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Beautiful! 💜💙

This Heart's Not My Possession (Jlaire Month 2025)

Jlaire Month 2025 Day 1: Enemies to Lovers, Day 10: Royalty/Regency and Day 19: War @starmoonlovers

The princess Claire Maria of Castle Nuñez and the half-troll warrior James “Jim” Lake Junior were of the young age of sixteen years when they first met on opposite sides of a battlefield. Jim had trained all his life with a sword to be a weapon for the Gumm-Gumms. He had been fighting side by side with them since he was ten. Claire had discovered talent for shadowmancy in recent years and with the aid of the kingdom’s mage, one Hisirdoux “Douxie” Casperan, and insisted on aiding in the battle once she had grown strong enough. She had never been in the thick of battle before. Jim fought because it was all he knew how to do. Claire fought because she loved her home, her friends, her family, and her world as it was–unravaged by the violent trolls.

Bular son of Gunmar led a siege on Castle Nuñez. Gumm-Gumm grunts milled about outside the castle, setting up ballistae and trebuchets and bringing ladders. The defenders manned catapults on the castle wall to intercept the Gumm-Gumm’s preparations. This went on for hours as the armies were mustered.

But the battle had to start eventually, and when it did, a young woman in purple-black armor deep as obsidian holding a short twisted ebony staff dark as midnight watched from the shadows. Claire Maria Nuñez was prepared to intervene in any way she believed necessary with her magic.

Varvatos Vex, Aja Tarron, and Draal led the charge, storming into the Gumm-Gumms. It was a dance of death and pain as they stabbed and slashed and parried and thrusted. The wails of the injured and dying were drowned out by the clamor of swordplay and the roars of enraged trolls.

The humans bled, staining the dirt crimson. The trolls crumbled, leaving layers of rocks and dust in their wakes. Flesh tore. Limbs were lost. Warriors on both sides were crippled. Everyone was weary of this decades-long war, but neither would give up; one side bent on dominion, the other on protecting what they loved.

Whenever Claire found an opening where she wouldn’t harm any of Castle Nuñez’s knights, she would open a shadow portal under the Gumm-Gumms and drop them straight into one of the dungeons they’d set aside for this very purpose. She’d just sent a trio of enemy warriors to a single dungeon that was likely too small for all of them and revealed another warrior behind them.

This warrior wasn’t like any Gumm-Gumm she’d ever seen. He was taller than most humans his age, but not nearly as tall as the other Gumm-Gumms. Underneath his dull armor he was not made of rock like a proper troll, but instead had flesh the color of lilacs in springtime. His muscles were defined, but he wasn’t broad or burly; rather, he was fairly slender. Tufts of dark hair spilled out of his helmet. His eyes were a cobalt blue she’d never before seen in any troll. Short tusks protruded over his lips. The blade of his greatsword was as sharp as a shark tooth. He was obviously about to attack, but he’d cleary been caught off guard by the three Gumm-Gumms falling through Claire’s portal.

His eyes darted from side to side as if searching for escape. He swung his sword at her. She created a shadow portal, but he leaped away from it and raced off. She would have pondered this strange encounter further, but the battle demanded all of her attention.

)( )( )(

The next afternoon, Lord Toby Domzalski ran up to her, panting. “Thought . . . I saw . . . something . . . carrying off Enrique!”

Claire straightened up, chin held high and regal determination in her expression. “Get me a gaggletack,” she ordered. Toby nodded and dashed off. She headed to Enrique’s quarters, but paused outside the door. If it was a changeling, she didn’t want to give away their suspicions if Toby entered with the gaggletack in full visibility, as he wasn’t always discreet.

She didn’t have to wait long before Toby appeared, Knight Darci by his side. Toby waved at her. “We got it!”

Darci handed her the gaggletack, giving her a solemn look. “I hope you’re wrong about this,” she said.

“Me too,” Claire replied. “You stay out here. I’ll handle this.”

Both of them looked like they wanted to protest, but as they were a knight and a son of a duke and she was the crown princess, her orders outranked them. Even if they didn’t, she was still a strong-willed person and could convince them anyway.

Claire stuck the gaggletack in the pocket of her gown. She’d had this one specially commissioned from the royal tailor. It was lavender with silver trim and two deep pockets hidden in the folds. She pushed the door open and walked to Enrique’s crib. He was taking a nap as he should be at this time of day, looking so peaceful she hated to disturb him. But she had to know if what Toby saw was true. Picking him up, she took a moment to stroke his blond hair before silently and swiftly pulling out the gaggletack and pressing it to his foot.

Enrique’s eyes shot open. He trembled. He leaped from her arms and what landed was not Enrique, but a small green creature with large eyes and sharp teeth. “Oi! What’s the big deal?”

“You’re not Enrique,” Claire accused, her heart breaking. Her brother had been stolen from her. “Give him back!”

“Sorry, Princess. That’s not my call.”

She reached for the changeling. He scrambled away. “Get back here, you . . . you . . . Not-Enrique!”

“No thanks!”

“I’m going to tell everyone! You’ll be thrown in the dungeons forever!” She chased the Thing-That-Was-Not-Her-Brother around the room.

“Hey, hey, no need to do that! No one likes a tattletale!”

“Oh yeah? And why shouldn’t I?”

“ ‘Cause I don’t wanna be boiled in oil!” The changeling leaped out of her grasp yet again.

Claire put her hands on her hips. “What.”

The changeling clung to the wall, digging his claws in. “You ‘eard me! Y’know what they do to changelings? They tie heavy rocks to their legs an’ throw us into the sea! They knife ‘em soon as we ain’t lookin’! They drop wagons on us to crush us an’ pretend it’s an accident! They roast us on a spit like we’re chicken! I can tell ya, I’m no chicken! I’m too stringy and wouldn’t even taste good! None of us would, ya cannibals!”

She stared at him a moment, her jaw opening and closing. She snorted. “Okay, I’m pretty sure no one’s going to eat you.”

“Gunmar’s soldiers will if I come back empty-handed,” he retorted. “ ‘Sides, what about all the other ways we’re killed?”

Okay. Okay. So a changeling has replaced my brother and I could tell everyone, but he’s terrified that we’re going to kill him. He was blustery, but she could see the fear in the way his ears flattened, in his narrowed eyes. He is an enemy spy, so it’s not far-fetched that we would. But he’s also scared of his own people actually eating him. And Gumm-Gumms do eat people, so that’s not far-fetched either. She sighed. “I have a proposal for you.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?” He was still on the defensive.

“Instead of being a spy for Gunmar, you feed him false information. Be a double agent for us.”

“He’ll kill me! And if he doesn’t, you and yours will! Changelings ain’t welcome here!”

“Let me finish! We’ll tell only a select few people so that Gunmar doesn’t realize you’re not working for him anymore. My parents should know, obviously, and the two who helped me get the gaggletack as well.”

“How does any o’this help me?”

“I’ll…” She gritted her teeth. “I’ll vouch for you.”

The changeling was stunned speechless. Eventually, he asked, “Why?”

She put her head in her hands. Am I really doing this? Yes. Yes, she was. “Because you deserve to be with people who won’t eat you. And while it may take a bit for us to really warm up to you, we’re not going to do that. Don’t get me wrong, I hate that you replaced my brother and will do everything in my power to get him back… but… ugh. All the ways you said you might die got to me, I guess.”

He hopped off the wall. “Sounds like a better deal than I’ve got before.”

“Now we just have to explain it to Darci and Toby,” Claire remarked.

)( )( )(

NotEnrique, as he came to be known among the few who were aware of the changeling’s existence, ended up being an absolute gremlin of a fake sibling. Claire grew to love him as a real sibling over the next month anyway, despite the ache in her heart whenever she thought of her first brother.

One evening, they were out on a walk in the woods near the castle grounds. Claire had checked to make sure they were alone and NotEnrique switched to his changeling form. The last of the sunlight was burning away, twilight creeping in in its place.

“Y’know, I’m not the only changeling who’d probably love to get away from Gunmar,” NotEnrique remarked, bounding along in front of her.

“Yeah?” Claire replied.

“Uh-huh. I mean, he calls us impures! So do you–”

“I don’t.”

“I meant that as in ‘you people’ ‘you humans’ etcetera etcetera. Anyway, everyone calls us impures. We can never win no matter what side we’re on.” Bitterness tinged his voice. Claire reached down and patted him. He bared his teeth at her, but there was no real anger in it. “If all the humans were like you, I’m sure Strickler an’ Nomura woulda betrayed Gunmar ages ago. Maybe a few others, too, like Otto.”

Claire didn’t bother to point out that she had no idea who the changelings he spoke about were. They both knew she didn’t know. “You think we could convince them to join us?”

“Eh. Maybe. Oh, and the half-troll! He’d probably love to get away from all the bullies under Bular’s command.”

Half-troll? Claire wasn’t aware such a thing existed. “What’s a half-troll?”

“Exactly what it sounds like, sis. A troll and a human had a baby together.”

“And what, the human just let their kid be taken to Gunmar’s army? Or did the human work for him?” Not many humans worked for the Gumm-Gumms, but she was sure a few traitors had decided to take their chances.

“Neither. The human, his mother, died when he was young. She was her village’s main doctor. His father, the troll, he thought Gunmar was gonna win the war. So he went there and took his son, but he left his son with the changelings and never looked back. The half-troll hasn’t seen his father for years. There’s not much love lost there. He’s smaller than a full troll, so he was trained to be the Gumm-Gumm’s secret weapon, to hide behind others in the battle and sneak attack. Don’t think he much likes it, ‘specially since Bular’s grunts are always picking on him, but what’s he gonna do about it?”

“That’s terrible,” Claire said.

“S’just life under Gunmar.”

They returned to the castle soon, but as night fell, Claire found herself outside again. She meandered along, lost in thought. She’d spent many nights pondering the plight of the changelings, spies for a cause who cared nothing for them, but tonight her mind wandered to the half-troll NotEnrique told her about. She couldn’t imagine he experienced much of a childhood under Gunmar and Bular. And to have his mother die and his father abandon him? The whole story was a tragedy.

She wandered through the woods until she came to a cliff. A wall of rock blocked her view so she went around it to the edge of the cliff to get a better look. To her shock, a troll was tied up.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” Claire asked.

The troll growled at her. She realized she’d seen him before, during her first battle. He was the small lilac-colored one.

“What’s a Gumm-Gumm soldier doing here?”

The troll’s shoulders slumped, the aggression draining out of him. “So you recognize me as one of them. Just kill me now. It’ll be one less enemy for you to deal with.”

Claire grabbed her dagger and sawed at the ropes. “Not gonna kill you in cold blood,” she told him once the ropes fell, holding a hand out.

He didn’t take it. “I should kill you now.” Despite his words and blank tone, his body language was resigned. Like he wanted to do anything other than kill her, but had no choice.

“With what?” He had no visible weapons on him.

“I could strangle you. Kick your face in. Throw you off this cliff. Punch your nose so hard your brain comes out your ears.” He listed off the ways he could kill her in a monotone. His eyes were glossy–was he holding back tears?

“Thank you for those disturbing images,” she replied sarcastically. Then she added gently, “But I don’t think you want to hurt me.”

The troll dropped to his haunches. “I should. Y’know, that’s why they sent the changeling to you. Not only would he be near the royal family, but also near to the shadowmancer princess who causes so much trouble for us. They want to kill you.”

“Why don’t you?” She asked, kneeling next to him.

He glanced away. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

“I’m not about to tattle on you. Please. I shouldn’t be talking to you either.” She reached for his hand, knowing everyone around her would disapprove. But the troll seemed so sorrowful. As if he’d given up on hoping for something better.

Instinctively, he pulled his hand back. “They’ll kill me for letting you live. And for telling you that your brother’s a changeling. So I guess I might as well tell you…” He reached for her hand this time, grabbing onto both of them as if she was the only thing that could save him. But his grip was gentle as he told her, “I never wanted any of this. I wasn’t born a Gumm-Gumm.”

“You know, I thought that might be the case,” Claire said teasingly. “I wonder why?”

He laughed. “I have no idea why you would think that. Obviously I am ten feet tall and made of stone. But yeah, when my mom died, my dad decided we had a better chance of survival with Gunmar. Then he left me with Bular’s army and never looked back.” His voice was filled with bitterness and deep pain.

“Are you the half-troll NotEnrique told me about?” She blurted.

The troll–half-troll’s?–eyes widened. “I . . . maybe . . . but who’s Not–wait, you know he’s a changeling? And you haven’t . . . haven’t executed him?”

She knew it wasn’t uncommon for prisoners of war to be executed, but her heart broke all over again anyway. “No. And we wouldn’t execute you either. I’d fight for you.”

“Why?”

The longing and despair and pain and hope in that one word . . . Tears came to Claire’s eyes. “Because no one’s ever told you that you’re worth saving, but you are.”

“They won’t accept me.”

“As crown princess, my word has a lot of weight. The only ones who can overrule me are my parents, and I can get them to come around. You’ll see. Come home with me.” I’ll give you the home you never had, she didn’t say. I’ll give you a family who cares. People who won’t tie you up and leave you for dead. She hadn’t asked about that, but she was sure if anyone from Castle Nuñez had tied up a troll, they’d have heard about it. And with what NotEnrique had mentioned about bullies in Bular’s army . . .

“There are two changelings,” the troll said finally. “Can I bring them? They don’t much like Gunmar either.”

“What are their names?”

He hesitated.

“You have to trust me on this.”

“Fine. Strickler and Nomura.”

NotEnrique said their names when he’d talked about changelings who might defect. “Okay.” Her parents were going to kill her. But it would be worth it. Something occurred to her. “What’s your name? You know who I am–Claire–but I don’t know your name.”

“Jim. And I’ll be right back.” His eyes sparkled as he started to run off. Then he turned back and threw his arms around her. “Thank you.”

“I will fight for you,” she promised, but he was already gone.

You and everyone else wronged by Gunmar.

)( )( )(

Claire once again walked the castle grounds with NotEnrique, though today he was in the shape of her baby brother. It was early enough that his changeling form was too risky. She’d told him about her encounter with Jim last night. To her regret, he hadn’t returned before she had to go back to the castle so she wouldn’t be missed. NotEnrique, however, was very smug that he’d been right about who he suspected would be willing to defect.

Sleep eluded her all night. The weariness of the long night warred with the anticipation of whatever Jim was doing. He hadn’t left her mind since he’d run off. And she was pretty sure her lack of sleep having adverse affects and she was hallucinating Jim coming up from the woods with Enrique in his arms and two trolls behind him. One green with wings and one dark pink with dark hair.

“Oi! That’s Jim an’ Stricklander an’ Nomura!” NotEnrique cried out, turning into his changeling form.

“So I’m not hallucinating?”

“Nope!”

Claire sprinted to them, closing the distance in seconds. “You brought my brother back?”

Jim handed her Enrique. “I thought if we brought him back, we might be, uh, less likely to be executed.”

“I told you I wouldn’t let you be executed.” She gazed at the two trolls behind him. “Any of you. But thank you.” She kissed Jim.

He gaped at her. “Isn’t it a little soon for that?”

She smiled. “You brought my brother back.”

A grin broke out on his face. She decided then and there that she’d do just about anything for him to have that smile and she kissed him again. “Thank you.”

)( )( )(

NotEnrique couldn’t be a spy anymore, and many of the castle’s residents were hostile to the changelings and Jim. But she convinced her parents to spare them all, to let them have a chance at life they’d never had. Jim, at least, seemed to settle in fairly well. He and Toby became friends, and it quickly became known that Claire and Toby both would come to Jim’s defense. Claire’s relationship him was a bit of a scandal, but Jim was happy now. It was worth it. And whenever she had doubts, she’d tell him so.

“You are worth fighting for,” she declared. “And I will fight for you until my dying breath.”

And he’d tell her, “I’ll protect you as best I can so you don’t die.”

She would respond with, “Let’s be real, even if I died, I’d come back just for you. I’d come back for a hundred lifetimes.”

He would laugh. She’d embrace him.

“I’ll fight for you too,” he whispered. “I’d fight a hundred armies for you.”

She squeezed his arm. “Let’s hope you don’t have to.”

“Yeah. Toby would probably say that I’d get bored eventually.” He met her eyes. “But it’d be worth it.”

For you.

You are worth fighting for.

#jlaire month 2025 #jlairejuly2025 #jlaire #jim x claire #toa #tales of arcadia

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