strippeddeckjoker - Tumblr blog

[strippeddeckjoker]

"Lo! For I have found a lightner painting, a precious relic of the world upon which we are often fainting!"

"Reminds me, of my beloved, into their face it must be shoved!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

"You know this gets extremely dull, being rotated bores me out of my skull, skull!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

I am going to CHEESE you

Jevil looks incredibly excited and ready for cheesing.

[strippeddeckjoker]

*the cupcakes are given to the viroviroclowns instead*

The Viroviroclowns proceed to go absolutely apeshit over the cupcakes.

[strippeddeckjoker]

Deep in the Scarlet Forest, not too far from a keep where the four kings meet, stands a strange little store made of old quilted fabric, with frayed threads and small holes worn in its patches. The interior is dimly lit by lanterns and cluttered with all manner of things, old and forgotten, left to collect dust on shelves or abandoned in basements and attics.

The shopkeeper themself is not much different, a gnarled old plush cat wearily letting out a raspy sound somewhere between a groan and a trill as they awaken, having fallen asleep at the counter. A faded purple and orange ear flicks towards a sudden whistling heard from far in the back, and slowly but surely, they rise. Their poor face, now with only one dark cloudy eye, and the other being an almost comically oversized button, has a weary expression as they hobble onto their feet. The old cat's tail, tattered and worn, drags behind them as they limp into the back.

Nestled behind the shelves and displays sits a little kitchen, with an old iron stove and a table covered in a lacy cloth and covered with mismatched teacups and plates. The cat digs out one of several teapots, and gets to work. The whistling of the kettle quiets as it's plucked from the top of the stove, and the soft clutter of glass bottles is heard in its place. An array of various herbs, teas, spices and dried flowers are layed out.

The cat carefully inspects each, holding the labels up close to their face in order to get a good look at them. Once they've found the right ingredient, the container is opened, and the cat gets to adding pawfuls of it to the teapot. One, two, three scoops of black tea, a dash or two of poppy seeds, chamomile flowers and a little pick-me-up of catnip added for good measure. Once finished, the jars of tea go back into the cabinet and the hot water goes into teapot.

They'll have to make two trips, and- ah curse their old leg, they'd left their cane back at the storefront. Cupping the teapot in their fluffy paws, they lean in and whisper something, like hundreds of voices speaking at once to the teapot. A few moments pass, until small bright sparks and stars begin to dance around it, and it seems to almost merrily hover away back to the countertop, coming to rest on an ancient, tea stained doily. The cat takes a few small sniffs towards the teacups, and picks one already resting on a plate. With that in tow, they limp back to the storefront.

They ease themself back into an old armchair at the counter, and after taking a moment's rest, pour a cup of tea. A flick of one of their ears, and the front door to the store unlocks in an instant, the latches clicking open loudly, and a little hand embroidered sign flips around from "CLOSED" to "OPEN". And of course, the cane that'd been forgotten by the door hops over to the side of the armchair. The old cat settles in to the armchair, and blowing away a bit of steam, take a sip of tea.

"Ah, another day... Or night perhaps. I suppose it doesn't matter. But always best to pass the time somehow"

The 'Seap' is open for Business

[strippeddeckjoker]

thanks a lot obama

The Jester springs up and down, rubbing his mittened claws together.

"Atonal Baths Amok!"

This is getting easier for him.

"Alack, you believe I was horrorstruck? I am not so easily stuck, stuck!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

[[ I enjoy how the 'check out these blogs' feature on Tumblr barely works...you X Out blogs you aren't interested in and they just keep coming back...Like zombies.]]

[strippeddeckjoker]

Who initiated the divorce? Spamton or Jevil?

"I think you may be confused, to Spamton I've NEVER been enthused."

"Married I've been for hundreds of years, I love a darkner with very cute ears. Uee hee hee!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

*offers some darkener candy to Jevil.*

Jevil mlems it right out of your hand, his tongue leaving a sticky, slimy blackish trail in its wake.

[strippeddeckjoker]

would jevil support illegal but caring possum ownership

"Oh dear anon, you have much to learn! If it is an opossum for which you yearn...Take it!"

"Laws only stop the honest folk, don't let the government put you under its yoke, yoke! Uee hee hee!"

"Dodge your taxes, shirk your work, eat some babies, or burn down a church. Don't let that MAN leave you in the lurch."

[strippeddeckjoker]

hot girls shamble haggardly

Jevil stops for a moment, considering the anon's input. He rocks back onto his tail and lets the spring of his neck wobble precariously, toying with allowing his head to fall off. He is clearly in deep thought, fangs worrying his lips.

Suddenly, a grin splits his features again.

"A Ballad Therms Grogs Highly!"

"Anagram to match you, ma'am!"

Clearly, he would like another!

[strippeddeckjoker]

Deep in the Scarlet Forest, not too far from a keep where the four kings meet, stands a strange little store made of old quilted fabric, with frayed threads and small holes worn in its patches. The interior is dimly lit by lanterns and cluttered with all manner of things, old and forgotten, left to collect dust on shelves or abandoned in basements and attics.

The shopkeeper themself is not much different, a gnarled old plush cat wearily letting out a raspy sound somewhere between a groan and a trill as they awaken, having fallen asleep at the counter. A faded purple and orange ear flicks towards a sudden whistling heard from far in the back, and slowly but surely, they rise. Their poor face, now with only one dark cloudy eye, and the other being an almost comically oversized button, has a weary expression as they hobble onto their feet. The old cat's tail, tattered and worn, drags behind them as they limp into the back.

Nestled behind the shelves and displays sits a little kitchen, with an old iron stove and a table covered in a lacy cloth and covered with mismatched teacups and plates. The cat digs out one of several teapots, and gets to work. The whistling of the kettle quiets as it's plucked from the top of the stove, and the soft clutter of glass bottles is heard in its place. An array of various herbs, teas, spices and dried flowers are layed out.

The cat carefully inspects each, holding the labels up close to their face in order to get a good look at them. Once they've found the right ingredient, the container is opened, and the cat gets to adding pawfuls of it to the teapot. One, two, three scoops of black tea, a dash or two of poppy seeds, chamomile flowers and a little pick-me-up of catnip added for good measure. Once finished, the jars of tea go back into the cabinet and the hot water goes into teapot.

They'll have to make two trips, and- ah curse their old leg, they'd left their cane back at the storefront. Cupping the teapot in their fluffy paws, they lean in and whisper something, like hundreds of voices speaking at once to the teapot. A few moments pass, until small bright sparks and stars begin to dance around it, and it seems to almost merrily hover away back to the countertop, coming to rest on an ancient, tea stained doily. The cat takes a few small sniffs towards the teacups, and picks one already resting on a plate. With that in tow, they limp back to the storefront.

They ease themself back into an old armchair at the counter, and after taking a moment's rest, pour a cup of tea. A flick of one of their ears, and the front door to the store unlocks in an instant, the latches clicking open loudly, and a little hand embroidered sign flips around from "CLOSED" to "OPEN". And of course, the cane that'd been forgotten by the door hops over to the side of the armchair. The old cat settles in to the armchair, and blowing away a bit of steam, take a sip of tea.

"Ah, another day... Or night perhaps. I suppose it doesn't matter. But always best to pass the time somehow"

The 'Seap' is open for Business

[strippeddeckjoker]

"I am here for TWO things. Tennis and being a Menace, menace. Uee hee hee!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

jevil word of the day: attempted regicide

"Attempted you say? Oho! I slay what I set out to slay, slay!"

"Ran the gamut, to cut, and crush, without dear Seam I'd've had a royal flush! Uee hee hee!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

"Who keeps throwing these lightner souls, down into these dreary holes, holes?"

"Well t'is fine, they're all for me and, thus there will be none for he!"

[strippeddeckjoker]

jemil revive?????

Somewhere, a heavenly choir plays on kazoo, calliope, and recorder...

[JEVIL COMES BACK TO LIFE!!!]

"A nap for a hundred years or more interrupted only 'cause my back is sore, sore!"

"Woken me up, I'm sure you know, there's only one way this will go! Uee hee hee!"

"An enemy of the state you've saved, now in your head, I'll surely cave, cave!"

[strippeddeckjoker]