sweetpitch

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WIZARD WRAPPED

You casted 1,039,627 spells this year

You pondered your orb for 985 hours

You targeted 109 spells at someone other than yourself - that’s in the top 6% of wizards!

You gained 5 familiars

Your favorite focus for spellcasting this year was a staff

Your cup size is H

Your most cast spell was Spontaneous Snack Generation and you used it 576 times this year.

Your most summoned object was Ketamine Ape at 69 summons

You trapped someone within an amulet for 10,000 years

You were unwittingly haunted by the evil skull twice

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Pornbots are so annoying like I’m not gonna fall for this I’m not an idiot I know sex isn’t real and its just something made up for destiel fanfiction

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IVE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR TO POST THIS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

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as a bi person I just have to say that the real emphasis they put on nick discovering and labeling his bisexuality had me in literal tears at 3 am. especially because at no point did anyone, especially charlie, question or criticize the idea of him being bisexual (a really unfortunate trope). media loves to either ignore or demonize us so this was just so refreshing and needed.

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so much love for people with verbal stims, echolalia, who repeat sounds or make their own, who are mumbling or singing or making noises to themselves all the time when they feel safe,

<3<3<3<3 giving all of u a forehead kiss

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My hot take is that actually food allergies are a disability and more people need to realize that. The amount of research people with food allergies have to do when they want to go visit places but arent sure if they’ll have access to any food there is insane. Allergy friendly food is almost ALWAYS incredibly expensive in stores bc of all those fucking fad diets that like yoga instructors and middle age soccer moms make popular. And on top of the price, it is so hard to FIND! Almost evrry grocery store ive been to has a tiny ass allergy section that is almost always near empty. Plus what about people who don’t have the money to pay 10$ for a loaf of bread? You go to starbucks and non-dairy milks are like 70 cents extra? People are definitely out there buying and eating stuff that is destroying their digestive systems because they have no other choice. I am begging people to stop pretending that catering to people’s food allergies is elitist and not worth is. We need to make these options openly available.

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God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

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The real mystery of Stardew Valley is WHO is harassing Linus? He's got all this dialogue about how people trash his tent and throw rocks at him . . . SOMEONE in this valley needs their ass kicked and I am ready and able

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you’ve been here before, haven’t you?

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“Never let the memories of the way things were, blind you from seeing the reality of the way things are.”

— Unknown

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🤣🤣🤣🤣 have you all seen this??

Watch out Anthony looks like you have some competition for Captain America 4?? 🤣🤣🤣

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Pitch: Muppet Lord of the Rings. Miss Piggy as Eowyn. Imagine her just throwing herself at a human man playing Aragorn. Imagine her defeating the Witch-King of Angmar by going “HI-YA!” and karate chopping him.

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Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”

and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”

”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”

”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”

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“lawful good water biscuit”

The op is on Tumblr: @glitterwarpaint.

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this is entrapment

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This will never NOT be funny