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i'm desperate for a messy sydney sweeney fc to 1x1 with on discord hmu
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He couldn't very well follow her. The guards wouldn't have liked that, and she knew it, so he assumed she meant he needed to stop her with his words. Miles knew he wasn't capable of that. He was too stubborn, and more importantly, he didn't believe a word she said. He'd grown up watching the on-again-off-again relationship between his parents, and over time he began to expect women to come back to him... even if he had to beg them a little bit. If she wanted to leave, he'd just deal with the consequences later. "Tell my baby I love her," he said flatly. Miles had a feeling she wouldn't deliver the message, and it made him angry, but he couldn't control her from behind bars. He'd just have to wait until he was a free man again.
kiki wanted more, more love. love that she didn't feel as though she were getting from miles. their conversations seemed to go like this more times than not. she stared at him for a moment, not thrilled by the words that slipped out of his mouth but really, she hadn't enjoyed anything he said during this meeting. "if you let me walk out this door, i'm not coming back. i mean it this time." she didn't know why she was still standing there but she was obviously hoping for too much."
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"I'm slut shaming you? What the fuck is that?" he asked, scoffing as the words came out. "What, I'm shaming you for being a slut? Is that something we can't do anymore?" he resisted the urge to laugh. "Yeah, you're being a slut. Am I supposed to just let you do it? Fuck that," he told her. The last two words came out a lot harsher than the others. Miles leaned back in his seat, and reached into his back pocket to get a cigarette. Then he lit, and exhaled a cloud of smoke, directing it upward so it wouldn't float into her face. "The fact you feel entitled to be mad at me right now is what's fucking funny. You got a lot of fucking nerve."
Of course he was angry and she wished she had just denied it. She didn't even want to know how he had found out. "You did have a choice!" Sofia snapped, not wanting to raised her voice because no doubt everyone would end up staring at them. She didn't want to cause a scene. "You knew what you were doing, you knew you could have gotten caught. You're allowed to end up in prison because you were trying to 'provide' for your family by breaking the law, yet I'm the bad guy here? I'm trying my best, do you have any idea how fucking hard it is? To pay the bills, to put her in to kindergarten, to make sure she has everything. I'm trying my best, and you slut shaming me isn't going to help."
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"Fuckin' dramatic," he mumbled as he watched her standing in front of him, waiting for her to leave like she said she would. She always had to have the last word, which he figured he'd let her have this time, but that didn't mean he thought she was right about any of this. It stung to hear how little she thought of him as a father, but he couldn't prove otherwise in the position he was in either. He'd just have to bide his time, and prove it when he was out. "Go on, go find someone else then," he nodded his head toward the door as he spoke. "Since you deserve so much better."
the man in front of her was truly infuriating. what she saw in him was a mystery to her but she assumed that the reason she felt the way she did about him was because he was her first everything. that meant something to her, regardless of the way he treated her. rolling her eyes at his words, she scoffed. "so, you'll probably just write her off then. she'll be just like me. so there's no use in either of us coming to see you or contacting you. i mean, after all, i'm a whore right?" she threw his words back at him. "like i said before she won't know what i do to support her. she doesn't have to know and i sure as hell hope she grows up to know better than to fall in love with a guy who treats her the way you treat me."
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"What do you want from me, Sofia? You think I wanna be here and not there?" he asked. "I'm not some fucking deadbeat, okay. I'm serving my fucking time, and when I get out, I'll make it up to her." He knew he was telling the truth about that. Despite his shortcomings, he loved his daughter, and he felt like he wanted what was best for her... even though sometimes it seemed like he didn't know what that was. "Fuck you, Sof, that's fucking low of you to act like I'd rather be here, or like I'm doing this just to avoid her. I don't have a fucking choice," he snapped.
Sofia didn't know why she had told him in the first place, maybe because she was nervous he would find out through someone else. "But yet her knowing her dad's in prison, that's okay?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, she knew this could backfire at her. But she was making money, she wasn't doing anything overly sexual. He was making it out as though she was fucking men on street corners for money. "At least I thought my decision through, I know that one day she'll ask. I'm still the parent that's there for her, who's making sure she has everything she needs. She's fed, she's clothed, she can have presents on her birthday and christmas. What are you doing for that? What are you doing to help raise our daughter?"
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"An apology for what?" he asked, noticing the way she seemed to shift in her seat like she planned to leave. It bothered him that he couldn't make her stay. He couldn't really do anything from the position he was in, and if he really thought about it, that was what angered him the most. He'd put himself in this position too, so he couldn't be angry with her for it... but he was stubborn and he'd probably find away. "Leave then. Go fuck up our daughter," he decided, trying to take back his power by telling her to do what she intended. He sat back in his seat and watched her gathering her things. Miles liked to think she'd come crawling back, but he never could be sure about that while he was locked up. He'd just have to wait and see. "Don't blame me if she grows up and starts doing the exact same shit you do."
kiki was tired of him talking to her like that over and over again. this wasn't how a relationship was supposed to be but then again, she knew everything wasn't a fairytale. regardless of that, she couldn't keep letting this happen. she couldn't keep letting him take jabs at her. "no, miles. i'm not going to sit down. you can't control me." she replied, "i deserve an apology if you expect me to stay." and even so, she doubted he'd give her one and so, she shifted to reach down beside her chair and grab her bag. their relationship was difficult and she wasn't the perfect partner either. she knew her decision to start an only fans wasn't fair and maybe she'd go back on it but she didn't know what else to do. she'd exhausted all possible choices.
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"Well... I may be lucky"—he said as he pulled away from her, only so he could resume his duties—"'cause you ain't got no business wasting all that time waiting on me." Jack felt like he could speak to her the way he used to, falling into his version of banter, which was almost always littered with unsolicited advice, and petty directives. If he really thought about it, he wouldn't have wanted her if she were the type of girl to take every bit of it seriously. He grabbed the bucket, and took a few strides in her direction. Then he ducked low enough to steal a quick kiss on her lips. "Now come on, help me feed these damn chickens," he cussed again, this time not giving it much thought. If she didn't chastise him for it, his mother surely would. Jack walked across the barn to the big opening in front, directly across from the hen house. He always took big strides, because his legs were so much longer than everyone else's, but he only ever noticed if he was walking next to a woman. He'd find himself having to slow to what felt like a creep to him, just so she could briskly walk at his side... otherwise she'd be running to keep up.
He thought twice, then turned around. Jack leaned to one side so he could set the bucket down again, then he retraced his steps until he was in front of her again. His hands took her head, and he lowered himself plenty so he could kiss her... this time the right way. A simple peck didn't feel like enough for them right now. He'd been wanting this kiss for six years now, and he was going to get it.
she struggles to comprehend how he could welcome her back into his life so readily, but she has no intention of rejecting it. the past is unchangeable, and she cannot undo her mistakes even if she desired to. so why remain enslaved to her regrets when she can channel her energy into the present instead? "you could still shed a few tears if you wanted." she jokes, before wiping away the remnants of moisture on her cheeks with a smile. it's time to release the burden of guilt she has been carrying. they wasted years apart, and now she is determined to shape their future chapters into ones filled with happiness. of course, perfection is an illusion, but she has a strong belief that they will be alright as long as they stand by each other's side. "you should have." she agrees with a nod. even though his mother has always been the type to mind her own business — a cherished rarity in a town teeming with nosy residents, as is often the case in small mundane towns like theirs — she would have undoubtedly noticed if something as significant as a wedding had occurred. "she'd know i definitely wasn't married." aurora laughs, finding the idea absurd given that the few dates she had been on all led to dead ends. aware that her heart belonged elsewhere, aurora wasn't the type to waste someone else's time and would swiftly end things before the other person invested more of their time and energy. "i would've minded," she pauses, only for the sake of teasing him. " — if you'd said otherwise." she has no right to blame him if his feelings have changed after the passing years, but before complete acceptance settles in, sadness will seize her first. she gazes into his eyes and it feels almost surreal to hear those words from him again. "i still love you too."
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"Yeah, it wasn't from fighting this time," he admitted, laughing slightly as he spoke. His eyes swept over her, and he leaned back against the wall of the hospital. "Those scrubs actually comfortable? I always thought it looked like you're wearing pajamas to work," he included, changing the subject as a way to distract himself from why he was there. He didn't want Josh to bring him to the hospital, and he definitely didn't like that Josh seemed to disappear now that he was here, but he couldn't do anything about that now. "Yeah, sure," he refocused his thoughts as he leaned forward again, tilting his head and wincing at the way the shifting of the nerves in his neck seemed to make the pain feel worse. "I mean, I was fighting, but I was on my way home. The sore loser jumped me. Fucking prick," he rambled, giving the same recount he'd given the social worker. "Pretty sure he pistol whipped me or something, because this shit fucking hurts," he explained. Miles knew where he was, and he knew what he was saying, so he almost felt guilty for talking about his pain. The woman in the bed beside him had been begging for Dilaudid ever since he'd arrived, and she certainly wouldn't get it, because she always came looking for it. There was no chance he'd get anything for pain management either, but he wasn't asking.
Glancing up from the computer to the social worker in front of her, Lissa let out a small laugh before glancing at her coworker. "This is the one. He's.. something else." The blonde confirmed and looked back at the social worker with a nod as she spoke. "I will. You know he's going to say no but I'll ask. Maybe this time will be lucky number 9." Lissa let out a laugh. She wasn't hopeful. It was always the same routine with them and there was more chance of winning the lottery. After finishing what she was doing, she headed over to Miles' bed with a polite smile. "Miles. We have to stop meeting like this." They'd seen each other enough times that the usual pleasantries of introducing herself were pointless. "As always my name is Elizabeth. You may call me Lissa." She hated saying it but her real name sounded more professional, or so her seniors told her. "I hear you have a head wound. May I take a look?
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"'course I was," he mumbled. Then he slowly pulled away from her, only so he could look in her eyes. "You see me crying 'bout it now? I ain't." Jack didn't think it made any sense for him to hold a grudge... especially not now. He'd decided he could live with a broken heart, but he knew better than to be bitter about it. There were too many other things he felt bitter about. He'd seen, and done, and lost too much since he'd been gone. The least he could do was lose her too. He didn't go looking for her, because he wasn't the kind of man to make a fool out of himself. If she didn't write him, it was because she didn't want to hear from him, and because she didn't want to be heard. The fact she wasn't married was a big surprise to him, because he was certain at this point that she had a husband, and babies, and a new life that wouldn't involve him. In fact it felt strange to have to try and rewrite all of that now... to undo an assumption he'd held true for almost five years.
"I never asked ma about you... maybe I should have," he said, feeling a little stupid now. His mother wasn't the least bit nosy, and didn't keep up with happenings around town. She kept to herself, in her house, and kept at the chickens and the garden. She'd always been that way, so there was a chance that even if he had asked, she wouldn't have known. "Or sis," he continued, feeling that would have been a more sensible source of information. "You know my sister's in her own world over there though," he resisted a laugh, knowing how the young woman had a tendency to make things about herself. "I missed you too," he spoke softly as he touched both sides of her face, looking in her eyes for the first time in such a long time. "I still love you," he confessed. "Hope you don't mind."
"not even once?" aurora wonders if she shouldn't have asked the question at all, regretting it as soon as the words leave her mouth. perhaps it's better for her to remain oblivious. if he was angry with her before, he certainly doesn't seem to hold any resentment now. perhaps the joy of their reunion has washed away those unpleasant feelings, at least for the moment. "i thought you might be too furious to see me," she admits, recognizing that it's unfair for her to hope he would be the one to break the ice when she's the one responsible for creating this divide, even if unintentionally. the fact remains that harm has been done, even if he chooses not to hold grudges. she has resolved to make things right, and coming here was the first step, even though she had no idea what to expect. she feels fortunate that things haven't taken a turn for the worse, but rather for the better. "i'm not crying," she tries to deny it, her futile attempt met with the sound of her chuckle echoing his laughter. but if she is indeed shedding tears, they are tears of happiness, and she's more than content with that. as she relaxes in his tight embrace, the echoes of her worries fade away, and his presence grounds her. perhaps, no matter how much they have both changed, parts of their souls will always recognise each other anywhere. "i've missed you," she admits, her voice filled with longing, even for his silly laughter, his foolish jokes, and the protective coldness he wears as a shield before his facade cracks. "i've missed you so much."
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Miles showed his teeth in a laugh when she mentioned her elaborate plan to keep his whereabouts a secret from their daughter. He remembered visiting his own father in prison lots of times, and he hated his father, but he still made the time to see him from time to time. Now that he was the one behind bars, he never got visits from family other than Kiki, so to him this was important. Sure he was unkind when he spoke to her, but he felt like he had reason to be. This was the mother of his little girl, and he hated the thought of anyone looking at his little girl the way he looked at other women... so Kiki's new financial arrangement just wasn't acceptable to him, and it never would be. "Sit down," he said firmly, like he was talking to a child who was throwing a tantrum. There was a chance she wouldn't, but it was worth a try.
"locked up. she's going to wonder why her dad can't come home with her or why you have to stay here. i don't know how to explain that to her. so, for right now, you're on vacation until i can find a better way to tell her." kiki leaned her head back, eyes closed as he went off yet again and she didn't know why she was still sitting here listening to it. "i never said i was ashamed of you-" she stopped, head snapping in his direction and pushing herself up from her seat. "you know what? i'm done. with this. with us. all of it. i'm not doing this with you anymore. this isn't how our visitation should go but it seems to be the same fucking thing every time and i'm tired of sitting here while you shit on me for everything." hot tears of frustration finally made an appearance as she glared down at him. "don't look for me next time visitation comes around because i can promise you, i won't be back."
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closed starter for @cruelsummerx
Twenty-six year old white male presented to the ER accompanied by friend Josh who reports patient sustained posterior head injury. Per Josh, patient was 'jumped' on his way home from work. Triage nurse Tiffany observed head wound which does not appear to be severe. Triage nurse provided patient with ice pack. Patient reports he has visited this ER eight times in the last two years for 'street fighting'. Patient has scattering of bruises and mild lacerations across his face at varying levels of healing. No intervention was needed. Patient does not report history of substance abuse, and appears alert and oriented times four at this time. Patient was advised to monitor head wound, and triage nurse educated on symptoms of a concussion, and intracranial hematoma. Patient was educated on right to complete a police report, but refused. Patient does not currently meet criteria for general inpatient level of care. Patient declines further intervention.
"I'm fucking fine. I'm alright," Miles snapped at the social worker. "No, I don't wanna file a police report. I said I'm fine." He was sitting on a hospital bed in the hallway of the Emergency Room. They were packed tonight, and only minutes away from a shift change. The social worker was scribbling things down on a sheet of paper, and asking him the same questions the triage nurse had asked only moments ago. He was used to it by now, because this wasn't even his first visit, and it probably wouldn't be his last. All of his chart entries were much the same, so the social worker had a good understanding of how this would go. She finished her list of questions, and slowly walked toward the nurse's station.
"He's all yours," the social worker said to Lissa.
Another nurse laughed. "This is the one who always hits on you, right?"
"Ask him if he wants a CT scan," the social worker continued. "Tiffany forgot to ask, and we need that documented."
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She didn't understand what it was like to be so far from home; how he would have settled for a weather report, or petty gossip about someone he hardly knew. He would have settled for seeing 'I love you' on the back of some sales receipt for flour and corn, and he would have tucked it in his pocket only to pull it out as often as he could. He would have done anything to touch a lipstick stain on the edge of an envelope, or find one of her hairs in the creases of the paper. Her hair seemed to stick to everything by mistake. He would have even accepted sad news if that meant he could see the stains of her tears on the paper, because even feeling grief on her behalf would have been a pleasure. Despite what he knew, there was no way for him to transfer that understanding to her, and even if he knew how, he wouldn't have dared. He couldn't imagine a reality in which she knew what that felt like. His father always told him never to punish the qualities he wanted in a wife, so no matter how it may have frustrated him, he felt a duty to protect her ignorance.
"Don't cry." His words were gentle as he pressed his thumbs against her cheeks. "Don't cry, Rory, I ain't mad at you," he said as he took her in his arms again, this time tighter. Jack smiled, even laughing a little at the sweet reunion. He didn't really care if she cried either. She could cry buckets against his old shirt if she wanted to. "I'm here now."
a breath, unbeknownst to her, escapes her lips as he pulls her into his embrace. the familiar warmth washes over her, soothing an ache that has long been numbed but never truly healed. in her darkest moments, she had convinced herself that she would never experience this embrace again. "i told you, i was overwhelmed by everything that's been happening." she has never voiced this admission to anyone, reluctant to burden others when she knows there are those who suffer far more than she does. "maybe i was afraid you would disappear like arthur did." maybe it would have made more sense for her to write more, if that was her concern. however, in hindsight, her lack of letters allows her to shoulder the blame for their severed communication, rather than attributing it to an unfortunate circumstance on his end. it may not make much sense in retrospect, but grief seldom leaves one in a state of utmost reason. her eyes well up against her will, and she hastily blinks, attempting to conceal the tears. "and i didn't have a single good thing to write to you about." she didn't want to burden him with news of the passing of the ones he knows and loves, her worries about her brother, or her woes with her mother.
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Her disposition never surprised him, even now. He always thought he'd be arguing with her until the day he died, and he'd grown to accept that part of her such a long time ago that this show of stubbornness barely made him flinch. He got to his feet again, leaving the bucket behind. Then he wiped his mouth with his hand, probably to hide a smile. Jack walked across the dirt floor, and raised his hand just enough so he could take hers. Then he took her neck with his other arm, and pulled her in close.
"No, that wouldn't have made me happy," he assured her. She'd hear the words coming from his chest. His arms felt so empty for so long, and he hadn't even realized it until now. She was warm, and she was soft, and she smelled of something sweet... but he didn't hold that position for too long. "Rory, why'd you stop writing me?" he asked. As he pulled away from her, his hands found her cheeks. "Were you scared I wouldn't come home?"
if she were bolder, she would acknowledge the sheer relief she sees in his eyes for what it is. however, there is a lingering doubt that she may not know him as well as she used to, however slim that possibility may be. it remains a fact that they have been apart for years, and countless things could have changed. in fact, a million things have changed. not only the dynamics between them, but also the world they inhabit. rarely is anyone the same after a war as tumultuous as the one they’ve barely survived, nor is she the same cheery girl he once knew her to be. she clenches her lips, her hands curling into fists that crease the fabric of her dress as she gathers her thoughts. without great enthusiasm or much hope, she has gone on occasional dates here and there, some without prior awareness of their assumed romantic nature, but none of them have clicked. it is beyond her control who she falls for, and more often than not, she is unsure of what her heart desires. but can anyone truly claim to know? "would it be foolish if i was?" she asks, aware that her question holds little meaning considering that his previous reaction has already conveyed more than enough. perhaps he is right. maybe the rational course of action would have been to move on long ago. if she has resolved to uphold her end of their promise, she has not done enough to fully fulfil her part. "would it make you happy if i told you i was married?" her gaze locks with his, holding it like a dare. he would have to say no, wouldn't he?
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"See me like what?" he bit. His arms crossed over his chest as he pressed his shoulder blades against the back of his chair. His heel pressed against the concrete floor as the front legs of his chair tipped an inch or more off the ground. "I stole a car, Kiki. I wasn't fucking murdering hookers, or selling fentanyl or some shit," he rolled his eyes. "You act like I can't go within a hundred feet of a middle school." Miles tried to resist a grin at his own joke, which she probably wouldn't find funny. "Just because you're ashamed of me doesn't mean my daughter is, and I don't need you in her ear telling her she should be either. Fuck that. If anything she should be ashamed of your fucking choices."
a sigh of frustration managed to slip past her lips because it never failed that the two of them would end up in an argument. it happened nearly every time the woman came to see him. "i didn't say that. i just don't know why you have to be such an asshole to me every time i'm here. you know when people say distance makes the heart grow fonder? i'm still waiting for that from you." she huffed out and leaned back in her chair. she could feel the tears of agitation building up in her eyes but she refused to allow the man in front of her to see that he got to her in that way, so she looked away from him. "do you really want your daughter to see you like this? in here of all places?"
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He felt his shoulders sink in relief when she gave him her answer. It had been six years since he'd seen her last, and a little over four years since he got that final letter, so he was put in the heart wrenching position of letting her go... at least in the practical sense. She would be someone else's bride, and he would eventually find another, although he never felt certain that he would. Of course he tried his best. Jack was a private man, so he'd take his indiscretions to the grave, but he'd be lying to himself if he thought that his affairs weren't some bleak effort to muster up the same feelings he had for her. But those French whores seemed empty behind the eyes, and that sweet nurse in Belgium deserved a man who would adore her in a way he knew he couldn't. Plenty of his friends brought girls home, even German girls, and the thought crossed his mind every time he saw a pair of pretty eyes, or heard a soft, feminine laugh... but he just couldn't. Jack almost smiled, but his relief was replaced by another more responsible sort of feeling. He frowned. His back straitened up so that he looked tall, even while sitting.
"Don't you dare say you was waitin' on me," he warned her. The tone of his voice dropped half an octave. Then he flung his arm out at his side, like he was gesturing to another time or place. "I coulda been dead, and then what? You waste yourself waitin' on me?" he shook his head as he spoke. "You think I'd've wanted that? Goddamn it Aurora," he caught himself, and he bit his tongue. His eyes squeezed shut. He'd have to stop cussing now that he was home again, and his mother had already chastised him for using the name of God in his anger.
aurora watches as he takes a seat on the bench, quietly wondering if she should settle down next to him but opts to remain where she is in the end. it is as true metaphorically as it is literally, her being uncertain where she stands amidst all of this. she hasn’t figured out what to say to him before she embarks on her journey here, save for a vague idea of an apology that she finds necessary. "i'm sorry." she wonders if she sounds like a broken record by now, but she isn't sure what else is there to be said. even though she has heard of the catastrophes that come with war, he's the one who witnessed it with his own eyes and survived despite the chaos and dreariness. the letters from home are the least the ones back home can do to help, even in their insignificant way, but she fails even that. "it must be terribly lonely." but loneliness is perhaps the least of a soldier's worries when death looms near — not that she would know. when she is lost to her thoughts of guilt, his following question catches her entirely off guard. "married?" she repeats, her eyes widen as she stands flustered. "no, i didn’t — of course i'm not — " she shakes her head, though perhaps she cannot blame him for jumping to that conclusion when he hasn't heard from her for so long. but, really? "i'm not seeing anybody."
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"Here we go," his mutterings intermingled with her complaints. Miles reached into his back pocket, and grabbed a cigarette. By the time she was through, he was finished lighting up. "I know. You're such a victim, and I'm such a jerk," he mocked her. Miles wasn't the least bit sensitive of her feelings, which shouldn't have come as a surprise to her, because most of the time his arrogance played a key role in determining the outcomes of his relationships. "You could have let me see her." He gestured around the room to some of the other inmates. "Half the women in here bring their kids."
she hated feeling like everything she did was wrong and that she had to constantly defend each move she made. "she's with my mom, as she is whenever i work but i can't leave her with my mom 24/7. my mom has to work too." she shifted, pushing her chair back and shaking her head at him. "i'm so sick of this. it's like you think i'm incapable of being a mom and you don't trust the decisions i make to provide for her. if you have such a low opinion of me, why the hell are you with me? better yet, why did you have a child with me?"
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