strangerthan1

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

“Moooom! …can you get my toy for me?” (via qoolove520)

[strangerthan1]

the trolley problem vs. systemic oppression: a comic.

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

Guy wearing a distressed jean jacket with a Kermit the frog patch walks up to the library’s facade, he turns around with a smile and says “the punkest thing you can do is return your library books on time” with a wink, tosses his copy of The Peanut Allergy Epidemic into the return box, a gnarled hand shoots out of the book slot and grabs his wrist, he screams, the twisted, knobby fingers tighten their grip and begin to pull, pull, pull, the guy’s body is contorted as he is forced into the tiny gap through sheer force, blood shoots out, so much blood, hitting terrified passersby as they leave and enter the front doors, a woman tucks away her checkouts into her cardigan to keep them from getting ruined, blood keeps spraying, finally his last foot goes through, his doc marten popping off and falling onto the concrete, bouncing slightly .

[strangerthan1]

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[strangerthan1]

i love student housing. i’m in the common room waiting for a friend and there’s some dude crying on the couch w a bunch of his friends around him and i can only hear bits and pieces but someone asked him “who gets the minecraft server if you guys break up?” and he started crying harder and a 3rd person reached over to smack the guy who asked it on the back of the head

[strangerthan1]

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

[strangerthan1]

[strangerthan1]

The three-ring binder is the apex of book technology, by the way. All the advantages of a codex, plus you can add, remove, and reorder pages at will - pages which you can furthermore protect from damage in transparent sleeves, and store commentaries, notes, and other paratextual addenda behind them without obscuring the primary content. Truly the queen of codices. Reblog if you love the three-ring binder.

[strangerthan1]

people laugh at me for always asking a baby's permission before picking them up but let me tell you when my nephew was seven months old I picked him up off the floor without checking first and he was absolutely outraged and reproached me with terrible wails. just because a person is very small doesn't mean it's not scary and upsetting to be scooped up out of nowhere by a much larger person. quite the contrary. obviously if a baby is in danger or the situation is otherwise pressing you can temporarily suspend the rules of polite behavior and just grab them up, much like you are allowed to violently shove a grownup if a speeding car is bearing down on them. but that doesn't mean you just go around shoving people as a matter of routine. show some consideration to our latest arrivals on this horrible planet. they are better at communicating than you think