strawberryking

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Drew my and @nyxfaei 's ttrpg characters :3

[strawberryking]

my kings helping to keep the threat away

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Republican flex:

I could name hundreds of Republicans who have affairs, have assaulted women, or sex traffic with underage girls, but I won't.

[strawberryking]

the elephant came running to me and said "please, you must help, my twin brother has been attacked by a witch!"

I followed and he took me to the witch, who was cackling, with her back to a wall covered in weapons. "fools!" she said, "I have turned your brother into a battleaxe! you must determine which one is him, or he shall be lost forever!"

we looked at the wall and saw a multitude of axes stuck into it, at varying levels, shapes, and sizes. there was no way to pick out any particular one as being more or less elephantine.

the elephant at my side was ready to despair. "oh, we shall never find my brother," he cried, "he's the only family I have left, for my parents are dead and we have no other siblings"

"wait," I said, "that's it! I've got it -- lift me up with your trunk -- I know which one is him"

the elephant lifted me up, and with care, I pulled from the wall the battleaxe sticking at the very tallest point, above any other axes. when I did so, the axe fell to the ground, and, immediately, transformed back into the elephant's twin brother.

"it's amazing!" the elephant said to me, "how did you know it was him?"

"it's as you said," I gave a big ol' thumbs up, "he's your only family left. and everyone knows that the closest living relative of the elephant is the higher axe"

[strawberryking]

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

[strawberryking]

just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

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people will just use polynesian words completely incorrectly with completely made up meanings while being really offensive and won't even care huh lol

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In the interest of full disclosure, i really must ask. The spell created by the mage collective of Tumbldown Towers

POWER PHRASE: KUNG POW PENIS

what destructive class is that spell? i saw what it did to the barbarians of crypto creek. is it a class 5 destruction spell or is it worse? IS there worse?

i mean, crypto creek is more crypto crater now because of it.

The status of this spell is:

RESTRICTED USE

In order to use this spell you must assemble a jury of 12 Wizards, each who cast a single letter in judgement. Upon all letters being cast a Wizard Judge may then end the spell in the the explosion spell of their choice, amplified 13 fold.

This ancient ritual of wizard justice is classed at the 9th level and should not be attempted lightly.

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sorry. what the fuck was that?

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