walk up to the front door. Giggling at the "gay" welcome mat, I ring the door bell... no answer. Okay? I'll just ring it again... no answer again. What is going on? Nick's room is right here, at least he should be able to hear it.

I'm calling Nick.

"Hello?" He picks up the phone.

"Hey Nick, I'm outside. Can you let me in?"

"Yeah sure, one sec" He hangs up. A couple of seconds later, the door opens. A simple "thanks" comes out my mouth all muffled as I shove past Nick to walk towards Tanner's room. Isaac sitting on the couch, looks up and let's me know Tanner's still asleep. Great. Just great... I don't want to wake him up in a bad mood.

Whatever. He deserves it. I need to know what happened. I slam open his door to see him laying in bed sound asleep, with alcohol bottles covering his desk and his sweatpants on the floor next to the bed. His room's a mess, well when isn't it really? The only time its considered to be clean is when you clean it.

He must've heard the door open, cus he slowly wakes up and turns over to see me standing in his room.

"Baby, w-what are you doing here?" he asks so innocently.

"What am I doing here?? I should be asking what you're doing here?" I'm basically yelling.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?!? What do I- uh. I can't with you. We had a date planned for last night!"

"Wha- OH!! Baby, baby please come here. Please come here I'm so sorry."

'No- No absolutely not. What did you do last night? Tell me."

"I-I was drinking with Isaac and Yumi. We played that stupid truck sim game and streamed. Then I just drank and watched anime until I passed out I guess." He admits. What. The. Fuck. I must've said that out loud cus Tanner immediately started to apologize again, "I'm so sorry baby, I completely forgot. Please let me make it up to you".

"No, I'm going home. You better find a way to make this better" I say as I walk out his room and closing the door behind me. The guys must've heard it all happen, cus I could feel Isaac and Nick staring at me as I walk out the front door. I didn't say a word, I just kept my head low and kept walking towards my car. Once I got in my car I just needed to scream.

FUCK.

Okay, that's a little bit better.

-

I got home and immediately turned my phone completely off, tossing it on my night stand and not looking back. I just need to do something else, get my mind off of what just happened. I need a drink. I grab some alcohol from the mini fridge I keep next to my desk. It's a vodka kind of day.

5 shots in...

10 shots in...

20 gulps in...

fuuuck. maybe i should've stopped like 20 sips ago. were those even considered sips? they were too big to be sips. my brain is fuzzzzyyy.

i gottta admiT what i said to Tanner was fuckked up, but i don't mean any of it. I should text him. N-NO!! I'm not texting him.

But I miss him, no I dont. fuck im crying now. ok this is happeninggg. I need to lay down. go lay on the bed. okay. im on the bed now.

knock knock knock

what. what the fuck was what.

knock knock knock

there it is again. am i dying? fuck. is that god? it's getting louder

knock knock knock

oh wait. its my frontt dooor. silly me. i'll go open it. come on body get up. one steep at a time.

"Baby. You scared me." oohhhh iits tanner.

"H-H-Heeeeeeeyyyy Taaaannnerrrrr" wait no i'm mad at him. actually, i'm just falling, oh shit.

"Oh my god, let's get you in bed. Come on" heee says while catching me, he's so strongg. i can feel his muscles, oh my god.

im laying down now. in my bed, i don't remember getting here. oh yeah Tanner.

"Y-Youu, youung sir, you neeed to leave" i slur outt, hehe.

"I'm not leaving you like this"

"Buuut. I'm mad at you a-a-and so you need to leave."

"Just go to-"

-

I woke up in pajama's and a massive headache. What the-

"Are you okay?" Oh. I remember now. I shake my head yes and sit up to see Tanner sitting on the foot of my bed. God, I'm regretting a lot of shit now.

"Baby... I'm so sorry. Can we talk about this? I need to apologize a lot." He says, so quiet it's basically a whisper. He looks up at me meeting my eyes. Was he.. crying? His eyes were all puffy and his hair was all messed up.

"Look, I fucked up. I know I did. But, baby, please forgive me for it. This is the first date I've missed in the forever the fuck long we've been dating. You didn't deserve that. You don't deserve that. I tried to think of all the things I could buy you, or do for you, to make up. But truthfully, the best option was being here for you and letting you know I care.

"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I love you. I love you so fucking much. At the end of the day, I would choose you over anybody. Please, baby, just forgive me so I can forgive myself." Tanner whispers, a few tear leaving his eyes.

"It's sad, the first thought I had is that you were cheating on me. Then I thought you died, or just decided you hated me. I spent all of last night on the couch crying in the outfit I would've worn. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I just let my emotions get the best of me. You just... You really scared me. I thought I lost you." I confess. I can't make eye contact with him. I close my eyes as streams of tears run down my face and onto the pillow I've been holding. I feel the bed shift and I think Tanner got up and walked away, but suddenly I feel a pair of arms wrap around me.

-

For the past 30 minutes Tanner and I have been doing the 3 C's: cuddling, crying, and comforting.

"Relationships are hard" I think aloud.

"Yeah but we make it work." Tanner says, kissing my neck. My head is still pounding from all the alcohol I had, I can imagine Tanner was feeling the same when I yelled at him. To whoever said relationships were supposed to be easy, fuck you. It's hard to put your total 100% trust and love into one person all the time. And on top of that, you get that back. Plus work, or school, and making sure you're still taking care of yourself.

"I'm glad I have you" I confess.

Today was a long ass day.

a/n: this one is shorter, but i honestly cried while writing it. sorry if the drunk part is too hard to read!! requests are open so do whatever you will with that information. love yall, and thank you so much for all the support

[riggerbison]

1, 4, 18, 34? 🤎

sorry it took me a day to get to these....it's just been well ya know

1 - What are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made?

Oh you made me go digging because well it's been a while since I've made anything that I'm like "oh hell yeah". case in point was i made this not me edit almost two years ago but it's still one of my favs. then i'm going to go with these two ray edits (x, x) from a year ago.

4- A set that flopped but deserved better

i always feel like flopped is such a range since there's a number of sets i have that have 30 or less notes but like it's expected because it wasn't some popular media. however, this ray edit i made for your birthday i did think would get more but alas it did not which i loved the overlays for it

18- For the aesthetic, for the laughs, or for the feels what your preference

*stares in the camera like i'm in the office* as if you don't know...i want to hurt everybody or at least make them scream at me to fuck off so for the feels. however, i'm also hilarious so i do even it out with for the laughs.

34- A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out

okay so i think the sets that actually take me the longest are the lgbtqcharacter sets which is why i have not done one in a while because matching coloring is just a bitch with those too. however, i decided not to choose one of those because i would say i'm prouder of other things that took me a long time. so i couldn't decide between this nick edit or the kp magazine edit neither were necessarily hard they just took a while...still mad i couldn't find the actual GQ font

gif maker asks

[meraki-yao]

I know we shouldn't compare them because it's not fair but when I think about how much criticism rwrb received as a film and how it was never enough for the audience but the first reviews of the idea of ​​you call it "film of the decade" (I really doubt it, please people watch more movies) or say that people were screaming in the theater during the sex scenes... As a queer person it makes me suffer that the projects made for us are never good enough for the public but for straight films literally is enough the bare minimum to make them scream masterpiece. Again, this isn't a comparison or hate for tioy but it makes me sad.

Honestly, I'm in the exact same place as you are. I was thinking about it a lot this morning.

I don't know how fair my judgement is because I am inherently biased towards RWRB but I also feel upset about how much TIOY is getting compared to RWRB. Granted TIOY has the advantage of star power, with Nick being more well-known after RWRB and M&G and Anne freaking Hatheway, and to a certain degree One Direction/ Harry Styles, but just from the premise... It's doesn't sound as groundbreaking or new as what RWRB or even M&G did. I can expect it to be a fun romantic movie, but I can't see it being something as... fresh and impactful/ meaningful to an audience as RWRB and M&G are.

I don't know how much right I have to say this as someone who currently identifies as cis-straight, but the double standards between queer media like RWRB and heterosexual media like TIOY is very frustrating, It's like there's so many more steps for queer media to climb to "catch up" with a straight media of a similar genre/premise. Even with the ratings, RWRB did not deserve R at all. But I do think we're gradually making steps towards improving this phenomenon. Slow steps, but steps nonetheless. So please don't loose hope.

As for "film of the decade"... I'm sorry but that's gotta be an exaggeration. Stuff like Barbie, Oppenheimer, Avenger Endgame, Spider-Verse being called "film of the decade", I can understand, but this is not it. Hell, as much as it's straight up part of my soul now, I don't think RWRB fits "film of the decade". If we're taking that title seriously, then that's gotta be something really creative and new, something that hits hard. So yeah, you're right. People need to watch more movies, or have better media literacy.

I don't think there's been a single day since the movie was released that I didn't agonize and grieve over what we could have had. RWRB had so many disadvantages: As upsetting as it is, queer media, especially rom-com is still inherently seen as something lesser, which is fucked up, but unfortunately it's where we're at right now. On top of that, the timing of the strike directly coincides with the promo period of RWRB. The strike was for a good cause and achieved great things for actors, it was necessary, but that doesn't stop the lost of what we could have from hurting. So compared to other movies and projects (and not even necessarily just the boys' projects, recent streaming media in general) RWRB had so many disadvantages. If this was a race, then our starting line was pulled back a couple of miles.

But on the bright side, you gotta think: even with nearly zero promo, even with so many disadvantages and setbacks, RWRB still managed to achieve a lot: Most streamed movie on the platform globally for (I think?) three weeks, top most-streamed three romcoms on the platform all time, PGA and Glaad award nomination (and hopefully more to come down the line) and look at us! We're still going strong, and a sequel is in talks. There's never a fair comparison when it comes to things like this, but I said we're pretty amazing, and that's something that can't be taken away.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I FINISHED EPISODE SEVEN AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

😭😭😭😭💔❤️ ISAAAAAAC 😭 MY BOYYY <3333 HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS ❤️❤️😭 I LOVE HIM!! I hope that art piece helped though :')). Also poor James 😭 xd. But hey at least he's supportive (though the way I was like :'O and then he said "you just haven't found the right person yet" and I went -.- xD. Except a little more like sigh raise eyebrow with a bit of a smile bc :/ you were so close xDD). But seriously Isaac 😭😭❤️❤️ my guy. I love him. I hope he figures it out soon :( :')) <3333.

TAO AND ELLLLLE!!!! AAAAHHHHHHH :'DDD. The GROWTH from Tao, can we talk about that?!!! He :D! I mean he was definitely thrown off at first but that's okay :')). Then he was supportive and lovely and your honor I love him 😭. And ELLE!! OUR GIRL GOT ACCEPTED :D!!! AND HAD HER ART DISPLAYED!! HECK YEAH GIRL :DDD!! AND ALSO THE ART WAS T H E M I'M NOT OKAY 😭😭❤️❤️🥰.

Also, everyone else at that exhibition: :D- YOO those are the people!!

(like the ones in the picture lol)

Anyway I love them your honor thank you <3 xD

SLAYYY NICK GO OFF!! TO YOUR DAD AND YOUR BROTHER AND EVERYBODY :DDD!!!

AND SLAYYY CHARLIE GO OFF!! TO BEN YOU SLAYED :DDD!!!

Also gosh that DINNER. Was (yes that period's on purpose I'm making it clear it's not "that dinner was", but just "it was" without the it) the most awkward thing I've ever seen xD. I mean not really but it was pretty bad xD.

Just imagining though lol like,

Nick: I don't care what you think

Charlie's parents: *trying to look as far away as they can*

Nick's mom: You don't have a right!

Charlie's parents: wow yeah this for is really good huh, yeah. . .

XDD I just can't lol

Anyway xD!

But AYYYY NICK DID IT HE CAME OUT AND EVERYTHING WENT OKAY I MEAN LIKE. IN THE END xD :D!!! 🥰🥰

Also Tori GO. OFF!! The grab of David's arm and the kick of his phone xD, girl SLAY!!! We love her so much in this house 🥰🥰🥰. Also her and Charlie playing video games was really sweet :'DD

Anyway I am sorry your dad and brother suck Nick <333

I do hate your brother though so there's that 🥰🥰 punched the bed repeatedly during the dinner scene and of course whisper screamed my head off <33

And AAAAHHHHHHH Charlie not eating much :')) I noticed I during the meal and then the brought it UP too 😭😭💔. Help I'm not okay <333. We can get through this :')). Me and them xdd. Them all, surrounding this, lol.

Also Nick looking up eating disorders 😭😭😭💔❤️❤️ it broke me but it was really sweet <33 he's worried about Charlie :'(( (kinda the reason for the sweet and kinda a separate statement, it's also sweet for like trying to understand reasons and whatnot)

And AAAHHHHHH NICK AND CHARLIE ARE GOING TO PROM TOGETHER :DDD listen I love them so much <333 and all of the so much :D!!

Also Imogen so sorry you're still the token straight xD but slay for you Sahar :D

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DARCYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔.

HONEYYYY!!! I'M SO SORRY AND ALSO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Y'all as soon as I saw the purple stuff around the door I died :') help I'm not okay <333 but more importantly help Darcy :((( worry about her before me D':

Gotta say though her outfit slays so hard and AAHHHH everybody helping to pay for it :'DDD <333 I love them all so much. Also her and Tara were being ADORABLE!! And Tara's mom was hilarious in that first scene lol xD mood.

Anyway AAAHHHHHHHH MY POOR GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️💔❤️. I really hope she's okay (I mean as okay as she can be) :((( ik there's other stuff but whatever honey my love go to Tara's <333

My poor babey 😭💔❤️

Anyway, amaaazing episode, I love them all so much <3333 🥰🥰❤️ I'm also not ready for the next episode :')) 😭

And awww, the last episode 😭😭❤️💔. This was the second to last episode :'(( :')). Should I have split it into two days to savor it more? Maybe. Did I? Absolutely not lol. Anyway, this season is so good and I'm gonna miss I so much xdd <3. Immediately lol. Especially if there's a cliffhanger or something (which I feel like I might've seen someone mention but it was just a glimpse so they may have been talking about another episode lol).

ANYWAY!!! Lovely 🥰🥰🥰. NOW ONTO EPISODE EIGHT!!!

[piltover-sharpshooter]

KILLER CLUES --Finale.

Shoot him.

She does her best to ignore the voice in her head. The one that's always there each time she has found a criminal like them, the one that whispers into her ear that monsters like this can't be changed...that the world would be a better place with them dead. The city would be a better place with them dead.

Shoot him.

It was easier to ignore when she was sheriff. There were rules to follow, an example to set, people who looked up to her...now it was just her, a small office in Zaun, and the people she had failed to protect. This 'Hannya Killer' had finally being corned...but not before he killed another person.

"You don't have to do this Sheriff" His voice had a heavy Ionian accent and the ceremonial knife in his hand. Despite his face looking kind, Caitlyn could see the hate in his eyes, the contempt for her being who she was. "I'm like you...I wished to clean the filth from the streets"

"And summoning a demon will help with that?" She didn't even bother correcting him about the fact that she wasn't a sheriff, he was either ignorant or trying to irk her.

She doesn't care.

"Oh please, She--"

The bullet flies just past his head, nicking his ear which he clutches in pain, bloodspurting over the corpse of the most recent victim, cursing in his native tongue words that insult Cailtyn just for being a woman.

She doesn't care.

"I don't know why you did it. Theatrics, honest Zealous behavior, just sheer fearmongering, people are dead and you are responsible." Shoot him. Shoot Him. Shoot--. There's movement behind the killer, a small moment of surprise is squashed as Caitlyn realizes that she won't need to choose "There's one thing you missed"

"And that is?" His face filled with malice and anger, readying the knife to fight her

"You did the ritual perfectly...well, almost perfect. You managed to summon the Hannya...but contain it? That you failed"

The look in his face would be comical were it not for the body raising behind him. The thing that used to be a corpse had a bulging yellow eyes, a wicked grin, horns and fangs...and a look of comtempt at the killer. It was over in seconds, but that didn't take away from the awfulness of it all, the sounds of bones breaking, of screams, as the demon bit into him, broke flesh and bone.

She just stands there.

She could stop it perhaps. He pleades her to.

She just simply doesn't want to.

She. Doesn't. Care.

When it is done, when the noises stop, the demon stares at Caitlyn, as if testing her...and then it does something that surprises her. It smiles, not with anger like it did with the killer, but genuine warmth.

And then the body drops, like a puppet with cut strings.

Caitlyn stands there, holding her sniper both in surprise and dissapointment. It seems as if the blood of the killer was the last ingredient to wake the demon, and that did the job for her. An Onryo, if she had to guess, the amalgamation of all the women he had killed, and when he was gone, so was the reason for their ire.

At the very least the killer was stopped.And so she walks up to the victims body, and picks it up with no fear, as if a demon hadn't just used it to enact terrible vengeance.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you" She says as she gently carries her off, one of her hands going to a flamable agent she had. With a simple prime and drop, it began to burn down the abandoned factory, by the time firefighters came here everything here would be long gone from this world.

She walks back to Zaun, back to the city that hates her, perhaps rightfully so. To give this poor victim the burial they deserve, and to comfort those still alive with the knowledge the monster, the true monster, was gone.

And then she hears her other voice, the voice she always tries to listen to. Not Vengeance...not Justice...Protection. The thing she always wanted to do. The thing she NEEDED to do.

Help them.

She hears that voice. She follows its command. Always.

She cares.

[multi-facets]

Anime Rambling.

[Warning: There's a lot of improper language, upsetting statements, misogyny, and references to violent acts in this post.]

I recently had a short chat with @und8e2ff (hi there [waves]) about misogyny in anime and anime fandoms, and they encouraged me to say more from my point of view. So since it's a Sunday and there's not much else to do now that most of my chores are completed (aside from working on my novel), I figured "eh, why not."

Fair warning: I'm coming to this subject with my own experiences and biases. If you want a truly smart commentary on this, I'm not the right person to ask.

I was a younger teen when the North American Anime Boom of the '90s hit. I'd seen anime before and simply never known it ("Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid" on VHS, "Grimm's Fairy Tales" on Nick Jr, and "Warriors of the Wind" on VHS at five or six, for instance), but now shows like "Sailor Moon," "Ronin Warriors," "Dragonball Z," and "Mobile Suit Gundam Wing" (to name a few) were taking over the airwaves, and audiences hadn't seen plots or animation like theirs before.

Magical girls. Giant mecha. Transforming boys. Screaming warriors. It was all a massive hit, transforming American entertainment and art in ways that could never have been predicted in the '90s. Several webcomics kicked off by imitating their style. Conventions started become more varied in what they could offer. Dubbing looked like a viable career. Fansites sprang up, the fanfiction scene that had been around for ages suddenly exploded thanks to newbies, and fan reactions ranged from "That scene was so moving!" to "I did some research, and that symbolism is compelling," to "I love everything about the art and the style," to "The politics are hard to follow, can anyone explain?" to "How was this phrased in Japanese, does anyone know?" to "Holy crap this is a lot more censored than I realized," to "OMFG I FUCKING HATE MIAKA/RELENA/CHIBI-USA/MIA THEY'RE SUCH BITCHES WHORE SLUTS CUNTS I'M GONNA KILL THEM ALL THEY'RE ALL SO USELESS THEY DESERVE TO BURN IN HELL HEERO/RYO/PICCOLO/TAMAHOME/DARIEN/KURAMA IS MINE ALL MINE DO YOU HEAR ME MINE!"

.... wait, what?

Yeah. That- That was a thing. It was disturbing to see the sheer vehemence, vitriol, and sheer HATRED female characters in anime were getting. There were sites slamming them at every turn for their behavior, their clothing, their skill sets, their roles, and personalities. No female character could do anything right. If they were modest homemakers who were genuinely happy to be married with kids, they were reeling feminism back a hundred years. If they were action girls, they were stealing the show from the men. If they were outclassed in any way, they were useless crybabies. If they were aloof political figures trying to survive a rocky political climate, they were frigid bitches.

And most of this was coming from girls and women.

Now, folks more articulate than me have pointed out why these reactions happened, and the essays are varied and well thought out. But back then, in the thick of it, I only saw an insane amount of immaturity, insecurity, low self-esteem, jealousy, envy, rage and hatred against fictional female characters for the "crime" of being cute girls or attractive women around adorable boys and hot men.

I could be wrong, of course: Like I said, I'm talking about this now through several years and my own experiences and biases. But when you find posts saying (for instance) characters like "Fushigi Yuugi's" Miaka deserved to be raped because she's such a stupid bitch and doesn't deserve Tamahome.... yeah, that sticks with you. Back then, I don't think any of these people had much perspective or understanding, or even empathy. I didn't even fully understand just how fucked some of these characters' lives were until much later, but I still wasn't advocating for their deaths.

Like- okay, I'm sorry, but there's still lots of sexism in anime. Female characters always had to be less powerful than men in combat, or they were non-combatants. Setsuna Mudo of "Angel Sanctuary" flat-out tells the demon princess Kurai, an impressive dragon-summoning sorceress despite her relatively young age, that women are supposed to be beautiful so men will want to protect them. Some female characters don't get a chance to shine unless there's a minimal male presence. Go Nagai's first run of the "Devilman" manga was cut short, so he took it out on Miki Makimura by having her killed in the story, and ever since then, there is barely any incarnation of her that doesn't get murdered or just have lousy luck, and she almost never truly has a chance with Akira Fudo, the boy she loves. Admittedly, I don't know if Nagai-sensei wrote it all like that because he thought it was the only way the story could go, or if he really did make Miki the target of his disappointment, but he has hardly ever thrown her a bone, either.

As for what the characters were going through, Chibi-Usa was over nine hundred years old, but she'd been stuck as a child for that long and was clearly suffering from survivor's guilt and PTSD. Usagi herself was FOURTEEN when she saw the scope of evil she was up against, and heard she was caught in a tragedy in her last life. Saori Kido of "Saint Seiya" was admittedly a spoiled brat, but got a severe reality check when her grandfather died and she learned she's the incarnation of a GODDESS with all the attached responsibilities that go with it at what was originally thirteen years old! But guess what, that lead to character development!

Relena Darlian saw her father get caught in an explosion, and before he died of his injuries, he told her she was adopted, which is a hell of a thing to tell your shell-shocked kid before you croak. And Relena would later be yanked into politics as a puppet while struggling with her lost innocence and attempting to uphold ideals too big for her to handle alone. Hell, how do we know she wasn't suicidal when she yelled for Heero to come kill her? I'm not saying she didn't make some foolish choices, but hell, she was what, fifteen when her life went tits-up? It's not often we make good decisions at that age!

Nasute Yagyu/Mia Koji of "Yoroiden Samurai Troopers/Ronin Warriors" was seventeen when Japan went to Hell, and instead of freaking out, she stole a policeman's bike, pedaled to the epicenter of the crisis, protected a lost child, and demanded that the heroes stop competing against each other and work together. And it worked! And when her poor grandfather died as a result of the Youjakai's/Netherworld's forces targeting him, Mia got to work through her tears to become the expert the Troopers/Warriors needed. Ryo even tried to tell her that she really should take a moment because of her loss, but she kept going because she was still badly needed and her grandpa entrusted all his work to her.

These are just a few examples, but I kept seeing fans, especially girls, who had absolutely no empathy about any of it, insisting they could be stronger, better, smarter, more helpful, more powerful. (That's called hubris, y'all.) The fanfiction scene reflected this, in which female characters were treated like shit, tortured, raped, murdered horribly, drastically misrepresented to make the self-inserts look better, or just written out entirely so the fans could write themselves in and.... usually do exactly what the female characters did. Or they would die heroically cradled by the hero they coveted. Or they would write reams of yaoi that still forced the male characters into heteronormative roles. (Again, just a few samples.)

I'll pause here to say there's nothing wrong with wanting to be part of a story that means a lot to you. I just rarely saw any well-done, non-hateful examples of it in those days.

And y'know what? These fans wouldn't even HAVE their pretty boys in giant mechs if female fans in Japan hadn't set a precedent! When "Mobile Suit Gundam" was CANCELED during production (we nearly had a world without Haro!), a letter-writing campaign saved it, and who wrote the majority of those letters? Girls and women from fifteen to twenty-five! They saved "Mobile Suit Gundam," and it became a franchise that is still a worldwide hit!

I was very, very confused about all this as a teenage girl, and now that I'm forty-one, I still don't really get it, especially since sexism is still a problem in media and reality. (This was all happening during the "Girl Power!" trend, too. It was so counter-intuitive. Why weren't we banding together to support the female characters and try to get more women in media? Why weren't the fans inspired to try writing their own things if they were so disappointed with female characters instead of lashing out?) There are even male content creators who get upset when their work is aimed at men, but also draws a large female audience that gets them paid.

But it does make me wonder what those hateful fans would think if I was able to go back in time and tell them "Hey, there's a series called 'Gundam: The Witch From Mercury' and it has a lesbian couple as pilots. Yeah, no pretty boys front and center this time, we got some awesome young ladies showing their stuff instead."

And I also wonder if, now that we're all older, they'd have the experience, perspective, knowledge, and empathy to look back at their behavior and say "How embarrassing. I wasn't being kind at all."

Because hell. Like I said: It's not always easy to make good choices as a teenager.

[radicalrascals]

@etxrnaleclipse for miscellaneous angst starters

"you aren’t acting like yourself" (Ben to Nick)

"I didn't sleep very well." Always the lies. Nick inhaled sharply. Fuck. Ben deserved better. After all they went through together, everything Ben had entrusted him with, he owed him the truth.

"Actually, it's..." Nick fell silent and finally stopped actively avoiding looking Ben in the eyes. For so long he'd just been stewing in self pity, feeling sorry for himself and angry at the world, but when asked to put in words what was wrong, his mind went blank.

"I'm sorry, if I was distant. It's just that... the full-moon is fast approaching and after what happened at the abandoned house... I can't stop thinking about the night I was bitten."

Nick shook his head. "I can still hear the music, you know? The howling. Screaming. Gunshots. Like a broken record. And I should be scared or sad or... I don't know. Not angry. Right? I shouldn't be angry. But I am. Angry pra caralho." Angry 'as fuck', indeed. "I don't want to take it out on you." But avoiding confrontation hadn't been any better.