#& 2) bi women can reclaim dyke if they want to. if you disagree please go argue with the wall about it & not in my notes

[femmedionysus]

why cant transmascs use the t slur? we're all transgender whether we're nonbinary, trans men, agender, transfemme, trans women or whatever. why does the assigned birth gender matter? we've all experienced transphobia and the t slur is used the same against transmascs as it is transfemmes.

yes, we have all experienced transphobia, you’re right! can you guess what we haven’t all experienced though?

that’s right, transmisogyny! while all trans people do face transphobia, trans women & transfems face a unique intersection of transphobia & misogyny greater than the sum of its parts. I don’t say that to downplay transphobia - transphobia is dangerous & horrrible to experience, genuinely.

when you are in a community with many different people, sometimes you share one axis of oppression with some people, but they may experience a different type of oppression too, one that you don’t experience. that doesn’t mean that you stop experiencing the type of oppression that you share with them, it just means that they experience other forms of oppression, and sometimes those are connected to each other. sharing one form of oppression with someone doesn’t give you the experience of other forms of oppression that person has.

for example: all non-straight people experience homophobia. all women experience misogyny. as a lesbian, I get both homophobia and misogyny directed at me, & where those two things intersect, I experience lesbophobia. this doesn’t mean that every time I experience oppression, it’s automatically lesbophobia - sometimes it is “just” homophobia or “just” misogyny. I share the experience of misogyny with cis & trans women of all sexualities. I share the experience of homophobia with gay & bi people of all genders. the fact that I am a target of lesbophobia doesn’t make the homophobia that a gay man experiences any less dangerous or awful; it would still be inappropriate for him to reclaim the word dyke for himself, because that word was never meant as a slur against him. the fact that I experience lesbophobia doesn’t make the misogyny a straight woman faces any less dangerous or awful, but it would still be inappropriate for her to call herself a dyke.

the t slur originated as a hateful term used against trans women. when it is used towards tme people, it is not meant as an insult for being transmasc, it is meant to insult us by grouping us in with trans women. do you see why it’s different for someone affected by transmisogyny to reclaim a transmisogynistic slur than it is for someone who is not affected by transmisogyny to use it?

you sound young so I am genuinely trying to explain here. I’m not your dad, I can’t tell you what words you can or cannot say, you are a complete stranger to me. I’m just letting you know that when you use a slur that is not targeted at you, the people around you who are targeted by that slur will probably feel less safe around you, & a lot of people around you will probably think you sound like an asshole.

[zutaralesbian]

1-100

Ahhh thanks!

1. How do you define your sexuality? Lesbian. 100% gay. I only like women. 2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? I didn’t full come terms with my sexuality until I was 20, but I first started realizing I was attracted to women at around 17 or 18. 3. How out are you? Pretty out? My family and most of my co-workers and friends know. I just don’t have a GF yet and I probably pass as straight from a first glance, so people don’t usually know unless I tell them. 4. At what age did you first come out? 205. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? My mom. She took it well. And wasn’t really surprised. 6. Has coming out lost you any friends? Yeah, one. I’m over it now but it hurt at the time. :/7. What is your current relationship status? Single *sighs*8. How many gay friends do you have? Four 9. How many male friends do you have? Outside my family, only two lol. And only one of them is cishet. 10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? I used to have my hair short when I was a kid but it’s been long since middle school. I think I look better with long hair. 11. How often do you wear flannel? Never. I feel like I should start wearing it though12. How much do you like cats? I LOVE CATS13. Do you like skirts and dresses?: Once in a while. I’m usually a strictly jeans person but i’ll wear a skirt or dress for special occasions. 14. Do you like high heels? Nope15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, how many and where? None yet. But I kind of want to get one one day. 16. How accurate is your gaydar? It’s shit lol17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? Not yet18. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? It’s kind of annoying but I don’t really get heated about it? Mainly because I don’t think the people who do it actually mean any harm. 19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? All I do is get crushes on straight girls lol :(20. Ellen or Portia? Ellen21. Is your nose pierced? Nope22 Would you ever want to get married? Yes I do. One day23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? Probably 24. Would you ever want to give birth? I kind of want to do it once just so I can experience the whole pregnancy thing. But I probably won’t want to do it twice. 25. Have you ever watched The L Word? No. And I probably won’t, with the things I heard about it. 26. Have you ever dated a guy? I had a really brief relationship with one in high school27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? It makes me uncomfortable. I usually try to correct people when I hear it. 28. How many rainbow items do you own? One bracelet 29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? Yep! I went to my first last June months ago. 30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? Not yet. (Besides tweeting about it anyway)31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? Yes32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? No33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? No34. Do you eat meat? Yes35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes of course 36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Samira Wiley 37. Are you religious at all? Not really. I identify as Agnostic. 38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? Pretty often39. What is your ideal first date? Dinner or lunch at a restaurant. I like being able to talk to people on a first date. 40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? I’m okay with lezzie and lesbo (as long as it isn’t spoken in a malicious way or by a straight person) but I don’t like dyke. I’m obviously okay with other lesbians reclaiming it but I personally would rather not. 41. How outdoorsy are you? Not at all lol. I’m very much a diva in that sense. I need a clean bathroom and shower. And I hate dirt and bugs. 42. In general, has being out affected your relationships with other females? It hasn’t really effected how they interact with me, but I tend to be more cautious around women now, especially if they know i’m gay. Idk :/ I’ve only been out about my sexuality for about a year now so it’s just going to take some getting used to. 43. How much makeup do you typically wear? I wear it once in a while when i’m going to a large gathering or event of some kind. But I hardly ever wear it during an average day. And even then it’s usually pretty light makeup. 44. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? I have some tom boyish traits but I think i’m definitely a little more feminine than I am masculine. 46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person?47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters?48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? I’m not bi so it’s not really my place to answer but if someone says they’re 50/50, they’re 50/50. Not my business. 49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? Sometimes. My dating life was already a mess because of my anxiety but now I feel like being a lesbian is going to make it even harder to find a partner. But realizing that it’s what I am has also been more freeing too, because I no longer feel pressured to date someone I don’t want to date. 50. Do you watch any lesbian YouTubers? I don’t really watch YouTube in general, aside from occasional fan videos and randomness. 51. Do you like wearing combat boots or Doc Martins? Nah52. Have you ever been hit on by another female? There’s this girl at work who I feel like flirts with me but at the same time, i’m not sure because i’m shit at being able to tell lol. I also went on a date once, so there was some flirting there. 53. How athletic are you? Not at all lol54. How many girlfriends have you had? Zero :(55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? They’re not my thing but some girls can pull them off56. What does equality mean to you? Equal rights for everyone 57. If you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? I’m a full blown lesbian58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you?60. How flirty are you? Not very, I don’t think. I try to be though lol61. Are you a virgin? Yes62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians such as Tegan and Sara, Melissa Etheridge, or Chely Wright? No. But maybe i’ll check them out!63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? No64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality? If so, please explain. Not on a personal level 65. Have you ever driven an SUV or a pickup truck? I hardly ever drive in general lol66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? I was definitely a tomboy as a kid. I’ve gotten more feminine as I got older but some of the traits remain.   67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. Idk68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Kindness. I just like genuinely nice people, especially with how much meanness there is in the world.  69. Boobs or butts? Boobs70. Beer or wine? I don’t drink alcohol very often, but wine. Beer is gross71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? I haven’t see any yet 72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 1073. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 1074. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 1075. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 1076. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 1077. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 1078. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10079. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? 1080. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy?82. Do you carry a purse? Yes 83. Do you have any LGBT relatives? Yep. One of my cousins is also a lesbian84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? Once in a while to complete strangers 85. Would you ever date a trans girl? Sure, if we liked each other86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed in television? We don’t get portrayed often enough. And when we do, there’s usually very minimal effort put into it :/ (PS: Watch Black Sails everyone!)87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? Yes88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? Samira Wiley, Ellen Page, Emmy Rossum, Adelaide Kane, Jessica Parker Kennedy  89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? Don’t really have an opinion, other than that they should obviously be allowed to be in it. 90. Do you believe in love at first sight? No91. Would you ever have a threesome? If so, would a guy be included? Nope, ESPECIALLY not with a guy. I’m a strictly one-person girl. 92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? Don’t really think there is a specific place. But then again, what do I know? Lol93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? If there is, I haven’t heard of it. (Good as in: made my wlw FOR wlw)94. Have you ever had a one night stand? No95. How often do you wear a bra? All the time unless i’m in bed. It’s weird, but I feel kind of exposed without it. I also have big boobs, so not wearing one while i’m moving around can get a little uncomfortable. 96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? When I was really little. I sucked at it though lol97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? Yes. There’s some insecurities that I still have to work past but I overall love being a lesbian. 98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? Not sure 99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? Take your time and not to worry too much about it. It also helps to ask other LGBT+ about their experiences. 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? The same as above, pretty much. But also that their safety is more important than being “out”, if they live in a dangerous home environment.