a sideblog for my unhinged and unrelenting monster lover inclinations**I am an adult who writes for other adults**
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Kissy Kissy
Imagine telling your new-ish tigerman boyfriend that you don't really like kissing.
He looks surprised, of course, and then curious. He asks you to tell him more.
You tell him the truth, that you just don't really like the feeling of a tongue in your mouth all of a sudden when you're trying to get stuff done.
He frowns, and asks if you have only been kissed when someone else wanted a kiss, and not you.
You blink for a bit, and then say yes.
His brow furrows, and he asks you why you thought you didn't like kisses if you have never been kissed when you actually want it.
You frown at him and say no no no, if I liked kisses then they would feel good.
He squints at you. Not if you weren't in the mood, though, right?
You both pause and look at each other for a moment.
He apologizes for not taking your boundary seriously and promises that he won't kiss you on the mouth.
You smile and nod.
He gives you a look, and then adds: unless you beg, that is.
You roll your eyes and change the subject.
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Later that night, your boyfriend is fast asleep on the couch. His fuzzy belly is warm against your cheek. His shorts are riding up on his thick thighs and if you were braver, you'd be looking down instead of hiding your face in his tummy.
His purrs and rumbles ease your nerves, and you find yourself thinking about what he said earlier. He's always been okay with whatever boundaries you've set, and you know his Nana didn't raise him to be unkind to his sweethearts. That makes his earlier questions seem even stranger.
...Does he really think you would beg for a kiss?
You thought only hardcore bdsm-lovers did that kind of thing. The sort of people who wanted to be chained up and spit on. You don't want to be spit on! And if he thinks it's okay to boss you around in bed, he's got another thing co-
Your mental rant is interrupted by the feeling of something warm hitting your neck.
You look up, and your brain short-circuits.
His toothy mouth hangs open, and his long pink tongue is lolling out to the side. Silvery saliva runs down his chest in rivulets, some getting on your skin.
The house is quiet except for the sounds of his heavy breathing.
You creep up towards his face, your eyes never leaving his mouth. Transfixed, you watch his drool drip down his long tongue. His breath smells like the tea he drank earlier, earthy and warm. Goosebumps ripple across your body, and you shiver as arousal tugs on your stomach.
Your brain is screaming at you to get a hold of yourself, but you don't have it in you to stop.
You lean forward, take the tip of his big wet tongue in your mouth, and start to suckle on it.
Molten hot lava flows through you and you whimper quietly as you suck on his tongue, swallowing his saliva. You feel tingly from head to toe. Never in your life have you felt this aroused from so little.
Your head is swimming, and your heartbeat is loud in your ears. It's so loud, in fact, that you don't notice your boyfriend is starting to wake.
A groan, low and raspy permeates the fuzzy cloud around your head, and you jolt in shock as your boyfriend tugs his tongue out of your mouth and leans down to meet your gaze.
The hungry look in his yellow eyes makes all your excuses catch in your throat.
You'll be doing a lot of begging tonight.
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petite monster
tw fatphobia
You have been dreading this day for nearly a whole year. Even though you accepted your current job as gardener for kind, wealthy family of goblins knowing you would eventually have to attend some sort of party, a large part of you still hoped it would never happen.
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The family you have been working for are affectionately called 'the navy' by the townspeople because of their distinctive deep blue birthmarks that appear in splotches head-to-toe. The rest of their skin is green, of course, as they are all full-blooded goblins. (Rumor has it their ancestors were some of the first to leave The Underground.)
You have lived in this town your whole adult life, very often seeing some or all of them at shops and festivals alike. Never very social, you always kept your distance, never doing more than smiling from across the room. Not that you had anything against them! Quite the opposite actually. They had done so much good for the townspeople, you had firmly made up your mind to be as cordial as possible while tending to their gardens.
The navy family was quite large, with many extended aunts and uncles and cousins all living on one estate. It was easy to forget names when faced with six or seven similar-looking people saying hello all at once. There was one goblin, however, who was impossible for you to forget.
He stood about two feet shorter than you, same as most of his family members, and seemed incapable of making it 24 hours without speaking to you about something. At first it was polite greetings around the property. Then he always seemed to need you to get something from a tall shelf in the greenhouses for him. After you placed stepladders throughout, he switched to asking questions. Questions about plants. Questions about the weather. Questions about the local wildlife.
You just assumed he was a weird sort of guy who needed the social practice. But one day, after he watched you prune roses for an uncomfortably long moment, he asked how you like your tea. And the next day, he brought a tray of it with him. When you refused it, insisting you couldn't relax on the job, his pointed ears drooped a little as he sighed and nodded.
After that, he didn't bring gifts again. But the questions persisted. He asked you all sorts of questions about yourself, and usually answered them himself as well. Even though you tried your hardest to focus only on your work, your little green-and-blue shadow was slowly starting to grow on you.
Over the months, you found yourself looking forward to his daily visits more and more. But you pushed those warm feelings deep, deep down inside, determined to not make a fool of yourself.
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Now, on the morning of the day you had hoped for so long would never come, you realized that he was the only person you trusted enough to help you get out of this obligation.
Throwing on some clothes and sturdy shoes, you grab your bulkiest cloak and head outside. After wandering the gardens for a while, he appears next to you, like always.
Seeing your hands picking relentlessly at your sleeves, his smile dims slightly as he regards you.
"Is everything alright?" He asks, cocking his head to the side.
"No. I cannot attend your aunt's party this evening. Will you help me hide?" You ask him, your voice blunt and inflectionless due to your nerves.
His brows raise. "Hide? From what? You've worked here for ages, you know we don't bite." You only frown in response. With a hum, he looks you over, taking note of your tired eyes and quick breaths.
"What about the party is scaring you this much? Surely not the company?" He tries to lighten the mood and smiles at you gently.
"Yes the company!" You snap. His eyes widen and you start feeling the familiar pressure on your ribcage. Too much, too much your heart beat says.
"S-sorry" You whisper, throat tightening at the shocked look on his face.
You try to steady your breathing and fail. He still looks somewhat shaken, but now he's more concerned than anything.
He tentatively takes a step towards you, his soft eyes boring into yours. "Please talk to me, I want to know the whole picture. I promise I will help you, I'm sorry I didn't kno-"
"It's not your fault." You interrupt. He looks like he doesn't quite believe you, and that makes something inside you lurch.
"Can you explain it to me like I'm stupid?" He says, after watching the tears building in your eyes for a moment.
You quirk your lips up despite how awful you feel. A pause for you to collect your thoughts, and then, "I don't look like you." You say.
A moment passes, and when he sees you aren't going to keep talking, he tilts his head. "Explain it to me like I'm even stupider."
With a sigh and a sniff, you resign yourself to fleeing your job and leaving the country due to embarrassment. Clenching your hands so tight you start to get pins and needles, you square your shoulders and look him in the eye. "I don't look like you. I'm fat. You aren't. Seeing my ugly fat body surrounded by fancy pretty party-people will gross you out."
Almost immediately, his expression changes to one of horror. "What-what are you saying? Do you hear yourself?" He gapes at you. You just look at him, confused. "I'm just saying the truth. It's happened before, and they were much larger than you."
In an instant, he is furious. "That is evil. They are evil."
Your brow shoots up. "Don't say that! They aren't evil!"
He looks at you, a swirl of emotions on his face that you can no longer read. "If that isn't evil, I don't know what is." He takes a deep breath and nods to himself. He holds out his hand to you. "We're not going to the party tonight. Let's take a carriage to the Southern forest. We can eat a picnic there with no disturbances."
You stare at his hand, caught completely off-guard. "I- what?"
His hand remains outstretched to you. "I am taking you on a date, tonight. If it turns out that you hate it and me that is fine but I cannot live with myself knowing such a beautiful person thinks that way about themself." His eyes hold a passion you have never seen before.
A gust of wind blows suddenly, and when your hastily-buttoned shirt flaps open he averts his eyes without second thought.
For once, you don't squash the warmth that flickers to life inside you.
You kneel on the ground before him, and take his hand. He is still as a statue and twice as silent as you gently feel the hairs on the back of his hand. "This conversation has been a lot." You say softly, keeping your eyes glued to his hand.
"One date." He whispers, tipping his head to look you in the eyes. "If you want to be friends instead that is more than okay with me. But I'd really, really like to woo you properly. After hearing you say those things about yourself... I can't pretend I don't find you attractive anymore. I just can't, it feels cruel." He chews on his lip slightly while speaking.
"Woo me?" You say, your heart feeling tight and light at the same time.
He smiles crookedly. "Woo you." He agrees.
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the end!
#exophelia#goblin x reader#goblin x human#monster#monster lover#monster boyfriend#monster bf#fat reader#fluff
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lil alien thoughts
one of my favorite tropes is having to explain very common/simple things to your lover because they are from a planet that's very very very different from earth
especially if you're both on a spaceship doing space stuff and you realize early on in your relationship that you gotta be SUPER clear communicators with each other because nothing is immediately understood across your cultures
like picture you sitting across the table from your boo and they're eating spaghetti or whatever and then all of a sudden they start glowing
and you're like hey you good????
and they're like yeah just ate too big a bite
or you're sitting in the bathtub after a stressful day and your alien walks in and starts freaking out and after spending a chunk of time trying to calm them down you figure out that they could sense you sitting in a warm liquid and they just assumed you were in a pool of your own blood, halfway dead
or the first time you sneeze around your alien partner they think it's a mating call and they immediately get horny and then so so embarrassed when you explain in between laughter what the noise actually means
and then to tease them you blow raspberries on your palm when you walk in on them changing, and it's like the alien equivalent of a wolf-whistle and gets them all flattered and flustered
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