stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

been a while

It has been while since i have been on here. but i made it through the year teaching and i am gonna miss it. I know we are moving and i didnt want to put the next teacher in a situation were they come into a bad situation. but oh well. i feel like i am going to be stressing for money but hey this is something i knew going into this. however i have money saved up because i was doing smart things lol. my eyes are getting heavy so maybe i should go to bed. 

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

Jury Duty

So i have jury duty!! This is my first time having it since i became a adult in this country. So we will see how it goes tomorrow. Welp just when you thought, you had work tomorrow. 

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

Wedding Dress

Today i picked up my wedding dress and i swear it is to good to be true. i haven’t seen this dress since i picked it out in September . seeing in my actual size and stuff is awesome. this make my wedding real . very real. i cannot wait until the day comes!!! Aug 17

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

So i am not doing my chapter 5 lesson 2 powerpoint

well i like half way done but i got bored . so i decided to join this website. i know i am basically talking to myself but it feels nice thinking someone actually reading my pointless shit. 

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

This song has been my favorite song since it came out. I do not know what this song has done to me but i love it so much

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

This is picture from area where i am from. How Sweet home i guess. I have left my home state for almost 4 years. However i always travel back once or twice a year. Then i realize their is nothing really left in my home state. You know my family and a few friends. What else is their for me you know. State that i live in now is not bad. I have a few friends and i even stated my family and got married here. But my love for my hometown is always there even thought i did not grow until i left this state. So why do i want to go back there. What am i missing here that my hometown has. Or am i scared of fulling living my life somewhere else and not sure of the unknown. I know i stick out in my area because i am no longer the majority, i and the minority more than ever. I never really focused on my skin color until i drop in area where i am different and i can and will be judge by the color of my skin. Is this just excuse for me to go home because i was judge for looking like i am mixed but i know damn well i dont look like i am. Or being told i must be from the mother land because i am too pretty to be American. 

Maybe i just need to move to another state and i will find out more about myself. this move will be coming sooner or later because the military moves us around. 

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

this growing up shit

I have been struggling with this adult shit. but not as in paying bills and making sure my child is alive. More like i still cant believe i am one. I wish i can go back to child hood where i can worry free, pain free and like 15 pounds lighter.

I realize my life is pretty good but this working everyday shit it killing me. I have developed horrible back pain for being on my feet every single day. i have actually go the physical therapy for it but it only helps for a little while.   

Then realizing that teaching is not the job for you anymore is hard. Like only thing i am going to really miss with teaching is holiday breaks. But i am done dealing with other people kids. Like some of these parents really send their kids to schools for like i baby sitting service and dont even care if they are passing their classes or not.

So after this schools year i am going to try a different job once we move. I think a new area to live in would make this growing up shit a little bit better. I hate this raining and cold for 9 out of 12 months. like who really wants to be cold year around.

[stuck-between-real-and-fake-blog]

My First blog I guess

Hey all

I Doubt that anyone has found my page anyways since i just signed up for this.

i hope this will become  a outlet for me to get my thoughts together when i am sitting at home going crazy. Yes i go crazy a lot and i get stuck in thoughts a whole lot which can be bad for some people. However i not going to let my thoughts consume me anymore.

I am 28 years old and i have a whole life to live. I refuse to let my thought prevent me from living my life to fullest.