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well at least at the end of the day its the end of the day

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"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

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i cannot wait to financially afford who i really am

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Sending love to everyone who has been having mental breakdowns in private lately, while outwardly pretending to be okay all the time.

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I feel so alone all the time and it's so tiring

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someone: hey are you doing okay?

me, planning my suicide and violently self-sabotaging: yeah why

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I’d rather get hit by a car than have my heart broken ever again

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me? being someone’s type? unrealistic

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“It’s true, after a while you lose the will to live. And after a while, that feeling can no longer be reversed. That will to live, it never comes back. Your life? You live on autopilot. You do things, but you feel nothing. Nothing gives you joy anymore. You wake up, but it has no purpose anymore..you’ve lost your purpose. Nothing holds any meaning for you. You wake up..just for the sake of getting up. It’s the human thing to do. But the truth is, there’s the absence of purpose and worth. It has been long gone by now..and I am not sure if it will ever come back.”

—

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14 years old me would not believe I'm still alive.. 

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Me, doing my silly little crafts, trying not to fall into a hopeless abyss:

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having thoughts is absolutely ruining my life