#+ plus there is no other creature that ambrose would like to be killed by more <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[express-archives]

HELP i just checked what ambrosia means and—

APHE YOU BASTARD WHEN I GET YOU /silly

wdym? i have no idea what you're on about, silly. there is nothing bastardly about me. i am wonderful and amazing and my intentions are always good! i have no idea what you mean. 🤭

[bleakfated]

ways to tie your muses to some of mine apart from the obvious, hunters met on a case type thing... but I would always be down for any of my hunters having saved muses that know nothing about the supernatural from a threat and rocking their world

Alex Mills --

Vampires or humans tied to her past being exploited by the vampires in the nest that kidnapped her.

Her first gf that she got close with when she first moved in with Jody? They skipped class and smoked weed under the bleachers but she had to move away from Sioux Falls leaving Alex pretty open to be easily manipulated by "Henry"

Nursing colleagues !!

Alyssa Moore --

FBI agents that have had the displeasure of dealing with her or hunters that's she has tracked down to get her hands on the truth about what the Winchesters did to her sister

Friends from San Francisco where she grew up, that watched how much her sister's death hardened her

College friends from Stanford about three years after Jess dies, plus seven more for her undergrad and law school

Bela Talbot --

Demon friends demon friends demon friends she's a demon get it

Hunters and other humans /monsters alike that she screwed over in her past finding out her identity

She's back to her old ways of thievery with a bit more bloodshed to live more lavishly, a home isn't necessary for a demon but even hell couldn't beat her love of luxury out of her. She could be in contact with your muse for objects, selling an object, or bogus psychic readings

Cameron Ambrose --

The Crossroads needs more bartenders or cooks!! And regulars!!

I would love to have more connections that knew him from his childhood or were potential foster siblings before he went to prison for protecting Marlowe Crawford. Maybe even other siblings that were in the home with them.

Cassie Robinson --

A big time journalist in Chicago. I would die for Ennis Ross because I headcanon that he saved her from a vampire which prompted her to start her blog journaling true information about how to kill monsters

Annoyed monsters finding out she runs the blog and trying to get her to take it down?? Beautiful

Hunters finding her blog and tracking her down thinking she's a useful ally to have and she's like lol I don't hunt but they remain friendly and she's a contact when they run into a monster not yet published about yet

Charlotte Perrin --

I would sell my soul for someone to be one of her hunter "kids". These are young people she has met or saved on the job that have had everything taken from her by the Supernatural much like herself. It includes those that continue to hunt and those that she gives money and a new identity to start a normal life over in a new town -- she checks on them frequently as well.

Humans that remember her as the girl that was never seen again after her parent's deaths

Linda Martin --

Since she's going to be a therapist for hunters and the supernatural she probably needs a few bodyguards lol

Madeline Cardelle --

Obviously the witches that she trusts enough to employ at her store

Regular customers at her shop, unknowing humans, hunters, witches or otherwise

Hunters that see past her being a witch because she mostly uses it for her business and hasn't killed in a very long time. She's not catty in that way.

Other witches that escaped the BMOL around the time that she did or after

Hunters that she gets close enough to that she uses her powers for good when not being threatened like she had been with the Carmichaels

Miles Asher --

I just think people that knew him at MIT getting involved in the supernatural in any way enough to meet him again at the Roadhouse is super interesting

Natalia Sinclair --

Any supernatural creature that has spent time in Chicago being friends with her, she's less likely to have disdain for the other species than the rest of the family

Befriended humans or perhaps someone she starts to become smitten for again despite her best judgment. Perhaps close enough that she feels safe in telling her secret

Someone to convince her she's strong enough to leave her family behind and live a life she's proud of. That she doesn't have to watch humans kill themselves over her

Paxton Whitmore --

Werewolves that he's helped either gain control over their wolf or at least tie themselves down good enough on full moons

Teddy Bristol --

The Crossroads needs more bartenders or cooks!! And regulars!!

People that know his remaining family and believe him to be responsible for his parents deaths

In search of someone a woman hunter that broke his heart, will need to be heavily plotted and someone I've written with for a bit. More info here

Tyson Brady --

Demon: Who was he palling around with between Azazel's death and being the stableboy of the horsemen?? We need to know.

Demon: Who's he friends with in an AU where he's not caught by the Winchesters??

Human: Stanford friendos. High School rich boy/girl friendos. People on the baseball team with him in either setting??

Human: People he meets when he's a resurrected wreck, plagued by nightmares of Jess dying at his hands and the pain in all of his friends faces so many times over. How could they not see he wasn't himself??

[poketnife69]

Yooo, if you're still taking requests, can i aks for a headcanon with Vincent, Brahms, Hannibal and Thomas, where their fem S/O is like Morticia Addams, a lil sadistic, independent, gothic woman who obviously emanates Girlboss energy!

Thanks for your attention and....drink water!!!!

Slashers x fem!reader who's like Morticia Addams

Vincent Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire, Hannibal Lecter and Thomas Hewitt

WARNINGS : Mentions of murder(?), mentions of turning people into wax firgures.

NOTE : Sorry if this doesn't seem good, my brain couldn't function properly due to the lack of sleep I'm getting 💀 so I'm gonna make a new rule which is that I will not be making fanfics or taking requests during the weekends, so that I can freshen up a bit and get some rest.

Also, I MIGHT add the grabber to my list of characters and make fanfics for male readers as well, who knows?

------------------------------------

Vincent Sinclair

- Vincent didn't know if it was love at first sight, but all he knew is that the moment he walked into the house of wax and had this dark aura he somehow stopped breathing.

- The only thing that was on his mind was how beautiful you were.

- He tries to convince Bo not to kill you

- You and Lester get along so well, whenever he would stop by and visit Ambrose he would show you some of the raindeers and other animals he's killed

- He might have given you a raindeers head as a gift of appreciation too

- Though when it comes to Bo, you two aren't really on the best of terms, only because he doesn't trust you and that you intimidate him a lot. But despite being an ass to you he does see how happy you make vincent.

- Not like he'd admit it

- Whenever some unlucky tourists come by in the empty town of Ambrose they would often comment on your style choice.

- Of course, Vincent wouldn't have allowed this but when you spoke back at that person, he couldve sworn that they almost pissed their pants. He thinks your a badass and hot

- He still kills them afterward, but instead of making them into wax, he gives them to Lester so that he could dump their bodies in the road pit. He thinks their undeserving of becoming one of their wax sculptures.

- You would often hang with Vincent down in the basement admiring him from afar while he turns his victims into wax sculptures

- He would paint something very dark or sculpt a small wax creature and give them to you

Brahms Heelshire

- The Heelshires had hired you to become a doll's nanny, now if it were anyone they would have freaked out and autopilot to the front door of their mansion.

- But not you though, you didn't see any reason to be creeped out by it. In fact, you were delighted to watch over the porcelain doll.

- Brahms had been watching you through the walls the entire time, and he instantly went head over heels for you.

- Eventually, he showed himself to you while you were reading a book to the doll. He was quite surprised when you patted the space next to you telling him to sit right beside you, like all the other nannies he expected you to fear him, and feel disgusted just by the mere look of him.

- But you welcomed him with open arms.

- But be warned, he's gonna be VERY clingy to the point where you can't get any space or alone time. Not like you had any privacy from the start

- Plus we all know the man reaks, and he's gonna demand cuddles.

- Please dress him up in something dark and gothic! He just loves your unique style so much that he wants to dress up just like you ( maybe even impress you 😏 )

- He honestly thinks you're so pretty! He also admired how independent you are, he knows that you can't depend on him most of the time, especially in his state ( him being a full-grown man and having the mind of a child due to him being kept in the walls by his parents for so long )

Hannibal Lecter

- Let's just pretend that you met Hannibal at a grocery store-

- You seemed to catch his attention very easily, a woman in all dark and gothic style, and looks that could kill, in the middle of a cereal aisle was one of the highlights of his day.

- Everyone else seems to be avoiding you as if you were some sort of different entity, it was sort of amusing yet quite rude of people for thinking you differently. Hannibal approached you and introduced himself to you.

- After a little bit of chit chat he asked if you could join him for dinner, which was weird because you both had just met each other, but then again that was the purpose of having dinner.. To get to know each other better.

- You arrived a few minutes earlier which pleased him, he guided you to the dining room and pushed your chair for you. He enjoyed your company as well as conversing with you, eventually, you two finished your meals.

- And if your gonna ask if he fed you human meat that's for you to decide-🗿

- You didn't know how it happened but things sort of got... heated, which led you to wake up with him next to you. It's safe to say that after the whole encounter he would invite you for dinner every day and eventually you two ended up together.

- Now when you two are already in a relationship expect to receive a TON of gifts from this man.

- Like cmon he's rich what else did you expect, gift giving is probably his love language too.

- He'd buy the finest clothing that matches your style, some old and dark antique that would fit the vibe at your home, maybe even bring you to an opera that you like.

- Now when it comes to his 'habits' he won't let you know nor does he plan to, but if you do find out and join him in his activities then he'd just be over the moon.

- He is going to protect you with all his life no matter the cause, yes he knows you are independent and capable of managing yourself but honey please let him care for you- ❤️

- Overall it's a 10/10 when it comes to Hannibal

Thomas Hewitt

- The first time he met you was at Luda Mae's shop

- He found you... Quite odd... But not in a rude way!

- It's just the fact that you're wearing so much black under this heat it concerns him.

- Though that didn't stop him from falling for you. And in the end, you two ended up together.

- At first, he was against the idea of you being in the basement, he didn't want you to witness all the things Thomas does to their victims thinking that it'll drive you further away from him.

- But you somehow find enjoyment in it-??

- He just lets you watch from the sidelines instead, you smile the entire time as one of the victims started crying and screaming.

- He's so shy and nervous around you! Even when you're both already a thing he still finds it hard to be affectionate with you! You tease him about it making him blush even more.

- But oh boy... If anyone dared to insult you..

- This man had lived his whole life being judged by others because of his looks, but if anyone peeped a word that may seem disrespectful, or spared a judgment look your way?..

- Let's just say that dinner will be served a little earlier.

- Though he wouldn't have any problem with that, you seem to manage the situation very well judging by the way people looked away whenever you'd pass by.

- No one would dare mess with you

- They all knew that including Hoyt, and that's what Thomas likes.

--------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST :

[greatfay]

Sabrina

Ohhhhh boy.

my all-time ultimate fave character:

Ambrose Spellman. First of all who are his parents? How is he Sabrina’s cousin? Whatever. This man is so beautiful right like all the time, or 90% of the time, idk why the other characters don’t just record his voice and play it back whenever they have a dumbass moment, a sort of audio “What Would Ambrose Do” recorder because every single time, Ambrose ends up being riiiiight. And there’s still so much about him that’s gone unexplored imo. The Vatican plot, the group he was a part of, him grieving his boyfriend from season 2?? Just saying, considering the character of Salem was split into the not-talking Cat and Ambrose, he really should be more intertwined into the plot.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:

Prudence. She also grew on me, though there’s some issues with this show’s writing and I think it comes from Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa trying to be Ryan Murphy in the worst way possible. Yes you can quote me on this, don’t @ me, argue with your mama. Prudence and her Weird Sisters are basically the Unholy Trinity of CAOS, except that unlike Brittany and Santana, Agatha and Dorcas never get real character development, and Prudence’s cold outer shell slowly melts only to pop back up unexpectedly and cruelly, so it’s like I like her! But then she’ll say/do things in random moments that makes it hard to like her because The Writing. Liiiike her blaming Ambrose at the end of Part 3 for that thing that happened. Also casting a person of color to play a fictitious fantasy race that calls other races “half-breeds” is never cool lmao, I’ve noticed this is a trend in fantasy, basically take your character who’s supposed to be a race supremacist and cast a black person to be them and suddenly it’s not as bad—it’s worse. And anyway I’d take a whole spin-off miniseries of Ambrose and Prudence with her TWO FUCKING SWORDS prancing across the Scottish countryside and down New Orleans streets on a quest. Geralt is shaking.

a character I used to like but now don’t:

Nick. I love a bad boy. I love a bad boy with layers. Everything about his character was supposed to be a tempting fruit to convince Sabrina to sign her name in the book, and for the most part it works!!! So the Dark Lord might ask you to sacrifice a baby here and there, you get to have magic! And do sex magic with Gavin Leatherwood. And I had very different expectations for where his arc would go in Part 3. Sulking was not a good look for him. Jealousy was also not a good look for him. And the foot thing was gross af. I don’t see how his character can remain relevant moving forward if he’s not even Sabrina’s friend, let alone her boyfriend.

a character I’m indifferent about:

Sabrina. At first, I liked her characterization because as much as I’m a sucker for magic, it would be hard to just ghost all your friends. Especially if you have real friends, people who would be there for you, people you know are vulnerable and want to protect. I liked Sabrina as this half-in/half-out girl who wants both worlds and does the right thing. I also don’t mind a hero who does shady shit to save the day because I’m all about that moral complexity. But now she’s a bit annoying, like pull out your moral compass and pick a point! So I feel nothing toward her. My positive and negative feelings cancel out.

a character who deserved better:

Lilith. She should’ve been Queen of Hell. That whole plot point should’ve been stretched out WAY longer, especially the “they’re praying to ME” scene. BUT. I’ll say this. As much as I would’ve liked a whole Queen Lilith/Church of Lilith thing, miss thang didn’t really market herself at all. Lucifer knew exactly how to get these people eating out of his hands, and Lilith does… nothing! When they prayed to her for the first time, she should’ve made all the statues cry milk, butterflies sing with the voices of the dead, and a rainbow appear in the sky. It’s about the Drama, she could’ve a whole following but spent the whole season being Sabrina’s Unholy Godmother. Which of course, is due to the Writing. I’m just surprised she never betrayed Sabrina, and also her getting stuck with her abuser again is disgusting.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Sabrina/Harvey. They’re portrayed as endgame in the beginning but I knew he’d always be the thing holding her back from Plot Stuff, so he had to go; plus he never had a positive experience with magic and was never going to be onboard. Next is, surprisingly, Ambrose/Prudence. I really like the Sherlock/Watson thing they have going on, but Ambrose is just so nice and Prudence so blunt that they only have chemistry when they’re fucking, and tbh my “ships” are actual relationships, not fuckingships, there has to be shared emotional baggage and communication, which they didn’t have. Ya know what… Sabrina x Prudence. Now there’s a couple I would root for.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Sabrina/Nick because it was the sneeze that never happened. Feels like I didn’t even see it onscreen. Next is Tommy/Life because he shouldn’t have died, and my OTP is Faustus/Jail because he’s a fucking creep.

a cute, low-key ship:

Theo/Robin. Listen… not only are they cute as heck individually, but together it’s too powerful. And it’s such a big deal that a trans masculine main character can be the object of someone’s affections that were so strong that the character in question betrays their own family, a group of mythical creatures and gods, to do the right thing and protect him. Runner-up is Zelda/

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

I don’t think I have one  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

Zelda/Faustus. Literally I vomit, I euuuughhh, euuuuughhh 🤢 listen I am not a woman, I don’t think I believe in incarnations? But watching their interactions triggered like… flashbacks in me as if I was a suburban housewife in the year 1958 and my husband will be home in 5 minutes and the “shrimp jello salad” I was supposed to have ready for him is a complete disaster and he’s going to beat me. I got Game of Thrones flashbacks watching their interactions.

my favourite storyline/moment:

When I actually thought Sabrina killed one of the Weird Sisters was a great moment for me personally, also liked the flashbacks of Lilith in the dawn of Earth, also loved Ambrose and Prudence’s adventures across the world.

a storyline that never should have been written:

That whole nightmare hallucination where Theo (before he changed his pronouns and name) woke up in a “boy’s body” was so intimately disgusting and terrible and problematic, it almost completely undoes every good thing about Theo’s storylines and the representation.

Harvey getting accepted to some artsy private school only to be haunted by nightmares of the Dark Lord??? Where did that go again? I forgot.

my first thoughts on the show:

Dark, creepy, stylish. I like it.

my thoughts now:

Messier, sometimes frustrating, still dark, still stylish. I like it? 

Ask me about a tv show/movie series/book series!

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Whistle Down the Wind

by Dan H

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Dan on The Name of the Wind, with reference to Superman, Macgyver and Roger Rabbit.~

While I was reading The Name of the Wind (which is called The Name of the Wind, and not In the Name of the Wind, despite the fact that I keep on being tempted to call it that) I stopped every thirty seven seconds to inform my girlfriend that I just didn't know what to make of it. I've finished it now, and I still don't know what to make of it.

So you should have a pretty good idea of what to expect from this review. Plus, y'know, spoilers.

A comedian, I think it was either Phil Jupitus or Bill Bailey (one of the Never Mind the Buzzcocksteam captains anyway) once observed that he had loved Captain Scarlet as a kid, but had always found himself with the same old problem. Captain Scarlet would get into trouble and he'd think "oh no, how's he going to get out of this?" Then he'd realize "oh yeah, he's indestructible." Yes, it was a joke. Yes, Phil or Bill or whoever it was, was mostly just trying to get a laugh, and yes in fact the way you deal with that sort of problem is by having Other Things at Stake but it does highlight a serious underlying problem.

The Name of the Wind is a peculiar book (which is part of why it's causing such a stir at the moment). It is primarily told in the first person, but unusually for a book with first-person narration, the narration is actually contextualized. The book begins with a simple village inn in a simple, grimy fantasy world. The text draws our attention to the barman, a man named "Kote". Although he seems no more than a simple innkeeper, we know there's more to him than that - he has red hair for a start, and under Article Five of the Fantasy Literature Act of 1972 it is illegal to have a redhead in a fantasy novel who isn't Totally Special (Ron Weasley slipped through the net due to the Sidekick Exemption Clause).

The town has the usual small-town worries: bad roads, a hard winter, attacks by demonic creatures, that sort of thing. The demonic creatures (who aren't really demons, they're creatures called "skraelings") have already jumped one villager, who escaped more by good luck than good judgment, and there's probably more coming. Simple Innkeeper Kote heads out into the woods in the dead of night and slaughters them in single combat, and this prompts a meeting with a travelling Chronicler called Chronicler, who has come to the sleepy village looking for a legendary hero called Kvothe who, surprise surprise, turns out to be one and the same as our mild mannered flame-haired barkeep.

It's here that the story switches to first-person narration, where it stays for the rest of the book. Kvothe arranges to dictate his entire life story to the Chronicler over the course of three days (which, it seems likely, will correspond to three books). In the course of this negotiation we establish several very important things about the book. Firstly, that it's going to be Kvothe's story as narrated by Kvothe. Secondly, that the Chronicler is a renowned debunker whose great passion is seeking out the truth behind legends (this will become A Theme). Thirdly, and most importantly, we learn that Kvothe is totally awesome at everything. We witness Kvothe cracking the shorthand-like cipher in which the Chronicler writes his notes with a speed and efficiency that makes the Universal Translator look plausible, and we learn a little of his dazzling exploits:

I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity ad my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age that most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.

Now as the book progresses, we learn that at least some of these claims are not all they seem - Kvothe doesn't so much burn down Trebon as happen to be nearby while it gets burned down by a third party. He gets expelled from the university, but his expulsion is suspended as a matter of course. This is part of the second point established above: the book is basically all about the boundaries between myth and reality, men and legends. Regardless of all that though, the fact remains that Kvothe is totally awesome at everything, and that lies at the heart of my problems with the book.

I should say now, in case it gets lost in all the nitpicking, carping, and pettifogging, that The Name of the Wind is genuinely good and highly readable. It's one of those fantasy books which you can compare to serious literature without sounding totally risible. It deals intelligently with its themes and ideas, its characters are fairly well realized, and it's obviously going somewhere quite interesting.

None of that, however, gets me past the Captain Scarlet problem. "Oh no! how is Kvothe going to get out of this? Oh yeah, he's totally awesome at everything."

Long time Ferretbrainers, or people who know me in real life, will probably be aware that I have a George Silver-like fondness for identifying paradoxes: contradictions which it amuses me to highlight and declare irreconcilable. Kvothe is the perfect example of something I might glibly call the "Macgyver Paradox".

It is widely accepted that a hero who merely has unlimited power isn't interesting to write or read about. There's a reason that Lord of the Rings focuses on Frodo instead of Gandalf, or that Feist no longer writes books about Milamber. If a character can just wave a magic wand and make all his problems go away, he can't face any meaningful obstacles, and if he can't face any meaningful obstacles, he can't have any meaningful development as a character. Unfortunately, people assume that this very sensible, very important rule only applies to supernatural sources of power. Worse, they tend to assume that the best way to avoid relying on supernatural sources of power is to make their character "resourceful".

Of course, there's a giant problem with "resourceful" characters, which is that they wind up being exactly like the all powerful characters only worse. Sure, Superman can force majeure his way out of most situations, but it's relatively easy to think of situations where it would not be helpful or desirable for him to rely on his superpowers. It is much, much harder to think of a problem where it isn't helpful or desirable to "come up with a really clever plan". By trying to create a hero who relies on ingenuity instead of superpowers, all you do is turn ingenuity into a superpower. If Macgyver and Superman were both trapped in a sealed room that was slowly filling up with gas, it's Superman who would be in the most trouble. Sure he could bust his way out, but that might detonate the gas and kill a bunch of innocent people. Macgyver on the other hand can just use the gas to jury-rig a blowtorch, thereby getting himself out of the room and taking care of the explosives in one fell swoop. There's a reason that Batman beats Superman in The Dark Knight Returns: power is always finite, but "resourcefulness" is unlimited.

I suppose I should explain what all this has to do with The Name of the Wind. Basically the book concerns itself with Kvothe's origin story. He is raised as a wandering player, amongst the "Emera Ruh," a race of travelling performers who I won't describe as "Gypsy-like" since I know bugger all about Romany culture. It's no big spoiler to tell you that his idyllic childhood is cut short when his troupe is slaughtered by a group of quasi-mythical demonic entities called the Chandrian (the name seems to be plural). After this he lives wild in the woods for almost a year until he finally breaks two strings on his lute and heads off to the big city to get some more. Here he gets mugged and beaten up in short order (losing his lute in the process), and spends the next three years as a beggar living a horrible, Dickensian hand-to-mouth existence.

So far, so good, except that this goes on for nearly a third of the book, with very little real progress being made, and then suddenly he encounters a storyteller and then apparently "his mind wakes up" and he bluffs his way off of the streets and into comparative wealth and comfort, literally overnight (he pawns a book he's been holding onto for sentimental reasons, and then gets a bunch of free clothes by impersonating a nobleman). If it sounds jarring, it is. It's like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit: "You mean you could have done that at any time?" "Not at any time, only when it was funny."

This pattern continues throughout the rest of the book. Kvothe gets into a bad situation, and then he gets out of it by being totally awesome at everything. Then fate (or his enemies or, dare I say it, the necessity of the plot) gets him into another bad situation, and he gets out of it by being totally awesome at everything. Even that I could almost forgive, except that everything follows the same awkward, jarring pattern as his years as a beggar: helpless ... helpless ... helpless ... totally awesome at everything ... helpless ... helpless.

After he stops being a beggar, Kvothe manages to persuade the University not only to let him in, but also to pay him for the privilege. Here he picks up the obligatory High School Enemy, an obscenely wealthy, obscenely influential nobleman by the name of Ambrose. Perhaps I'd have been more sympathetic towards this plotline if it hadn't been done in ... well ... every single boarding school based story ever. It's got to the stage where I can't even distinguish between the descriptions of Ambrose, that dude from the Black Magician Trilogy, and Draco Malfoy any more (I think they're all blonde, but they all run together in my head). Like all Boarding School Rivals, he's somehow powerful enough to totally wreck Kvothe's life, yet also clearly totally inferior to him in every way.

For example, as part of his continuing struggle to stave off starvation, Kvothe takes to playing his lute at a highly prestigious local music venue. Not only does he wow the audience by playing the single most difficult song in the world ever, but when Ambrose tries to sabotage him by magically cutting one of his lute strings, he completes the song anyway, thereby making people even more impressed at how totally awesome at everything he is. However, his plan to use this event as a springboard to find a noble patron is thwarted because Ambrose tells all the nobles not to support him.

Okay, fine, Ambrose is rich and powerful, but are you honestly telling me that his family has no enemies whatsoever? That there isn't one nobleman in the whole damn city who don't think that ticking off some uppity brat is a fair price to pay for being able to get one of the greatest musicians who ever lived playing at your banquets? (Seriously, when Kvothe plays his lute, people practically ejaculate into their pants he's that good). Is there nobody out there in the cutthroat world of noble politicking who would actually relish the opportunity to piss off Ambrose's family, with an orgasm-inducingly awesome pet musician as an added bonus?

Like with

my review

of the Age of the Five trilogy, I've had to take a step back from what I've just said to think to myself "god, when you write it all down like that it just looks absurd". Kvothe is a musical genius with an eidetic memory, precocious magical talent, wisdom beyond his years (the book constantly tells us how totally young he is " the broken down world weary version we see in the inn is only twenty-five), limitless courage, and infinite resourcefulness who only suffers setbacks at all because the rest of the world goes out of its way to screw him over. Hell, he's supposed to be so cool that he's literally reciting the entire damned novel from memory. The fact that this kind of thing works at all and is in fact quite entertaining to read about is testimony to the genuine merits the book possesses.

When all is said and done, The Name of the Wind is a genuinely engaging, genuinely interesting Fantasy novel. I genuinely enjoyed it and would genuinely recommend it but, as you might have gathered from the fact that I wound up using the word "genuinely" four times in the last sentence, I'm still hugely confused about it (genuinely confused, in fact). I really, really hope that the "Kingkiller Chronicles" (the name of the series, in case I didn't mention) will turn out to be the classic everybody is predicting. I really hope that Kvothe's ludicrously expanding skillset won't start to become annoying and implausible (or rather, more implausible). I really hope that we'll actually find out something about the goddamned Chandrian in the next book. I kind of hope that it will turn out that Kvothe has been totally lying about a lot of this stuff, but I don't think that will happen.

The Name of the Wind (no "In", remember) is an entirely readable, quite well-written book that raises some interesting questions about the boundaries between history and legend, reality and myth. Its protagonist is remarkably likable given that he's a colossal Genioos. The plot is remarkably engaging given that nothing much happens. I'll certainly be picking up the next volume in the hope that I might be able to make some goddamned sense of it all.Themes:

Books

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

~

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Rami

at 14:30 on 2008-07-23I'm glad you liked it! Kvothe's total awesomeness made even me, gushy and enthusiastic as I

tend to be, think twice

-- but I really can't wait for the next one... in

a few months' time

, anyway...

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Michal

at 07:44 on 2011-07-02Hmm, I've avoided this book so far for the somewhat silly reason that one of the interior cover blurbs is from Robert J. Sawyer...I've found a strange correlation between "books I dislike" and "has blurb by Robert J. Sawyer", but I really should just give it a shot.

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Dan H

at 12:03 on 2011-07-02I wasn't sure who Robert J. Sawyer was, so I looked him up on Wikipedia and:

a) Wow, he *really* looks like Steven Merchant

b) OMG! He's the guy who wrote that book Kyra's got on her to-read pile about the blind girl who has experimental surgery which allows her to SEE THE INTERNETS!

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Michal

at 16:44 on 2011-07-02

He also nearly ruined my childhood.

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Alasdair Czyrnyj

at 01:12 on 2011-07-03Sawyer also tends to push the "science vs. religion" pretty hard in science/rationalism/whatever's favor in most everything he writes, but he doesn't really understand religion enough to criticize it effectively, so it just comes off as a strawman-fest.

Wow, he *really* looks like Steven Merchant

Really? I thought he was tubbier than Stephen Merchant.

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Vermisvere

at 03:24 on 2011-07-03

Sawyer also tends to push the "science vs. religion" pretty hard in science/rationalism/whatever's favor in most everything he writes

I'd probably be best off avoiding it then. I found that a lot of the books that I read which have the "science vs. religion" concept in them tend to, at one point or another, grind to a painful halt in terms of plot and turn into a mish-mash fest of mental wanking where the characters turn into your average 6th graders debating theology.

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown is a good example. *shudder*

Wow, he *really* looks like Steven Merchant

Hey, he does too!

Well, whadya know...

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Michal

at 04:15 on 2012-01-20Well, I finally gave it a go. Got about 70-some pages in before I gave up.

I think it was the bit where Kvothe deciphers the Chronicler's super-duper-complicated shorthand system in a matter of minutes that had me let out my first gigantic groan. But on a less superficial level, it was just pretty clear that the book was Not For Me.

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Dan H

at 10:14 on 2012-01-20I think that's a fair assessment. This is one of those books where people will tell you to stick with it because it gets better, when in reality it just gets more like itself, which means people who like it start to like it more, while people who don't like it get more and more irritated.

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Dan H

at 20:18 on 2012-01-20Double-posting like a noob, it occurs to me that the bit where he deciphers the Chronicler's shorthand system is a particularly sensible breaking point, because it's not amenable to all of the "unreliable narrator" arguments that apply to most of the rest of Kvothe's Mary Sue qualities. He might be lying about everything else, but he can't be lying about that.

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Michal

at 05:14 on 2012-01-21Well, I did feel particularly sensible at that moment. The framing narrative, at least from my meagre experience of the book, seems to serve more to affirm Kvothe's awesomeness rather than subvert it (he, like, kills demon spiders and knows magic and is super-smart and stuff!).

Are there any inconsistencies in Kvothe's narrative in this book or the next one? Because his voice, when telling this story, is essentially the same as that in the frame, but with an "I" swapped in for the "he". The guy recalls long inconsequential conversations his parents had when he was young in a way that doesn't suggest he's just embellishing and making shit up on the fly. And yes, this is typical of first-person narratives, but I've only really seen bad historical fiction framed in such fashion (

Aztec

comes to mind), and in those cases, we're meant to trust the tale-teller's perfect recall.

I have a feeling I've been spoiled in thast few books I've read that used the first person, and was just disoriented by the fact that no, I

didn't

need to pay close attention and peel back the narrative voice to find out what was really going on. No "wait, the towers are space ships?" moments in

The Name of the Wind

.

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Dan H

at 21:15 on 2012-01-21

Are there any inconsistencies in Kvothe's narrative in this book or the next one? Because his voice, when telling this story, is essentially the same as that in the frame, but with an "I" swapped in for the "he".

There aren't any inconsistencies I can recall (although I might be missing something super-duper subtle). And you're right that there's no meaningful difference between the third-person narration and Kvothe's narration. As with most framing devices, Rothfuss only really pays lip-service to the notion that Kvothe is supposed to be reciting this story from memory.

[kingdomofzythania]

Session 2 (Part 1)

17, 2018:

1. Bar Brawl Continues!:

● To recap, one skeleton has been defeated. Three more remain. Elaria has very low

health. Let the game begin!

○ Continuation of Round 1:

■ K turn: Koe attacks Skeleton 1. Attack hits.

○ Round 2:

■ S turn: Sirena tries to heal Elaria. Bad roll, instead of healing, Sirena

takes .5 health from Elaria (now down to 4.5 health, help!!!)

■ E turn: Elaria decides that if she’s low on health, she should not be in the

line of fire. She backflips behind the bar to hide.

■ D turn: Doryu takes some of his fish rations out of his bag and throws it

over to Elaria.

■ Tw turn: Draws sword to attack Skeleton 3. Attack misses.

● Skeleton 3 knicks Twang’s cheek. Twang takes 1 damage. ■ K turn: Koe attacks skeleton 1 again and kills it.

○ Round 3:

■ S turn: Sirena creates an ice chromatic orb. It freezes skeleton 3. Sirena

pokes the skeleton, which then shatters into a million tiny pieces.

■ E turn: Elaria eats fish ration only to gain back 1 health point. Getting

frustrated with not being able to help fight or recover her health, Elaria

goes back to her Elvish roots and decides to meditate to gain health.

■ D turn: Doryu runs Skeleton 2 into the wall.

● Skeleton slides sword against Doryu’s ribs and he takes 1 damage.

■ Tw turn: Twang attacks with swords. He slices the top of skeleton 2’s head off.

■ K turn: Koe tries to close the distance between him and the last remaining skeleton. He looks in the bar mirror, sees his appearance, scares himself, and falls down.

○ Round 4

■ S turn: Sirena uses Fire Bolt. She creates a flame, scales it back until it's

just a small fire from one finger. She flicks the fire at skeleton 2, burning

the skeleton to a crisp.

■ The battle ends!!!! Gain XP and increase by 1 level.

● Elaria and Sirena choose to take time to choose new spells.

● Doryu, Twang, and Koe loot skeletons.

○ They find a piece of paper on one of the skeletons that simply has the letters FYTN written on it. Koe puts it in his bag. 2. Aftermath of the Battle Brawl: ● Frenchie splits!

○ Group turns to the bar to get their money from Frenchie and ask for information. They find that he is not behind the bar anymore and the back door to the bar is wide open.

■ With no one in the group being proficient in tracking, the group realizes it would be a lost cause to go after Frenchie.

■ The group rolls perception checks to investigate the bar one last time before leaving.

● Elaria notices a weird smells has taken over the bar. Twags simply notices the back door being open and that there are stairs leading to a second floor. Doryu hears a knock coming from upstairs, as does Sirena. Koe be chillen at bar and not paying attention.

● Let’s split up, gang!

○ Sirena and Elaria stay downstairs in case Frenchie decides to come back. Twang and Doryu go upstairs to investigate the knocking sound. Koe, being difficult as always, decides not to join either group and just sit on the stairs.

■ Sirena and Elaria talk about the guys in the group and agree that they are all weird and immature. They agree that the girls are the brains of the operation.

■ Koe plays with his knife on the stairs.

○ Upstairs: Doryu kicks the door at the top of the stairs open. A dirty, weird smelling

man falls from the ceiling and hits the floor. The man sees Doryu and Twang and thanks them for coming to rescue him.

■ Twang rolls a perception check on the man and notices that the man seems extremely malnourished and dehydrated.

● Twang gives the man water from his waterskin.

■ After receiving the water, the man becomes more alert and starts freaking out. He begins to scream at Doryu and Twang asking who they were, why

they are there in his bar, and just cursing at them.

■ Elaria, Sirena, and Koe run upstairs after hearing the commotion. They

ask what’s going on.

● Dude starts yelling and cursing: “I’ve been fucking locked up in

this goddamn room by some fucking guy with a fucking French ass mustache. I’ve been starving and dying of fucking thirst and then you’re fucking weird ass friends come barging into the room. This is my bar, what are you fucking doing in my fucking bar?!”

○ Group plus the guy go downstairs to get the guy a drink from the bar.

■ Guy gets aggravated and says that “this doesn’t look like Roger’s bar”

(guy’s name is Roger). They try to explain that as far as they know this is Frenchie’s bar, the guy who locked him up.

● Roger, still aggravated, shares that Frenchie is a part of the Midnight Bane ■ Group continues trying to gather information from Roger who is still yelling and cursing, not being of much help.

● Koe, being an asshole, decides to try intimidating Roger by throwing his dagger at the Roger’s Bar sign above the bar. He takes 1 damage

■ Roger shares that the only thing remaining in the bar that belongs to him is his favorite plaque that has a joke from a traveler named Ambrose. 1He starts to tell the joke: “So a bear walks into a bar...oh I’ll tell this joke another time. I’m very tired from all the craziness.”

■ Doryu asks Koe for the paper they looted from the skeletons. He asks Roger about the letters written on the paper.

● Roger states that the letters on the paper are given to the Midnight Bane’s henchmen when they are assigned a job, the job this time most likely being to kill the group. The letters are essentially useless now that the skeletons have been defeated.

■ The group decides to leave the bar and Roger asks for their names. The group goes around sharing their names with Roger and then leave the bar. Koe forgets his dagger, which is still stuck in the bar sign.

3. Regrouping at the Lodge ● What to do now?

○ The group goes back to the lodge to rest after the battle at the bar and to talk about strategies moving forward.

■ Elaria’s mood shifts as she becomes angered by what happened at the bar. She states that they must come up with a plan because they had told Frenchie that they were interested in the Midnight Bane and were sent by Panrose to defeat them. She deducts that if Frenchie is part of the Midnight Bane, then they no longer have the element of surprise and they will be waiting for them, or even be coming after them.

■ Serina suggests the group get to know each other better since theu only just met and have to trust each other.

● Doryu shares that Dragonborns are often feared due to the Dragon wars. He had became part of a group of Dragonborn monks in order to try to reclaim the Dragonborn’s good name and restore honor to the race and their abilities. When out on a mission one day, the monks at the monastery were attacked and killed. Upon return Doryu and the few remaining monks set out with the mission to bring justice to those who killed their brothers and avenger their deaths.

1 Ambrose was the DM’s character in a different campaign. He is a talking bear famous for telling dad jokes such as the bear joke started here. “A bear walks into a bar and walks over to the bartender. The bartender says ‘what can I get you, bear?’ The bear says ‘I’ll have a......a beer.’ Bartender says ‘No problem, but I have one question...what’s with the pause?’ The bear looks down at his hands and says ‘I don’t know. I’ve had them my whole life.’”Sirena states that she has a similar past, where her family was murdered. They had been her village’s apothecaries and she had apprenticed under her parents, which is why she is so proficient in healing.

○ Sirena’s backstory is interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the house.

○ Enter Pansy, sobbing “Oh what sad stories! What tragic pasts you have had.”

■ The group is not happy that Panrose was spying on them, to which

Panrose states “this is my house, I can come and go as I please.

■ Elaria brings up Frenchie to Panrose. She tell him what happened at the

bar and that now Frenchie know that they are coming after the Midnight Bane.

● Pansy’s response: “Oh THAT’S bad”

● The group asks Pansy to tell them what he knows about Frenchie.

○ Pansy starts by explaining that Frenchie is not French, but just loves the French culture. He states that Frenchie means “lover of potatoes” (? got to love the random shit that the DM spews out sometimes)

○ Frenchie has the ability of having many faces (some in the group question if he’s a shapeshifter, but the question goes unanswered). Pansy mentions that Frenchie’s specialty is manipulating shapeshifters (so now the question is whether Frenchie was really in the bar, was that his actual face, or was it a shapeshifter he was manipulating?)

○ Pansy states that Frenchie is the toughest member of the Midnight Bane. He states that one time Frenchie threw his glasses at him. He pauses and goes “Sound familiar?”2

● After providing the group with this information, Pansy poofs out of the lodge.

● Who needs a nap?

○ Group decides the begin resting and take turns keeping watch in case the Midnight Bane send creatures after them.

■ Sirena needs to meditate, so she rests first. So does Doryu.

■ Elaria having meditated during battle takes first watch. Koe also takes first

watch, which pisses Elaria off, not trusting him after the stunts he had pulled that day.

● Twang decides to take watch as well. He goes up on the roof taking watch outside, while Koe and Elaria take watch inside.

● Elaria and Koe argue.

2 DM breaks the fourth wall here by having Pansy mention an inside joke referencing a real life event with glasses being thrown. Group steps out of character for a minute or two as they laugh hysterically and then regain their composure.

■ Twang hears howling in the distance, getting louder. He goes inside, tells Elaria and Koe, and then proceeds to wake up Sirena and Doryu.

■ Outside in the distance, the group sees a swarm of 75 skeletal quippers3 and 2 skeletal wolves.

● Twang calls upon Pansy who poofs in to the lodge. Twang screams “France is invading!” (meaning that Frenchie has ordered an attack).

○ Pansy is asked to help and instead says “bye bitches” and poofs out, leaving the group to plan their attack.

■ Twang decides to go up to the roof and use long range bow attacks to kill off creatures before they reach the lodge.

■ Sirena and Elara follow Twang to the roof to use their long range spells and cantrips on the swarm.

■ Doryu and Koe stay in the house to fight the creatures if they infiltrate the house.

● Roll for turn rotation order: Elaria, Koe, Doryu, Sirena, Twang ○ Position of creatures: swarm of quips are climbing the

walls of lodge to get to rooftop by Sirena. Wolf 1 and Wolf 2 on other side of lodge on the ground.

4. Battle at the lodge!

● The Battle Begins

○ Round 1, fight!

■ E turn: Elaria tries to use Chromatic Orb towards the swarm of quips.