starstruck382

[starstruck382]

In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:

Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice

Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-

Bucky: *turns around and leaves*

-

Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?

Peter: Oh my god do I ever

Tony & Steve: NO.

-

Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals

Natasha, staring blankly:

Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?

Natasha:

Peter: Spinneret associates?

Natasha: Leave.

Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am

-

During a meal:

Bucky: *glaring at Sam*

Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog

Steve: Bucky, leave it

Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*

-

Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?

Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here

Bruce: I have... so many degrees

Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?

Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?

Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.

-

Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly

Wanda: Okay thanks dad

Steve:

Wanda:

Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad

Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time

Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues

-

Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth

Steve:

Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak

Steve:

Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite

Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind

-

Natasha: Hey bird brain!

Clint and Sam both turn:

Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head

Clint and Sam: *start arguing*

Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult

Steve: She has that effect on people

Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(

-

Peter: Hey old man

Bucky:

Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME

Sam: *cackling in the background*

Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*

Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!

Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks

-

Bucky: I need your... help

Tony: Sure, what's up?

Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*

Bucky: Arm.

Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?

Bucky:

Tony: Say please

Bucky: Nope can't do it-

Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?

*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*

Bucky: Please fix my arm

Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy

-

Read Part 2 and Part 3

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Incorrect quote

Bucky: Y/n! I can't do this stupid math!

Y/n: What's the math problem?

Bucky: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.

Sam, covering Steve's ears, while Y/n smacks Bucky upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.

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Sam *teaching Y/N to drive, taking Bucky along for the ride*:

Sam: That’s a pothole. To the left!

Y/N *driving into pothole*: Take it back now, y’all.

Bucky *sticking his face into the front over the centre console*: Cha Cha real smooth.

Y/N: I don’t think that’s how the song goes…

Sam *crying*: Please, just take me home.

Y/N: Country roads.

Bucky: To the place.

Y/N and Bucky in unison: I belong!

Sam *crying harder*: What the fuck?

Masterlist

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y/n: guess what I’m about to get✨✨

Bucky: on my fucking nerves?

y/n:

y/n: probably, but that’s not the point—

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Sam, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket sir? Hahaha. Bucky: Do you think other people can't hear you?

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https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAgoYi1C6PH/?igsh=MXJ6Mzk1NXhvdnkxaA==

Steve:Im telling you Art is my therapy

Bucky:mhn i see

Later

Steve*Scratches*YOU F---ING PEICE OF SH

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Y/N: So, you knew Shakespeare, right?

Bucky: I’m 107…

Y/N: …

Bucky: …

Y/N: …

Bucky: Sure, swell guy.

Masterlist

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Bucky, calling out from the storeroom: Honey?

You, answering from the kitchen: What?

Bucky: Where's my tact suit?

You: You're what?

Bucky: My tact suit! Where is it?

You: I, uh, put it away!

Bucky: Where?

You: Why do you need to know?

Bucky: I need it!

You: Nuh uh, don't you think about leaving. We've been planning this dinner for months!

Tony: The public is in danger!

You: My evening is in danger!

Tony: You tell me where his suit is, woman!

Bucky: We are talking about the greater good of New York!

You: Greater good? I am your wife! I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!

Sam: The queen has spoken; looks like you're going to dinner

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Bucky, walking into the kitchen at 3am: what the fuck are you doing awake right now

Y/N, eating a sandwich: turn the lights back off

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Steve: think you can mansplain, manipulate, malewife your way out of this one?

Bucky: Manslaughter it is

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Bucky & Sam, on Friendship

Bucky: Would you punch your best friend for a million dollars?

Sam: I'd roundhouse kick you in the face for free.

Bucky, holding back tears: I'm your best friend?

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Bucky: Why are you staring at me?

Sam: I’m just trying to figure out how someone with a metal arm can still struggle to open a pickle jar.

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Bucky, on a mission: *literally murdering someone*

Y/N: aw:)

Bucky: *taking gun from the dead body shooting three other people*

Y/N: <333

Bucky, breaking someone’s head through a wall:

Y/N: you go bb, I love and support you❤️❤️❤️

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Bucky: Sam just made me pull over in the middle of nowhere to help a hedgehog across the street

Bucky: It was a pine cone

Bucky: I'm so mad

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Y/N: Good morning, Bucky! You look beautiful today.

Bucky: Good morning-

Y/N: HAHA APRIL FOOLS!

Bucky: Oh.

Y/N: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL EVERYDAY!

Bucky, softly: oh.

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in the Avengers compound communal showers

Bucky: Everybody, bathroom now!

Clint: What, Bucky?

Bucky: Is somebody playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp?

Clint: 'Cause it's not your towel. It's my towel, Bucky.

Bucky: No, it's not your towel. Your towel's the red one.

Clint: I'll tell you this, pal: I've never used that. [points to red towel] I do use that one every single day. [points to blue towel]

Bucky: Oh, God...

Peter: [holding the blue towel] This towel's so warm and fluffy. It's like it's been in the sun forever.

Tony: [laughing] This means you two have been drying your junk with the same towel.

Natasha: Intimate.

Bucky: Are you out of your mind?!

Clint: What do you mean, am I...

Bucky: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?

Clint: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?

Natasha: You never wash...?

Clint: You wash your towel?

Bucky: You never wash the towel?!

Clint: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?