staeryed

[staeryed]

being a spymaster, i should have seen something like this coming. . . except i hadn't. maybe i had already drank too much or maybe i hadn't realized . . i have no idea how it could have slipped past my senses but thank the mother for bryce quinlan, no matter how annoying she is.

the shifter behind the bar seems annoyed and they should be. i've only been in this city for two days and i already want to punch my fist through his head and go home. . . but i was sent here for a reason and i will complete whatever is asked of me.

when the drink is thrust near me, i take it with a solid grip and nod toward bryce, her red hair bright for a moment from the flashing lights behind her. " probably because i've been sitting here glaring all night. " i ground out, surely the look of annoyance is all over my face. i'm not trying to hide it. " and i also don't look like anyone else from this city. i'm sure someone is bound to have it out for me. " a smirk forms upon my features and i watch the half-fae with a curious gaze. " i'm sure you've been drugged before, have you not? '

Bryce did little to fight the dramatic roll of her amber colored eyes, a less than subtle smirk tugging at the edges of her full lips. "Uh, yah, die. Like-- " her manicured hand made to slice across her throat, sticking her tongue out for a dramatic effect, "Die. Dead." Well, maybe not dead, depending on what he was, but hey! she was being extra cautious.

Bryce imagined he would have scented it, heck she should have been able to scent it, and yet there hadn't been a hint of detectability from the substance poured in the drink. She had only known because she had the terrible habit of not being able to mind her own business and had caught a sly shifter behind the bar pouring in a drop of something extra. The half human- half fae hadn't immediately spoken up in attempts to give the bartender the benefit of the doubt, and to see if she could ascertain what was actually in the drink. Whatever it was, it didn't seem to take more than a sip before she had noted a change in the bar patron. Enough for her to stride her way over, steal his drink away with a fae-like quickness and pour it out on the other side.

Locks of long hair, similar to the color of the cabernet she cradled in one hand, spilled over her bare shoulder when she leaned in to attract the attention of the bartender. Her saccharine appearance conflicted with the edge that came with her words: "My friend here, needs a replacement drink. Y'know, one without the extra bullshit you put in there earlier." Her smile never faltered, though her eyes were sharp while she watched the shifter prepare the male beside her another drink. With a clipped 'Thank you', she turned her frame back to him, "Here you go!" she said loud enough to be heard over the music, any sharpness in her eyes had dissipated, now only melting into that of a curious gaze, complete with a tipping of her head. "Is there a reason why would someone want to drug you?" she could come up with a hundred reasons why someone would, but-- "I mean, it's got to be more than them just thinkin' you needed something to take the edge off and join them in the party..."

[staeryed]

[staeryed]

Keeping it short and sweet today, much like this wonderful Elain!

Art by the talented: @tomandosal

Thank you for bringing her to life so vibrantly! Your attention to detail is phenomenal, such a pleasure.

no repost, please <3

[staeryed]

when i finally feel the laughter die in my chest, i calm and wait for the tears to stop flowing. my fingers wipe off the excess water and blot it upon a napkin on the table. sighing, the high comes down along with a bit of my mood, but not much. " i'm not laughing at you. . . " i tell nova and it's true - i'm not laughing at her at all. i'm laughing at the absurdity that is this place and this situation. how on earth could we not laugh at this wreck of an estate and this moment? what sort of beings eat pie in a place that looks like this?

" eating anything in this room would be cause for laughter, i'm afraid. " i pick up my fork for another bite but almost decide against it. the fork teeters in my fingers and then taps the edge of the pan the pie was baked in. i'm deep in thought now and cannot help but where my mind takes me. my green eyes settle on her features, her tucked in legs, casual movements. . . she feels safe here. good, i'm glad for it. but this is not a place she should feel safe. . . i am a monster, a beast. . . and this place is not safe. the urge to clean it up is overwhelming and i tamp it down for the time being. i will start on it tonight.

" i suppose it could be my bedtime story, if you're up to the challenge. "

chestnut hues are fixed to his features, and for a moment she thinks he may just look impressed. nova finds herself perking up, ready and waiting for her compliment, but then he does the unthinkable. laughter ripples through him, the volume of it impacting their surroundings, and she stares at him in disbelief. for a few moments she’s so dumbfounded that it’s as if he’s stolen all the sound from her being, and then she surprises herself. a small chuckle escapes her. once again her fingertips lift to cover her lips, surprised to hear the sound after so long, but she can’t stifle it. the corners of her eyes crinkle with her laughter, and her fingertips smooth over her brow as if to restrain herself. it doesn’t work. 

" don’t laugh at me, tamlin! i didn’t know what else to say. " but she doesn’t mind at all; he can laugh all the way into the early hours of the morning if he pleases. the sound of it lightens her mood and she relaxes back into the chair, pulling her legs up to cross them beneath her... whatever shred of proper behaviour she was holding onto is long forgotten as she views him. it’s difficult to tell if his tears are from crying or the product of the hurt he’s been holding on to, but for as long as he’s letting them out, she doesn’t care to ask. " perhaps i should read a recipe book to you, if it amuses you so? would a step by step on how to bake a lemon drizzle cake do it for you? "

[staeryed]

when nova side steps the glass,  guilt takes over my being.  i can feel it seep deeply inside every pore and inch of myself.   shame,  guilt,  embarrassment . . . all things i have not felt for ages.  what she must think of a high lord such as myself. she has to think so poorly of what i have become and what i've allowed this place to look like - shit.  it looks like utter shit all around us: broken glass, shattered chairs,  ivy growing in places i once made sure it only covered for decoration, not disarray.   fuck.  i should have done better. . . but she hasn't said a single word nor made me feel guilty about this place.  i'm almost expecting it.  but no, she offers me pie and sits with me in a stained chair.  i don't deserve such niceties. 

   i summon a fork i have not bent in half and take a bite,  savoring the tartness of the cherries and the sweetness of the mix.  the crust is buttery, flaky, and everything one should ever want in a pie.  it's damn near perfect and i want to applaud her efforts . . .  but instead i swallow. . .  and laugh.  my head tips back and i bellow out the loudest,  deepest laugh that rattles the chandeiler crystals above us.  i am not amused nor am i mad . .  i am just filled with emotion.  i am embarrassed and grateful and i cannot contain how STUPID this must look to anyone else.   a dirty, smelly high lord of spring in his shit house, in this shit land, as a shit spy, ruined by a shit of a girl, and it all just matches how shit i've been to everyone and everything.   and i'm here, eating pie, in this absolute wreck of an estate.   oh how i haven't laughed like this in years and i cannot seem to stop it.    not even as tears roll down my face, leaving dirt streaks in their wake.   it's as if EVERYTHING is catching up to me all at once and i cannot stop the crying nor the laughter.  it blends into one together. 

"  i'm sorry . . . just  . . . what the fuck? " 

it’s that flash of light that takes her by surprise; the blinding moment of brightness before he returns to himself. but she focuses on keeping herself steady, concerned that if she looks at all spooked he may retreat further into himself. a smile warms her eyes as she takes in his appearance. tamlin may not be entirely himself, but he is the closest thing she has to a friend in the spring court. the rest are long gone. " — there you are. " sort of. he’s hardly the polished high lord she’s so used to, but he's close enough that it stops her usual desire to be blunt… keeps her from ensuring that he knows he needs to bathe. he must know. 

" that’s a relief. i’ve been surviving on sweets for the past week. " it’s all she knows how to make, but she hadn’t told her staff that when she’d dismissed them. they must have known. afterall, they were the ones who had taught her to bake as a girl. it had always been far more interesting to her than making something sustainable. who had the time to roast a chicken or glaze vegetables with honey? " this one should be better than yesterday’s. it was far too tart. i think i put too much lemon juice in... " a frown tugs at the corners of her mouth when she hears herself. nova isn’t sure why she’s sharing such boring details, but she’s at a loss for what else to say as she side steps broken glass and takes the seat beside tamlin's, waiting with raised eyebrows for him to take the first bite and give her a verdict.

[staeryed]

i'm sure my hair is ruffled from flight from the party far down below.  i couldn't take it anymore ; the laughter, the chatter. . .  even my shadows seemed to dim from exhaustion.  i can't remember the last time i had a rest in my own bed. the ground had been an unwelcomed companion for two weeks and four days. i've slept on the ground most of my childhood and some of my adulthood but after finding the luxury of a bed or couch,  i tend to wish i was in a bed instead.

however,   finding gwyn training hard in the rain had left thoughts of my bed behind.   she was soaked and yet kept swiping her blade, pushing beyond, and kicking the hanging bag in front of her relentlessly. it was honorable and impressive, especially for everything she has overcome.  i don't pity her at all,  i'm in awe of her strength.  i've never told her because i don't want to remind her of anything she'd like to forget. . . but perhaps one day i will let her know. 

she accepted when i asked her inside. a single wave of my hand and she was dry - a blanket wrapped around her.  i try not to let people know the extent of my power but this was a basic need and simple magic. rhys is the only person who truly knows what i am capable of. . . and i want to keep it that way.  the house gifted us with drinks and they sat steaming on the table in front of the couch.  i sat across from her,  in the chair that accomodated for my wings. relaxing in the chair,  my shadows flick around me happily and whisper of gwyn's melody - that apparently i cannot hear in my state.  

i didn’t have very much when i came here , so i guess i’m kind of trying to make up for that . @sunsetstained

i nodded in agreement and understanding.  " i also had nothing when i met rhys. "  the thoughts darken my expression but only for a moment ; life wasn't like that anymore. i barely had clothes on my back - couldn't fly. . . it was why the pit of hate opened for the illyrians and their barbaric methods against children and women. 

" is there anything you have found you've wanted but don't have yet? "

[staeryed]

the club is loud,   deafening almost, but the words were spoken loud and clear. the drink in my hands was taken and poured out behind the bar before i was even aware on what was happening.   had i really drank that much or had i been drugged?   blinking my hazel, yet blurry, eyes rapidly, i tried to gain vision on the female in front of me.  

“so ,  sue me .  i didn’t want you to die .”  @jvstsaywhen

    " die? " i question,  wondering exactly what she meant.   had i honestly been drugged ? at my size, it should be out of my system fairly quickly but losing control is the last thing i want. especially here, where there are far too many people and people i don't know.  i had never thought this was a bad idea and i've been in lots of . . . odd yet violent situations, but i've never lost control.  this better not be one of those fucking times.   clearing my throat, i question again,  " what do you mean? " 

[staeryed]

he breezes past me as if i'm nothing but i know he's holding it all inside.   for me,  everything is so intense and bright that i cannot deciper what is new and what is not, to fae standards.  if the mating bond is real, it appeared as soon as i exited so it's all i've ever known... perhaps that's what makes it easier to deny or give in to . . .  because it has always been.  i don't feel an overwhelming urge to be next to him or anything. . . but i also don't know how to sort all of my emotions yet.  it's daunting. 

    i turn,  shutting the door and glancing over my shoulder at his back.  he appears tense and withdrawn and i feel that same sadness.   i wish to ease his pain but i don't know how . . . if i give in and try, it may hurt him more than myself in the long run and i don't want to offer up such a thing so soon.  

     " i made tea. " my hand motions to the sitting room,  where i had not expected company but prepared for it anyway.  i always do because someone is always bustling around here, needing something.  the solace provided is usually welcomed.   i don't know if it will be here, but i hope so.  " rhys said he'd be back in about an hour. . .  that was thirty minutes ago. "  i wring my hands together,  noticing how small they are compared to his.  smoothing them on my apron to stop my nervous habit,  i force a smile and step closer.   is each step closer a death sentence for him ?   i don't want to hurt him, i truly don't. . . i don't know any other way out of this.  he has been nothing but respectful and honest . .  and i'm afraid but not of lucien. . . but of myself. 

There is an ache that settles in my chest, it widens every step I take from her; and yet it must be done. The words fly from my mouth before I can comprehend the harshness, the way they land on her. Elain. Does she worry that I'd steal her away? Still? Rarely do I interact with her, giving her the space she seems to so desperately crave from me.

Breezing past Elain is always the hardest. The faint scent of jasmine that haunts my dreams, and now my waking hours. Turning when she speaks, I stumble for words. "Oh" Mentally I curse, knowing this only prolongs my time here. Making her suffer.

"I was meant to meet with Rhys" I explain, although it doesn't sound very convincing. "I'll wait in the study to not disturb you."

[staeryed]

 My breath stops in my throat and i watch his face with surprise. I hope it doesn't show upon my features but I've always been unable to hide.  I don't know why he's here or what he wants but when he speaks,  my nerves calm yet I feel . . . Sadness. 

"relax , i’m not here for you." @flamesofday speaks.

My words dry up in my mouth and my hand slips from the golden door handle.  I nod, moving aside in the doorway to let him by.  He's so tall, his long, red hair shines against the setting sun and the fae lights that litter the space around us. My lips part - I want to speak to him but I never know what to say and I don't want to reject him even more than I have with my lack of understanding this world. 

"Okay." I say quietly, almost in a whisper. I know he can hear me. I swear his eye can see right through my being, as if I were glass. "No one else is here right now." 

[staeryed]

   the room is in disarray and i know how bad it looks - broken glasses, vases, splintered chairs, the table cloth is splattered with old, crusted blood from a cut that would not stop gushing two weeks ago. it's bad.. there are no housekeepers left. there's no one left to cut the grass, water the flowers, or nuture what has been lost in my court.  it's my fault and the guilt i hold inside my chest is so large, i fear it has overtaken more than just me.  my surroundings suffer and i know i'm filled with regret, rage, and a depression so overwhelming that it will kill me.  the high lord of night has been by far too many times for my liking but i can sense he cares, somehow, someway.   feyre has apologized since but it hasn't helped the state of my being nor anything around me. 

but here, her,  strong, tough nova. she's offering pie and my stomach howls for it. the sweet cherries tempt but the blood red of the berries has my stomach twisting.  i feel my gut threaten to flip upside down and my bowels go lax.  the red of the berries reminds me of all the blood on my hands.  i sigh softly and there's a flash of light before i'm rubbing a human hand over my face. my blonde hair is sure to be matted and dirty, along with the rest of my body.   at least i had remembered clothes, otherwise this could have been a stranger encounter.  with fae ability alone, i saunter gracefully over to the table that still stands in the middle of the room and eye the pie up close. it looks and smells delicious ; the flaky pastry atop does wonders on my senses.  this is the first act of true kindness without pity i've gotten from anyone... i do not take it lightly or for granted.  " yes, i would like to join you. " i tell her,  pulling out a chair for her as well as i next to her. 

nova doesn’t know why she finds herself returning to the manor house so often. over the course of the past few days she has consistently found it in a worse state than the one she left it in; the same can be said for tamlin. but she can’t seem to help herself. it’s familiar to her, and being within its walls is still more comforting than her own empty home... which she has tried to wreck on a few occasions herself. has torn books from their shelves and thrown chairs at the windows. but even with her powers restored she’s unable to do quite as much damage to her surroundings as tamlin has. she did manage to explode the fountain in the entrance though, and that had been satisfying for a minute or two until a new wave of grief had washed over her. 

with her fingertips pressed to her mouth to conceal some of her response she tears her attention away from the disarray of the room, dark eyes settling on his. tamlin’s form must be frightening for those who have never seen it. before now she had only seen it on a few occasions – when her brothers had persuaded him to transform for her as if it were a party trick. so she doesn’t fear him. not when she can recognise his eyes; not when she sees her own sadness mirrored back to her. 

there was a time when she had wanted feyre gone more than anything in the world. she had spent countless nights awake thinking of ways to tear her throat out. before her she’d had better ways of entertaining herself when sleep had evaded her. perhaps she should have killed her. it would have spared tamlin the hurt of being so thoroughly betrayed. but after the curse was broken she grew complacent – too used to her presence, and too busy enjoying getting back in touch with her abilities.

" this is the first time i’ve felt like somebody understood how i’ve been feeling for years. " tears sting in the corners of her eyes as she takes a good look at what’s become of her high lord. the males in her family had always served his family loyally. it was their calling. perhaps that was why she’d never truly been angry at him for sending her brothers out to die – she felt the very same allegiance to him. if she were a male, there’s a decent chance she also would have begged on her knees to be sent beyond the wall too. but it’s difficult to put it into words, that each time one of her loved ones plead for their deaths, it was them that she resented for being so willing to leave her. " i bought food... if you’d like some. i’d rather not eat an entire cherry pie alone. "

[staeryed]

the silence permeates through the space and echoes off the walls - i'd been in my beast form for days now and had not come up for air.  i didn't want to drown but i also couldn't stand being human and having human thoughts and cares.   my broken heart punctured my lungs with every breath and though i knew i had broken it myself, i still could not withstand the pain.  my eyes look to nova through sorrowful lenses.   she had all but read my mind and i could not understand why.. maybe i didn't want to. 

heartbreaking , isn’t it ? when someone you loved and thought you knew turns out to be someone else ? @sunsetstained says.

i nod, because i cannot form any other words but this.   this simplistic movement.   perhaps i have been a beast too long... or perhaps that's simply what i've always been.   fight. anger.  staying alive, even when i want to be pulled under the waves of death.  eternal peace is not what beasts get.  that's what i'm reduced to.  i am inclined to walk away,  turn my back upon the girl and do what beasts do...  but i am not a beast. i am  high lord of the spring court and i cannot just walk away from someone speaking to me... no matter how badly i want to.  nova has never been anything but kind to me so being rude to her makes no sense. i don't deserve kindness as i've sent her brothers to death sentences in the past .. but she still shows it. i clear my throat and finally speak,   " yes, it's very heartbreaking. " my voice is almost painful in my throat - rough from disuse and only growling.   " why do you ask? " 

[staeryed]

↪     𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑾𝑶𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  5  of  syfy’s  “ warehouse 13 ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . )

nothing to worry about on this end .

keep me posted .

i’ve got another idea .

wait ,  wait ,  wait …

i’m not a total idiot .

look ,  [ name ] ,  that’s not what matters right now .

drive .  okay ?  just … drive fast .

of all the illegal things i’ve done ,  this is probably the least illegal .

we are not talking about that !

are you kidding me ?!

i’m gonna need another pair of hands .

i’ve got a plan i’m absolutely certain will work .

not cool !  not cool !

oh my god ,  what a great idea ,  [ name ] !  wish i’d thought of that !

i’ll explain later .

[ name ] , what just happened ?

i want him dead .

i just think we should make an informed decision .

heartbreaking ,  isn’t it ?  when someone you loved and thought you knew turns out to be someone else ?

the question is ;  are you with me ,  or are you against me ?

hey !  what’d you do that for ?

there goes our element of surprise .

you have no idea what you’re giving up .

so ,  sue me .  i didn’t want you to die .

stop staring at me !

this way i can keep an eye on you .

patience ,  and all will be revealed .

follow my instructions for a change .

are you busy tonight ?

i will cut you .

now if you’ll excuse me , i have to get ready .

do you want to tell me the truth , this time ?

i don’t need you to protect me .

should i ignore the fact that that sounds insane ?

you’re lying , it makes no sense .

i haven’t hurt anyone .

there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .

you have been lying to me .

i haven’t forgotten about  [ name ] .

a little bit dramatic ,  don’t you think ?

okay ,  your life is worse .  congrats .

there’s no need to close that door forever .

can we stop talking about this and just get back to work ?

how about we just start with this ?

hopefully you’ll understand why i did what i did .

i told you i’d be back .

despite everything [ name ] told you ,  you’re here anyways .

life is shorter than you ever think .

i think a little danger is worth it ,  don’t you ?

please note that i didn’t say anything about how dangerous that would be .

you take one hand ,  i’ll take the other ?

what’s so important ?

i’m not blaming you ,  i just wanna know what happened .

i don’t understand .  where am i ?

listen ,  there was -   there was a car accident .

no way ,  come on .  i don’t believe you .

we’re gonna talk everything through from the very beginning .

i have the feeling this is gonna take awhile .

don’t worry about it .  i’ll take care of  [ name ] .

i didn’t have very much when i came here ,  so i guess i’m kind of trying to make up for that .

the internet’s still around ?

i gotta say ,  i’m really hating this .  i just ,  nothing feels real .

i’m just gonna wake up and be me again .

this cannot be my life !

please stop saying it’s gonna be alright because it’s not !

i was in a mental institution .

not to outdo you ,  but crazy girl carries a lot more stigma .

my strongest memories of you have to do with that guitar .

oh ,  boo - hoo ,  what .  is .  the .  plan ?

did you not hear me say very ,  very carefully ?!

this place is about as secure as a kiosk at the mall .

do not snap at me ,  okay ?

do you have any enemies ?  anyone who might want to hurt you ?

am i doing all these things with my mind ?!

i haven’t cursed anyone in years .

weren’t you nervous to play in front of people ?

let’s just say i’m addicted to more than just coffee .

would you play for me ?

since you missed the concert ,  i thought we could have one of our own .

my keen sense of perception is giving me the impression that you are upset .

don’t partonize me ,  [ name ] .

look ,  why don’t we just quietly work together ?

it was an accident ,  i didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt .

i didn’t know it was gonna be dangerous .

no one’s gonna die !  okay ?  we’re gonna fix this .

have you seen him ?  i mean ,  really looked at him ?

when you really love someone ,  you want them to be happy .  even if it isn’t with you .

talking down to me does not help !

i’m not talking down to you ,  i’m just talking you DOWN  …  there’s a difference .

it’s this place ,  it’s a thousand things !

you SHOT me ?!

with clear eyes  …  and a full heart ,  you can’t lose .

will you tell me everything that happened while i was sleeping ?

i’m so sorry ,  i know i should’ve told you sooner .

i remember ,  now .  i remember everything .

i’m not gonna let you go back to that .

you’ve tried everything ,  haven’t you ?

if i only get one day ,  i am so ,  so glad i got this one .

i’m counting on you to fix all of this .

i’ll find a way .  i promise .

what answer will make you stop asking ?

relax ,  i’m not here for you .

that’s why you’re yelling like your hair’s on fire ?

i hate being friends with you .

i want to punch things .

i’m on the verge of a major breakthrough !

fine ,  i’ll go .  this better be snappy .

i called the police ,  they said i had to wait 24 hours .

[staeryed]

      ❝ 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔶 𝔢𝔶𝔢𝔰 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔦𝔫' 𝔲𝔭 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 ❞

oo1.       PROMPTS. oo2. CLAIMS. oo3. CONTENT. oo4. MUSES BELOW.

LIT MUSES:

alina starkov / shadow and bone freya / a fate inked in blood bjorn / a fate inked in blood rune / heartless hunter peeta mellark / the hunger games violet sorrengail / fourth wing liam mairi / fourth wing xaden / fourth wing dain aetos / fourth wing aaric graycastle / fourth wing kai / powerless kitt / powerless lorian / a court this cruel and lovely isla / lightlark grim / lightlark oro / lightlark azriel / a court of thorns and roses tamlin / a court of thorns and roses nyx / a court of thorns and roses elain archeron / a court of thorns and roses feyre archeron / a court of thorns and roses poppy / from blood and ash casteel / from blood and ash kieran / from blood and ash leith / bloodguard hunt athalar / crescent city gavriel / throne of glass aelin / throne of glass dorian / throne of glass lily potter / harry potter series regulus black / harry potter series harry potter / harry potter series teddy lupin / harry potter series

TELEVISION + ART:

asha / disney's wish princess rapunzel / disney's tangled princess anna / disney's frozen liko / pokemon horizons - the series

leon / pokemon journeys: the series ash / pokemon journeys: the series damon salvatore / the vampire diaries elena gilbert / the vampire diaries

april o'neil / teenage mutant ninja turtles elijah mikaelson / the originals hope mikaelson / the originals - legacies davina claire / the originals

OC'S:

camilla 'millie' argos / crescent city series kaia umbra / acotar