somethingtocarry

[somethingtocarry]

holy crap, it’s 2016 guys! i know this wasn’t exactly posted on new years eve or day, but i just wanted to get this up while i have some time actually available to me to get stuff done.

i can’t believe i’ve had jake for what is near a year, in april this blog will be a year old, and i love all the growth i have had on here with this muse and as a writer. in light of all this, i want to take a moment to thank every follower i have — both those who are new and those who’ve been with me for a long ass time. it means the world to me to have your support day in and day out, no matter my bouts of inactivity; somehow how even with periods like two months of nothing, i have so many of you still here and that milestone! i don’t know how i managed it, tbh…

and now, i want to provide you a list of some of the amazing people i write with, follow and admire. this list isn’t really in any particular order and i probs misssed a few:

@toxichourglass / @flamereforged.  @inaxflash.  @corruptwithin / @dutytorn / @citysnark.  @abovcgod.  @desertborne.  @lunarpelted.  @lamourhaine.  @ohfiendangelical.  @expireydate.  @winterrosx.  @luckdoubt / @streetspeakin.  @piiiety.  @combatsituation / @scottiish.  @lcgique.  @fbihound.  @damnsella / @calledwhiskey.  @xaedificare.  @whosaysthatimnot.  @somethingtocarry / @lookingforstatic.  @culebraed.  @dusksided.  @landspeeding.  @torturedmemory.  @traiitxr.  @italianstalllion.  @hellboundcat / @codenamemockingbird.  @worstorder.  @leslce.  @antagxnized.  @grishildr.  @skjoldmoy.  @skailegend.  @notamonstxr.  @idleprayer.  @niightnurse. @tokillabarton.  @deathrowpreacher.  @miczariel.  @praesaga.  @profanemouth.  @burntdownrome.  @timmgutterson.  @biirdbone.  @traumeriin.  @unseenmockingjay.  @prcwler.  @whxwashe.  @gwenuinely.  @svikinnar.  @heroforhollywood.  @toshootfirst.  @youmaythinkyouknowme.  @ghostsandgin.  @spectersandscotch.  @talentforlying.  @animakerma.

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    ellie stops herself from saying or doing anything else so she can unscramble will’s growl. was it aimed at her - ? the conclusion she reaches after some length is it wasn’t. ‘ cage ‘ had been the ostensible charge to splinter his silence. he must have understood.

    “ took the words out of my mouth, “ she says in a sunny tone designed to temper the moment. “ … - it can get pretty fuckin’ intense out here, but i like it better than i did in there. prob’ly has something to do with the company. “

     The wolf agreed. Turning its head, it flicked its ears a couple times before settling. Company helped to alleviate the suffering, loneliness, and hardship. Company was rarely welcomed for the wolf, but with her, it wasn’t bad. Exhaling, its large tail lazily thumped against the ground.

[somethingtocarry]

[somethingtocarry]

» bleeding heels

     It weaved between shadows, caressing its darkest shades as it moved. The uniformity of its color was what drew his eyes, pupils dilated from the natural darkness. Strips of moonlight helped ease the difficulty of his venture, but the night was still a dangerous time to wander with its lack of visibility.

     Slowing down to a stop, Miles scanned his surroundings. Infected, he was getting used to. Humans, he found, were rather noisy when the rest of the world became quiet. He didn’t consider himself any expert in stealth, but every time he stepped out here and explored, he was becoming that much more used to its changes in sound, temperature, and overall atmosphere. Sometimes it disturbed him; to be scared of what lay under his skin was nothing like being scared of nature and its fearsome power. 

     Shifting his hold to cradle the shotgun in both hands — oh fuck, the weight made his shoulder throb — Miles looked about for that dark mass between the shrubs and trees. Listening almost to the point of being painful, he finally heard it. The long exhale from deep lungs. Then came the eyes, a roll of hot amber peering from the shadows. 

     Miles leveled the barrel at the… whatever it was, and waited. His left arm trembled, muscles straining to keep the position. He forced himself to keep the gun straight, tugging it back up when he felt the tip dipping down. 

     It wasn’t clear what was staring at him. The height of its eyes were low, but that didn’t mean a damn thing. For all he knew, it was crouching down. If he was staring at something of massive volume, a shotgun wasn’t going to help him. He didn’t think he even had the energy to run. He could be wrong, the threat of imminent death did wonders, but all his efforts were focused just on holding his weapon steady. 

     True to form, those eyes shifted up, nearly coming square to his. Miles knew even if he tried, he wasn’t going to win a fight like this if it came down to one. “Christ…” 

     Left arm shaking, he couldn’t keep it up anymore and lowered his one defense. The creature, beast, whatever it was took its time revealing itself, slipping out of the darkness into the light. 

     “Oh fuck—” He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but a giant black wolf wasn’t it. Its massive body was swathed in muscle, stretching and coiling with every step forward. Its head was held low, but Miles felt so much smaller. That large mouth could wrap around his leg and bite it clean off. 

     Keeping still, the hairs on the backs of his arms and neck stood on end. A chill unrelated to the biting winter weather froze the blood in his veins as fear locked his joints. Run, don’t run. Run, don’t run. Infected and humans suddenly seemed so easy. The Walrider, which stirred in his head, watched through his eyes with rapt attention. 

     Don’t move. The wolf diverted its path, choosing to circle him. Soft puffs of white played in the air as it breathed, sampling his scent — maybe trying to figure out if he tasted like chicken, for all he knew. Still, Miles remained in his spot, his own movements only to keep the beast in his periphery. 

     Coming full circle, the wolf paused, its large paws silently pressing down on the snow. How the hell it didn’t make a sound, he didn’t know. This thing could kill him without him even knowing it was there. 

     Miles met its gaze with difficulty, fighting against the crackle in the back of his head as the wolf’s stare bore deep into him. It weighed him, judged him, and with a low huff, dismissed him. Miles hesitated, the muscles in his back cinched so tight it hurt. As those golden eyes met his, a low open warning woven into its gaze. 

     “Alright… Got it. Shit, thanks for not eating me.” 

     He shifted holds on the shotgun, strapping it. He angled to the side, not willing to give the wolf his back as he retreated. He could’ve sworn as he was leaving the beast was once again casting judgment, but he didn’t stick around to figure out what the verdict was. Time to go home. 

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    “ hey, don’t whine. it’s okay. i’m not there now. “

    “ … - ‘ there ‘ being a quarantine zone. that’s where i grew up. have you seen any - ? a living one, at least… - the dead ones just look like rubble, “ she rests her right hand on her knee, tapping her thumb to an obscure rhythm. “ working zones are like big cement cages. “

     A soft growl rolled up from the back of its throat. Cages, chains, dripping with hatred behind a net of bars as an unjust verdict is hammered and sealed. The wolf didn’t cages, didn’t want her to ever be constricted to one again.

     ---always free.

[somethingtocarry]

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    “ i’m gonna take that as a yes. it is nice here… - did you know i’ve never been outdoors-outdoorsuntil this year? then again, i guess you wouldn’t, huh - ? “

     The eye nearest opened and angled up to look at her. It loved the wild. On all fours --- on all twos --- the open air of the wilderness was refreshing. Freeing. No restrictions, no rules, no human complications that never made any sense. To be without it... and she was how old? 

     The wolf softly whined. It would suffer --- had suffered for many years --- without truly knowing the outside. She must’ve suffered too.

[somethingtocarry]

anacceptablecasualty

    “ … – should’ve listened to the girl. “

     ---girl... ellie?

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    the burst of warmth against her knee locks her muscles; energy hums nervously underneath her cool skin, bridling to launch her away to safety at the first hint of danger. she comes out of it with shoulders that gingerly slacken and a sigh. trust has become three times as difficult for ellie. animals, she’s found over the spell of her travels, are easier to open herself up to than humans; moreover, they’re better company than them largely of the time.

    “ … - hey there, “ she tweaks a small smile, looking over at will. “ comfy - ? “

     Light played off amber eyes, lending a warm, gentle expression. Ear flicking, the wolf’s eyes closed. Comfy? Yes, it was. Even as danger was but a short trot away --- like the song, but without the hills --- it was peaceful and Ellie’s presence was a nice comfort.

[somethingtocarry]

anacceptablecasualty

    “ … – i step onto a crossroads without knowing? “

     ---it’s snow.

[somethingtocarry]

@anacceptablecasualty

     ---...

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    will lying down an arm’s reach from her stirs a watery nervousness in her stomach. a decent aisle of space between them and standing up were zones of illusory safety. he’s massive, faster, and can rend her within seconds. she worries her bottom lip. here goes nothing… ellie lowers onto one knee, stalls from furthering it, and then sits cross-legged atop gnarled roots.

    it’s a leap of unsteady faith that, if she correctly understands, he himself has done already for her.

     It could see her moving out of the corner of its eye, a small, frail thing, and waited for her to situate herself. Seeing her come to terms with sitting so close, the wolf laid its head down near her knee, a small puff of warm air hitting her jeans as it exhaled.

[somethingtocarry]

[somethingtocarry]

[somethingtocarry]

[somethingtocarry]

whosaysthatimnot

    the baying of wolves has been a noise heard at a distance until now. it sounds different close up; a lot different, especially when abrupt. from underneath one of the flanking trees, entirety of her body aglow in a shaft of pale light, ellie surveys will.

    “ you okay over there… - ? “

    the forest hums an echo of his song that grows softer every passing second. open fields and long, twisting roads; rolling hills and sprawling forests densely overgrown. she thinks of it all, everywhere she’s been and all of the places she wants to see, and the suddenness sweetly aches. strange.

     The wolf shook snow from its fur. Turning to Ellie, it snorted and eased back to her side. Nothing was wrong. The world was quieter here. Tamer. Even with its infected, the threat was simple. 

     ---yes. 

     Easing forward, the wolf found a decent spot to settle and sat. It huffed again, maw opening slightly to taste the clean air. So different... yet so welcomed.

[somethingtocarry]