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“Upwards to the Moon” Guqin song by 自得琴社 Zi De Guqin Studio

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gol

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bat

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.

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Same outfit, different weight

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My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

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Lazy...

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you ever look at certain american christmas movies and wonder how, seemingly, not a single person during the whole production bothered to look up what a reindeer is? like is there a single piece of animated rudolph the red-nosed reindeer media where rudolph is depicted as a reindeer and not a white-tailed deer?

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2017: dumb bitch

2018: sad bitch

2019: bad bitch

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no offense but my obsession w being beautiful is literally going to get me killed

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yeah, if i could just cancel my subscription to my appetite? it’s pretty expensive and i’m not really enjoying the content

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After I eat literally anything

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Goals goals goals

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straight people will never understand how therapeutic it is to hear the words “her girlfriend” or “his boyfriend” or how I ascend to heaven when I hear “her wife” and “his husband”