solslifeis - Tumblr blog

[solslifeis]

gilded age met gala happening while the supreme court overturns roe v wade. fuck

[solslifeis]

[solslifeis]

[solslifeis]

YOU hates terfs

[solslifeis]

made an outfit meme for fun =] feel free to use

[solslifeis]

Upon request someone asked for an anatomy tutorial! I kept it fairly general but if anyone wants something more specific, I’m happy to make a more of them :D

[solslifeis]

WHO MADE THIS? 🎃

[solslifeis]

Been working on something fun for me.

[solslifeis]

Episode 0 : 平和な夏の動き

It’s a rainy evening in Tokyo. 

Unlike most other districts, SUGINAMI-KU is relatively quiet as always. A home away from home.The Party has ended most of their daytime activities, their alternate lives if they have one - involve a time-clock. They’ve collected their meager payments and paid their utilities and have entered the streets of the Tokyo Mega to indulge in their vices, see friends, and make much more Won than the next guy but they always come here, like other wayward souls before they dive into the endless depths of Tokyo, to decompress.

A Human. Two Synths and an infamously wealthy Wormer relax at Nakahara Peace Garden, an out of the way eatery and public onsen after 10pm, eating their fill of ramen and Soy based Duck and Tofu and relaxing in the warm baths that they previously had all to themselves until the door opens. Three women garbed in traditional kimono - monochromatic gold, red, and black - entered into the establishment and quietly ordered food and drinks not too far from the table possessing our party. Sef -the human and the only flesh and blood local at the table- thought they looked to be suspicious. Suginami-Ku was a more traditionalist district with the disdain for technology and the general technophobia present could speak volumes for any local trying to tote cybernetics around proudly. The Wormer, Ard, was purely a tourist and hadn’t seen nor heard of such garb before, nor did the shorter synth who went by his “free name” of Lumos. Only the more stoic of the group, the janitorial worker synth named Haru understood that these women were either going to or coming from a Yamaguchi-Gumi related induction ceremony. Time passes and our party gets to know one another a little better. Sef is a rising member of the Izumi-kai as a Scoundrel, a gutterpunk bosuzoku, a Japanese Motorgang who specialize in winning illegal street races. Haru is an isolationist, in theory and practice but he is obviously a synth with a sword. He keeps mostly to himself and is very observant. Lumos, the other synth of the group, is older than Haru by decades and frequently calls out the younger synth for being ‘a baby’. Lumos specializes in Street Medicine as a Doc. The tallest member of the table is Ard Hana, a respectable Wormer from off-world and apparently Sef’s proof that alien life does indeed exist. He is just vacationing after leaving his occupation of fifty years on this ball of a planet called Earth, and loving it so far. As a Wormer on the planet, being able to exist as a tourist, Ard Hana is the most wealthy Wormer on the island. 

The three women leave. Another rowdy cadre walks in and forces their way right through the group of formal women who all give a glare to the raucous individual who bogarted past them. This individual looks far too young to order any type of alcohol and resists the hostess’ instructions for him to leave with a simple black card printed with a Dragon on the facing side. The card is a physical credit card, with probably a large amount of won on it already. This card would be the target for Sef who, with the careful eye of Haru, deduces that the loud and obnoxious young man belongs to the Konami Kids, a sub-sect of the Konbawa Kids. A gang that is much smaller than the others and much younger too but mysteriously just as intimidating. They specialize in assassination and the Konami Kids have a working relationship with the Izumi-Kai as coordinators for illegal street racing events.  Sef proceeds to make merry and steal the card for himself but not before the Konami Kid, identified as Chojiro (Choji) imparts Sef with a flash tattoo on the palm of his hand before leaving as abruptly as he came in with a mass of gathered friends and associates. Claiming to be going to where the real fun is starting.  Upon closer inspection of the card Sef sees that it is unmarked and contains no identifiers other than the ornate design that has been laser cut into the surface of the card. A Dragon curling around it’s pearl. The Pearl seems to be a separate piece and made of the same metallic material as the digital strip used to fulfill transactions. Sef decides to take the card with the group to a more quiet place in order to get to the bottom of this card and fish out that datachip masquerading as the pearl. Upon exiting the eatery the group sees the retreating Choji party is being followed by four mysterious men in black and while debating if they should alert Choji or not the group of teens are sprayed with silenced automatic gunfire. Our Cyberpunks spring to action and run to attempt to save whomever was still breathing as the four armed gunmen begin searching the bodies. They were quick work for our seasoned veterans of the violent underworld humanity had to offer. During the fight, Haru outed himself as a former Yakuza Assassin and Bodyguard, being branded a Ronin by one of the members of the kill squad who focused onto the sword wielding man with his uzi. For naught as Haru swiftly demonstrated his skill with the katana by executing his assailant. The tussle in the street was very short lived and Choji wouldn’t make it through two rounds of questioning by Sef as he lay dying in a pool of his own blood. Imparting that he was only passing along a message by giving Sef that tattoo and then whispering for Sef to go get scanned. Sef removes Choji’s hand - the one that flash tattooed him as it was discovered that it was a custom cybernetic augmentation but the group didn’t do more than scavenge some silencer attachments and the supposed payment to the kill squad by what appears to be the Wazinami Gang. Forgoing the Izakaya Sef opts for a Love Hotel which he gains entry into for free, allowing the group to recuperate and sort themselves out. The short reprieve allowed Lumos and Ard to travel across the street to the 24/7 Convenience store - an evolution of the 7/11 Stores that were popular at the turn of the century- to stock up on necessary supplies of laffy-taffy and vodka. 

Haru washes and patches himself up with Lumos’ assistance and changes into a new set of clothing while the group determines the custom origin and use of the cybernetic hand. Afterwards they hack the black card and begin transferring huge amounts of won to scavenged credit chits but not before triggering a trace program that prompts the group to abandon the love hotel entirely and the hacking device as well as the card. Next they decide to go find somewhere to scan the flash tattoo and have been given the advice by Lumos to travel to a Synth Shop. Something Sef is apprehensive of. Understandably along the way the group shops at a weapon’s dealer and snags a couple of silencers for their weapons as the police set up more secure perimeters down the street from them. The nearest Synthstore lies at the joining of three roads in SHINEGAWA-KU and the group chooses one after showing off their pseudo-celebrity status with Sef toting a noteworthy amount of clout with his bike and Ard for being so god damn tall. ‘The Early Bird’ is a small Synth Aug-station. They specialize in installation and maintenance and their mascot and logo happens to be a cutely illustrated bird. The counter is manned by a Synth, female in appearance, who has a lack-luster attitude about her new visitors and doesn’t greet them. But she does make overt sexual remarks towards Lumos’ and gives Sef a taste of the more common human medicine by deriding his human-ness and poking fun at his aversion to the Synth culture. After some pleasantries the clerk agrees to scan the code and the group learns that the code contained within the flash tattoo is an address to a popular establishment in this very district, just a block away. 

Hachi Rebisu

[solslifeis]

[solslifeis]

Loneliness is different when you are depressed.

Its been a week since my last post - well almost a week. I’ve been busy within myself, not like I have a job right now like most of the country. (USA) My daughter is with her mother and family far off, it was a decision to protect her fragile health and put her mum in a  better spot that could cater to her familial needs. Psychologically, it might have been the best decision to date. Not saying I don’t miss Nahla (my daughter) because I do, but not the kind of heartache heart wrenching, what is going on kind of missing. Survival mode doesn’t work like that.  But I feel sometimes I am lonely. Legitimately lonely and not simply depressed. I have felt that before, even with my current other half - because we have desynched as a couple I think. Don’t worry internet. We addressed it and then this COVID thing exploded all over us. So you can imagine how that is going/went. But I digress. Loneliness feels different, at least to me. When I’m in a low period - like I am now - it isn’t just the fact that I feel alone when I’m in a house with 2-3 other sane individuals living out their shelter in place lives. But I can’t get a multiplayer game going, can’t get a tabletop game going with other people I know aren’t busy because well, they are unemployed and they are mewling for social interaction. I get virtually stood up often. The depression likes to harvest anxiety from these social shortcomings and setbacks. “No one really likes you. They only tolerate you. I bet you can’t remember when they started talking to you and why.” Stuff like the Facebook memes that get shared around really easily that everyone likes to cosign on like that is how they feel all the time. Which I am not going to judge- if that is the way they feel then that is the way they feel. But, I do feel like that all the time just about and when I see someone share or post something that makes me think - if I would have posted this, I really need someone to just chat with me - I chat with them. I follow the golden rule or at least try too consciously. 

I post sketches to get some feedback on just my process and improvements. I get usually “THIS IS GREAT, SO COOL” Which is awesome for my ego. But I’m past the confidence and experience drop. I know I am an alright artist and my experience is only growing - I can draw whatever I want to draw without too much issue. (Its the polish that gives me the most trouble I would believe.) But after the quick immediate response of one or two dedicated admirers the depth and breath of the internet really sets in. No one else has anything to say.  Depression makes me feel like no one has anything to say. Anxiety tells me that if they have something to say, it isn’t good or constructive so they don’t say anything at all. and Loneliness shouts from the abyss, that there is no one to say anything at all in the first place. 

[solslifeis]

Episode 0: 平和な夏の動き Summary

I started a CARBON 2185 game yesterday and it went great. I’ve been wanting to run this system since I backed the Kickstarter long ago and have loved being a part of the Discord community that Dragon Turtle Games has put together.  But in order to keep me out of a dark place and to keep detailed enough notes I have recorded the sessions as episodes and will be posting the summaries here and maybe the full story on an adjacent Tumblr. If you want to know who these characters are maybe tell me in a note or something and I’ll maybe tell you in the post or just link the whole thing. IDK, I need validation.

Three women garbed in traditional kimono - monochromatic gold, red, and black - entered into the establishment and quietly ordered food and drinks not too far from the table possessing our party. Sef proceeds to make merry and steal the card for himself but not before the Konami Kid, identified as Chojiro (Choji) imparts Sef with a flash tattoo on the palm of his hand before leaving as abruptly as he came in with a mass of gathered friends and associates. Sef decides to take the card with the group to a more quiet place in order to get to the bottom of this card and fish out that datachip masquerading as the pearl.

The tussle in the street was very short lived and Choji wouldn’t make it through two rounds of questioning by Sef as he lay dying in a pool of his own blood. Sef removes Choji’s hand - the one that flash tattooed him as it was discovered that it was a custom cybernetic augmentation but the group didn’t do more than scavenge some silencer attachments and the supposed payment to the kill squad by what appears to be the Wazinami Gang.

Haru washes and patches himself up with Lumos’ assistance and changes into a new set of clothing while the group determines the custom origin and use of the cybernetic hand. Afterwards they hack the black card and begin transferring huge amounts of won to scavenged credit chits but not before triggering a trace program that prompts the group to abandon the love hotel entirely and the hacking device as well as the card.

The nearest Synthstore lies at the joining of three roads in Shinegawa-ku and the group chooses one after showing off their pseudo-celebrity status with Sef toting a noteworthy amount of clout with his bike and Ard for being so god damn tall.

[solslifeis]

Reasons Why Fans of Color Leave/Don’t Interact with Fandom

Casual racism that is brushed off as “an innocent mistake” or “they didn’t mean it” and then everyone pretending like it didn’t happen and moving on with their day (repeat)

Speaking over fans of color about issues that pertain to them specifically

When fans of color speak out about something that makes them uncomfortable or why that don’t interact with it (usually because of the racial/ethnic bias) they are accused of being anti’s or pro-censorship

Characters of color being used as scapegoats/bashed/plot devices 

Characters of color never getting happy endings/real development

Backlash against characters of color if they do anything other than be a white character’s side kick/best friend

Actors of characters of color being harassed for something their character did or didn’t do

White characters/actors getting all the attention/credit despite the fact that they are a side character to a POC or on the same level as the POC

Fanfic authors patting themselves on the back for writing a “realistic” character of color and it’s just a bunch of stereotypes

Being told that they should be happy they were even included when they call out the above people

White fans crying about persecution/exclusion because their fav character/trope/kink/ship isn’t loved by all 

Fan artists re-imaging characters of color as white/lightening skin tone

Everyone rushing to a white fans defense after a well deserved call out while the fan of color receives hate

Never having a safe fandom space and always having to be on guard with new people/fandoms/chats etc because they’ve been burned before

Feel free to add

[solslifeis]

Here's a hot take on making original characters for some who need to hear it. Coming from a person of color, you do not need to be black to make a black oc! You do not need to be white to make a white oc!

This goes for all races!!!

There is no requirement for making your oc another ethnicity/race than yourself besides having common sense and not being racist with it.

I've seen some people on this app get told that they can't have a character of another ethnicity/rac4 because they don't match up to it and god, that's not how it works!!!

Please don't let anyone tell you that you can't have your character be this or that because you don't fit a requirement! (unless it's reasonable, of course)

[solslifeis]

Signal boost, people are so disgusting sometimes.

IT IS VERY REAL!! ALWAYS BE AWARE.

Don’t take them off when you immediately see it. Wait until you get to a different destination bc they’re trying to distract you by getting it off then abducting you. Same thing goes if you find something on your windshield, it’s a distraction so they have time to get you.    

[solslifeis]

I’ve been studying up during this crisis. Hence the period of silence. I’ve also been knee deep in depression. Remember to look at the sky every once in a while. Some people won’t be seeing it again after this summer. Let alone this week. Don’t even think about after tonight. 

Also stay home. Epidemics are serious and this is why, no one takes them seriously until all your friends are sick and dying cause they all went to a dumbass covid party and invited you but you called them dumbshits and stayed home.  You’ll be alone, if they all go and I’m not talking about to the party.

Anyway. I decided to give my mind a mental break and do some fun illustration for a change and this is what I came up with. It is a concept for one of my roomie’s home-brewed meads. Its a basic mead and we have ruminated with the idea of adding labels to the bottles he - bottles. But the labels are in this style of like fantasy and has a story interwoven with it. This is a concept label for his basic mead and I went with a Taiko drum and Shinto-esque deity that represented nature and ceremonies. The symbolism is wild and I’m still playing around with the idea, but I also picked up FOUNDATION’s Patreon STAYHOME package and some of those lectures are very insightful and have changed the way I look at setting up a concept sheet. I started it halfway through working on this piece and I cursed myself for not going back and rearranging everything into a more easily referenced manner. 

I mean, I could still do that. I’m just working in Photoshop and that means infinite paper.

[solslifeis]

I recently started watching Naruto/Boruto and you know I just had to do something silly.  It helped take my mind off of the stress that is plucking away at my sanity and I honestly can say that I think I’m gonna just disappear soon. I’ve tried so much x so many different avenues to try and fix my problems and they just aren’t solving. I’m not made of money, and I can’t keep throwing money at it.  I’ve reached out for help to like, 2-3 lawyers and no responses and I guess I can understand with the current disease floating around but one specifically has known about my plight for a year and hasn’t even given me a price to retain them. I get the “I’ll ask around” and a year later I’m terrified of any knocks on my door. More than normal actually. I don’t want to go to jail. Don’t want to be mysteriously deceased on my way to jail. We got whole ass murderers running the streets and then there is me, just some dude who they claim has some speeding tickets and they can’t get my address right and I haven’t had a car in like, 3 years so I definitely haven’t moved since then. The issues come from a racist little town about 80 or something miles away. More like 90 I think.  I cant afford to lyft or definitely walk out there. So. I’m at a loss. Also, make sure you stay on top of your student loans and make sure people get you the information that they say you already have. I’m being sued right now cause Navient who use to be Sallie Mae decided to just now tell me I wasn’t in forbearance any longer and my financial situation didn’t qualify for a hold. They told me this with a certified document telling me they are suing me for money the school was supposed to return after I withdrew. Here I am thinking it was from some other stuff from the Art Institute (That place is a scam, don’t ever go there.) It really feels like my life is unraveling faster and faster, like I’m falling without a parachute into a tar baked parking lot in the middle of July. But I have to keep on a strong face.  Strong face. 

Be bright.