stumblelina

[stumblelina]

[stumblelina]

[stumblelina]

[stumblelina]

Being raised without stability really fucks with your head, you’re forever trying to figure out a person’s “pattern“ to see how you have to approach them, whether they’re in a good mood and it’s safe, or if they’re in a bad mood and you have to be careful or maybe avoid them altogether, just because those who raised you could never keep a consistent emotional reaction

[stumblelina]

“maybe breathing is the only thing you can do right now. maybe your success is just surviving the day. it’s ok. you don’t need to compare your journey to others. it’s ok. it’s ok to just breathe.”

— Just so you know

[stumblelina]

penn & leighton on the MET steps // february 6th, 2012

[stumblelina]

I want to do everything at once, I bite off more than I can chew, I want to grow as a person, grow my relationship with God, be a kinder person, learn, write, give all the love I can give, listen to new music, forgive more, and I want to do everything in the snap of my fingers but I just drain myself, and I crumble and I pray to God to help me hide my frustration, getting up is not as easy as I thought it was gonna be...

[stumblelina]

Hide and seek with a blindfold

I chose to play hide and seek, I loved it when you seeked for me but when my turn came I decided to put a blindfold on and blame you for not being able to find you, so I decided to tell myself that you had left, when in reality you were right beside me, but yet I believed my lies, the sadness, the pain and madness and with you right beside me in pain I would ask “oh God where are you at” but never forcing yourself on my life, you let me come to you slowing, and when I finally decided to take the bilndfold off, when I finally analyzed my actions, my thoughts, my feelings, I found you and the healing started little by little...

[stumblelina]

Home...

I fell so many times I made a home out of it, anywhere but feeling down was not where I wanted to be bc that was my safe place, I tired many times moving out, to build a home elsewhere but life, my actions wanted the opposite. I had built a toxic home for myself and I couldn’t leave bc that was the only home i knew of, but after years and years I’m moving out, I found a new home it’s not perfect there but I do have the Love, Gace and Mercy of God, and well I think that’s All I’ll ever need, just The Lord by my side through the ups and downs, and sideways and zigzags...

After 24 years I finally found a new home...

[stumblelina]

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me…to throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling…”

— Aldous Huxley

[stumblelina]

Love...

Oh love I can’t wait to finally meet you, to welcome you into my life, to hug you and never let you go, and when we finally meet, I’ll water you and take care of you and well love you.

[stumblelina]

Mental health...

Over the course of the past three months I got diagnosed with so many things, and my heart just broke not because I was putting myself down but because sadly in our culture mental health is a joke and if you go see a psychiatrist your crazy, and in my head, while I was receiving the diagnostic in the voice of my family members and friends I was just hearing them say that I was crazy. I felt alone completely alone, things like “crazy house”, “cura loco”, would set me off into an anxiety attack because in my head they knew what I had and were calling me out, even if they weren’t but that was just my thinking mechanism, and I would just become undone I wanted to disappear or just someone to hug me, to just hug me because I was dying inside...

I’m slowly coping with the diagnostics I received and I’m seeing them as a process I’m going through, I am not the diagnostic, I am me, Alondra....

[stumblelina]

Medicated...

I’m trying to make it work, to have peace in my mind, to heal the echos and chaos is my mind. But the only one who can completely heal me is just one person, no not a person, one Being which is Jesus Christ my Savior.

[stumblelina]

• hogwarts houses: ravenclaw • intelligence, wisdom, creativity, originality, individuality, acceptance; those of wit and learning will always find their kind.

[stumblelina]

☾  l u n a   l o v e g o o d ☽ — requested by @wandaomanov 

Thank you so much, Dobby, for rescuing me from that cellar. It’s so unfair that you had to die, when you were so good and brave. I’ll always remember what you did for us. I hope you’re happy now.

[stumblelina]

@hogwartsonline creation event | 💛 Hufflepuff 💛

“Hufflepuff House is the Hogwarts house of founder Helga Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff House values character traits such as dedication, fair play, and hard work.”

[stumblelina]

When Marnie Was There (2014) dir. Hiromasa Yonebayashi