sparkssystem

[sparkssystem]

'Cause people tend to not get the memo: People acting strangely in public is not a danger to you. Pacing, talking to themselves or something you can't see, laughing to themselves, stimming, twitching, ticcing, making "weird" noises--it doesn't fucking matter. They're not your personal freak show, they're not broken, they're not a murderer and they're definitely not going to be fucking helped by you calling the authorities or anyone else on em. These actions alone are not indicative of danger to you, as a random person on the street. Shut the fuck up and move on, leave disabled people alone.

[sparkssystem]

Us deciding we needed to call an ambulance meant we got past our actual anxiety in order to get to that point. We have social anxiety and medical trauma. Us saying "the last time I was in an ambulance, I was abused, and I know I will have to deal with the insurance from being in a country I'm not from, but I need an ambulance right now" meant that we were suffering for long enough at that point to tell ourselves it was all going to be ok and we should go to the hospital.

Now, the dispatcher I don't think even knew I was a foreigner at that point. She also REPEATEDLY kept asking to talk to me, that she needed my permission for my boyfriend to talk for me. No matter how much "they can barely speak or think properly" was said. We got the phone held up to our ear, managed to give some information, gave our boyfriend permission to speak for us because we were too busy having our face in a bag with the room spinning to have a conversation, and she got MAD at us for only saying like 2 sentences. Please explain to me how a regular person having an emergency is supposed to be able to talk on the phone normally? How does that work?

Not that it mattered anyway, cuz like Shrapnel said, "social anxiety" was understood as "I got a little injury and am having an anxiety attack about it". Speaking of the injury, it was a broken foot that we had been walking on for 3 days without assistance (due to the anxiety) and that was the breaking point of us probably permanently damaging it. We will most likely never be able to walk normally again and we now own a cane. In the end I guess the hospital wasn't super mega needed cuz we managed on our own but as far as we knew at that point it could have been an infection or a bone shard went somewhere it shouldn't have, and that wasn't anxiety, that was us trying to be smart about it and realize we needed help. But the help we asked for was denied and that hurt because we had to push through our trauma and anxiety to ask just to be told our trauma and anxiety was the problem and not the physical fact we were almost passing out from pain from a shattered bone in a completely black toe.

I wasn't even in front for this but I'm still so mad at the medical system. We called an ambulance for someone having a lot of issues (breathing difficulty, feeling like fainting, throwing up repeatedly, in excruciating pain, struggling to speak) because of pain from a physical injury and we got told by the dispatcher that this "isn't an emergency, I'm not sending an ambulance" and kept getting cut off while trying to explain. All because we made the mistake of answering honestly that they have anxiety when asked about the mental health condition history of the person.

Why the fuck does someone having anxiety mean that you're just going to discredit everything else? Why is this honestly a common thing for people to do? At least, when we went through school, if you had anxiety and went to the sick bay/nurses office for any other reason they assumed you were "just a bit anxious" and didn't actually take the time to listen to you. They sent us back to class with chronic migraines that have hospitalised us before because of how fucking little they care about mental health. We've had shit like that happen to us in hospitals too, they just treat you like you're being dramatic and you're a bother.

Who fucking CARES if someone has anxiety? Who cares if their physical symptoms might "just be an anxiety attack"? Who cares if you think they "don't really need help"? Even if someone is "just" having an anxiety attack, you're not fucking helping with the real physical and mental strain on that person by brushing them off for "just" an emotional issue. You're fucking cruel. And it's so fucking horrendous that the fucking medical system so often does this too--the people who you'd think would at least vaguely get it.

There's a special kind of pain when you grow up hearing "always call this number in an emergency to get help!" and "help is out there, go to this doctors office" and "help is just a phone call away" and you get hit with the reality that sometimes, even if what could help you is so fucking simple, you can't get it. Because the very system designed to help you is also designed to just take your fucking money, make you conform, and can just decide tell you to fuck off even in a crisis.

Don't discredit anyone's pain because of a fucking diagnosis they have. It doesn't matter what diagnosis, if someone is in pain, LISTEN.

[sparkssystem]

We're disconcerted by the assertion that stances on endogenics is a purely online thing.

Like yeah, for the most part, people in the offline world either don't care or aren't interested.

But we endogenics LIVE in the external world. A lot of us are openly plural in the external world. We are - our friends, family, coworkers, all know we're plural - because being (relatively quietly but unashamedly) overt is what's best for our day to day mental health.

And anti-endogenic stances hurt us in the external world. They literally nearly got us Crew forcibly institutionalized. Our ex tried for over half a year, with the court system involved and everything. We've lost so many friends from back then who refused to listen and understand.

We want to go through the foster to adopt program in the future, and we're prepared to have to defend our plurality in order to be approved for the program. If endogenic plurality was widely accepted that wouldn't be necessary.

This affects our rights. Our healthcare. Our very freedom.

Maybe if you're a covert system that's anti-endo, maybe it's easy to assume that this is an online only thing.

But it's really not.

[sparkssystem]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[sparkssystem]

Dude, the story has killed 6 of my favorite characters in the last few writing sessions. The story needs to let me write it, because the twist villain that I DID NOT SEE COMING is going on a murder spree. Please, please let me control how the story goes, you can't just keep killing people. What the hell are you doing? Where is this going? What is even happening?

"you're the writer, you control how the story goes" no not really. i wrote the first sentence and then my characters said "WE WILL TAKE IT FROM HERE" and promptly swerved into an electrical fence.

[sparkssystem]

I don't have anyone to tag though, so whoever wants to add on can.

Everyone post a random picture from your gallery,this is a tag game yes

@fymo-blogs @the-real-gmail @totally-china @dhampirdreamerz @france-unofficial

[sparkssystem]

Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool

i am going to eat my own entire skin

[sparkssystem]

Exotrauma

Having exotrauma from a "cringe" or "silly" source sucks. It feels like you're taken infinitely less seriously than those who have trauma from grittier, adult-geared and/or "acceptable" sources. Which in and of itself just isolates you and makes it worse.

I'm not just a silly little thing from your silly little Roblox game that could never show signs of trauma because it's 'just a kids game'--and I'm not your blorbo either. It feels like there's 2 common options for how people treat fictionkind with exotrauma:

Oh my poor little scrunkly, my little cardboard box meow meow.... Going to hold you because I love babying you and treating you like you're not even a person because I see you only as my favourite character. (Mind you, this is distinctly SEPARATE from actual friendly support, you can tell the difference.)

You're not a fictional character, get over it lmao. Yeah I know you are them but like you didn't ACTUALLY live through that, stop claiming it, it's disrespectful. Why are you upset at my memes about your death lol. Get a life.

So like... Maybe fictionkind are people. Maybe I don't want to think about the worse parts of my source. Maybe I don't want my trauma shoved in my face as a little funny joke, even if the context is changed. Maybe, just maybe... Leave alterhumans with fictional sources alone. Even if their source is lighthearted, even if it's for kids, even if it's the most "cringe" media you can think of.

Sonic the Hedgehog might've seemed fine in-source but maybe he's fucked up from all that he's been through. That warrior cat alterhuman isn't just being edgy, maybe they're suffering from the memories of fighting to survive day in and day out. Bluey is allowed to be not okay, and their source shouldn't dictate their experiences. Do you ever think that some Pokemon or trainers don't have amazing, adventurous lives travelling around with their best friends? Mario might have nightmares and flashbacks from his source. Mickey Mouse is allowed to be hurt, and allowed to express that. That MLP alterhuman isn't always going to be just a happy colourful magic pony with no issues whatsoever.

We are PEOPLE, and our sources being "happy", "for kids", "light-hearted", "fun" or anything of the sort should NOT dictate how we are treated here, what our experiences are "allowed" to be, or how we are expected to act. Treat fictionkind--of all sorts--like PEOPLE.

[sparkssystem]

Reblog with your score

[sparkssystem]

Sorry you came onto my boyfriend's personal experience post and claimed it was potentially harmful advice when it was not advice in the slightest and had dozens of disabled people agreeing with their own experiences. Sorry you haven't developed reading comprehension and felt the need to misconstrue everything we've both said (like nowhere did I say that hallucinations aren't harmful) and are now playing the victim in the drama that you started with your unnecessary comment on a personal positivity post. Sorry your brain seems to be in the minority of how it handles hallucinations, I honestly didn't know that minority was possible because all the research I've seen says acknowledging hallucinations/intrusive thoughts makes them easier to deal with (also, I kind of want to say maybe your therapist isn't great? But maybe I'm jumping a bit, I just know a loooot of therapists are actually judgmental pricks that have really really bad advice, none of ours have done more good than harm and that unfortunately seems to be the norm, the wording you used of "power" just seems rooted in that mindset). I assumed you were an non-psychotic telling psychotics to "watch out for the horrible hallucinations!!" because that's what the majority of non-psychotics say and you had NOTHING pointing to you not being one of them. It's not fakeclaiming you if you never claimed to have the experience in the first place. It read like an abled person telling disabled people to not "live in their delusions", which is really shitty, so I responded accordingly.

But, I understand you're 14. We were all 14 once, I know I was a regular stupid 14 year old always picking fights. So no hard feelings! But an apology to my boyfriend would be nice.

Honestly, talking to our hallucinations is hilarious.

There's a weird figure in the dark? Dude, get off of my lawn. Go home.

We see a cat for a split second but it was never there? There goes the extradimensional cat, that's a good kitty.

We see bugs that aren't real? Besties you really gotta start paying rent to be in here!

There's weird figures darting around the corners of our vision, never clear enough to be seen? Sorry we looked at you, I totally get social anxiety!

It makes it seem less serious and lets less room for fear to creep in, because when we get afraid is really when it gets bad. "Why are you talking to yourself?" So I don't go insane actually. Deal with it.

[sparkssystem]

Tell me you don't have hallucinations without telling me you don't have hallucinations. "More power", what are you on about? You're giving them LESS power by turning them into a joke. They're no longer scary, they're just annoyances or even your friends.

Did you know it's been proven that hallucinations being "harmful" is caused by society's view on what hallucinations are? You think they're scary, so when you get them, they're scary. Places without that much media or negative connotations actually report that their hallucinations more often tell them to take care of themselves. Taking the fear out of the symptom makes it overall better.

Honestly, talking to our hallucinations is hilarious.

There's a weird figure in the dark? Dude, get off of my lawn. Go home.

We see a cat for a split second but it was never there? There goes the extradimensional cat, that's a good kitty.

We see bugs that aren't real? Besties you really gotta start paying rent to be in here!

There's weird figures darting around the corners of our vision, never clear enough to be seen? Sorry we looked at you, I totally get social anxiety!

It makes it seem less serious and lets less room for fear to creep in, because when we get afraid is really when it gets bad. "Why are you talking to yourself?" So I don't go insane actually. Deal with it.

[sparkssystem]

Art Fight attack for @sparkssystem-art of their headmate, Nova. Heard you like disasters, and heard you have a phantom ruby. So my finger slipped.

[THIS IS A GIFT, DO NOT USE UNLESS YOU ARE THE INTENDED RECIPIENT]

Please do not use our art without our permission. Feel free to ask to use for icons and similar things, but we have the right to say no.

Program: Firealpaca Approx. Time: 40m Original Date: 13.07.24 Commission/Trade/Collab status in bio/pinned! Art Of: Nova [Headmate, SparksSystem] (System Member Artist: Cinnabar)

[sparkssystem]

HIYA!!! i gave super duper CRUSH on my sysmate which is adult, and im a minor??? (Were BODILY ADULT BTW IF IT MATTERS) AND DGEHRHHT i love him SOSOSOSO MUCH. and i think they love me too, but they feel guilty for that. sososo.... can sysmate adult/minor relationships be okay? like I LOVE THEM ITS MY INITIATIVE AHHSHDHDBBBBBB

sorry if it does sound weird im chaotic by nature srs

[Mod note: So long as everything is consensual, that's all that matters! In our personal opinion, as soon as you get into the realms of plurality and people sharing a brain and body, things are bound to get weird and messy and fall outside the realm of traditional meatspace morals & ethics. We ourselves have a family whose family tree is, in the most literal terms possible, a circle, so wethinks we'd be a little bit of a hypocrite to police others' relationships for being 'outside the norm' when we ourselves frequently fall way beyond it, most often completely unintentionally and only recognizable with some scrutiny.

Additional: We will make sure to tag relationships with these kinds of circumstances with things such as #tw age gap [mention], #tw incest [mention], etc to avoid inadvertently triggering anyone since we know these are sensitive topics for a lot of people, and we'll also always add #ask to tag in case there's something we missed!]

[sparkssystem]

“Everything is ableism these days”

Have you considered the fact that disabled people seeing ableism in every day language and life says more about society and its culture/history than it does about disabled people as a whole?

[sparkssystem]

the system experience

>type did system into youtube search bar

>first option is "did system cringe"

>go onto reddit and type did system

>first option is fake disorder cringe

>feel fucking awful

>do a did presentation in medical class

>someone raises their hand and asks how to know if someones faking

>feel fucking awful

>tell someone you have did

>they ask if you're faking because you have a fictive

>feel fucking awful

>feel fucking awful

>feel fucking awful

>tell a close friend you have did

>they get disgusted when you say we instead of I

>look at tiktok compilations

>did cringe compilation

>follow a funny youtuber

>video on people faking did

>feel fucking awful

>try and look for resources

>psychiatrist making a presentation on how did systems looking for community is a sign of faking, uses system content without their consent

>psychiatrist making a presentation on how did systems being open is a sign of faking

>go onto tumblr

>type plural

>find post about how "the future is plural" is traumatizing children and should never ever ever happen because fuck plurals we don't need acceptance that bad right?

oh my god when does it fucking end

[sparkssystem]

Wow, posting about me on main? That's so gay of you.

Get yourself a partner who loves your nonhuman features and will give you nice chin scritches, appreciate all of your floof, and understand that head bonks mean you want to be pet.

[sparkssystem]

My favourite part about the post breaking containment is this person who called us adorable and cute. Thank you, we are!

Seriously though, it's annoying how many people think that they know what the post was about and add on writing inspirations or complain that "just because animals do them doesn't make them nonhuman when we do them". We know a few of these things are still human things when YOU do them, humans reblogging this with criticism, but they're nonhuman things when WE do them because of the context they're being done in.

Nonhuman expressions of affection are great. Purring. Exposing weak points as a show of trust. Head bonks. Preening and chewing. Nuzzling. Biting. Intertwining tails. Feeding each other. Little chuffs, chatters, beeps and squeaks. Fluffing up of feathers, fur or other things. Dancing to impress. Cleaning their fur, scales, feathers or skin. Sharing body heat. Ears pointing toward those you care about to show your full attention is on them. Slow blinking.