#" "NYSC program

[pearlnwade]

LEMONADE

I have often considered myself beautiful and attractive; but not on days like this. Welcome to the real-world Olly.

I’d always been excited about NYSC because it was my only way out from my father’s house. I’ll have the opportunity to move to a different state—far from Lagos —and gain a great level of independence. Really, that was all I wanted, and at the beginning, it seemed like a perfect plan.

On the 8th of January 2019, at about 7am, I got what was long coming—the official end of my already dead relationship. If I’m being honest, I’d seen it coming from a mile away. So when it finally happened, I didn’t even know how to react. There was just complete uncertainty and it literally sent chills down my spine. The 8th of January was also the day I was leaving for Abuja, to start my NYSC —the next and exciting chapter in my life. Sadly, the dream of going through this phase of life with a partner to share it all with, was now nothing but shards of a beautiful glass. I got on a plane to Abuja that evening and convinced myself that I was going to be alright, I’m a strong woman after all. But honestly, I wasn’t even close to it. And one thing I was sure of is: no matter how much you try to hide your feelings and lie to everyone that you are okay, YOU JUST CAN’T LIE TO YOURSELF.

The 9th of January 2019 was initially dedicated to rounding up my NYSC registration, but everything took a wrong turn when my phone got stolen. I rushed to the Airtel office to get my sim disabled, but they said that they couldn’t do it unless I swore an affidavit. Can things just get any worse? Yes, it just began.

On the 10th of January 2019, I went to the court to get a sworn affidavit. Before going there, I withdrew 3k, just in case I need to pay for whatever was required. But little did I know it was a wrong move. After I got my affidavit, I followed my friend to Jos — I had planned to do this for a while—I needed somewhere to cool off. You know, blow off some steam. I love Jos for one particular reason: cheap and beautiful nails! It's crazy how affordable it is compared to other parts of Nigeria and I really wanted to do my nail. Like I said, blowing off some steam.

The next morning, I arrived at the salon and of course, I picked the best style. I had N2,200 with me, and the total of my nails cost N2,400. So, I told the nail artist that I had only N2,200 cash that I didn’t want to spend my entire cash at hand. I also made her understand that I’d have transferred to her, but I couldn’t send money because I had no phone. To ease her worry, I told her to hold on to my purse and N2,000 of the total amount I had; I was going to get a keke ride to the ATM to withdraw some cash. When I got to the ATM, I made the request to be dispensed N3,000 and the response was “insufficient funds”. I was confused. I made a second request for N1,000 and it said the same thing. Now, in the midst of strangers I was about to just lose it. I decided to check the total of what was in my account and I saw N4. Wait what! Four naira? It’s a joke right? Everything I felt that day is like a scar in my skin right now, because as I type these words, I feel the rush all over. Anyway, I put myself together and went home. Basically, I had no relationship, no phone and no money—all within 3 days. Wondering if I didn’t pay for those nails? Well, thankfully, I did. My friend helped me pay the rest for the nails. God bless you Emily. My trip back to Abuja that Sunday was a reflective one. And the worst part was I felt that I deserved every single thing that happened to me. Did I?

I indulged in a couple of dates afterwards: to remind or convince myself that I could still be desired by men; anything to find value in an empty space. I was broken, but tried my best to keep working— it’s how I have been programmed to act, since I was a girl. On days like this, I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt stuck, like there was a bottomless pit of lacking that I desperately wanted to fill. I didn’t feel smart and I didn’t trust anyone.

My ex came to Abuja, (we had reconnected a couple weeks before he arrived) so I had my hopes up that things were going to get a lot better. But it didn't. Infact, I had never felt that disrespected in my life, I felt so little and helpless. “Certain things happen for things to get better”- Olly. Hold on to that quote because I sure didn’t. I know that if I did, my emotions would have been more defined to make me stronger not to break me down.

“It’s time to move out of (my ex’s friend’s) house” my ex told me before he left for Lagos. To avoid further humiliations and belittling, and to keep my boss babe rep, I told him that I had a place to stay. But I didn’t. I had no single idea where I was going to stay. That Sunday when he left, I decided that I was going to call a couple people and if push comes to shove, I will rent my own place. The push came to shove and I started pulling funds—from my parents and my brother really. I raised enough money just for the house rent. The cost of ordinary foam to sleep on was yet unaffordable. I was so sad, continuously asking myself if coming to Abuja was the best option for me.

On a special Wednesday, I had to leave the house that I was staying in, after having packed all my things in less than 15 minutes. By exactly 9:56pm, I entered my cab with my luggage, on the move in the middle of the night looking for where I could rest my head. Now, I had a couple options, unfortunately, 99% of them wanted to sleep with me, but my 1% was Diamond. She did a lot for me throughout my early stay in Abuja. She was my go-to girl and of course she had my back on days like this. I stayed with her for about five days but had to leave. I had already spent more than N30,000 in search for a house and I still did not have one. I was frustrated and desperate to find a house and I did. You know that phrase “do not make any decision when you are desperate’, I didn’t follow it. I paid for a bad house that I would have spent more than N200,000 to renovate before even buying my bed. I lost N40,000, and because I was losing so much money and wanted a way out, I lost an additional N120,000. At this point, I still didn’t have a house. What is my next step? I thought. I felt no love and zero trust in anyone. Like no one!

MY LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

People always use the phrase “though trouble lasts all night, joy comes in the morning”. I got a phone call on a very special Sunday night. It was my mum telling me that it only gets better, and I am to move into Justice’s house. What?! For real? Everything since then has been sweet and smooth. The end is pretty amazing. I am still looking for the guy that’ll sweep me off my feet, make me feel safe and loved. I am quite happy; and for the first time in a long time, things are finally working out for me. I am still healing, I mean, it takes time, but I am healing. There are parts of this story that weren't typed in this article, but if you ask me out and buy me a drink after this lockdown, I might consider telling you the juicy, intimate details.

I went through most of this without Jesus; I always forget that He is a constant. He was meant to be my constant not anyone else.

Cheers to happiness.

[newssplashy]

Out of sight may be out of mind for some people, however, this saying wasn’t applicable to Femi and Shade.

This couple were head over heels in love with each other. Hence, the reason they beat the odds.

Coping with long-distance

Femi and Shade’s love could neither be obstructed by distance nor time apart. Though it tarried physically, but the strong bond between them weathered every storm.

They grew each day, so fond of each other. And as their love bloomed, time appeared patient with them. Some nights they’d stay up chatting over the phone, and other days they’d exchange love letters. Shade couldn’t wait to be done with school; she just couldn’t imagine her life without Femi in it.

Shade’s graduation

And just as she’d longed for the end of her tertiary education; the time finally came. She was overjoyed and couldn’t hold the news to herself. She invited both old and new friends to her graduation party. And of course! Femi was very much present.

Aftermath of the party took place in a private lodge outside campus, and it was mad fun for the lovebirds and their friends. A few ticks after midnight saw an end to the party and everyone was retired to their resting places. Shade and Femi had a luxurious room waiting upstairs for them; courtesy of Femi.

The amazing night

They made love like lovers on their honeymoon. It was a passionate night, the intensity was explosive; it was as though “they’ve been led out of Egypt” like the Israelites. Then again, this particular night was a Top-Up to their very first night. However, another beautiful memory was again created. Though the night tarried, but not slow enough to have prevented dawn from being birthed.

Read Also: I conquered my fears and finally hired myself

The morning sun peeped through the curtain blind, as its light rays brightened up the once dark room where Femi and Shade laid in. They awoke finally! Femi had just a few hours left to spare; so every single minute was to be spent beside his precious Jewel.

Yet another departure

Their departure this time is going to be for one straight year, because they’re both travelling to different locations for important reasons. Femi is going abroad for training, while Shade will be dispatched to a different part of the country for her NYSC. Soon, it was the set hour, a driver was ready downstairs to take Femi to the airport.

Needless to say, it was an intense moment filled with mixed feelings for the lovebirds. But life has to happen, like it does; always! And so, Femi departed for the airport and Shade decided to journey home to be with family.

NYSC time

In a couple of weeks, Shade received her call-up letter for the NYSC orientation program. It was a new level of experience for her and she shared most of it with Femi. With lots of pictures to remember some key moments by, and some short clips saved up in her archives; she saved them all.

Orientation Camp was tough for Shade, it’s no news that every bad thing is made worse in Nigeria. According to default way of thinking in Nigeria, we deserve the tough love because it is the only way we can truly learn what others went through. In this case, I disagree!

Long journey from home

Whatever happened, had to happen! And Shade was later dispatched to a small town; few kilometres away from Femi’s hometown. She wasn’t very thrilled about this new development, even though she’d earlier thought about serving in Lagos or its environs. But she had no choice, it was already decided upon on her behalf; after all!

A few months got her settled in, she got a big apartment away from the heart of the town. Her new apartment was spacious. Shade had rejected the room offered to her, because she didn’t want to live in the “Corpers’ Lodge” with a bunch of strangers. Bit by bit, day by day, time drifted as it should.

Read Also: Sex and the city [Episode ii]

 Shade enjoying NYSC

Six months down the line saw Shade into the celebrity stage, she now feels connected. She’s made some friends in town, and the people adored her; especially for her incredible sense of humour. She was living and loving every minute of it---until one fateful evening. One of the girls from the neighbourhood came by to visit Shade, they’d had plans to watch a trending movie together. And just before then, Shade’s phone rang with a photo of Femi displaying on the screen.

The young girl recognised the face, it was the face of her brother-in-law! How is this possible? Didn’t they say Femi is in America? How is it possible for these two to know each other; she thought to herself. A few minutes later, shade got back into the room and asked the girl if it had been her phone ringing! Yes Shade! Your phone did ring! She passed the phone over, and Shade scrolled through to check who it was. Oh! It’s Femi, she exclaimed! I have to return his call, she said.

The awful gist about Femi

The girl (Abike) spoke up to halt Shade. Please, don’t call yet. That Femi is from Oshogbo, right!? Yes, shade replied with a surprised countenance. Do you know him, Shade asked Abike! Yes, I recognised him from the image on your phone……..he is somewhat my in-law. His older brother was once married to my cousin. They are exceptionally nice people, until you marry them. Abike told Shade everything she knew about Femi and his family---and as they spoke, Shade wept.

She’d been told that the love of her life is from a family of “wife beaters” and sexually promiscuous people. She couldn’t believe her ears after being told of the emotional trauma Abike’s cousin went through in the hands of Femi’s brother. She imagined if this same fate would befall her once she marries into Femi’s same family!

The decision

The imaginations of what would become of her once she becomes Femi’s wife drove her crazy. The scary thoughts made Shade very weary, and for the first time; the distance between her and Femi became visible. However, she wanted to tell Femi about it, but then she wondered what the outcome would be…..would he just convince me that he’s different from his brother? How could he be from such a family? She pondered over it continuously, and so, she kept them to herself and never spoke of it to anyone.

Femi was not just a lover boy! He was also intelligent, he figured something had gone wrong with Shade; and so he rounded off his programs beforehand. He flew down to Lagos and headed straight to Avbiosi, Shade’s hometown. It was almost 4 years into their relationship, and the set time for the Age-Group ceremony which brought them together in the first place. He decided to visit her hometown because he knew, there was no way Shade was going to miss the Age-Group ceremony.

The surprise trip

Femi found a nice hotel to lodge-in at Uzebba, a neighbouring town to Avbiosi, in Edo State. After waiting a few days, the evening came upon which the maidens dance-off was to take place. Femi manned up and headed straight to the venue where the dance-off was taking place. Unfortunately, Shade was nowhere present. He was sad to know that Shade was indeed unhappy, because it is unlikely for her to miss this ceremony. He thought and thought as he waited patiently for Shade, and as the clock kept ticking, so did time drifted afar into the night.

Read Also: Your affirmations confirms your miracles

 The rejection

And as Femi proceeded out of the arena, he met with Shade. Apparently, she’d been sitting by the corner watching other girls dance. They hugged, it’s obvious that they’ve missed each other, and regardless of the new findings about Femi; they were still in love. Femi watched Shade closely as they spoke, she was avoiding eye contact. But he waited patiently for her to finish talking before he’d reassure her that he’s not going to betray their love.

I know what you want to ask me Femi, and the answer is no! I can’t marry you! I heard heart-breaking stories about your family, and guess what; you supported your brother when he was being accused by his wife. I can’t deal with a broken marriage, I’d rather deal with a broken engagement than deal with infidelity and emotional trauma at home. I love you Femi, but the “apple rarely falls far from the tree” Goodbye! Femi, my love!!

Disclaimer!

This story is based on a true life circumstance. And it was extracted and put together in order to educate people on “placing judgement” on people based on their family history.

Femi loved Shade, and their love could have been different from what his brother had. Every individual has a different future, and rejecting people based on stories you’ve had about them is probably not the best way to go---give love a chance.

If we marry the ones with flawless family records, who’d marry the rest? Undermining the fact that our own children could go astray at some point, and in the end; we may be very bitter if other parents rejects them for their previous errs.

Hence my quote “if we technically didn’t know so much, perhaps we wouldn’t have too many self-inflicted deprivations”.

All quotes and article written by Joyous Akhivbareme.

Story inspired by the Iuleha people of Edo State

Thank you for reading…..

via Latest Nigerian News Online-Nigerian News,World Newspaper