softbeanofexistentialcrisis

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“Kunikida’s a bootlicker. He’s nothing but a boring goody too shoes.”

Kunikida stole a car. Kunikida broke into a meteorological bureau because they got the weather report wrong. Kunikida has been arrested 3 times.

Kunikida gave Junichiro, Atsushi and Kyouka weapons. Kunikida electrocuted Akutagawa and gained his respect. Kunikida’s best friend, Katai is a hacker.

Kunikida hates authority.

Kunikida threatened to break Atsushi’s arm when they met.

The fear people have that Kunikida could’ve become the Azure Messenger if he went too far. Not to mention the Azure Apostle, Nobuko Sasaki was the real life Kunikida’s first wife.

Kunikida set off a bomb and used Tecchou as a shield. Kunikida told Kenji to throw the Black Lizard out the window. Every time someone says Kunikida would be a good solider he immediately proves them wrong.

Goody too shoes my arse.

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Could you tell us more abt ur au where Apollo doesn’t come back exactly right after surviving being so close to chaos 👀

Yes!! Actually I had a fic that I really wanted to write about this, and I am planning on still doing that but I will tell y'all the gist of it bc I cannot contain myself. (Also this is a bit different from some of the things I've said before about this so I hope you still like it lol)

Ok so, the fic was gonna be a 5 + 1 fic, where Meg and Apollo both realize that something's ... off about him after the trials. His powers and abilities are fluctuating for seemingly no reason. Sometimes he's just a normal god, but sometimes it's like he's still a mortal. And he's also having times where he's way stronger than a god should be, like, near primordial levels. It's causing him a lot of issues, for example:

Gods don't need to eat or sleep, but mortals do. If Apollo doesn't realize his energy levels are going down, he will just end up crashing from lack of food/sleep. This leaves him perpetually exhausted and shaky.

His blood is now all kinds of crazy colors, and it changes based off of where he is on the mortal/immortal scale.

When he's in a "mortal" state of being, he's pretty similar to a demigod. Meg and Apollo learned this when Apollo accidentally did some lightning bending one day. This is not something Apollo has ever wanted to be able to do, and he freaks out appropriately.

One day, Apollo woke up sick and tired of this whole situation. He jokingly wished that someone else could just take over the sun for the day. However, Apollo hadn't realized that he had just gotten a huge power boost overnight, and his harmless little wish just created a second sun. Haha whoops.

Eventually, Apollo ends up breaking his father's rules and visiting Asclepius just so he can get some answers about this, so here's a little rough comic based on the scene I wanted to write explaining this whole mess.

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Heading out to perpetuate the family's cycle of patricide! #YOLO #slay #girlboss

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Sometimes the world is just silly and strange and you happen to say the exact right thing to the right person.

When I was working at the sex shop we had this one toy by Jimmy Jane. They gave store reps one as a freebie which was genius because we instantly converted to believers after being initially very skeptical.

The toys were small and pretty cute, but no one thought they’d pack much of a punch. The best of the lot looked like one of the little Totoros, two little pink ears sticking up from a rounded body. Unfortunately most customers would say it looked like a tooth.

So one day I’m showing it to a man looking for a gift for his girlfriend. “It has a motor in each ear, and it can pass the vibration back and forth between them. Fully submersible, it’s rechargeable, and really powerful for it size.”

He was just looking at it in intently.

“Are you going to say it looks like a tooth?”

He laughed, “Yes.”

“I get it. Personally I always thought it looks more like a cute rabbit, I’m always tempted to draw googly eyes on it.”

His expression froze and I stopped laughing, wondering what I could have said that so thoroughly checked him. Without a word he slowly reached down into his pocket and pulled something out.

“I think these are for you.”

If he’d had different vibes I wouldn’t have reached out my hand to accept his offering but up to that moment he’d just seemed like an awkward engineer type. I opened my hand to look at what he’d given me.

Two nicely cutout handmade cardboard googly eyes.

I lost it. “Why do you have these?!” I gasped between bursts of laughter.

“I made them! I always keep some on me, because you never know when you’ll see an opportunity to add eyes to something! But I think you should have these.”

I was absolutely delighted and after I rang him up for the toy I decided to tape them to our scanner. I couldn’t put them on the display toy but every time I used the scanner I’d laugh all over again about saying just the right thing to make someone pull handmade googly eyes out of his pocket.

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Ok while I'm sure a lot of people don't care about alip anymore simply due to lack of interest, perhaps an upload will brighten someone's day after the dumpster fire that's been going on.

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so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

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theres still time to try shooting him again

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I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.

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if only we had alex claremont diaz rn

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you know, I've been thinking about fyodor's behaviour towards atsushi in the recent chapters, and it really makes no sense.

since he was first introduced in ch 12 as a co-conspirator along with christie and fitzgerald, we've known that he's had his eyes on atsushi. he knows about the white tiger, and knows about its (and therefore atsushi's) connection to the book, and he obviously still holds more info about atsushi's involvement in the book's acquisition and usage.

[spoilers for ch 119], fyodor met atsushi for the first time, and acted with all the reverence and politeness of someone picking up their favorite pawn piece from the board, we see that it doesn't last and these atsushi's pure humanity brings out a much more arrogant, disgusted, human fyodor than we've ever seen before ; but he's still the same insanely smart and logical cunt that we know.

so why does he act like he no longer needs atsushi? why wouldn't he want to take atsushi with him as well, he's literally right there???? it makes me wonder if something else is coming up in the story that lets fyodor just use atsushi whenever he wants without him having to take him home for now (and why he mentioned just having his decapitated head would do)

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If you search up chazuke/ochazuke recipes on YouTube and look through the comment section, you'll find so many comments talking about Atsushi, so please consider:

Actor AU characters are favorite foods becoming trends and perhaps having their own fan base. Any time an actor is like, "I like this food," there will be a cult for thar specific food or brand. Countless videos cooking/baking and taste famous actor's foods. Atsushi loves when fans or cooks give their own twists on chazuke and try them out. Dazai's obsession with canned crab from one specific company turns into him becoming the face of the company's logo. Chuuya as a wine ambassador for different companies. I just think it would be funny if get the vocaloid treatment with their favorite foods.

On a sskk note: i like to think both atsushi and akutagawa, growing up poor, despite having the money for luxurious meals and lavish dining, still have humble tastebuds. Atsushi enjoys chazuke specifically from this one small, humble little resturant run by a little old lady rather than fancy places. Where I come from tea vendors are a thing, similar to street food stalls/vendors, where they brew hot tea for cheap, and I think many people would be surprised to find Akutagawa prefers tea from the run down, unhygienic, and less frequented alleyways of the slums where he grew up in. Perfect places for dates in disguise or when the paparazzis are too afraid to follow them

[sskk actors au] Oh my God I can totally see that, thank you so much for the prompts these are glorious 😭😭😭 Dazai and Chuuya's actors being food companies ambassadors is fantastic, Chuuya would look fabulous accompanied by his fancy wine and Dazai associating himself to a canned crab company is the perfect kind of chaotic thing you just know Dazai would totally be up for.

I do agree sskk would stay humble even after reaching financial stability, and that counts for canon as well!!! For Atsushi it's something close to a guilt thing that stuck with him even after having forgotten the guilt, for Akutagawa it's more of a being quite close minded and not understanding the utility of most things, but I agree overall they'd stay pretty frugal. I fell in love with the concept of Akutagawa frequenting tea vendors you mentioned. In a twisted way, it's the familiarity of his childhood, because even where it was constantly pain ridden it is his childhood and there's some sort of sweetness in being able to drink the tea he used to consume with his friends in the slums, savoring the lingering taste of something that used to be a rare luxury and to that day still feels most precious. The reminiscing the few happy memories he has left from those times. This is really an excellent headcanon, I adore it. And how eventually he'd want to share that piece of his life with Atsushi 😭😭😭

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jack and tommy's big conversation :''''(

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[old comic repost]

atsushi and the people who project their desires unto him

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Holy shit, Shapiro had his ass handed to him. This is so satisfying to watch.

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might expand on later but au where things ur soulmate loves about u/will love about u appears on ur body in writing

precanon atsushi when 'bitchiness' appears:

precanon akutagawa when 'dumbassary' appears:

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I like their creepy vibe

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