st4rrl1ghtwastaken

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

hi. umm.

i’m sorry this is very sudden, but we’ll be stepping back from tumblr for now. mental health has taken a turn for the worse, and we don’t have much free time these days anyways.

to @chaotic-snowflake , you’re a great friend and a great writer.

to @yourlocalxiaosimp , we hope you figure out the situation with your possible median system.

to @wanderpawn and @covespencil , you’re both wonderful systems and i trust that things will feel better for you all someday.

and to everyone else, thank you and i’m sorry.

we might check in now and again, but we won’t really be returning properly for a while. until then, goodbye.

stay safe everyone.

~🩵

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

BEAST-YEAST EPISODE 8 SPOILERS

...okay so we can all agree that shadow milk has feelings for pure vanilla right?

i thought it was obvious since episode 7 that shadow milk doesn't hate pure vanilla. if he did and only cared about the soul jam, he would have killed pure vanilla or caused his death in some way. no, instead, he kept him to play around with him, and offered him a home in the spire, which is literally said to be unusual by candy apple and black sapphire (the two characters who are technically closest to him) so pure vanilla is a special case.

he's also notably happier interacting with pure vanilla than he is the other deceitful trio (based on the story & kingdom interactions)

to the point where this update gave us this very ugly but very elated sprite from shadow milk used exclusively when he's with pure vanilla

because apparently shadow milk has been bored all the time without pure vanilla!! he's been bored so much that black sapphire can TELL when he's bored, and keep in mind, shadow milk is someone who masks his true emotions ALL THE TIME

of course, shadow milk's goal was to watch pure vanilla fall to deceit—but that's very clearly rooted in his desire to finally have someone who understands him.

the moment pure vanilla accepts deceit, and vows to spend eternity with shadow milk, shadow milk is immediately excited and happy, and they merge souls. shadow milk accepts pure vanilla as a part of him just like how he wanted pure vanilla to accept him.

(note that he says "us" and not "me". he fully intends to work with pv as partners lol)

and when pure vanilla finally awakens and reveals it was all a trick, shadow milk is CRUSHED. he calls pure vanilla a traitor, because he thought pure vanilla would actually join his side.

all this reads like he really, really wanted pure vanilla on his side. again, all of the toying with him to make him fall to deceit, and telling pure vanilla he understands, he's been there, so it's time for pure vanilla to accept his fate.

but, of course shadow milk is an extremely contradictory person; even though he wanted pure vanilla to understand him, he didn't ACTUALLY want pure vanilla to understand him. because when pure vanilla feels his loneliness and calls him out on it, shadow milk can't admit it, to himself or to pure vanilla. he can't admit that he longs for pure vanilla's company.

and pure vanilla longs for his company too! he accepts shadow milk and his deceit, and wants shadow milk to accept him too. it's a complete reversal of what shadow milk wanted to happen.

pure vanilla stretches his hand out to shadow milk, a peace offering, an offer for them to develop a relationship other than that of enemies.

and shadow milk HESITATES.

HE FUCKING HESITATES. i can't understate how crazy it is that shadow milk, for a split second, could have actually considered pure vanilla's proposal. the guy that has been shown to be nothing but ruthless and without morals Hesitates when pure vanilla asks to be his friend.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING WANTS TO BE PURE VANILLA'S FRIEND

HE WANTS HIS COMPANY!!! HE WANTS TO PLAY GAMES WITH HIM!!! HE WANTS TO BE BY PURE VANILLA'S SIDE SO BADLY

BUT HE CAN'T EMBRACE TRUTH THE WAY PURE VANILLA EMBRACES DECEIT. HE CAN'T STOP LYING TO HIMSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND HIM THAT HE DOESN'T WANT THIS AND THAT HE'S NOT LONELY, THAT HE HAS EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED, THAT HE'S HAPPY.

HE'S NOT HAPPY!!!!!

HE'S NOT HAPPY WITHOUT PURE VANILLA BY HIS SIDE AND HE'S JUST NOW REALIZING IT!!!! AND NOW HE HAS TO PUSH HIM AWAY INSTEAD OF BEING HONEST!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't like this game Tbh

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

let me be your...

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

I can't-

WHAT THE FUCK???

This is killing me. What the fuck is wrong with them......

What is this?!?!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW SOFTLY SHADOW MILK SAID "FRIEND"

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

BEAST-YEAST EPISODE 8 SPOILERS

...okay so we can all agree that shadow milk has feelings for pure vanilla right?

i thought it was obvious since episode 7 that shadow milk doesn't hate pure vanilla. if he did and only cared about the soul jam, he would have killed pure vanilla or caused his death in some way. no, instead, he kept him to play around with him, and offered him a home in the spire, which is literally said to be unusual by candy apple and black sapphire (the two characters who are technically closest to him) so pure vanilla is a special case.

he's also notably happier interacting with pure vanilla than he is the other deceitful trio (based on the story & kingdom interactions)

to the point where this update gave us this very ugly but very elated sprite from shadow milk used exclusively when he's with pure vanilla

because apparently shadow milk has been bored all the time without pure vanilla!! he's been bored so much that black sapphire can TELL when he's bored, and keep in mind, shadow milk is someone who masks his true emotions ALL THE TIME

of course, shadow milk's goal was to watch pure vanilla fall to deceit—but that's very clearly rooted in his desire to finally have someone who understands him.

the moment pure vanilla accepts deceit, and vows to spend eternity with shadow milk, shadow milk is immediately excited and happy, and they merge souls. shadow milk accepts pure vanilla as a part of him just like how he wanted pure vanilla to accept him.

(note that he says "us" and not "me". he fully intends to work with pv as partners lol)

and when pure vanilla finally awakens and reveals it was all a trick, shadow milk is CRUSHED. he calls pure vanilla a traitor, because he thought pure vanilla would actually join his side.

all this reads like he really, really wanted pure vanilla on his side. again, all of the toying with him to make him fall to deceit, and telling pure vanilla he understands, he's been there, so it's time for pure vanilla to accept his fate.

but, of course shadow milk is an extremely contradictory person; even though he wanted pure vanilla to understand him, he didn't ACTUALLY want pure vanilla to understand him. because when pure vanilla feels his loneliness and calls him out on it, shadow milk can't admit it, to himself or to pure vanilla. he can't admit that he longs for pure vanilla's company.

and pure vanilla longs for his company too! he accepts shadow milk and his deceit, and wants shadow milk to accept him too. it's a complete reversal of what shadow milk wanted to happen.

pure vanilla stretches his hand out to shadow milk, a peace offering, an offer for them to develop a relationship other than that of enemies.

and shadow milk HESITATES.

HE FUCKING HESITATES. i can't understate how crazy it is that shadow milk, for a split second, could have actually considered pure vanilla's proposal. the guy that has been shown to be nothing but ruthless and without morals Hesitates when pure vanilla asks to be his friend.

BECAUSE HE FUCKING WANTS TO BE PURE VANILLA'S FRIEND

HE WANTS HIS COMPANY!!! HE WANTS TO PLAY GAMES WITH HIM!!! HE WANTS TO BE BY PURE VANILLA'S SIDE SO BADLY

BUT HE CAN'T EMBRACE TRUTH THE WAY PURE VANILLA EMBRACES DECEIT. HE CAN'T STOP LYING TO HIMSELF AND EVERYONE AROUND HIM THAT HE DOESN'T WANT THIS AND THAT HE'S NOT LONELY, THAT HE HAS EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED, THAT HE'S HAPPY.

HE'S NOT HAPPY!!!!!

HE'S NOT HAPPY WITHOUT PURE VANILLA BY HIS SIDE AND HE'S JUST NOW REALIZING IT!!!! AND NOW HE HAS TO PUSH HIM AWAY INSTEAD OF BEING HONEST!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't like this game Tbh

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

happy valentine’s day i guess. have some lesbians. (not as good as we’d like but it’s alright, i think. tumblr might have ruined the image quality..)

feel free to reblog or use anywhere, as long as you give credit ^^

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

a good gender neutral term to use is “fool”

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

Being autistic is like screaming through a megaphone “please don’t overwork me, i WILL explode” and everyone responds like haha well. You’ll get used to it over time :)

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

OBVIOUSLY nobody should ever be abused and abuse is bad and abusers should not be coddled. I went through abuse myself, I know this

that being said. I don't think being a victim of abuse gives you the right to go around telling people that they remind you of your abuser for reasons they cannot control. it is unkind, unfair, and incredibly manipulative to treat other people this way. I don't care if it is because your abuser was an addict, or had a particular religious background, or had a particular disorder, or something else entirely. you cannot hold an entire group of people responsible for what happened to you

you are not morally obligated to spend time with people who remind you of your abuser. but you are morally obligated to treat other people with dignity and respect

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

now seems like a good time to remind my fellow alt kids out there that you do NOT wear your political patches on your back.

wear them on the front. that way if someone disagrees and decides to get violent about it, they’re less likely to sneak up on you and catch you off-guard. stay safe.

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

cookie run is so funny because wtf wdym my cookies have mercury in them...

[st4rrl1ghtwastaken]

So, Shadow Milk Cookie spent so long gaining the knowledge and helping others gain knowledge, that he no longer even knew what he desired.

Honestly, this can explain so, so much of his behavior. He lies because it's something that he can do now to gain control. He is selfish because he never got to be. In his corruption, he finally became free.