#!f: super sentai

[sunshinemoonrx]

the himeritas in kingoh 30. good lord

why did you end your turn baby you had lethal etc.

Also I like how we're doing the saint seiya mode of introducing new villains where instead of beating each one in turn they all take turns beating your ass for as many episodes as it takes to show them all off to really establish how scary they are before you can start the comeback

Anyway

Tachibana-san are you really matching that lipstick with those highlights

I'm also interested by the idea that there are multiple languages on Terra. I guess it makes sense for Ishibana to have not!French, but then like, whose language are they all speaking most of the time? Shugoddom's? Why would the Bugnarok also--wait, babyshow, right, don't worry about it.

Back to what's important:

Apparently they do-

[sonia-kate]

I didn't see it here so I'll bring it up

Ah, yes

The elbow

Meanwhile Racules' fangirls tools (me included)

Seriously, though, kinda sucks. F in the chat, please

[garbageontherocks]

in which F struggles with figuring out how clip studio’s animation function works for an hour

[jenndubya]

So I finally looked up what over-time and anon used for the Nobuharu puns in Kingoh 32.

Anon, you didn't even try. But, to be fair, I don't think the episode writer did on this one either.

I hate how much I like anon's pun here. I spent so long like "WTF am I supposed to do with this?" and then they come out here and bring obvious gold.

I don't care, I'm still super biased towards my pun. He's literally making a "guru" (churning) motion for the yogurt and everything. Also, over-time are cowards for changing yogurt to yeti.

[tokuteasings]

You are my King | And to me, you are my world

Thank you Aoto Watanabe for being such a gorgeous person. Thank you for giving us Yanma Gust I’m gonna scream into the V  O I D

Once again this is referring to the hand kisses I wrote about in my kiss headcanons~! However, this is also influenced due to Aoto Watanabe’s instagram as I noticed he was wearing glasses so two plus two equals Yanma wears glasses now.

@twokairevolution, for you~! <3

Warnings: Reader is once again gender neutral. I don’t think this is spoiling episode 2. Romantic relationship. I swear this is wholesome fluff

“Yaaaaanma~!” a song upon your lips, accented perfectly with the lighter pitch of a laugh and a pep in your step. Your feet land beside the chair he reigns over, echoing within the empty room that thrums with wires and technical life, the whirring of fans and the silence from your king. 

But this is nothing new, alas. 

With the way he ignores you, a small hum leaves his lips, a tiny little glimpse into your existence. You know he doesn’t mean it, not when you see one set of fingers fly across the familiar keys of plastic and music and the other hand push up the glasses he rarely wears unless he’s been working for hours upon end. 

It’s a sort of unspoken signal, you would like to think of it that way. It’s protection against the blue light, yes, but perhaps it’s a small little...plea, perhaps. 

To whisk him away from this labyrinth within his mind, this cacophony of wires and binary numbers that twist and tangle around his feet and his neurons; they threaten to pull him under, reducing his clear sky of eyes into this murky cloudy emptiness. 

“It’s time for a break.” you wrap your arms around his tense shoulders, a half back hug, half dangling your hands over the keyboard of his laptop as a barrier. Your fingers find his, lacing together and fulfilling the empty spaces between them. A squeeze is passed between the two of you and a soft sigh left the lips of the man you call your beloved. You could feel the shoulders under your touch slowly dissipate, mountains heaving and making way for the tidal waves of your love. 

“Not yet.” he murmurs, lightly turning his face to look at you, eyes burdened with darkened circles behind the glass window panes. Any further movement, a kiss could be shared, and you two are alone...it could happen.

Instead, a simple peck on the cheek is felt from him, before he returns to his work, entering that maze off madness once again. Yanma gently pushes your hand off of the keys, furiously tapping and ticking away with renewed rhythm.

A frustrated sigh leaves your lips, before you move yourself away from him, to his side. 

You seize his hand into yours, tearing him away from his laptop and paying attention to you, as it should be. You smirk at his surprised expression and press a kiss to the pointer finger’s pad. 

A sputter, a gasp, a stammer, Yanma pulls his hand away from your lips just before you could continue your assault. The gears in his head have ceased to turn, sirens blaring within his mind and steam erupting from his ears. His poor face is beyond red, and you live for it. 

“W-What was that for?!” his hues threaten to bug out of his head, wide and wondering. He quickly takes off his now askew glasses from the jump, calling out your name, “Explain to me what that was.”

“Because I love you, Yanma. And you need to relax.” this equation was simple enough to answer with a smile to your lips as he flushes even further. A free hand is brought up to cover the lower half of his face, turning away to not look at you clearly. “You’ve been working too hard.” he answers with a small grunt of acknowledgement. 

“Besides,” you take his hand into yours again, watching as he turns his attention back to you, finally gathering up the sun after eons of confinement that drove him mad. You press another kiss to the next pad of his finger, hearing a hitch in his breath and a small, “Fuck,” leaving his lips, pupils dilating as you press onwards with your affections.

Your lips reach his knuckles, a gust of affection. “You’re the top, but you’re still the top of my world.”

Radio silence is heard from him for a moment longer, before he suddenly pulls your closer and closer, slamming your lips together once the orbit had been placed.

Air becomes sparse and when you two part, Yanma is glaring up at you, his cheeks still the brightest of suns. “Damn right, I should be.” he chuckles out, resting his forehead against yours, a sigh leaving his lips. “Fine, I’ll take a break. I’m getting annoyed at my work anyway.”

You chuckle softly, pulling backwards half way before he tugs you back down on to his chair, yelping as you straddle his hips. Your cheeks burn red, eyes wide. “Y-Yanma?”

“Just stay with me for a while,” he purrs out, taking your hand into his and pressing his own kisses on to your skin. “I command it.”

You snort, laughing as you roll your eyes while Yanma grumbles. “I will, I promise.”

He is your world after all, and who are you to deny him?

[shadowkaijin]

ive continued by investigation into the kamen rider & super sentai ao3 tags- we need more women in here

[puzzlevision]

I really really love the Power Rangers Mystic Force opening... I mean the opening music. Also magic and female blue ranger! Fantasy is my stuff btw

[dark-frosted-heart]

Club Starless: Asked fans to fill out a google form with what team with a concept they’d make

Here are some of the results

The 2 most responded teams

Team M (muscle), D (daikyoukin/pecs), G (gatai ga yoi/beefy) [purposefully chose that Sin card because the shirt’s fighting for its life)

Team Q(queen), S(sweet)

Team T (tei shinchou/shorties) - Menou, Yoshino, Maica, Ran, Yakou

Team F (fukugyou/side job) - Sotetsu, Kasumi, Hari, Yakou, Kongou

Team F (fansa/fanservice) - Rindou, Akira, Lico, Ran, Nekome

Team G (gamers) - Akira, Kasumi, Gui, Hari, Taiga

Team G (glasses/megane) - Rindou, Yoshino, Lico, Takami, Hari

Team L (language/unique speech) - Kei, Sin, Gui, Ran, Zakuro

Team M (mama) - Ginsei, Qu, Takami, Maica, Kongou

Team H (happy) - Akira, Qu, Shinju, Hari, Ran

Team O (owarai/comedy) - Sotetsu, Hari, Ran, Zakuro, Nekome

Team R (reverse/flip side) - Rindou, Ginsei, Akira, Yakou, Nekome

Team R (rich) - Kei, Yoshino, Maica, Hari, Ran

Team S (secret/sus) - Sin, Kasumi, Takami, Zakuro, Nekome

Team F (fragrance) - Menou, Yoshino, Qu, Lico, Maica

Team G (gekokujou/overcome someone in a higher position) - Yoshino, Shinju, Lico, Hari, Yakou

Team I (idol) - Kei, Rindou, Shinju, Ran, Yakou

Team M (metamorphosis) - Ginsei, Menou, Qu, Shinju, Takami

Team D (year of the dragon) - Mizuki, Shinju, Gui, Hari, Kongou [Kongou and the kids]

Team R (revolution) - Kokuyou, Mizuki, Sotetsu, Yoshino, Heath

Team S (spotlight) - Kasumi, Gui, Taiga, Kongou, Nekome [is this supposed to be ironic]

Team F (first/the first memebers of Starless) - Kokuyou, Ginsei, Menou, Akira, Nekome

Team H (hero/super sentai colors) - Kei, Kokuyou, Rindou, Akira, Maica

[tokuvivor]

Thanks for the tag on this one, @shychick-52! (Update: And @writebackatya.)

how many fics do you have on ao3?

12.

what's your total ao3 word count?

69,172.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

The Power of Three

Bridging the Gap

We Could Bring You a Hamburger…

One Night Ultimate Duck (Or Hummingbird, or Parrot)

Duckverse June 2023 Prompts (yes, it’s a story collection, but it still counts)

what fandoms do you write for?

DuckTales 2017, mostly, a bit for Super Sentai, did one for the Netflix show Dash & Lily, and I have a couple ideas of fics relating to other shows.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Yes! Someone took time out of their day to read my stuff and leave their input on it, and the least I could do is show my appreciation for it in return, and elaborate on any questions they may have.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Shit, I’m really not good with ending stories on a down note; I try to make the endings as satisfying as possible. But I’d say the closest thing to that is for my 6th Webby Week story, Am I Good Enough? (An Internal Battle). It’s basically just Webby wrestling over being chosen by the Papyrus in her mind. Even though it doesn’t end on an outright fairy tale note, she does recognize that it’s okay to not have something that big figured out immediately, and that it’s good to talk about it with other people if you have trouble processing it.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That’s a tough one. There are probably certain stories I’ll discuss in later answers, so for this one, I’ll go with We Could Bring You a Hamburger…. I mean, it’s just a sweet, simple story about something that absolutely should’ve been shown in canon (Webby getting her first hamburger). It’s just a good, satisfying, slice of life kinda thing.

do you get hate on your fics?

Well, on the second chapter of The Power of Three, I got somebody telling me that Huey shouldn’t be guilty over going against his general Woodchuck instinct and leaving Violet behind, and that he should be jealous and upset with Violet and Lena for insulting him and making him feel miserable. Jesus.

do you write smut?

No. I honestly don’t think I’d be good at it. Especially regarding a show like DuckTales. If I were to, it’d probably be wayyyyy down the road.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not actively; if I write something with multiple fandom tags on AO3, it’s mostly because minor elements of one thing are peppered into my DT story.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Thank god.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that’d be interesting.

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes; I started working with @sisiwritesfanfics on her Super Sentai Couples One-Shot Collection beginning with the second story. We’re currently trying to work on the third.

what's your all time favorite ship?

I don’t know, probably Fendra? But I generally prefer fanworks of them more, especially when stories go more in-depth regarding their relationship than we got in canon. There are others in DuckTales, and other pieces of media, that I really enjoy, though.

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

At the moment, none. But there are a couple idea that I have that I don’t know if I’d ever start.

what are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially between two characters, and being able to really get into characters’ minds.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Writing full-on angst. I can incorporate bits of angst into stories, especially when it’s introspective, but a full story of it just wouldn’t be my thing (so, way longer than Am I Good Enough?). Also, losing motivation at certain points in time.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I’ve done bits of gratuitous Spanish or Latin in my stories before, but no full-on dialogue. But I did provide the translated Spanish dialogue between Fenton, Gosalyn, and Webby in @writebackatya’s story Let’s All Go to the Movies!.

first fandom you wrote for?

Technically speaking, I did a piece based on Wreck-It Ralph back in high school for my creative writing class. So that, I guess.

favorite fic you've ever written?

Massive toss-up for me here. The Power of Three is special because it was my first fic, and it focuses on the budding dynamic between Huey, Violet, and Boyd, which absolutely should have been explored in the show. But my other major early idea for a DuckTales story turned into Bridging the Gap. Gandra isn’t written nearly as often alongside Huey, and we only really got a resolution of her relationship with Fenton (amongst main and major recurring characters) in the show, so I wanted to build on the pieces we got between Gandra and Huey in her episodes, which culminated in what I still think is my absolute favorite scene I’ve written. I think the overall edge goes to Power, but Bridging isn’t far behind in my heart.

Tagging @godfrey-the-chaos-duck and @sparklingspidey

[tsunflowers]

kaika sentai vineranger!

vinered - masanobu mamoru - 19 - m super chill. not very talkative but loving and dependable. would be the perfect shoulder to cry on. fiercely loyal and protective. the kind of hero archetype who's chill until you hurt their friends and then nothing can stop them. was neighbors with kanae as a kid and their families are friends so they have a sibling-like relationship. taking a gap year before college and working at kanae's family's landscaping business. always has tan lines. theme is bromeliads and weapons are tonfa

vinegreen - takasugi kanae - 21 - f a little goofy and almost overly friendly. wears a big jacket with pockets that are full of miscellaneous stuff. loves to tease and playfully wrestle people. lesbian. at college studying to get a degree in urban design. her older brother will take over the landscaping business but growing up with it gave her an interest in getting greenery into people's lives. dating saiko. theme is grapes and weapon is a whip

vinepink - ibara saiko - 21 - f aloof and prickly. bad at expressing herself with words and doesn't emote well either but shows love in gestures and acts of service. will deny it if you bring it up. works in her family's flower shop with her mom and grandma. known kanae since elementary school and kanae acts as a social buffer for her. also a lesbian. sensitive to smells and textures. theme is roses and weapons are shuriken

vineyellow - asilah ra warda - 16 - f princess of the kingdom of warda. fled to earth when her kingdom was attacked by the evil skeleton kingdom, not knowing they would follow her there. always bright and cheerful despite everything. was kind of sheltered in the palace so she loves modern earth culture. being a high school student is a thrill to her. is the world's best sleepover buddy. theme is chrysanthemums and weapons are pompoms (that explode)

vineblue - zahir ra warda - 18 - m prince of the kingdom of warda. fled to earth along with his sister. neurotic and anxious all the time. naturally a routine-oriented guy and being thrown into another world entirely is not helping him. fascinated by earth technology like his sister but when he notices himself getting too deep into it he'll like slap himself awake and remind himself there's no time when evil is afoot. awkward with kids bc he's awkward with everything but actually loves them and is a good tutor. theme is irises and weapon is a crossbow

vinewhite - nehal - 1 - nb secret weapon of the kingdom of warda. a plant person who began to grow in a pod when the kingdom was first attacked. very rude and abrasive due to just being born and having no social skills but also just has a bad personality. single minded focus on tasks but easily disgusted by having to do literally anything they aren't interested in. starts living in mamoru's apartment and sparks begin to fly...? doesn't need a changer bc they can just do that. theme is lilies and weapon is a sword

[toku100challenge]

The Toku100 Drabble Challenge

Welcome to The Toku100 Drabble Challenge! This is a spiritual successor of sorts to the old and now long gone toku100 community on LJ. However some of how this event operates will be a bit different compared to the original.

This challenge is about making Tokusatsu drabbles with prompts from one of the prompt lists, or a self generated bingo card, and going at your own pace. This event is meant to be relaxing and fun, as well as a good way to flex those storytelling muscles through making some drabbles!

This is meant to be relaxing and fun, as well as a good way to flex those storytelling muscles through making some drabbles about those special effects shows and movies that we love!

This challenge welcomes all types of Tokusatsu from all across the genre. Kamen Rider, Super Sentai, Garo, Metal Heroes, Power Rangers, Ultraman, various showa series, etc. Even shows like PGSM or Cutie Honey The Live! If it's in the Toku genre, it's welcome here.

All types of drabbles are welcome. Gen, M/M, F/F, M/F, Multi, etc! All ratings welcome too.

Because all ratings are welcome, this event is 18+ only and participants must be over 18 years of age regardless of what they will write. If you are found to be under 18, you will be blocked and banned from participating.

This event mainly runs on Dreamwidth at toku100challenge but while having a Dreamwidth account is also not required to participate, it is highly encouraged. And it's free too!

But there are ways to participate without being on DW itself. Such as through this very Tumblr! I also am posting the prompts on here as well. I would love to see as many fans as possible partake in this regardless of what platform they use.

You can see more information below on how this challenge works, as well as links to the Ao3 collection and the Dreamwidth community:

🔗Rules and Information | Ao3 Collection | Dreamwidth | Prompts | SquidgeWorld Collection

Have any questions? Suggestions? Thoughts? Need something clarified? Feel free to leave an ask in the askbox and I will get to it as soon as I can! (Right now it is only just me running this and I am only one person.)

[garbageontherocks]

come to think of it, I forgor to post these here

upper left is from this expression meme sheet, the rest are from this other one

thanks to C for giving me art prompts as usual~

- F

[jenndubya]

So, there were like four of us regularly subbing Donbros, right?

New challenge. It's Donbros but every time the scene changes, so do the subs.

[kirinda]

(icon and header and art in this post r by @/cupiidzbow !)

my names voltaire and this is my selfship blog! i barely use this blog and it needs revamping, my main is ousama!

IF YOU @ OR TAG ME IN A POST PLEASE @/TAG OUSAMA, MY URL IS AN OBSCURE CHARACTER AND I DONT WANT TO FILL HIS TAG WITH UNRELATED STUFF

im selfship tumblrs most hated thats how you know im a good blog baby yeah!!!!

do not follow me if you are a minor. do not follow me if you are a proshipper.

if you rb from misogynists ill probably block you its not my job to tell you when you follow one use that little brain in there

sharing f/os is awesome! be nice about it

F/O LIST AND SELF INSERTS UNDER CUT

MAIN GUYS

Kirinda (Eto Ranger) tag: 📸

Trafalgar Law (One Piece) tag: 🫀*note: I ship with all of the heart pirates and use the same tag for them. Only Law is a major F/O amongst them.

Masked Deuce (One Piece) tag: ♠️

SECONDARY

Banban (Garten of Banban) tag: 🥳

Kaito Kumon (Kamen Rider) tag: 🍌

Rowena MacLeod (Supernatural) tag: 😈

Shelda (Bugsnax) tag: ☮️

BOe (Магазинчик БО) tag: 🐰

Biznella (Super Sentai) tag: 🃏

Nellie Lovett (Sweeney Todd) tag:🥧

Chuck Keith (Gundam) tag:🌌

Olympia (Pokemon) tag: 🔮

Marcus Kane (Twisted Metal) tag: 🚧 *Only the Head-On and Black continuity

Lard Nar (Invader Zim) tag: 🛸

Misasagi (Rune Factory) tag: ⛩️

Self Inserts

Makoto Edamura (Great Pretender) tag: 🐱

The Director/Hubert (Interliminality) tag: 📺

All of my inserts use any pronouns while i usually default to he/they for them

My Eto Ranger self insert is Cabbage! He's shipped with Kirinda/Lydia. he's a...janitor i suppose? its his job to keep the ship and common area clean. he's super antisocial but enjoys speaking to kirinda while cleaning because it's less stressful than talking face to face with a living person. He falls HARD for that robot and their relationship begins before kirinda gets his physical body back but cabbage certainly enjoys the goofball regardless of form

My One Piece self insert is Karma! He's shipped with Law and sometimes the heart pirates in general as a polyship. Hes the user of the ryu ryu no mi model chameleon. He joined the crew a little after Sabaody after stowing away. He's kind of a menace but hes their menace. hes really bad at his job because he doesn't have the skills to utilize his fruits powers correctly. Law unfortunately sympathizes with them having childhoods that parallel at points. I do not have a self insert that i ship with Deuce. I have delusions about being Ace and we were partners

My GoBB self insert is named Eddie! Theyre an anteater who was made to work with disabled children and theyre shipped with Banban! I hope that doesnt sound weird I was in and out of sped classes as a kid so I wanted to reflect that.

My Kamen Rider self insert is Jules! They're shipped with Kaito and are a member of team baron. They dont really have any lore yet except for hardcore yearning lol. Might make them a rider too?

My Supernatural self insert is Voltaire!!! Hes shipped with Rowena hes a nachzehrer and certified menace. His ass should be dead but free will keep him alive bc hes Rowenas little play thang and keeps her slightly in line. Not by much. His heads so empty only thoughts of his pack and beautiful older women

My Bugsnax self insert is Sunnie Cuteloop theyre a magician! They heart Shelda we love faking magic. Two dif kinds of magic but you know.

My Pokemon self insert is currently unnamed and shipped with Olympia! They're also a magician I swear im not unoriginal I just do magic irl. They're the child of Hocus from the Oblivia region but moved to Kalos to pursue their career. They want to separate from their father and aim to be a better magician than he ever was.

My Invader Zim self insert is Tiere Ley a vortian scientist. They've been with Lard Nar since before the war but didn't officially get together till the Resisty was formed.

[sparkboyproductions]

Olympic Sentai Goldranger ( オリンピック戦隊ゴールドレンジャー)

My own created Super Sentai/ Power Ranger team all based on different famous sports in the Olympic Games. Created way back in 2012. The rangers are called the Goldrangers because they represent the gold medal won by many athletes the world over and gold is the best medal to earn.

Red Gold (レッドゴールド): The red ranger representing martial arts such as taekwondo or judo. (M)

Blue Gold (ブルーゴールド): the blue ranger representing swimming. (M)

Yellow Gold (イエローゴールド): the yellow ranger representing cycling. (M)

White Gold (白金): the white ranger representing athletics. (F)

Pink Gold (ピンクゴールド): the pink ranger representing gymnastics. (F)

Black Gold (黒金): the black ranger representing fencing. (M)

and finally Green Gold (グリーンゴールド): the green ranger representing ball games such as basketball or volleyball. (M)

The rangers all join forces to fight the Menace Empire, a group of monsters and droids who use cheating like tactics in their attempt to conquer earth and the universe.

[swedesinstockholm]

7 mars

hier soir devant newport beach je me disais qu'ils avaient jamais l'air d'avoir froid aux mains, on les voit jamais assis sur le canapé avec leurs mains glissées entre leurs cuisses ou sous le plaid pour les réchauffer. est-ce que j'aurais jamais froid aux mains moi non plus si je vivais en californie? je sais que c'est une série pour ados des années 2000 tout sauf réaliste mais c'est vertigineux quand on compare leur quotidien au mien, de l'autre côté du globe, avec les mains gelées neuf mois sur douze. parfois quand je descends les escaliers, les mêmes depuis que je suis petite, je compare ma vie à celle de kristen stewart aussi. je sais que c'est pas comparable mais en même temps on est toutes les deux nées en 1990 sur la même planète.

j'ai décidé de pas aller à la mer avec maman pour pâques pour pouvoir remonter sur la scène de la maison poème, mais d'abord je voulais être sûre que m. y serait parce que je veux plus rester seule. le weekend dernier je suis restée seule pendant deux jours et c'était déjà assez pour me faire dérailler. je devais aller à un concert aux rotondes et puis j'ai changé d'avis et je devais aller à la soirée open mic de c. et de ses copains slammeurs à belval mais j'ai été découragée par 1. les transports pas directs 2. la pluie 3. la nuit. alors je suis restée sur le canapé et j'ai regardé newport beach puis the voice avec un sentiment de culpabilité qui me rongeait l'estomac. j'ai menti à c. alors que j'aurais simplement pu lui dire que je souffre de... je sais pas, une affliction mystérieuse qui m'empêche de sortir de chez moi le soir.

je regardais les stories de f. au ski avec sa copine et son copain et les stories de s. à son weekend de bachelorette à paris auquel j'ai pas été invitée alors qu'y avait toutes ses autres copines luxembourgeoises et je me sentais seule et abandonnée. le meilleur moment du weekend c'était mon cours de luxembourgeois du dimanche matin avec mon élève sympa qui m'a tenu compagnie pendant une heure. je lui ai fait lire un texte sur les voyages et je lui ai demandé si elle voyageait beaucoup et elle a dit oui j'adore aller dans des hôtels all inclusive avec une piscine et des bons cocktails sans une once d'embarras et puis elle m'a raconté ses vacances en turquie et à dubaï et j'oublie tout le temps que ça existe en vrai des gens comme ça.

j'ai réussi à sortir de la maison ce soir pour aller à la soirée openscreen parce qu'ils projetaient mon film. ça allait parce que le casino c'est pas loin mais je crois que j'aurais préféré ne pas y aller. je suis partie avant la fin parce qu'ils m'ont même pas invitée sur scène pour le q&a, bon ils me connaissaient pas et j'ai rien dit donc c'est normal, mais de toute façon j'avais aucune envie de me retrouver assise parmi les réalisateur.ices avec un micro à la main pour me présenter et parler de mon film qui m'a foutu la honte, j'ai cringé du début à la fin c'était un cauchemar, plus jamais j'assiste à la projection publique d'un de mes films, de toute façon c'est fini je fais plus de films, j'ai enfin réalisé que j'étais nulle. le son était un désastre, on entendait tous les défauts que j'entends pas moi sur mon ordi, tout était désastreux, même la structure, la cohérence tient à un fil, je laisse pas le temps au texte de respirer, tout s'enchaine trop vite, j'arrive pas à croire que j'aie envoyé ça à austin et daeja et qu'ils continuent à me dire qu'ils adorent mes films, what the heck, arrêtez d'être gentils comme ça. à partir de maintenant je reste concentrée sur ce que je sais faire. j'ai vu une photo du nouveau numéro de sabir trônant sur une étagère à la librairie tropismes et on voit mon nom pile milieu sur la couverture et j'en pouvais plus de fierté de me voir en vente chez tropismes, avec mon texte qui parle de quand j'étais vendeuse en librairie en plus.

mais le pire en fait c'était que tout le monde présentait des films super engagés avec des sujets graves comme les violences domestiques, le racisme, des immigrés qui racontent leur relation au luxembourg, etc, et moi j'étais au milieu à me plaindre de ma petite vie parce que ça fait cinq ans que j'ai pas pris l'avion avec mon rêve américain à la con et ma poétique de l'espace, GROW UP. je me sentais en dessous de tout avec ma vie enveloppée de papier bulle.

en rentrant je marchais vite pour arriver avant que maman rentre du resto et se rende compte que j'étais pas là et me demande où j'étais. je lui ai rien dit de la soirée ni de mon film, je sais pas pourquoi. je crois que j'avais peur qu'elle veuille venir avec moi (je rêve lol) et j'avais vraiment pas envie qu'elle voie mon film parce que j'y parle beaucoup de mon père. et donc pendant que je me dépêchais de remonter la rue je pensais à la pianiste d'elfriede jelinek que je suis en train de lire, quand erika kohut rentre chez elle dès que ses cours de musique sont terminés à la fin de la journée pour retrouver sa mère, parce que sinon elle va lui poser des questions et la faire chier. mais elle a envie de rentrer à la maison, la maison a un attrait sur elle, l'attrait chaud et confortable de la routine et de la télé et de la soirée passée avec sa mère. ce livre est terrifiant. quand je l'ai pris à la bibliothèque et que j'ai lu la première phrase du quatrième de couverture ("elle ne boit pas, ne fume pas, couche encore à 36 ans dans le lit maternel et aime bien rester chez elle") j'ai été prise d'un petit rire nerveux tirant sur la panique au milieu du rayon.