softboyed - Tumblr blog

[softboyed]

i know you aren't here often, but we still love you. ♡

I am here as positive energy to anyone who needs it.

I thank you.

[softboyed]

gone yet? :)

Yes.

[softboyed]

now, now. i'm sure that it can't all stem from you. and while they may be trying to piece the world back together, they still need you to help with it, yes? so surely they would understand that your own sorrows are keeping you from fully dedicating yourself to that task. and taking care of small things first is always easier in the end. you should speak with them, at least. perhaps they can offer some form of relief.

Need me?

....

Ahaha... well, still. Despite it all, I highly doubt how essential I really am. And angels, especially archangels- aren't supposed to have setbacks like this.

It's- ....

...Rather embarassing, I guess you could say.

...Are you sure?

[softboyed]

Seems that truth stands as well for you as it does for us down here. I'm glad you're still here, though. In some sense. Though I do hope the others aren't pushing too much work onto you again. Have they offered help at all?

In some sense, hah... yeah.

Well, I- hm...

They need more help than I do at the moment. My woes revolve around simple things, losing love and missing another. Being... "sad". Human feelings, drawbacks.

Their problems are catastrophic, heaven-ending at best. I think they take priority, you know? I- I don't really have it in me to ask for help at a time such as this, h- haha......

I don't know. At this point I'm just going along with what they want, trying to make everything better.

I'm sure this is all my fault, anyways, haha.

[softboyed]

why havent u been writing komaeda letters!!

I--

...

I'm sorry. I've just... I want to, trust me. It's just- so hard to be away from him like this and still....

...I don't know. It's... hard to explain. Can we talk about something else, please?

[softboyed]

im afraid i cant do that. i missed that charming face of yours, after all. you've been well, yes?

Ah, you have such a way with words, as always.

Very well.

I've....

Been busy.

Saddling on labels that don't necessarily fall under what I was trained for...

It's a- long story.

But... archangel isn't really a title I'm accustomed to.

Or really want....

But... haha! Ha...;;

Ah... Just trying to do my duty, I suppose.

That's all I can really do in times like these.

[softboyed]

ed! hello sweetie! how are you?

Ah...?

Oh, um-...

Pay me no mind, I'm just passing through, haha...

[softboyed]

you're gone, yay! about time, cunt.

You're persistent.

[softboyed]

Ah... you are too kind.

(He smiles but there's a sadness behind his eyes- one that's been there for quite a while now. He breathes out a sigh and sits down on the other's bed.)

How... are you?

(He appears behind him, and puts a bright flower on Kihiro's head- silent the whole time he does so.)

*He doesn't really question the sudden sensation, nor the familiar calm that seems to take over the air. A hand reaches up to gently take the object from his hair to observe it, a smile pulling at his lips as he admires the gift. When he speaks, it's affectionately teasing in it's tone. Typical for him, huh?* "Now, I wonder what smart, lovely, talented friend of mine could have given me such a beautiful flower. Surely it could only be someone who sees how beautiful every aspect of this world is and loves it more than anyone else I know."

@softboyed

[softboyed]

Dear Komaeda,

Sorry for the late response to the previous letter. I admit I have been tasked with menial tasks here in the Celestial Plane that have made it.. difficult to have time to myself. But.. I think I prefer it that way.

When I am busy, there is-.. less time to think, you know?

If you trust Haru, then I trust him too. I do not know much about him, but from what I’ve observed of him- he seems like a good soul.

Did you ever take Cricket to the vet? I do hope he is okay… I have a couple of medicinal herbs that can be used for animals, if you’d like. They’re used more like painkillers- but it’s better than nothing. Please keep me updated.

Besides that, what else has been going on with you? I hope nobody is harassing you too much… not saying that I can still directly get involved with you, but if those select few people are still harassing you and bothering you, perhaps they might wake up with worse luck than usual….

(There is a badly drawn smiley face here, an attempt at an “emoji”- a laughing one.)

Anyways, I hope everything is alright with you. I.. admit I do miss hearing your voice.

But your letters are good, too.

For now…

(A very badly drawn cat. Hearts are drawn all around it.)

Sincerely,

Ed.

@softboyed

_____________________________________________________

Dear Ed,

I’m glad you’ve been keeping busy. I’ve been trying to do the same, though I suppose there’s a lot more work to do in Heaven than on Earth. It’s good, though, they need you there..

As for Haru, he is. Though I don’t think I’ll ever actually deserve his company, it’s nice to have it. I feel safer with him there, and it’s comforting to know that he might feel that same way. He sneaks into my bed sometimes when he thinks I won’t notice. It seems to help him sleep, and I can’t say I mind. (There’s a line scribbled out, starting with ‘I realized the other day that–’ and becoming less and less readable as if goes on.)

I took him to the vet the other day, but he said it was just stress. People suggested it was because (There’s a scribbled out section.) of my moods. He seems to be doing better, though, so whatever it was I’m glad he’s doing better.

No, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m perfectly happy and safe. Your concern is appreciated, but unwarranted. Sorry if I worried you at all.

(There’s a scribbled out line). Well, you can always listen in if you want. It’s probably safer to keep your distance, but tell me what to say and I’ll say it. If it would make you happy.

Thank you for the letters. I know I don’t deserve your time, but it’s good to know you’re still safe.

Signed,

Nagito Komaeda

[softboyed]

Dear Komaeda,

I hope you don’t take offense to this, but your letter made me chuckle. Since when has something as trivial as my safety ever been of such importance to me? I am an immortal being whose whole purpose is to guide and protect you.

You are so silly.

So you believe Hope’s Peak might be up to something again? That is .. a troubling thought. But I think trust is important in times like these, regardless. You do trust Haru, right? If not… just be careful, okay? I can stop you from dying before it’s your time, but I can’t necessarily protect you from getting hurt.

Kihiro wants to…bring Hajime back? From… the dead, you mean?

(There are multiple scribbled out lines of text that are illegible until the message continues.)

Please use caution. Those that have passed on are not meant to.. return to this plane of existence. It can be very dangerous. Messing with Life and Death is never a good idea.

Ah-

I sound like a fretting old mother, don’t I? Haha..

Today I saw a four leaf clover. It reminded me of you.

Do you want it?

…

I’ll leave it on your windowsill.

With Love,

Ed.

@softboyed​

______________________________________________________

Dear Ed,

I am glad I made you laugh, even if it was at my expense. But whether or not you care about your safety, I do. Being immortal does not preclude you from getting hurt because of me, as is evident by the past few months.

Yes, I trust Haru. With my life, quite honestly, though I doubt he’d care much for it. He has protected and cared for me much more than I deserve, and I really do owe him more than I can possibly be worth. The trouble, of course, is that I don’t trust Hopes Peak, and they’re the ones I need to be worried about. But beyond that, as I say, I don’t trust the girl they did this to. She reminds me too much of Junko, and something about her… I can’t put my finger on it, but she’s lying.

(The ink changes color. Seems there was a long space between writing the prior and proceeding parts.)

Yes. That’s what I mean. I know that messing with this sort of thing is dangerous, but it’s not the same, since he wasn’t meant to die in the first place, I was. I’m just righting a wrong, and I hope the universe sees it that way. I’ve given myself plenty of bad luck, so as naive as it may be, I’m hoping for some good luck.

It may sound silly, but I’m worried about Cricket. He’s not leaving my side recently. I think he might be sick. As soon as I feel better, I’ll take him to the vet, but it’s worrying me.

Thank you for the clover. I’m pressing it into the front of my journal.

(The first sign off is scribbled out.)

Signed,

Nagito Komaeda

[softboyed]

[softboyed]

[softboyed]

Dear Komaeda,

I hope this gets through.

Someone told me that perhaps writing to you would help ease the pain of being away from you, but even as I write this I still ache to see you again. Hear your voice. See you smile.

I sense unrest in your soul. Have you been sleeping okay? Eating well? Please be honest. You know I won’t be mad.

I feel… bad about the way we left things. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.

I talked to Kihiro the other day. He couldn’t necessarily provide a solution either, but he did help to remind me that there are loopholes to everything- even the laws of fate. So.. I will keep trying. For you.

I.. don’t know what else to say. I keep putting my pen to paper and getting distracted, lost in thought. Are you like that too?

You don’t have to, but if you decide to write back, you can use the return address on this letter.

I really miss you.

Sincerely,

Ed.

@softboyed

______________________________________________________

Dear Ed,

I’m glad I got your letter. I hope you’re fairing well with the separation, and that you’ve been spared some of my bad luck in your absence. I’m sorry that you’re hurting, and I’ve been praying that you’ve recovered well from your confrontation with Akira, and that despite your loss that you can find peace with what you had to do.

I have been taking care of myself as well as I deserve, and making sure Haru remembers to eat during our cases. We’re working on something that makes me nervous about the implications– it could be that Hopes Peak is creating something terrible again. I can’t seem to convince myself to trust someone who seems to be a victim in all of this, and the more I look at things the less certain I get.

Hajime was here for a bit the other day. He said that Kihiro is working on a way to bring him back. Seems Kihiro is holding us all together again– I wish he could see how important he is, though I suppose that’s too much to ask of him just yet. He’s done such a good job keeping his promises.

As much as I miss you, risking your safety for someone like me isn’t worth it. I do feel bad about how we left things. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, and it was wrong of me not to respect your decision or demand that you treat me any differently. I put you through danger and distress almost endlessly– I should not have asked you to continue as if that were what you deserved. You deserve better.

You know I’ve never been good with words. But I’ll continue to write to you as long as you continue to return my letters.

Signed,

Nagito Komaeda

[softboyed]

i want ko mada and ed to hug

“a-ah… i’d like to hug him, too, but i don’t want to go against his wishes or put him in danger.”

[softboyed]

komaeda said he'd want to send letters! do you have an address or something he can send them to? its better than nothing!

Ah...? I suppose I could - use one. I will just.. send him the first letter and then tell him the address there.

... Thank you.

[softboyed]

komaeda said he wish he could talk to you but he's glad you have kihiro. do you know if you have to be physically out of his life completely? like maybe you could call him or send letters?

Ah....

All I know is that in his ideal future, I am not... there. So it must be because I am sending him down the wrong path by getting too close to him.

Call.. him? Like.. with a telephone?

(He seems to ponder this for a moment, actually thinking about it.)

Ah.. I feel like it would tempt me too much if I heard his voice. I miss it too much. I would- .. always just want more.

A letter.... perhaps.. could be better.

I-If it could help me keep an eye on him while still not interfering in his life too much... it would be nice..