I'll prolly very rarely use this for anything, but it's here if I need it. Avatar and Header images are not by me.
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Happy 20th anniversary to the Eds!
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Interesting! I think for me, the story that most stands out to me as one which I... really struggle to enjoy would have to be Boo Haw Haw due to the uninspired plotline and especially the predictable and overly-mean-spirited ending. However, I'd honestly be lying if I tried to claim that I didn’t find the designs for Ed’s movie-monster hallucinations to be REALLY friggin’ cool to look at. There’s just so much detail in those monster designs, and you can really tell they had a ton of fun making them.
Also, dear god is Boo Haw Haw’s theme music fucking catchy. I mean, this is Ed, Edd n’ Eddy so that’s to be expected, but the Boo Haw Haw theme always really stood out to me in that regard. I genuinely love listening to it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYrH2yLT7F0
What are are some of your favourite moments or aspects of your least favourite EEnE stories?
Interesting question, and one I’ve given some thought to before!
‘Sorry Wrong Ed’:
For some reason this Ed line is one of my favorites in season 4…
Eddy: I SAY WE TEST IT.
Edd: Test it?
Ed: Like… Mustard?
I can only imagine Ed’s brain went there because of the similar syllables?
Edd’s sarcastic “And I’m Theodore Geisel..” was also very quotable to me as a kid just learning Dr. Seuss had a real name…
The scene in Eddy’s room had some fun quiet moments in general, like Eddy quietly studying the spring and pretending to hear Edd and then just going “Yeah.. sure… Rolf?” when his mind catches back up.
Besides that, it’s a Wootie episode, so I really like the design work and camera angles throughout the whole thing. It’s full of great visual touches, creative color choices and thoughtful character acting, I just wish they were applied to a story with more substance and less “hahaha he didn’t want to get hurt but we did it anyway.”
With ‘The Good, The Bad and The Ed’, I tune out a lot of it and just enjoy the animation. At some points, I think it even looks more like a movie than the movie! Most of the good stuff’s at the beginning, but throughout the episode there’s a sense that the artists are making an effort to have the faces be funny enough to be worth the torment, and to make this sort of an epic adventure and not just repetitive like the show’s other slapstick-driven episodes.
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Happy birthday to everyone’s favourite super-tough pink puff!!!
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Hey, thanks! This was really just a silly idea I came up with a while back that I decided to just run with. I’m pretty into the Kirby series in general, and I’ve always found its music to be pretty A+ -- the series tends to bring back songs from older games more frequently than other Nintendo series tend to, which really helps make the series’ music more memorable IMHO. As such, this was a ton of fun to make! I tried to strike a good balance between using the series’ more notable songs and using songs which fit the scene, and I’m pretty proud of the result. I think my personal favourite song choice would have to be the song I used for Eddy’s Brother revealing his true nature, as it just felt for perfectly befitting of Eddy’s Bro. I also had a lot of fun coming up with a faux track list for this as well, especially all the little ways I found of matching the title of the original track to the scene I used it in.
Interested to see if you have anything more to say once (if?) you have the time to watch the rest!
Just a dumb, silly thing I made a while back on Youtube: watch?v=3W7yInKjFrQ
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I haven’t had enough time to watch the whole thing but I’m intrigued by seeing the opening this way, haha! Impressive amount of effort doing the full movie.
Weird, the video was embedded until I posted it? WELL here’s a normal link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W7yInKjFrQ
WEIRD, then it started working after I added the link? Uhhh.. good luck looking at this answer I guess, lmao
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I did a thing recently:
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#Ed Edd n' Eddy#Ed Edd n' Eddy's BIG PICTURE SHOW#Ed#Edd#Eddy#BIG PICTURE SHOW#Kirby#Edition#Ed Edd n' Eddy's BIG PICTURE SHOW Kirby Edition#Music#Youtube
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So people know, I’ve posted a copy of Ed, Edd, N’(azz) Eddy’s BIG PICTURE SHOW on Archive of Our Own (http://archiveofourown.org/works/11496132). I was going to post it on fanfic.net, but apparently they have a rule against script-format stories!
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Apparently my ask box wasn’t open. Feel free to ask me anything, if you want.
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A recently-unearthed ancient relic depicting a distant ancestor of Lupo the Butcher.
(Read: Some silly thing I drew a while back).
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Today, I learned that Bloopers have mouths.
All pieces of official art that show the standard Blooper design (not variant designs such as the Super Mario Sunshine one) with its mouth visible.
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Ed, Edd, N’(azz) Eddy’s BIG PICTURE SHOW (Unformatted Version)
[The Cul-de-Sac is seen from overhead. Wind is heard blowing in the background.]
Ed Edd N’(azz) Eddy's
BIG PICTURE SHOW
[Nazz's backyard is seen. There is a kiddie pool set up with a toy boat gently rocking in it, a water hose hanging over the side, and a magazine resting on the rim. Next to it is a wooden chair with a pair of sunglasses lying on it and a towel strung over it. Behind the pool is a clothesline, strung with clothes. The clothes blow gently in the wind.]
Writers
Jono Howard
Mike Kubat
Rachel Connor
Stacy Warnick
and
Danny Antonucci
[A sprinkler attached to a water hose is watering Kevin's lawn. Kevin's bike is leaned against the garage. A close-up shot of the sprinkler is seen, followed by a pan over to Rolf's house.]
Storyboard
Scott Underwood
Steve Garcia
Raven Molisee
Joel Dickie
Big Jim Miller
[Rolf's tractor is sitting abandoned in a half-mowed field of weeds. The wind blows, and some dandelion seeds come loose and float through the air. They pass underneath the sun, then land around Jonny's front yard, where an in-progress game of checkers can be seen. A half-finished bottle of soda and a can of wood varnish occupy each end of the board. Both containers have a straw in them.]
Composer
Patric Caird
[An abandoned basketball, a pair of sunglasses, and a lawn chair are seen next to a game of hopscotch drawn in chalk on a sidewalk, with squares counting down from the number 8. After 3, however, the count jumps to 62 in an unfinished square, with the chalk trailing off immediately thereafter. Nearby is an opened box of chalk with a few pieces strewn about, some broken. Also nearby are two abandoned sandals, a skateboard with the wheels still rolling, and a dropped ice-cream cone on which ants are crawling. There is a flash, and suddenly the lane is seen, utterly destroyed. A silhouette of Nazz can be seen splattered against part of the fence in black paint. The rest of the fence has numerous dirt markings and is broken in one spot by a broken-down sign reading "RiGHT HERE". Strewn about the ground is various debris, including a bag of cement, spilled black paint, an oven mitt, a toaster, some paper, a fedora, and a brick with balloons tied to it, some of which have popped. A close-up of the ants is then seen before there is another flash, followed by more of the lane, replete with footprints made in black paint, boxes, a destroyed phonograph, and a bowling ball. Also, a tree has fallen over the lane, breaking the fence on both sides and crushing a stand beneath it. Attached to the stand is the remains of a sign on which Eddy's face has been drawn. The ants are then seen again, this time in extreme close up, followed by another flash and an overhead shot of the destroyed lane. More damage can be seen, including an over-turned trolley spilling nondescript items on to the ground, an over-turned dumpster, a crowbar, a wheel-barrow, and more pieces of destroyed fence. A large hole has also been dug out of the ground near the woods out of which sticks a water-pipe which is spilling water onto the grass. A canoe can be seen lying in someone's backyard nearby a small tree which is missing a large chunk of its leaves. Meanwhile, in another backyard, more remains of a sign can be seen along with a bicycle and an over-turned barbecue. Large amounts of damage has befallen the house in this yard, including a broken window, various dirt markings, and an axe lodged in the wall on the second floor. Finally, an ice cream truck has swerved off the road and bounced off a fence, and can be seen lying in the backyard on its side.]
Directed by
Danny Antonucci
Edited by
Super Goomba
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[Ed bursts into his room, the door coming off its hinges in the process and travelling with Ed as he runs across the room and slams into the opposite wall. After recovering from the collision, he grabs the door and opens it, only to run right into the brick wall beyond, leaving an Ed-shaped crater in the wall. He then pulls himself free, leaving a brick wall pattern embedded on his face, which he quickly fixes by pulling on his neck. With a worried expression, he then lifts his right leg, rips off his shoe, and begins trying to remove his sock with his teeth, stretching it out in the process. As he works to get it loose, he hops backwards until he eventually falls backwards onto his desk, destroying it and knocking things to the floor. He quickly picks himself up and continues his attempts to remove his sock, only to fall backwards again, landing on the ground with such force that his TV falls onto his face and gets stuck there. Undeterred, he stands up again and resumes his attempts to remove his sock, only to wind up jumping onto a stray spyglass, causing him to lose his balance and fall onto his bed. Spring forces then launch him up into the ceiling, a collision which both leaves a small hole in the ceiling and serves to dislodge the TV from his face. He then falls back onto the bed, bounces on to the floor, gets up, and continues trying to remove his sock, flailing his arms as he does so. After falling onto his back one last time, he finally removes his sock, and promptly begins grabbing objects from around his room, including comic books, toys, and clothes.]
Ed: Trouble! Bad! Big!
[Ed puts some bread in a toaster pushes down the switch, then begins stuffing objects into his sock, which expands to the size of a large bag. His closet cleared out, Ed grabs his chair, holds it over his sock/bag, and shakes it. A mountain of items promptly falls out of a hole in the bottom of the chair and into the sock-bag, leaving his chair looking deflated. He then grabs his sock and rushes into the bathroom, where he pulls down part of the wallpaper to reveal his sponge collection. He quickly gathers the sponges up in his arms, catching a couple stray sponges with his mouth and bare toe. The toast then pops out of the toaster. Ed quickly grabs it, butters it with a tray of butter held in his mouth, and tosses it into his sock-bag, dropping the butter onto the floor in the process. He then grabs his sponges in one hand, his sock in the other, nearly slips on the butter, and runs off, the overstuffed sock breaking off parts of the wall separating Ed’s bedroom and bathroom in the process.]
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[The inside of a cardboard box is seen. A rectangular hole is cut is cut into it by Sarah, who is dressed like a movie director. She is standing in her and Ed’s backyard.]
Sarah: Okay, Jimmy. Ready?
[Sarah turns the box so that the opening faces Jimmy, who is dressed like a pirate. He claps and giggles.]
Sarah: Aaaand... action!
Jimmy: Okay! [Waving a cardboard sword around] Arrr! Avast ye, barnacle-bitten bully! For I, the dread pirate, Keelhaul Crookshank, will swash your buckle, and yardarm your sea-leg!
[Sarah is standing next to a director’s chair with her name on it. The cardboard box is part of a makeshift movie camera, with which Sarah is using to film Jimmy. She reacts to his performance with dissatisfaction and stops “filming”.]
Sarah: Cut, cut, cut, cut!
[Sarah grabs a makeshift megaphone and speaks through it.]
Sarah: What the heck was that?! C'mon, say it like you mean it! You're a bloodthirsty scourge of the seven seas, silly!
[Jimmy thinks for a moment.]
Jimmy: ... I found it, Sarah!
[Sarah puts down the megaphone and resumes “filming”.]
Sarah: Aaaand... action!
[Jimmy is about to resume acting only for the sound of large collision to draw his and Sarah’s attention. Ed has just burst out the wall of the house nearby and is currently lying on the ground amidst his sponges. He quickly stands up and gathers up most of the sponges in his arms.]
Ed: Save yourselves!
[Ed hugs the sponges and grunts with grief.]
Ed: Be free, dear friends!
[Ed casts the sponges skyward, grabs his sock-bag, and runs off toward the front yard.]
Ed: Trouble! Bad! Big!
[Sarah and Jimmy watch Ed leave, confused, Jimmy lifting his eyepatch to get a better look. They then look at each other, only for Jimmy to accidentally let go of his eyepatch, causing it to snap back and leave an imprint on his head. He quickly rubs his head in pain.]
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[Edd is in his room, whimpering with the lights off. An empty suitcase is lying on his bed, and a wide assortment of neatly prepared and labelled items can be seen nearby, as if he is packing for a trip.]
Edd: [In voice-over] Beloved parents, by the time you read this, I will be long -- uh, far... [Normal voice] Oh dear...
[Edd is sitting at his desk, trying to write a note as he continues to struggle to not start crying. A lamp has been set up on his desk. He then rips his latest note attempt out of his notebook and folds it neatly into a square before placing on top of a tower of similarly-folded notes in his trashcan. A few smaller towers can be seen next to the trashcan. Edd then clicks his pen and resumes writing.]
Edd: [Voice-over] Dearest Mother and Father, it is with great shame...
[Edd’s lettering becomes shaky as he writes the word ‘shame’. He then stops, clicks his pen, puts it down, and begins to cry. After a moment, he pulls himself together, takes the pen, clicks it again, and resumes writing.]
Edd: [Voice-over] ... That I regretfully confess to...
[Edd stops and clicks his pen again, then sniffs, struggling to hold back his tears. He quickly clicks his pen and resumes writing again.]
Edd: [Voice-over] ... I regretfully confess to my involvement in the inexcusable... unconscionable... reprehensible... abhorrent... detrimental... detestable... [Suddenly shouting out loud] Immoral! Thoughtless! Hurtful!!!
[Edd's writing gets increasingly jagged and messy as he writes this. He suddenly stops himself from writing, pausing for a brief moment.]
Edd: Oh, what have we done?!
[Edd gives in to his tears and begins wailing loudly, burying his face in his knees. Suddenly, there is loud crashing noise, causing Edd to drop his pen. He freezes for a moment, and nervously looks behind him. The door to his room has just been broken down by an anxious-looking Ed, still clutching his sock-bag, which is in the hallway outside Edd’s room.]
Ed: Dah-houble D!
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[A harried Eddy stands on his bed and attempts to shut the lid on a suitcase overstuffed full of approximately the entire contents of his room. When the lid does not shut, he begins jumping up and down on it until eventually he finally manages to force it closed. He then grab the handle of the suitcase and tries to flee out into the hall, only for the suitcase to not budge, causing Eddy to go flying backwards into the suitcase. He quickly grabs the handle with both arms and begins struggling to pull the suitcase off the bed. When the suitcase finally does come off, however, it lands on Eddy, flattening him against the floor as the suitcase bursts open, scattering its contents all over the room. Eddy gets up and looks around in a panic, only to be distracted by a loud banging noise as someone repeatedly tries to kick down the door connecting his room to the backyard. Terrified, Eddy quickly grabs a vacuum cleaner and begins pretending to vacuum.]
Eddy: [Falsetto] Um, my little Eddy's not home right now!
[The door is successfully kicked up into the ceiling of Eddy’s room, where it gets stuck.]
Eddy: [Diving behind the vacuum cleaner] DON'T HURT ME!
Ed: [Running in from the backyard, his sock-bag getting caught in the doorway] Trouble! Bad!
[As he charges into the room, Ed blindly trips over the vacuum and lands on Eddy, the vacuum sandwiched between them. The vacuum promptly explodes, releasing a cloud of dust into the room, which quickly dissipates.]
Eddy: It wasn't my fault, I swear!
[Eddy suddenly realizes who just barged into his room. He quickly stands up and begins gathering up his things, including the suitcase.]
Eddy: Ed, you idiot! I thought it was those sore losers!
Ed: [Panicking] What do we do, Eddy? What do we do???
Eddy: [Holding the now-empty suitcase, looking around] What happened to Sockhead???
[Ed reaches into his bag and pulls out Edd, who is dazed and covered head-to-toe in gunk from Edd’s room. Edd sneezes, removing most of the gunk, except for a slice of buttered toast stuck to his back.]
Eddy: [Handing Edd the suitcase as Ed sets Edd on the ground] Here, hold this!
[Ed n’ Eddy begin running around the room. After a moment, Edd recovers from his stupor.]
Edd: Gah! We're fugitives, Eddy!
[Eddy gathers some papers from his bed.]
Edd: Are you aware of the consequences we're about to endure?! All because of our misguided chicanery!!!
[Ed stops running around just in time for the Eds to spy a shadow moving outside past Eddy’s blinds.]
Eddy: Too late!!! Quick, my brother's room!
[Eddy rushes out of his room and heads off down the hall. Edd n’ Ed bring up the rear, only for Ed to continue charging forward, causing both to slam into the opposite wall, leaving a small crater. They then peel off, Edd landing on the ground on top of Ed. Meanwhile, Eddy continues charging down the hall, running up walls and along the ceiling and knocking a picture off the wall in his desperation to reach the front door. However, as he reaches the front door he skids to a halt, messing up the front carpet in the process; something outside is hammering on the front door, trying to get in. The other Eds then come up behind Eddy, Ed bumping to Eddy’s back. Eddy quickly directs them upstairs, just as the front door bursts open behind them. At the top of the stairs, Eddy throws his friends in front of him, and all three charge down the hall in a panic until they eventually reach the doorway to Eddy’s brother’s room. Eddy grabs the door handle and nervously twists it, then slowly opens the door and peeks inside. He looks around, spying various things such as his brother’s stuffed camel and car. The lights are off, but otherwise the room looks safe.]
Edd: Eddy, do you think this is wise?
Eddy: They'll never find us in here!
[Eddy charges into the room. Edd pauses nervously, then runs in after Eddy, who is rummaging around in his brother’s closet and throwing stray objects into the room. Ed enters from behind Edd.]
Eddy: [Finding a rolled-up tube of paper] Ah-ha!
[Eddy jumps on Ed’s head, pulls Ed’s tongue out of his mouth, and quickly uses it to apply saliva to the hallway side of the door to brother’s room. He then unrolls the paper, which depicts the same pattern as the hallway outside, and sticks it to the saliva-covered doorway. As he does this, he jumps off Ed’s head, causing Ed to fall backwards and land on Edd. Ed quickly retracts his tongue.]
Eddy: Ssh!
[Eddy peeks out the door, down the hallway in both directions. He then retreats back into his brother’s room and closes the door. The wallpaper has been applied very roughly, such that the doorway is still plainly visible behind it. Inside the room, Eddy turns on the lights and begins applying various locks to the door, including but not limited to: a round latch, a sliding chain, a crossbar, a floor-mounted obstruction, and a large set of chains set over the door, locked by a padlock. Eddy then grabs Ed and backs away to the centre of the room, hiding behind him. Edd quickly joins them, hiding behind Eddy. They wait for a moment, then Eddy backs away further, pulling Edd with him, only for Ed to grab both his friends in his arms and begin backing away to the wall opposite the door.]
Eddy: [Whispering] This is all your fault, Sockhead!
Edd: [Whispering] My fault? Funny, isn't it, how it's always my fault when yet another of your amazing scams goes awry!
Eddy: [Whispering] Yeah, well, I didn't see you stop me! [Pointing at Edd] You shoulda known it would go bad!
Ed: [Whispering] And boy, did it go bad!
[Some light noise is suddenly heard from outside the door. The Eds freeze. Eddy looks up and spots a glass on top of his brother’s fridge reading “PEACH CREEK DINER - 2000 BEST EATER”. He then uses his foot to push Edd to the door, causing the piece of toast to fall off Edd's back in the process. As Ed spies the buttered toast on the floor, Eddy hands Edd the glass. Nervous, Edd puts the glass to the door and his ear to the glass so as to listen to what’s going on on the other side, while Eddy stashes himself in Ed's pocket. Edd continues to listen, only to freeze when he suddenly hears the sound of someone eating noisily from inside the room. Eddy, seeing crumbs falling to floor, looks up to see Ed eating the toast. Edd, now standing in a puddle of his own sweat, drops the glass, which falls to the ground with a clink. Suddenly, the door starts to buckle as something pounds on it from the other side.]
Ed: We are not long for this world!
[Edd backs away from the door and falls onto his back while Ed darts around the room in a blind panic. In Ed’s panic, Eddy smashes into the camel and falls to the floor, while Ed crashes into the car and stumbles around in a daze. Edd then picks himself up and rushes towards the window.]
Edd: The window!
[Edd parts the curtains only to find naught but bricks on the other side. Eddy runs up and swipes at the bricks in desperation before backing away into Edd.]
Eddy: What's with my brother and these stupid bricks?!
[Edd and Eddy stumble backwards and trip over the rug, landing on their backs while Ed runs off in the other direction. The rug rolls up, revealing a vent.]
Edd: [Picking himself up] Eddy, look! This heat vent will lead to an escape!
Ed: [Riding the camel, kicking it as if trying to make it move] Over here, guys! My lumpy mutated horsie will save us!
[The crossbar breaks from the force of the blows on the door, and Kevin’s foot kicks through the doorknob.]
Edd: [As Eddy struggles to lift the heat vent] Eddy! The door won't hold for much longer!!!
Eddy: [Panicked] Don't just stand there! DO SOMETHING!!!
[Edd grabs onto Eddy and pulls, trying to help him remove the grate. He looks over to Ed, who is now rocking the camel back and forth like a rocking horse.]
Ed: Giddy-up, horsie! Do not let your mutated lump slow you down! Guh-hrr!
[The force of Ed’s rocking causes him to be sent flying into the opposite wall, knocking various objects to the floor. Before falling, he pauses upside-down in mid-air, looking at a glass box on the wall with writing on it which has left an imprint on his face. He then falls, his eyes and unibrow hovering in midair a moment longer before falling as well. Edd and Eddy, meanwhile, finally manage to pull the vent cover loose, causing it to fly backwards and embed itself on Edd’s face. As Edd nearly falls onto his back, Eddy leaps in to the heat vent, only to discover that it has been bricked up as well.]
Eddy: More bricks, Double D!
Ed: Oh! Ooh! Oh! This-a-way, guys!
[Ed grabs Edd, causing the heat vent cover to pop off Edd’s face and onto the floor.]
Ed: [Holding his friends in front of the box, which has a small hammer hanging off it] Look!
Edd: [Reading] ‘In case of movie break glass’?
Eddy: Bingo!
[Eddy grabs the hammer and breaks the case.]
Eddy: My bro's always prepared!
[Eddy reaches inside and pulls out a peanut.]
Eddy: ... A peanut?
Ed: [Taking a closer look] Cheap movie.
[Meanwhile, an arm reaches through the space where the doorknob used to be. It feels the chains before reaching down, finding the obstruction on the floor, and lifting it. The door creaks open a little more, and the badly-beat-up-looking kids become visible as they strain to get into the room.]
Kevin: Lemme through! End of the line, dorks!
[The Eds panic, sending the peanut flying through the air. It falls into Ed’s mouth. He nearly swallows it, but catches it in his mouth and examines it, then begins trying to break it with his teeth.]
Eddy: It was just a scam, Double D! [Hugging Edd in desperation] How could it go so wrong?!
Edd: Eddy, the laws of probability can be a real mean-–
Ed: [Muffled] Shut my mouth!
[Ed grabs his arm and pulls it repeatedly like a crank, causing his teeth to apply an increasing amount of force on the peanut until the shell eventually breaks open, cracking Ed’s teeth and revealing a key.]
Edd: Eddy! A key!
[The kids strain at the door harder than ever, Rolf sticking his head through the opening in the doorknob.]
Eddy: [Grabbing the key as parts of the door begin to break off] It must be for my brother's car!
[The kids continue to try to break down the door, Kevin and Nazz both forcing their bodies through openings in the doorframe.]
Edd: [As Eddy scrambles into the driver’s seat of the car through the passenger-side door] But Eddy, we're too young to drive!
Eddy: Get in, get in!
[Ed dives into the backseat while Edd rides shotgun. Eddy fumbles with the key as he tries to insert it into the ignition.]
Eddy: Come on!
[Eddy finally manages to get the key in. He turns it, but the engine barely coughs. Eddy continues turning the key, with no success.]
Edd: Ih-hit’s no use, Eddy!!!
[The door to the car closed, Edd puts on his seatbelt as Eddy continues trying to turn the key.]
Eddy: It ain't workin!!!
[The chains break as Rolf slams his head through the door.]
Rolf: Rolf's vengeance will be slow and painful, like Papa's charcoal anecdotes, Ed-boys!
[Rolf crashes through the door and charges into the room, followed by Nazz, Kevin, Jonny, and Plank, along with Rolf’s pig Wilfred. All four kids looks horrendous, all having black eyes, torn clothing, and various wounds covering their bodies. Parts of Kevin’s clothes have been burnt off; Rolf is missing his shirt and has various holes ripped out of his body, including a particularly large hole in his side; Nazz’s hair has been mostly shaved off and she is wearing a broken “Saw the woman in half” magic trick in lieu of clothes; Jonny has numerous objects clamped onto his body, including a mousetrap on his left foot, another mousetrap on his right finger, a pair of fake teeth over his left arm, a clothespin over his neck, and a massive bear trap over his head; finally, Plank has numerous cracks in his body, as well as a large saw embedded in his side. Edd n’ Eddy both scream with panic at the kids approach, only for Ed to look determined as he plunges his lower-body through the car's floor.]
Ed: I am Ed! Cheese and macaroni!
[Ed runs forward, driving the car Flintstones-style. The car smashes through doorway into the hall, carrying the kids, who have grabbed onto the car, with it. The car then bursts out the second floor of Eddy’s house and flies through the air, while Kevin, Rolf, and Jonny fall onto Eddy’s front yard.]
Nazz: [Looking out the opening in the wall of Eddy’s house] They're getting away, guys!
[The car lands violently on the street, knocking over a lamp-post and a fire hydrant before turning and backing up into Rolf’s garage, destroying it. Ed then runs off, taking the car through the fence separating Rolf and Jonny’s yards while Eddy vainly tries to steer. The kids, meanwhile, pick themselves off the ground, Jonny in particular struggling to pull his head out of the ground while the saw lies nearby, having become dislodged from Plank. After standing up, Rolf lets out a piercing whistle, prompting Wilfred to gallop in from the backyard as Nazz exits the front door of Eddy’s house.]
Rolf: Peel your onions, Ed-boys!!! [Sinister] And cry...
[Rolf climbs onto Wilfred’s back as Wilfred squeals.]
Rolf: There is no escaping the son of a shepherd!!!
[Rolf rides off in hot pursuit of the Eds.]
Kevin: Right behind you, man!
[Kevin takes off after Rolf. Nazz grunts in agreement, slams the door to Eddy’s house shut, and runs off as well. Meanwhile, Sarah and Jimmy peek out from behind Sarah and Ed’s house.]
Sarah: [Grinning] Let's go see, Jimmy!
[Sarah runs off, her director’s hat falling off her head as she does so. Jimmy nervously follows, removing his pirate hat and dropping it on the ground behind him. Sarah and Jimmy then watch from the sidewalk as the car goes by, followed immediately by Kevin, on his bike, Rolf, on his pig, and Nazz, on foot.]
Sarah: [Gleefully] Yowzers! *Gasp* Whaddya think they did this time, Jimmy???
Jimmy: [Flinching, yet excited] Whatever it was, it must be worser than ever!
[The Eds continue to trundle down the street.]
Edd: I think I'm gonna be sick!!!
Eddy: Not in my brother's car, you're not!!!
[Plank suddenly tumbles onto the windshield. There is a pause. Edd n’ Eddy promptly begin screaming in terror, followed shortly thereafter by Ed. Ed promptly swerves the car violently, passing Jonny on the street.]
Jonny: Let ‘em have it, buddy!!!
[Rolf and Kevin ride into a field, Kevin skidding his bike along the ground. Meanwhile, the car has been sent flying into the air, where it lands on the fences bordering the lane, knocking some fence-boards loose in the process. The car then continues down the lane, its wheels riding along the tops of the two fences. As it does this, Rolf begins to catch up to the Eds, and as he gets close, he pulls on Wilfred’s ears to coax out more speed. Meanwhile, oblivious to Rolf’s approach, Edd gasps for breath while Eddy looks out of the window, spying the car’s wheels balanced precariously on the fence.]
Edd: Gah! So much undone! Unsaid! Mother and Father will be so annoyed!
Ed: YEOWCH!
[Rolf has clamped down on Ed's leg with his teeth and is trying to pull him loose.]
Ed: [Holding onto the car’s windows for dear life as Rolf pulls him through the bottom of the car] They got me, guys! I'm a goner! Save yourselves! Don't forget about me!
[Ed’s fingers slip and he gets pulled out of the car.]
Ed: See ya.
Edd n’ Eddy: Ed!!!
[Edd and Eddy reach out the hole in the car, each grabbing one of Ed’s arms. With great effort, they begin pulling Ed back into the car. Though Ed’s face smashes into the car’s licence plate on the way, the Eds seem to be having success. Eventually, Ed's leg slips out of Rolf's teeth, and the Eds slip back into the car. The car then reaches the end of the lane and flies off over a dumpster and into the woods beyond.]
Rolf: Curse you, Ed-boy--!!!
[Rolf and Wilfred slam into the dumpster. The car sails through the woods, hitting many trees along the way and snapping them as the Eds scream in terror. The car then exits the woods and flies over a ravine before breaking through a chain-link fence into the junkyard. The wheels continue to carry them forward for a moment, after which Ed retakes control of the car. They pass by a mountain of trash, on which Kevin can be seen sitting on his bike, watching them. Meanwhile, Nazz is skating down the lane with her roller-skates, stopping upon arriving at the dumpster, which now has a large indentation in it. Rolf and Wilfred are nowhere to be seen. Jonny then runs up carrying Plank, exhausted and out of breath. He looks around. Meanwhile, Eddy is still trying to steer the car as the Eds continue through the junkyard. Suddenly, Kevin slams into the driver’s side of the vehicle on his bike, causing Ed to start losing control.]
Eddy: Agh!
Ed: Oh, help me!
Edd: Oh dear, now what?!
Eddy: He-he-help!
[The Eds and Kevin each go the opposite direction around a pile of garbage. Eddy looks out the window and sees Kevin coming up again. Kevin grunts as he hits them once more, causing the car to swerve all over the road as the Eds scream in fear.]
Eddy: He's a maniac, I tell ya!!!
[Kevin slams the Eds a third time, and they spin in circles. The car hits a mountain of trash and travels up it as if going over a ramp, flying into the air and spinning in circles. As Edd turns green and clutches his seatbelt in one hand, using his other hand to keep from vomiting, Eddy flies past him and out the window, still clinging to the wheel. The car lands on its side and slides along the ground, bouncing off a pipe and dragging a screaming Eddy alongside it. Eddy quickly stands up and runs with the car, while Kevin continues following on his bike. Soon, Rolf rejoins the chase as well.]
Rolf: Run like well-worn stockings, Wilfred!!!
[Ed quickly uses his left arm to spin the steering wheel, pulling Eddy back inside the car and wrapping him around the steering wheel in the process. The car then lands back upright as it continues onward, crashing through another chain-link fence, which gets caught on the front of the car. Beyond, the Eds arrive in the construction site, where the car bounces off various unfinished buildings and a stray steamroller, the buildings collapsing in the process. Kevin, Rolf, Nazz, and Jonny all pursue the Eds from behind.]
Rolf: Prepare for Rolf's water-laden bovine bladder!!!
Jonny: Plank's freaking out!
Eddy: [Desperate] Double D!!! You got any bright ideas?!
[Edd, grey in the face, is puking into a paper bag. He looks up at Eddy, only to react with shock and fear as Kevin catches up to them and grabs on to the driver’s side door handle. The chain-link fence has fallen off the front of the car by this point.]
Kevin: [Grinning maliciously] How do you like your faces? Fried or scrambled?
[Kevin opens the door.]
Eddy: [Diving into the passenger side of the car and hiding behind Edd] Ed!!! The door! The door, Lumpy!!!
Rolf: Rolf will assist you with the Ed-boy flogging, Kevin!
[Rolf grabs Wilfred and leaps into the air, causing him and Wilfred to roll forward like a wheel. Nazz comes up from behind on her skates, Jonny now riding on her back.]
Nazz: Go, Rolf, go!
[Ed manages to shut the door, tearing it away from Kevin. Eddy quickly locks it and begins to roll up the window.]
Edd: Ed! Fingers!!!
[Ed jerks his fingers back as the window closes most of the way. Grunting, Kevin leaps off his bike and onto the car. His bike swerves off, safely coming to a stop against a sawhorse, perfectly parked. Rolf and Wilfred then slam into the back of the car, sending them into the air as the force of the collision causes the trunk of the car to open. Wilfred then lands on the roof, while Rolf lands on the hood. Nazz then catches up to the car and grabs on to the fender.]
Kevin: [Reaching for the Eds through the partially-open window] You're going down, dude!
[The Eds look up and spot Wilfred's tail poking through the roof, where Rolf is twisting Wilfred around as if he were a corkscrew. Rolf then pulls hard on Wilfred, tearing a large hole in the roof. The kids leer in at the Eds through the hole.]
Kevin: Time for payback!
Jonny: Plank wants first crack at ‘em!!!
Rolf: Rolf will use their hides as a trunch for Nana's goitre!
Nazz: Like, thanks for the help up here, guys? Duh!
[The kids glare at the Eds.]
Ed: It wasn't me! Eddy did it!
[Ed ducks into his jacket.]
Eddy: In your dreams! It was Double D!
[Eddy ducks under the seat. Edd looks out the window and sees that they are approaching the playground.]
Edd: Um, excuse me. I'll be right back.
[Edd leans out the window and grabs onto the merry-go-round. Centrifugal force is quick to act on the car, and it begins to spin around in circles. Nazz then loses her grip just as the car begins to spin, screaming as she tumbles through the air. The car does a full 180° just as Nazz falls, and she lands in the open trunk, which shuts on her. The other kids struggle to hang on, Jonny holding on to the torn-open roof, Rolf holding on to the hood, and Kevin holding on to the steering wheel. Wilfred, his tail still embedded in the roof, is next to fly off, squealing as he goes.]
Jonny: Haaang ooon, buddddyyyyyyyy!
[The roof tears off the rest of way, sending Jonny and Plank flying off. Rolf loses his grip shortly thereafter and flies off as well.]
Kevin: You dorks ain't seen the last of meeeeeeee!!!
[Kevin loses his grip and goes flying towards the slide. Rolf has already created a large trench in the ground and has collided with the slide, damaging the fence beyond. Kevin then collides with the slide as well, further damaging the fence and springing Rolf back into the air and onto his back. Kevin then slides down the slide and lands on Rolf. Finally, Edd loses his grip on the merry-go-round, sending the car flies through the air and over the woods, the Eds screaming as they go. Kevin runs after them, carrying a piece of the playground fence.]
Kevin: DOOOOORRRRRKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Kevin throws the fence-piece away, and growls with frustration as it gets embedded in the ground. Meanwhile, Rolf is stumbling out of the wrecked playground, while Jonny pulls himself out a hole in the nearby street. A large chunk of concrete falls off his face, leaving an imprint.]
Kevin: I can't believe it! I almost had ‘em! We can't let this go, man. Not after what they... did... ?
[Kevin realizes something’s not right as Sarah and Jimmy tiptoe up from the lane to watch the show.]
Kevin: Wait a minute... where’d Nazz go? [Calling out] Nazz, where are you???
[Kevin looks around. Rolf walks up and joins him.]
Rolf: [As if calling for a lost dog] Fussbucket Naaaaazz-giiiiirl!
[Jonny walks up, listening to Plank.]
Plank:
Jonny: Plank sez he saw Nazz land in the trunk of Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy’s car!
Kevin: ...What?
[Kevin freezes. A look of pure horror quickly spreads on his face. Rolf looks shocked as well.]
Kevin: No. NO. NOOOOOOOO!!! [Freaking out] T-this can’t be happening! Those -- those twerps have kidnapped Nazz!!! This is... how could I have let his happen?! Oh, I swear, if those dorks touch even a single hair on her head, I’ll, I’ll... I’m going after them!!!
[Kevin begins charging off as a look of determination spreads across Rolf’s face. He grabs Kevin, stopping him, then sets him back down.]
Kevin: Hey!
Rolf: Have no fear, would-be-knight-in-shining-armor Kevin-boy! For Rolf will unearth the new-low Ed-boys and squash them like the parasites that infests Wilfred's tuchas!!! Damsel-in-distress Nazz-girl will rescued! This is Rolf's word!!! ... Dawg!
Plank:
Jonny: Say what?
Plank:
Jonny: [Whispering] You're reading my mind, Plank! Time to call in the special forces...
Kevin: Grr, those screw-ups couldn’t’ve got far! I'm getting my bike! I’m comin’ for ya, Nazz!!!
[Kevin rushes off.]
Rolf: Yes! Rolf will draw forth the pitchfork of retribution!
[Jonny sneaks away.]
Rolf: The Ed-boys shall riddle Rolf's rind no more! Wilfred! To the shed!
[Wilfred pops out of the ground in the playground and rushes towards Rolf, squealing as Sarah and Jimmy watch.]
Sarah: Pigs are so gross...
Jimmy: Golly gosh, Sarah, they're gonna hunt down the Eds! What on earth did they do?
Sarah: I don't know, Jimmy!
Jimmy: They kidnapped Nazz, Sarah! Think of what the others’ll do to them. It'll be worse than soap in your eye! Worser than polyester chafing!
Sarah: [Grinning] Let's have a picnic and watch!
[Beat]
Jimmy: Oh yay, Sarah! I wouldn't miss this Ed-thrashing for all the shoulder pads in the world!
[The two giggle, hold hands, and walk off.]
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[The car crashes down in the middle of a vast desert and bounces a few times before Ed regains control and continues running forward. Eddy adjusts the rearview mirror, then looks backwards. No one can be seen pursuing the Eds. Eddy smiles.]
Eddy: [Jumping on Ed’s head, grabbing Edd by the sides of his mouth and forcing his face into Edd’s] Ha! We lost ‘em!
[Eddy lets go of Edd and jumps back into the driver’s seat.]
Edd: [Looking back] How can you be so certain, Eddy?
Eddy: [Briefly putting his arm around Ed, then removing it] Those chumps'll never catch us now! From here on out, it's nothing but smooth sailing!
[The car slams into a giant rock. The rock tips over, lifting the car into the air and sending Eddy flying out the front onto the ground. There is a pause, then the car explodes, scattering debris all over the desert. Ed pokes his head and lower body way out of opposite ends of an exhaust pipe and sees Eddy's three hairs sticking up from inside a car door. Ed quickly runs up, pokes his arm out the side of the exhaust pipe, and rolls up the window lever. Eddy, flattened into the shape of a rectangle, pops out instead of the window. He then falls to ground and shatters into many pieces as Ed chuckles. Eddy then stands up, suddenly unharmed, and looks around for a moment.]
Eddy: [Forcing his face into Ed’s] Way to go, lummox! The only rock for miles, and you had to hit it!
[Meanwhile, Edd’s seatbelt has kept him in his seat, which is hanging by a spring from a piece of the car still on top of the rock.]
Edd: Seat belts certainly are a trusted friend.
[Edd’s belt suddenly gives way, and he plunges to the ground, crying out in shock. Ed n’ Eddy stare at Edd, who lies still for a moment. Suddenly, Edd jumps up and begins freaking out.]
Edd: I’ve followed all the rules!!! Lived a life of decency and principle!!! So why didn't I trust my instincts!? That one day these short-sighted sophomoric shell games would GO. TOO. FAR!!!
[Ed bursts out of the exhaust pipe and dives behind Eddy.]
Ed: Double D's dark side makes my armpits sweat, Eddy.
Eddy: [Shoving Ed away] What doesn't?
[As Edd continues ranting in the background, Nazz begins forcing her way out of the trunk, which has fallen on the ground nearby, the lock having come undone in the collision.]
Edd: Lost souls are we, gentlemen!!! Doomed for eternity...
[Edd collapses on the ground.]
Nazz: [Rubbing her side] Owww.....
Eddy: [Pulling Edd into a sitting position by his hat] Lighten up, Sockhead. Hasn't Eddy always steered you right? Don't answer that.
[Eddy laughs.]
Ed: Uh, guys?
Eddy: Hey, quit interruptin’, monobr -- uh.
[The Eds see Nazz, who turns around and sees the Eds as well. There is a pause as everyone stares at each other.]
Nazz: [Angry] HEY!
[The Eds cry out in fear. Nazz tries to leap out of the trunk, only to trip and fall on her face. She quickly gets up again and charges at the Eds, who promptly scatter. Nazz skids, turns and charges at Eddy.]
Nazz: GET BACK HERE, YOU--!
[Nazz leaps at Eddy, who quickly leaps aside, causing Nazz to fall on her face again. She gets up and resumes chase in this manner for a short while, but it seems the Eds are too fast for her. She stops and thinks, then gets an idea.]
Nazz: Hey, Ed! Buttered toast!!!
Ed: [Stopping and looking around] Where???
Edd: Ed, No!
[Nazz takes advantage of Ed’s lapse in concentration and screams with rage as she leaps at him. Unfortunately, it seems Ed is to strong to be knocked over so easily, and Nazz simply slams into his front instead. Undeterred, she grabs onto him, trying to find some way of inflicting damage.]
Ed: [Panicking] Aah! Get it off! Get it off!!!
[Ed begins running around in blind panic, dragging Nazz along with him, forcing her to hold on for dear life.]
Nazz: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Eddy: Calm down! Ed!
Edd: Aah!
[In his panic, Ed accidentally runs right into his friends. The Eds and Nazz all crash-land into part of the wrecked remains of the car. After a moment, the Eds pull themselves out of the wreckage, nursing their wounds.]
Eddy: [Muttering] Oh, I swear, Lumpy, one these days I’m gonna...
Edd: Oof...
[Edd looks around.]
Edd: Wait... where’s Nazz?
[Ed stands up and turns around, revealing that Nazz has been flattened underneath him by the collision. She then peels off and falls to the ground, unconscious.]
Edd: Oh no, oh no, oh no... Eddy, what are we going to do?!
[Eddy pauses for a moment, thinking. He then gets an idea.]
Eddy: Ed, tie her up.
Edd: WHAT!?
Ed: Okey-dokey, smokey!
[Ed pulls some rope out of his jacket, lifts Nazz’s unconscious body off the ground, and carries her off. Later, Nazz’s eyes begin to open as she regains consciousness. The Eds can be heard bickering in the background.]
Nazz: Unh...
Edd: Is this really what we’ve been reduced to, Eddy!? TAKING HOSTAGES!?
Eddy: Hey, I don’t see you coming up anything better, sockhead!
Edd: Anything would be better than this!!!
Ed: Ooh! Ooh! I know! [Acting out his plan] We could stick her in a vat of marmalade, pencil shavings, and Crisco. By shaking, the insipid concoction will affect her brain, thereby turning her into a friendly mutant walrus who will give us safe passage. I read it in ‘Attack of the Mutant Squirrel Pirates from the Planet Zarvox’!
Eddy: Shut up, Ed.
[Nazz recovers and looks around, realizing she has been strapped to the rock by four pieces of rope, each tied to one of her limbs on one end and an object embedded in the rock on the other. These objects include a ruler, a curtain rod, a large stick, and a pool cue.]
Nazz: Hey! Get me down from here, you jerks!
Eddy: Well, well, well, look who’s finally awake.
Edd: Eddy...
Nazz: I mean it, dude! [Straining against her bindings] Let... me... go!
Eddy: Why, so you can attack us again? As if!
Edd: Eddy, please!
Eddy: Sockhead... !
Edd: So what, we’re just going to leave Nazz here to starve!? Think of how the others will react, Eddy!
Eddy: Ok, ok, fine! If it’ll get you off my back... [To Nazz] Look, we’ll let you free on one condition, alright? We ain’t gonna free you unless you promise to calm down and leave us be. Deal?
[Nazz glares at Eddy.]
Eddy: ... Look, there’s three of us and one of you, exactly what do think you’re going to accomplish here?
Nazz: ... Fine. Just, just get me down, ok!?
Eddy: Ed, get her down.
Ed: If you’re sure, kind sir!
[Ed begins untying Nazz.]
Nazz: About time, dude...
Eddy: There. [To Edd] Happy now?
Edd: Oh, sure, Eddy, I’m please as punch! I mean, we’re only stuck miles from any form of civilization, with no supplies or nourishment, and we likely still have an angry horde coming after us our to give us our just desserts!!! And may I point out that the likelihood of that eventuality has shot up considerably, now that we’ve effectively KIDNAPPED ONE MEMBER OF THE AFOREMENTIONED ANGRY HORDE?! Eddy, what on earth are we going to do?!
Eddy: Jeeze, lighten up, wordsmith. [Putting his arm around Edd.] Just put your trust in ol’ Eddy. I’ll think a’ somethin’!
Nazz: Oh, this oughtta be good...
Ed: Oh, oh! If I might partake in this chat? Could we not joineth the circus? Eddy could be the world’s...
[Ed grabs Eddy and pulls him offscreen. Edd winces at the ensuing spectacle.]
Eddy: Hey! Ow! Stop! It doesn't go that way!
[Ed sets Eddy on the ground, his body contorted into the shape of an elephant.]
Ed: ... Shortest elephant!
[Nazz struggles to hide her amusement at Eddy’s predicament.]
Ed: And you, Double D, can be the clown! Oh! Oh! And Nazz can be the LION TAMER!!!
[Ed begins running around on all fours, acting like a lion. He approaches Nazz, roaring at her.]
Nazz: Hey! Get away, you doofus!
Ed: [Stopping, pleased with himself] See, guys???
[Edd stops and thinks for a moment.]
Edd: I guess one could get used to the confining nature of tights...
Eddy: [Contorting himself back into shape] Talk about stupid!
[Eddy suddenly grabs Ed n’ Edd by the collars of their shirts. He then spins them in circles in the air, bringing them together such that their backs collide and they land in a sitting position. As he does this, Eddy leaps into the air himself and lands lying down, balanced across Ed n’ Edd’s backsides.]
Eddy: If we're goin’ anywhere, I know a place so out of the way, it's practically invisible.
[Edd briefly tries to remove Eddy’s foot from his back, but becomes distracted as Eddy pauses, waiting for his friends to ask for more details.]
Edd: Dare I ask?
[Edd face-palms, then turns to Eddy with a faked grin.]
Edd: And?
Ed: [Excited] Yeah, Eddy. And?
Eddy: And...
[Eddy stands his friends back up, grabs them by collar again, then spins himself around that all three Eds are standing side-by-side.]
Eddy: If any of those losers find us there, they'll be mailed back to Peach Creek in a body cast.
[Nazz’s curiosity becomes piqued upon hearing this and she tries to sneak closer so as to get a better listen.]
Ed: Where we goin’, Eddy?
[Eddy runs a few feet away, then stops. He turns his head to face his friends with a sly grin on his face. After a moment, he suddenly leaps into the air.]
Eddy: My big bro's place!!!
[Nazz’s eyes widen upon hearing this and she immediately begins thinking quickly. Edd, however, appears more disappointed with this announcement.]
Edd: Eddy, I have my doubts your brother would offer us sanctuary--
Eddy: [Standing on Ed’s head, pulling Edd’s face close to his] What, are you kiddin me!? We're kinda connected! Like twins!
[Eddy lets go of Edd’s face and begins waving his fingers over his head as if he were psychic.]
Eddy: Brain wave stuff! He's talkin’ to me right now! Heh heh...
Ed: [Dancing on the spot] Oh boy, oh boy!
[Eddy leaps off Ed’s head and into the air as Ed holds out his arms. Eddy lands on Ed’s hands and uses them like a diving board, leaping through the air and landing in a handstand. He then stands up.]
Eddy: Ha-ha! [To Nazz] Hey, you’re welcome to tag along if you want!
[Nazz recovers from being lost in thought.]
Nazz: Oh, uh, yeah, dude, as thrilling as that sounds... not interested. I’m going home.
[Nazz begins to leave. Eddy, suspicious, quickly stands in her path.]
Eddy: ... And just where do you think you’re going?
Nazz: Dude, get out of my way!
Eddy: You wouldn’t happen to be heading back to warn the others of what we’re up to, would ya?
Nazz: [Shifty] What? Dude, no! I told you, I just wanna go home. Is that alright???
Eddy: [Sly, getting out of Nazz’s way] Well, fine, if that’s all you want, feel free to leave...
Nazz: [Annoyed] I will, thanks!
[Nazz begins to walk off again.]
Eddy: Good luck finding your way home, though! I mean, you did spend the entire ride out here locked in a trunk, after all!
[Nazz freezes. She looks around. All that can be seen for miles is dessert -- Nazz has no idea how to get back to the Cul-de-Sac. She quickly marches back up to Eddy.]
Nazz: Ok, one of you doofuses better show me how to get back to the Cul-de-Sac, or else I’ll--
Eddy: You’ll what? Haven’t we already been over this?
[Nazz stutters, looking frustrated.]
Eddy: Look, no matter what you do, we’re going off to find my bro. Isn’t that right, fellas?!
Edd: ... Um, I guess.
Ed: [Waving] Hi, Eddy!
[Beat]
Eddy: [Annoyed] ... Ignore them. The way I see it, you got two options -- either you wander around aimlessly through the desert, or you come with us. Choice seems pretty obvious to me!
Nazz: ...
Eddy: Hey, if you come with us, I’ll put in a good word with my bro for you!
Nazz: ... Oh, fine, whatever! [Sarcastic] Let’s go find your brother, Eddy! But as soon as I have some way of getting back home, I’m turning around and leaving, understand?
Eddy: Yeah, sure, whatever. Big bro, here we--!!!
Nazz: Hold on...! Do you really I’m going to go off on some quest to find your brother wearing a box??? I’m changing first, dude!
[Nazz heads behind the rock.]
Nazz: [Briefly poking her head out from behind the rock] And no peeking!!!
[An excited, mischevious grin spreads across Eddy’s face.]
Edd: Ed, tie him up.
Ed: Yes-Siree-Bob, Mr. E., um... Bob!
[Ed pulls more rope out of his jacket, grabs Eddy and ties him up.]
Eddy: Hey! Leggo of me!!! [To Edd] ... Killjoy.
Edd: Ed, why do you even have so much rope?
Ed: Emergency provisions, Double D!
Nazz: Ok, ready.
[Nazz emerges from behind the rock in slow motion. She is no longer injured and she is wearing her normal clothes, as well as a red bandana with white polka dots to cover her missing hair. The Eds all blush.]
Eddy: [Snapping out of it] ...Wait, where were you even keeping those clothes? [Shaking his head] Oh, who cares... Big bro’s a-waitin’!
[Eddy suddenly bursts out of his bindings.]
Eddy: BIG BRO, HERE WE COME!!!
[Eddy runs off happily.]
Ed: Eddy's brother’s gonna be so cool!!!
[Ed runs off as well.]
Nazz: Hey! Wait up!
[Nazz follows, leaving Edd alone. Edd watches them go, then looks back at the wreckage of the car. Reaching into his hat, he pulls out his labeller and uses it to make a label as he walks towards the remains of the trunk. He then places the label on the trunk -- it reads “OUT OF ORDER”.]
Edd: There. [Running after the others] Wait for me, fellooooows!
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[Rolf is is in his backyard, rummaging in his shed and placing a mountain of items on Wilfred’s back.]
Rolf: Downtrodden rabbit radishes! Where are the Duke of Deli Meats' hearty edibles?
[Meanwhile, in Rolf’s front yard, a long red hedge unfurls like a carpet. Jonny peeks out of it and looks around. He than darts over to and tries to hide under the Chckers board in his front yard, knocking over the bottles of soda and wood varnish. He then crawls off to his backyard, still staying “hidden” under the checkers board. In his backyard, Jonny pauses next to a swing-set hanging from a tree. After confirming that no one is around, he leaps out from under the checkers board and begins to swing nonchalantly while humming. Slowly, he stops swinging and looks from side to side. Spying nobody, he yanks on one of the swing’s ropes twice. The swing responds by ascending into the tree, and another one descends in its place, carrying dolls of Jonny and Plank. Up in the tree, Jonny reaches into a bird's nest and feels around, examining the eggs. He then flips open one of the eggs, revealing a button inside, which he presses. A secret door opens in the tree in front of him. Inside is an elevator, which descends six floors and opens into a large, dark, underground chamber. Jonny then turns on a lamp built from a branch sticking out of a watermelon, with a watermelon-print lampshade. Next, he picks up a large magnet, which pulls the bear trap off his head. Finally, Jonny proceeds to descend down a spiral staircase with watermelon-shaped steps. At the bottom is a large open chamber with a watermelon design on the floor. Jonny then runs to opposite end of the chamber, where two watermelon-shaped chairs have been set up over trap-doors. He sets Plank in the smaller chair and spins it around it circles, then sits in the other chair and spins it around as well. The trapdoors then open, dropping Jonny and Plan further underground. Shortly thereafter, the top of a tree stump in Jonny’s backyard flips open, revealing Jonny and Plank’s superhero alter-egos, Captain Melonhead and Splinter the Wonderwood. As usual, Splinter is attached to the end of a broomstick carried by Captain Melonhead.]
Captain Melonhead: Shed a tear, 'cause Captain Melonhead and Splinter the Wonderwood are here!
[Captain Melonhead leaps onto a trampoline and bounces off into the air, only to slam into a fence. In the process, his head gets lodged between the boards.]
Captain Melonhead: Ooooh...
[After a moment, Captain Melonhead manages to free himself, popping out with such force that he slides along the ground. In the process, Captain Melonhead’s helmet becomes twisted so that the eyeholes are now on the side of Captain Melonhead’s head.]
Captain Melonhead: Holy Toledo, Splinter! My Melon-Vision! It's gone!!!
[Captain Melonhead wanders around, confused.]
Splinter the Wonderwood:
Captain Melonhead: ... [Scratching his head] Who's an idiot?
Splinter the Wonderwood:
[Captain Melonhead twists his helmet back into position. He quickly grabs his sidekick and takes off, running into the street and jumping along the tops of houses.]
Captain Melonhead: It's Melon time!!! Boop-ba-daaaaa, hoo-hee-hee-ha-ha-ha!
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[Kevin is tearing down the road on his bike, looking for the Eds. Passing the school, he reaches a turnoff and takes it, heading into countryside.]
Kevin: I’m comin’ for ya, Nazz. Those twerps won’t know what hit ‘em when I’m through with ‘em. They’re gonna wish they never even LIVED in Peach Creek...
[A bug suddenly hits Kevin in the face. He tries to ignore it, only to be hit by a few more.]
Kevin: Dumb bugs. Yeesh... [Eyes widening] Woah.
[Up ahead is a gigantic cloud of flies. Kevin hits it at full speed and goes straight through it. When he comes out of it, he is blanketed in flies. He quickly begins losing control of his bike.]
Kevin: [Trying to rub bugs out of his eyes] Gah!
[Kevin begins skidding all over the path, screaming. He eventually crashes violently into a shed in the middle of a peach orchard and falls off his bike, which crashes off-screen.]
Kevin: [Picking himself off the ground] Owww...
[Kevin looks up, only to react with alarm at the sight of something.]
Kevin: Oh, man! I'm so sorry!
[Kevin rushes for his bike, which is in bad shape now.]
Kevin: It was totally my fault! This can't be happening... my bike's thrashed!
[Kevin heaves his bike upright. The front of the bike falls to pieces. Kevin quickly collects the parts and begins to work on it.]
Kevin: [Putting the fork of the bike back into place, and tightening it with a wrench] Come on, come on...
[Kevin quickly grabs the wheel and puts in place in the fork. However, it won’t stay in place.]
Kevin: Darn it! Man, I could really use one of those hairpin things right now... Nazz might have one, but--
[Kevin pauses. Suddenly, his eyes widen. Standing in front of him is what appears to be Nazz. She looks blurry and faded, and her hair is noticeably undamaged.]
Nazz?: Helloooo, remember me?
[Nazz? fades away. Kevin pause, considering what he just saw.]
Kevin: [Shaking his head] ... What am I doing?! Nazz is in trouble and I’m sitting here worried about my bike! What is wrong with me?! Gah!!!
[Kevin smacks his forehead is frustration. He then looks around, distressed. After a pause, he quickly grabs a twig off the ground and uses it to hold the wheel of his bike in place, tying it into a small knot.]
Kevin: [Putting the pedals back on the bike] Ok, think, think... I need to figure out where those foul-ups took off to so I can head ‘em off. I'm pretty sure they won't be going back to the cul-de-sac. Not after what they did. So, what would a group of cowardly twerps do after fleeing their due punishment with a hostage? Well, cowards run and hide, right? So who's the one person in the world that Eddy trusts, besides his two loser pals...? Hmm...
[Kevin pauses, thinking.]
Kevin: His brother? Ah, that little twerp wouldn't have the--
[Kevin pauses briefly.]
Kevin: [Pleased with himself] That's it! They're going to Eddy's brother's place!
[Kevin smiles, contented.]
Kevin: [Eyes widening in horror] ... HOLD IT! Eddy’s brother?! He’ll MURDER me if he finds out I’m after his little brother!!! And if they still have Nazz captive when they get there...
[Kevin looked deeply afraid of the potential consequences.]
Kevin: Gah, I’m wasting time!!! I gotta get those dorks before they get there... if they get there before I get there, they'll never get theirs, and Nazz might get... no, I can’t think like that! Just gotta get to those dorks first. [Menacing] Then they’ll be sorry, mark my words...
[Kevin sets off again, a fair bit more slowly now due to his damaged bike.]
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[Rolf is trundling across the desert atop a mountain of items bound together by large amounts of rope, all of which has been strapped to Wilfred’s waist, some of the rope being used as reigns. He is wearing an old-fashioned farmer’s hat and a rabbit’s pelt in lieu of a shirt. Also, the hole in his side has been stitched up, and he is wielding a pitchfork. Wilfred is sniffing at the ground, following a trail of prints, one half of which are left-footed shoe-prints, the other half of which are right-footed footprints. Rolf then spots a glint in the distance and leaps off the mountain of supplies, the pitch fork in his mouth. He then sticks his face in Wilfred’s.]
Rolf: [Quietly] We must not be seen, for the Ed-boys will surely flee, Wilfred! Lay low, and follow Rolf's posterior!
[Rolf crawls along the ground, followed by Wilfred. They approach the source of the glint--the wreckage of Eddy’s brother’s car. Upon getting close, Rolf then suddenly leaps out from behind the rock.]
Rolf: [Waving the pitch fork around wildly] ED-BOYS!!! SLA-HURR! SLA-HAAH! [Gibberish] DON'T EVER! DO THAT! AGAIN! [More gibberish]
[Rolf pants with exhaustion. He then looks around and sees that the only other being present is Wilfred, who is staring at him. He pauses.]
Rolf: ... The Ed-boys think they have played Rolf as a phony-baloney. But they have yet to feel the wrath of THIS SON OF A SHEPHERD!!!
[Rolf uses a key to unlock a suitcase amidst his tower of items. He then roots through the contents, taking out an old-fashioned chest with a latch which he then opens, revealing six eggs on a bed of straw. He takes one out and examines it, looking around thoughtfully. He then puts on a pair of strange-looking, steampunk-ish goggles and approaches the steaming engine of Eddy’s brother’s car, which he examines with the goggles. Next, he cracks the egg and opens it over the engine, dropping the egg shells on the ground where they get eaten by Wilfred. After examining the egg frying in the hot sun, Rolf then walks over to one of the car seats, takes out a canteen, and pulls the cork out with his mouth. He then pours oil out of the canteen on to the seat. Upon emptying the canteen he spits the cork out of his mouth, causing it to wind up lodged in Wilfred’s nose. After a moment, Wilfred begins squealing, distracting Rolf from his investigation of the car seat.]
Rolf: Wilfred!!! You interrupt Rolf's study!!! Do you think this is party time for 1999!? NO!
[Rolf takes out a muffin and begins dabbing it in the oil. He then examines it.]
Rolf: Ah-ha...
[A dinging noise is heard, turning Rolf’s attention back to the egg. which has been cooked sunny-side up. He then feels the egg, picks it up, lays it on top of the muffin, and examines it, removing the googles so as to get a better look. Suddenly, Wilfred squeals and rams him from behind. Rolf, now stuck to front of his luggage, drops the muffin, which Wilfred then scrambles over to and eats.]
Rolf: [Dropping back down to the ground] Wilfred! Has your think-box collapsed!? Do not eat Rolf's tell-all! Back, I say!
[Rolf begins pushing a squealing Wilfred away from the muffin, grunting with effort as he does so. However, Wilfred eventually overpowers him and rushes forward, pushing Rolf with him.]
Rolf: Wait. Wilfred! AHH-hoo-hoo!
[Rolf goes flying backwards and slams into the car's trunk.]
Rolf: [Pulling himself off the trunk] Cursed swine... Consider yourself stricken from the annual son-of-a-shepherd custard bake-off!!!
[Rolf pauses for a moment.]
Rolf: Enh? Ah, captive Nazz-girl’s prison chamber! What’s this, now?
[Rolf examines the trunk, discovering the "Out of Order" label Edd stuck on it earlier. He peels it off as Wilfred eats the remainder of the egg. Rolf then grabs Wilfred by the snout and holds the label up to Wilfred’s nose.]
Rolf: Rolf will have the Ed-boys on a spit by nightfall...
[Rolf squeezes Wilfred’s snout to make him sniff the label.]
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[The Eds and Nazz are tromping through a grassy field.]
Ed: Can your brother send me brain waves too, Eddy???
Eddy: If only you had a brain, Ed!
Ed: C'mon, Eddy, have a heart!
Edd: Courage. Courage, Eddward!
Nazz: There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home...
[Eddy kicks open the latch to a gate with a sign reading “Private Property”.]
Eddy: [Opening the gate] Yee-haw!
[Eddy passes through the gate and begins walking down a hill. Ed follows, only to run into the air. After a moment, he falls and begins bouncing violently down the hill, though he does not seem particularly upset by this. Meanwhile, Edd and Nazz stop near the entrance to the gate.]
Edd: ... Private property? Um, fellows!
Nazz: You’re wasting your breath, dude. [Holding her nose] ... What’s that smell?
[Nazz continues past the gate. Edd hesitates for a moment, then nervously sticks his foot beyond the threshold. He then steps the rest of the way in. After a moment he begins to pursue the others.]
Edd: Wait! Stop!
[Edd turns back so as to shut the gate, then continues his pursuit.]
Edd: Come back! People, please, we're trespassing!!!
[The hill leads into a cow pasture. Ed continues bouncing as Eddy reaches the bottom of the hill.]
Eddy: Trespass, schmespass. It's a shortcut.
[Ed bounces to the bottom of the hill where he crashes into a stick protruding from the ground. It slingshots him backwards into the hill and breaks. Eddy catches the broken stick out of midair and continues walking while Ed uses his bare foot to lift his head off the ground. He then notices the cows and looks around in awe as Nazz reaches the bottom of the hill.]
Ed: Look, guys!!!
[Eddy uses the stick to decapitate a flower as Ed rushes around, in awe of the cows.]
Ed: Moo-moos there! Moo-moos everywhere!!!
Nazz: So that’s where that smell’s coming from...
Eddy: My bro's owns a billion cows! A regular stampede of ‘em.
[Awed, Ed runs after Eddy. A large number of flies then leave the cows they were hanging around to pursue Ed.]
Nazz: [Watching the flies] Yuck...
[The flies settle above Ed's head as he approaches Eddy.]
Ed: [In awe] Your brother's got moo-moos, Eddy???
[Eddy waves the flies away with the sick as Nazz and Edd catch up. A few of the flies return and resume floating above Ed’s head as he watches them.]
Edd: Haven't we poked and prodded fate enough for one day, Eddy? [Whispering] I’m frightened...
Eddy: [Putting his arm around Edd] Poor little ol' Sockhead. You're so neeve.
[Eddy walks off.]
Nazz: ... “Neeve”???
Edd: ... I think he meant to say “naive”.
Eddy: [Pointing at Edd] That too.
[Eddy does a small pole-vault with the stick then resumes walking.]
Eddy: My big bro would never let anything happen to me, and I'll tell you what, I’ll put in a good word for you guys. [Pointing at Nazz] Don’t worry, that includes you, too!
[Eddy chuckles.]
Nazz: Yeah, well, we’d better find him soon...
Edd: Why, Thank you Eddy! Your brother certainly is a kind, upstanding, and generous human being.
Ed: [Putting his arms on Edd and Nazz’s shoulders] He's got moo-moos, guys!
[Ed removes his arms from Edd and Nazz’s shoulders.]
Edd: Yes, well... what's our estimated time of arrival to your brother's sanctuary, Eddy?
[Eddy stretches his arms.]
Eddy: Beats me. I don't know where he lives.
[Edd and Nazz both stop dead as Ed n’ Eddy continue onward. Edd is the first to recover from the shock and immediately rushes over to Eddy and walks in front of him.]
Edd: Pardon!? Are you saying all this time you've been leading us to nowhere!?
Eddy: [Using the stick to lift Edd by his hat and move him aside] Nope. I'm taking you to my bro's house, smart guy. [Throwing the stick away] You just have to figure out where it is.
Ed: Oho, let me, Eddy! I have a good figure!
[Ed rushes after Eddy while Edd clutches his forehead in frustration. Ahead, Eddy jumps on a bush, flattens it, and begins walking up a hill while Ed jumps into view from behind the hill.]
Ed: The hills are alive, Eddy!!!
Eddy: Yeah, with the sounds of an idiot.
Nazz: [Standing at the top of the hill with her arms outstretched, preventing Ed n’ Eddy’s progress] HOLD IT! The whole reason you convinced me to come along on this ridiculous quest of yours was because my only other option was to wander around aimlessly!!!
Eddy: Yeah, so?
Nazz: So... how is this any better!?
Eddy: ... Because we’re not wandering around aimlessly? Sockhead’s a smart guy, he can figure out where my bro lives.
Nazz: [Spluttering incredulously] Oh, you are the most irresponsible... !
Eddy: Look, we’re not gettin’ anywhere just standing here chatting, are we? So, we might as well just keep going!
Nazz: NO! I am not taking one more step!!!
Eddy: ... You know, you’re really startin’ to get on my nerves...
Edd: [Running up and standing in front of Eddy] I’m afraid Nazz has a point, Eddy. At the very least, we should try to deduce your brother’s whereabouts before we wander off to who-knows-where!
[Eddy moves right next to Edd.]
Eddy: [Smugly] Forget to pay the brain bill?
Edd: But Eddy, your brother's always been somewhat of an enigma! I've got nothing to go on!
[Eddy darts underneath Edd’s legs and resumes walking. Edd covers his crotch in embarrassment.]
Eddy: Better hurry up! Big bro's a-waitin’!
[Edd facepalms. Nazz grabs him by the shirt.]
Nazz: [Desperate] Please, Double D, please tell me you’ve got enough sense to see this is going nowhere! We should just turn right around and head straight back to the Cul-de-Sac. Please tell me you see that!!!
Edd: [Nervous] Well, er, I-I-I, um...
Ed: Oh, oh, Eddy!
[Ed suddenly tries to run through Edd and Nazz’s legs as Eddy did, only to knock them both over in the process. As their heads get stuck in the ground, Ed runs over to Eddy and grabs him by the leg.]
Ed: Do you think I could get your brother's autograph?
[Eddy chuckles and pulls his wallet out of his pocket, sending some dice and a playing card falling to ground in the process. He then opens the wallet and pulls out a postcard from “Mondo A-Go Go”.]
Eddy: Ta-da!
[Eddy flips the postcard around, revealing it to read “To: Pipsqueek; Having a blast! - Big Bro” and to be addressed to to “Pipsqueek; 220 Rethink Ave.; Peachcreek”. Eddy then points to where “- Big Bro” is written.]
Eddy: Like this one?
Ed: [Awed] Eddy's brother's autograph!
[Ed smiles, then takes the card from Eddy.]
Ed: Thank you!
Eddy: Give it back, Ed! My brother sent me that postcard!
[Edd pulls his head out of the ground. It is encased in a clump of dirt, prompting him to grab a root sticking out of the dirt and pull it down like a zipper, freeing his head. As he does this, Nazz struggles to remove her own head from the ground. Eventually it pops free and bounces around like a bobble-head. She quickly grabs it to stop the bobbling as both she and Edd turn to face Ed n’ Eddy.]
Eddy: [Scrambling up the inside of Ed’s shirt] You're gonna wreck it!
[Eddy reaches his arm through Ed’s sleeve and begins grasping at the postcard. Ed flails around, causing various items falling out of his jacket, including an apple core, a yo-yo, a crayon, and some more rope.]
Ed: [Distressed] Autograph, Eddy!
Eddy: [Sticking his head through the neck-hole of Ed’s shirt] I’ll autograph your head with my foot! Gimme it!
[Edd takes the postcard.]
Ed: Dive, captain, dive!
[Ed n’ Eddy fall to the ground as Edd examines the postcard.]
Edd: A postcard? This could provide the very clue we need!
Nazz: Oh, you gotta be--!
[Nazz facepalms, only to stop and think for a moment. She then looks at Edd, an idea forming in her head.]
Nazz: Hmmm...
[Meanwhile, as Ed lies on the ground, Eddy sticks his body out of Ed’s jacket and examines his arms, looking for the postcard. He then sticks his head down Ed’s sleeve only to be hit face-first with a disgusting stench. He recoils in disgust and squeezes Ed’s sleeve to keep back the odor as Edd walks past, examining the postcard carefully and mumbling to himself. Edd then pulls out a magnifying lens as Eddy jumps off Ed and runs after him, leaving Ed to turn his attention to the crayon on the ground.]
Eddy: Hey! Gimme that!
Edd: [Examining the postcard with the magnifying lens] A postmark should lead us directly to –- drat! It's illegible!
[The postmark is smeared. Eddy pushes the postcard out of view, giving Edd a nice close-up of his angry face through the magnifying lens.]
Eddy: [Taking his postcard back] Gah! You probably smudged it.
[Eddy walks off. Edd briefly looks annoyed, then hears a noise and turns to see Ed drawing something with the crayon.]
Edd: May I borrow this Ed? [Taking the crayon] Thank you!
[Ed frowns. Edd begins to run off with the crayon, as Nazz walks up to him.]
Nazz: Hey, Double D, can I--?
[Edd, apparently not hearing Nazz, rushes away, causing her to look frustrated. As this happens, Eddy blows on the postcard and tries to brush dust off it before pulling out his wallet. He then glances around suspiciously before proceeding to tuck his postcard back inside. Suddenly, an udder slams into his face, causing him to drop his wallet. He removes the udder to see a drawing of himself on it with a moustache and the words “I ♥ Bro”.]
Ed: [Holding the cow above his head] I drew a picture for your brother, Eddy! Think he'll like it?
Eddy: Uh... [Walking away, brushing himself off] Hey, Sockhead, where'd ya go?
[Ed lets go of the cow and watches Eddy as he leaves. The cow promptly falls on him, the udder landing on his head. The cow moos, now lying on its back. Meanwhile, Eddy finds Edd sticking leaves to a spiderweb. Nazz joins them.]
Eddy: [Smugly] I take it your still comin’ with us?
Nazz: ... For now. But don’t think this changes anything, dude!
Eddy: Ah, lighten up a bit, will ya? Hey, Sockhead, what are you up to, anyway?
Edd: Eddy, I believe I’ve found a link with key communitives we’ve had with your brother!
[Edd places leaves labelled “Stink Bomb” and “Armanian Hot Sauce” next to leaves labelled “Facial Hair” and “Pranks”. He then uses the crayon to write on some more leaves, which he soon places in the web. At the centre of a web is a leaf labelled “Bro”.]
Edd: Among those, his shuddersome stink bomb recipes; his heinous hot sauces; oh, and my favorite, malicious misleading treasure maps; together with other contentious callous cons, lead me to suspect your brother's quite the jokester!
[Edd places the crayon in his ear.]
Eddy: You better believe it! He's the king, baby!
[Eddy places his finger on Edd’s shirt as Ed rejoins the group. When Edd looks down, Eddy twangs his nose.]
Edd: [Clutching his nose] Yes, well... [Letting go of his nose] Where could one groom this tendency to pranks and puerile practical jokes?
[After a moment, Ed gets an idea. He rushes forward and sticks an open comic book onto the web.]
Ed: I got it! It says so on my comic book: Pranks and puerile practical jokes at the Lemon Brook Gag Factory.
Edd: That's quite a coincidence.
Nazz: You’re telling me...
Eddy: [Ripping the comic off the tree and examining it] Lemon Brook?! [Angry] Bunch a’ mascot-hating, lemon-sucking–-
[Ed takes his comic back.]
Ed: Nuh-uh, Eddy. No autograph, no comic book.
Edd: That's it, Eddy! Your brother may very well work there! Or at the very least, be a regular customer!
Eddy: [Excited] I bet he's there right now!!!
Nazz: [Under her breath] Oh boy, here we go...
Ed: [Bouncing on all fours] Oh boy, oh boy! I forget what we're doing!
[Eddy looks disgusted.]
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[Sarah and Jimmy skip down the Cul-de-Sac carrying a picnic basket, giggling madly. They enter the lane, during which Jimmy falls behind and is briefly dragged along the ground. They then stop by a fence.]
Sarah: On three, Jimmy! One...
Sarah and Jimmy: ... two ... three!
[They toss the basket over the fence into the construction site. They then pick it up on the other side and resume running and giggling. This continues until they enter the woods, at which point Jimmy looks startled. He then slows down and stops, losing his grip on the picnic basket as Sarah gets ahead of him. She then stops and walks back over to him.]
Sarah: [Annoyed] What's the matter, Jimmy?
Jimmy: I'm not allowed to go in there, Sarah. I still have bad dreams, and my mom had to buy a mattress cover!
[Jimmy covers his face in his hands and shivers with fear.]
Sarah: [Rolling her eyes] Okay, but you're really gonna miss a doozy!
[Sarah skips cheerfully into the cause of Jimmy’s consternation: the Park n’ Flush trailer park. Jimmy hesitates.]
Jimmy: ... I hope Kevin knocks Eddy's teeth out! Wait for me, girlfriend!
[Jimmy runs after Sarah. Unfortunately, the path forks and Sarah is too far ahead of Jimmy for him to see her take the right path. Jimmy promptly runs down the left path, only to trip over a loose piece of machinery. He then bounces along the ground into a lawn chair. Bouncing off that, he flies through the air and lands in a wagon full of clothes. The wagon tips over and its handles get lodged in the ground, causing it to drop its load on the ground behind May Kanker, who is carrying laundry and dressed like someone on laundry day. She turns to the source of the noise as her sisters, dressed similarly, turn as well. Marie is standing on top of a rusty old washing machine filled with soapy water, which she is stirring with a paddle. Lee is standing on a crate and hanging clothes on a clothesline. Lee and Marie’s outfits are just as grungy as May’s.]
Marie: ... Oh, way to go, May!
Lee: Yeah! As if our laundry wasn't dirty enough! [Grabbing a bucket of clothespins] Quit holding up the line!
[Lee slings the bucket at May.]
May: [Ducking, angry] Watch it Lee!!!
[The bucket hits the wagon and boomerangs back to hit May in the back of her head. She stumbles around in daze for a moment.]
May: [Rubbing her head] That didn't even hurt.
[Marie hits May over the head with a giant bag labelled “soap”, causing her to fall backwards into the pile of clothes. A few clothes are flung into the air in the process as Marie throws the bag aside.]
Marie: [Catching the airborne clothes with the paddle] Get back to work, snout-face! My skivvies ain't gonna wash themselves.
[Marie puts the clothes in the washing machine and resumes stirring.]
Lee: [Chuckling] Snout-face. Good one, Marie!
[May picks herself up off the ground, looking annoyed. Jimmy peeks out from under the pile of clothes and shivers nervously as Marie uses the paddle to hand a wet undershirt over to Lee. Lee then throws the undershirt up to the clothesline and spits two clothespins at it. The clothespins perfectly pin the undershirt to the line. May then begins picking clothes off the ground, making Jimmy recoil in fright.]
May: If you guys weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do!
[May reaches under the pile of clothes and accidentally pulls Jimmy out from the pile.]
Jimmy: Oh, please! Don't hurt me!
[Surprised, May turns to look at Jimmy. She then drops the clothes in her hand and uses it to cover Jimmy’s mouth.]
May: [Presenting Jimmy to her sisters cheerfully] Looks like someone left something in their pocket!
Lee: [Walking over] What is it?
[Marie jumps down from the washing machines and examines Jimmy thoughtfully.]
Marie: [Poking Jimmy in the forehead] Looks like it's whats-his-face!
May: [Dropping Jimmy on the ground] Let's call him Dutch!
[The Kankers surround Jimmy.]
Lee: [Leaning in close, threateningly] A little far from home, aren’cha, Dutch?
[Lee leans back and laughs along with Marie as May leans in close.]
May: Uh-oh. Looks like Dutch needs a diaper!
[May forces Jimmy to lie on his back.]
Jimmy: [Worried] I'm fine, really, I am!
May: [Putting a diaper on Jimmy] Aw, he's squirming!
[May lifts Jimmy off the ground begins forcibly nursing him with a bottle of ketchup. Lee then grabs Jimmy by the leg and pulls him away, knocking the ketchup to the ground.]
Lee: [Holding Jimmy upside-down] Dutch ain't a baby.
[Lee drops Jimmy violently, causing him to spring off the ground and into the air. As he flails his arms around wildly, the diaper falls off. Lee then grabs Jimmy by the head and forces his face into hers.]
Lee: He's a big grown man!
[Lee sets Jimmy down. Jimmy gasps in disgust at his face having touched Lee’s and wipes his mouth with his sleeve.]
Lee: I bet he wants a date.
[Lee poses with her foot in the for a moment.]
Lee: ... WHERE'S MY FLOWERS, DUTCH?!?!
[Jimmy falls over in shock as Lee laughs.]
Marie: [Lifting Jimmy into the air and running off] Aw, my man doesn't need to give me any flowers.
[Marie drops Jimmy violently by the washing machine.]
Marie: He just needs to do my laundry!
[Marie laughs and runs off, then throws a large heap of clothes at Jimmy, who gets buried beneath them. He emerges with a bra on his head.]
Marie: Knock yourself out, Dutch!
May: [Grabbing Jimmy by the mouth, knocking off the bra in the process] Babies don't do laundry!
Lee: He's mine! [Grabbing Jimmy by the arm and pulling] Gimme my man!
Marie: [Grabbing Jimmy by the leg as May grabs the other leg] Laundry boy's all mine, Lee!
Lee: Back off, Marie!
May: Baby's mine!
[The Kankers pull on Jimmy’s limbs, stretching his body.]
Jimmy: I'm getting stretch marks!!!
[Jimmy's pants split from the strain, revealing teddy-bear-print underwear.]
Jimmy: AHHH! I just wanted to see Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy get clobbered!
[The Kankers abruptly let go. Jimmy’s limbs snap back and he gets tangled up in his retainer as he falls to the ground. The Kankers then surround him.]
Lee: [Menacing] What did you say about our boyfriends?
Sarah: None a’ your beeswax!
[The Kankers turn. Sarah, having arrived on the scene, sets her picnic basket down and glares angrily at the Kankers. Tears of gratitude fill Jimmy's eyes.]
Jimmy: My hero.
[The Kankers tackle Sarah offscreen.]
Jimmy: [Bouncing around and falling over] Leave her alone!
Sarah: Ah! Ah! AAAAHH!!!
Jimmy: What'd she ever do to you!?
[Marie has Sarah pinned to the ground.]
Sarah: [Struggling] Get off me, lemme go!
[Marie giggles. May grabs Sarah's head and holds it in place as Lee approaches.]
Lee: So none of our beeswax, huh? What a shame.
[Lee sticks her finger in her mouth for a moment then pulls it out. It is now covered with spit. May giggles in anticipation, and her sisters join in. May then turns Sarah's head on its side as Lee holds her finger above Sarah, causing spittle to drip onto Sarah's cheek. Lee then jams her finger into Sarah's ear and begins swishing it around.]
Sarah: Eeeeeewwwwww, that's so groooooss!
Jimmy: [Flailing around in desperation] A WET WILLY!!! Oh, the horror!
Marie: So tell us, twerp!
May: What do you and Dutch know about our boyfriends!?
Jimmy: STOP! ENOUGH!
[Lee removes her finger as Jimmy uses his arms to rush over to the Kankers.]
Jimmy: The Eds did something really bad! Something big happened, and then they kidnapped someone! Now everyone's angry, chasing after them to give them their just desserts! [Crying, clutching Sarah and burying his head in her chest] I'm such a snitch!
May: [Worried] Did you hear what Dutch said???
Marie: [Angry] Ain't nobody beating up on my man but me!
[Lee thinks for a moment.]
Lee: Grab the two squirts, girls! We're gonna need ‘em...
[Sarah and Jimmy clutch each other and exchange a worried glance.]
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[Edd is wandering through a field of sunflowers, fiddling with a makeshift sextant and muttering to himself.]
Edd: [Examining the sextant] Hmm...
[Nazz walks up to Edd.]
Nazz: Hey, Double D --?
[Eddy laughs from offscreen, interrupting Nazz. Nazz quickly steps aside as Eddy runs up to Edd and grabs him by the shirt.]
Eddy: Hey, Double D! [Running back the other way as Ed runs up] Check this--
[Ed n’ Eddy crash into each other and fall over. They quickly resume laughing regardless as Edd winces empathetically.]
Edd: Oh, um... cute.
Nazz: Not exactly the word I’d use.
[Edd turns to leave.]
Nazz: So, Double D, I --
[Eddy inadvertently interrupts Nazz again by running up to Edd and grabbing him by his hat. Nazz face-palms in frustration.]
Eddy: No, no, not that! This!!!
[Eddy uproots a sunflower and slams it into Ed's face. Ed stands there, dazed, his head covered in sunflower petals, as Eddy throws the sunflower stem aside and laughs. Edd clutches the sextant as if trying to protect it from Eddy.]
Eddy: Uh-oh!
[Eddy cheerfully runs off as Ed runs around on all fours, trampling sunflowers.]
Ed: I am the mighty Agamassan! Lion from outer space!
Eddy: [Overacting] Don't bite me! Oh, Agama... uh, whatchamacallit!
Edd: [Chuckling] Agamassan. A porous substrate. How apropos.
[Edd resumes examining the sextant, and begins to calibrate it]
Nazz: Uh, yeah, whatever, dude. So, as I was saying...
[Edd looks as if he’s about to respond to Nazz when Eddy suddenly shows up again, standing on a rock and examining the sextant. Nazz looks like she wants to cry out in frustration.]
Eddy: What's that stupid thing? [Taking the sextant] Can you see cartoons in it?
[Eddy walks off with the sextant as Edd follows him, trying to retrieve it. Nazz, looking supremely frustrated, follows as well. Eddy then spins the sextant on his finger.]
Eddy: It's a weed-whittler!
[Eddy holds the spinning sextant up to Edd who moves back, accidentally bumping into Nazz. He quickly looks apologetic and nervous as Ed arrives. Eddy then smiles evilly at Ed.]
Ed: [Hoisting his leg into the air, then dropping it] I will eat you now!
[Ed acts as if he chewing on something. Suddenly, Eddy holds the still-spinning sextant up to Ed’s face. After a moment, Eddy pulls back the sextant, only to discover Ed’s head has disappeared. Concerned, Eddy looks down Ed’s shirt’s neck hole, only for an arm to suddenly reach out of it and grab him by the head, lifting him into the air. This causes Eddy to cry out in shock and drop the sextant, which Edd quickly retrieves and flees with, as Ed sticks his head out of his jacket’s armhole.]
Ed: [Cheerful] Gotcha, Eddy!
[Eddy chuckles as Edd fixes the sextant and Nazz rolls her eyes at Ed n’ Eddy’s antics.]
Nazz: Lunatics.
Edd: [As Ed n’ Eddy wrestle off-screen] Nazz is absolutely correct; this may be all fun and games to you two, but I’ll have you know that your merrymaking nearly cost us this sextant!
[Nazz’s eyes widen in shock as Ed and Eddy freeze mid-wrestling match. Ed is lying on his back and has bitten down on Eddy’s legs as Eddy holds onto one of Ed’s legs.]
Eddy: [Chuckling, pulling his one leg out of Ed’s mouth] You catch that, Ed? [To Edd] Ah, the what? [Pulling his other leg out of Ed’s mouth and letting go of Ed’s leg such that he is now standing on Ed’s stomach] I missed that. What's it called?
Edd: It's called a sextant.
[Ed begins to giggle as Edd speaks.]
Edd: An astronomical instrument used to --
[Edd stops, looking confused as Ed n’ Eddy giggle, while Nazz covers her mouth with her hands as her face begins to screw up.]
Eddy: [Walking up to Edd] Again, sorry, I missed it. What's it called?
Edd: [Grinning as Eddy makes an excited face behind his back, which Eddy quickly stops making as soon as Edd turns back to him] It's commonly known as a sextant, Eddy --
[Ed and Eddy burst into laughter. Nazz turns her back on the others while struggling desperately not to break out laughing herself. Edd continues to look confused.]
Ed: Say it again, Double D!
[Edd thinks for a moment, then flushes with embarrassment upon realizing what the others are laughing about.]
Edd: Oh my! [Walking off] Uh, you won't be giggling when this... unnamed device... triangulates our position and gives us a precise heading to the true direction of the gag factory.
Eddy: Wanna bet?
[Eddy stops, and turns to see Nazz still struggling not to laugh. Meanwhile, Ed spins a sunflower between his hands until it takes off into the air like a helicopter.]
Eddy: [Approaching Nazz, smug as ever] Not quite so above it all, there, are ya?
Nazz: [Unconvincingly] What? I, I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, dude.
Eddy: Oh, please, you were laughing just as much as the rest of us.
Nazz: A-as if! [Walking off] Like I’d laugh at something so immature.
[Eddy watches her go, looking mildly annoyed. He then rejoins the group.]
Edd: [Looking through the sextant] But in order for me to calculate our bearings to the gag factory, I'll need --
[Edd walks into a brick wall belonging to a large building. The sextant falls to pieces as Edd falls over. Nazz and Eddy examine him as Ed floats in, suspended in midair by some helicopter-sunflowers he has tied to his arms and rear. After a moment, however, his weight proves too much for the sunflowers and he falls onto his stomach. He then looks up at the building ahead.]
Ed: LAND HO!
[Ed points to a loading dock for the building, which features a sign reading “Lemon Brook Gag Company”.]
Eddy: This is it!!!
Ed: GAG FACTORY, YAY!
[Eddy pulls Ed aside begins trying to open the doors as Ed falls onto his back. Edd and Nazz run up.]
Edd: Sanctuary at long last!
Nazz: [Awed, blushing despite herself] I can’t believe it...
Eddy: HEY BIG BRO!!!
[Ed stands back up. Eddy jumps backwards and springs off Ed’s back.]
Eddy: IT’S ME! EDDY!
[Eddy begins rushing off, looking for another doorway.]
Edd: Perhaps the front doors will yield a response!
[Eddy stops, then turns around.]
Eddy: [Rushing towards the front of the building, briefly grabbing his friends as he passes them] Good idea! I forgot my big bro hates back doors.
Ed: Me too! We are so alike!
Eddy: Yeah, right.
[Eddy skids around the corner of the building, leaving a mark in the dirt. Ed runs over, runs in a circle, then begins running backwards after Eddy. Edd runs after them as well, only for Nazz to rush after him in turn.]
Nazz: [Grabbing Edd by the shoulder] Double D, wait!
[Edd stops running and turns to face Nazz.]
Edd: [Flushing slightly] Um, yes, Nazz?
Nazz: Hey, before we go inside, can I --
Eddy: [Suddenly popping up] SEXTANT!
[Nazz suddenly breaks out in laughing while Edd turns bright red. Nazz quickly catches herself.]
Eddy: Gotcha!
Nazz: Grr, shut up!!!
Eddy: Hey, c’mon! Time’s a-waistin’!!!
[Eddy grabs both Edd and Nazz and pulls them off towards the factory entrance.]
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[Rolf arrives in the cow pasture, still riding on his mountain of supplies. Wilfred is sniffing the ground, following the Ed’s scent. Rolf and Wilfred then step through the gate. Upon reaching the hill, however, Wilfred begins to lose his balance, causing the pair to slide rapidly down the hill. At the bottom, Wilfred spins around for a moment before managing to regain his footing. As he resumes walking, Rolf looks around.]
Rolf: Hmm... Wilfred, look! What barbarian would allow their secreting vessels of flesh to wander the field? Rolf fears a omen has befallen us...
[Rolf pulls on Wiflred’s reigns. Wilfred squeals and stops. Rolf then throws a wooden bucket onto the ground.]
Rolf: [Climbing down to the ground] Guard the provisions. Rolf will interrogate this caboodle of bovine discourse.
[Rolf climbs down. As he does so, he accidentally opens a bag, knocking a string of sausages loose. They dangle in front of Wilfred, who sniffs them and begins to walk after them while trying to bite them. Meanwhile, Rolf wanders the field, carrying the bucket. He eventually spies an extremely overweight cow lying on its side, munching on grass.]
Rolf: Hal-lo.
[Rolf lifts the cow with his back, such that the cows udder now faces the bucket. He then milks the cow, as Wilfred continues to wander off the in the background. Rolf then sets the cow back down, grabs the bucket, and begins chugging the milk, pausing briefly to catch his breath as he does so. He then smacks his lips, in thought.]
Rolf: The interrogation is complete, Wilfred! Nothing to fear.
[Rolf suddenly notices something in front him and freezes. After a moment, he leaps into the air and cries out in shock. Lying on its back directly in front of Rolf is the cow on who’s udder Ed scrawled his drawing for Eddy’s brother.]
Rolf: [Grabbing the udder and examining it] Has the world lost its mind!? The Ed-boys now have desecrated the sack of sustenance!
[Rolf grabs the bucket of milk and storms off.]
Rolf: Son-a-ma-gun!!! Come, Wilfred! ... The Ed-boys must not escape!
[Rolf pauses, realizing Wilfred is nowhere to be seen. He begins looking around.]
Rolf: Wilfred! ... Wilfred? ... WILFRED!!!
[A couple cows glance at Rolf, then return to grazing.]
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[The front doors of an abandoned factory are seen from the inside. Suddenly, indentations in the shape of Ed’s head begin appearing in the left door. Eventually, his head breaks through the door entirely.]
Ed: [Laughing] Knock knock! I! AM! ED!
[Eddy kicks the door Ed is lodged in open. He then rushes into the building, followed by Edd and Nazz, as Ed tries to free himself from the door.]
Eddy: Where is he?! Do you see him?
[The factory is completely dark and non-operational. Ed rejoins the others.]
Eddy: [Shouting excitedly] Where ya hidin’ at, ya big lug???
[The door to the factory closes. Everyone stands in silence.]
Ed: OLLIE OLLIE OXEN FREE!
[Ed begins running through the factory.]
Ed: [Stopping to examine some boxes] Oh, look! Boxes stuffed with stuff...
Eddy: [Running over to near where Ed is] Bro! It's me, Eddy! You know... [Quietly] Pipsqueak?
[Eddy looks around.]
Eddy: Where is everybody?!
[Nazz covertly wipes her brow, looking relieved, yet also somewhat disappointed.]
Nazz: I don’t think he’s here, dude.
Eddy: [Wandering around] Yo, Double D, are you sure this is the gag factory? 'Cause I ain't laughin’!
[Ed rummages around in a large container, then extracts himself from it, now wearing a pair of glasses with comically-oversized eyeballs attached to the lenses.]
Ed: [Cheerful] Looks gaggy to me, Eddy.
[The eyeballs fall out of the lenses of Ed’s glasses and dangle on springs.]
Edd: Ed, comic book, please.
Eddy: Man that joke's old!
Edd: Exactly! [Reading Ed’s comic book] This publication was printed over ten years ago!
Ed: [Fixing the eyeballs] Revolt of the Rotting Brains! A classic!
[The right eyeball falls out again.]
Eddy: [Frustrated] This comic's useless!!!
[Eddy grabs the comic book from Edd and throws it into the air.]
Ed: Eddy!!!
[No longer wearing the glasses, Ed gallops around, searching desperately for his comic book.]
Ed: Oh where, oh where has my rotting brain gone???
Eddy: We're hooped!
[Eddy collapses face-first to the dusty floor.]
Eddy: [Despairing] We'll never find my brother, Double D!
Nazz: [To herself] You don’t say?
Edd: Never say never, Eddy. Perhaps old customer receipts or employee records will unearth a clue to his whereabouts...
Ed: CHOO-CHOO!
[Ed rushes over, pushing a heavy wooden crate into Eddy.]
Ed: Oh, look! Boxes stuffed with stuff!
[Ed begins rummaging in the crate. Eddy’s lower body is trapped under the crate while his upper body is flattened against the side. His still-flat face then peels off and hangs behind his body. His body peels off as well shortly thereafter, causing his face to be buried under his body.]
Edd: Not again! Ed! We'll never make headway if you keep rummaging for--
[Ed hits Edd in the face with a rubber chicken, knocking him to the ground.]
Ed: CHICKENS, DOUBLE D! Oh, I love them to death I do!
Eddy: [Grabbing the rubber chicken and holding it up as Edd lifts himself from the ground, rubbing his head] Can't have a party without a rubber chicken, Double D! Big bro says so.
Edd: Edifying.
Nazz: [Rolling her eyes] You recovered quickly, dude.
Eddy: What’s that supposed to mean???
Nazz: Nothing, nothing...
[Edd approaches some stairs as Eddy drops the rubber chicken.]
Edd; [Walking up the stairs] While you two do that, I’ll go examine the factory's filing cabinets and see what I can find.
[Nazz looks as if she’s found the opportunity she’s been looking for. She quickly follows Edd up the stairs.]
Nazz: I’ll go with you, Double D!
[While Ed resumes rummaging around in the crate, Eddy pauses, looking suspicious.]
Eddy: Why do you need to... ?
Ed: Ooh! Ooh! Lookit, Eddy!
[Distracted, Eddy dives into the box and begins rummaging around himself.]
Eddy: What else you got in there, lummox?
[Edd approaches the door of an office at the top of the stairs. He tugs on rubber gloves and a surgical mask and stands in front of the door, looking vaguely menacing. He then enters, Nazz following him in. As the door shuts behind them, the lights switch on. Meanwhile, Ed is still rummaging in the crate while Eddy extracts himself from it, looking mischievous. He then holds his arm behind his back, something hidden in his hand.]
Eddy: Oh, Ed...
[Eddy holds out a package of gum to Ed.]
Eddy: Gum?
Ed: [Removing himself from the crate] Lucky me!
[Ed grabs a stick of gum from the package. The gum then proceeds to give him a severe electrical shock. As he is shocked, he briefly takes on the forms of his various alter-egos of his from throughout the series, including Fish Ed, a hotdog, Glippo Show Ed, the Peach Creek Cobblers mascot, Lothar the Viking, Old Man Ed, and Baby Ed. He then falls over, onto his back.]
Eddy: [Laughing uproariously] What a chump!!!
[Eddy continues laughing, only to suddenly grab his stomach, dropping the fake package of gum in the process.]
Eddy: OH! Ugh! My stomach, Ed! I think I'm gonna--
[Eddy makes a vomit noise and tosses some fake vomit onto the floor.]
Ed: [Picking up the fake vomit] Pardon me, miss. But I think you dropped your lunch!
[Ed throws the vomit into the air. It falls back down to the ground.]
Eddy: [Laughing] Hey! Quit tossin’ my cookies!
Ed: [Laughing as well, while sitting next to the fake vomit] I upped your chuck, Eddy!
Eddy: Looks real, don't it?
Ed: No! Heh, no home should be without one, Eddy!
[They break into raucous laughter, rolling around the ground. Upstairs, Edd stands on the lowest of three filing cabinets so to as to examine the files in the topmost one. In the background, Nazz is pretending as if she is looking around the office as well, only to repeatedly glance at Edd as if waiting for just the right moment. Edd then briefly loses his balance on the filing cabinet, but regains it and resumes leafing through the files. He finds a file marked “EMPLOYEES” and opens it, only to look disappointed by the contents. Tipping the file to the side reveals why: the contents of the file are so old, they have crumbled into dust. They spill out on to the floor.]
Edd: Goodness...
[Edd places the file back in the cabinet and shuts it, causing it to spew a cloud of dust in his face. He waves his hand in front of his face, coughing. He then steps off the filing cabinet and walks over to a trashcan which is lying on its side. He promptly turns the trashcan upright and deposits his face-mask inside it. Nazz then approaches him, clearing her throat.]
Nazz: Hey, Double D, can I ask you something?
Edd: [Flushling slightly again] Oh, uh, yes, you-you did seem to be trying to get my, uh, attention earlier. What, what is it you wish to ask me?
Nazz: Why exactly are you friends with those guys?
[Edd freezes, looking unsure how to respond.]
Edd: Uh, well, I-I-I, uh, why, uh, shouldn’t I be?
Nazz: Dude, come on. They’re irresponsible, immature, idiots. All they’ve done this whole trip is goof off and act like morons, leaving you to do all the work. Do you really think they care about your well-being? All they care about is following whatever ridiculous new idea pops into their heads, regardless of who gets hurt in the process.
Edd: Well, I, uh, I-I mean...
Nazz: Dude, you know as well as I do that this whole plan to find Eddy’s brother is going nowhere. We’re just gonna keep wandering around with no idea where we’re actually going until we all collapse of exhaustion. The smart thing to do here is go back to the Cul-de-sac, and I think you know that.
Edd: What, what are you proposing?
Nazz: That we do just that. Go back to the Cul-de-sac. Together. Just you and me. If those two dimwits want to keep wandering off to nowhere, then let them. I mean, who cares what happens to them? They obviously don’t care about you, dude.
Edd: I, I, uh...
Nazz: [Advancing on Edd flirtatiously] Aw, come one, Double D...
[Edd backs away, blushing furiously and looking like a deer caught in the headlights.]
Edd: Er, um, I...
Nazz: [Starting to get annoyed] Look, you guys have caused the rest of us nothing but trouble with your ridiculous “scams”. I’m giving you a chance to make up for that, ok? So why don’t you do the smart thing and come with me???
Edd: [Rushing away from Nazz] I-I-I-I can’t!!! I.. I’m sorry, Nazz, but... I just can’t do that...
Nazz: [Dumbfounded] What??? Why not!?
Edd: Because... despite everything... they’re still my friends, and I... and I can’t just leave them like that...
[Nazz looks completely and utterly disbelieving.]
Nazz: ... Well, fine, then. If that’s what you want, dude...
[Nazz walks off to the door of the room and opens it.]
Nazz: [Coldly] But when the others catch up with us and you get lumped in with those two doofuses, don’t come crying to me.
[Nazz slams to door to the office shut, leaving Edd standing there, looking unsure if he did the right thing. She then storms off down the stairs, grumbling to herself. Ed n' Eddy have disappeared. The crate is on its side, spilling packing pellets onto the floor. There is also a bucket spilling some pink substance lying on the floor, as well as a fake flower which has spurted a large volume of ink. Nazz, however, doesn’t notice any of this. Suddenly, as Nazz walks past an alcove, an arm reaches out, grabs her, and pulls her in. Back in the office, Edd stands there for a moment, then glances back at the dusty filing cabinet. He promptly pulls out his labeller. A moment later, he exits the office.]
Edd: [Removing his gloves and putting them in his pocket] Nazz, wait, I... Nazz?
[Nazz is nowhere to be seen, as are Ed n’ Eddy. Edd looks around.]
Edd: ... Eddy?
[Edd walks back down the stairs, examining the remains of the crate Ed n’ Eddy were rummaging through earlier.]
Edd: Ed? ... HELLO???
[Nobody replies. Edd begins wandering around the factory.]
Edd: Oh, for Pete's sake. If this is some kind of foolish joke you're playing, it's not funny!
[Edd begins getting fearful as he continues searching for the others.]
Edd: ... Eddy? ... Ed? ... N-Nazz?
[Suddenly, A gear wheel rolls out from a gap between two machines. Edd approaches the gap and looks through it nervously.]
Edd: Is anyone there?
[Eddy steps out. He has a hatchet buried in his head.]
Eddy: RUN, DOUBLE D!!! Save yourself...
[Eddy falls down onto his back.]
Edd: EDDY! THIS CAN'T BE!!!
[Edd stumbles backwards into Ed, who has a fork through his head and stark white eyes.]
Ed: If looks could kill, I'd be dead.
[Edd screams with pure terror.]
Ed: [Laughing while running over to Eddy, revealing the fork as a mere toy] AAH! OH-ho-ho! Help me! Help me! I'm Double D!
[Eddy joins in the laughter as Ed continue to run around.]
Eddy: [Lifting the hatchet, revealing it to be fake] It's a gag, see? [Still laughing] What'd ya, fall off the back of a truck?!
Nazz: [Thoroughly unamused, emerging from between machines] Can I come out now?
Eddy: [Between laughter] Yeah, yeah, sure!
Edd: Um...
Nazz: They made me stay hidden so they could pull this idiotic prank on you.
[Nazz gives Edd a significant look, making Edd look uncomfortable. Ed then pokes him on the shoulder.]
Ed: Ah-haw, we're sorry, Double D! [Holding out a can labelled “Jelly Beans”] ... Jelly bean?
Nazz: Uh...
Edd: [Taking the container, pleased] Why, thank you, Ed. These should prove quite comforting, and I am a bit peckish.
[Edd tries to open the lid. It doesn’t budge. He tries again, harder this time, with still no luck. Ed covers his ears excitedly as Eddy rushes over and hides behind him, also looking excited. Nazz merely smacks her forehead in frustration.]
Edd: A stubborn lid, this.
[Edd strains with all his might and finally breaks the seal. The others back away.]
Edd: Ah! Success.
[Outside, the factory bulges and spews a tremendous amount of rubber snakes through one of its chimney stacks. The stack is severely damaged as snakes shoot out of it into the air, like fireworks. The snakes then rain down over the nearby landscape. On a road nearby the sunflower field, Kevin is still slowly biking along when the snakes suddenly rain down around him. He swerves his bike slightly and stops, then picks a snake up off the ground.]
Kevin: What the... ?
[Kevin looks up, spotting the factory in the distance.]
Kevin: [Eyes narrowed maliciously] Dorks...
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[Wilfred, still tied to Rolf’s mountain of supplies, is lying under a tree by some bushes and is chewing on the sausages. The sunflower field can be seen nearby, as can the cow pasture.]
Rolf: HELLOOOO?
[Wilfred perks up.]
Rolf: WILFRED?
[Wilfred poke his head through the bushes and looks around. He sees Rolf searching for him.]
Rolf: [Stepping over the fence to the cow pasture with one of his shoes held behind his back] Rolf is so sad! This is true! Like the little shrinking-eggplant Jimmy-boy, Rolf cries and cries and cries!
[Rolf smacks the shoe against his hand a few times. At this, Wilfred's eyes widen, and he squeals loudly. Rolf hears this and turns just in time to see Wilfred charging at him.]
Rolf: [Frightened] Stay back, or you will meet Rolf's shoe!!!
[Wilfred tackles Rolf, knocking off his hat. Wilfred then begins attacking Rolf. Rolf drops his shoe and desperately tries to get away from Wilfred, who chases him around and bites him.]
Rolf: [Crying out in pain] Mama, assist Rolf! THE SOW HAS RUPTURED!!! Wilfred!!!
[Wilfred clamps down on Rolf's stomach.]
Rolf: Stop! Release Rolf!!!
[Rolf successfully pries Wilfred away from him, only for Wilfred to hang in midair above Rolf, supplies and all. Rolf winds up holding a wooden mallet.]
Rolf: No...
[Rolf's supplies fall on him and come free of their bindings, causing Rolf to grunt with pain. Wilfred wriggles out from the pile and runs away, squealing. Eventually, Rolf’s hand emerges from the wreckage, holding the mallet, which he drops to the ground. He then pries his body from the pile, now with a meat grinder on his head. He feels it and turns the crank to try and free himself. All he succeeds in doing is launching himself from the pile of supplies, after which the weight of the meat grinder causes his head to fall to the ground. He quickly stands up.]
Rolf: Wilfred?
[Rolf tries to pry the meat grinder off his head, only to lose his grip on it, causing his head to spring back into his body, knocking him over. He then tries to use his legs to pry it off, only for his head to spring back again, burying his upper body in the ground. His legs then flail about uselessly]
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[Rubber snakes can be seen lying all over the landscape of a wooded area nearby the Lemonbrook Gag Factory. Ed can be heard laughing in the distance.]
Ed: Oh-ho boy, Eddy. Did you see him go flying? [Laughing some more] He flew like a canoe!
[Ed, still laughing, pulls a snake out of a tree and holds it up.]
Ed: This doesn't even look like a jellybean!
[Ed laughs louder than ever as he throws the snake into the air and runs off. The snake spins in midair for a bit, then falls. Eddy walks up, annoyed.]
Eddy: [Removing the fake hatchet from his head] Just keep your eyes peeled, chuckles.
[Eddy tosses the hatchet offscreen and walks over to Ed. A grunt of pain and a thud can be heard from offscreen. Nazz then walks up.]
Nazz: You guys are jerks, you know that?
Eddy: Ok, are you just going to spend this entire trip complaining? It’s getting kind of old, frankly!
Nazz: Well, maybe if you stop giving me things to complain about, I’ll stop complaining!
Eddy: [Dripping with sarcasm] Oh, have I been giving you things to complain about??? I’m SO sorry!
Nazz: Why, you obnoxious little--
Edd: [Off in the distance] ASSISTANCE, PLEASE!!!
[Everyone looks in the direction Edd’s voice is originating from.]
Ed: [Running off] I think he flew over here, guys!
[Ed stops in the middle of a clearing.]
Eddy: [Running after Ed] Where???
Nazz: [Running as well] Huh?
Ed: [Running over to a tree as Nazz and Eddy keep running, cheerful] Heh-heh, What?
[Ed uproots the tree as Nazz and Eddy run back.]
Eddy: What?
Ed: Who?
Nazz: What???
Ed: Why? How! When.
[Nazz and Eddy face-palm.]
Edd: HEEELLLPPP!
Ed: Double D!
[Ed tosses the tree over his shoulder and runs towards the sound.]
Nazz and Eddy: Hey!
[The tree lands on Nazz and Eddy.]
Ed: [Lifting up a bush] Double D?
Eddy: Why you dirty--!!!
Ed: [Dropping the bush and running off] Tag! You're it!
[Eddy chases Ed to a cliff and grabs the neck of his jacket, in the process going over the cliff. He floats in midair for a moment as Ed obliviously begins to lose his balance.]
Eddy: You're dead!
Nazz: Hey, quit running off!
[Nazz runs in and accidentally collides with Ed, knocking all three off the cliff. The fake fork falls off Ed’s head in the process.]
Ed: [Briefly hovering in midair, waving his arms] Look, I'm Double D! I'm flying!
[Ed falls after the others, and they all land with a thud. Ed is then seen lying on his back on the ground near a river. He sits up, revealing Eddy to be stuck to his back, while Nazz is buried in the ground up to her neck beneath where Ed was just lying. Eddy promptly peels himself off of Ed’s back as Nazz pulls herself out of the ground.]
Eddy: [Glaring at Ed] Idiot.
Nazz: [Also glaring at Ed, dusting herself off] For once, we agree something.
[One of Edd’s shoes suddenly falls on Eddy’s head, knocking him over.]
Edd: GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!
[Ed and Nazz look up the cliff to a waterfall feeding into the river. Edd is hanging from a ledge on top of the waterfall by his hat.]
Ed: Hi, Double D!
Eddy: HEY SOCKHEAD, CAN YOU SEE MY BRO’S PLACE FROM UP THERE???
Nazz: Are you seriously still on about that!?
Eddy: Oh, what’s it too ya, huh?
Edd: [Angry] NO, I CAN NOT SEE YOUR BRO’S PLACE FROM UP HERE!!! Now get me down!
Eddy: [Running up a nearby rock] You heard him, lumpy!
[Ed joins Eddy on the rock.]
Edd: Hurry, please. I'm afraid I can't hold on for much longer, gentlemen!
Eddy: Hit him with something, Ed! Something big!
[Ed throws Eddy at Edd. He scores a direct hit. Edd's hat gets dislodged, and the two fall into the water at the waterfall's base, both screaming all the way down. As they land, they cause a massive splash which sprays water all over the vicinity and which very briefly reveals buried treasure at the bottom of the river. The spray of water drenches Ed and Nazz, Nazz being knocked over by the force of the splash.]
Ed: [Shivering] Co-ho-hold!
Nazz: [Through gritted teeth] Oh, today just keeps getting better and better...
[Ed slips off the rock and falls, landing on his head in a large puddle. He floats along the water, upside-down, for moment, then stops and grins as he sees Eddy pulling himself out of the river. Nazz stands up as Eddy drags Edd onto dry land with his upper lip, which has gotten wedged in the gap in Edd's teeth. Eddy then stands up, Edd being held in midair.]
Ed: [Impressed, running over] Fancy trick, Eddy! Where'd you learn to do that?
Edd: How mortifying...
Eddy: My big bro showed me!
Ed: Do tell!
Nazz: Oh boy, here we go again...
Eddy: Hey, shut up a sec, will ya???
[Eddy pulls Edd off his lip and set him down. Edd gags in disgust.]
Eddy: [Popping his collar and resting his arm on Edd’s head] Lemme tell ya, my bro's a whiz at harpooning whales!
Edd: [Upset] He is? Your brother is a whaler?!
Eddy: [Poking Edd in the nose] My mom's got fifty pounds of blubber in the freezer as we speak!
[Nazz rolls her eyes for the umpteenth time while Ed counts.]
Edd: You mean all this time--
Ed: That's more blubber than my mom's got!
Eddy: [Putting his arm around Ed] And he's got a peg leg too! But that's what you get for wrestlin’ walruses!
[Ed is in complete and utter awe.]
Edd: Eddy! If your brother is a whaler, then he must reside by the sea!
[Nazz freezes.]
Nazz: Oh, no...
Ed: How do we find it, Double D?
Nazz: Oh, for the love of god, no!!!
Edd: Er, well, um...
Eddy: Oh boy, here we go again...
Nazz: You guys are seriously coming up with another plan to find Eddy’s brother!? The Gag Factory was a complete bust, and yet you guys still want to go off on ridiculous journeys based on nothing??? What the heck is it going to take for you three idiots to realize we’re going nowhere here!?
Eddy: Well, maybe it would be easier for us if a certain someone would STOP GOING ON ABOUT IT!!!
Nazz: And what if I don’t?!
Eddy: Why, you...
[Nazz and Eddy glare at each other. Ed dives behind Edd in fear.]
Ed: Eddy and Nazz’s dark sides make my armpits sweat, Double D!
Edd: [Hastily, stepping between Nazz and Eddy] Er, uh, how about we all just calm down a bit, as I explain my, um, thinking.
Nazz: [Stepping aside] Ugh, fine, whatever!!! I don’t even care anymore!
Edd: Er, um, yes, well. So as I was saying, if Eddy’s brother is a whaler, he must reside by the sea. [Picking up a pinecone and placing it in the water as the others watch] Ergo, this stream will be a veritable highway that will lead us straight to his place of residence. We merely need to float upon the current, and it will carry us to its opening and Eddy's brother's retreat!
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[Nearby the cow pasture, an exhausted, beat-up Sarah has been outfitted with a makeshift horse collar made from a toilet seat. She is struggling to pull something tied to the seat by a combination of rope and power cords. Further along the line, the rope is tied to a rusty metal pipe around which Jimmy’s arms have been tied. Jimmy also looks exhausted and beat-up, and isn’t so much pulling as he is being pulled forward a few steps every time Sarah takes a few steps herself, his face smacking the ground as he goes. At the end of the rope is a wheelbarrow. Lee Kanker is standing barefoot at the front of the wheelbarrow, examining her surroundings with binoculars. Marie Kanker stands behind her, retrieving an apple from a picnic basket. May Kanker is sitting inside the Kanker’s washing machine, which is being used a lookout, having been tied to the top of a tower made from sticks. This tower is attached to the wheelbarrow at the bottom. Jimmy then loses his balance and falls over.]
Sarah: [Approaching Jimmy, concerned] You've gotta get up, Jimmy!
[Sarah kneels down and tidies Jimmy’s hair.]
Jimmy: I'm not gonna make it, Sarah!
[Lee suddenly grabs Sarah’s toilet seat. She is leaning over the side of the wheelbarrow, being held up by Marie.]
Lee: [Lifting Sarah and turning her around] Quit your squawkin’ and keep it movin’!
Marie: Yeah, you heard her! We got boyfriends to save.
[Sarah growls quietly, but then gets an idea. She smiles sinisterly for a moment, then turns around.]
Sarah: [Sycophantically] Gee, Lee, I love your toenail polish!
Lee: [Poking the seat, now standing on Jimmy’s pipe] I said move!
[Lee pauses, considering what Sarah just said. She then looks at her feet, wiggling her toes. Her toenails are bright red, but her feet are otherwise not looking in good shape.]
Lee: ... Isn't that adorable? The kid wants to be just like us! Aww...
May: [Pleased] Who doesn't?
Marie: [Now eating a croissant] She's kinda homely, if you ask me.
Lee: Nobody's askin’, Marie! [Handing Sarah a bucket of red paint and a paint brush] Here, kid. Knock yourself out.
Sarah: [Removing the toilet seat] Golly-gee-willikers! Thanks, Lee!
[Sarah grabs the paint bucket and proceeds to slam it down onto Lee's hand. Lee leaps into the air.]
Lee: YEEOOWWCHHH!!!
[Sarah brings the bucket up into Lee's chin. Lee goes flying backwards, bouncing a few times on the ground such that her hair poofs up and obscures most of her body.]
Lee: [Dancing on the spot, clutching her hand] We got chiselled, girls!
Sarah: [Lifting Jimmy's pipe] Move it, Jimmy!
Marie: I got ‘em, Lee!
[Marie dives at Sarah and Jimmy, grabbing the pipe. Sarah and Jimmy are dragged along the ground as the force of Marie’s collision causes the whole wheelbarrow to promptly go flying forward after them, causing the stick-tower to snap in the process.]
May: [Aiming a slingshot] Outta the way, Marie!
[The lookout tower falls out from under May and she tumbles through the air, onto the ground. Meanwhile, the wheelbarrow continues flying forward, passing over the pipe and colliding with both Marie and Lee. Sarah loses her grip on the pipe and is left behind on the ground as a screaming Jimmy continues to be dragged along behind the speeding wheelbarrow.]
Sarah: [Standing up] Jimmy!
[Sarah rushes to Jimmy’s aid as a bruised May picks herself off the ground. Sarah quickly grabs Jimmy's legs and manages to pull him free of the pipe. The wagon continues forward, slamming into a tree near the sunflower field, pinning Marie and Lee to it. Rolf’s supplies can be seen nearby, though Rolf himself is nowhere to be found.]
Lee: [Struggling to free herself] What a couple a’ brats! Urgh! Teach ‘em a lesson, May!!!
May: You bet, Lee!
[Sarah pulls Jimmy by the arm, desperately trying to escape May, who is chasing the pair in circles. Jimmy yelps in fear.]
May: I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha!
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[Captain Melonhead runs down the street, away from the cul-de-sac. Arriving at the candy store’s street, he swings a watermelon tied to the end of a rope through the air and throws it. It splatters on the sidewalk near a mailbox. Captian Melonhead then pulls the rope such that the watermelon is pinned to the side of the mailbox, after which he wraps Splinter’s broomstick around the rope and places it on the other side of the mailbox. Finally, he climbs on top of the mailbox, opens it, and looks inside. The mailbox contains nothing but mail.]
Captain Melonhead: No sign of those fiends here, Splinter!
[Captain Melonhead jumps across the street to the candy store. He then opens the dispenser of the gumball machine in front of the candy store and looks inside. It is empty. Melonhead’s eyes narrow.]
Captain Melonhead: [To Splinter] No Eds here!
Splinter the Wonderwood:
[Captain Melonhead holds Splinter up to his face.]
Splinter the Wonderwood:
Captain Melonhead: Whaddya mean we ain't gettin’ anywhere?
[Captain Melonhead is suddenly dragged down the street by Splinter’s broom.]
Captain Melonhead: We're takin the what??? Ahh!!!
[Splinter suddenly comes to a stop. Captain Melonhead’s momentum causes him to flip through the air, spin around on the spot, and land on his back. He then looks up and sees Splinter has brought him to a bus stop.]
Captain Melonhead: A bus?!
[Captain Melonhead backs away slightly from the bus stop.]
Captain Melonhead: My melon rind senses trouble, chum! ... [Reluctantly admitting] I’ve never taken a bus before.
Splinter the Wonderwood:
[Splinter backs Captain Melonhead into the bus stop’s sign.]
Captain Melonhead: Huh? Nothin’ to it?
Splinter the Wonderwood:
Captain Melonhead: Boy, Plank, you sure turn into a fireball when you're wearing a mask! Okay then -- if it means we bring down those three maniacs, we're takin’ a bus to justice!
[Captain Melonhead poses heroically by the bus stop, waiting for the bus to arrive.]
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[The door to the Lemonbrook Gag Factory suddenly flies open as Kevin bursts in. The factory is covered in rubber snakes.]
Kevin: I know you dorks are in here!!! Let Nazz go right now and I’ll only beat you within an inch of your pathetic lives rather than all the way!
[There is no response.]
Kevin: Show yourselves, or else!!! Don’t make me come find you!!!
[There is still no response.]
Kevin: Oh, you dorks just made a grave mistake...
[Kevin grabs his bike from just outside the entrance to the gag factory and wheels it in, closing the front door behind him. He then glances around, looking for the Eds.]
Kevin: ... Man, what’s these weird snakes? Feh... now if I was a snivelling, cowardly dirtbag, where would I hide... ? [Noticing the office, grinning evilly] ... Bingo.
[Kevin leaves his bike behind and heads up the stairs. He then kicks open the door, causing it to crumble to dust. The office is empty.]
Kevin: DARN IT! Argh, don’t tell me they’ve already left!!!
[Frustrated, Kevin begins looking around for clues.]
Kevin: [Examining a lamp] Hmm... they were definitely here at some point. I can just feel it!
[Kevin opens a drawer, his fist raised. Inside is a bunch of chattering fake teeth. He starts getting anxious.]
Kevin: Gah, there’s gotta be a clue around here somewhere!
[Kevin suddenly hears a noise from behind him.]
Kevin: [Turning] AHA!!!
[The noise is coming from a windup toy rat, which is running in circles. It eventually comes to a stop.]
Kevin: [Angry] ... What is this, a joke?!
[Furious, Kevin grabs the toy rat and throws as hard as he can at the office’s filing cabinets. It leaves a large dent. The collision causes the label Edd left on the cabinet earlier to peel off slightly.]
Kevin: [Noticing the label] Huh? What’s that?
[Kevin approaches the cabinet and peels the label off the rest of the way. It reads “DUSTY DUSTY DUSTY”.]
Kevin: [Reading the label] “Dusty dusty dusty”?
[Kevin pauses, thinking.]
Kevin: ... What is that even supposed to mean?! Ugh, I finally find a clue and it’s USELESS GARBAGE!!!
[Kevin throws the label to the ground.]
Kevin: Man, I bet if Nazz were here she could figure this out... I hope she’s ok...
???: Well, to me, it sounds like something Double D would say. Don'tcha think? The label, I mean.
[Kevin looks up, shocked. Nazz appears to be standing before him again. She is again blurry and faded, but not as much as last time. As before, her hair is undamaged.]
Kevin: [Shocked and relieved] NAZZ!!!
[Kevin rushes over to Nazz?.]
Kevin: Oh man, I can’t believe it! Is it really you??? Those twerps haven’t hurt you, have they?!
[Kevin goes to hug Nazz? only for his arms to pass through her body.]
Kevin: What the--? Nazz, what’s going on?!
Nazz?: Sorry, Kev. I’m not really here.
Kevin: What? But... but then where are you? What’s going on???
Nazz?: You’ve gotta find me, Kev.
[Nazz? begins floating backwards towards the door.]
Kevin: Wait, come back!
Nazz?: [Fading away as she flies backwards out the doorway] You gotta find me... !
Kevin: Nazz, wait!!!
[Kevin rushes to the doorway and looks around in desperation. Nazz? is gone. Suddenly, there is a creaking noise, and Kevin looks down. The floor beneath him then crumbles, and he falls. He lands on the switch to a machine, flipping it, and bounces off into a box full of whoopee cushions. The machine suddenly activates and the entire factory awakens, grumbling to life. The lights come on, and the factory’s conveyor belts begin to move, breaking some cobwebs that had become stuck to the parts.]
Kevin: [Pulling himself out of the box of whoopee cushions] Gah, what’s going on!?
[Kevin looks around, confused and disoriented. He then hears a noise and turns to the source. Nearby, a vertical conveyor belt designed to drop objects into a large metal funnel is activating. Unfortunately, Kevin's bike has been parked next to it. The bike is soon lifted up by one of the conveyor belt’s platforms.]
Kevin: [Panicked] Not my bike!!!
[Kevin rushes to his bike’s aid, but by the time he gets to it it is too high for him to reach it.]
Kevin: No, no, no, no, no!!! HANG ON!
[Kevin next rushes over to the lever he landed on and struggles to flip it back up. It won’t budge. He looks towards the conveyor; his bike is dangerously close to being dropped into the funnel.]
Kevin: Gah! I'm comin’, babe!!!
[The bike gets dropped into the funnel, but Kevin, hanging the edge of the funnel by his feet, grabs it at the last second.]
Kevin: Gotcha!!! Now I just need to...
[Kevin tries to pull himself back up with his feet, only for his foot to slip. Screaming, he tumbles into the funnel, bike and all.]
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[Ed n’ Edd are constructing a boat from wood and leaves, built in the likeness of a duck. Eddy is sitting by a nearby rock, under the shade of a leaf. The leaf has been taped to the rock and is held up by stick. Nazz sits nearby, looking as sour as ever.]
Nazz: I see you aren’t doing anything to help...
Eddy: Hey, I am helpin’ them! I’m directin’ the project.
Nazz: Or, in other words, you’re sitting on your butt while your friends do all the work.
Eddy: [Annoyed] Well, it’s not like you’re lifting a finger, either...
Nazz: [Sarcastically] I wonder why that might be? Oh, I don’t know... maybe it’s because I don’t actually have any interest in this idiotic quest of yours??? Or has that somehow escaped your notice?
Eddy: Well, ya know what? I offered to let you come with us, but I never said you had to do anything. If this really is all such a pain in the butt for you, maybe you should just leave and go home, ‘stead of spendin' all your time reminding us how stupid we are.
Nazz: Oh, believe me, I'd love to. Except, in case you've forgotten what you yourself pointed out to me, dude, I have no idea how to get back to the cul-de-sac. Unfortunately for both of us, wandering aimlessly with company is still mildly preferable to wandering aimlessly on my own, though I have to say, you guys are really making that a tough contest.
Eddy: Yeah, well, you ain't exactly been a barrel of laughs to be around either, you know.
Nazz: Oh, shut up.
Eddy: You first.
[Nazz and Eddy blow raspberries at each other.]
Ed: [Suddenly grabbing Eddy by the leg] Eddy!
[Eddy cries out in shock as Ed drags him off, laughing. He then holds him in front of the boat.]
Ed: It's a duck! See?
[Ed accidentally slams Eddy into the ground. Edd winces sympathetically as Eddy gets up, dazed, then shakes his head.]
Eddy: [Angry, to Edd] I thought you were making a boat!
Edd: And a boat it is, Eddy!
[Edd begins polishing the boat with a rag while Nazz walks up, examining it.]
Edd: [Proudly, putting the rag in his pocket] It mimics the common mallard in order to offer minimal disruption to the local fauna.
Eddy: [Excited] It's got a sauna???
Nazz: What, are your ears filled with wax or something???
[Eddy gives Nazz a look as Ed suddenly forces his head into Edd’s, resulting in Edd’s hat being partially on Ed’s head.]
Ed: Saunas make me sweat! More.
[Edd tries to get loose. He does, but in the process loses his hat and falls to the ground. Nazz’ eyes widen in shock at the sight of Edd’s bare head.]
Eddy: [Deliberately over-acting, clutching his eyes] My eyes! They're burning!
Edd: [His head covered by the boat] You stop that!
[Eddy smirks at Edd.]
Ed: Does it hurt, Double D?
Edd: [Reaching for his hat] Oh, sh--
Nazz: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?
[Everyone pauses and looks at Nazz. After a moment, a realization dawns on Edd. In a panic, he quickly grabs his hat from Ed and sprays it with air freshener. As he does this, his head is obscured by Ed’s. Ed then reaches through the neck-hole of his jacket to scratch the back of his head as Edd tugs his hat back over his head so far it obscures his eyes. He then flushes, embarrassed beyond belief.]
Nazz: Dude, that’s what you look like without--
Edd: WithoutwhatIhavenoideawhatyou’retalkingaboutcanwepleasetalkaboutsomethingelsepleaseandthankyou!!!
Nazz: But--
Edd: PLEASEIDONTWANTTOTALKABOUTIT!!!
Nazz: Ok, ok, geez!
[Nazz looks at Eddy who shrugs at her.]
Edd: [Stuttering] Ed! Boat! Drumroll! Please!
[Ed grins excitedly.]
Eddy: Whaddawe need a drumroll for?
[Laughing happily, Ed runs over, next to Eddy, and grabs the bottom of his shirt with his teeth. He then flips himself over such that his shirt is lifted up and his jacket is draped over his head. Ed then begins to play his belly like a drum. As he does so, Edd stands on a nearby rock, next to which is an empty soda bottle hanging from a tree by a rope. After taking a moment to regain his composure, Edd clears his throat and grabs the soda bottle.]
Edd: Yes, well... by the authority vested in me, sanctioned by moi, I hereby christen this seaworthy vessel, the esteemed, um... [Reading the writing on the side of the boat] ’S. S. Mutant Almost A Chicken Duck’???
[Ed laughs, pleased with himself.]
Eddy: I’m surprised you didn't run out a’ paint.
Edd: Stand clear, lady and gentlemen!
[Edd swings the bottle forward. However, it runs out of momentum just short of the side and hangs there, swinging. Eddy laughs as Edd flushes again.]
Eddy: [Jumping on the rock and putting his face in Edd’s] Hey muscles! [Jumping off the rock] Can we go now?
[Eddy grabs Ed and drags him over to the rock, leaving a trail in the ground. He then jumps on Ed’s head, and grabs Edd by his hat.]
Eddy: [Holding Edd over the boat] My bro'll make us eat a barnacle if we show up while he's watching Matlock.
Edd: Really?
[Eddy drops Edd into the boat.]
Ed: [Excited] He's gonna feed us, Eddy???
[Eddy uses Ed’s head as a springboard, allowing him to step onto the head of the duck-boat. An imprint of Eddy’s shoe is left over Ed’s left eye. Ed, not concerned with this, happily approaches the boat.]
Eddy: Heck yeah! He was the royal cook for the king of Englishland.
Edd: [Getting up] You mean England, Eddy.
[Ed begins climbing into the boat. Nazz reluctantly begins climbing in as well. Eddy scrutinizes her.]
Eddy: ... What, no snarky comment?
Nazz: Dude, you’ve made me run out them by now.
[Eddy rolls his eyes.]
Ed: Alley-oop!
[Ed grabs hold of the shoreline and pushes it back such that the boat is now floating in mid-air above the water. It then falls into the water, Ed crying out happily as it does. The boat then heads off down the river.]
Eddy: And away we go!!! It ain't nothin’ but smooth sailin’ straight to big bro's place, boys!
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[May rushes through the rubber snake-filled sunflower field, then stops and looks around.]
May: Where'd they go?
Lee: [Offscreen] YOU SEE “EM, MAY?
[Lee runs in, colliding with May from behind. Both fall to the ground, then bounce back up.]
Marie: [Running in] Watch your back!
[Marie runs into Lee from behind. May falls on her face.]
Lee: [Shoving Marie off her back] Get off me!
May: [Getting up] I coulda sworn they went this-a-way!
Marie: [Getting up as well, angry] You'd lose your head if it weren't nailed down!
May: [Forcing her face into Marie’s] My head ain't nailed!
[Above the Kankers, Sarah and Jimmy cower, clinging to the underside of a sunflower’s leaves.]
Marie: It's made of wood, ain't it?
May: No, it's not!
Marie: Yes, it is!
May: No, it's not!!!
[A ladybug crawls onto Jimmy’s arm. His eyes widen in fear as tries to move away. Sarah quickly clamps her hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming.]
Marie: Pinocchio head!
May: [Whining] Lee, Marie swore!
[Marie and May begin grappling, tugging on each other’s hair.]
Lee: [Grabbing them each by the throat] Why don't you two quit thinkin’ about yourselves...
[Lee slams her sisters together, then drops them roughly on the ground.]
Lee: ... and think about our boyfriends! They need us more than ever, girls.
[Sarah thinks for a moment, then reaches out and thwacks the ladybug with her finger. The bug flies off and rustles some sunflowers. Lee, hearing this, looks up.]
Lee: It’s those two runts!
[Lee grabs her sisters and throws them into the air before running off in the direction of the noise. Marie and May land violently, then stumble about in a daze.]
Lee: [Offscreen] Move it!
[Marie and May run off after their sister. With the coast clear, Sarah gingerly climbs down the sunflower, then pauses and looks off in the direction the Kanker Sisters ran. After a moment, she jumps to the ground.]
Sarah: [Quietly] I think they’re gone, Jimmy.
[Jimmy slides down from the sunflower, somewhat less gingerly than Sarah, landing somewhat roughly on the ground.]
Sarah: Shh! Let's get the heck outta here...
[Sarah and Jimmy crawl through the field, glancing around nervously. Suddenly, a loud snorting catches their attention.]
Jimmy: [Clutching Sarah] FOREST IMPS!
[Sarah pulls a leaf out of their view, discovering the source of the snorting -- it’s Wilfred, who is currently rubbing his body against a sunflower stem.]
Sarah: Ew, it's a pig!
[Wilfred stops and turns to look at Sarah and Jimmy.]
Jimmy: [Approaching Wilfred, pleased] That's Rolf's piggy, Sarah!
[Wilfred approaches Jimmy and begins sniffing him.]
Jimmy: Oh!
[Giggling, Jimmy begins patting Wilfred on the head.]
Jimmy: Hello, Wilfred!
Sarah: Don't touch it, Jimmy! Enough with the pig, let's just go.
[Wilfred sniffs at Jimmy’s pocket. Jimmy giggles again and pushes Wilfred away.]
Jimmy: He must smell the sweet aroma of my noon-time nibble! [Pulling a candied apple out of his pocket and unwrapping it] See? My candied apple, Sarah!
Lee: [Offscreen] Why's this place look familiar!?
[Sarah and Jimmy look in the direction of Lee’s voice, worried.]
Marie: That's 'cause we're just walking around in a circle!
[Sarah quickly grabs the apple from Jimmy. Soon, Sarah and Jimmy are riding on Wilfred’s back, Sarah using the candied apple to guide Wilfred out of the sunflower field. Wilfred repeatedly tries to bite at the apple as he carries Sarah and Jimmy off into the woods.]
May: But that would mean we're lost!
Marie: Pinocchio-head.
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[A bus pulls up to to the bus-stop on the candy store’s street. It's doors open to let Captain Melonhead and Splinter onboard.]
Captain Melonhead: [Starting to lose his nerve] Whoa!
[Captain Melonhead holds up Splinter, using him to drop five quarters into the farebox. The bus’ doors then close as the bus drives off. Captain nervously begins to walk down the bus, only to lose his balance, causing him to tumble down the aisle into a sea of adult legs. Upon colliding with a man’s legs, Melonhead drops Splinter offscreen and falls over, his body stuffed into his helmet.]
Captain Melonhead: [Getting up] Oh! Sorry mister. [Nervously] Buses sure pack a wallop, huh, Plank?
[Captain Melonhead suddenly does a double-take, his eyes widening as he realizes something -- Splinter the Wonderwood is nowhere to be found.]
Captain Melonhead: [Looking around] Plank? Uh.
[Captain Melonhead begins to search for his sidekick in the sea of legs.]
Captain Melonhead: Buddy? Quit freaking me out, Plank!
[Captain Melonhead stumbles into a woman's rear.]
Captain Melonhead: Oh! Sorry! Excuse me.
[Captain Melonhead begins wading through the sea of legs, somewhat more frantically than before.]
Captain Melonhead: Pardon me! Has anybody seen my pal?
[Captain Melonhead charges through a veritable jungle of legs, panicking as he looks around for his best friend. Upon reaching the front of the bus, he leaps at the farebox and clings it for dear life. However, upon looking up, he sees something unexpected.]
Captain Melonhead: Plank! Is that you?
[Splinter the Wonderwood is sitting in the driver’s seat of the bus, having commandeered it. The destination name changes from ‘160 DOWNTOWN’ to ‘VENGEANCE’ as the bus heads off down a crowded highway.]
Captain Melonhead: PLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNKKKKKKKK!!!!
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[The duck boat has crashed in a swamp, its head bobbing up and down in the water. Edd, n’ Eddy stand on a nearby log, watching it, Eddy holding his shirt at his side. Nazz sits on the log with the usual expression.]
Eddy: [Annoyed] Where's your fauna now, Mr. Duck Boat?
Edd: The collision was unavoidable, Eddy! It was the unpredictable current that proved unfavourable!
[A bug buzzes around Eddy’s head. He tries to smack it, then examines his hand to see if he got it.]
Eddy: Unbelievable. All I know is we're stuck in a swamp out in the middle of nowhere! [Tying his shirt around his head like a bandana] Big bro ain't gonna be impressed.
[Eddy slaps another mosquito on his stomach. Meanwhile, Ed rises from the swamp and cheerfully climbs up a nearby rock.]
Edd: Is that what you think? That I'm here to impress your brother? That I would forsake my home and family for something as trivial as-–
Ed: [Leaping off the rock, into the water] BUTTERED TOAST!
[Edd n’ Eddy look around at Ed as Nazz looks at them.]
Nazz: Oh, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he thinks, dude.
Eddy: [Smacking another bug on his face] I never said he had to do anything for buttered toast!
Nazz: Oh, you know what I meant, you idiot!!!
[Eddy rolls his eyes.]
Edd: You know, Eddy, perhaps what we should talk about is you and Ed's immature behaviour. I'm sure your brother’d like to hear about that.
[Ed’s eyes and unibrow float over the surface of the water, watching the others. They then sink ominously.]
Edd: Well, I'll have you know, if it hadn't been for my--
Ed: CROCODILE ATTACK!
[Edd, Nazz, and Eddy all look around. Suddenly, Ed leaps out of the water at Eddy as Edd and Nazz duck for cover.]
Eddy: Ed!?
[Ed knocks Eddy into the swamp. After a moment, they rise out of the water, play-fighting. Eddy is using his body to force Ed’s mouth open.]
Eddy: He's a mean one!
[Eddy suddenly snaps out of Ed’s mouth and falls into the water. Ed tackles him in again. After a moment, Eddy rises out of the swamp.]
Eddy: You dirty... [Holding up Ed, who has morphed into the shape of a handbag] Ah-ha!
[Eddy loses his grip on Ed who begins biting at him. Eddy laughs, running off further into the swamp.]
Ed: [Bouncing after Eddy] I will chomp you!
Edd: Wait! Where are you two going!?
Nazz: You know, now would be a perfect time to listen to me for once and ditch those two morons. Unfortunately, I think we both know what your answer’s gonna be.
[Nazz gives Edd a significant look. Edd looks unsure how to respond.]
Edd: ... L-let’s just, uh, go after them, shall we?
Nazz: [To herself] Yep. Big surprise.
[Edd heads off after his friends, Nazz reluctantly following him from behind. They tiptoe across various tiny islets, lilypads, and stones.]
Edd: Oh dear... a malodorous marsh is not a place of play, gentlemen!
[Edd and Nazz reach solid ground.]
Edd: DO YOU HEAR ME?
Eddy: Over here, Sockhead!!! Hey! Help me out of this molasses, it's trying to swallow me.
[Ed n’ Eddy are slowly sinking into a pool of wet sand. Eddy is wearing his shirt again.]
Ed: [Cheerful] Wiggle my toes, wiggle my toes!
Nazz: [Worried] Oh my god...
Edd: [Fearful] Make no sudden movements... you're sinking IN QUICKSAND!!!
Eddy: [Scared] QUICKSAND!?
[Ed n’ Eddy begin panicking, Eddy trying to force his way out of the quicksand by pushing off Ed.]
Eddy: Ed! We're done for!!!
Ed: We are so in manure!
Eddy: Immature, stupid, immature! Oh, man! We're really sinking now!!!
Ed: To all the girls I loved before...
[Ed goes under.]
Eddy: [Reaching into the quicksand] No!!! Ed!!!
[Eddy pulls Ed’s head out by his unibrow. Ed splutters and coughs.]
Eddy: Hang on, man!!! DOUBLE D!!!
[Ed n’ Eddy flail about in the quicksand, screaming, as Edd desperately begins gathering up horsehair plants. Nazz is frozen on the spot, unsure what to do.]
Ed n’ Eddy: DO SOMETHING!!!
Edd: Nazz!!! Please!!! HELP ME!!!
Nazz: [Recovering from her stupor] U-uh, r-right!
[Nazz begins helping Edd gather up horsehair plants, which they begin typing into ropes.]
Edd: Stay calm... don't panic...! ... I GOT IT!!!
[Edd and Nazz finish tying the horsehair plants into a rope with three loops, two of which are tied around around Edd and Nazz’s waists. Edd then rushes over to the quicksand pit while Nazz prepares to pull.]
Edd: [Throwing the remaining loop into the quicksand] Quickly, take hold of that--!!!
[Edd and Nazz freeze. The rope lands uselessly on top of the pool. Ed n’ Eddy have already sunk beneath the surface.]
Nazz: Oh no...
[There is long pause as Edd tries to process what’s going on.]
Edd: No. NO! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
[Edd kneels beside the quicksand and frantically searches through the mud.]
Edd: WHERE ARE YOU!? EDDY! ED! [Tearing up] OH, DON’T YOU GIVE UP ON ME! ANSWER ME!!! Please...
Nazz: [Covering her face with her hands] Dude... no way...
[Edd looks at his muddy hands then at the pit, eyes filled with tears.]
Edd: [Despairing, pounding the quicksand with his fists] Why, oh why, didn’t you listen to me!? [Sobbing, lying down such that his face is in the quicksand] This is all my fault! I should have never let you leave the cul-de-sa-ha-hac!!!
[Nazz approaches Edd with the hand outstretched as if to console him. She is starting to tear up as well. However, she then sees something which causes her expression to morph into one of disbelief and outrage. Ed’s arm then reaches out, handing Edd a disgusting-looking handkerchief. Edd reaches for it.]
Edd: Th-thank you, Ed. [Recoiling] Goodness, Ed, that's filthy!
[Edd's eyes bulge as a realization dawns on him. Ed n’ Eddy are in standing in front of him, grinning and covered in mud, but otherwise no worse for wear. There is a pause.]
Eddy: [As Ed waves at Edd] Gotcha!
[Ed n’ Eddy burst into laughter and fall backwards into the quicksand.]
Eddy: [Between laughs] Man, you're such a sap!!! This muck's only ankle deep!!! Can't sink in it!
[Edd stands up in the quicksand and looks down, raising one leg. It indeed only comes up to his ankles. He then begins untying the horsehair-plant-rope from his waist as Nazz glares at the other two Eds.]
Ed: Got that right, Eddy! [Hugging himself as Edd silently stomps off] Because sinks are Mother Nature's own cereal bowl!
[Eddy gives Ed a look. He then turns, realizing Edd has left.]
Eddy: Hey Sockhead, where ya goin’!? You got somewhere to be? What?
[Nazz unties the horsehair plant rope from her waist and shakes her head at Eddy, looking throughly disgusted. She then walks off after Edd.]
Eddy: Oh, what’s you’re problem now, huh!?
[Edd walks through the swamp until he reaches a dock. He heaves himself up onto it, dripping swamp-water everywhere. He then slips on his own puddle and falls on his face. After a moment, Edd gets up, slaps a label reading "Caution" on the puddle, and continues walking. The label drifts along the puddle. Edd then reaches a road going alongside the swamp as he places his label-maker back inside his hat. He is soon joined by Nazz.]
Nazz: Glad you finally came to your senses, Double D.
[Edd does not respond. Ed n’ Eddy reach the road not long after and begin running after Edd.]
Eddy: [Grinning, calling out to Edd] HEY! WHERE YA GOIN’? YOU’RE HEADIN’ BACK INTO THE SWAMP! [Reaching for Edd's shoulder] My bro don't live--
Edd: [Slapping Eddy’s hand away] Don't you dare touch me!!!
[There is a brief pause. Edd then suddenly advances on Eddy, who grins as if this is all a big joke.]
Edd: [Grabbing Eddy by the shirt] A sap!? Well excuse my sincerity for thinking I had lost the only two people I have left in this world!!!
Eddy: [Struggling not to laugh] And?
Edd: It’s--
[Suddenly Nazz’s arm appears between Edd n’ Eddy. Edd looks at Nazz and lets go of Eddy as she steps between them.]
Nazz: [To Eddy] I think what Double D is trying to say here, dude, is that you’ve finally done it. You’ve finally done something boneheaded enough that he’s officially had enough of you and Ed’s stupidity. Goodbye and good riddance, Eddy. We’re returning to the Cul-de-Sac. Without you. [To Edd, taking him by the arm] Come on, dude.
[Nazz leaves, Edd going with her, albeit giving her a look as he goes. Nazz does not seem to notice this.]
Edd: I can speak for myself, you know...
[Eddy looks shocked as he watches his friend leave, as if he’s unsure how to process what’s happening. After a moment, however, he then suddenly looks angry. He quickly races up to Edd and Nazz.]
Eddy: [Grabbing Edd by the arm and pulling him back towards the swamp] Oh, no you don’t! You are not going to steal my friend!!!
Edd: [Furious] Eddy, let go of--!!!
Nazz: [Shocked, angry] Oh, no, no, no, no, NO!!!
[Before Edd can react, Nazz grabs his other arm and begins to pulling him away from Eddy, such that Edd’s arms are crossed over each other.]
Edd: [Taken aback] Nazz, what are you--!?
Nazz: You are not going to mess this up for me!!! Not now I’ve finally managed to get one of you idiots to leave!
[Edd starts to strain from the force of being pulled in two opposite directions.]
Eddy: You’ve been trying to break us up from the start! Don’t think I don’t know that’s why you wanted to be alone with him back at the factory! Admit it!!!
Nazz: You’re darn right I have!!! How many times do I have to tell you I want to go home before it passes through your thick skull!?
Eddy: [Grabbing one of Edd’s legs and tying it around his waist] You coulda left whenever the heck you wanted!!! Doesn’t mean you gotta poison my friends against me!!!
Nazz: [Grabbing Edd’s other leg and tying it to her arm] Oh, I think you’ve done good enough job of that all on your own!!!
Eddy: [Straining] He’s... coming... with me!!!
Nazz: [Also straining] No... he’s... coming... with me!!!
[Edd is now tied up in a knot and looks to be in a tremendous amount of pain. His clothes begin to tear as Nazz and Eddy pull on him harder than ever.]
Edd: [Struggling even to speak] Guys... please... stop... you’re... hurting... me!!!
Ed: [Distressed] LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!
[Ed rushes to Edd’s aid, grabbing him and pulling him away from Nazz and Eddy. Edd’s legs soon become untied from Nazz and Eddy’s bodies as they both lose their grip on his arms. Elastic forces quickly send both Nazz and Eddy flying through the air, screaming, until eventually they violently collide with each other, face-first. After a moment of hanging in midair, they then peel off each other and land hard on their backs. There is then a pause as Nazz and Eddy lie on the ground, both looking dazed. However, their dazed expressions soon morph into looks of pure rage. They quickly stand up and confront each other, standing face-to-face.]
Eddy: [Poking Nazz in the chest] Ok, WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR DEAL!? ‘Cause I’m really starting to get sick a’ your attitude!!!
Nazz: [Sarcastic] Oh, heaven forbid you get sick of my attitude! You do remember that it’s because of you three goons and your idiotic scams the we all have the misfortune of being in this mess, right!?
Eddy: Doesn’t mean you gotta follow us around everywhere, either constantly whining about how much you don’t wanna be here or actively trying to turn us against each other!!! God! And to think I was ever attracted to you!
Nazz: You!? Attracted to me!? HA! Like I’d ever go out with a cowardly little RAT like you!!!
Eddy: Yeah, you’d rather spend all your time fawning over Shovel-chin like some daft bimbo!
Nazz: [Flushing] E-EXCUSE ME!?
Eddy: Oh, you heard me!!! [Mocking falsetto] ‘Say something funny about my binder, Kev!’ ‘Oh my god, Kev, that rhymes!’
Nazz: W-well, at least Kevin doesn’t go out of his way to steal from people and generally make everyone’s lives MISERABLE!!!
Eddy: Oh, you wanna talk about making people’s lives miserable, do ya!? ‘Cause I gotta laundry list of complaints I’d like file about ‘making people’s lives miserable’!!!
Nazz: Oh, please!!! You three idiots cause so much trouble for everyone, you should be thankful YOU GET OFF AS GOOD AS YOU DO!!!
Eddy: Oh, IS THAT SO!? Well, maybe we wouldn’t bother scamming you all the time if you weren’t all such HORRIBLE, PETTY, STOOGES!!!
Nazz: [Grabbing Eddy and shaking him] IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT MY HEAD LOOKS LIKE IT’S BEEN PUT THROUGH A WEED-WHACKER!!!
Eddy: [Swatting Nazz’s arm away] Don’t touch me!!!
Nazz: Hey!!! YOU DON’T TOUCH ME!!!
[Nazz punches Eddy in the face.]
Eddy: OW!!! Oh, THAT”S IT!!!
[Eddy punches Nazz in the face in return.]
Nazz: OW!!! WHY YOU--!!!
[Nazz and Eddy are silhouetted against a nearby billboard as they continue to trade blows and start grappling with each other. Beneath the billboard, a distressed Ed has set a dazed, barely conscious Edd on the ground. He then reaches into his jacket and pulls out a large quantity of items, including an absurd quantity of rope, before eventually finding what he was looking for: a small paper fan. He quickly begins fanning Edd with the fan, only to stop upon becoming aware of Nazz and Eddy’s altercation.]
Ed: STOP! I demand you tickle each other right now!
Nazz and Eddy: STAY OUT OF IT, ED!!!
Ed: [Fearful] The evil dark side has consumed them both! Trouble! Bad! Big!
[Nazz and Eddy continue wrestling with each other. Eventually, Eddy trips and falls backwards, causing both to fall to the ground with such force that they bounce off the ground and fly through the air, into the billboard. The billboard then bends backwards and slingshots them back through the air as Ed ducks for cover. They land on the ground again before yet again bouncing off of it and tumbling through the air. Upon finally landing, a thick cloud of dust erupts around Nazz and Eddy, obscuring the remainder of their brawl. Ed cowers in fear as Edd slowly comes back to his senses. He then notices Nazz and Eddy beating the snot out of each other and his eyes narrow, looking throughly fed up. He promptly reaches into Ed’s jacket and pulls out a megaphone before stomping over to the dust cloud. He then switches the megaphone on and takes a deep breath.]
Edd: [Through the megaphone] THAT’S ENOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The force of Edd’s voice proves powerful enough to completely blow away the dust cloud, leaving Nazz and Eddy hanging in midair mid-grapple, their skin blowing in the wind force caused by Edd’s amplified voice. Once Edd stops shouting, Nazz and Eddy continue to hang in midair for a few moments, looking startled, after which they fall to the ground. They then lie on the ground in a heap, both looking thoroughly exhausted and beat-up.]
Edd: [Tossing the megaphone aside] I am officially SICK of this!!! Eddy, the callous, immature attitude you’ve displayed this entire adventure is TRULY surprising, considering it was your stubborn, inane desire to shock, sandbag and swindle that got us into this mess in the first place! Ugh, you and your nefarious scams!!! If you had simply paid attention to what I said for once, and not pushed the red button--!!! But no, you did and look where we are now! But do you care!? NO!!! All you care about is goofing off and satisfying whatever insane whim happens to enter your mind!!!
[Eddy looks shocked and unsure how to process Edd’s words. Nazz blows a raspberry at him, but he doesn’t seem to notice.]
Edd: [To Nazz] AND YOU!!!
[Nazz freezes.]
Edd: Where on EARTH do you get off acting as if I somehow owe it you to come with you!? Do you have any idea, ANY IDEA AT ALL, how miserable you and everyone else in that godforsaken HELLHOLE of a neighbourhood have made our lives!? What, do you we think we like constantly being treated like social pariahs!? That we enjoy being mocked, belittled, and harassed at every opportunity!? I SUPPOSE YOU THINK WE GET A REAL KICK OUT OF BEING PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION!!! Nazz, I’m sorry, but you and the other kids are nothing short of a gang of toxic, ill-tempered, BULLIES, and it truly astounds me that you could possibly think that I owe ANYTHING of you!!!
[As Edd speaks, Nazz looks gradually more and more shocked and horrified by what she hears.]
Edd: You BOTH have spent entire trip being wholly concerned with your own selfish self-interests above anything else, and I have officially HAD ENOUGH OF IT!!! I'm returning home -- ALONE!
Ed: [Scooting up on his knees, desperate] But we can't go home, Double D!
Edd: I'd rather face my consequences, Ed, than continue to wander aimlessly with a so-called friend, or a self-righteous hypocrite!!!
[Edd begins to stomp off. Nazz desperately pulls herself off the ground and starts to go after him.]
Nazz: Double D, wait--!
Edd: SAVE IT, NAZZ!!!
[Edd storms off as Ed begins to sob. Nazz stops where she stands, looking positively horrified with herself. She covers her mouth with her hands and begins to tear up as well while Eddy continues lying on the ground, still trying to process recent events.]
Ed: [Between sobs, rubbing his shirt on his face] Say it ain't so!!! We are three no more, Eddy! Like hop, skip, and no jump! Like up, up and no away! Like blah, blah, without the other blah!!!
[Eddy starts to recover from his stupor as tears begin to fill his eyes as well. His face then scrunches up in frustration.]
Eddy: [Suddenly exploding, leaping into the air] FINE!!! Go home!!! I don’t blame ya! 'CAUSE EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT!!!
[There is long pause as Eddy’s words sink in. Nazz looks shocked.]
Nazz: [Turning to face Eddy] Eddy...?
[Eddy bursts into tears. Edd stops in his tracks.]
Eddy: Yeah, you heard me!!! [Punching himself in the head] A FOUL-UP, WANNABE, LOSER!!!
[Eddy collapses to the ground, sobbing. Edd turns to face him, looking shocked. He rubs his shirt.]
Nazz: Dude...
[Edd suddenly runs past Nazz.]
Nazz: [Surprised] Double D???
Edd: [Approaching Eddy, hand outstretched] Eddy...?
Eddy: [Between sobs] What!?
[Edd stops for a moment, thinking. He then gets an idea and smiles.]
Edd: Your shirt, Eddy.
Eddy: [Turning to face Edd, confused] ... My shirt?
Edd: [Pointing at Eddy’s chest] Are those salt deposits from your lamentation?
[Eddy looks down. Edd twangs his nose.]
Edd: [Smiling] Gotcha!
[Edd n’ Eddy look at each other. A smile slowly spreads on Eddy’s face.]
Ed: [Grabbing his friends and carrying them in his arms, cheerful] We are friends once more, guys!!! To Eddy's big bro's house--!
[Nazz suddenly clears her throat. The Eds stop and turn to face her. She looks at them sheepishly, her hands in her pockets.]
Nazz: [As if struggling to find her words] I... you were right, Double D. About everything. I think... I think I knew that. Somehow, I think I always knew that... [Tearing up] I, I don’t, I don’t... know why I always, just, go along with them whenever they want to do something horrible to you guys. I, I guess I... I guess I just don’t wanna... don’t wanna be seen as... “weird” or “different”, somehow. It’s like, it’s like I can’t stand the thought of, of not just blending into the background. And, and whenever I’m with them, the part of my brain that would normally stop me from doing things just sorta... shuts off completely and I find, I-I-I find myself just... blindly going along with what everyone else is doing... and when your scam went bad this morning, I guess it just... like, it’s like a, a switch just went off in my head and next thing I know I’m so... stuck in that state I can’t even get out of it once the others are no longer around, but... but... I, I, I, [Breaking down, sobbing] I’M SORRY!!! How could I, how could I just, go along with treating ANYONE like that!? I’M SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD PERSON!!! I, I, I... I-I know there’s no way I can ever expect you to forgive me for the way I’ve helped treat you guys, but I just want... no, I NEED you to know that, that I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted this entire trip, and I’M SORRY FOR ANY WAY I’VE PERSONALLY HELPED MAKE LIFE MISERABLE FOR YOU GUYS!!!
[Nazz collapses onto the ground, sobbing. The Eds exchange a look. After a moment, Edd n’ Eddy reach down, pick Nazz up, and set her down between them on Ed’s shoulders. She looks at them, shocked.]
Eddy: Offer to come with us still stands, you know.
Nazz: R-Really...? You mean...?
[Edd n’ Eddy smile at Nazz. After a moment, she smiles back.]
Nazz: [Cheerful] ... Let’s go find your brother, Eddy!!!
Ed: HOORAY!!! [Running off in the wrong direction] Off to Eddy’s brother’s house we--!
Edd: [Grabbing Ed’s face, stopping him] Not that way, Ed. [Turning Ed in the right direction.] This way.
[Ed heads off as Edd n’ Eddy put their arms around Nazz’s back. She in turn puts her arms on theirs. Ed, Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy all head off into the sunset.]
Nazz: Let’s go, guys!!!
Eddy: You heard my pals, Ed!
Edd: What would you do without me, Eddy?
Eddy: Don't milk it, Sockhead...
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[Elsewhere in the swamp the sun has begun to set, and a large pipe is seen protruding from a hillside. Suddenly, a rumbling and screaming is heard as a figure moves rapidly through a pipe. The figure then bursts out of the pipe -- it’s Kevin, riding his bike and screaming as he flies through the air. He lands in swamp water and continues through the swamp until eventually he manages to come to a stop in a small clearing. He quickly dismounts and removes his shirt, knocking his hat off in the process. He then begins using his shirt to dry off his bike, panting with exhaustion. After a moment, he looks around.]
Kevin: Man, where am I... ?
[Kevin examines his surroundings. It is dark and quiet. An owl hoots in the distance as Kevin begins to look nervous. He then grabs his hat and starts putting his clothes back on.]
Kevin: Man, it’s dark...
[Kevin begins sweating.}
Kevin: ...C-come on, man. Get a grip. So what if it’s a little dark... and wet... and cold...
[Kevin grabs his bike for safety and shivers in fear.]
Kevin: ... Gah, snap out of it!!! Nazz still needs you, so man up, man!!! She’s out there somewhere, just as cold, wet, and hungry as you are... or worse... NO, STOP IT!!! She’s fine! She’s-she’s gonna be fine, you just gotta, just gotta, figure out where she is...
[Kevin glances around.]
Kevin: ... NAAAAAAAZZ!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??? WHERE ARE YA, BABE???
[Suddenly, Kevin notices rustling in some nearby bushes.]
Kevin: ... W-who’s there? Show yourself!!!
[A figure emerges from the bushes -- it’s Nazz, now looking completely solid, though her hair is still undamaged.]
Kevin: Nazz... ? NAZZ!!!
[Kevin begins running towards Nazz?.]
Nazz?: [Overjoyed] Kevin!!!
[Nazz? begins running towards Kevin as well. However, as they near each other, Kevin hesitates. Nazz? looks at him, confused, as he cautiously reaches out and touches her shoulder. Unlike before, his hand doesn’t pass through her body.]
Kevin: It’s really you... [Hugging Nazz? desperately, tearing up slightly] it’s really you!!!
Nazz?: [Giggling, hugging Kevin back] Dude, of course it’s me! Who else would I be?
Kevin: Oh, you have no idea how relieved I am to see you!!! [Letting go of Nazz? and looking her in the eye] Are you ok? What happened??? I swear if those creeps laid even one FINGER on you--!!!
Nazz?: Aw, don’t sweat it Kev! I’m fine! I was able to get away from them.
Kevin: So you’re not hurt?
Nazz?: Like I said, I’m fine! [Hugging Kevin again, closing her eyes] Especially, now that you’re here...
[Kevin exhales a sigh of relief and smiles, hugging Nazz back. However, he then does a double take as he notices something else emerging from the bushes -- a small tendril of black smoke that seems to be slowly winding its way towards them.]
Kevin: [Nervous] ... What’s that?
Nazz?: [Oblivious] What’s what, Kev?
Kevin: That...
Nazz?: Oh, I’m sure it’s--
[The tendril of smoke suddenly wraps itself around Nazz?’s leg and rapidly pulls her away from Kevin, into the air.]
Nazz?: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! KEVIN, HELP!!!
Kevin: NAZZ!!!
[The smoke pulls Nazz? into the trees, out of sight. Nazz? continues to scream in terror.]
Kevin: Gah, I’m comin’!!!
[Kevin quickly grabs his bike and races after Nazz? through the trees.]
Nazz?: KEVIN!!!
Kevin: [Panicked] I’m comin’, I’m comin!!!
[Kevin emerges from the trees in a clearing and looks up in shock at the source of the tendril of smoke -- a massive creature made of black smoke in the shape of Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy’s heads. The Ed-headed monster dangles Nazz? in the air as all three heads laugh evilly.]
Eddy?: Shovel-chin! How nice of you to join us!
Ed?: [Trance-like] Buttered toast, buttered toast, buttered toast... !
Edd?: Congratulations! It seems you were successful in catching up to us after all. But I wonder... now what?
Kevin: [Terrified] Y-y-you better let her go r-right now, o-or--
Eddy?: Or what? You’ll call us dorks?
[Eddy? laughs.]
Edd?: Nazz thought she could get away from us, but I’m afraid we have ways of making sure she never escapes us again...
Ed?: [Still trance-like] Gravy, gravy, gravy... !
[The creature dangles Nazz? directly above itself.]
Nazz?: KEVIN!!! PLEASE!!! DO SOMETHING!!!
Kevin: [Frozen in fear] I-I-I... no!!!
Eddy?: Say goodbye!!!
[The creatures releases Nazz? and she falls, screaming, into Eddy?’s mouth. He then slams his mouth shut. The sound of her screaming quickly fades away as Ed?, Edd?, n’ Eddy? all laugh.]
Kevin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edd?: And now...
Eddy?: IT’S YOUR TURN!!!
[The cloud of smoke suddenly advances on Kevin, launching smoke tendrils towards him. One hits the ground where he stands, creating a small crater and sending Kevin and his bike tumbling in different directions as Kevin screams. Flames erupt from the leftover crater as the sky turns blood-red. Kevin quickly begins stumbling around desperately dodging tendrils as they create more craters out of which more pillars of fire erupt. The monster continues to laugh as Kevin continues to stumble about.]
Eddy?: Did you really think you ever had what it takes to stand up to us, Shovel-chin!? Did you ever seriously believe you could stop us!?
[Kevin desperately rushes towards where his bike has landed, only to be stopped when a massive wall of fire burst from ground, forming a ring around his bike.]
Kevin: Gaargh!!!
[Kevin flees as the monster begins to circle him. Soon, he is surrounded on all sides by the creature’s heads as it circles him and continues to launch smoke tendrils at him. Kevin continues to desperately dodge the tendrils.]
Ed?: [In time with the tendril’s attacks] Buttered toast! Gravy! BUTTERED TOAST! GRAVY!
Edd?: I’m afraid your time is up!!! You see, we’ve always been one step ahead of you! If it ever felt like you were the one in control, it was merely because we let you think as much!
Eddy?: But the time has come to reveal our true power! You’re finished, Shovel-chin!!! HA!!!
[Kevin barely manages to dodge a tendril in time and is knocked to the ground.]
Edd?: But first, you should be aware...
Eddy?: ... That this doesn’t end with you! It won’t be long now before we reach our goal, and then...
[The smoke cloud parts, allowing Kevin a view of the largest flame pillar yet as it bursts from the ground. The flames then part slightly, revealing a mysterious, shadowy figure with glowing red eyes.]
Eddy?: Well, let’s just say that it ain’t gonna be pretty!!! We’d tell you say goodbye to your stooge friends, but...
Edd?: The fact of the matter is...
[The smoke cloud closes up again.]
Ed?, Edd?, n’ Eddy?: YOU’LL BE LONG GONE BY THEN!!!
[The smoke cloud closes in on Kevin, each head laughing horribly as he screams in terror. Soon, Kevin is completely enveloped by the smoke as his screaming begins to fade. The monster’s heads all grin evilly. However, after a moment, a noise is hear from within the smoke, causing the monster’s heads to look confused.]
Kevin: [Bursting out of the smoke creature] ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[The creature looks briefly shocked, then each head growls at Kevin and begins advancing on him again.]
Kevin: [Punching Ed? away] As IF!!! [Punching Edd? away] You think I’m just stand by and let you get away with this!? [Punching Eddy? away] You dorks are PATHETIC!!!
[The monster proceeds to resume launching smoke tendrils at Kevin, only for Kevin to punch each tendril aside in turn. However, the scene then switches to reality, revealing that Kevin is merely flailing about in swamp-water, wailing on thin-air.]
Kevin: You hear me, dorks!? PATHETIC!!! Now, let Nazz go RIGHT NOW -- OR ELSE!!!
[Back in the fantasy, the monster reels from Kevin’s blows.]
Edd?: Hmmph. It appears he has more gumption than we initially assumed.
Eddy?: Doesn’t matter!!! We’ve still got our trump card!
Kevin: Yeah, just try to and hide behind your brother like the snivelling cowards you are!!! [Waiving his fist in the air] NOW STAND STILL SO I CAN TEACH YA A LESSON!!!
Eddy?: [Laughing] You’ll have to catch us first!!!
Edd?: Yes, I believe it is time we made our exit. Shall we, gentlemen?
Eddy?: See ya later, Shovel-chin!!!
Ed?: GRAVY!!!
[The monster’s heads all laugh again as it retreats through the trees. Kevin quickly looks around, spying the ring of fire surrounding his bike. He then gives off a battle-cry as he charges toward the ring and leaps through it in slow-motion, creating an opening. As he lands, he executes a roll, then rapidly climbs aboard his bike.]
Kevin: SOONER THAN YOU THINK, DORKS, ‘CUZ I’M COMING FOR YA!!! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
[Kevin bikes through the opening in the ring of fire and pursues the monster through the woods at top speed. As he bikes off, a trio of figures retreat behind some bushes from which they had been watching him.]
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[The moon shines down brightly as night falls in the swamp. Below, Rolf stumbles about, panting, the meat grinder still stuck on his head. His arm then gets caught in some vines, halting his progress as he struggles to pull his arm free. Eventually, the vines snap, causing Rolf to stumble into a tree.]
Rolf: [Brandishing a fist] Who goes there???
[Rolf punches straight through the tree, his hand popping out the other side. He then tries to yank his arm free, only to wind up breaking off the portion of tree trunk entrapping his arm, separating it from the rest of the tree. As the top part of the tree falls into the water, Rolf pauses. After a moment, he suddenly becomes aware of the large weight on his arm and promptly falls into the water himself. With a gasp, he then rises out of the water and begins grasping at a small nearby hill as the tree trunk becomes caught in a another tree’s roots.]
Rolf: What... is... you... insubordinate... !
[The tree trunk breaks through the roots and flies towards Rolf. Panting, Rolf successfully climbs up the hill onto a nearby road and turns just time for the tree trunk to slam into him. The tree trunk then splits in half, freeing Rolf’s arm. Dazed, Rolf then staggers into the middle of the road, his head briefly dragging along the ground due to the weight of the meat grinder. Suddenly, a loud honking noise is heard. Rolf turns to see a pair of bright lights rapidly approaching him as the honking continues.]
Rolf: Hallo?
[The source of the honking collides violently with Rolf, knocking him backwards. As he lands, the meat grinder cracks and splits open, freeing Rolf’s head. A light then shines on him as looks up at what hit him -- it’s the Kanker sisters’ wheelbarrow, which has now been outfitted with a pair of moose antlers, tied to each of which is a pair of flashlights. Lee, sitting within the wheelbarrow, lifts her hair out of her eyes to better examine Rolf. Marie and May stand on either side of the wheelbarrow, May honking a bike horn cheerfully.]
Lee: I told ya followin’ that guy would bring us good luck, girls! Now we got another one!
May: Hooray!
Marie: [Grinning evilly] Let’s get him!!!
[Rolf’s eyes widen in panic as the Kanker sisters grab him.]
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[Ed trundles down a road as fireflies start to gather beneath the night sky.]
Ed: Look! Alien spaceships are attacking!
[Edd takes out a jar and uses it to capture some of the fireflies.]
Eddy: That's stupid.
Edd: [Twisting the cap on the jar] Coleoptera Lampyridae, Ed.
Eddy: [Squinting in the fireflies’ light] Say what?
Nazz: I think he means fireflies, Eddy.
[Nazz n’ the Eds are heading down a road leading through a field dotted with trees and the occasional billboard. Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy are still on Ed’s shoulders and back, and all four are looking rather sleepy.]
Edd: [Holding a stick hanging from the end of which is the jar] That’s right, Nazz! These nocturnal luminescent beetles will help shed light on our journey.
Ed: Fancy bug butts, I must say.
[Ed yawns.]
Eddy: [Tapping the jar] So these things know where my bro lives?
[Eddy yawns.]
Nazz: [Grinning wistfully] That’d be nice.
[Nazz yawns.]
Edd: [Chuckling] I’m afraid not, Eddy.
[Edd yawns as the group passes over a highway bridge.]
Edd: Oh, pardon me. But they can help us find a safe place to rest for the night.
Eddy: We passed a motel a ways back! We coulda stopped there.
[Eddy yawns. Nazz follows suit.]
Nazz: Man, we’re really passing this yawn around, aren’t we?
Eddy: You’re tellin’ me...
Edd: I’m afraid motels cost money, Eddy.
[Edd yawns.]
Edd: Excuse me. Have you any money, Eddy?
[Eddy yawns yet again.]
Eddy: I would if that stupid scam worked... hey, Nazz, you got any cash?
[Nazz yawns again.]
Nazz: [Slightly awkwardly] Well, I had a couple quarters in my pocket this morning but, well, I... kinda gave them to you guys. You didn’t manage to save the money jar, did you?
Eddy: [Frustrated] Nah, we lost it when everything went kablooie... just our luck, too.
[Ed leads them into a clearing filled with stones carved into the appearance of tribal masks and sits down, lowering his arms.]
Ed: Ed pooped! Sleepy-time, guys.
[Edd n’ Eddy realize they are now floating in midair and promptly fall to the ground, Edd dropping the stick in the process. The stick then falls, bashes Nazz in the head, and slingshots down to bash Edd n’ Eddy in the head in turn, leaving the jar of fireflies lodged in Eddy’s head. Edd then clutches his head in pain as a dazed Nazz falls off Ed’s shoulders and on to her back, leaving the stick resting gently on Ed’s head. Ed then yawns nonchalantly.]
Edd: [Getting up and looking around] An appropriate place as any, I suppose.
[Eddy removes the jar from his head as Nazz picks herself up off the ground.]
Ed: [Knocking the stick to the ground as he speaks] Nighty night!
[Ed burrows into the ground, to the confusion of the others. Ed then moves around underground a bit, causing a large rock to suddenly burst out of the ground. Ed then pokes his head out of the earth and lies against the rock, clutching the dirt as if it were a blanket.]
Ed: Ah... comfy!
[Nazz n’ Eddy both snicker at this as Edd takes the jar of fireflies and walks off. Ed taps Eddy on the back with his foot.]
Ed: [Poking his leg out of the ground and using his foot to grab Eddy by the shirt] Psst! Psst! Eddy, can I have a good night kiss?
Eddy: [Trying to free his shirt] What are ya!?
[Eddy walks off, dragging Ed through the ground in the process. Ed desperately reaches for his rock as he gets pulled away. Eddy then approaches a large, carved rock and climbs up it, causing Ed to lose his grip on his shirt. Nazz approaches the rock.]
Ed: Awww... could you give me a goodnight kiss, miss Nazz???
Nazz: Er...
Ed: [Pleading] Pretty please? With a cherry on top???
Nazz: [Bemused] Um, ok, I guess?
[Nazz gives Ed a kiss on the forehead. Ed gives her a huge grin.]
Ed: So that’s what those feel like!!! [Digging his way back toward the rock] Good night, miss Nazz!!!
Nazz: [Amused] Good night, dude.
Edd: [Wandering around with his label maker] Excuse me, Nazz.
[Edd places a label on the rock, to Eddy’s confusion.]
Eddy: [Peeling off the label and reading it] ‘Yet. Another. Boulder.’
[Eddy does a double-take as he realizes Edd has labeled the entire campsite. Nazz giggles at this as she sits herself down next to the carved rock.]
Eddy: Hey, Sockhead! Quit turning everything into your bedroom!
Edd: It's just that it's difficult for me to sleep in an unlabelled environment.
Eddy: [Rolling his eyes] Snore! I'm getting some shut-eye.
[Eddy lies down on top of the rock. After a moment, however, he begins to slide down the rock.]
Eddy: [Clambering back up the rock, grumbling] ... rocks.
[Eddy tries lying on his back, only for a small cracking noise to be heard.]
Eddy: [Groaning, holding his back] This bed's killin’ me!
Nazz: [Watching] Maybe you’d be more comfortable down here, dude. It’s not exactly a hotel, but, well, we don’t really have a lot of options out here...
Eddy: Yeah, yeah, I know...
[Eddy frustratedly allows himself to slide down the side of the rock until he is balanced upside down on the ground next to Nazz. There is a pause as Nazz looks thoughtful.]
Nazz: So, uh... I just wanna make clear that I really did mean what I said earlier, dude. I... really am sorry for, well... everything, I guess. And... if the others manage to catch up to us... I’m gonna talk to them. Try and get them to calm down, you know? At this point, I don’t think all this aggression is doing anyone any good.
[Eddy absorbs this as he gradually begins to sit upright.]
Eddy: ... Hey, thanks. That... that actually means a lot. And... and I guess I’m sorry to. I’m sorry you got hurt when our scam went off the rails this morning. Heck, I’m sorry for any of the times you got hurt ‘cuz of our antics.
Nazz: Don’t worry about it, dude. Water under the bridge. Besides, looking back, I kinda feel the stuff we’ve done to you guys far outweighs anything you’ve done to us.
Eddy: Yeah, let’s not play the “who’s been worse to who” game, ok?
Nazz: [Chuckling wryly] Yeah, ok.
[Nazz n’ Eddy sit in silence for a few moments.]
Nazz: Hey, out of curiosity... what exactly happened this morning, anyway? Everything seemed to be going fine at first.
Eddy: Man, I don’t even know! Everything was going just fine, but then I pressed that red button and next thing I know... kablooie! [Annoyed] Honestly, sometimes it just feels like the whole universe is out to get us. Me especially.
Nazz: [Sympathetic] Wow, really, dude?
Eddy: Yeah! I mean, have you noticed how things just don’t go our way, like, nine times outta ten??? It doesn’t matter what we do, everything always just has to blow up in our faces. And if one of us in particular has to get the short end of the stick, I can’t help but feel like it’s always me. Feh...
[Eddy kicks a pebble aside and grumbles as Nazz gives him a concerned look. She then thinks for a moment.]
Nazz: ... Well, you know what I think, dude?
Eddy: What?
Nazz: I think everything’s gonna work out in the end.
Eddy: ... Really?
Nazz: Yeah, dude! Karma’s gotta catch up with you eventually. You mark my words, this time tomorrow, we’re gonna be hanging out with your bro, or my name’s not Nazz!
Eddy: [Grinning slightly] You really think so?
Nazz: I know so! And I gotta say, I’m actually starting to get, like, seriously excited about this! [Grinning enthusiastically] I’ve gotta ask, is all that stuff you’ve said about him really all true??? He just sounds so... fantastical!
[As Nazz speaks, Edd overhears the conversation and approaches.]
Nazz: I mean, I guess I have technically seen him before, but I was so young back then. I didn’t leave the house much then either, so I mostly just have vague memories of seeing him hanging around outside. [Giggling] And you were always tagging along with him wherever he went! I mean, I’d ask Ed, but...
Ed: [Offscreen] When I grow up, I wanna be a bean sprout!
Nazz: ... Well, y’know. Hey, Double D, you ever met Eddy’s bro?
Edd: I’m afraid not, Nazz! My family didn’t move to the Cul-de-Sac until after he’d already left. But I must say, I share your excitement at the thought of finally meeting the man! Eddy’s told so many extraordinary stories about him, I must admit I’ve built him up in my mind as something of a mythical figure!
Nazz: [Grinning excitedly] Well, Eddy?
Edd: [Also grinning excitedly] Yes, my interest is also quite a bit piqued!
[There is a pause. For a brief moment, Eddy looks as if he wants to say something.]
Eddy: ... [Grinning] You’re darn right it’s all true! My bro’s the coolest guy who ever existed! You’ll see!
Edd: Well, I definitely look forward to finally getting to meet the man!
[Edd walks off to resume labelling things.]
Nazz: Yeah, same here!
Edd: [Stopping, turning to Eddy] Oh, by the way, Eddy. Do you recall the object I accidentally, well, demolished back at the factory?
Eddy: What, the sextant? Oop--!
[Ed n’ Nazz both burst out laughing as Edd chuckles to himself.]
Edd: Gotcha again, Eddy!
[Edd walks off as Eddy flushes slightly.]
Eddy: ... [Rolling his eyes dismissively] Ok, ok, I’ll give ya that one! Sheesh...
[Eddy rests his head against the rock, smirking wryly to himself as he shuts his eyes.]
Nazz: [Laying her head against the rock as well, yawning] Good night, dudes...
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[The sun rises over the field at the edge of the swamp, bathing it in light. Suddenly, Kevin bursts out of the woods, charging around erratically at top speed on his bike. He eventually skids to a halt and looks around, panting. His clothes are torn and dirty, and he doesn’t look as if he’s gotten a wink of sleep.]
Kevin: ... Dangit, where’d they go!? HEY, DORKS!!! DON’T THINK FOR A SECOND YOU’VE GOTTEN AWAY FROM ME!!! COME OUT AND SHOW YOURSELVES!!!
[There is no response. After a moment, Kevin growls loudly in frustration. He then notices some mud on his bike. Kevin quickly wets this thumb and begins wiping the mud off, only to suddenly do a double-take. Nearby, a silhouette in the shape of Eddy appears to be emerging from behind some nearby rocks. The figure then notices Kevin, leaps into the air in fright, and scampers away over the rocks.]
Kevin: ... AHA!!!
[Kevin quickly swivels his bike around, climbs aboard, and gives chase.]
Kevin: Time’s up, dork!!! YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME!!!
[The figure desperately flees from Kevin. However, as they round a corner, it becomes apparent that it is not Eddy at all, but rather Marie Kanker dressed as Eddy, complete with a headband with three long nails taped to it to simulate Eddy’s three hairs. Marie then ducks behind a tree where Lee and May wait in anticipation.]
Marie: [Panting, removing the headband] What a drip! He fell for it like a ton a’ canned hams. But man, did I have to book it to get away from him!
Lee: [Grinning] Hey, whatever. We got him now, right?
[Lee suddenly holds May in Kevin’s path, causing Kevin to slam into her. Kevin’s body then wraps around May’s head as his bike continues down the road.]
May: Oof!
[Kevin’s bike continues until it reaches a sharp turn and slams into a concrete barrier, crumpling into a complete wreck. Elastic force causes it to weakly head back a few feet in the direction it came, only for it to collapse soon thereafter.]
Lee: [Unravelling Kevin from May and holding him in midair, upside-down] So much for your ride, huh, tough guy?
[Kevin takes a moment to process recent events.]
Kevin: ... [Panicked] NOOOOO!!!
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[Edd is sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, Edd sniffs the air and, catching a foul odor, he awakens. Looking up, he realizes that he and his friends have fallen asleep in a heap. Eddy is resting his head on the jar of fireflies, Nazz is lying on Eddy’s head, Edd is resting his head on Nazz’s back, and Ed is lying upside down, such that his rear end is lying on top of Edd’s head. Also, some flies are circling Ed’s lower body.]
Edd: Is that Ed’s... ?
[Edd’s eyes widen.]
Edd: [Pulling himself from the pile] GOOD LORD!!!
[Ed’s lower body comes down, flattening Nazz n’ Eddy beneath it such that only Nazz n’ Eddy’s arms and legs protrude from underneath. The jar of fireflies is knocked aside in the process.]
Edd: [Wiping off his hat] Horrid! Icky! Foul!!!
[Beat]
Edd: Oh, who am I kidding? [Picking up the jar of fireflies] I just slept in my clothes.
[Edd opens the jar a fireflies and lets the fireflies free. Eddy flails his free arms about wildly while Nazz does the same with her legs. They then both retract their limbs beneath Ed’s body.]
Nazz n’ Eddy: [Throwing Ed off into the sky] GET OFF!
[Ed soars through the air, then comes back down. Nazz n’ Eddy step aside just in time to avoid being flattened as Ed leaves a huge Ed-shaped crater in the ground. They both look into the crater. Ed is still fast asleep.]
Eddy: [Rubbing his back] Shoulda stayed at that motel.
Nazz: ... Is Ed still sleeping???
Eddy: Oh, have we got stories to tell ya about Lumpy over here sleepin’ through stuff...
[Suddenly, there is a deep rumbling heralding the beginning of an earthquake. Edd drops the empty jar as the rumbling earth causes much destruction, knocking Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy off their feet as well as sending a number of rocks into the air. As the rumbling stops, a large stone lands in Edd’s mouth while Eddy is buried under the remaining stones. Nazz, meanwhile, is launched into a tree with such force that the trunk is bent into a Nazz-shaped indentation which Nazz becomes trapped inside. Ed then casually stands up, and lifts up his shirt. His belly rumbles loudly.]
Ed: Yep. Belly's empty.
[Edd gets up and spits out the stone.]
Ed: Breakfast, Double D?
Edd: I'm afraid we haven't any food, Ed.
[There is a brief pause. Ed’s eyes then suddenly widen in shock. He promptly begins running around in a panic.]
Ed: Food for Ed!!! Eat now!!! Ed hungry!!!
[As Ed does this, a dazed, bruised Eddy pulls himself from the rock pile. while Nazz pries herself from the tree trunk. Nazz then pops out and falls to the ground.]
Ed: [Approaching Eddy, grabbing his hairs] Eddy, belly sad!
[Ed tugs on Eddy's hairs and pulls them clean out.]
Ed: Breakfast for Ed, Eddy!
[Ed drops Eddy’s hairs and runs off in search of food as Edd watches.]
Eddy: [Excited, his hairs back in place] Breakfast!? I'm in!!!
[Eddy runs after Ed.]
Nazz: [Equally excited] Food!? Oh, man, I’m starving! Wait up, you guys!!!
[Nazz runs off as well. Edd quickly brings up the rear.]
Edd: Wait! Where are we going???
Eddy: Thataboy!!! Find me an omelette, Ed!!! And some bacon!!!
Nazz: We’re counting on you, dude!
[Edd looks down and his eyes widen as he suddenly realizes that he and the others have just charged of a cliff and are currently running in mid-air.]
Edd: Stop!!!
[Edd grabs Nazz’s legs in desperation, prompting her to look down as well.]
Nazz: [Panicking, grabbing Eddy’s legs] GAH!!!
Eddy: [Grabbing Ed’s legs] Ed!
[All four fall straight down towards the ground, screaming in terror as they fall. Suddenly, after a moment of falling, the screaming stops. A ferris wheel cart then rises up, revealing Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy to be sitting harmlessly within it. Ed, meanwhile, has hit the ferris wheel with enough force to break through, his head protruding out the bottom.]
Eddy: What happened!?
[Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy all begin looking around as Ed flails his limbs. The ferris wheel appears to be at the centre of a large amusement park.]
Nazz: Dude, where are we?
Edd: We seem to be on a Ferris wheel! Eddy!
[Ed frees himself and looks over the edge.]
Ed: [Shivering in fear] Too high, guys!
[Edd n’ Nazz share a look of concern.]
Edd: Ed!!! Stay calm. No sudden movements now!
Nazz: E-easy there, big guy...
Ed: [Leaping out of the cart] Down for Ed, Double D!
Edd: Ed! No!
Nazz: Oh, dear...
[Ed starts to run on the cars, spinning the ferris wheel around at top speed.]
Eddy: YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!
Nazz: THIS IS ACTUALLY KIND OF FUN, YOU GUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!!!
[Ed continues running until eventually his foot catches on one of the seats, causing him to get spun around by the ferris wheel as well. Soon, Nazz n’ the Eds are all launched from the ferris wheel and sent soaring through the air, screaming. Eventually, they all smash into a large billboard over the amusement park's entrance reading “MONDO A-GO GO AMUSEMENT PARK”. The billboard then breaks off and falls, flattening the gang beneath it. After a moment, Edd heaves himself out from under the billboard and takes a moment to catch his breath.]
Edd: [Getting up] Oh, now look what we've done! Goodness gracious, when will this day of malfunction and mishap... [Noticing something] um... end?
[Nazz n’ Eddy pull themselves out as Edd examines the billboard in quiet contemplation.]
Eddy: [Pushing a bump back into his head] I’m really starting to hate slapstick.
Nazz: [Rubbing her back] Ow... I think I’m starting to see what you mean about the universe not liking you guys...
Ed: [Holding up a half-eaten corn dog covered in dust] Breakfast, guys. Finders keepers!!!
[Ed gobbles the corn dog to Nazz n’ Eddy’s disgust.]
Nazz: Ew...
Eddy: Glutton.
[Eddy notices Edd’s contemplation and approaches him as Nazz continues to stare at Ed, mildly disgusted.]
Edd: Mondo A-Go Go. Now why does that sound familiar?
Eddy: It don’t! Ed! Find me one of those corn dogs, will ya? I could eat a horse.
Nazz: [Looking around] Preferably one that’s not covered in all kinds of disgusting stuff...
[Edd’s eyes suddenly widen as a realization dawns on him. He then reaches into Eddy's pocket, searches through it, and pulls out Eddy's wallet. He quickly begins retrieving something from within, to Eddy’s annoyance.]
Eddy: Hey, hey, hey! [Trying to the pull the wallet free] Get your mitts off my... !!!
[The wallet flies from Edd’s hands and hits Ed in the face. It then unfolds, revealing parts of Ed’s face on the pictures.]
Eddy: [Stuffing his wallet chain back in his pocket] ... Wallet!
Edd: [Showing off the postcard from Eddy’s brother] Eddy, look! [Reading from the back of the postcard] ‘Mondo A-Go Go’! See how the billboard and the postcard your brother sent you match? He must have mailed it from this amusement park!!!
Nazz: [Pleasantly awed] Oh my god...
Eddy: [Getting it] It does? ... It did???
[Ed, Edd, Nazz, n’ Eddy all grin.]
Eddy: [Grabbing Edd with one arm and Ed n’ Nazz with the other] He's here!? [Leaping into the air ecstatically] WE'RE HERE!!!
[Eddy races around the park, looking for his brother, dragging the others behind them until he accidentally makes them collide with a wall. Ed goes over the wall as Eddy continues charging about.]
Eddy: BIG BRO!!! WHERE ARE YOU, BUDDY!? HEY!!!
Edd: [Getting up, rubbing his head and looking around] There's so many places he could be, Eddy!
Nazz: [Getting up and looking around as well] EDDY’S BROOOOOOTHEEEEER!
Ed: [Running about excitedly] Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
Eddy: [Charging past a shark-shaped ticket booth, spinning it around] BIG BRO!!! IT'S ME!!! EDDY!!! [To his friends] Keep looking, keep looking!!! He’s gotta be around here somewhere!
[Ed sits in a bumper car as Nazz runs around a trinket booth, examining it. Eddy then climbs a loudspeaker pole as Ed accidentally bashes his face into the bumper car’s pole.]
Eddy: BRO!!!
Nazz: DUDE, YOU AROUND HERE???
[Eddy slides down a wire connecting the pole to another one as Nazz looks elsewhere. Ed then notices something and gets up, walking towards what he’s seen as if in a trance. He then stops, staring at it silently. Meanwhile, Edd looks inside a booth while Eddy checks inside a dumpster. Eddy then notices Ed and approaches him.]
Eddy: Hey, why don't you quit standing there and do somethin’--!
Ed: [Suddenly pointing, smacking Eddy in the nose] WHALE!
[Edd n’ Nazz approach as Eddy clutches his nose in pain.]
Edd: A whale?
[Ed is pointing at a whale-shaped trailer amidst a small trailer park in the corner of the amusement park.]
Nazz: Dude, didn't you say your brother used to be a whaler?
Eddy: [Eyes widening] That's his place!!! [Ecstatic] THAT’S GOTTA BE HIS HOUSE!!!
Ed: [Running around ecstatically] EDDY’S BIG BRO! I AM ED!!! SEE ME!?
[Ed loses his balance and falls to the ground, his pants flying off in the process.]
Ed: ... I’m okay.
Edd: Opinion please, Nazz. [Holding up a tie rack] What do you think? Plaid? Stripes. Uh, perhaps more conservative, yes?
Nazz: [Dancing on the spot] Dude, just pick something!!!
Edd: You’re right, you’re right!!!
[Edd puts on his usual tie and hides the tie rack behind his back as Ed puts his pants back on.]
Eddy: [Approaching the trailer] Our problems are over!!!
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[Jimmy is happily riding Wilfred down the street. Suddenly, a loud thump comes from behind him.]
Sarah: Darn it!
[Sarah has fallen off the pig, onto her back.]
Jimmy: [Reaching for Sarah as Wilfred continues onward] Sarah? Are you okay?
[Jimmy falls off as well.]
Jimmy: ... Oh, phooey.
Sarah: [Getting up and approaching Jimmy] We fell off that stupid slippery pig all the way over here, Jimmy!
[Wilfred stops and sniffs at something as Sarah helps Jimmy to his feet.]
Jimmy: Wilfred can't help his oily complexion, Sarah!
[Wilfred picks something up and squeals at Sarah and Jimmy. He then continues walking.]
Jimmy: [Running after Wilfred, excited] Oh! I think he wants us to follow him! Hurry!
Sarah: [Running after Jimmy] Oh, for Pete's sake...
[Wilfred leads them down the road. In the distance is the Mondo A-Go Go Amusement Park.]
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[Eddy climbs the steps to the trailer.]
Eddy: [Preparing to knock] Super sweet!!!
[A hand suddenly grips Eddy’s shoulder and yanks him away -- it’s Lee Kanker, who promptly begins hugging Eddy as the other Kankers approach with their wheelbarrow. Inside the wheelbarrow is a large burlap sack with something inside it.]
Lee: Your queens in shining armour have arrived!
Edd: [Shocked] May? Lee!? MARIE!?
Nazz: [Also shocked] What? I, just... what!?
Marie: We got your back, cutie-pie!
[Marie tips the wheelbarrow, spilling its contents to the ground -- Kevin and Rolf, both badly beaten up and tied up with rope and an extension cord, respectively.]
Rolf: ... Double D Ed-boy?
[Edd leaps into the air in shock.]
Kevin: It's them!!!
Eddy: [Fearful, trying to get away from Lee] What are they doing here??? WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’ HERE!?
Lee: [Pulling Eddy back in, grinning] Taking care of our boyfriends!
Marie: [To Nazz] Outta the way, hussie!
[Marie roughly shoves Nazz to the ground, then begins approaching Edd.]
Nazz: Oof!
Ed: Hey!
[May suddenly runs up to Ed and hugs him.]
May: Aw, you don’t need her when ya got us! [Gesturing to Kevin and Rolf] These guys were chasing you to beat you up, you know!
Marie: Yeah! [Advancing on Edd, pinning him against the trailer] And no one beats up our little love muffins!
Edd: [Sweating profusely] Yes. I mean no. One? Yes?
[A pig suddenly squeals offscreen as Nazz picks herself off the ground.]
Rolf: Wilfred! [Sitting up] Is that you?
[Wilfred wanders onto the scene, followed by Sarah and Jimmy. Jimmy is carrying a large bag of popcorn.]
Sarah: I swear if he eats one more corn dog off the ground, I'll--
Marie: Look! It's those twerps!
Ed: [Jumping into the air, flapping his arms jubilantly] Baby sister!!!
Sarah: [Annoyed, walking up] Jeepers, Ed, you're still in one piece!
Jimmy: [Setting the bag of popcorn on the ground and following Sarah, concerned] Did we miss the Ed’s beating?
Kevin: [Freeing his arm] Nope! [Grabbing Eddy by the leg] You're just in time!!!
Eddy: No!!! Wait!!!
Nazz: Kevin, STOP!!!
[There is a pause as Kevin looks at Nazz in confusion.]
Kevin: ... What?
Nazz: [Stern] Dude, let go of him.
Kevin: .... What!?
[Kevin lets go of Eddy to better address Nazz. Eddy quickly backs away from Kevin.]
Kevin: Babe, what on earth are you talking about?
Nazz: I’m saying, let Eddy go!
[Kevin looks at Nazz incredulously. He crawls over to her.]
Kevin: Excuse me? Have you forgotten what they did to us??? To you???
Nazz: I haven’t forgotten, dude.
Kevin: Then why the heck do you suddenly want to show them mercy??? Those dorks have gotten away with far too much for far too long! Don’t you see it’s time they finally get what they deserve!?
Nazz: Honestly, Kev... I kinda think we’ve given way more than they’ve ever deserved. Like, yeah, they’ve done some bad things over the years, but it’s not as if we’ve ever really given them any incentive to be nice to us, the way we’ve treated them. Honestly, dude, whatever horrible things they’ve done to us, I kinda think we’ve done just as many horrible things to them, if not more. And the worst part is... [Tearing up slightly] I’ve been just as bad as everyone else.
Kevin: [Anxious] Babe, you’re scaring me. Where the heck is all this coming from???
[Nazz sighs and wipes away a tear.]
Nazz: I guess I’ve... been given a lot to think about over the past few days. About myself, the Eds, everything... and, y’know? I’ve realized something. Something I probably should have realized a long time ago. That this... this whole “us vs. them” mentality is causing nothing but... pain and anger. For them, for us, for everyone. It just makes everyone waste too much of their time trying find ways to one-up “the other side” when they could be doing other things. But that stops now. If you ask me, it’s time we all buried the hatchet, apologized for our mistakes, and moved on with our lives. [Smiling hopefully] What do ya say, Kev?
[There is a pause Kevin tries to process this.]
Kevin: ... NO!!! [Suddenly grabbing Nazz’s shirt in desperation] Listen to yourself, babe!!!
Nazz: [Startled] Dude, let go of me!
Kevin: [Slightly hysterical] Don’t you see what’s going on there!? They’ve poisoned you against me!!! They’ve been feeding you nothing but lies this whole time, just so they can get away with everything!!!
Nazz: Dude, you’ve completely lost it! Get off me!!!
[Nazz shoves Kevin to the ground.]
Kevin: Nazz, please, listen to me!!! After everything they’ve done, how can you be on their side!?
Nazz: [Incredulous] Have you even been listening to a word I’ve been saying!? THERE SHOULDN’T EVEN BE “SIDES” IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
[Nazz growls in frustration and turns away from Kevin. She then stops to think for a few moments.]
Nazz: ... You know, Kevin, I really, honestly hoped it wasn’t going to come to this. That you might just be able to realize just how... petty and cruel and... and self-centred we’ve all been. But, if you can’t accept the idea of the Eds being anything but “the enemy”... and if you’re going to force me to pick a side... then I’m sorry, but I’m siding with them.
[Kevin’s eyes widen in horror upon hearing this.]
Rolf: [Confused] Change-of-heart Nazz-girl has joined the Ed-boys?
Kevin: No... no...! .... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S IT, DORK!!! YOU’RE DEAD MEAT!!!
Nazz: Kevin, NO!!!
[Kevin makes a desperate leap at Eddy, almost frothing at the mouth in blind rage. However, thanks to his bindings, he isn’t able to get very far, and winds up landing harmlessly on the ground in front of Eddy. He then desperately flails about, trying to get at Eddy, as Eddy just gives him a look.]
Eddy: ... Uh, yeah, In your dreams, Shovel-chin. Tell you what, why don't you...
[Eddy approaches the trailer, deliberately stepping Kevin's head on the way.]
Eddy: ... talk to my bro! He lives here, ya know.
Kevin: [Horrified, losing steam] ... No way... !
Rolf: Could this be true?
Lee: [Excited] Get in line, girls.
[Ed happily joins Edd n’ Eddy by the trailer door, where Ed n’ Edd stand on either side of Eddy.]
Eddy: Yeah! So tell him how you're gonna beat up his little bro.
[Kevin looks terrified. He turns to Nazz.]
Kevin: Nazz, wait, I--!
[Nazz simply blows a raspberry at Kevin then marches over to join the Eds at the trailer door, standing next to Edd. Eddy then knocks on the door to the tune of “Shave and a Haircut”. The door creaks open a few inches, revealing numerous locks. The four all wait excitedly, Ed bouncing on the spot. Eventually, a voice emerges from within.]
Eddy's Brother: Park don't open ‘till noon.
Eddy: [Awestruck, to Edd] I told you he's a whiz at telling time!
Eddy's Brother: Pipsqueak?
Eddy: Bro!!! [Moving Edd n’ Nazz aside, into Ed] Look out!
[Ed sways on the spot, resulting in Ed, Edd, n’ Nazz all leaning to the side such that their heads wind up balanced on top of Eddy’s. No one seems to mind this.]
Eddy's Brother: Do mom and dad know you're here?
Eddy: As if!
[As Eddy speaks, everyone else’s heads bob back into place.]
Eddy's Brother: Anyone know you're here?
Eddy: Only these chumps who chased us here!
[Kevin and Rolf look up in fear.]
Eddy's Brother: Just a sec.
[Unlocking noises are heard as Nazz n’ the Eds back away from the trailer door.]
Eddy’s Brother: Aren't those ankle-biters from the cul-de-sac?
[Eddy’s brother is seen from the waist down.]
Eddy: [Running behind his brother’s legs] Yeah! And they wanna beat me up! All for nothin’!
[Eddy's brother’s face is seen in extreme close-up as he turns to face Kevin and Rolf, who are reflected in his sunglasses.]
Kevin: ... H-he's lookin’ at you, Rolf!!!
[Kevin pushes Rolf in front of him, then ducks out of sight. Eddy’s brother is then seen in full view.]
Eddy's Brother: [Removing his shades and hanging them off his shirt, menacing] All for nothin’, huh... ? [Picking up Eddy, smirking] Still the troublemakin’ Eddy, I see.
[Eddy’s brother gives Eddy a noogie.]
Eddy: [Chuckling, pushing brother’s hand away] Stop it, bro!
Ed: [Leaning over] I smell my fingers after I eat cheese!
[Ed gives Eddy’s brother a huge grin. Eddy's brother looks at Eddy quizzically.]
Eddy: Um, I told my pals you'd put us up! [Pointing at Ed, poking him in the nose] Ed... [Gesturing to Nazz] Nazz...
[Nazz looks up at Eddy’s brother, grinning whilst blushing profusely. She then turns away and covers her mouth in her hands as she becomes overcome by a fit of the giggles.]
Eddy: ... Er, uh, [Gesturing to Edd] aaaand Double D.
Edd: [Starstruck, approaching Eddy’s Brother, hand outstretched] I, uh, think it's very...
[Edd devolves into unintelligible blubbering, then promptly faints, falling onto his back. After a moment, Eddy’s brother laughs uproariously at this. Eddy hesitantly joins in, only for his brother to suddenly drop him, causing him to bounce down the trailer’s front steps and onto the grass.]
Eddy's Brother: [Leaning in close to Eddy] Playin’ the field, eh, pipseak? I like it! Didn’t know ya had it in you! But, uh, I gotta ask... how come one a’ your girlfriends is wearing a sock on her head?
Eddy: Er, she’s not my... [Confused] wait, girlfriends?
[Eddy’s brother suddenly hoists Eddy into the air, raises his leg, and balances Eddy on his foot.]
Eddy's Brother: Yeah, sure! I'll help you out.
[Edd regains consciousness and gets up as a massive grin spreads across Eddy’s face.]
Eddy: REALLY??? [Diving into his brother’s chest, hugging him and nuzzling his chin] Aw, bro, what'd I do without you??? You are so my hero!
[Edd n’ Nazz both grin as Ed excitedly runs around in circles.]
Ed: [Grabbing Edd n’ Nazz and spinning them around] Happy place, guys, happy place!
Jimmy: Isn't it touching, Sarah? It's like a fairy tale come true!
[Sarah grimaces. Meanwhile, Rolf is tugging on a despondent Kevin’s bindings with his teeth.]
Kevin: [Nearly catatonic] ... I can’t believe it... I can’t believe those twerps are just gonna get away with...
[Rolf successfully breaks the ropes binding Kevin, falling backwards as Kevin falls forwards.]
Eddy: Bro, don’t!
[Kevin and Rolf look up, surprised.]
Eddy's Brother: [Holding Eddy by the lip] Just for old times' sake, let's play... Uncle.
Eddy: [Wary] Uncle?
[Eddy’s brother spins Eddy around in midair, then grabs Eddy’s leg as Eddy lands upside-down.]
Eddy's Brother: Wanna crash at my place, don'tcha?
Eddy: [Grinning] That's why we came all the way--
[Eddy’s face suddenly scrunches up in in pain.]
Eddy: UNCLE!!! Uncle!!! Uncle!
[Eddy's brother is twisting Eddy’s leg into a tight spiral.]
Eddy's Brother: [Grinning maliciously] Say what?
Eddy: Uncle!!! Uncle uncle!
Edd: ... Oh, my...
Nazz: Dude...
[Eddy's brother sets Eddy down and laughs as Eddy spins around like a jackhammer due to his unwinding leg. When Eddy finishes, his brother grabs him and lifts him into the air.]
Eddy's Brother: That was good, Pipsqueak.
[Eddy’s strokes his goatee thoughtfully.]
Eddy: [Hopeful] So can we go inside now?
Eddy's Brother: Why not? [Poking Eddy in the stomach] Don't forget to wipe your feet.
[Eddy suddenly gets thrown violently against the door of the trailer. He bounces off, back to his brother, who lobs him again. This happens numerous times as the others watch, shocked.]
Kevin: Dude... no way... !
Lee: What's he doin’ to my man!?
[Lee's sisters have to hold her back to keep her from attacking Eddy's brother. At this point, Eddy is hitting the trailer so hard that he is coming close to knocking the trailer over. Ed, Edd, n’ Nazz all look concerned. Eddy’s brother then holds a badly-beaten Eddy in the air by his leg.]
Eddy: [Desperately clinging to his brother’s arm] Bro! Give it up!
Eddy's Brother: [Sarcastically surprised] ‘Give it up’? [Grinning evilly, putting his face in Eddy’s] I thought you wanted to hang with your hero.
Eddy: [Close to tears] I do, bro, I do!
Edd: Mister Eddy's brother!!!
[Eddy and his brother both look up in surprise to see Edd n’ Nazz marching towards them, both looking stern.]
Edd: As the older sibling, don't you think you should rather be setting an example for Eddy, and not belittle him in front of his friends!?
Nazz: Yeah, you big jerk! Where do you get off treating Eddy like this!? He’s practically half... [Trailing off] your, uh, age...
[Edd n’ Nazz both lose steam as Eddy’s brother gives them a truly sadistic, evil grin. As this happens, Eddy desperately tries to free himself from his brother’s grasp, going as far as to dig into the ground.]
Eddy's Brother: Half my age, huh? Well, then I guess ol’ pipsqueak’s bigger then he’s ever been before now. Not that that’s sayin’ much, heh. [To Eddy] I like your girlfriends, pipsqueak.
[Eddy’s brother suddenly slams Eddy down on Edd’s head, burying Edd in the ground. He then swings Eddy sideways into Nazz, sending her flying through the air, knocking her bandana off in the process. She then collides with one of the other trailers so violently she breaks through the side of the trailer, causing it to fall onto its side.]
Eddy’s Brother: [Lifting Eddy into the air, grinning at him] ... They got spunk.
[May and Marie let go of Lee, who stops trying to charge down Eddy’s brother as all three Kankers look on in shock.]
Marie: Double D!!!
Kevin: NAZZ!!!
Ed: [Panicked] DAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!
Sarah: What the heck?!
Jimmy: SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!
Rolf: [Puffing out his chest and flexing his muscles] Rolf has had enough of your flabdoodle, elder one! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MERCILESS--!!!
[Kevin suddenly charges past Rolf and addresses Eddy’s brother, to Rolf’s surprise.]
Kevin: [Pulling up his sleeve, brandishing a fist] Hey, bro guy!!! You better lay off him right now, OR ELSE!!!
[Eddy’s brother is currently pulling on Eddy, who has grabbed the trailer door in desperation. Eddy’s brother turns to glare at Kevin, who is soon joined by the other kids.]
Jimmy: Yeah, you big bully!
Eddy’s Brother: Oh, yeah? And what are you twerps gonna do about it!?
[While Eddy’s brother is distracted by the other kids, Ed is cowering by the side of trailer as the trailer door starts to come off its hinges. However, after a moment of thought, a look of anger and determination spreads across Ed’s face. He then reaches over and pulls the pin from one of the door’s hinges. The door promptly breaks loose, and it and Eddy both fly through the air towards Eddy’s brother as Ed covers his face with his hand, though leaving enough space between his fingers to peek. Eddy's brother turns just in time to see the door collide violently with his face, then bounce off, taking Eddy with it. The door and Eddy tumble along the ground a bit before coming to a stop in front of the kids, who back up out of the way, looking concerned. They then look up at Eddy's brother, who is stumbling around in a daze.]
Eddy's Brother: [Falling over in slow motion] Unh... uuuunnnncccclllleeee...
[Eddy’s brother collapses on the ground, unconscious. Ed then pulls Edd free from the ground.]
Edd: [Rushing towards Eddy] Eddy, speak to me!!! Are you all right?
[As Edd does this, Ed rushes towards the knocked-over trailer, where he helps pull Nazz from the wreckage. She shakes her head, dazed. After regaining her senses, she n’ Ed both rush to join Edd at Eddy’s side, where Edd has his hands on Eddy’s chest.]
Nazz: Dude, are you ok!?
[Eddy simply stares up at the sky, looking thoroughly broken. After a moment, he pushes Edd’s hands away.]
Eddy: ... I made it all up, Double D. Everything about my brother was a lie.
[Ed, Edd, n’ Nazz all exchange looks of concern.]
Eddy: I just made things up. So people would like me. Think I was “cool”. But boy was I wrong! The scam, my brother... this... [Tearing up, covering his face with his hands] when am I gonna learn, Double D?
[There is brief pause as Eddy quietly whimpers.]
Edd: [Pulling Eddy’s hands out of his face, smiling] I think you just have, Eddy.
[Eddy looks up at Edd in shock. After a moment, he grins back at his friend.]
Nazz: [Tearing up, hugging Ed and burying her face in his jacket] Oh, you guys!!!
[Everyone basks in the moment.]
Kevin: Grab him!
[Everyone looks up in shock to see Kevin and Rolf charging towards them.]
Ed: [Running to meet the aggressors, inadvertently dragging Nazz behind him] No! Take me!!!
Nazz: Ack!!!
[Nazz loses her grip on Ed’s jacket and falls to the ground. She then looks up just in time to see Kevin and Rolf charge past her.]
Nazz: [Worried] Hey, now wait just a moment!!!
[Meanwhile, Edd braces for impact as Eddy gets on his hands and knees.]
Eddy: [Pleading] Okay!!! I'm sorry! Honest! I didn't mean to hurt you guys!!!
[Kevin and Rolf converge on Eddy. However, rather than harming him, they instead toss him in the air repeatedly whilst cheering for him. Edd n’ Nazz both regard this with surprise as Nazz picks herself off the ground. Ed then runs back into view, having run past Kevin and Rolf altogether. He then falls onto his rear as Sarah runs up to him and hugs him. Kevin and Rolf then set Eddy down as Rolf holds his arm up.]
Rolf: Let Rolf rub the pit of victory, Ed-boy!!!
[Rolf rubs Eddy's armpit.]
Kevin: [Patting Eddy on the back] I gotta admit, pal. [Pumping his fist] That was so choice!
Eddy: ... [Confused] It was?
Kevin: Yeah, man. Y’know, you’re not half bad.
Eddy: ... I am? [Grinning] I AM!?
[Nazz runs up to Eddy, hugs him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. They then exchange a grin. As the kids and the Eds all chatter happily amongst themselves, the Kanker sisters approach Eddy's brother’s unconscious body.]
Lee: What a deadbeat this guy turned out ta be!
Marie: He don't look so tough.
[Suddenly, the Eds and kids celebration is interrupted by a loud honking noise. They all watch as a bus drives onto the scene, swerves past them, spins around, and ultimately comes to a stop nearby. The doors then open. Everyone regards the bus with nervous anticipation, Jimmy clinging to Ed whilst shivering in fear. A voice then emerges from within.]
Captain Melonhead: Your time of reckoning is now, rapscallions! [Bursting forth from the bus] It's melon time!!!
[Captain Melonhead charges the Eds, holding Splinter’s broomstick as if it were a jousting lance.]
Eddy: WHERE'D HE COME FROM!?
Nazz: [Stepping in front of Eddy, arms outstretched] Jonny, wait!!!
[Oblivious to Nazz’s intrusion, Captain Melonhead continues charging, using Splinter to grab both Nazz n’ Eddy, hoisting them into the air. He then loops around, picking up Ed n’ Edd in turn, knocking Jimmy over in the process. Captain Melonhead then tosses his captives into the air. They all fall to the ground in a heap, landing in the order they were captured. Finally, Captain Melonhead leaps on top of the pile and poses heroically.]
Captain Melonhead: No thanks are necessary, citizens!
[Beat]
Sarah: You idiot! [Tackling Captain Melonhead] Leave our friends alone!!!
Kevin: [Joining the attack] Back off, melon dweeb!
[A cloud of dust forms as Sarah and Kevin begin beating the snot out of Captain Melonhead. Nazz n’ the Eds all watch, surprised by this. Nazz in particular winces sympathetically, and covers her eyes with her free hand.]
Rolf: [Charging into the dust cloud] Leave some produce for Rolf!!!
[As the fight winds down, Jimmy runs over and begins helping the Eds to their feet, starting with Edd, who he dusts off.]
Kevin: [Emerging from the dust cloud, wiping his hands] Sorry about that. Say, let's go to my place! Jawbreakers are on me!!!
[Massive grins spread across the Ed’s faces. Ed gives Edd a hug.]
Jimmy: [Running around excitedly] Party at Kevin’s! WHEEEEEEE!
[The kids lift the Eds into the air, Sarah carrying Ed, Kevin carrying Edd, and Rolf carrying Eddy.]
Eddy: We did it, Double D!!! Everyone loves us! WE’RE FINALLY IN, BABY!!!
[Ed hugs Eddy. Eddy, though still grinning profusely, struggles to free himself.]
Edd: And it only took 130 episodes, 4 specials, and a movie, Eddy!
[Nazz looks up at the Eds and smiles. However, she then turns towards Jonny with a look of concern. Jonny is currently lying on the ground, unconscious. His clothes are torn, his pants have been removed, his melon helmet has been broken, his tongue has been tied to his leg, and he has been all-around thoroughly beaten up. Nazz quickly runs up to Jonny, regards him sympathetically for a moment, then gingerly lifts him and Plank off the ground. She then drags them over to a nearby trailer, setting Jonny down next to the trailer as if hoping he’ll be more comfortable this way. She then sets Plank down next to Jonny, dusts Jonny off a bit, then again regards him with a look of concern, as if not sure what to do. After a moment, however, her attention then turns back to the others.]
Nazz: Hey, wait up, you guys!
[Nazz rushes to catch up with the others. Upon doing so, she looks up at Eddy and gives him a wink and a thumbs up. Seeing this, he returns the favour with both thumbs as Ed hugs him again.]
Ed: Let's sing a song!
Jimmy:
♪When you stub your toe♪
♪And it hurts you know...♪
Ed, Edd, Nazz, Eddy, Sarah, Jimmy, Kevin & Rolf:
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you trip on your face♪
♪And your teeth are misplaced♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you're flying low♪
♪And you're giving a show♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you take off your shoe♪
♪And your feet stink pee-yew♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
[The kids all run off while singing as Wilfred eats out of the remains of Jonny’s helmet. Meanwhile, Lee and May Kanker are dragging Eddy's brother back inside his trailer.]
Lee: First one inside gets ta give him mouth to mouth!
[As May and Lee drag Eddy’s brother back inside, Marie runs up with the trailer door. Though she briefly loses her balance, she quickly regains it, and follows her sisters inside the trailer, reattaching the door behind her. The Kankers are then all heard giggling from inside the trailer as the view fades to black. Edd then places a label on the screen reading “THE END”.]
Jimmy: Second verse, same as the first!
♪When you stub your toe♪
♪And it hurts you know...♪
Ed, Edd, Nazz, Eddy, Sarah, Jimmy, Kevin & Rolf:
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you trip on your face♪
♪And your teeth are misplaced♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you're flying low♪
♪And you're giving a show♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
♪When you take off your shoe♪
♪And your feet stink pee-yew♪
♪Friends are there to help you♪
[The Eds and kids all laugh.]
Producers
Daniel Sioui
Ruth Vincent
Voices
Ed .................................................................Matt Hill
Edd ...........................................................Samuel Vincent
Eddy ............................................................Tony Sampson
Jimmy .....................................................Keenan Christensen
Jonny .......................................................David Paul Grove
Sarah/Lee ........................................................Janyse Jaud
Kevin/Marie ....................................................Kathleen Barr
Nazz/May .....................................................Erin Fitzgerald
Rolf ...........................................................Peter Kelamis
Eddy’s Brother .................................................Terry Klassen
Voice Director
Terry Klassen
Editor
Ken Cathro
Art Director
Danny Antonucci
Color Design
Bonni Reid
Background Design
Rod Filbrandt
Hyuck Lee
Character/Prop Design
Cory Toomey
Hyuck Lee
Additional Storyboard Artists
Sabrina Alberghetti
Sherann Johnson
Simon Piniel
Design Coordinator
Vince Orcullo
Design Consultant
Jilly Mentiply
Inking
Christine Li
Production Coordinator
Zoe Borroz
Supervising Animation Director
Marlene Robinson May
Exposure Sheet Directors
Ron Campbell
Sherann Johnson
Karen Peterson
Marlene Robinson May
Animation Production
Yeson Entertainment
Animation Directors
Kwang Jin Kim
Chul Ki Kwon
Layout Supervisor
Suck Ho Shin
Assistant to the Animation Director
Theresa Pukarnyk
Post Production Supervisor
Ken Cathro
Music Recording Engineer
Shawn Pierce
Sound Effects Editors
Jeff Davis
Dean Giammarco
Bill Sheppard
Dialogue Editor
Johnny Ludgate
Jeremy Duayne Elzinga
Audio Assistant Editors
Luke Mathers
Mix Technician
Peter Eliuk
Audio Technical Support
Gordon Sproule
Robert Hunter
Post Audio Coordinator
Amy Giammarco
Studio Audio Assistants
David Livingstone
Ella Pinckney
Sound Reader
Beans-N-Rice Editing
Voice Production
Voicebox Productions Inc.
On-Line Facility
Studio Post & Imaging Inc.
Music Editing
MX Solutions Inc.
Post Audio Facility
dbc sound inc
Vancouver, Canada
Executive in Charge of Production
for Cartoon Network
Jay Bastian
Executive Producer
Danny Antonucci
Original Script Editing
Super Goomba
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The cul-de-sac is seen. A red hedge rises from behind a fence, a makeshift periscope is hidden beneath the foliage. The periscope looks around. It leads deep underground, into the melon cave, where Jonny looks through it. Jonny chuckles evilly, still wearing his tattered costume. One of the melon-chairs sits behind him, facing away from him.]
Jonny: [Deranged] This is your craaaaziest plan ever, Plank! [To the chair] We'll show them! [Spinning the chair around to reveal Plank sitting in it] WE'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!!
Plank:
Jonny: What’s that?
Plank:
Jonny: [Leaning towards Plank] They did, didn't they! [Grinning psychotically] Yyyyeeeessss... [Running off into the darkness] The goody-goody-two-shoe days of Captain Melonhead and Splinter have come to an end!!! [Emerging, now wearing a cape and holding a hollowed-out squash helmet] And out of the darkness will rise... the villainous days of THE GOURD!
[The Gourd places the helmet on his head.]
The Gourd: [Leaping over to Plank] And his evil cohort, TIMBER, THE DARK SHARD!!!
[The Gourd swishes his cape dramatically.]
The Gourd: Together, we will exact revenge, on the entire! CUL! DE! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!!!
[The Gourd spins in circles, laughing psychotically and pulling on his own face.]
Timber, the Dark Shard:
[The Gourd stops, confused.]
The Gourd: ... What?
Timber, the Dark Shard:
The Gourd: There's no time left?
Timber, the Dark Shard:
The Gourd: [Looking at his watch] It's the end of the movie?
Timber, the Dark Shard:
The Gourd: And this is just a purely hypothetical ‘what-if’ scenario with no actual bearing on canon events? ... What the heck does that mean!?
A.K.A CARTOON INC.
CARTOON NETWORK
A SUPER GOOMBA STORY
#Ed Edd Nazz Eddy's Big Picture Show#eeNe#Ed#Edd#Nazz#Eddy#Big Picture Show#nazz appreciation month#ed edd n eddy
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Ed, Edd, N’(azz) Eddy’s BIG PICTURE SHOW
Hello!
To (try to) make a long story short, I’m a fan of Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy who’s been following http://book-o-scams.tumblr.com/ for a few years now. About a year ago, someone (idr exactly who, most likely some anon) sent him an ask regarding a theoretical alternate version of BPS wherein Nazz winds up having to spend the movie travelling with the Eds. As someone who has always been fascinated with Nazz as a character, I was intrigued by the idea, and have spent the past year scripting just such a story -- an alternate version of BPS where Nazz travels with the Eds. As an aside, I have already shown the story to http://book-o-scams.tumblr.com/, for which I have received an overwhelmingly positive reception, and I can’t stress enough how cool that feels.
I’ve now decided to post this story to be viewed by the general public. However, just copying and pasting it directly from Tumblr... kinda destroys the formatting. As such, I’m going to make two posts -- first a link to a Mediafire download of the story in .rtf format (the version which should hopefully have the proper formatting), and an unformatted version directly on Tumblr for those who don’t want to have to download a thing and don’t mind reading a story with ugly formatting.
(EDIT: Oh, I should prolly add -- credit goes to whoever sent the original ask to Book o’ Scams for the exact method by which Nazz winds up going with the Eds, and for, well, coming up with the original idea that inspired me to do this. If I ever figure out exactly who you were, I’ll be sure to credit you by name!)
Without further ado -- my attempt at finally giving Nazz the focus she deserves. Hope you enjoy it!
http://www.mediafire.com/file/fou3a2okm7r4vsh/eeNeBPS.rtf
#Ed Edd Nazz Eddy's Big Picture Show#eeNe#Ed#Edd#Nazz#Eddy#Big Picture Show#nazz appreciation month#ed edd n eddy
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