#/ answered /

[ddarker-dreams]

Do you have any Chrollo crumbs for those of us who are down bad for this loser of a man? Truly a curse to be attracted to him 😔

"Would you kill someone for me, if I asked?"

You're sitting cross-legged atop freshly washed linens, which smell faintly of laundry detergent and dryer sheets. Before you unceremoniously flung yourself onto the bed, with all the grace of a newborn fawn, it appeared picturesque, like the cleaning staff had ironed out every wrinkle.

In Chrollo's brief absence, you've made the king-sized bed your own. The pillows have been adjusted to your liking. You used the extras to build your ill-fated bulwark down the bed's center, in what would separate you from the enemy for an estimated two or three minutes.

"Where's this coming from?"

While asking this, he gets to work dismantling your barricade, not even dignifying the architectural wonder with a comment.

"A place of curiosity."

"Hm," he hums. "It'd depend on the target."

You scuttle toward the furthest reaches of the bed as he makes himself comfortable, mourning your barricade's demise.

"... Does that mean there are people stronger than you out there?" You ask. He regards you with a blank expression. "I'm trying to gauge my options."

Chrollo closes his eyes and smiles softly. "How morbid."

"Yeah, it's almost like I'm stuck with a person who is a terrible influence," you eye the hand that creeps your way like it's a viper. It lunges out at you, finding your wrist and gently tugging you closer to the serpent. Freeing yourself from the maws of a starving beast would be easier.

"Would that make you feel better?" Hearing his voice so close to your ear makes your skin crawl. You can feel his warm breath, smell the remnants of the cologne he applied in the morning and the complimentary mint left on the suite's countertop. "You're not worried some other scoundrel, far worse than I, might snatch you up?"

You swallow thickly. "I think someone's projecting their own fears."

"Maybe."

He rubs his thumb along your inner wrist's pulse.

"Even your contempt is alluring," he murmurs. There's a breathiness to his voice that makes you shiver. "It's like you were made to punish me."

You scoff at the proposition. "Please. What would that make you, then?"

Chrollo laces his fingers with yours and gives your hand a playful squeeze.

"A budding masochist."

[theminecraftbee]

... how're you feeling?

you know what this is a kind ask thank you anon. context for those who do not have it is that hermitcraft made an official statement that there has been “complaints from the community” that were found credible about iskall. he and stress have resigned. we don’t have any other context but gauging by reactions of the other hermits this seems to be quite bad.

as for how I’m feeling: not good but I appreciate you checking in. I am not going to talk about this on this blog as a rule. I do not like working through this sort of thing publicly, and my blog has never been a place I like letting “discourse” into (for lack of a better word). I also don’t want people speculating in my direction about it because frankly that’s just going to make us all spiral much worse. when we know more we’ll know more. I will tag related posts with at least iskall’s tag for blocking.

anon most of that paragraph wasn’t directed at you though asking me how I’m feeling is very kind of you <3

[pseudophan]

Do people really want us to lose to Jesus? The guy that traumatized Dan Howell??

like?

[canisalbus]

my dad saw machete on my lockscreen and said he looks like satan with a head of a goat. just wanted you to know

Dog

Opossum

Cat

Rat

Bat

Satan

[they-call-me-ricochet]

Hockey is better than lacrosse

How dare you!

[simplydnp]

Do you ever think about Dan and Phil

who?

[curtins]

do you think toji and/or sukuna are into looksmaxxing. i need to know.

choso is probably near to tears just thinking about it - he's having a hard time adjusting to all these new trends anyways, wdym there's a whole section of it now?

i feel like gojo just flexes his "natural" looks, nanami doesn't even know he has them until someone comments on your post saying "you won/we're so back."

omg hellaurrr i really pulled out a notebook to jot these down (this isn't even a joke, my keyboard was messing with me but i was worried i'd forget to answer properly) but now i may transcribe my notes on jjk + looksmaxxing 😭 🤭 u always send me the funniest things

gojo once found a wrinkle on his forehead and cancelled class for the day. now he sleeps with a cucumber and a jade roller. when he gets drunk, he claims that a kpop idol dm'ed him for advice on clear skin, never says who though (#liar) and in high school he used a self tanner once because suguru once likened him to an overgrown, pale musty mushroom. ended up with orange streaks everywhere. does pilates but will never admit it. wishes that in another life he was an influencer just so someone would send him pr packages because its nice to get presents in a box. definitely calls himself an icon.

geto thinks essential oils are a part of looksmaxxing so he feels better on the inside. literally floats around like a walking bottle of sandalwood and lavender. tried growing facial hair because he thought it would be great to accentuate his jawline, but someone called him a discount samurai and he had to cancel the cult meeting that day. thinks looksmaxxing isn't just physical but also a state of mind, so he carries around books like crime and punishment to look smart. thought that wearing glasses would make him look smarter and had a phase where he wore fake ones and not one person complimented them.

sukuna secretly has a stash of protein powder. it goes in everything, smoothies and sprinkled over raw meat. says that he doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, but used to read old, ancient scrolls about medieval skincare. got uraume to make him a scrub from red spider lilies and wondered why his skin was burning sooo bad afterwards. sharpens his nail with blades and claims its better than just normally clipping your nails, but he always ends up scratching himself bad. has a collection of sheet masks. has the best eyebrows of all time and knows this (gets them plucked). has an anonymous #hater tiktok account where he comments rude things under gojo's posts.

nanami. you are soooo right, he probably doesn't know or give a fuck about these things because he's actually employed. but hates the idea of a ten step skincare routine for he thinks that the best routine is simple: cleanser + moisturiser + sunscreen. believes in the power of a neutral toned wardrobe with clean, tailored silhouettes. but there are photos of him out there from when he was 18 years old, with black eyeliner on his waterline. shoots down everyone's ridiculous looksmaxxing attempts. jawline exercises? just chew your food properly. botox and fillers? try eight hours of sleep before reaching for the needles. want to post a glow up journey? well, just focus on yourself and move in silence. kind of gojo's biggest opp for all this, and being so clean and put together effortlessly...

[annabelle--cane]

i mean this as a completely neutral question and am only asking you because i respect your analysis a lot. Why is tumblr so consistently fucking mean about Amelia Earhart? I don't get why she's a meme

I don't think people here are mean about her exactly, I think it's that her death is a famous mystery and one of the biggest theories is that she got eaten by crabs, a fact which amuses the crab rave website

[chris-prank]

So... does that mean Jacce wants to be treated like a bitch? But how far how u say his sadomasochism runs? Does he feel like he would cum unless he is treated like a worthless bug of would he be happy with a pleasure dom with a praise (giving & receiving) kink?

*Totally not exposing myself with this ask*

CW: NSFW, sadomasochism, bottom yandere and top reader

It all depends on the context!

If you don't like Jacce and hurt him, he won’t be excited about it. He'll just be sad and become even more desperate to make you like him. But if he knows that tormenting him, for example by spanking his ass, turns you on… oh boy will he have a hard on. The simple idea that you like seeing his face twists in painful pleasure and tears roll down his cheeks make him go crazy. Smile sadistically at him with a flushed face and he’ll cum undone.

For his personal preferences, he would rather degrade himself while you praise him. He is a filthy disgusting mutt, but he is your good filthy disgusting mutt, right? His insecurities are truly showing in that regard. So Jacce likes getting tormented physically, but only uses terms like “bad boy” if you’re really mad at him. That doesn’t mean he doesn't like a pleasure dom! He loves it just as much! Like gently caress his tummy while ramming into him, and I'll cum so hard it will end up on his face.

He just wants you to love him or at least love his body, so he’s happy with anything as long as you're interested in him.

[simp-ly-writes]

Rat Boyfriend

─────── · · A Smosh FanFic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: You hated Charles Spencer Agnew. Well... maybe hate was too strong of a word, severely dislike would be a better descriptor. But what happens when Spencer dresses up as your number one type, a rat boyfriend?

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, enemies (strong dislike) to lovers, slow burn, miscommunication but cute 💕, kinda cheesy, jealous!Spencer, rat boyfriends, attempt at humour, suggestive themes, part social-media au.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 2,677

─ · · A/N: might retire after this one fellas 😮‍💨 (no like seriously, I feel like I cooked on this one and am worried to burn others- 😬) also these screenshots I took have me in the FEELS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

─────── · ·

You hated Charles Spencer Agnew. Well... maybe hate was too strong of a word, severely dislike would be a better descriptor. It would be too childish to say that you didn't like him after your first meeting but from hearing your name in multiple snippet conversations he had with others, you stood by your thoughts.

Your first meeting stung, it was your first day in the office and you already were feeling overwhelmed. You had never worked in an environment like this but had always wanted a more casual experience than the typical 9 to 5 office jobs you had worked in the past. You did not want to ask for help, already feeling like a burden to the productions and that further didn't help when you did get the courage to ask someone closest to you, a certain Spencer Agnew that just looked your over quickly before diverting his eyes to anything or anyone else in the room without another word.

It would be another crew member that had come up to you for help a few minutes later after noticing your anxious pacing before you were being thrown onto camera and trying to understand a game as you played it for the first time... lets just say after the crying bathroom was your vacation for the next hour.

This theme of not standing to have conversations with him would continue for your first few weeks and into your first month working for Smosh as a cast member. Everyone else had warmed up to you easily, was affectionate and friendly yet Spencer always had to have someone else in the room before even speaking to you.

He always was like this you thought to yourself before becoming even more discouraged seeing how closely he interacted with your work-best-friends Courtney and Amanda and it stung- hard. So much so that you thought he just didn't like you.

You would often feel his stare when you were in conversations with other guest stars or staff members yet when you would look back over at him, he never even took a second glance nor mentioned it when you tried to sneak it into the minimal conversations you held.

And the worst part of it all? When you would bring it up at the bar outside of work to your fellow co-workers, all they could do is laugh, smile, pat you on the shoulder or order you another drink as if talking down to you not understanding something oblivious. But what could be more obvious than the answer you gathered yourself. Spencer Agnew hated you, and subsequently you hated him for not giving you a fair chance.

─────── · ·

Eventually, once you thought he realized that you were staying for good. You found a way to get into conversations with him, or at least, a form of conversation since you both were competitive as well and the cameras did well to pick up on this as you both shouted and argued with one another over arbitrary games rules to who could name the most movies with talking frogs in them (you won that debate and was still something you brought up in every argument just to watch his expression change).

You loved getting reactions out of him, seeing his eyes light up in a debate or the way he would stress, toying with his hair and glasses yet you would never admit this to anyone... not even yourself. And it would be in these moments that even when you would catch and hold his stare once realizing he was looking at you, he would keep it and his eyes would offer a hint of a smile.

These moments would happen more frequently since the infamous frog event during Bored AF, the most substantial of these during a Shayne guesses where the whole cast and crew sat in for the episode. You sat beside Courtney and Amanda like usually with Spencer sitting in front of you with Alex and Ian.

You could barley keep the smile off your face as Shayne went through everyone's celebrity crush, you laughed and even at times cried from laughing so hard up until your choices came up and you suddenly had shut up. Spencer turned around with a raised brow, his eyes curious as to why your emotions had shifted so suddenly.

You glared at him back, thinking him to be judging your choices of "rodent boyfriends" that you had been gossiping to the entire office about, even holding pictures of them up by your desk on a bulletin board. Spencer held his hands up, turning back around to watch Shayne's reaction as you did the same.

"Ah yes, someone seems to be having a hella rat-boy summer over here so that narrows it down to a few people in the office. But if I've already guessed some of the others... it would have to be (name)," Shayne explains himself with a confident smile, looking over the monitor to gauge your reaction as you offer him a deadpanned stare before shooting Courtney a wink that has her bumping your shoulder.

"And why do you think its (name)?" Alex Tran asks, directing todays video, you knew this question was for the content but you were worried about how it could be cut in the final video.

"Well, how could I not think it to be them? Spencer glares at that bulletin board of these pictures of Barry, Timothée, and Jeremy every time he goes by the (name)'s desk!" Shayne says dryly as if commenting on the weather, as if this is something everyone already knew, and that annoys you must. Yet again you are feeling all of those past emotions come flooding back on the process you made as you fall back into your seat with a huff.

"And let's see if I'm correct... Yes! Let's freakin' go!" Shayne celebrates, pumping his fist as Amanda grabs your hand. "You doing alright?" you asks warmly, head tipped closer to your own making the conversation feel more private.

"Yeah just annoyed that everyone seems to be dancing around something I don't and its really tiring like- yes I know I'm still the "new guy" around here but if its an "in-joke..." I still want to know what exactly it is even if I will not understand it," you explain and Amanda can only offer you a sigh, wrapping an arm around your chair for comfort.

"Its nothing I can explain to you since it's not my space to do so... but I think that it'll all get explained to since someone else also appears to be anxious about it," Amanda does not look you in the eyes, instead watching as Spencer's knee bounces as he sits in front of you and you none-the-wiser to him overhearing your conversation as a que for, 'enough-is-enough'.

─────── · ·

Suddenly you felt like it was your first day at Smosh and in a way it was. It would be your first time preforming in a video for the main channel, the original channel as past of their new series 'bit-city.'

You would be doing a small background role as a bodyguard in the audience, only stepping in for a scene to remove one of your cast mates off the couch but it was a large moment in your Smosh career nevertheless.

Pacing around the set as members rushed around with lights, microphones and props. You were already in your suit and glasses, all ready and kitted-up. You had yet to see Spencer or Trevor even though they were listed on the shoot for today and it was getting closer and closer to the starting time and when that time came and past.

Worry ate up your insides as you rushed over to Angela to ask where the hell everyone was after the first section got filmed and the second was nearly completed. "Hey Angela, do you have a minute, I promise it'll be quick?"

"Yeah of course, whatsup?" Angela responds, taking a sip from her sticker-covered water bottle while offering you a reassuring smile.

"Where's Spencer and Trevor? I saw them on the document but haven't seem them all day, did something happen?" you do your best to level your concern, not wanting to stress her out before you all both have to get back to work.

Angela waved a hand in your face, offering you part of her snack that you graciously took, "Yeah they are off into studio C filming a side-bit for this production. Only here in the morning before continuing on a project for the Games channel, something to do with truck driving? I'm not too sure honestly..." Angela trails off, getting distracted by an email on her phone. "Thanks for letting me know," you smile as she throws you one back before returning to your positions.

─────── · ·

You never usually watch the videos your in, a rule to not embarrass yourself over something you said or did for the bit yet as you quickly skip through the video (as to not traumatize yourself) the audio catching you off guard and you force yourself to pause before hitting replay.

"Tired of straight guys ruining your dating pool? Introducing Straight OS 2025 in three new models. The rat boyfriend..." and the gasp you emitted within the comfort of your own apartment watching as Spencer was spun around 360 degrees in an outfit you swore to only have pinned to your infamous bulletin board.

"No. fucking. way." you whisper-shouted to yourself before letting the video continue. A guitar. A cigarette. And that stupid. fucking. beanie. You were going to- really you did not know what you were going to do the next time you saw him the office. Torn between wrapping your hands around his neck and strangling the man for good or doing that while pulling him in for a kiss...

You shake your head, confused as to where all these thoughts are suddenly coming from as you play the clips on repeat. The ways his rings climb up the neck of the guitar, the way he fixes his hair and tips his cigarette. You hate how suddenly hot the room feels as you rush for a cold shower that does little to calm your thoughts, feelings, or shame flooding your system and before you knew it, it was time to drive back to the office and lucky you... Spencer was directed the next Games video you would be starring in.

─────── · ·

It was harder than you thought not to stare at him and suddenly the roles were revered. You looked away every time he looked over, pretending as if nothing happened.

You did your best to mention your opinions on the recent video while you thought no one else to be looking or listening while lunch break was going on and even when inevitably you and Spencer had to speak, it was you who refused to make eye contact before he said something purposely outlandish just to catch your attention.

"I think I should start wearing this hat more if it gets you this worked up, will make it easy to win this time around," Spencer comments, knowing that you will have not heard a word he had said, and he would stand to be correct.

"Sorry, Spence-er, um what did you say?" you ask for clarification, a brow raised as he brightly smiles, head tilted every so slightly. "I just said that I am determined to win today."

"oh, I didn't know you were playing today?"

"Oh. I was always going to play."

"Okay then..."

─────── · ·

You struggle to get through the video and swear that Spencer knew he was dong something by the grin that fails to be swept off his face no matter how many insults or wins you gain only for him to loose yet he acts as though he has won only making your anger spike.

You storm off set in a whirlwind of emotions, no man you had ever dated has made you this much of a mess and had played with your emotions so well, it was extremely off-putting as you stomped your way to the parking lot before being stopped by the door.

"Hey (name)! wait!" Spencer jogged to keep up with you, failing to pause as you continued your steps towards your car- determined. "Wait, hey!"

"What. Spencer. Whatever could you want?" you question, quickly turning around, baring your teeth as you grip your car keys just about ready to quit and pull out all your hair already.

"Are you doing okay?" Spencer asks with utmost concern, while panting and hanging over his knees, he looks up, sweat dripping from his forehead and curls- your finger twitches yet you hold up your resolve.

"Am I doing okay? What sorta question is that, Spencer? Am I doing okay? Why would you even care to know? You have never in the past. fuck can't even make eye-contact with me, what the hell is your issue man? Because from what I've heard from everyone, its not me so its certainly something to do with you!" you argue as Spencer takes a step back, hands held up once more.

"Yes. It's me, I know I fucked up about doing this the right way. Fuck Spencer, he's a bitch, the absolute worst, yes. I know that. But I also know, even though this is the worst possible moment to say this-"

"To say what Spencer? Look I want to-"

"I love you.... okay? I fucking love you and was too scared to tell you it before. I have loved you since the day you walked into the office and since you could name more talking frogs in cinema than me."

You are left in silence, not even noticing as Spencer picks up the keys that have dropped from your hand as he presses them back into your palm. Holding your touch, intertwining your fingers for a brief moment before pulling away.

You can feel the sparks, the heat of his skin against yours in this California heat as you can feel the gravity of his words circling around your head, the answers you had looked so hard for stumbling into your lap just when you were looking to be done with it all.

"I-I can't- I don't believe you," is all you can say, eyes wide as he fixes his glasses, his cheeks red hot as he reaches out before letting his arm fall, deciding not. You can feel the way your heart drops, already expecting the spark of his touch once more.

"Then let me show you, please. I only ask for this one chance to show you and if you realize this isn't for you I will ask nothing of you because of it," Spencer pleads, you could see his knees ready to give out and beg.

You hold your hands out, not wanting to create a further scene than you already both probably have. "Spencer I-"

"Please, (name). Just this once and I promise to explain everything- it all."

"Fine."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)_(last/name) just posted to instagram!

─────── · ·

Liked by spennser, co_mill, bffs_username and others

(name)_(last/name) me + 🐀 = 💞

View all 7,342 comments

spennser I'm burning that fucking bulletin board

↳ (name)_(last/name) ummm sir? this is a wendys? ↳ spennser I'm being serious! ↳ (name)_(last/name) besties help-! ↳ co_mill don't worry bestie ❤️ I already have it saved for your wedding ↳ (name)_(last/name) I hate you all ↳ spennser I love you too 💞 ↳ (name)_(last/name) 😳 fuck off, all of you /kindly

ianhecox psst! what the fuck do these emoji's mean???

shayne_topp so unbelievably happy for you both!

username01 RAHHHH!!! what is life???

anthonypadilla I feel like I missed twenty episodes or somethin'

username24 I. am. living. for ianthony's combined confusion 🤣

trevorevarts Can you both get back to hating one another? its a bit too cute in here 🤢 /with love

olivia_sui so happy for you both!!

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: no pt.2's to this one!

[theminecraftbee]

Is "flesh eating snails: beware" a warning about the snails or for the snails?

it is up to reader interpretation, as all good warning labels should be.

[pseudophan]

what are you going to say when you give them the phookbook like “hey we think you need to cook more 👍🏻”

figured i'd just walk up to them and say this is an intervention

[canisalbus]

Timeline did a thing

I'm not exactly sure how to translate it, but in english it's "A fine thing, you can eat it without being hungry" as in "it's something light and pleasant [to eat]"

.

[dannymans66]

quick question do you know if the germa 66 siblings can bleed

They've bled a few times in the anime and manga

And Reiju was bleeding when pudding shot her leg.

So yes, they CAN bleed, it's just hard to make them do it because of how tough their skin is.

[simplydnp]

I always knew they were babe people

we've known this for years thanks to the radio show but 2024 is the year of dan and phil confirming shit and i will happily continue to collapse on the floor after every single reveal