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𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝒸𝓇ℴ𝓌𝒹 ℴ𝒻 𝓉𝒽ℴ𝓊𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈

k. zoldyck x fem! reader

𝒮𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈! - On another adventure, the group is in over their heads when you are given the “role” of a lost princess, and Killua tells you his history with her to help you get into character.

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈! - Guilt and lying (oops), blatant copying of the plot of ‘Anastasia’ (sorry it’s just too good!), kind of cringe (reader is the lost princess) (wow who would’ve seen that coming!), doesn’t really have a solid ending (reader is left confused), unedited ☹️

𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽ℴ𝓇𝓈 𝒩ℴ𝓉ℯ! 🍓 - I am very obsessed with HxH and Anastasia right now, so why not combine!!! (Also please listen to ‘In A Crowd of Thousands’ while reading its so good)

Despite everything you have been through before, this is unsurprisingly the most insane thing you’ve ever done.

On a rickety train, your friends are all asleep around you. The dim lights would have lulled you to sleep in any other instance, but this time, you were far too anxious to even close your eyes. By dawn, you would be in a kingdom you’ve never seen before, putting on your best performance for a panel of individuals who will likely see right through you, trying to convince them, and the thousands of civilians who resided there that you were the long lost princess they’ve spent so much time looking for.

Even if they did believe you, no one would really win here. All you would do is give people you’ve never met false hope and comfort that the princess had come home. It was all just one huge lie, and for what? To get your hands on villains in hiding?

Your mind was racing, eyes focused on the strained floor of the aisle as the country-side scenery was slowly filled with more and more homes and other buildings.

“You okay?” You snapped out of it when an all-too-familiar voice whispered to you in the darkness. You jumped slightly, your attention breaking from the floor to Killua’s face, sitting right in front of you, his gaze trained on your nervous expression.

You shouldn’t have been surprised, of course he was awake. Blinking slightly, you shrunk under his gaze, shifting and you tried to craft the perfect response in your distracted mind.

Although you tried, you realized that you could say you were fine a million times over and he wouldn’t believe it, none of your friends would at this point.

“I just- I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.” You muttered, rubbing your tired eyes as exhaustion finally hit you like a truck, even though your body was too wired to fall asleep. Facts and pictures were tangled in your mind, all about the lost princess. What seemed like hundreds of faces floated in the back of your head, most likely permanently attached to names in your brain. You knew everything about this girl, you could point out her bedroom window from an outside view of the house, and name off the top of your head where her furniture lays in there. Why did you still feel so unprepared?

Killua squinted at you, like he was trying to glance at what was below the surface of your slightly sweaty skin. “Why? You know who she was and how she acted. More than any of the other wannabe-princesses tried to do.”

You weren’t surprised by his bluntness, you’ve gotten used to it by now, so used to it that you’ve started to enjoy his honesty. It was always needed against your sugar-coated smiles.

The search for the princess has been ongoing for years, ever since she went missing after the massacre of the rest of her family on a snowy evening when she was just a child. Many thought she was dead, but since her body was never found, there was no telling where she was, which was used as the subtle ray of hope that got dimmer and dimmer as years passed, especially with the introduction of wannabe-princesses pretending to be royal flesh and blood for whatever monetary gain they believed they would get from it.

Money makes the world go around, doesn’t it?

But then again, how were you better than any of these girls? You were doing the exact same thing, weren’t you? Going around and lying to vulnerable people for your own gain. It left a sick feeling in your stomach, but you couldn’t decipher if it was the immense guilt, or the connection you felt to the princess. The one you’ve felt for the long time.

“I know, it’s just- I don’t know if I can be like her. Sure I know her, but that’s not the same as being.” You explained quietly, the soft snores of the other three grounding you to reality. The sun was slowly rising, now peeking above the horizon with the faintest of glows, and Killua just watched as you sighed.

“Why?” He asked simply, and although you were never much of a hitter, you felt the distinct need to smack him upside his head. But, before the instinct reached your body, you squinted softly, thinking about the question.

You’ve felt a connection to the princess since you were a child, a small orphan taken in by the loveliest of lovely couples, who had always anted a child but could never have one. At the age of nine, you followed the news coverage of the search to find her. Homes and train cars in the area were searched from top to bottom, small girls matching her description were stopped and questioned. You found it all fascinating, but the thing you found most interesting were the dreams you had about her.

You had dreams of the night of the massacre, a grand ballroom, a bright, glittering blanket of snow covered in blood. They all began as the most exquisite dream, and ended in a grueling night terror. You woke up in a cold sweat after all of them, and, in all honesty, you would have forgotten about the dreams if they hadn’t resurfaced with your new adventure.

“I can’t be her because I’m not her,” You explained, trying to study the look on Killua’s face. It was the look which told you that you were an idiot. At this point, the look was so distinguished that you believed it was just for you, in moments you didn’t live up to what was expected of you as a “genius”.

You weren’t actually a genius, you’ve just had a nearly-perfect memory since you were small. Sometimes you could even vividly remember the day your now-parents picked you up off of the streets. You remember being cold and hungry, but in all honesty you can’t recall how you got into the state, or where your birth parents were. Perhaps you never knew them.

“Well, you could act that Gon, but that doesn’t mean you are Gon.” You continued, desperately trying to get that look off of his face. It made him look like an old, irritated professor searching for a wildly impossible answer he just made up in his mind. You would have told him this, but a certain knot in your throat stopped you for an unknown reason. Now, you just ed stared at each other, and waited.

“You don’t have to be her, you just have to be enough like her to convince everyone you are.” His explanation was lackluster at best and redundant at worst, and the stress mixed with the irritation he was causing made your eye twitch only slightly, and that slight movement in your body made Killua jump upright. You scoffed into a fit of giggles, only stopping when he spoke again.

“Geez, are you actually that worried?” He blinked a few times, as if he was actually bewildered at the fact that you were anxious, like he hasn’t seen it a million times before. You just looked down at your lap, swiping your sweaty palms against the fabric of your pants. You could feel his eyes on you, heavy as rocks on your shoulders and not attempting to hide their weight.

“I met her, y’know? Before it happened.” He spoke quietly, and the sound of his words made your head shoot up. He, of course, didn’t need to explain what ‘it’ was, everyone knew what ‘it’ meant. The night the king, his wife, and all but one of his children were murdered in their very own castle. The princess was the only one to get away, well, people assume she got away.

“You did? When?” You shot back, leaning forward in your seat. When did Killua Zoldyck have the chance to meet a princess? Didn’t he spend the majority of his childhood on a mountain? Well, considering his father left him at Heavens Arena for months when he was a little boy, anything could happen.

“When I was like, six,” He leaned his head into his palm, almost looking bored, a complete contrast to his friend across from him, leaning as far forward in her chair possible before she fell to the ground. Knowing her, he wouldn’t be surprised if she did fall. “My dad went on a mission in town a couple months before it happened, and he brought be along. He was protecting the royal family, actually.”

He could see it now, the crowded streets, seeming even more busy because of how small he was. The sun was high and blinding in the sky, beating down on him in sweltering heat. He didn’t mind though, he’d been through worse, and his father even worse, who didn’t even sweat as he pushed through the crowd.

“There was a parade that day, that’s why he was there, to follow their car and make sure nothing could hurt them.” Killua explained, although the sentence seemed silly, knowing that happened to them in the winter of that very same year. He remembers listening in on his fathers phone call after it happened, the usual stoic look on his face, with something strange, a gleam in his eye he couldn’t place at the time, although now he knows it was something comparable to sadness, or even disappointment.

“There must have been like, a thousand people there lining the streets. It was super loud, and hard to see, but I somehow got to see the car.” He explained, remembering how he had looked through the cracks in people’s legs, watching as an elegant, expensive car rolled by, the family sitting within it. They all smiled softly, waving to the people of their town, and then he saw her.

“Was the princess there?” Your excited voice cut him off, and he scowled in irritation. “I was getting to that!” The yelling was instinctive, but caused the two of them to freeze as they turned to look towards their friends, still sleeping. “Sorry.” You muttered, shifting in your seat, a contagious grin on your face.

“She was there, right next to her mom. I think she was my age, but she sat so… straight. Like proper, y’know. She was really royalty, and she was proud, her older siblings acted more childish that she did.” Killua recalled, a small red flush creeping onto his face, and before you could gawk over his simple blush, he continued to tell his story.

“I- I stared at her, and everyone was cheering so loud but I just…stared.” You almost cooed, but decided not to because Killua was the type to absolutely keep vital information from you if you annoyed him enough. It was sort of sweet, you could never imagine Killua having a crush on anyone, even as a kid, you found it adorable.

He continued, “Then I started running, and I called out her name. Everyone was going crazy but I pushed through them to the side of the street. I could already tell my dad was pissed, even though he hadn’t called for me yet, but I don’t think I even cared. I even snuck through the guard, only for a second, and I went up to the car and reached for her…” He paused, and you almost fell out of you seat in anticipation. “and she smiled at me.”

You were astonished by the softness in his tone, a longing in his eyes that set your heart ablaze. You’ve never seen him like this before, even though you can’t deny that you’ve wanted to.

“Then I ran away, before the guards could catch me, and the parade went on as usual.” He then shrugged, the look in his eyes vanishing before your own as quick as it came, and you found yourself wanting it back.

“That’s sweet.” You smiled, your heart touched by his subtle gentleness, and his face turned red again, this time with embarrassment. He looked away in true Killua fashion and you were surprised when the burning feeling in your chest did not go away. “I saw the girl one time! It’s not like we were married!” He hissed again, watching his volume this time, but you just smiled like you usually did, and he had to fight really hard to not look at your face.

“Sorry.” You giggled again, and he was going to tell you to quit apologizing, but he stopped himself, getting his pounding heart under control before speaking again.

“You could make it a part of your story, if you wanted to.” He mumbled, still looking away, watching as the sunrise layered the sky with various blues and pinks and shades of orange, as bright and welcoming as a girl he once sort of knew, and a girl he knows now.

You saw yourself in that parade, sitting in an expensive open-roofed car with your family. You could nearly feel the heat scorching your skin, the pain of the sun blinding you. The crowd whooped and hollered as you passed, waving flags and tossing flowers, you could feel the press of your mother against your side, her fingers brushing your slightly frizzy hair. It felt real.

“A parade…” You muttered to yourself, catching Killua’s attention, he glanced at you, listening. “There weren’t any clouds in the sky, and it was burning hot. Everyone cheered for us, they lined the streets in rows.” You almost found yourself choking up talking about it, your stomach aching as you saw them all around you.

“It was a crowd of thousands,” You continued, “And I’d never seen so many people in my life.” Somehow, finding the princess in your mind seemed easier, and you were relieved, her voice itching at you as you retold her story. “This boy caught my eye in the crowd, he was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. He was… thin and kind of scary.” You chuckled to yourself at Killua’s expression, silently offended but not saying anything still.

“He started running, pushing through the crowd and calling out my name. He even made it through the guards, and I tried not to smile, I knew I shouldn’t, but I smiled.” In the heat of the moment, the scene of a mini Killua reaching for you, you saw something else. You knew it wasn’t part of his story but you couldn’t deny it, it was there, in your mind, and it just felt so right, like it belonged there. Like it was real.

“And then…he bowed.” You muttered, curious eyes reaching Killua as he turned to you, eyes widened, bewildered.

“I didn’t tell you that!” He sounded astounded, almost offended, like you reached into his mind and stole a part of the story as he sat up. You were just as surprised as him, the image much clearer in your mind, the feeling of a mothers fingers in your hair, the sound of the parade, the heat of the sun, the smile invading your face. It all felt real…because it was. It was your story. But how in the world was that possible?

“You didn’t have to… I- I remember?” The statement was almost a question, mostly because you had no idea how you would have a memory of a royal parade you never attended.

“How? Oh my god…” Your eyes were wide and puzzled, trying to piece together the memories flooding your mind, playing in a garden you’ve never been to, awing at sights you’ve never seen, smiling at boys you wouldn’t meet for another six years.

You thought of your dreams, the bloodshed and carnage in the tranquility of a silent winter night, a ballroom dimmed in it’s emptiness. You remember running, and then you remember nothing at all, not until you were that new girl, the cold and hungry one taken in by the most empathetic of hearts.

You weren’t. You couldn’t be, right?

Killua looked at you, his eyes the same as your own, he was almost studying you, sifting through the glimmer in your eyes and the way your hair laid. He didn’t believe this, did he? You hoped he didn’t because even though you wanted to be, you were not that princess he has remembered for all these years, you couldn’t be!

But it was all there, stored in your head. Your mind has never lied to you before, so how could it now. The thumping of your heart was uninvited, and so was the excess sweat coating your palms as you tried to work through this. You didn’t notice the clock striking seven until the train came to an abrupt stop in the station.

You heard people getting out of their seats, and your friends stirred. You looked at Killua for any sort of answer, as if he could give you one you didn’t already know. As you gazed, you noticed his eyes were softened, he was sure of himself, an expression of pure confidence on his face.

“I guess it’s time, your Highness.” He stood, kicking Gon’s shin lightly before walking out of the train car, telling him he needed to stretch his legs. As Gon woke the others, you stood up, a swirling feeling in your stomach that couldn’t be ignored. Could you be her? Are you her? Killua certainly seems to think so.

In your own little world, you missed Killua’s eyes on you, trained on you mannerisms. On his face was what could possibly be called a smile, although there was only a hint of it. He had sworn to himself, all those years ago, that even in a crowd of thousands, he would find you again. Well, that crowd of thousands then spanned to crowd of millions, but you were here. He found you.

#hxh killua #killua zoldyck #hxh #i’m actually really obsessed with this help me!!#anastasia #hunter x hunter #gon freecss #kurapika #leorio paladiknight #hxh x reader #killua zoldyck x reader

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