spearmintcoffee

[spearmintcoffee]

i’m back! i’m just gonna do all of these to distract myself from eating

1. i’m 6′1, im over 250 unfortunately  2. answered my height, but yes i do like it, i wish i was taller though 3. i dont really have a thinspiration besides random pictures i find on here :/ 4. my greatest fear is that i’ll reach my ugw and then gain it all back and more like everyone tells me i will 5. i want to lose weight because i’m not healthy at all. i started binging when my dad died and it never stopped, i go in restrict/binge cycles and have since i was 11, my weight is so high its embarrassing so yes i’m doing it for me, i want to feel like people actually care about and desire me 6. answered in last 7. my family does know but they think i’m doing it healthily 8. i’m in a wheelchair :( so i don’t really have one 9. yeah growing up i hit 6′ at a super young age (like in elementary school) and it made my body bigger so everyone would call me fat even when i weighed barely over 100 lbs. it was terrible 10. honestly the hardest thing i’ve given up is  pizza. i still eat thin crust sometimes but man  i would kill to just be able to go to little caesars 11. again don’t have one 12. i eat eggs, rice cakes with jam, fruits/veggies (i like carrot, broccoli, blackberries, raspberries, oranges especially), shirataki noodles when i have them, sometimes cheese, and a lot of greek yogurt. that’s pretty much my daily rotation. 13. unhealthy definitely and it’s still not fast enough 14. my ugw is 130 and i honestly don’t know if i’ll ever reach it but i hope to reach it before i start college next september 15. yes im vegetarian! i’m not sure if it’s helped me lose weight though. 16, i’ve been suffering this since i was 11 years old xD 17, uh yeah??? 18, my ultimate weakness is enchiladas and tamales.... man they’re so good, also cheesecake 19. i eat fast food pretty regularly since my mom forces me to, i usually try to order low cal things and small sizes 20. i’m not sure i’m trying the frankie stein diet i saw someone post on here and so far it’s good 21. lmao for pants i’m a 22-24 and shirts XL-2X and it makes me wanna vomit 22. my lowest weight was 122, when i first got my ED, and i would literally give anything to go back to that. i gained for Trauma Reasosn. 23. definitely 24. i honestly don’t agree we should NOT promote eating disorders but i think giving people with eds a safe community is helpful as long as no one encourages it 25. nope 26. i just want to feel loved and admired and envied. i want to feel like i am worth love and not disgusting. 27. very badly. i am an impulsive eater so i have to literally stay out of the kitchen at all times 28. i honestly do but i don’t think i’ll ever get it 29. i think everyone is beautiful as long as they are kind and pure hearted 30. uhh not doing this one

[spearmintcoffee]

i am so angry at myself, i forgot to check the calories in this gf bread and ended up eating a meal that was 700-800 cals ... at 1am last night when we’re having pizza today for father’s day, which i can’t get out of or people will be suspicious. i somehow managed to weigh in at 1.3 lbs less than yesterday but i know im gonna fuck it up so bad today. im so worthless.

on the bright side as of this moment ive officially lost around 4-5 lbs in a week, so

[spearmintcoffee]

[spearmintcoffee]

[spearmintcoffee]

was talking to my mom today and she said i need to weigh around 190. NO ??? THATS OVERWEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT STILL ??/ she just wants me to be fat i stg

[spearmintcoffee]

my scale must be broken. i was so happy yesterday cuz i weighed in at 271, now it says im still 275. i am going to kill myself over this probably

[spearmintcoffee]

back on my bs, hey guys

[spearmintcoffee]

day 6:

i binge a lot i struggle with it so bad ughhh. i don’t know why i do. actually wait i do. it’s because i love food and that’s what got me into this mess in the First Place.

[spearmintcoffee]

it’s weird but i wanna be skinny so i can start an onlyfans lmao

[spearmintcoffee]

Me trying to count the calories but I’m bad at math

[spearmintcoffee]

[spearmintcoffee]

day 4 (missed yesterday lol)

i’m afraid i’ll gain it all back and more :( everyone told me i would..

day 5:

i wanna lose weight so i can a) be pretty and b) be an actress

[spearmintcoffee]

i was doing so good yesterday at 1am then i got high and i binged on cheesecake. i do’t even wanna know how many calories. i need to stop doing weed because that’s the only time i ever get hungry. but i use it for medical reasons and it’s the only thing that takes away my pain and anxiety. ugh

[spearmintcoffee]

🥀⛓

[spearmintcoffee]

i ate one egg and i now feel so full i feel nauseous, so?

[spearmintcoffee]

[spearmintcoffee]

day 3

im not a dude but im a butch lesbian and i really want to look exactly like dave gah*n here.... the tiny wrists and arms..... please...