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text 📲 spenzy

Dizzy: Is it too early to get excited about fall fashions? Because I'm sorry, I'm already thinking about all the cute boots I get to wear 😍

Spencer: i guess it's never too early to br excited about anything? i dont really get the hype though. but if you're happy then you're happy.

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: Good, because I'd rather keep you, but tell anyone I said that and I'll deny it. And if you still want to break stuff, let's do it together. I could use a fun evening of leaving wrecked shit in my path! And DUH! If she's actually important to you, then I want to know this girl! I'm your captain, after all.

Spencer: yeah whatever you know i won't say shit. you're a pretty good captain and whatever. and i'm always down for wrecking shit just for the hell of it anyway. okay I'll tell and try to set something up.

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: Ew, but understood. And before you "lose your shit" which, beeteedubs is NOT the threat you think it is, I'm 'ew'ing the love of it all, NOT the girl this time. But Spencey-Poo, if she's that important to you, why haven't I met her yet?

Spencer: I was trying to find a way to say I was pissed off and going to start breaking shit without threatening you because I'd rather stay being your pirate. I didn't think about introducing you guys to her. Would you want to meet her??

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: Two things, Spencey-Poo. First? You can't call someone "badass" just because you like them, DUH. People have to DO badass things to get that title, and I don't think your girl has ever done a single thing that's even close to qualifying. And no, before you ask, showing her face in public despite the horrifyingly high number of times her parents must've dropped her on the head doesn't count. At least you're street smart. You can't lie to me and tell me that she is too, unless you mean Sesame Street smart.

CJ: And second? Don't talk about me and Z as if you two could ever compare to the bond between a captain and her first mate. You'll NEVER understand what we have, especially not with a girl you barely know. Get real.

Spencer: With respect captain, if you keep talking about Hoku like that, I'm going to lose my shit. She's my fucking girlfriend whether you like it or not. She's not some random girl I'm banging or a girl I just fucking met. I KNOW her and I love her. So you're just going to have to respect that. Because she's my number fucking one.

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: The idiot bit is debatable, especially considering your weird obsession with this girl. I don't get what you think is "fucking amazing" about one of the dumbest people I've ever met but fine, whatever, if the sex is that good, just fuck her. You don't have to be pathetically at her beck and call as her "boyfriend" to get laid.

Spencer: because she's badass. she doesn't have to be booksmart because neither am i! so we're both apparently dumb as fuck and if that's the case then we're fucking perfect for each other. and it's not just the sex. whatever shit you feel with zevon it's like that deep level type shit. whatever the fuck it's called

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: They're all going to be your family tomorrow too, and the day after that, and the day after that. Family, annoyingly enough, is one of the only things we can't escape. That girlfriend of yours, though, will dump you if you don't give her enough attention, so take care of her now and deal with the family later.

CJ: Or else just dump her! Then you don't have to worry about who to spend more time with, it's the perfect solution, realy.

Spencer: I'm not an idiot. dumping hoku would be the stupidest thing i could do. she's fucking amazing. i guess we don't have to think about them being sent to the isle anymore. I'd much rather spend time with her anyway.

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text 💬 spenj

CJ: And WHY do you have to spend time with your mom or your dad? If you'd rather be with your precious whiny girlfriend then just ditch your lame-o family and go! It's not that hard. Despite your height, you ARE a grownup, Spency-Poo! AND a pirate! You can do whatever the fuck you want.

Spencer: because it's the first full free time since they're both home and my dad wanted "family" time. i fucking love my girlfriend and I would've spent the entire summer with her if i could. but fuck it whatever yeah I'm just going to sneak out tonight so i don't have to listen to my dad cry

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text 💬 spenj

Spencer: this is bullshit, i barely get to hang out with hoku and have to spend half the break listening to my mom talk about that loser all day. thank fuck my dad's here finally.a

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text 💬 spizzy

Izzy: Shit you should make sure no one ever says to me again: 'You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!'

Izzy: Thinking about G3 makes me want to VOMIT, next person who reminds me I spite-kissed him walks the PLANK.

Spencer: sure whatever, i got a punch in the face for the next person that says it. but why do you care just ignore the shit.

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text 💬 spenku

Hoku: You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you.

Hoku: Which like, don't get me wrong, I'm totes down to do in front of other people SOME so they remember that you're my super hot boyfriend and not theirs.

Hoku: Just like, lately just making out with you kind of isn't enough so doing it in the middle of a party might get mega-embarrassing if we get carried away, you know?

Spencer: so, does that mean you want to have sex then? because i'd be so down for that, but if that's not what you were saying then... next time want to just make out in private?

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text 💬 thunderbros

Emmett: your name in my phone is asshole.

Emmett: I thought mom would be pissed but she actually laughed.

Spencer: and your name in my phone is dickwad. dad helped me come up with it.

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what's something that you'd physically change about yourself if you could?

to be taller so @hokukawena could have hot and tall boyfriend. but whatever, anyone who tries to say anything, i'll punch them in the throat.

honesty hour!

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ETHAN CUTKOSKY for Vulkan Magazine photographed by Ted Sun (April 2021)

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How do you feel about losing Hoku at the basket auction?

It sucked that I lost. But it didn't matter anyway because @coltonslim let @hokukawena and I hang out anyway. she's the best girlfriend in the world and he's a cool guy

Ask my character “How do you feel about ______?”

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how do you feel about having a last name that sounds like a pokemon?

Pokemon are cool so I don't care.

Ask my character “How do you feel about ______?”

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your height

my height is my fucking height. what about it?

Ask my character “How do you feel about ______?”