stoicgambino
THE STOIC PRINCESS
fransisca.
howard university class of 2018.
future dentist in the making.
3231 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
Text
Growth
After graduating from college, I know what growth looks like and I have seen it within myself- exponentially, specifically within the last 6 months. Growth has presented itself in ways that never manifested in me; besides the obvious human growth. I had never seen growth until after my first semester of college. Coming home that first semester put my whole life into perspective. Following the winter of 2014, I experienced growth again in several seasons of my life (summer 2016, summer 2017, spring 2018, and now). And each time it reminded me who I was, who I was becoming, and where I was going.
I was a naive Haitian-American girl who lacked confidence in her academic abilities. In high school after reading The Scarlet Letter we did an activity in my English class where my peers would assign each person a letter and why they deserved this letter. Unfortunately, I received the letter “I”. I for insecure. Insecure not because of my confidence in my looks but insecure about my own opinions as if fear crippled my voice to speak freely. It hurt my feelings but I took that perspective and worked on changing it. It has always been interesting to me that I define myself by academic abilities, after all I have been a student for a large majority of my life. This may have been the biggest “crutch” on my journey of growth. And even today I still struggle with being naive, but I work actively to not be. My choice to further my education has made me contemplate my academic abilities. Thoughts like “maybe I should change my career path”, “my GPA is average”, “my extracurriculars are not unique”, “I’ve re-taken one too many courses”, and the throat cutter “I’m not going to get in” have always hindered my self confidence in my academics. Even after all the work I put in to receiving a Bachelors of Science in Nutritional Sciences I constantly fight the thoughts of self doubt. Reassurance from the Bible, my family, and my mentors have helped push me past those thoughts. I WILL GET IN.
I now consider myself a young and beautiful Haitian-American who is educated and ready to take on the world. I’ve always wondered why I’ve had to endure certain circumstances but they were all part of my growth. Without these experiences of through thick and thin, I wouldn’t be in a position to press forward. I would be weak, and not able to withstand the pressures of adulthood. Puberty may have started early but it wasn’t until my 20th birthday that I really began to feel beautiful. It wasn’t until then that I understood that my blackness is enough. It’s sad really, but I love how society now (especially the Black Diaspora community) has come together and embraced everything about the black experience.
I can’t forget to mention love. Or should I call it lust? A mix of both really. My love life has evolved my maturity. Letting go. Being broken. Opening up and being vulnerable to new people. Having fun. It supposedly comes with the college experience. It was great and then some *side eyes*.
Adulting has been the independent factor responsible for my exponential growth since May 12, 2018 lol. It has literally forced me to face reality, a reality that I have created and only God can change. I guess I’m saying all of this to say, I’m growing out of Fransisca the student and into Fransisca the individual. I will always be a student of life but I’m learning not to let what I know but rather what I want to know define me as a person. Actually I don’t want to be defined. I just want to be.
Fin.
Until next time(;
#growth#adulting#postgradlife#howard university#learning#student#journey#insecure#love#black experience#dating#young adult
1 note
·
View note
Quote
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn…
Maya Angelou (via tanya-nicole)
103 notes
·
View notes
Quote
The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn…
Maya Angelou (via tanya-nicole)
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
Your are a garden. It’s all up to you.
Darling, there is one thing you need to understand. You, your mind and your body combined, are a garden.
First. A certain amount of possibilities and preconditions is given you by birth. This is the ground that was given you. It can be sandy and full of stones, but this doesn’t need to stop you from planting a field of flowers. Because you were given the ability to imagine. The ability to change the ground you are standing on. With persistence and patience you can turn a desert into a jungle.
Second. Your thoughts are the seeds. What you think becomes what you say and becomes what you do. Every change, for good or for bad, relies on the thoughts that you focus on. Nothing good will grow from envy or hatred, just like a rose will never grow from nettle seeds. What you choose to sew, choose to think, determines what you harvest.
Third. Your actions are the water. Nothing proceeds from doing nothing. All seeds, as well intentioned as they may be, are wasted if you don’t water them. Get up on your feet. Change this world for good.
Fourth. There is a season to sew. There is a season to harvest. There is a season to recover. Take your time. Changes don’t happen over night. Be patient with your garden. You will achieve everything that you aim for when the time comes.
There will always be people who try to send droughts over your ground. Don’t let them take away your dreams. This your garden, and yours alone.
130 notes
·
View notes
