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Me when I eat 2 batteries

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Tattle ♠️ tares

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The way he was defeated was also very cool! And very appropriate because it's a squirrel defeating an acorn, and a racist working on behalf of Charles

Pale has so many hype moments that I will never be able to explain to anyone.

Like, how tf do I tell people how awesome Sir Percival Awarnach of 99 Titles actually is?

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reblog to give Kenzie Martin a loaded handgun and a 40

️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️

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Wildbow Antagonists Ranked By How Good They Are At Basketball

11. Barbatorem. Carries scissors at all times and therefore not allowed to run.

10. Goddess/Teacher/Amy Dallon. I don’t believe the antagonists of Ward can play basketball.

9. Davie Cavalcanti/Laird Behaim. Both ordinary middle-aged men with a square build who were killed by complete physical wrecks on their last legs. I don’t care if they were driven by rage and adrenaline if you lose a fight to Blake Thorburn or Natalie Teale you’re not winning a basketball game.

8. Charles Abrams. Undernourished and ill as a mortal man; the only time we see him act physically as the Carmine Exile he wrestles a large centipede to a draw. Unclear whether this is impressive.

7. Genevieve Fray. Huge fan of performance-enhancing drugs. Will quickly pick up the game due to her melted and malleable brain. Undermined by only working out at the library.

6. Jack Slash. Just some guy, but in good shape from running away all the time. Does enjoy games; quick reflexes.

5. Abraham Musser. In good shape, can do magic, and they do usually have basketball courts at posh European boarding schools. Still kind of a loser but easily beats out Jack.

4. Coil. Famously seven and a half feet tall.

3. Conquest. Extremely imposing on the court but not a team player. I can’t imagine him jumping for rebounds or running back in defense. Likely crumbles against strong opposition but large and in charge enough that he could defeat any mundane team by himself.

2. The Infante. The tallest and most physically powerful character on the list. Knows how to lead a team. The tentacles undoubtedly act to extend his range and options on the court. People don’t know this but he used to take his large son Augustus to basketball practice when he was younger.

1. Scion

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not my worm ass turning

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Your honour I am one millimeter tall

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Maybe don't give the moths fire without some precautions though

Ok I believe in minimizing insect suffering in a way you wouldn't understand.. I empathize with every insect on a personal level.. I want to maximise insect dignity and joy...

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Checking out Mein Kampf but shaking my head the whole time so the librarians know I disagree

newbie asked if we're supposed to look out for 'red flags' in interlibrary loan requests in reference to a request a patron had made for a book about cannibalism. she was looking expectantly at me like she was expecting me to be equally aghast at this........girl why would you work at a library if you want to play book police

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Jerry pretends to be an experiment when his girlfriend says she finds them interesting. George sells a sample of his genes to a doctor for a quick buck, but the resulting George clone turns out to be wildly more successful than him. Elaine gets offered her black coat, but fumbles it when a joke she makes is misinterpreted as being at the local Baron's expense. Kramer's pet warbeast escapes, killing dozens in the ensuing mayhem before it can finally be put down

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(By Stray Feathers, who apparently doesn't have a tumblr account)

Link to the original post below

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curses you with the curse that makes you and your children and your children's children and everyone that comes after you be doomed to be widowed ten times each and every loss is more fucking horrible than the last. and you have to fuck a million anthills to get rid of it. by the way.

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More choice quotes:

I love Pale

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Rereading some Amy chapters, her powers seem to work too slow for that sort of thing

Could Amy pull a Mercymorn and explode somebody's abdomen? Seems like a more directly offensive use of her power than we ever saw

And/or, could Mercymorn (or a suitable fleshmancer) Wretch somebody while keeping them alive?

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Also the sheer sarcasm in Lucy's narration 👌

I love Pale

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I love Pale

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You can't even kill a noble anymore, woe to duke