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reverse fake dating: very in love couple has to pretend theyre not actually together

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Chosen One || Fallen Angel

Detail shots:

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The devil is a twink named luke

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Something something a story in four parts

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The Knight of the Laughing Tree by Joshua Cairós

created for the 10th anniversary of The World of Ice & Fire

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Lyanna Stark

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'anakin faces consequences' I'm pretty sure anakin faces consequences in canon

you may have missed it, but anakin loses everything that ever mattered to him when he fell to the dark side

it's a small part of the plot

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people be like: anakin overreacted to the rako hardeen arc!

I'm like: I think he underreacted

this is in obi-wan's top three cruellest moments towards anakin

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Rhaegar and Jon commsssiiionnn :3

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'obi-wan is such a poor little tragic meow meow'

me, vibrating: obi-wan dug his own grave and he KNOWS it, stop erasing obi-wan's explicit narrative role in creating darth vader. he knows he fucked up when raising anakin, he did fuck up when raising anakin, he DID fail anakin. it's a pretty explicit part of the PT and OT.

them: obi-wan never did anything wrong and anakin, the child, was simply too difficult for obi-wan, the grown ass adult. everything is anakin's fault and obi-wan suffers the most out of every star wars character

me: *throws up my hands in the air* look at what you did to the perfectly flawed complex failed mentor figure. you woobified him into a 2D cariacature, look OSP agrees with me: 'great character, not so great mentor'

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my form of self harm is falling in love with complex characters who are deeply misunderstood by their fandoms

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Melisandre is one of my favorite minor POVs mostly because of how GRRM plays with the all-powerful mage trope. See the deconstruction with her is that despite her antics, she’s actually very powerful and all her visions are legit. It’s just that she absolutely sucks at interpreting said visions, mostly because she has all these preconceived notions and is very stubborn about them. And even when the answer is staring right at her (literally), she just doubles down. And it can be very frustrating as a reader, to be quite honest.

Like she’s been super gung ho about Stannis Baratheon being Azor Ahai/the Prince that Was Promised, though only R’hllor know why, to the extent that she will flat-out ignore any evidence to the contrary. Her visions in ADWD essentially scream that Azor Ahai is someone different (not Stannis!) but good ol’ Mel just won’t budge.

There’s this very hilarious interaction in Jon’s 10th ADWD chapter that essentially spells out all of her problems with visions and prophecy, with Jon serving as the reader’s proxy in some ways.

This interaction happens during Alys Karstark’s wedding feast and Patchface drops some of his weird jingles, which Mel very unsettled by. So she’s turns to Jon and is like, “ugh that dude is so creepy, all my visions tell me so”. And Jon’s reaction to this is super funny, because he’s like:

“You see fools in your fire, but no hint of Stannis?”

Wow Jon lmao

He just had to call her out like that, unprovoked. But his frustration makes sense. He’s constantly been asking about Stannis’ whereabouts but Mel’s responses just aren’t very satisfactory (in his opinion).

Then we get this next line which really just says everything about Mel’s stubbornness and perfectly embodies the deconstruction of the all-powerful seer trope.

“When I search for him all I see is snow.”

So Mel looks for Stannis, whom she believes to be Azor Ahai, in her fires but doesn’t find him. Instead she sees “snow”. And this part tracks with her POV too. We know from her chapter that she constantly sees Jon in her visions. It’s how we get the very interesting “I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R’hllor shows me only Snow” line.

So one would think that Mel might go: “Hmmm I look for the prophesied savior, but I don’t see Stannis. Instead, I only see Snow. I don’t doubt R’hllor’s power so if my visions are true, then maybe I need to rethink a few things”.

One would think…

But nope!

And Jon’s like “Hey maybe you’re not seeing Stannis because he’s super dead, ever think about that Mel?” And she proceeds to spout the usual Azor Ahai stuff and even mentions Dragonstone:

“When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. Dragonstone is the place of smoke and salt.”

To which Jon’s replies, “uhhhh news flash Stannis was not born on Dragonstone so that doesn’t track”.

Obviously this is Jon’s skepticism but I like to think that he took the reader’s place here. Because many of us have asked ourselves, why oh why would Mel think of Stannis just because she saw Dragonstone? Like yeah, he’s the Lord of Dragonstone but he wasn’t born there. It’s quite a valid question and how does Mel counter it? She doubles down and twist herself into a pretzel to make Stannis fit (even though he doesn’t fit at all!)

Really, Jon’s reaction is essentially what would happen if someone dropped me into the world of ASOIAF and gave me the chance to meet Mel and ask her a few questions. I’d be quite frustrated, just as Jon is here. And to be fair, the reader has a lot of auxiliary information (e.g., Jon’s parentage) that Mel doesn’t have.

But then the next few lines really illustrate just why poor Mel can be so frustrating. Because Jon’s follow up is,

“And what of Mance? Is he lost as well? What do your fires show?”

And what does Mel say?

“The same, I fear. Only snow.”

…??!

Mel!😭

Seriously, I cannot! This is the exact same situation as with Stannis. She looks for a king but only sees Snow. This makes me wonder then, based on previous wording, if she’s specifically looking for “the King Beyond the Wall” (not just “Mance”) and only seeing Snow - at this point, Jon has all but supplanted Mance.

So once again, one would think that Mel would go: hmmmm I look for the King Beyond the Wall but I see Jon Snow and not Mance Rayder. Seeing that Mance’s power has been diminished and Jon Snow is now taking control of the wildlings, maybe I should re-evaluate a few things”.

Yeah, one would think…

Homegirl is trying her best, she really is. But sadly, her best can only get E for Effort.

And at this point the reader is just done with Mel, and Jon is too:

“You are seeing cinders dancing in the updraft.”

He doesn’t even bother to phase it as a question lmao. He just calls her out and doesn’t care.

And we’re in his POV so he’s thinking of the lower case “snow”. Also, why in the hell is Mel referring to Jon like this?

Anyway, this is why I think Jon serves as the reader’s proxy in this conversation because it’s like a thinking exercise (facilitated by the narrative) that ultimately goes nowhere because Mel is so, so stubborn.

Because if we really break it down:

R’hllor/the Narrative: Who do you see when you search for the king/Azor Ahai?

Mel: Jon Snow

R’hllor/the Narrative: Ok…and who do you see when you search for the King Beyond the Wall?

Mel: Erm, Jon Snow…

R’hllor/the Narrative/the Reader: Great! So say it with me. The king you’re looking for is J-

Mel: STANNIS BARATHEON!

R’hllor/the Reader: …?!

And before anyone claims that this is a misdirect, Mel really is seeing Jon Snow. Straight from the horse’s mouth:

“I am seeing skulls. And you. I see your face every time I look into the flames.”

Friend….I don’t even know what to say anymore…

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my fave asoiaf speculative crack fanon is ned suffering from ibs, hypertension, chronic anxiety, & cyclic vomiting syndrome over baby jon possibly showing targ features as he grows older, bcoz i know for sure ned was checking baby jon for white hair growth every 20 mins & telling everyone he was just checking for lice

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after the big reveal someone’s gonna say “you look just like your mother” and jon’s gonna bust out laughing

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Jon Snow essentially has 3 different reputations throughout Terros:

The first one is as a hardass. This reputation is well earned because Jon himself cultivates his own behaviour in such a way that he will be taken seriously. Due to his young age and his social status as a bastard, it became necessary for Jon to adjust his behaviour accordingly. Whether it’s the Mountain Clans or the Wildlings or the King’s Men, everyone at the Wall knows that Jon means business. Even across the sea, in the Free City of Braavos, they have such a view of him. He’s referred to as “the Black Bastard of the Wall”. His own friends are wary of him because of the way he starts acting once he’s elected Lord Commander.

The second reputation is quite unfair but he’s still viewed that way by some people: a traitor. Part of it does have to do with his time with the Wildlings/relationship with Ygritte. Though interestingly enough, the Wildlings also express sentiments that suggests they believe Jon betrayed them. But that’s not the only reason why characters consider Jon to be a treacherous individual. Even before he went beyond the Wall, he was viewed in a negative light, because of his father being declared a traitor. So the sins of the father are reflected in the son. There is of course the anti-bastardy stigma in Westeros as well and that too affects opinions on Jon. The Blackfish even accuses him of conspiring with the Lannisters, the enemies of his family!

The third reputation that Jon has came about completely unintentionally. People around Jon seem to view him as someone who sleeps around. This too is a clear result of their society’s derogatory opinion of bastards as being sexually promiscuous. When his Night Watch brothers insinuate that Sam or Satin are his lovers, they do it as an insult. Jon’s show of kindness towards his fellows who are also viewed negatively is turned against him by people believing there is some salacious intent behind Jon’s actions. Jon had only one lover and that was Ygritte. But his friendly interactions with other women, like Val or Alys, makes people (primarily other men who feel entitled to those women) suggest he must surely have fucked them. From Jon’s POV we can understand that in his interactions with Melisandre, he is very standoffish. But that’s not how it’s perceived by his Night Watch brothers. Jon himself acknowledges that they will whisper rumours about him.

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ned having nightmares about lyanna dying in a bed of her own blood and the first thing that happens when he wakes up is jon fucking snow screaming about “I AM THE YOUNG DRAGON” omg i know ned’s tummy hurt