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In progress ~ Walking Cerberus With October around the corner, it's time to unleash the spooky. I love this time of the year - my friends actually tolerate my obsession with the so called grim and dark and dreary. Cerberus though, I hold, is a good dog and an adorable puppy. I've always wanted to see poor Grim having to deal with hells beloved pooch - Cerberus being a rambunctious pup just makes it all better. . . . #wip #cerberus #doodlepuppy #grim #grimreaperart #artinprogress #originalart https://www.instagram.com/p/B2hioVwBDbD/?igshid=gfl9ogyg4bj0

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.Yearning turned flames into beast afire, .Manifestation of the sun’s greatest desire, .To be with the moon, .She who to love was immune. . . . . #moon #wolf #fire #art #instaart #ink #penandink #igpoem #artistsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/BtwUQzRHEaX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1tphnu1frg69d

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Letters Forever Unsent #1

~On Cooking

Dear mom,

There was never a time in my life that I didn’t love coming back to the veritable feasts you always put in front of us, even though it took me a long time to properly appreciate them. 

That said though, I still remember very clearly the day I decided I did not want to learn how to cook from you. It was like any other normal day. We were with you in the kitchen, me sitting there and watching you and grandma bustling around getting lunch cooked. You were making biriyani following your own secret recipe. 

I don’t remember how but the conversation turned to how I should be learning how to cook. After all, you could cook full course meals by the time you were 16. Which was amazing to me. What wasn’t though, was the fact that you told me to learn cooking because I’d have to one day feed my husband. Who would marry a girl who didn’t even know how to make a good cup of tea? 

It made me swear off cooking. If knowing how to cook was a way to get married well, I decided I’d be better off not knowing anything about it.

It was probably a pretty childish decision but I stuck with that for years. I hated the correlation and that blinded me to any other way of looking at it. 

And then, years later I ended up away from you at college. Mess food was a trial. I realised pretty soon that breakfast wasn’t going to be something I could eat because you were the only one who could ever get the taste quite right. I lasted about half a year before opting to survive on instant noodles instead.

It was only after 2 years that I met a friend who encouraged my insanity in all ways. We decided enough was enough. It was time to look up a recipe and make something edible because, after all, how long would we survive on mess food? And so we got pasta and vegetables and eggs. Being the spoilt brats we were, we didn’t even know how to crack eggs and kept failing miserably. But still, we kept going.

It was then that I began to see what cooking was. The fun of putting together different condiments and vegetables, the science of getting things to come together just right and the experience of making food for yourself and people you love. 

Looking back, my favourite memories include the meals we made together in our rooms. However simple it was, it tasted of love. That year we began a tradition of cooking Christmas dinner and making dessert. Something that came straight from all the family meals we had together while I was growing up. 

It was only then that I properly began to appreciate the magic of every meal you put in front of us. The love that went into actually making it from scratch and making sure there was always a variety in what you gave us. It was only then that I realised that cooking was so much more than just a skill to show off, but a way to properly get across to someone else how much they mattered to you. Even if you were the someone else.

I do regret not learning how to cook from you. However, like a lot of things, I’m glad I didn’t just give in and do what you wanted back then and become one of those girls who knew how to brew the perfect cup of coffee.

For back then, I would have gone into it with no appreciation of what I was doing. And that would’ve been a mockery of the magic you created, and continue to create. 

Thank you for letting me come to terms with it and not forcing me into learning, no matter what other girls my age were doing. And for never comparing me with my brother who did learn how to cook back then.

For now, learning from you doesn’t fill me with a fear that the only reason you’d teach me is to one day send me off. 

Yours,

An immature child who is growing up a little

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It was clear to see - snapped open fan or not - she was amused by this new happening. . . . . https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqpz-iVnQKT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gojhukipvul

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🌿 Dear future me, this is a reminder how to handle yourself. I hope these help:

don’t let yourself be idle for so many hours, there’s a big tendency you’ll overthink and it will lead to crying

if you ever feel so down, remember there are days when you are at rock bottom but you survived them all alone.

don’t sleep too much. i know what you’re trying to escape and sleeping all day is not the best option to get rid of that.

your body is okay. your face is okay. your height is okay. your appearance is okay

refrain from comparing yourself negatively to whatever advantages you see from the others. you are as blessed as they are.

if you feel like there’s no one who cares for you, just pray. because you’re really not alone.

your old self is proud of you; of what you have accomplished, of what you have done to remain living. especially the little things, you are very much appreciated.

do what you can do. and if you fail, then don’t blame yourself. there are things not meant for you even if you think your life will be better with them.

stay humble and share your blessings. you tend to be more motivated when you help others and you hear them say thank you.

allow yourself to calm down, it helps you release the tension and anxiety.

if you want something, wait for days, months, years before you decide that you really want them. you make bad decisions because you tend to be so caught up in the moment.

it’s alright to feel bad, to feel like you’re not doing enough. but don’t let the bad thoughts stay. try to write them down and talk about it with someone you trust. you’ll feel better.

there are so many things but here’s what you should never forget: I will always love you no matter what.

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I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH… BUT TAN WINS HANDS DOWN

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Creepiest thing ever. But also, like, story of my first week in college.

Somehow, everyone knew my name. I used to go up to people, say “Hi, I’m asjkdhsak”, and promptly get hit with a “Oh, so you’re asjkdhsak”

And then we had an meeting with a senior where he called out everyone’s name except for mine because he already knew it.

It creeped me out for so long. It still creeps me out. Like, why even

a person i’ve never met before in my life: *greets me by name*

me:

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The first time Kraken crossed realities, it was in search of the moon . https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp2NaxqHju3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bqzi92cyxocg

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~ Better off with the blindfold on ~ . . . . . . . #art #instaart #mixedmedia #glitterart #blindfolded https://www.instagram.com/p/BprxYWyniZl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fisa8w6v7lcf

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~Bloom~ . . . . . #art #instaart #stippling #mixedmedia #glitterart #acrylicandink https://www.instagram.com/p/BprwdDQH2lY/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11xnfdr71siv

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I’ve got my pocket full of regrets,

and when it gets

to heavy to bear

I cease to care

about the sun and the stars,

about Venus and Mars,

but I’ve got my pocket full of regrets,

oh how heavy it gets…

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An Intro Thingy

So, I believe this is just going to be working like a diary. I like thinking I’m a nice introverted person. But that’s not really something that helps me get away from the constant need for acknowledgement. And this is therefore my way into the world while not leaving my shell. Which is not to say I don’t leave my shell. I have multiple shells. Which I might talk about. Or not.

In short, this a diary thingy. Thanks. Byes