sweatstainsinwinter

[sweatstainsinwinter]

Day 47 of the gateway tapes

(Wave 2- introduction to focus 12)

Today was went so well!!

Near the start of the video around where I entered focus 10 I could feel this movement all throughout my body. Mainly in my arms. Kinda like when you fill a bowl or a dish with water and then move it about.

After the first 10ish minutes Monroe tells us to go from focus 10 to 12 and ‘beyond the limitations of physical matter’ and at around this time there was kinda this feeling like I was expanding sideways??

The next thing I have to do was practicing going between focus 12 and 10. When I had to go back to focus 10 I could actually feel my self compressing. It was so weird!!

Your meant to do this I think three times in the meditation? I only did it once though, because there’s a long pause after you go back into focus 10 and I felt my mind wandering and after a while I fell into a very light sleep.

Day 48 ✅

Day 49 ✅

Day 50 ✅

Day 51 ✅

Day 52 ✅

Day 53 - 55 ✅

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Day 45 of the gateway tapes

(Wave 2- introduction to focus 12)

Ngl I haven’t really been having much luck with focus 12. I’m finding it really hard to disconnect from my physical body/ project my consciousness.

Anyway today before I went to sleep I decided to play Theta waves and try to get to focus 12 myself without Monroes guidance.

The whole thing took 33 minutes (which was honestly so surprising it felt like double the amount of time)

I went through phases where I felt like I was in focus 10 to this weird hollow feeling? Like I was just a shell with nothing inside, no organs or anything.

The weirdest thing I felt was this feeling of a wave washing over me, but it only happened once 😔

Overall I think it was a success tho!! I feel way more confident about reaching f12 sometime soon.

Day 46: I did wave 6 today. I know it’s a massive jump but I saw this person on Reddit say it’s meant to help with focus 12. And it kinda did?? I had to visualise a second body and I actually felt like I had a second body but only in my left arm?? Anyway yeah I’m glad I tried it :) I also did advanced focus 10 just as a refresher.

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Day 43 of the gateway tapes

Ok I need to stop saying that I click out because Im manifesting it into existence atp 😨

Day 44: ✅

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I ate some of the disinfectant I use to clean my mouses cage :/

[sweatstainsinwinter]

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The neurological reason you "can't" persist

This is a sequel post to my brain rot post.

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You are quite literally neurologically more dedicated to your doubts than you are to your desire.

Your subconscious doesn't care what you consciously value it thinks that whatever you're doing repeatedly is what is important to you. The more you do something the more your brain will push you to continue doing it.

Every time you pick avoidance over doing the damn thing your subconscious believes that means avoidance is more important/valuable to you. If you are pulled to avoid doing the work it is because your brain values giving into the 3D more than it values persistence.

Every time you choose something else over persistence you are telling your brain it matters less to you. Every time you stop persisting it reinforces the subconscious process that believes giving in means more to you than continuing.

You repeatedly choose to engage with your doubts/choose to give into the old story, so your brain literally thinks you value the old story more.

That is why the old story becomes quite literally habitual. Your subconscious doesn't have an opinion, it doesn't know that what you're repeating isn't what you want because it thinks if you're doing it repeatedly you want it.

This is why you feel an intense pull from your opposing thoughts. Your subconscious thinks that's what you want, it's trying to motivate you to return to your negative thought cycles.

On the flip side, the more you do the work the more your brain will push you to continue doing the work.

If persisting matters to you, treat it like it matters and your brain will too. Actively choose it. If you're procrastinating on your methods, actively choose them over the part of your brain trying to distract you.

Contributing factors (brainrot)

Scientifically speaking your brain REQUIRES dopamine to create a sustained effort. You actually have a daily reserve of dopamine and highly dopaminergic tasks actually spend your dopamine

So if the first thing you do is blast your brain with dopamine (opening your phone first thing in the morning) that means you have less dopamine to spend on tasks.

Persistence is a sustained effort. If you don't have dopamine to spend you will undoubtedly struggle to motivate yourself to continue regardless of the potential rewards.

People aren't telling you to get off Tumblr just because "phone bad manifestation good" but because the more dopamine you pour into your phone the less you'll have to spend on tasks that require sustained effort.

End

This post is not to give you an excuse to give up. It's to tell you that if you don't start consciously choosing to work towards it your brain will reinforce that habit to hell and back.

Keep. Fucking. Going.

Keep doing the work.

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[sweatstainsinwinter]

Day 39 of the gateway tapes

IM FINALLY ON F12. I’m tryna go in with no expectations so I have no idea what it’s meant to feel like but ik I didn’t get there today 😔 (I just got to f10 then fell asleep)

Day 40: ok so today it kinda felt like F10 but deeper?? Like my limbs were heavier and my hands felt heavy on my chest. I did the tape 3 times today but only got this once. The other times I just clicked out

Day 41: ✅

Day 42: The first time he says to get into focus 12 I always manage it but then after that I always end up clicking out 😔

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Day 35 of the gateway tapes

So I tried sleep exploration again.

I managed to reach f10 pretty easily on my own but no luck in having an obe 😞 I feel like I’m NO WHERE close

I looked it up and a lot of people felt the same and said it’s trying to rush an obe too early and that it’s better to skip and try again around wave 3 so I’m gonna do that :)

I also tried tape 6 today but my mind was wondering too much so I I didn’t get very far 😔

Tmr I’m gonna try tape 4 and 6 again

Day 36: So I did tape 4. I can get into focus 10 pretty easily now without having Monroe guide me through it. The only problem is that I have to do it the long way and I can only do it when one of the tapes is playing (idk why I can’t do it when I’m just laying in bed 😭)

Day 37: I did tape 6 today and managed to get into focus 10 twice without guidance!! The first time took me 13 minutes (I did it the long way with the energy conversion box, tuning, etc) and the second time I did it just by imaging the number 10 in a circle and I got there in 6 minutes 🙌🏽

Day 38:✅

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Father and daughter bonding time ft. Deadpool

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Day 28 of the gateway tapes

So today I moved onto wave 1 tape 4

It’s meant to help you release negative emotions. I didn’t realise this before I started. And yk usually I have LOADS of doubts and stuff but I was actually in a good place when I did it today so it wasn’t very effective.

I think it’d be a good tape to do though if you’re having a bad day. Or before shifting, if you have doubts and limiting beliefs.

Day 29: had a bit of a bad day so I tried out this tape again. Didn’t rlly work very well though cuz I fell asleep and then kept forgetting the steps 😨✌🏽

Day 30: I tried tape 5 but I kept falling asleep 😭 Also there’s this big gap half way through tape 5 and I have NO IDEA what I’m meant to do (I think that’s what makes me sleepy. My mind just wanders into sleep)

Day 31: I did tape 5 again and actually got through it!! I think I do the tapes best when I’ve just woken up, since I’m less likely to fall asleep through them. So in the tape you need to leave your body. I think this would be fairly easy if I can just master focus 10 a bit more. I can usually get into it most of the time. I think I’ll practice it a bit more before I try this tape again :)

Also at the end your meant to count to 20 and fall asleep, so I’m not sure when the best time to do this tape would be? If I’m too tired I’d fall asleep before I can leave my body. But then if I’m not tired enough I wouldn’t be able to sleep at the end? Also why do I need to fall asleep in the first place 😭?? Anyway I also did advanced today a bit later and fell asleep

I keep failing recently? Ig it’s a mix of mindset and also me not being able to sleep at night so I’m almost always sleepy during the day 😔

Day 32: got into focus 10 twice

Day 33: Sleep explorations is still rlly hard :(

When I woke up (I fell asleep during) my body felt soo heavy tho

Day 34: HELP I DID SLEEP EXPLORATION AND I CANT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED 😭? (Tbf I am writing this 10ish hours after I did it). Ig it didn’t go well?? Or did I even do sleep exploration? Ik I did two tapes today and one was advanced focus 10 so it makes sense the other one was sleep exploration..? Idk I should write what happened after I finish the tapes and not wait half a day after 😔

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Day 26 of the gateway tapes

So recently I’ve been switching between introduction to F10 and advanced.

And I think I’ve reached F10?? Not today but in general. I think I’ve been mixing up F10 and sleep paralysis 😭

I also might start doing a little meditation before to clear my mind. I keep clicking out/ daydreaming 😞 especially in advanced. There’s so many long breaks and I start to incorporate the swishy noises into day dreams about twd? (I CANT STOP 😭)

I think it’s because I struggle to follow the steps, since it’s a lot of visualisation. And also I’m not 100% clear what I’m meant to be visualising.

Anyway yeah that’s how it’s been going :)

Day 27: I got through it!! And I managed not to click out too much. Every time I started to daydream I kept repeating the number 10 in my head and it worked 💪🏽

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Just watched titanic and am now rethinking how I live my life

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Gubernatorial

This took like 3 days 😭

BASED ON THE POSTER

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Day 19 of the gateway tapes

So I haven’t been making much progress lately, it’s like I’ve started to go backwards. I’ve been clicking out more, loosing focus, falling asleep.

So I’ve decided to move onto the next tape (idk why I just feel like that’ll fix it). Or maybe not move on completely, alternate between the two.

Honestly I’m still not 100% sure what F10 feels like and if I’ve reached it yet. I may be confusing it with sleep paralysis.

So anyway today I did Discovery 1- Advanced focus 10

And it went well for the first time in a few days!! My body felt really really heavy and yeah that’s it tbh but it’s better than it has been :)

Day 20: I had difficulty visualising at first but my body felt really heavy. When I was finished with the tape and was getting up I actually struggled (A LITTLE BIT) with my legs because they felt so heavy.

Day 21: I kept alternating between being able to feel my body or not

Day 22: might of take a little nap? When I woke up my limbs felt really heavy and jy was (kinda) a struggle to get out

Day 23: today wasn’t my day. Tried 3 times and felt nothing 😞

Day 24: I went back to into today! I felt my body floating, which I feel quite a lot better when I try to shift but it was different this time. More like someone was pulling me up. I fell asleep though and when I woke up my limbs were very heavy and stiff. So then straight after I thought I’d do advanced. I got about half way though but nothing was really happening I was just sleepily following the instructions so I stopped.

25 ✅

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Day 13 of the gateway tapes

Soo today I moved onto Discovery 1- Advanced focus 10

IK I haven’t mastered intro to f10 but I kinda wanted to see what the next tape was like. Also there’s some really mixed signals on when you should move on in the tapes. Some people say you should give each one a week and some people say you shouldn’t move on until you master the last one.

I’m gonna stick with intro until I master it but I just wanted to do advanced today since I was curious 😋

ANYWAY

A lot of stuff happened!!!

So my body started to feel heavy within seconds, but noticeably heavier than usual.

And at one point I had to imagine myself floating around in a ball (I’ll update w the right terminology later I can’t remember what he called it rn)

So anyway I interpreted it as my consciousness floating and not my physical body so I imagined a hand peeling my consciousness off my body AND I SWEAR I FELT IT. Not the hand but my torso (?) leaving the rest of my body.

But then I got kinda startled and just visualised my whole body floating instead cuz im a wimp 😞 (I think that’s a big part of why I haven’t shifted yet)

Then I had to visualise something coming out my head and I felt that for a bit too!! It was kinda freaky but cool.

Unfortunately I started clicking out about halfway through. My mind kept wondering and I couldn’t pull it back

The tape is 36 minutes long and all the stuff I’m talking about happened in the first 24.

After that you turn back to waking consciousness and then use the last 12 minutes to go back to F10

I didn’t manage it though and fell asleep (AGAIN 😭 I hope this doesn’t become a habit)

Also for some reason this tape felt wayyy longer than the other two 🤔 like when he said to return to waking consciousness I got up thinking it was done and was so surprised when I said I’d only been there for 24 minutes and that there was another 12 left.

Day 14 ✅ (back to intro)

Day 15 ✅

Day 16- I think I was close? Near the middle I kept getting signs my body was falling asleep (itches and stuff) but I ignored them all (it was torture 😭) and then the feeling just vanished and I couldn’t feel anything at all. But at the end of the meditation I could immediately move afterwards (before that part where he gets us to reawaken our physical body). So idk. Honestly I’m worried my will power isn’t strong enough. I was only in that itchy uncomfortable stage for 15, 20 minutes and it took everything in me not to move.

Day 17 ✅

Day 18 ✅

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The map I made for my fantasy dr

its blurry bc my laptop hates me </3

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RIGHT HERE ☝🏽

dc shifters where are we???

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Day 11 of the discovery tapes

(Discovery 1- Introduction to F10)

TODAY WENT SO WELL!!

So tbh I was kinda spacey throughout the tape and I kept daydreaming and loosing focus, but every time that happened I’d realise and pull myself out of it. So my mind was kinda hazy but still awake/ alert.

And then 25ish minutes in I kinda jolted awake cuz I think I was snoring? And the sound surprised me and my mind cleared up a bit (cuz I was in another daydream). Anyway I just think that was so cool. My body was asleep whilst my mind was awake even if it was for a little bit.

So after that I checked the time on the tape and moved a little bit and tried to carry on where I left off and my body felt heavy again really quickly. I also got the floaty feeling as well but that was only a little bit towards the end.

Day 12: body felt SUPER heavy but I fell asleep 10ish minutes before the tape ended 😔 and then had a dream where I was late for my volunteering and I woke up kinda confused and was in fact running late so maybe don’t do the gateway tapes an hour before you need to leave to go somewhere guys 😓