suzettesays - Tumblr blog

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Please join me and @LeonRogers TOMORROW NIGHT for the Special Edition of #UrbanDialog w/#Suzette... Honoring #TrayvonMartin! Lets talk PEACEFUL SOLUTIONS for our own, right here in CHICAGO!

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My son's 15th birthday with the only things he wanted... 2 @common CDs. He very well could have been #TrayvonMartin. And bc I KNOW how blessed I am to have him with me... I REFUSE TO STAND IDLY BY! Now is the time for ACTION! #CanIBorrowADollar #Resurrection #Irony #Common #JordanWright #UrbanDialog #Suzette

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A Father's LOVE... #Irreplaceable

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@diamond_2bomb Thanks for the Love! 💋

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Getting ready to get My Love Language on with @oprah and Gary Chapman (author of The 5 Love Languages!!) at Harpo Studios! #UrbanDialog... Get your books!! We review it Feb. 14th!!! #Suzette #Chicago #LifeClass #WordsOfAffirmation

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I PROMISE U... I crack myself up! Follow me on Instagram & Twitter: @urbandialog

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Just dropped of all the donations collected at Urban Dialog w/Suzette! Thank you to those that supported my efforts. We MUST be about SERVICE!! 💋 #UDwSuz #UrbanDialog #Suzette #Chicago #FoodDrive

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On the PINK CARPET!!! ME... @LuciousKitty @hc_showtime19 Scarves by the WONDERFUL @TheLaurenWright #UDwSuz #UDHomeTeam #Chicago

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No longer a question... It's a STATEMENT!

When I moved a couple of weeks back one of the first things I did was put up my vision board.  Making a complete project out of it, I tore through magazines and catalogs... being purposeful of the things I wanted to attract in my life.  And I ran across and article that asked the question, "Are you ready?"  It resonated with me.  It was a question that I needed to ask myself in a few areas of my life. So I placed it (perfectly measured) in the middle of my vision board. In the days following it was the first thing I saw in the morning.  Therefore, the first conversation I would have with myself. (YES... I do have those!)

"ARE YOU READY TO LET GO OF THE GUILT YOU'VE BEEN CARRYING?"  Realizing that authentic progression was not possible without doing so... I slowly began releasing guilt and forgiving myself for things that I could not change.  Knowing some mistakes I owe recompense for and will work at until accomplished.  Yet also knowing that SOME mistakes I made in relationships (meaning friendships, love relationships, work relationships), were actually for my BETTERMENT, and just maybe not mistakes at all!  I didn't need to be in that narcissistic dynamic.  Breaking free from that partner (the business one AND the romantic one), was one of the best things I could do for myself.  So guilt, however slight it was... GONE!

"ARE YOU READY TO LET GO OF THE THOUGHTS OF OTHERS AND LIVE IN YOUR FULLNESS?"  This was a tough struggle!  I have been fighting the "who does she think she is" syndrome for most of my life.  This was the whisper of other people behind my back and sometimes right in my inner circle, for as long as I can remember.  And I shrunk myself to make other people more comfortable with themselves.  Having done it for so long, I had forgotten the hopes and dreams I had for MYSELF.  Listening to those whispers had me not listening to the things, the REAL things I not only think, but KNOW of myself.  And once I was WITH myself (never BY myself), quiet and long enough to only hear ME, I knew I was ready to live not only loud (because I already do that), but to live authentically!  What that means for me is doing ALL OF ME, shrinking NOTHING!  Not ignoring the whispers... MY thoughts are so loud now, I don't even hear "THEM!" ("THEM," a double entendre... the whispers nor the people)

"ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE?"  Another difficult struggle.  I can be a perfectionist to a fault!  Doing nothing because I couldn't do "it" exactly how I wanted "it" to be.  Well, in this quiet alone reflection, I QUICKLY understood that the my destination would never be reached without taking A step... ANY step!  And in just doing ONE thing, other THINGS started falling into place.  My wants and needs, have suddenly started showing up.  From things as simple as having my Urban Dialog w/Suzette theme song converted into a file I wasn't capable of doing... to a dear friend sharing her highly sort after contacts... to me no longer searching for, but a film crew asking ME if they could film, editing and produce my show.  YAH IS GREAT!

There were other areas that I asked "Are you ready," but none as profound as these three.  Asking these questions motivated me to put MY goals IN ACTION! As I reminded myself in my previous post... "FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD!"  So, in this remembrance... I began the work of building myself a website. And while it is not my idea of "perfection," it is where I am NOW and I'M PROUD not only to have it, but to share it!  I will continue to create and change it as my life also creates and changes itself.

Please visit me at urbandialog.com for everything Urban Dialog w/Suzette.  And while I do hope you enjoy it as much as I do, it's no longer necessary for anyone else to do so but... ME!

When I woke up today and saw the question centered on my vision board, something happened.  I quickly looked for my scissors, took it off my board and went to work!  What used to ask, "Are you ready," now says... YOU'RE READY! 

And I AM in fact READY... to live MY LIFE AS A "10," ON 10!            WHAT A WONDERFUL FEELING!

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Heading to SOCIAL EXCELLENCE Honoree Awards with @awbside & @dhammond1... I just can't take myself seriously!!

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Restvalle Cemetery, Alsip IL

People always ask me why I come here... why is it so important to me that twice a year I visit the place my father was laid to rest. Well, it's for no other reason than reflection and evaluation. It's a quiet place to think. Wind, crickets...  birds on occasion. Stillness.  Sounds of my thoughts... of disappointment... of self-correction...  of FAITH... of JOY!

No better place to be reminded that as long as I'm on THIS side of the grass...

I HAVE A CHANCE!  

A chance to make peace where there is war.

A chance to open my heart & say more.  

A chance to mend broken spaces.

A chance to revisit favorite places.

A chance to right things I've wronged.

A chance to reap the good I've sown. 

A chance to be of help & to serve.

A chance to receive the love I deserve!

A chance to learn, unlearn and RELEARN!

A chance to quench the thirst for the LIFE I YEARN !!!

In LIFE we all have a chance to do, be and as Ralph Emerson says... LIVE THE LIFE WE IMAGINE! 

It's important to me to come here. And today for the first time I am witnessing a grave being dug. And it too reminds me that no day is promised. I wonder... what chances did this soul miss or take for granted. 

I'm renewed when I leave here. Determined to let NO CHANCE PASS ME BY!!

I want EVERYTHING The Most High has for me! And I know with all the faith that I have that Faith without works is DEAD! That means there's no chance if you don't go get it! 

LET'S GO GET IT Y'ALL!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!

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“Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change” POWERFUL! Had a nice long look at myself recently and everything wasn't nearly as pristine as I would have liked it to be. Yet I accepted those things. The things I regret (which is not much at all), I work at... AND KEEP IT MOVING! NICE POST PAM!

Iyanla Vanzant (via asilibodyproducts)

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Karma is only a Bitch if YOU WERE FIRST!

-Suzette

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SINGLE... A CONSCIENCE EFFORT!

I always wondered what the big deal was about being single.  It always seemed as though it was such a miserable state of being.  Over the course of my dating history I've watched friends suddenly finding themselves single and they'd be LOST!  Not because they wanted to stay in the relationship, but because they just didn't want to be single.  I'd listen to story after story about the lonely nights, the shallow dating pool and every other complaint.

However, when I suddenly found myself single for the first time in over two decades... (YES, you read that right... I haven't been single in over 20 years.) I was looking forward to what I knew would be a time FOR SELF!  I have spent over 20 years... compromising, learning other's habits, getting to know family & friends, living up to someone else's expectations, feeding, cleaning up after, pleasing, catering and in this last relationship... leaving my ENTIRE life behind.  Literally... I went on a date one night and I never really went home again until the relationship was over.  I spent all of last year doing what OTHERS thought, wanted or demanded I do... AND I WAS MISERABLE.  Not because I was doing THOSE things, but because I wasn't also doing MY THING!  To NO FAULT of anyone else BUT ME!!  I am SOLELY responsible for my happiness.  So, MY BAD!  And in hindsight, I would have made a much better girlfriend, friend, boss, mother etc... If I had spent ANY time, doing something for me.  My focus was "us."  What "we" were going to do.  When I had things to do of my own.  Yet, I don't have any regrets about those decisions... I've learned A LOT!  O_o  

In moving forward (it's been 3 mos), I too have found myself not so happy being single.  BUT ONLY BECAUSE I WANT TO REMAIN SINGLE!  After experiencing a couple FIRST dates, everyone is ready to COMMIT!  WTF?  I learned HARD lessons about jumping in w/o any foundational friendship and I AM NOT DOING THAT AGAIN!  Why can't I see you on Sunday... and then maybe not again until Thursday. I don't want to see you today, tomorrow and then EVERY fucking day!  I know... it probably sounds harsh but JEEZE!!

I'm just not in a place where I want learn YOU!  I'M WORKING ON ME!  It's the first time in my adult life that I don't have the responsibility of anyone else other than my children.  AND I LIKE THAT JUST FINE! 

I don't want to know your favorite meal, or color or band etc. etc.

I don't want to go the action films you like.

I don't want to watch the TV you like.

I don't want to meet your mother.

I don't want to meet your children and 3 baby's mamas.

I don't want to learn your favorite position... LET ALONE GET IN IT!  And as much as I could really go for some hot butt naked sex... I'm not remotely interested! 

AND I've found that it has NOTHING to do with whether I'm ready to move on or not... I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE for my whereabouts, my phone calls, my comings and goings, any other friends I have or what I chose to do with my time! I'm not taking your pouting, your silent treatment, your wishy washy behavior, your mood swings or ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!

THIS IS MY DECLARATION OF SOLITUDE! 

Now is just NOT THE TIME!

And while this may all sound a little self-absorbed... (it kinda is!) it's just the truth.

I'm only entertaining FRIENDSHIP... NOTHING MORE!

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Most of what you need to know about me!

I do BIG things but find pleasure in the small things.

I mean what I say and say EXACTLY what I mean.

Not only can I handle the TRUTH, the integrity in me commands it!

When you ask me "whatcha doin'," and I say "nothing," that means I'M BUSY!!

I am "PRINCIPLE BASED." It's not the thing... It's the PRINCIPLE OF THE THING!

My life is full of “range.” I can find something relatable in anyone from the Whitehouse to the Crackhouse.

I find it more valuable to pay for non-tangible EXPERIENCES rather than tangible things.

Instead of one marshmallow today, I want two tomorrow!

I admire simple elegance and have no interest in extravagance.

I am not facades but “take me as I am” because who I am is greater than what I posses.

I don't like sewing machines. I like TOOLS! Power preferably!!

I don't have many friends, I have 3!

I'm not trapped by "appearances," but rather draped in reality.

I don't care what other people think, I do any and everything because I desire.

I care more about the names my children learn in school rather than the name on the school my children attend.

I am rarely made up, just happily made!

I don't partake in commercialism. I love everyday, I'm thankful every moment, and don't perpetuate childhood lies of Saints, Rabbits or Fairies.

I work and play on the North Side, but then go home ‘cause that’s where my heart is and it’s on the SOUTH SIDE!

I know The Creator Spirituality rather than Religiously.

My heart has been broken by every (wo)man I’ve loved, but has never felt more open!

I don't seek or long for a marriage to gain a husband, but to BE a HELP MEET - which is the VERB in WIFE.

I am a casual get-together, buck the system, barefoot host of my own chat kind of girl.