surumarssi

[surumarssi]

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

[surumarssi]

really love how fun it is to draw david byrne 🕺🤸

[surumarssi]

Because of my lucrative government contracts, I can give Havana Syndrome to people who are rude to me at the grocery store

[surumarssi]

The Two Types of “Mysterious Small Town” Stories

[surumarssi]

the way disco elysium plays with and ultimately shatters the concept of "camaraderie" in the police and the military truly is So. Good.

it introduces you to kim who is this ideal of the Brother in Arms - you meet him and you know. he'd lay it all down for you.

you then proceed to realize this is a kim thing, not a cop thing, despite the skill that informs you about it being The Cop Camaraderie skill

the rest of the cops are not just unhelpful, they're cruel. they're a boys' club of toxic masculinity, homophobia and joking about how they abuse their power, like when jean stole mustard from a homeless man. if harry begs them for help, the greatest kindness the operator can do for him is pretend he didn't hear and cut the connection to save harry's pride. the more you put into this skill, the more the rancid underbelly of policing and policemen as individuals in this system comes to light.

and that's before we get into the plot-relevant stuff, how martinaise was abandoned by jean and co because jean was too damn busy trying to make a point to harry than do his fucking job.

then there's the bond between the paramilitary squad. unlike the cops, they're tight, a family to each other, and it makes them completely immune to reason the moment the Head of their hierarchy gets murdered. and this head of theirs, the most rational, most charismatic of them all, their leader, still was a monster who, for His Men and their Morale, saw kidnapping some poor girl and offering her like a human sacrifice to the pit of animals that was his squadron as a Rational course of action.

maybe there's love there, in a way, but it's the kind of love that wholly depends on seeing your circle as the only people deserving of life, and the rest of the world as insects.

and i think abt how so many other stories that try to be cop or military critical still fall into that trap of believing that the people in these environs are a Family doing their Best, that they got each others back and thats all that they need to get through this!(whatever plot event is happening)

and not that its like. a cesspool of keeping each other in Check or maintaining that Family only by Othering the rest of the world

[surumarssi]

Summer Slipping By

[surumarssi]

My long term goal is to hang out

[surumarssi]

It's so embarrassing to have a Kurt Weill phase. like what am I 110 years old? I don't even have an old timey gramophone

[surumarssi]

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

[surumarssi]

turn off that cocteau twins and the cure and turn on some funk before you kill yourself

[surumarssi]

'two scenes from "notre faust," devised by maurice béjart to music by johann sebastian bach + argentine tangos' in phaidon book of the ballet (1979)

[surumarssi]

– Bob Pepper

[surumarssi]

found the killer post again bc i lost it

[surumarssi]

the lichen knowledge iceberg i have constructed on request

[surumarssi]

look man, im just part of the random encounter table. i dont want to have this fight any more than you do. just put away the enchanted greatsword and we can both go back to having a nice day at the mall, ok? you do have to flee the battle though. like a little bitch, thats right.

[surumarssi]

sorry i boiled your boyfriends blood in his veins it's just a reflex action at seeing something really detestable and ugly as fuck, plus you could have stopped me at any point during the incantation and it would have failed so it's your fault he's dead really

[surumarssi]