spider-at-law

[spider-at-law]

Huntsman spider with egg sac and emerging spiderlings, Heteropoda sp, Sparassidae

Photographed in Singapore by Nicky Bay // Website // Facebook

Shared with permission; do not remove credit or re-post!

[spider-at-law]

Phillip Keefe’s Leggy Furniture Joins Traditional Woodworking and Crawling Insects

[spider-at-law]

He does

@1morebone

Things going down in Jersy

[spider-at-law]

He scams grannies

@1morebone

Things going down in Jersy

[spider-at-law]

The Prince's Childe does not like Bryce

@1morebone

Things going down in Jersy

[spider-at-law]

@1morebone

Things going down in Jersy

[spider-at-law]

They do make useful body disposal when you don't have zombie making cousins.

Going to put that cover on next time I go buy supplies to dispose of a body.

[spider-at-law]

Why not ghoul a hog?

Going to put that cover on next time I go buy supplies to dispose of a body.

[spider-at-law]

Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.

Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.

On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.

You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.

Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.

And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.

And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.

[spider-at-law]

[A video of Vittorio being shoved into a washing machine. It’s sped up, but you know he was in there all day]

What an idiot.

[spider-at-law]

how to explain to non-americans that the better call saul ads aren’t exaggerated for comedic effect they are super normie

[spider-at-law]

Come Into My Parlour Duvet Cover // Altar&Orb

[spider-at-law]

True.

maybe they should learn something from mantises

It's as I always say, Cannibalism isn't sexy.

[spider-at-law]

It is if you're a preying mantis

It's as I always say, Cannibalism isn't sexy.

[spider-at-law]

I hurt like a bitch. But now I'm a bone spider. And that's pretty cool.

...

[Private]

if you ever need legal counsel

You know, i think the title 'the biter' should apply to Nero more than me. Comparing my score of biting vs his, his comes up greater.

And it fucking sucks every time!!

[spider-at-law]

I was quite the shock

and yeah. I know.

You know, i think the title 'the biter' should apply to Nero more than me. Comparing my score of biting vs his, his comes up greater.

And it fucking sucks every time!!

[spider-at-law]

Sounds good. I'll send over a contract

Do you take non-family clients?

I do. I am skilled in the laws of the fae, Kindred, and mortal law. I don't handle shifter law at all though.