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Sometimes i wish i had a pen pal.
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one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.
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Every time I see the full moon, it always reminds me of the beautiful hadith where the Rasulullaah ﷺ came out on a full moon night. Jabir رضي الله عنه glanced at him (ﷺ), then at the moon, then at him (ﷺ), then the moon and he came to the conclusion that the Rasulullaah ﷺ was more beautiful than the moon.
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"I was happy three days ago. Today I'm depressed. What happened? Nothing. An inner crutch slipped. Some poorly suppressed memory rose to the surface."
— Mihail Sebastian, For Two Thousand Years (trans. Philip Ó Ceallaigh)
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